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1
00:00:00,653 --> 00:00:04,453
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:04,453 --> 00:00:06,421
Nope. Wrong. Again.
3
00:00:06,455 --> 00:00:07,761
[SIGHS DRAMATICALLY]
4
00:00:07,761 --> 00:00:08,728
Top or bottom?
5
00:00:08,762 --> 00:00:09,529
Uh...
6
00:00:09,563 --> 00:00:11,131
- [DISHES CLATTER]
- Wrong! Again.
7
00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:12,232
But it fits there.
8
00:00:12,266 --> 00:00:13,600
Not my system! Again.
9
00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:15,235
I can't deal with this! It's too hard!
10
00:00:15,269 --> 00:00:16,847
Oh, is it hard? Is it too hard?
11
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,327
I do it every day.
12
00:00:18,327 --> 00:00:19,729
And...
13
00:00:19,763 --> 00:00:21,731
silverware up, sharp knives down.
14
00:00:21,765 --> 00:00:23,466
No. Oh!
15
00:00:23,499 --> 00:00:24,734
Daddy! Help me!
16
00:00:24,768 --> 00:00:26,135
She's a crazy person!
17
00:00:26,169 --> 00:00:27,403
What's going on?
18
00:00:27,436 --> 00:00:28,749
He's 23 years old
and living in our house...
19
00:00:28,782 --> 00:00:30,173
he should know how to
load the dishwasher.
20
00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:31,107
What do you mean?
21
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,876
He's been loading
the dishwasher for years.
22
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,377
Yeah, and never correctly.
23
00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:36,846
He just throws everything
in here like a big mess.
24
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,247
That's why we have chipped bowls,
25
00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:39,916
our Tupperware is melted.
26
00:00:39,949 --> 00:00:40,984
The Spider-Man and Flintstone glasses
27
00:00:41,017 --> 00:00:42,351
rubbed against each other,
28
00:00:42,385 --> 00:00:44,087
so now we have no nice glasses
for company.
29
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,122
As long as he is living in this house,
30
00:00:46,155 --> 00:00:47,727
he's gonna learn to do things right.
31
00:00:48,493 --> 00:00:49,394
Don't you help him.
32
00:00:49,428 --> 00:00:50,595
- Ugh!
- [DISHES CLATTER]
33
00:00:50,629 --> 00:00:52,096
My brain hurts. I need a break.
34
00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:54,566
Oh, fine. You can't take it, go cool off.
35
00:00:54,599 --> 00:00:55,567
And pick up your socks!
36
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,602
For every stinky sock
I find lying around there,
37
00:00:57,636 --> 00:00:59,404
I'm gonna leave a bra.
38
00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:05,143
I'm still working on this.
39
00:01:05,176 --> 00:01:08,680
??
40
00:01:08,713 --> 00:01:10,449
FRANKIE: The thing about being a reader
41
00:01:10,482 --> 00:01:12,884
is sometimes you miss
the end-of-day pep rally,
42
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:15,420
the free after-school doughnuts
from the booster club,
43
00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:16,688
and the bus home.
44
00:01:16,721 --> 00:01:18,590
Um, hey, excuse me.
45
00:01:18,623 --> 00:01:19,724
Sorry, hi. I'm totally lost.
46
00:01:19,758 --> 00:01:21,025
Where's the principal's office?
47
00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:22,561
Over there.
48
00:01:22,594 --> 00:01:24,095
Cool. Thanks.
49
00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:28,032
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
50
00:01:28,066 --> 00:01:29,501
Are you new here?
51
00:01:29,534 --> 00:01:30,902
Yeah. I-I mean, I will be.
52
00:01:30,935 --> 00:01:31,903
I start Monday.
53
00:01:31,936 --> 00:01:34,205
So, you haven't met anybody else
in the school?
54
00:01:34,238 --> 00:01:35,173
Nope, just you.
55
00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:37,842
And you don't know
if there's anybody better?
56
00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:38,843
W-What?
57
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:41,546
I'd be delighted to show you
where the office is.
58
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:51,523
??
59
00:01:51,556 --> 00:01:52,857
How do you not want to come
60
00:01:52,891 --> 00:01:54,225
to "Skate Along Xanadu"
at the roller rink?
61
00:01:54,258 --> 00:01:56,561
It's my second favorite
Olivia Newton-John movie.
62
00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:57,862
My mom's even coming up.
63
00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,464
We're not telling Dad.
It's a whole thing.
64
00:01:59,498 --> 00:02:01,933
No, it sounds super fun,
but Lexie's at her grandma's
65
00:02:01,966 --> 00:02:03,735
and Aidan, my Postmates guy, has a gig,
66
00:02:03,768 --> 00:02:05,203
so I'm on my own this weekend.
67
00:02:05,236 --> 00:02:07,138
And I'm actually kinda
looking forward to it.
68
00:02:07,171 --> 00:02:09,140
I have never lived on my own before.
69
00:02:09,173 --> 00:02:11,142
Okay. But let me know
if you change your mind.
70
00:02:11,175 --> 00:02:12,744
I got to go meet Mom at Spencer's Gifts.
71
00:02:12,777 --> 00:02:14,078
We're getting wigs.
72
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:17,549
They come three in a bag.
73
00:02:17,582 --> 00:02:18,683
Mm...
74
00:02:18,717 --> 00:02:19,918
[DOOR CLOSES]
75
00:02:19,951 --> 00:02:21,119
??
76
00:02:21,152 --> 00:02:24,489
All right, I am off to Chicago
to see Hutch for the weekend.
77
00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:26,625
No offense, but I need to
get away from you people.
78
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:28,893
I'm sorry I didn't fill out
the release forms.
79
00:02:28,927 --> 00:02:30,495
I'll be back on lockdown on Monday.
80
00:02:30,529 --> 00:02:31,796
W...
81
00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,632
C-Call us when you get there.
82
00:02:33,665 --> 00:02:34,633
[DOOR CLOSES]
83
00:02:34,666 --> 00:02:36,501
Mom, Dad, great news.
84
00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:38,637
My sophomore year is finally picking up.
85
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,639
There's a new girl at school named Lilah,
86
00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:41,472
and she doesn't know anybody,
87
00:02:41,506 --> 00:02:43,074
and she's coming over here tomorrow.
88
00:02:43,107 --> 00:02:46,511
You invited a girl here
and she said "yes"?
89
00:02:46,545 --> 00:02:48,580
Promise to do her homework
for a year or something?
90
00:02:48,613 --> 00:02:50,214
No. I just told her
that I was hanging out
91
00:02:50,248 --> 00:02:51,583
and she should join me.
92
00:02:51,616 --> 00:02:52,917
But where do I go from here?
93
00:02:52,951 --> 00:02:55,019
I have no idea how to court a lady.
94
00:02:55,053 --> 00:02:56,955
I wish I could just grab her
and keep her in the basement
95
00:02:56,988 --> 00:02:58,790
for three days until she likes me.
96
00:02:58,823 --> 00:03:00,659
Yeah, Brick, don't say that again.
97
00:03:00,692 --> 00:03:02,961
Sorry. But I only have
this weekend to make my move.
98
00:03:02,994 --> 00:03:05,530
Once Monday hits and the whole
school sees her, it's over.
99
00:03:05,564 --> 00:03:08,199
Well, wow. So, you really like this girl?
100
00:03:08,232 --> 00:03:10,669
She's available... of course I like her.
101
00:03:10,702 --> 00:03:12,546
I don't know what it is, but
I just want to spirit her off
102
00:03:12,585 --> 00:03:13,824
to a cabin in the woods
103
00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,445
so she's totally dependant on me
for meals.
104
00:03:15,478 --> 00:03:16,505
Brick, again...
105
00:03:16,538 --> 00:03:18,590
Look, all I know is,
she's coming over here tomorrow,
106
00:03:18,591 --> 00:03:20,393
and we got to do something epic.
107
00:03:20,426 --> 00:03:22,395
We can't just throw something
together at the last minute.
108
00:03:22,428 --> 00:03:23,949
Everything has to be on point.
109
00:03:23,949 --> 00:03:25,150
Mom, first of all, maybe you could start
110
00:03:25,183 --> 00:03:26,451
by picking up some of these bras.
111
00:03:26,484 --> 00:03:29,822
I'm telling you, this girl is
a whole new opportunity for me.
112
00:03:29,855 --> 00:03:31,890
For the first time
since breaking up with Cindy,
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00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,992
I feel alive again.
114
00:03:34,026 --> 00:03:36,128
I just like her so much
I want to squeeze her
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00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:37,424
until she stops breathing.
116
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:38,464
Brick! Brick!
117
00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:41,166
No! I'm saying I want
to smother her with...
118
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:42,868
Oh, I see what you mean now.
119
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:44,502
??
120
00:03:46,106 --> 00:03:48,225
So, Sue was excited
for her weekend alone.
121
00:03:48,679 --> 00:03:49,819
First thing on her agenda?
122
00:03:49,819 --> 00:03:52,222
Catch up on all the classic
films she'd never seen,
123
00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:53,823
starting with an Oscar-winning movie
124
00:03:53,856 --> 00:03:55,658
about fluffy little farm animals...
125
00:03:55,691 --> 00:03:58,261
[GASPS] ... "Silence of the Lambs."
126
00:03:58,294 --> 00:04:01,197
??
127
00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:04,286
Hello, Lilah. I'm Brick's mom.
128
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,870
It's so nice to meet you.
Welcome to our...
129
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,405
No, no, no!
130
00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:09,140
The line is, "Very nice to meet you."
131
00:04:09,173 --> 00:04:11,809
Look, I only have one shot
at Lilah liking me
132
00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:13,478
before she meets other people.
133
00:04:13,511 --> 00:04:15,413
We have to nail her down by Monday.
134
00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:16,380
Brick...
135
00:04:16,414 --> 00:04:18,450
Sorry, not "nail her down." Win her over.
136
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:20,852
This isn't fair. Why do I have
all the long speeches?
137
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:24,689
Your dad has one-word lines...
"Yep." "Eh." "Nope."
138
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,190
I'm carrying the whole show.
139
00:04:26,223 --> 00:04:28,793
That's your character.
I wrote you like you are.
140
00:04:28,826 --> 00:04:30,828
Dad doesn't say much,
so he gets fewer words.
141
00:04:30,862 --> 00:04:33,097
I can't help it if I say a lot
with a little.
142
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:37,069
Okay, the first two pages will
take us from 3:15 to 3:18.
143
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:40,705
At that point, Dad and Lilah
will head into the family room.
144
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,783
And, Mom, you'll walk in
with what kind of cookies?
145
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:43,741
Warm.
146
00:04:43,775 --> 00:04:45,103
And?
147
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:47,372
Chocolate chip or shortbread,
but only if from a recipe.
148
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:49,007
If not from a recipe, then packaged,
149
00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:50,375
but not from Frugal Hoosier.
150
00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:52,377
No cracks, no halves. Whole cookies only.
151
00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:54,212
Good. Then I'll come down the hall
152
00:04:54,246 --> 00:04:56,048
pretending to talk to
a friend on my phone,
153
00:04:56,081 --> 00:04:57,378
which will be Dad's cue to say...
154
00:04:57,411 --> 00:04:58,724
[CLEARS THROAT]
155
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,043
"Brick, quit talking to
all your friends all the time.
156
00:05:02,044 --> 00:05:03,187
You have company."
157
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,724
Great! Remember, it takes
a village to get me a girl.
158
00:05:06,758 --> 00:05:08,593
We'll run this script one more time,
159
00:05:08,626 --> 00:05:10,862
then we're going to Sears
to get me some white jeans.
160
00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:11,863
From the top.
161
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:15,400
??
162
00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:18,903
Look at you, rockin' the bun.
I like that.
163
00:05:18,936 --> 00:05:21,084
Makes you look dangerous...
like a homeless person.
164
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:23,054
Still hilarious, I see.
165
00:05:23,087 --> 00:05:25,456
Damn, Hutch, this place is sweet.
166
00:05:25,489 --> 00:05:27,191
Yeah, well, I'm making
some decent coin now,
167
00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:29,493
so I figured I'd treat myself
to some nice digs.
168
00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:32,229
The view ain't much, but if you
lean far enough out the window,
169
00:05:32,263 --> 00:05:33,797
you could see the lake
as you plummet to your death.
170
00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:34,758
Oh.
171
00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:37,068
But enough about that.
I want to hear about Europe.
172
00:05:37,101 --> 00:05:38,936
Dude, it was awesome.
173
00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:40,537
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES]
174
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,134
[SIGHS]
175
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:45,869
Hello?
176
00:05:45,902 --> 00:05:47,539
Yes, I'm here.
177
00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:50,440
I don't know, like five minutes ago?
178
00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:52,950
No, I'm fine. Yes, I ate.
179
00:05:52,983 --> 00:05:53,977
I'm with him right now.
180
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:55,279
I'm not saying "hi" for you.
181
00:05:55,312 --> 00:05:56,882
Don't make me block you.
182
00:05:58,111 --> 00:05:59,412
My mom says, "Hi."
183
00:05:59,445 --> 00:06:00,646
Hmm. All right.
184
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,774
Oh, we have got to toast this
occasion with my new invention.
185
00:06:03,807 --> 00:06:04,750
It's called Bwine.
186
00:06:04,784 --> 00:06:06,086
- Hmm.
- Beer mixed with wine.
187
00:06:06,119 --> 00:06:08,054
This is my Bwhite Zinfandel.
188
00:06:08,088 --> 00:06:09,155
Hmm.
189
00:06:09,189 --> 00:06:11,457
Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
190
00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:13,726
A coaster? Really?
191
00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:16,963
Wh-What? That table
is genuine pressed wood.
192
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:18,164
So, what else you doing to pay the bills,
193
00:06:18,198 --> 00:06:19,632
besides making moonshine?
194
00:06:19,665 --> 00:06:22,168
Well, you know, still at Spudsy's.
195
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:23,436
Really glad I got that business degree
196
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:24,971
while I'm dolloping sour cream.
197
00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,472
[BOTH LAUGH]
198
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:29,275
But I'm sure something else will pop up.
199
00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:30,652
You, uh... You heard from Kenny?
200
00:06:30,686 --> 00:06:32,996
Oh, dude, I forgot to tell you,
201
00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:35,800
I totally lost Kenny
on this train in Venice.
202
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:38,703
- It was crazy.
- [WHIRRING]
203
00:06:38,736 --> 00:06:40,371
Who are you?
204
00:06:40,404 --> 00:06:42,594
What? I don't want any ants.
205
00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:46,277
Ants? We love ants. They were our pets.
206
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,713
I like to keep things nice
for the ladies.
207
00:06:48,746 --> 00:06:50,839
I want my place to say,
"Thank you for staying.
208
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,909
Please come again, and
next time, bring a friend.
209
00:06:52,942 --> 00:06:54,911
We know you have a choice in
where you spend your night,
210
00:06:54,944 --> 00:06:57,280
and we thank you for choosing Hutch."
211
00:06:57,314 --> 00:06:59,137
Hmm. Okay. Fine.
212
00:06:59,138 --> 00:07:01,941
So, what's the plan?
We hitting some bars?
213
00:07:01,974 --> 00:07:04,877
Yeah, we are, but not on Sunday.
214
00:07:04,911 --> 00:07:06,378
Hmm. Did you get religion?
215
00:07:06,412 --> 00:07:08,280
No, I got to host this mixer.
216
00:07:08,314 --> 00:07:10,549
It's this lame thing
my apartment complex does.
217
00:07:10,582 --> 00:07:13,886
Each month, someone from the
building takes a turn hosting,
218
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,387
and it's my night to do it.
219
00:07:15,421 --> 00:07:18,545
Wow. Sunday's a mixer?
What's Monday... Bingo night?
220
00:07:18,545 --> 00:07:21,080
Oh, that's Tuesday nights.
And you can win up to 20 bucks.
221
00:07:21,114 --> 00:07:23,249
??
222
00:07:23,282 --> 00:07:25,752
With Hannibal Lecter
still haunting her mind,
223
00:07:25,785 --> 00:07:28,131
a quiet bedroom
wasn't the ideal place for Sue
224
00:07:28,164 --> 00:07:29,656
to get to sleep.
225
00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:31,958
Maybe a change of location would help.
226
00:07:33,174 --> 00:07:34,275
Nope.
227
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:38,733
[CLEARS THROAT]
228
00:07:40,099 --> 00:07:41,528
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
229
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,630
[SIGHS]
230
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:49,293
??
231
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,580
"How to fall asleep..."
232
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:55,068
"20 most effective ways to fall asleep.
233
00:07:55,093 --> 00:07:57,962
One, turn off all devices." Got it.
234
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,381
[SIGHS]
235
00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:04,727
Shoot. I wonder what the other 19 were.
236
00:08:10,465 --> 00:08:11,767
Is that what you're wearing?
237
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,634
Yeah, why?
238
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,236
Why are you in plaid? Dad wears plaid.
239
00:08:14,269 --> 00:08:16,772
It's a redundant visual picture.
It doesn't work.
240
00:08:16,805 --> 00:08:17,773
And where are the cookies?
241
00:08:17,806 --> 00:08:19,141
[SIGHS] Oh, God.
242
00:08:22,591 --> 00:08:23,659
I said "warm."
243
00:08:23,684 --> 00:08:25,019
Yep. I'm on it. I'm on it.
244
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,718
[DOORBELL RINGS]
245
00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:32,855
Frankie, read the stage directions...
246
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:33,956
you're the one who answers the door.
247
00:08:33,989 --> 00:08:35,724
- Oh. Okay.
- Okay, this is it.
248
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,392
And don't forget,
if things start going south,
249
00:08:37,425 --> 00:08:39,127
we're gonna go with the
alternate ending on page 12.
250
00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:42,197
And remember, Brick,
no creepy basement talk.
251
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,698
Good note, Mom.
252
00:08:46,168 --> 00:08:48,070
Hi. Is this Brick's house?
253
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,554
Hello...
254
00:08:50,438 --> 00:08:51,740
Line?
255
00:08:51,774 --> 00:08:53,976
??
256
00:08:56,945 --> 00:08:58,647
And I have recently learned several notes
257
00:08:58,680 --> 00:08:59,648
on the French horn.
258
00:08:59,681 --> 00:09:02,216
Cool. Maybe sometime
I can bring my clarinet over
259
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,211
and we can rock out.
260
00:09:03,245 --> 00:09:04,753
FRANKIE: Oh, are you leaving?
261
00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:06,054
That's probably good,
262
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,623
because Brick has those
two parties to go to.
263
00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:10,124
Isn't that right, Mike?
264
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,325
Yep.
265
00:09:11,359 --> 00:09:13,361
Well, I am out of here. Thank
you so much for having me.
266
00:09:13,394 --> 00:09:14,663
And the cookies?
267
00:09:14,696 --> 00:09:17,098
They looked like they were from
the store, but they were warm.
268
00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:18,733
So good!
269
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,934
So, I'll see you at school Monday?
270
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,803
I'll meet you at your bus
before you go in.
271
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:24,038
Thanks. I feel better at least
knowing I know somebody.
272
00:09:24,072 --> 00:09:26,429
Actually, you really don't need
to know anybody else.
273
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:28,236
In fact, I recommend not.
274
00:09:28,269 --> 00:09:29,844
[CHUCKLES]
275
00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,249
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Whoo!
276
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,084
Did you hear that?
277
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,886
She wants me to meet her at her bus.
278
00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,454
And, Dad, kudos on your performance.
279
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,422
You hit every mark.
280
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,402
I felt good.
281
00:09:41,403 --> 00:09:42,704
Why does he get all the praise?
282
00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:44,439
I had that two-page speech
about the Jell-O.
283
00:09:44,473 --> 00:09:46,641
You were okay.
I thought you were pushing.
284
00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:48,443
[SOFTLY] Maybe if
I had better material...
285
00:09:48,477 --> 00:09:50,612
Hey, Brick, you were
in the zone, too, pal.
286
00:09:50,645 --> 00:09:53,048
I mean, after you went to
the bathroom, you came back.
287
00:09:53,082 --> 00:09:54,549
And you didn't talk about what you did.
288
00:09:54,583 --> 00:09:56,168
I know, and I really wanted to because...
289
00:09:56,202 --> 00:09:57,655
- We don't need to know.
- We don't need to know.
290
00:09:57,656 --> 00:10:00,600
Well, this is great,
but Monday's the real test.
291
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:01,801
Monday, Lilah goes wide.
292
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,136
She's gonna see all the other sophomores
293
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,333
and they're gonna see her.
294
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,669
But before that happens,
I have to stake my claim.
295
00:10:06,702 --> 00:10:09,572
First chance I get,
I'm gonna try to hold her hand.
296
00:10:09,605 --> 00:10:13,276
I feel bad for her, because once
I do, she'll never be popular.
297
00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:14,810
Oh, well. War is hell.
298
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:18,681
??
299
00:10:18,714 --> 00:10:19,848
Sandman's here!
300
00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:23,486
Brad, I don't know what to do!
I haven't slept in two days!
301
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:25,305
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
I'm gonna make some warm milk.
302
00:10:25,305 --> 00:10:26,106
- Had it.
- Turkey?
303
00:10:26,139 --> 00:10:27,407
- Ate it.
- Count sheep?
304
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,374
- Tried it.
- Hmm.
305
00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:30,010
But every time I did,
it reminded me of lambs,
306
00:10:30,043 --> 00:10:31,277
which reminded me of the movie,
307
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:32,946
which reminded me of the scary naked man
308
00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:34,480
who was dancing around like a lady.
309
00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:37,117
Whenever I think of that scene,
I just think of Jodie Foster
310
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:39,219
accepting her Oscar
in that baby-pink pantsuit
311
00:10:39,252 --> 00:10:41,867
with satin gloves and fabulous
pop of red from her AIDS ribbon.
312
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,489
It soothes me.
313
00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:45,491
Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you.
314
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,165
I know just how to get you to relax.
315
00:10:47,186 --> 00:10:48,387
Now, lie back.
316
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:53,879
? Day by day
317
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,039
? Day by day
318
00:10:56,174 --> 00:11:01,712
? Oh, dear Lord, three things I pray ?
319
00:11:01,737 --> 00:11:04,474
? Three things I pray
320
00:11:04,499 --> 00:11:08,270
? To see Thee more clearly
321
00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:11,198
? Love Thee more dearly
322
00:11:11,223 --> 00:11:14,927
? Follow Thee more nearly
323
00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:16,338
? Day by day
324
00:11:16,363 --> 00:11:18,929
? Day by day
325
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:22,299
? Day by day
326
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,568
? Day by day
327
00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:29,906
Whoa! Whoa, this isn't
a freshman dorm party.
328
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,542
You've got to put 'em in bowls.
329
00:11:31,575 --> 00:11:33,777
Oh, my God, dude,
you're killing me! Who are you?
330
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:35,312
[SIGHS] I know, I feel you,
331
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,580
but this is a classy building.
332
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,948
I mean, we got a doorman,
333
00:11:37,981 --> 00:11:40,050
and there's almost no barf
in the hallways.
334
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,518
Yawn, sounds boring.
335
00:11:41,552 --> 00:11:42,953
- Hey, you know what we should do?
- Hmm?
336
00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:44,721
Remember how we used to play
Big Cruddy at our parties?
337
00:11:44,755 --> 00:11:46,857
I do love me some Big Cruddy.
338
00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:48,071
Wait, why did we call it that, again?
339
00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:49,893
I don't know. We were drunk.
340
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,862
Just saying, maybe this mixer
wouldn't suck so much
341
00:11:51,895 --> 00:11:53,065
if we pretended to be other people.
342
00:11:53,099 --> 00:11:57,238
Like, I could be the guy who,
uh, invented Lucky Charms, or...
343
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:59,774
a smoke jumper,
parachutes into forest fires.
344
00:11:59,808 --> 00:12:01,375
[INHALES SHARPLY] Dude, I don't think
345
00:12:01,409 --> 00:12:04,245
a smoke jumper's mommy calls him
to see if he got here okay.
346
00:12:05,814 --> 00:12:07,210
I told her not to.
347
00:12:08,549 --> 00:12:11,853
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
348
00:12:11,886 --> 00:12:13,859
So, the pay is bad,
but I get my summers off.
349
00:12:13,892 --> 00:12:15,052
- Hmm.
- And what do you do?
350
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:16,914
Well, I kind of just retired.
351
00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:18,014
Really?
352
00:12:18,014 --> 00:12:19,950
Yeah... from Olympic diving.
353
00:12:19,983 --> 00:12:22,052
Trained with Greg Louganis,
maybe you've heard of him?
354
00:12:22,085 --> 00:12:24,220
Probably the greatest diver in history.
355
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:25,703
I mean, I'm not that good...
356
00:12:25,736 --> 00:12:27,390
I'm ranked, like, eighth in the world.
357
00:12:27,423 --> 00:12:29,926
But I didn't win any medals or
anything, so don't look it up.
358
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,362
Wow. Uh, what's Rio like?
359
00:12:32,395 --> 00:12:34,998
Great movie. Hilarious. Why?
360
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,201
'Cause that's where the Olympics were.
361
00:12:39,102 --> 00:12:41,905
Hell, yeah. I'm Beyonc�'s cousin.
362
00:12:41,938 --> 00:12:43,239
Her close friends call her Queen B,
363
00:12:43,273 --> 00:12:45,075
but family, we just call her B.
364
00:12:45,108 --> 00:12:46,309
One time, we were at this club,
365
00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:47,944
and I just turned to her, and I said,
366
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,612
"Wow, look at all the single ladies."
367
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:52,015
And, well [CHUCKLES]
368
00:12:52,048 --> 00:12:53,549
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
369
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:56,093
Yeah, you see, the power
all comes from your core
370
00:12:56,093 --> 00:12:57,127
when you lift off.
371
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,896
Unless you're doing one of
those handstand-y dives,
372
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,531
- which is called an "upside-downer."
- Oh.
373
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:01,432
There's a little bit more of, like...
374
00:13:01,465 --> 00:13:02,433
Hey, man! Watch it!
375
00:13:02,466 --> 00:13:04,535
Whoa. Oh, it's just water.
376
00:13:04,568 --> 00:13:06,504
Which leaves water marks.
377
00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:08,939
Dude, we lived in a 'Bago without a roof.
378
00:13:08,972 --> 00:13:11,375
I mean, we once left a sofa in
the woods for like two weeks.
379
00:13:11,409 --> 00:13:13,444
I know, but my stuff's nicer now.
380
00:13:13,477 --> 00:13:14,584
Oh, right, I'm sorry.
381
00:13:14,584 --> 00:13:17,220
I forgot... the table is a
hand-me-down from Beyonc�.
382
00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:18,488
Well, I'm just saying that,
383
00:13:18,521 --> 00:13:21,224
for an Olympic diver,
you seem kinda clumsy.
384
00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:24,694
Well, I'm just saying that,
for Beyonc�'s cousin,
385
00:13:24,727 --> 00:13:26,496
it seems a little weird the coolest club
386
00:13:26,529 --> 00:13:29,199
you could get us into last night
was the dueling-pianos bar.
387
00:13:29,232 --> 00:13:30,700
Mm-hmm. You know, I was wondering...
388
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:32,682
now that you're done with
the whole Olympic-diving thing,
389
00:13:32,715 --> 00:13:33,869
what are you up to?
390
00:13:33,869 --> 00:13:35,103
'Cause I was at this baked-potato place,
391
00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:37,673
and I swear, the guy working the counter
392
00:13:37,706 --> 00:13:39,975
looked just like you.
393
00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:44,279
Hey, man, that was not cool.
394
00:13:44,312 --> 00:13:45,223
What wasn't?
395
00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:46,369
That crack about Spudsy's... too far.
396
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,338
Dude, you do work at a potato place.
397
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:49,739
You made fun of it yourself.
398
00:13:49,773 --> 00:13:51,908
Not in front of people.
That was below the belt.
399
00:13:51,941 --> 00:13:53,810
Look, no biggie.
I'll just go back out there
400
00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:56,146
and pump you back up
about the Olympic-diver thing,
401
00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:57,247
and I'll say you're on the short list
402
00:13:57,281 --> 00:13:58,748
for "Dancing with the Stars."
403
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,574
You know what?
404
00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:03,620
Don't.
405
00:14:03,653 --> 00:14:04,554
Why not?
406
00:14:04,588 --> 00:14:06,623
[SIGHS] 'Cause it's B.S.
407
00:14:07,957 --> 00:14:10,794
Excuse me. Everyone,
I have something to say.
408
00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:14,196
Um... this is gonna be hard to believe...
409
00:14:14,197 --> 00:14:15,264
[CHUCKLES]
410
00:14:15,298 --> 00:14:18,668
...but although I do clearly
have the sinewy grace
411
00:14:18,702 --> 00:14:22,739
of an Olympic diver
[INHALES DEEPLY] I'm not.
412
00:14:22,772 --> 00:14:23,840
Been lying to you.
413
00:14:23,873 --> 00:14:27,010
The truth is, although I do
have a college degree,
414
00:14:27,043 --> 00:14:31,080
I now work part-time at
a potato store for minimum wage.
415
00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:33,883
You know, I still live at home
with my parents.
416
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,685
I share a room with my little brother.
417
00:14:35,719 --> 00:14:37,153
And I put my mom's underwear away,
418
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:38,955
'cause that's just the way
it works in our house.
419
00:14:38,988 --> 00:14:40,824
You can't just do the wash.
You got to put it away, too.
420
00:14:40,857 --> 00:14:43,326
And if you're gonna load the
dishwasher, you got to do it right.
421
00:14:43,359 --> 00:14:45,995
Who knew that plastic bowls
go on the top rack?
422
00:14:46,029 --> 00:14:48,932
Am I right? Oh, my God.
Everybody. Really? Wow, okay.
423
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:53,703
Look... point is, that's who I really am.
424
00:14:53,737 --> 00:14:57,106
And I had to tell you, 'cause
if I'm not honest with you,
425
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,342
I can't be honest with myself.
426
00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:02,345
[SIGHS]
427
00:15:02,378 --> 00:15:04,113
I'm proud of you, man.
428
00:15:04,147 --> 00:15:06,382
That took a lot of guts.
429
00:15:06,415 --> 00:15:09,786
I'll tell Beyonc� about it...
might be a song in it.
430
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:12,395
??
431
00:15:12,827 --> 00:15:15,461
So, Monday rolled around...
Lilah's first day of school...
432
00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:18,213
and Brick was ready
for Operation Handhold.
433
00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:25,673
??
434
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:35,946
??
435
00:15:36,087 --> 00:15:38,133
So, Lilah, how was your first day?
436
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:41,002
Pretty good. I like my classes,
and my teachers seem chill.
437
00:15:41,036 --> 00:15:42,537
Brick kept me busy,
438
00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:44,405
so I didn't really get a chance
to talk to any other people.
439
00:15:44,439 --> 00:15:47,408
And he also said there's no
clubs or activities at school.
440
00:15:47,442 --> 00:15:48,714
That seems weird.
441
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,783
Yeah. You need to be careful
of any signs going up,
442
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:52,985
'cause they're frequently
shills for cults.
443
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:55,455
Sounds like everything's
going according to script.
444
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,624
The only bad thing was,
I got these anonymous notes
445
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,461
in my locker... uh,
like, one in the morning,
446
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,662
and then I got one after school...
447
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,731
that were kinda threatening.
448
00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:04,899
What? You're kidding?
449
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:08,737
Yeah, one of them said, "Keep
your filthy ears to yourself."
450
00:16:08,770 --> 00:16:10,338
And then the other one said, uh,
451
00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:12,340
"Stay away from the little guy
if you value your shins."
452
00:16:12,373 --> 00:16:13,742
[SPOON CLATTERS]
453
00:16:13,775 --> 00:16:14,809
Okay, well, everything's pretty much
454
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,210
where you think it is at school.
455
00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,879
You'll find it.
456
00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,749
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
457
00:16:20,782 --> 00:16:22,283
What did you just do?
458
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,953
You heard her...
those threats were from Cindy!
459
00:16:24,986 --> 00:16:26,721
Those threats were from the lady I love!
460
00:16:26,755 --> 00:16:28,122
She clearly wants me back!
461
00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:29,891
No, no, no, no, no. We put too much work
462
00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:31,292
into getting this fish in the boat.
463
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:34,028
Besides, Lilah is lovely
and smart and normal
464
00:16:34,062 --> 00:16:35,525
and she seems to really like you.
465
00:16:35,526 --> 00:16:38,195
And she eats cereal. We don't
have to buy her shrimp.
466
00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:39,730
But she's so much work.
467
00:16:39,763 --> 00:16:42,466
And with Cindy,
things just come so naturally.
468
00:16:42,499 --> 00:16:44,477
You know Cindy... she's one in a million.
469
00:16:44,510 --> 00:16:45,602
I'd go higher.
470
00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:47,538
I blew it and broke up with her
471
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:50,281
and thought I lost her forever,
but now I have hope.
472
00:16:50,282 --> 00:16:52,284
I'm walking on air!
473
00:16:52,317 --> 00:16:54,920
[BOTH SIGH]
474
00:16:54,953 --> 00:16:56,555
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Aah!
475
00:16:56,589 --> 00:16:58,957
After a 72-hour bout of insomnia,
476
00:16:58,991 --> 00:17:00,959
Sue wasn't sure if that was a real knock
477
00:17:00,993 --> 00:17:02,828
or a figment of a sleep-deprived mind.
478
00:17:02,861 --> 00:17:05,297
But just when she thought all was lost,
479
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:06,965
her prayer was answered.
480
00:17:08,246 --> 00:17:10,168
Dad? Wait, what are you doing here?
481
00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:12,671
Well, you know, on the group text,
482
00:17:12,705 --> 00:17:14,936
you were telling your mom about how
you haven't slept in three days.
483
00:17:14,937 --> 00:17:16,105
Aww.
484
00:17:16,139 --> 00:17:19,309
And by the way, take me off that
group text... it's annoying.
485
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,178
So, what's the problem?
486
00:17:21,211 --> 00:17:23,413
Well, I don't know. I was looking forward
487
00:17:23,446 --> 00:17:25,869
to Lexie being away
so that I could be on my own,
488
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:27,938
but then being alone freaked me out.
489
00:17:27,971 --> 00:17:29,506
I mean, it's a little worrying.
490
00:17:29,539 --> 00:17:32,142
How am I ever gonna live
by myself if I can't be alone?
491
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:34,945
Well, we're gonna be dead someday,
492
00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:36,046
so you got to figure it out.
493
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:37,047
Dad.
494
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,216
What? Sue, it's not like
this is something new.
495
00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:41,517
You've always been hard to
settle down and get to bed.
496
00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:42,465
Really?
497
00:17:42,498 --> 00:17:45,288
Yeah. Well, you kinda idle high.
498
00:17:45,322 --> 00:17:47,490
It's... It's great that you get
so excited about stuff,
499
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,446
but it's hard to bring
all that energy down.
500
00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:52,949
Even when you were a baby, your mom
501
00:17:52,982 --> 00:17:56,353
used to be at her wits' end
trying to calm you down.
502
00:17:56,386 --> 00:17:57,920
She would try to swaddle you, but
503
00:17:57,954 --> 00:18:00,957
[CLICKS TONGUE] she'd
never quite do it right.
504
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:03,826
I guess I kinda had the magic touch.
505
00:18:05,135 --> 00:18:08,005
See, the trick is,
506
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:13,075
make that first tuck nice and snug.
507
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:15,545
There you go. That's key,
508
00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:17,639
because if that goes slack,
509
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,233
the whole thing kinda falls apart.
510
00:18:19,258 --> 00:18:21,083
So, you bring that corner up
511
00:18:21,951 --> 00:18:25,755
and bring this side over.
512
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:28,215
Uh-huh.
513
00:18:29,052 --> 00:18:30,124
[SIGHS]
514
00:18:30,187 --> 00:18:32,256
Then once I got you all bundled,
515
00:18:33,036 --> 00:18:34,828
I'd just carry you around
the room like a football.
516
00:18:34,853 --> 00:18:35,720
[CHUCKLES]
517
00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:38,481
Your whole body would fit right here.
518
00:18:38,506 --> 00:18:39,407
How's that?
519
00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:40,669
Actually pretty nice.
520
00:18:40,694 --> 00:18:41,662
Hmm.
521
00:18:41,951 --> 00:18:44,940
Well, then, after I got you
all wrapped up,
522
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:48,845
I would tell you a nice, long...
523
00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,906
boring story about my day.
524
00:18:52,302 --> 00:18:54,304
Like today, for instance...
525
00:18:54,329 --> 00:18:57,265
somebody ordered
an extra flat of granite,
526
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,180
but I couldn't find the original order.
527
00:18:59,649 --> 00:19:03,453
So I had to look through the
accordion file, and sure enough,
528
00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:05,878
someone had misfiled it
with the January orders.
529
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:09,131
So, I called Dave down at
the pit, told him to come up.
530
00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:13,024
He didn't come right away, so I had
to head down there and meet him.
531
00:19:13,049 --> 00:19:15,185
Met him halfway...
we ran into each other.
532
00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:16,806
Had a nice laugh about that.
533
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:21,602
Then I gave him a form Z207-B...
that's for granite.
534
00:19:22,031 --> 00:19:26,969
Don't want to mix that up with
Z206-C. That's for limestone.
535
00:19:27,002 --> 00:19:28,674
??
536
00:19:28,707 --> 00:19:30,111
Still got it.
537
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:36,143
[SIGHS] Can you open this for me?
538
00:19:36,177 --> 00:19:38,045
My arm's still a little numb
539
00:19:38,079 --> 00:19:39,313
from Sue sleeping on it all night.
540
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,715
Oh. So, the swaddling still worked, huh?
541
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:42,716
Like a charm.
542
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,318
Hmm. I never could do that.
543
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,620
I know. I should teach a class.
544
00:19:48,281 --> 00:19:49,421
[DOOR CLOSES]
545
00:19:50,805 --> 00:19:52,106
Hey.
546
00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:55,588
Oh, my God.
547
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:59,000
I know. Figured if I want
to get a real job,
548
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:01,433
I probably shouldn't look like
some dude in a jam band.
549
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,804
I appreciate you guys
being so cool about it.
550
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:04,892
Uh, not that cool.
551
00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:06,852
I snuck into your room a couple
times with hedge clippers.
552
00:20:06,877 --> 00:20:08,346
Your mom stopped me.
553
00:20:08,371 --> 00:20:10,407
It was time. I want my own place.
554
00:20:10,671 --> 00:20:12,406
I want posters with frames
555
00:20:12,431 --> 00:20:14,733
and fine, pressed-wood things
that I care about.
556
00:20:14,758 --> 00:20:16,126
Before, I was saying
I was looking for a job,
557
00:20:16,151 --> 00:20:18,521
but honestly, I was kinda half-assin' it.
558
00:20:18,546 --> 00:20:20,915
But from now on, I'm on it full-time.
559
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,205
Tomorrow, I'm getting up and
hitting the job sites early...
560
00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:24,265
maybe 11:00.
561
00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:26,940
Ha. I'm kidding. Kidding.
562
00:20:26,965 --> 00:20:29,753
9:30... ish.
563
00:20:30,578 --> 00:20:33,249
Well, good for you, Axl. Sounds great.
564
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:34,508
Yeah.
565
00:20:37,205 --> 00:20:42,777
??
566
00:20:43,471 --> 00:20:47,271
Oh, my God, Mike, our
23-year-old is growing up.
567
00:20:47,296 --> 00:20:48,464
Yep.
568
00:20:48,896 --> 00:20:51,499
Really? You have nothing more to say?
569
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,720
Nope.
570
00:20:55,502 --> 00:20:57,471
[BOTTLES CLINK]
571
00:21:01,373 --> 00:21:07,179
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572
00:21:07,229 --> 00:21:11,779
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