All language subtitles for The Middleman s01e04 The Manicoid Teleportation Conundrum.eng

?? Middleman:

Oh, this weird,
temp agency called.

The Jolly Fats Wehawkin Temp Agency?

Don't you want to fight evil?

Monsters? Robots? Aliens?

Yeah, why not?

I heard when comic book
evil strikes you cover it up.

I'm just the middleman.

You and I should,
you know, be just friends.

You're breaking up with me
for a class project?

How does that make you feel?

Wow, Dub-Dub,
that's...

A painting of a gun-toting, genetically
enhanced super-genius gangster guerilla.

And tomorrow I'm starting on a new one.

I already have a sketch
and a layout and everything.

It's a Succubus fashion model.

Which is just like a regular
fashion model except...

with pointy teeth and red eyes
and a thirst for innocent young men.

Well, you're in such a good mood.

And you're being so productive.

Yeah, well, my days of painter's
block are way behind me.

I actually have
a job I'm excited about.

You're excited about working
for a temp agency?

Well, it's a special temp agency.

And I'm painting like a fiend.

Maybe I should just come back later.

Why?

It's about Ben.

Ah, my poser ex-boyfriend?

- Did he call to apologize again?
- No.

- Sent more flowers?
- No.

Another giant teddy bear
with a note of apology?

You know what? It doesn't matter.

'cause I'm keeping him on a leash
till I give him the brush off.

It's gonna be epic.

Ben put your break-up on the Internet.

You know, I could have
just sworn you just said,

"Ben put your break-up on the Internet."

That's 'cause Ben put
your break-up on the Internet.

Maybe that's why he videotaped
it in the first place.

No, he said it was for a class project.

Is that why you're holding the computer?

No, no, no,
this was just, uh, a...

I just think that you and I should,
you know, be just friends.

You're breaking up with me
for a class project?

How does that make you feel?

Wait, we were dating for a year.

You said the "L" word that one time.

I was drunk.

Is that hurts? Tell the camera.

- I am the victim here...
- How could he?

My dad is a lawyer...

Look, I'm sure that it's nothing.

I'm sure that the bulk email he sent
out to promote his website...

Bulk email?

How many hits does
this thing have already?

OK, it just went live yesterday.

- So...
- 750,000 hits?

Since yesterday?

I'm sure that's just, um...

...from linking it to a couple
of social networking sites

and a few of the better-known
video sharing web pages

and some of the more popular
ex-girlfriend revenge video sites.

Ex-girlfriend revenge video sites?

You OK, Dub-Dub?

Yeah, great.

Wake up, Dubbie.

Wake up, Dubbie.

Dubbie, this is a priority
message please acknowledge.

Dubbie?

"The next morning."

Yeah.

Time to meet me at the rendezvous point. ASAP.

- Double ASAP.
- What time is it?

Time to meet at the Rendezvous Point.
Now get out of bed.

What rendezvous point?

That's it,
one foot in front of another, run.

Your future as a Middleman
hangs in the balance.

It might help my future if
you told me where I was going.

The Rendezvous Point, Dubbie.
Counting on you.

What Rendezvous Point?

Now, people undergoing emotional crises
are prone to denial.

We all do it, but it
doesn't make it right.

Hey now! I was watching that.

A: What did you put my laptop?

B: Why are you watching that
self-help blowhard,

and C: What are you
doing up at 6:00 AM?

A: Your laptop is where you left it.

B: That pompous self-help blowhard is

a totally perspicacious observer
of the human condition,

and C: I'm having a de-Benefication.

Ben stomped all over
your heart with cleats

and you still have
all his stuff laying around.

Dr. Gil says that when someone
goes through a breakup,

it's better to cleanse the space
of all the other person's things

so you can experience
all your grief in a single burst.

I have way too much self-respect
to worship daytime TV gods.

Besides, I have to
find the rendezvous point.

I've been through four messy breakups
with you since freshman year of art school,

and this isn't the Wendy Watson
that I know and love.

Well-adjusted and focused on work?

Wallowing in denial.

I know you, Dub-Dub.

If you don't
shout-shout-let-it-all-out,

this thing with Ben's
gonna eat you up alive.

Maybe if I assign numerical values to each
of the letters in the words "Rendezvous Point"

and run them through Google maps...

You stayed in bed after
Tommy dumped you

then spent the entire next week

watching Italian zombie movies
until all hours of the night.

You dated Tommy half as long as Ben.

Tommy Tam did not dump me.
I dumped Tommy Tam.

Cervelli! Cervelli!

Devono mangiare cervelli!

"Brains, brains,
must eat brains?"

You know where I picked up that
handy Italian zombie phrase?

Look, I have to focus and find
the Rendezvous Point.

What Rendezvous Point?

Where in Carmen Sandiego is Kamchatka?

In Russia between the Pacific Ocean
and the Sea of Okhotsk.

You're being evasive.

And you're being
a total drama vampire.

Forget about Ben, OK?

He's gone.
Forgotten.

Relegated to the corner
of my brain near oblivion,

which is exactly where
my job is going to end up

if I don't find this Rendezvous Point.

You know, there's a Rendezvous
Point diner out by Lyon Estates.

No way it's that easy.

Their tofu scramble is a poem.

Don't wear that.
It's Ben's sweater!

"Meet me at the Rendezvous Point?"

It's a valuable exercise
in mental flexibility.

I guess it took you five minutes
to be waylaid by Lacey

before you figured out
the location "Rendezvous Point".

Then 15 minutes
to get here from your loft.

You timed me?

- What for?
- For today.

Consider it a pop quiz day.

You will be tested on logic, deduction,
interpretation, general field knowledge,

- and most importantly...
- Hygiene?

- Teamwork.
- Pop quiz day?

Darn tootin'.

So how'd I do?

Nice jammies.

www.1000fr. com presents

Sync: FRS@iMeow

The Middleman
Season 1, Ep 4

Oh, my God, it's you!

Yeah, work is going fine, Mother.

And life...

Well, that's something we're just gonna
have to talk about another day.

Yes, it has to do with Ben.

No, we're still broken up.

Mom, it's just because...

Wait, You didn't see that video
on the Internet, did you?

No, no, no, there's no video.

Ben and I are over.

I'm well-adjusted and focused on work.

That's who I am.

I'm a motivated worker
with a smile on my face.

Hey, it's my boss.
I've got to go.

Please do not go on
YouTube today, OK?

Or ever. Please.

Trouble at home?

Nope. Everything's A-OK.

Trouble with your coffeehouse
poser of an ex-boyfriend?

So, today is pop quiz day, huh?

Yeah. It's a grand tradition
for Middlemen in traing.

I know you and I have been
through Hell and back together.

I thought Hell and the Underworld
were two different things.

It is specifically for that reason
pop quiz day is such a necessity.

- It's a traing day.
- Training?

I flew to the Yucatan
in the Middle Jet.

And at the time you didn't even
know we had a Middle Jet.

That's the problem.

As a new recruit you were thrust
into action immidiately

without a chance to truly learn
the infrastructure of the organization.

Our recent adventures have driven it
home that you could be the next Middleman.

Shouldn't it be "Middleperson,"
or "Middlewoman?"

We did have a Middleboy once.

What does that make me,
"The Middlegirl?"

You could be the next me
at any given time.

That means you better know who we are
and what we do from the inside out.

Really? I think
I have it pretty much down.

Then, uh, pop quiz:

What is that door right there?

Uh, that is the wooden
sword armory thing.

That is the Middleman dojo,

where Sensei Ping,
of the Clan of the Pointed Stick,

the only man alive who
knows the Wu-Han Thumb of Death,

will be training you
to become a lethal man-killer.

Lethal man-killer?

I like the sound of that.

This building has over ten
levels with hundreds of rooms,

each dedicated to the different aspects
of the fight against evil and injustice.

And pop quiz!

Yeah, OK.

What is this device?

Uh... it's the thingy
you point at things with.

This is the BTRS Scanner.

And BTRS stands for...?

Beyond the Realm of Science.

As in, this machine scans
for things that are...

Beyond the realm of science?

Wow. Handy.

See? Pop quiz day has already
yielded some rewards.

And over here we have...

Ah, yes, the changing room.

The first room Middlemen see every day.

This is where we keep our Middleclothes
and other assorted Middlegear.

OK. I have a pop quiz.

Does everything around here
have a "Middle" name?

Like my Middlewatch?

My Middlekeys? My Middleboots?

Your Middlebelt, too.

So who pays for all this stuff?

Good question. I don't know.
I never see any bills.

- I'm just...
- The Middleman.

...The Middleman.

You'd think whoever springs for this
stuff could have varied it a little...

I mean, even GI Joe
had a spacesuit.

It's not all about the wardrobe, Dubbie.

Take a moment.

Breathe it in.

You know what that smell is?

- Dust?
- History.

This is the place where
Middlemen and their Middle...

...associates through the ages
have relaxed, let their guard down

and builtesprit de corps
by sharing amusing stories

and discussing death-defying
events of their day.

Are you kidding?

You really expect that to happen here?
While we're dressing?

It's not just training for
your physical abilities and your mind.

It's traing for our partnership,

team building.

Here we have The Interrogation Room.

I like it.
It's got that CSI vibe.

This is where you're going
to take your next test.

This is the Interrodroid 3000,

a training android designed
to simulate interrogation situations.

This praticular 3K has been programmed
to behave like a mad bomber

who has placed a device in the city.

Your assignment is to get him
to confess the location.

Aww, he's a cute little guy.

At this moment he is the most
dangerous thing imaginable.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
Fate of the world. I get it.

I will be monitoring your test
using a live video feed.

Good luck.

She plant weed on the suspect yet?

Shh. Test in progress.

We have a red ball.

A rich lady disappeared into thin
air at a posh shopping district.

If you ask me, one less rich wench
in the world might not be so tragic.

That rich wench, as you call her,
probably has a family who loves her.

So did Charlie Manson.

Anyway, they want you
investigating this yesterday.

You gotta send the trainee home
and get to work.

I don't need to send her home.

Even in the face of an emotional breakup
with a sexually ambiguous boyfriend,

Wendy Watson found the
Rendezvous Point. She's ready.

That zoot-sucking degenerate you hired for
a sidekick is an emotional landmine.

You don't watch your step,
you're gonna wind up covered in gore.

Wendy Watson has already shown
calm in the face of adversity.

She's gonna do great things.

Bomb's at the Twin Pines Mall.

Were you saying something?

So did I ace it,
or did I ace it?

There's acing it,
and there's what you did.

Kind of like shooting
a cow with a Howitzer.

I would never shoot a cow.

Have you considered that maybe you took out

some of your personal emotions
on that poor little guy?

That "little guy"
put a bomb in my city.

don't get on my case
for Jack Bauering the thing.

You gave in to blind rage and destroyed
a valuable piece of traing equipment.

Violence is always
the Middleman's last resort.

What did you want,
for me to wine him and dine him?

You gave me an objective
and I handled it.

You know Dubbie, a certain amount of
empathy is part of being a Middleman.

If you have something you need
to get off your chest...

Hey, I got a pop quiz for you.

Don't you think the Middlemobile
is a total gas guzzler?

The Middlemobile has its own
onboard biodiesel refinery.

I feed it organic garbage,
it runs clean for days.

That may be the most interesting
thing you've said all day.

Doctor Emmett Brown
of the Hill Valley Institute.

My associate and I are here to examine
the strange phenomena reported here this morning.

Really?

So what do you think
made the lady disappear?

Either spontaneous human combustion
or a pocket nuclear bomb.

Either way, I suggest you step back
by approximately 659 meters

in order to avoid lethal exposure.

Let's go.

So, what do you think it was really?

Either spontaneous human combustion
or a pocket nuclear weapon.

So running 659 meters from here
isn't such a bad idea.

Or maybe it was none of the above.

There's a preponderance of
hypermobility particles around the site

and that can only mean one thing.

What?

Teleportation.

Her name was Isabel Schon.

Lived with her brother and sister in a
swanky house over on Eastwood Ravine Drive.

It's going to take the cops at
least two days to i. d. the body.

That puts us on the cutting edge
of this investigation.

I did all the work, credit hog.

Why do people feel the need
to do this to themselves?

She was a total
plastic surgery victim.

Just you wait, peach fuzz,
until gravity gets the best of you.

Isabel's headless body was teleported
back to the exact same spot it was found.

Why?

Ida, run a search on the HEYDAR.

What is the HEYDAR?

The High Energy Yield Data
Accumulation Resource.

In technical terms,
it's a global analysis and

information-gathering device capable of
performing on-board evidence analysis

as well as universal intelligence
searches across all data platforms.

And in non-technical terms?

It's a big silver ball that
gives us answers to things.

I'm on it.

So if Ida's searching on the HEYDAR,
what are we gonna do?

We talk to the victim's family.

Us? Isn't that a priest's job?

You just have to hang back
and trust me on this one..

Wow. Look at this place.

I can see how she could afford
all that plastic surgery.

Definitely a relation.

I'm Chaplain Buford Tannen.

This is my novice,
Sister Clara Clayton.

We're from Metro.

May we have a word? Inside?

The house is a mess.

Understood.

We're sorry to have to tell you this,
but your sister, Isabel has passed on.

What? She's dead?

Yes. She was the victim of
a terrible attack this morning.

She's dead? Our Isabel?

Oh God, no. No!

I'm sorry to break down
like this in front of you,

but this is the most
horrible thing ever.

No!

Dean, what's going on?

I heard you crying
from inside the house and...

Our Isabel has been taken
from us, Doris.

Oh God, why?

No! Why?

She was the victim
of an unfortunate attack.

No. Not another one!

Excuse me, ma'am, I have to ask,

what did you mean by that,
"Not another one?"

She didn't mean anything.

Please, leave us right now.

We need some time alone.

As I say, leave us.

Thank you.

I did that search on the HEYDAR.

The silver answer ball?

The one hard-wired straight into
my mechanical brain, peanut.

There's been similar crimes
in the last six months.

Several mysterious disappearances,
and in more than one case,

the reappearance of
the victim minus a head.

Wait a minute.
So you're telling me

there's been some teleporting
decapitator at work out there

for a while and it hasn't made the news?

That's Middleman 101, Dubbie.

Most of what's really going on
the world seldom makes the news.

But I think that Isabel Schon's
family knows more about it.

That's why they gave us
the bum's rush.

And look at this.

All the victims share
the same plastic surgeon.

- Is his name Dr. Frankenstein?
- Dr. Roland Newleaf.

Oh, this is totally open and shut.

You think he's behind this?

Kind of a rash judgment on
your training day, don't you think?

Are you being objective or
letting negative feelings about

well-coiffed men cloud
your deductive reasoning?

I think I'm stating
the mega-obvious.

Hey. There's a couple of hippies
in the reception area.

Oh, Those are just my friends.

Yo, Wendy Watson.

What are you doing here?

We're just innocently stopping by.

- Really?
- No.

I'd rather be home
working on my concept album.

Noser can't express it,
but he's as worried about you

and your inevitable breakdown as I am.

I am?

We both think you are on the verge
of a cathartic release of emotion.

Me, because I know you
better than anyone,

and Noser 'cause he saw
the video on the Internet.

Guys. I work here.

This is my workplace.

Could you please act appropriately?

- When did I ever do that?
- I'm trying to work here!

I don't know
how you could do that.

This is one depressing place.

Yup. Perfect for a collapse.

Yup, it'll happen right here.
I can feel it.

We brought you Dr. Gil's DVD
to get you through.

"Breaking Up, by Gilbert M. Swann, Ph. D."

And Ben's PSP, which I wouldn't
mind having if you...

What Noser's trying to express in his
emotionally stunted masculine way,

is that you could play it
if it would help.

- You could put it under water.
- I don't wanna drown Ben's PSP.

It would be a way for you
to drown Ben.

Metaphorically speaking.

- If he did drown...
- Metaphorically speaking.

...you'd be sad,
and it's OK to cry.

Guys. I'm glad he's gone.
Okay? Not dead. Gone.

Why can't anyone believe that?

You know we're here for you
when the dam bursts.

They're nudists, I tell you.

Just by looking at them.

Whatever. Look, I got these flowers.

Let's go to your cubicle
or office and put them in water.

where they'll probably die rapidly
in this depressing environment.

Cubicle?

Yeah, don't you
have a desk somewhere?

Yeah, sure. It's upstairs.

But it's being cleaned.

Your desk? All day?

Yep, and all night, too.

- Hi.
- Hello, Lacey.

Hello, Mr. Noser.

Yo, Wendy's Boss.

These are beautiful flowers.

I will personally place them in
a vase with a nutrient solution

that will keep them alive,

but right now, there is
a temp-employment related emergency

that requires Wendy's attention.

Yeah. Exactly.

Good lord,
I don't know what's worse,

getting dumped on videotape by Ben

or having everyone in my life remind
me about it every second of the day.

You have good friends. They care.

OK. Are we gonna arrest Dr. Newleaf

or is pop quiz day gonna be all
about shrinking Wendy's head?

We're not going to arrest him,
we're going to talk to him.

Talk? He kills his patients.

Rash conclusions are for amateurs.

Or people under emotional distress.

Holy crap on a stick.

- Is that thing real?
- Yes.

It's a gift Carl Faberg
was about to present to Tsar Nicholas,

before a Middleman spirited
him out of Russia

to work on the lens system for
the great steam laser of 1917.

What are you gonna do with it?

It's traing day.

Why don't you tell me
what I'm going to do with it?

I'll tell you
what you could do with it.

Will it be rated G?

- Doubt it.
- Let's skip it then.

Eyes open, Dubbie.

I'm gonna have to do some fancy lying
to get in to see Dr. Newleaf.

Why don't we just ask
for an appointment?

He's booked up
through the rest of the year.

Pop quiz, Dubbie.

Wow. So this is where all
our fake i. d.'s come from.

Is my name on all of them?

Wendy Watson, FBI!

Not today.

Improvisation is the key to the job.

I pick the identity,
you run with it.

It's traing day.

We don't get many visitors from
the Fish and Wildlife Commission.

Yeah, me and Agent Strickland here

are looking into off-label
use of Botox on fish.

Botox on fish?

- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, it's a real problem

because the fish are getting
all strange and weird.

But that's secondary
to why we're here.

- May we have a word in private?
- Sure.

Do I need a lawyer?

I assure you, this is
just a preliminary visit.

Maybe.

We believe Isabel Schon
was murdered.

What's that got to do
with fish and wildlife?

She disappeared and was found
in the middle of a shopping district.

Our jurisdiction is very broad
on certain matters, Sir.

I want my lawyer.

Maybe you should have a look
at this instead.

It's so beautiful.

It's more than that, isn't it?

Yes, it's more than
just beautiful, it's glorious.

You can't resist it, can you?

You want it? Take it.

Go on,
no use pretending anymore.

Carl Faberg's gonna be pissed.

All right, Dr. Newleaf,
if that is your name,

we want some answers.

We've been revealed!
Intruder alert!

Let me handle this.

My gun's not working!

I turned it off with this.

You can't be trusted
with live ordinance.

What?

What part of "let me
handle this" didn't you get?

- "Truly?"
- "On my honor."

Oh! Well, why didn't you
say so in the first place?

- I just want to talk.
- We will talk with you.

But she has offended my people
by drawing a gun.

You heard the man.

- And miss this?
- You've offended them.

- I'll apologize.
- In time. Maybe.

Who are these people?

Manicoids, alien exiles
on our planet.

Wealthy neighborhoods on Earth
are the only places in the galaxy

where their looks allow them
to move freely.

Masquerading as rich humans
who've had plastic surgery

also lets them indulge their
fetish for ding on precious stones.

Now, you need to go outside.

Again, my apologies.

Ah, you know how rash
and impetuous women can be.

Hey, Lacey.

Right now's not a really good time.

I'm trying really hard. I'm just not
having a great day, you know?

- But I'm trying...
- Oh, no.

You went back on the Web,
didn't you?

Back on the Web?

Oh, hey, you know, I gotta go.

Lacey, what could possibly
be on the Web?

The break-up was the only thing
Ben ever filmed between us.

I mean, as far as I know, right?

Yeah, it's just I know you've
been working for this temp agency

and spending a lot of time
at your desk and on the Web.

I know you read that
movie gossip site a lot,

so I thought you'd need me 'cause
you've heard about Ben's new deal.

- Ben's new deal?
- Yeah.

But it's nothing. It's a blip.

Look, if you need to cry...

Lacey, Do you have the webpage
in front of you?

Yeah.

Then just read it to me.

"The Weinstock Company announced today

that they have paid
a record sum to Ben Stanley

to write and direct a feature length
version of his viral break-up film,

which has become an overnight
sensation on the Internet."

I've come to warn you.

Somebody is using dangerous
teleportation technology

to kidnap and kill your people.

We are aware of the attacks and are
doing our best to contain the situation.

You may be next.

The killer is targeting the brightest
and the best of the Manicoid community.

I'm here to offer my help.

We can take care of ourselves.

We are survivors.

We don't need any help.

Then there's just a few quotes
from the Weinstock brothers

about how talented Ben is, how
confident they feel in his abilities.

And "inspired by real-life events

the film will be a delightfully
awkward and realistic comedy,

a cross between Super Bad
and Woody Allen,

detailing in gruesome detail the break-up
of a sensitive and likable film student

from his cold and emotionally
distant artist girlfriend."

And then just few more things about

- how much they're paying him...
- I'm not cold and emotionally distant.

That's right, Dubbie.
Let it all out.

Dr. Gil says when you're in
the middle of an emotional flash...

I'm not gonna do that!

I'm not gonna let him
do that to me.

Ben doesn't deserve my tears
and he's not gonna get them!

You know, I'm stronger than that.

I'm not gonna let anyone
walk all over me.

Oh, my boss is here,
I gotta go.

Please take this.
It's a very valuable piece.

Call it a token of peace and
trans-species understanding.

Just, uh, don't eat it.

Rash and impetuous.

I can't believe you put
training wheels on my gun!

What happened to team building
and establishing trust?

Lord love a duck, Dubbie,
what would you have done?

First you maim a 'droid,
then you try to OK Corral

a bunch of friendly extraterrestrials
who need our help.

Your psych profile says after
a break-up you're prone to

excessive fetishistic mourning
followed by further serial monogamy,

not abject denial punctuated
by bursts of violence.

Your response to this break-up is
becoming a liability for both of us.

We're a team. If one part of the team
breaks down, the other needs to know.

If there's a reason for this behavioral
anomaly, you need to tell me right away.

I have a psych profile?

How did you get this?

That was a good one.

You peaked there with crayons
and had a learning curve

when you went to watercolors.

I was eight.

Where do you get off
invading my privacy like this?

It's part of the job.
Of being a team.

It's not my fault the world hit the pipe
before punching in this morning.

I may seem like
an old-fashioned man.

But I assure you,
I would not judge you harshly

if you had a moment of
emotional catharsis in from of me.

I'll show you a moment
of emotional catharsis.

Your psych profile is wrong!

♪ Oh, you put a strain on my heart ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

Yo, Wendy Watson.

- Hey Noser.
- What was today?

Today was gonna be the day.

What kind of day?

I think they were going
to throw it back to me.

And did they?

Boy, did they ever.

Anita, the way you
spend money may be an issue

in the break-up of your relationship,

but it's not the issue,

and if your boyfriend chooses
to use that against you,

then he's being emotionally dishonest.

You know I can't turn
someone away in emotional pain.

See, 'cause crying
is a natural thing.

Crying is what people do
under strain.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Sorry Lacey.

That's right.
Look at her, people.

Crying is good.

Get it out, people.
It's good to cry.

Dubbie!

Dubbie!
Please acknowledge.

Dubbie, This is a priority message.
Please acknowledge.

Dr. Newleaf has been abducted.

Get dressed and
be downstairs in five.

- This is not a test.
- You sure you want me on this?

I'd be a cruddy teacher if I didn't.

Hey Dub-Dub, I heard a ruckus.

It's something important.
I gotta go.

It's like o-dark thirty in the morning.

Look, I just...
I got a call. OK? I gotta go.

Wendy, no!

Revenge sex is not the answer.

Dr. Newleaf vanished
about an hour ago.

I'm tracking him by the Middlewatch
I gave him as a gift.

The Middlewatch?

Like the one you gave me?

So you mean as long as he's wearing
that watch you can track his movements?

That means you've been tracking
everything I do, day and night?

Whoa there, Cochise.
Understand this.

Being a Middleman means doing
the impossible on a regular basis,

and you can't do the impossible
if you're working without a net.

That watch is the most important
tool in The Middleman arsenal

because as long as you have
the watch, you always know

that no matter
how bad the situation,

I will always have your back.

Always.

We've reached Dr. Newleaf's signal.

No more pop quizzes, Dubbie.

You ready for active duty?

A broadcast studio.
Makes all the sense in the world.

Whoever is abducting
the Manicoids is using

the station's high-powered dishes
to beam his teleportation signal.

With this gear, he can beam people from
anywhere and to anywhere in the world.

Great.

Got your dad's lucky lighter?

Unless you stole it again.

There must be a secret door.

There's always air flow no matter
how tightly the door is fitted.

The things I learn on this job.

Glad you're learning.

Wow. Lacey would have
a vegan stroke if she saw this.

They may call themselves hunters,

but to me, they're
just serial killers of animals.

Great hearts of palm!
That is grotesque!

What kind of a man hunts down
defenseless aliens like this?

A vengeful man.

Doctor Gil?

The noted TV personality?

What a revelation!

No autographs today.
My hands are full.

I play down my hunting nowadays.

My audience don't like to think
of Dr. Gil killing Bambi.

You diseased maniac.

The Manicoids will not be merciful when
they discover what you have done.

Who's gonna tell them? You?
I don't see that.

What have you done
with Dr. Newleaf?

Don't worry about Dr. Newleaf.

I've already teleported him away
to my private hunting preserve,

but I saw a little dangle
on his arm and took it away.

Figured it to be a tracking device.

Now, I'm gonna just assume
y'all ain't from the FCC.

I don't understand.

Why would anyone hunt Manicoids?

When I was a boy,
my daddy and me were driving

when the first Manicoid ship
came to Earth.

Being a Southern gentleman,

my daddy broke out his trusty 12-gauge
and he fired upon that sucker.

But the flaming debris from that
crashing vessel crushed my daddy to death.

I was able to salvage
part of the ship.

Just so happened to contain
the teleportation device.

So you spent the rest of
your life plotting revenge?

Yup, accruing wealth
and power through my work

as a television psychotherapist

was merely a means to the end of
hunting down Manicoids for sport.

So that's all this is?

The Most Dangerous Game with aliens?

Really?

Yep. That's the long and short of it.

All of which leads me
to the part of the story

where I say goodbye and you die.

Wendy! No!

"Teleportation system offline."

- "Teleportation system offline."
- Oh, phooey.

- Dr. Newleaf?
- Don't shoot! Please!

For God's sake
I'm not gonna shoot you.

- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm still in one piece.

I might've twisted my ankle.
But we can't stay here long.

We must keep going.
Come, come.

You know what? No.

I'm not getting whacked
in the back by some TV shrink.

That's just not right.

I've got my gun, it's as
good as his, if not better.

Are you crazy?
He killed six of my people!

Maybe I am crazy,
but I'm going to confront

that bloated ego-driven psychopath
and take him out for good.

I hate him so much
I might mount him.

You'll what?

Never mind.

Yippee-kay-yay --!

No way! No way!

You and your -- training wheels!

Oh, screw it. Just shoot me.

Put my head up on the wall
if that's what you want.

At this point, anything's
better than the day I'm having!

This is the worst week
of my life.

Do you have any idea what it's like?

You just want to do well,
get along in the world,

and everyone just thinks they
know exactly what's best for you?

I might have an idea about that.

No, you don't.

Ben was a tool.

He's a total rich,
entitled mondo-dismo

and everyone thinks
I should be crying over him.

Honey, it's good to cry.

Cry to Doctor Gil.

I can't turn away
someone in emotional pain.

I loved Ben. That was...
That was my ex's name, Ben.

- Yeah, I got that.
- He was so sweet when we met.

He used to take me to see all these
Eastern European art films from the 60's.

You know, the kind where all the men
had gnarly facial hair and bad teeth.

So I asked, "Ben, why do you keep taking
me to these movies full of ugly people?"

He said it was because he lost his
last girlfriend to a Serbian actor

and he didn't want that
to ever happen again.

I mean, yeah he was insecure,
but he was mine, you know?

and I loved him for loving me.

And I thought everything
was going fine until he left.

Just like Tommy Tam.

And Steve,

and Rodney.

- And...
- And who else?

Come on, let it all out, honey.

My dad.

I reckoned.

He disappeared when I was 14.

Just poof, like every other man
I've ever cared about.

All they ever do is leave.

Well, I can guarantee you that
for the rest of your short life...

...I will not go away.

♪ Clean livin' was his credo
and justice was his bride ♪

♪ Palomino Ooh ♪

♪ Clean livin' was his credo
and justice was his bride ♪

Sorry I'm late.

- You weren't late.
- Gok dok! Gok dok!

I knew that as long as I had
this watch, you'd have my back.

All I had to do was stall.

Teamwork, right?

You're a pistol, Dubbie.
You're gonna do great things.

Let's move with purpose.
We have a spaceship to catch.

Hey, by the way, any chance
you could turn my gun back on?

- Yo, Wendy Watson.
- Hey, Noser.

- I'm thinking of a place.
- What kind of place?

A place where no one
would dare to go.

Is that place Xanadu, Noser?

Yeah and it's like a dream.

Oh. You're home.

Yup.

I hope you don't expect me to break
out the ice cream or the candy bars

and spend quality time talking over
your dearly departed boyfriend

while listening to the
angry female empowerman rock,

because I'm out of the
break-up counseling racket for good.

- Thank God.
- Yep.

It's just business as usual here
in Casa De Lacey and Wendy...

and we're just two well-adjusted
people focusing on our work.

- Outstanding.
- Good.

Wouldn't want you thinking
I'm some kind of drama vampire?

Never.

Although, I have a strange craving
to watch Island of the Flesh-Eaters.

Lucio Fulci's 1979 masterpiece
of undead horror?

OK, so we can watch it,

as long as you promise not talk about Ben

- 'cause I need my space.
- Deal.

I don't think Dr. Gil
would approve of this therapy.

Oh, I don't think we'll be
hearing much from Dr. Gil anymore.

America is in shock today
with the news that Doctor Gil,

the noted television personality,
has been trampled and subsequently,

eaten by rhino during a hunting trip.

the news has sent shockwaves
through Doctor Gil's fan community,

many of whom are reeling
from the sensitive psychologist

that they had come to know and love is,
in fact, a ruthless hunter of animals.

Sync: FRS@iMeow

welcome to www.1000fr. com

They fight evil,
so you don't have to.

Next Monday, on all new "Middleman"

Cool.

It wasn't my delivery.

In all new "Middleman",
next Monday on 10/9c.

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