Original subtitles

[ Joe Cocker's "With a Little Help From My Friends" plays ]

? Baby ?

? By with a little help from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ?

? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

In high school, appearances are everything...

The way you look,

The way you wish you look,

The way you wish you didn't look.

Nobody is satisfied.

Which is maybe why,

Throughout the halls and classrooms,

We hear the one universal cry.

What's wrong with me?

Ricky Halsenbach.

When it came to inferiority complexes, he had them all.

Everybody's got a date for the dance but me.

Ah, come on, Ricky. Everyone doesn't have a date.

I do.

It's not just the dance.

It seems like every guy I know has got a girl.

Oh, come on. That's not true.

Maybe it's my technique.

You know, sometimes I walk by couples

Just to try to listen in on what they're saying,

Figure out how they're doing it.

And, you know, they're not saying anything special.

They're just saying stuff like, "pass the pepper."

Well, I can say that.

So, what's wrong with me?

Now, of course, the guy was a friend,

So we wanted to be supportive.

Hey, Ricky, you know, you're gonna find a girl.

It just takes time, that's all.

Sometimes it takes years.

I'll see you tonight, all right?

Look at that guy.

What's he got that I don't?

I can't wait.

But if there was one essential rule in high school,

It was that certain questions were better left unanswered.

I don't know, man.

[ School bell rings ]

Now, when Holden Caulfield

Was talking about all the pain and sadness

He experienced as a teenager,

How does that relate to your own lives?

Come on!

Y-you're stuck in this place every day

With all its cliques a-and all the put-downs!

What really bugs you?

Kevin.

Fortunately, when it came to protective self-covering...

Uh...

The... Cliques and, you know, the put-downs.

[ laughter ]

I was a master.

I just said that.

Yeah. I-i really liked it.

[ laughter ]

Brett? What about you?

What really gets to you?

Brett Davis...

Class president, captain of the football team,

And voted the boy

Most likely to be better than everybody else.

Well, sometimes in the middle of a game, I get worried

That I'm not stepping up into the pocket fast enough.

Yeah.

[ chuckles ] yeah. He's got a lot of problems.

Okay.

For your next assignment,

I want you all to write about something

That really bothers you about yourself.

[ Students sigh ]

And there you had it.

There was an unspoken code not to speak...

[ knock on door ]

Except when you had something to speak about.

Come in.

Hello.

Yes? May I help you?

Whoa.

Look at her.

And you are, uh...

Hayley green. I just started school here.

It was a moment you don't forget.

This girl was beautiful.

Great. You can take that desk right over there.

She had absolutely everything...

Holy cow.

And a little bit more.

Holy cow.

And there was nothing more to say except...

Holy cow.

She's beautiful!

Ricky Halsenbach... Was in love.

Look at her.

She's really gorgeous.

And not just in love.

I'm talking deeply, madly, head-over-heels,

Blind-as-a-bat in love.

As soon as I saw her, I knew she was the one.

Who's the one?

Her.

Whoa!

Yeah, she's really something, isn't she?

Yeah, she's, uh, definitely hard to forget.

Yeah, I wish I could meet her.

Well, if you like her so much, go and talk to her.

Well, I mean, what would I say?

How about, "pass the pepper"?

Just say hi.

Well, you think that'll work?

Well, go over there and see.

Okay. Okay, here I go.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm going.

And as Ricky boldly ventured forth,

We, of course, gave him all the encouragement we could.

Don't spit when you talk.

[ laughter ]

After all, it was kind of a big moment for the guy.

Hi.

But while Ricky was doing his best to be noticed...

They, uh, they look good together.

Yeah, I-i think they'd make a nice couple.

They seem... Right for each other.

We were doing our best not to notice the obvious...

Yeah, you know, it seems like she's got a lot on the ball.

Yeah.

And she has a... Lot on her face.

[ laughter ]

Until we did.

[ Pounds table ]

Come on, guys. We shouldn't be doing this.

Yeah, I guess you're right. We shouldn't be doing this.

They look good together.

Yeah, you know, she's got great eyes

And... and great hair, you know.

And a... Great sense of smell.

[ laughter ]

It was awful.

The more we tried to ignore it,

The more we couldn't help ourselves.

[ laughter ]

Okay, what can I say?

I knew we shouldn't be doing it,

But face it... it was funny.

I don't think that's funny at all.

Unfortunately, some people

Didn't share my sense of humor.

Well, it's not funny funny,

But... You know, it's funny.

I don't think so.

Come on, Winnie.

Kevin, you were making fun of someone's looks.

Why would you do something like that?

Well, who "knows"?

"Nose."

Get it?

[ rim shot ]

That is so shallow.

And, of course, she was absolutely right.

Look, I don't see what you're getting so upset about.

I mean, it's not like she heard us or anything.

Well, I can't believe that looks are so important to you.

Well, they're not.

We were just... Kidding around.

Still, when it came to a sense of humor...

Did you know you have something really big

Stuck between your teeth?

Maybe we all needed help.

How does it feel?

That's really funny, Winnie.

And, besides, that's not looks. That's personal hygiene.

Whatever you say, Kevin.

Look, we're just having a little fun

About her nose, that's all.

Well, don't do it anymore.

Fine. We won't do it. Okay?

After all, did I look like an insensitive cretin?

[ horn honks ]

Can you believe the size of that honker?

[ Chuckles ]

They were the insensitive cretins.

Oh, god.

What?

They're walking in here right now.

Can I get an order of chili fries?

Chili fries.

Yep, here comes the three of them.

[ laughs ]

That was real funny, Kevin.

Well, I didn't say anything!

That's no excuse.

Hey, guys.

- Oh. Hi. - Hi.

Hi. You must be Hayley.

Yeah. That's right.

I'm Winnie. It's nice to meet you.

So, uh, what have you guys been doing?

Ah, we went to the movies together.

We saw "Harold and Maude."

It's about this old lady... 80 years old...

And this young guy about 19, and they fall in love.

Well, that sounds... Nice.

I mean, it was really kind of beautiful.

Nothing else mattered except how they felt about each other.

We're going to the spring dance together.

That's great.

Yeah. I, uh, I asked her, and she said yes.

Well, that's usually how it works, Ricky.

Sitting there, watching Hayley,

I started to see what Ricky saw in her.

She was nice, friendly.

It almost made you completely forget about...

Oh.

What's the matter?

That nose.

I'm gonna sneeze.

It was horrible.

It was like battening down for a hurricane...

[ dramatic music plays ]

Heading for the storm cellar during a tornado.

[ sneezes daintily ]

Gesundheit.

Thank you.

Well, uh, we got to be going.

It was nice meeting you.

Bye.

It was all we could do to keep a straight face

And hope that nobody would notice.

[ laughter ]

Shut up!

[ laughter continues ]

[ School bell rings ]

Unfortunately, somebody did.

What was everybody laughing at yesterday?

Laughing?

Were we laughing?

Yeah, at the diner.

Did Hayley say something funny?

No. I don't think so.

Well, you weren't laughing at her nose, were you?

Whoops.

Nose?

What nose?

[ Scoffs ] haven't you noticed? It's a little big, isn't it?

No.

I mean, it... it's just a... Nose.

Just like anyone else's nose.

I mean, it's, uh, just a-a nose.

T-that's all it is... a nose.

I figured if I said the word "nose" 3,000 times,

Maybe he'd believe me.

[ school bell rings ]

Okay, everybody.

Class is starting.

Take your seats.

Today's reports are on things

That really bother us about ourselves.

Who wants to read theirs first?

And it was time to get back under our shells.

How about you, Hayley?

All but one of us.

Hi.

Uh, I guess all of us

Have different things that bother us...

The way we look or the way we feel,

The way people treat us.

For me...

Uh-oh.

It's shopping.

See, I look in a store window

At the blouses and the dresses and the slacks,

And the fact is...

Nothing really goes with a big nose.

Uh-oh!

I mean, you can wear dark clothes to look thinner,

But here I am with this big nose,

And it really doesn't matter what I wear.

It's, uh, still there.

And it's been here for a long time.

[ Chuckles ]

I remember when I was 14...

I went to see this doctor about getting a nose job,

And he told me that I shouldn't get it

Because my nose was still growing.

And I thought to myself,

"how big is this thing gonna get?"

I-I mean, I had visions

Of it getting caught in elevator doors.

Anyway, um...

Sometimes... sometimes I dream that...

That magically it's gotten smaller, but...

But I know it's not true, so...

I guess I just have to put up with it.

I mean, it gives me personality.

I have the personality of a girl with a big nose.

[ Chuckles ]

I guess it's who I am,

And... I guess that's okay.

It was warm. It was funny.

In the annals of high school, it was, perhaps,

The most honest, true, self-aware speech ever given.

[ laughter ]

It was also something else.

It was the biggest mistake any kid ever made.

By that evening,

The infamous McKinley high "nose speech"

Had become a fairly hot topic,

Not that it was anything to get all worked up about.

I have never heard anything so despicable in my entire life!

Rats.

I mean, what were you thinking?!

Come on, Winnie. It's not that bad.

How would you feel if I had a big nose?

What do you mean?

I mean, would you still go out with me?

Of course I would.

[ The four tops' "Walk Away Renee" playing ]

How big?

- Oh, that's great, Kevin. - No, I really want to know.

I mean, are we talking a foot or 2 feet

Or, you know, like Jimmy Durante?

I mean, come on, Winnie.

It was Hayley who read the speech in the first place.

I mean, she was making fun of her nose.

And what about Ricky?

He's your friend, and he cares about her.

How could you just laugh at her like that?

What do you think that does to him?

Hmm.

I've got to dump her.

What are you talking about?

It's hard for me to even look at her.

Well, but I thought you said she was beautiful.

Well, I did.

And then she made that speech.

And then I started to notice everybody looking at her.

And now, when I see her,

All I see is her nose.

And it seems like every day it's just getting bigger!

[ Elephant trumpets ]

I keep thinking it's gonna wrap around her head

Like a giant turban!

Ricky!

You sound crazy!

I can't take her to that dance.

This was getting totally out of control.

Oh, man, that's tomorrow night.

I can't help it.

Come on, Ricky. You really like her.

Yeah, well, I've got my reputation to think about.

Wait a minute.

You don't have a reputation.

If I take her to the dance,

Everybody's gonna be laughing at me.

Look, you can't break the date with her.

I mean, you're really gonna hurt her feelings.

I know. I know.

Will you do it?

Me?!

Yeah, well, you're always nice to people.

Oh, god.

And you're always sensitive to their feelings.

Look, I'm not gonna do your dirty work for you.

This is your responsibility.

Right. I'll do it, then.

Well, then, go do it.

I'm gonna do it.

But even though I'd washed my hands of the whole mess...

I couldn't help but feel a little bit...

You can't go to the dance?

Guilty.

[ sighs ] yeah.

Well, uh, my, uh, m-my cousin's coming in from out of town,

And... and she's got this medical condition,

And it's a... it's a... it's a webbed-foot duck thing.

A webbed-foot duck thing?

Ricky somehow came up with the worst excuse known to mankind.

And there's only, like, 63 known cases.

And then he embellished it.

And, you know, it's when you're born

With your toes stuck together by some sort of s-stuff.

That doesn't sound very good.

Well, I-i hate to miss the dance,

But, uh, we're gonna have to take her to the hospital

Tomorrow night.

Yeah.

Uh, I hope she's okay.

Of course, Hayley must have known it was a lie,

But she handled it with dignity.

[ school bell rings ]

? Since I met you ?

? I've begun to feel... ?

Saturday night... our annual spring dance.

Romance was in the air.

Couples were in each other's arms.

Listen, Winnie, if we were any farther apart,

I could get you punch while we're dancing.

Is that another one of your jokes, Kevin?

Well,most couples.

Winnie, is this about Ricky?

I can't believe he broke the date.

And I can't believe he came here.

And the thing was, neither could I.

I'm gonna go powder my...

Nose?

Never mind.

Yep. Romance was definitely, positively in the air.

So, you enjoying yourself?

[ Scoffs ] yeah.

Pass out the party hats.

? Could it be I'm falling in love? ?

Look at him.

Well, he does look bad, huh?

Yeah.

? With you ?

Hey.

How you doing?

Good.

I'm just, uh, trying to figure out

Who I'm gonna dance with next.

Right.

Next?

Next, first... one of those things.

[ Chuckles ] yeah. Right.

Yeah, I'm really having a great time and everything.

I'm really glad I didn't bring Hayley.

? Meeting you was my destiny ?

But the fact was...

Maybe I should have brought Hayley.

I guess we were both feeling kind of bad.

? ...I'll be around ?

I don't believe it.

? You'll always be... ?

And then it happened.

Ricky Halsenbach got a second chance.

Ricky, this is great.

She's right...

Ricky, what are you doing?

I can't let her see me. She thinks I'm at the hospital.

Well, so make up an excuse, and let's go out there.

How? I told her that stupid webbed-foot duck story.

Okay, a minor detail.

Well, then, go out there and tell her the truth.

[ Sighs ] I can't.

Ricky, remember when you first met her?

I mean, you were crazy about her.

You two were meant for each other.

And then you had to start listening to us jerks

And everything.

I mean, half the time,

We don't even know what we're talking about.

We just talk just to talk. Don't you understand?

I mean, you had something great together.

So just... Go out there and tell her that.

Don't let anything get in your way.

I don't know.

Maybe I was trying to make up

For all my bad jokes and cruelty.

Let's do it.

? People all over the world, join hands ?

But as we went out there,

I couldn't help feeling we were both lucky.

You don't get that many opportunities to make amends,

Rectify a wrong,

To lose a love and find it again.

Hi.

I thought you were supposed to be with your cousin.

Yeah, well, the truth is...

They decided to put off the operation.

I-I didn't know you were gonna be here.

Well... Yeah.

Well, I'm really glad.

Do you want to dance?

And there it was.

Romance was finally in the air.

Actually, to tell you the truth, Ricky,

I-I came with a date.

? Join hands ?

? Come on ?

There you are.

Hi, Brett.

And then "guess who" stepped up into the pocket.

Oh, Brett, you know Kevin, Ricky?

Yeah.

Uh, you're in my English class.

Uh... Yeah. We both are.

Didn't Hayley give a great speech the other day?

It wasn't that good.

Yeah, it was. It took a lot of guts.

I wish I had that kind of courage.

It was good seeing you, Kevin

And, uh, uh...

- Ricky. - Ricky.

[ Joe Cocker's "you are so beautiful" plays ]

And as Hayley set off, hand in hand with her new beau,

One question naturally came to mind.

What's he got that I don't?

And, of course, there was only one answer.

? You are so beautiful ?

He had her.

? To me ?

That night was almost like a fairy tale...

A night filled with magic...

And love... And princesses...

And pumpkins.

Maybe it was fitting.

In a land of insecurity,

Where curly-haired kids wanted straight hair

And heavy kids wanted to lose weight

And skinny ones wanted to gain it

And everybody wanted to be somebody else,

The one true beauty

Was the girl who simply knew herself

And was happy with what she knew.

She's really pretty, isn't she?

Yeah. I really like what she did with her hair.

I wish I had her nose. It's so exotic.

? ...Beautiful ?

? To me ?

? You are so beautiful ?

? To me ?

? You are so beautiful ?

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