Original subtitles

[ Joe Cocker's "With a Little Help From My Friends" plays ]

? Baby ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ?

? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Oh, oh, I'm gonna keep on tryin' ?

? Get by with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on tryin', now, babe ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

On the afternoon of march 21, 1973,

At exactly 2:15 P.M.,

A rare astronomical event occurred...

A total eclipse of the sun.

As the sun, the moon, and the earth

Began to move into line...

So did we.

Miss Corregliano, Mr. Gottlieb,

Mr. Cashion, Miss Lackeroo, Miss Burke.

So, when he called me...

Step lively, Miss Lackeroo.

We need to be at the Nierman Planetarium by noon.

What a wiener.

A field trip.

It was a chance to bring education

To the unwashed masses of the junior class...

Mr. Abramson...

Present.

Like Harlan Abramson,

McKinley's living monument to polyunsaturated fats...

Miss Genaro...

Or Mary Jo Genaro.

Senior year, she became the first girl at McKinley

To take her parole officer to the prom.

No smoking, Miss Genaro.

What was I thinking?

Or Louis Lanahan.

When mankind discovered fire,

They hadn't quite counted on Louis.

Mr. Donlan, Miss Lowell.

All right, people. Let's get moving.

We have a full day ahead of us.

And so with a cloud of smoke

And a mighty "heigh-ho, silver,"

We were on our way to the Nierman planetarium...

34 students and one teacher

On the road to higher education.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Such as it was.

Okay. Listen up, everybody.

I must have your complete attention, please.

L-I... gentlemen!

Students!

People!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Rock music plays ]

Hey! Kids, shut up back there!

Turn that damn radio off!

[ Music stops ]

Animals.

Thank you.

All in all, it was a unique opportunity

To exchange ideas outside the confines of the classroom...

Truth or dare?

Truth.

To expand the boundaries of higher education...

Who's the best kisser you've ever kissed?

The best?

That would be...

You.

To go where no man had gone before.

Are you gonna play for real or not?

We are.

Well, I asked her an honest question,

And she gave me an honest answer.

Right!

I mean, no one's taking this seriously.

Yeah. You can really learn a lot from this game.

Maybe that's what they're afraid of.

Right, pooh bear?

[ Chuckles ]

- Okay. Truth or dare? - Truth.

- Make it a hard one. - Okay.

If you had to change one thing about me, what would it be?

Now, of course, moments like this

Had to be handled carefully.

I wouldn't change a thing.

[ Chuckles ] come on, Kevin.

There's got to be something about me you want to change.

You can tell me.

No. Nothing.

Forget it. This is a joke.

Come on, Kevin. You can tell me.

Well, I am.

I mean, you're perfect.

In fact, if I was absolutely forced to pick one thing,

That would be it.

What would?

Well, I'd have to say, if anything,

Sometimes you're too perfect.

Heh, heh.

Too perfect?

Uh-oh!

This field trip chews.

I told you we should have cut today.

Yuck.

Look at that.

That Harlan kid's disgusting.

What is he doing that for?

Maybe he's dieting.

[ Both chuckle ]

- [ Sniffs ] - Ew!

So gross.

Can you imagine kissing him?

Not without barfing.

I wouldn't do it for a million dollars.

I wouldn't do it for anything.

I'd do it for $30.

And there you had it... where ordinary mortals

Saw nothing but a fat kid with a cupcake,

Mary Jo Genaro saw the challenge of a lifetime.

$25.

Yeah.

And we're gonna need a hickey for proof.

Yeah, a big hickey.

You got it.

Come on, Pooky. We'll show them how it's done.

Chucky, what's the one thing that you would change about me?

Honestly.

I guess it would have to be, um...

Your voice.

What do you mean?! What's wrong with my voice?!

Uh, not your voice.

Uh... Your hair.

- You don't like my hair?! - No, I-i like it.

Oh, you ought to talk, Brillo head!

Come on, guys.

Pooky, t-this is just a game.

Fine! My turn! Truth or dare? I choose truth.

Who's the weasliest, most disgusting, grossest thing

I've ever laid eyes on in my whole entire life?!

Maybe we shouldn't play this anymore.

I'm glad I found out how you really feel about me!

Pooky?

Get out of my way!

Move over!

Move!

I'm so mad, I could explode!

[ Scoffs ]

Can you believe those two...

Getting upset about a stupid game?

No, I can't imagine it.

Okay.

Oh, come on, Winnie. I mean, you can't be that mad.

All I said was...

I heard what you said.

In fact, I heard you perfectly.

All right.

Clearly it was time to put this fire out.

Winnie, I meant that as a good thing.

I mean, you're a really nice person.

Well... well, I mean that as a good thing, too.

You're like, uh... Mary Tyler Moore on TV.

You know, perky.

Winnie, I mean, you got to admit

You've always been kind of... Well-behaved.

I mean, there are just certain things you wouldn't do.

Like what?

Hmm.

Skipping the obvious...

Well...

Like that, for instance.

But... I mean, it's not a bad thing.

It's just... Who you a...

It just...

I mean, you don't have to do that.

Winnie...

Ow!

Okay, that does it!

You were saying?

Excuse me.

Miss Cooper.

Miss Cooper, did you see who threw that spitball?

- Yes. - Winnie...

I did it.

[ Scoffs ]

I admire your reluctance to turn in your fellow student.

However...

I will tolerate no more rowdy behavior on this bus!

- Pbht! - Pbht!

And with that quantum leap forward in human dynamics...

We moved on to more pressing matters.

Okay, people,

We are making an emergency rest stop

For Mr. Abramson, who suffers from a nervous colon.

[ laughter ]

But I must ask the rest of you to please remain in your seats

So we can reach the planetarium on schedule.

It was a thoroughly reasonable request.

So, of course...

We ignored it.

Alice, you have a beautiful voice!

Like a nightingale!

Shut up, rat-face!

I should have chose dare.

Excuse me, Mr. Grant,

But I'd better go see how Rhoda's doing.

[ Sighs ] great.

It seemed there was something to be said

For keeping higher education confined to the classroom.

[ clatter ]

'Cause a little knowledge could be a dangerous thing.

You, uh, dropped something.

Enough cherry bombs and ash cans

To take out an armory.

They're something, aren't they?

I got a cousin down in North Carolina.

Keeps me supplied.

See this baby?

Yeah.

It's, uh...

Great.

Biggest one they make.

Beauty, ain't it?

Great.

I was stuck in a men's room with the mad bomber himself.

I got plans for this baby.

Look, Arnold, you seem to be a trustworthy kind of guy.

Do you know what's gonna happen at exactly 2:15 today?

[ Scoffs ] well, yeah. There's gonna be an eclipse.

Nah, nah, nah. That's not all there's gonna be.

They got a toilet at the planetarium.

The cherry bomb goes in...

And then tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

Maybe he was into some sort of gestalt therapy.

It's no use.

She won't even come out of the ladies' room.

Remember, Arnold... 2:15 sharp.

Cover your ears.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Wait, I thought we just weren't supposed to look at the eclipse.

Forget it, chuck.

What am I supposed to do?

I should have played it safe, like you.

Yeah, right.

Excuse me.

Harlan, right?

Want a yodel?

Yodel-ay-ee-hoo.

I was just so confused.

I mean, there were so many things to choose from.

Look, chuck, I got my own problems, okay?

The way I saw it,

In the dog-eat-dog world of scientific exploration,

It was every man for himself.

[ horn honking ]

I don't think it looks like Brillo.

You know, this is really nice of you.

I'm a very giving person.

Mind if I share your seat?

[ Clears throat ]

Excuse me, but I was...

Go blow, Poindexter.

Okay.

How about some good & plenty?

Somebody... now!

I'm gonna miss the bus!

He better not try to sit here, either.

I don't want him anywhere near me!

As things turned out,

That wouldn't really be a problem.

[ the Grateful Dead's "Truckin'" plays ]

Okay, a joke's a joke. So let me out now.

I'm counting to 3.

1...2...3...

4! Let me out!

And so, in the spirit of intellectual discovery

And personal enrichment,

We finally reached our destination...

The Nierman planetarium.

Now, remember,

We'll all meet on the lawn promptly at 2:00.

If any of you need to use the restrooms,

Make sure you go before that.

Check.

Tick, tick, tick, boom.

The thing about this place

Is that I always seem to learn something new here.

You know it, pal.

The stage was set.

Now, pe... now, people, let's stick together, huh?

The opponents were in their corners.

So, what do you want to see...

The lines were drawn. ...First?

Kevin, have you seen chuck anywhere?

No!

Well, if you do, tell him he better keep away from me,

Because I don't want to see him!

Sure. Fine. I got to go.

Men!

All in all,

It promised to be one heck of an eclipse.

As for chuck...

[ groaning ]

From now on,

He was navigating by the seat of his pants.

Where is everybody?

Hey! Hey!

Hello! Hello!

Taxi?!

So, you see, the movement of the earth

Causes the pendulum to knock down another peg

Exactly every five minutes.

So, with eager faces,

We entered the stimulating world of... Astronomy.

Now, at precisely 2:00, we'll meet on the front lawn,

And I will hand each of you a special viewing card.

With the eclipse of the century only an hour away,

Things were really popping.

[ gum pops ]

What is this, anyway?

It's an electrical step transformer.

It's pretty creepy-looking.

Huh?

Oh, no!

It actually proves electricity is all around us.

You don't say.

Electricity is at the heart of every chemical reaction.

[ laughter ]

How about we hang out together, Harlan?

Really?

After all...

You are kind of cute.

[ Electricity buzzing ]

So, what do you think?

Well...

Well, you know...

I know... it's not me, right?

Whoever that is.

No.

Look, I love the hat.

Here... I'll even buy it for you.

Kevin, don't bother. I...

I think I'll just... Wear it out.

[ Scoffs ] come on.

Just one little problem here.

Oh, god.

May I help you with something?

No. We were...

Let's see.

I-I was, just, uh...

Let's call it...

Never mind.

Shoplifting.

[ sighs ]

Winnie, are you crazy?!

I don't know. Maybe.

Yeah. Well, don't do it again.

Next time, you might get caught.

I wouldn't worry about it, Kevin.

Besides, it's your turn.

- My turn? - Yeah.

You know, now that I think about it,

You're pretty well-behaved yourself.

Oh, get out of here, Winnie!

No, you are. You're nice, and you're sweet.

And to tell you the truth, well,

You've always sort of reminded me of beaver cleaver.

[ Chuckles ]

Ouch.

Get out of here. I do not.

Kevin, you know, you talk a good game,

But I don't see you doing anything.

Fine.

What, you want me to shoplift something?

Hmm. Well, I already have a hat.

But I'm sure I'll think of something... Theodore.

Bye!

Hey!

Ride!

Thumb a ride!

[ Tires screech ]

[ Chickens clucking ]

Man! Thanks for the ride.

You won't believe this,

But you probably just saved my...

Don't mention it.

[ Clucking continues ]

Let's face it...

This eclipse was beginning to affect everybody.

290 pounds?

Now I'm the big load.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's okay, Mary Jo.

That's an unusual name, isn't it?

Like you should talk,Harlan.

Oh, no.

I meant... It's pretty, like...

Like you.

Oh.

It's short.

Hmm?

"Mary Josephine."

I bet I'd weigh a ton on mars.

Attention, everybody. It's time to assemble.

I want you to follow me to the front lawn.

- No doubt about it. - Okay, right this way.

As the moon's orbit drew closer to the sun,

There was more going on here than simple physics.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Yeah. I don't want to miss this eclipse.

Trust me... you won't miss it at all.

1...0.

We have lift-off. Lift-off.

Meanwhile, I was on a mission of my own.

Forget it, Arnold. I work solo.

It's a lot cleaner that way.

Well... Let me just do something.

I mean, it would really help me out with my girlfriend.

See, she's got this crazy idea...

Okay, okay. Maybe you could be, like, a lookout.

Great.

But I get to flush.

You got it.

Okay. Let's rock 'n' roll.

[ Chickens clucking ]

So, I guess we're probably getting pretty close

To the planetarium.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Thanks for picking me up.

[ Chuckles ]

You know what I was thinking about?

You know that "Alfred Hitchcock" episode...

The one where this guy

Is picking up all these hitchhikers?

And he's got this big butcher knife,

And he k...

Never mind. [ Chuckles ]

You probably didn't see the episode.

Did you?

27 times.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Whoa!

[ Groaning ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Sighs ]

Remember, don't look directly at the sun.

Look at your cards.

And so, with the great event just moments away...

We're all so lucky to be here.

This is the best viewing spot in the entire state.

Here we are, Arnold.

Final preparations were being made.

Ground zero. Isn't it beautiful?

One little thing... this wasn't just shoplifting.

Look, Louis, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

This was 10 to 20 in the state pen.

What's the matter, Arnold?

You chicken?

No.

Just... This whole place could blow up or something.

Yeah, it's a risk.

That was one way to put it.

Louis, let's forget about it.

[ Clucking ]

[ Door opens ]

Uh-oh!

But if I was looking to bail on this whole thing...

No! Don't!

I was a tad too late.

Ugh!

Hey! Come back here!

And realistically speaking,

There was about only one thing left to do.

Whoa! Oh, my god!

Okay, here it comes.

We're going to achieve totality in 20...19...18...

17...

Oh, my god. Look at that hickey.

14...13...

[ breathing heavily ]

10...9...8...

Alice! Pooky!

I made it!

4...3...2...1...

[ explosion ]

[ People screaming ]

Top of the world, ma!

There it is! A total eclipse!

Isn't science beautiful?

[ Bird chirping ]

Hello?

[ Police radio chatter ]

I guess you could say

The laws of nature aren't always predictable.

Well, not only did you all miss

One of the great natural events of the century,

But the planetarium, I am ashamed to tell you,

Has now decided to ban any future field trips

From McKinley high school. All right!

Still, when it came to matters of cause and effect...

I hope you're all very proud of yourselves.

I think we managed to learn a thing or two.

Perhaps that day, despite all the chaos,

There really were cosmic forces at work...

I can't believe you gave him a hickey.

It must have been the longest 30 seconds of your life.

[ Chuckles ]

Shut your face, Cin.

Forces so powerful, so profound,

They defied all our attempts at rational explanation.

And then, finally, I jumped out of the truck,

And I ran all the way to the planetarium

So that I could see you... Chuck?

Instead of making up these idiotic stories,

Just be a man for once and say that you're sorry.

But, I mean, I-i did. I...

I...

I'm sorry, Pooky.

I forgive you, pooh bear.

I mean, hey, it had only taken 5,000 years

To understand the moon...

Winnie...

So maybe we were making progress.

About today...

Kevin, I paid for the hat.

I knew that.

? Truckin' ?

? I'm a-goin' home ?

? Whoa, whoa, baby ?

Then again, when it came right down to it,

Maybe we'd all learned enough for one day.

? ...Get back truckin' home ?

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