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1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,620
Sean, is that your fourth sandwich?
2
00:00:05,621 --> 00:00:07,422
- Yeah.
- What's wrong with you?
3
00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:09,991
I don't know, Ma. Just not that hungry.
4
00:00:09,992 --> 00:00:12,493
Come on, take the open shot.
5
00:00:12,494 --> 00:00:14,629
(cheering)
6
00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:15,663
Nope.
7
00:00:15,664 --> 00:00:16,998
Nope?
8
00:00:16,999 --> 00:00:18,466
To what, sitting?
9
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:19,734
No one sits on my left
10
00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:21,302
during the Celtics' winning streak.
11
00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:24,172
And I've got to be holding this
biography of Eleanor Roosevelt.
12
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:26,341
You're reading that?
13
00:00:26,342 --> 00:00:27,809
You wish.
14
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:30,111
Yeah, Sean, I'm a single pregnant woman.
15
00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:31,679
That's how I use my wishes.
16
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,282
It started three weeks ago.
17
00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:36,317
The Celtics were losing, Sean got up
18
00:00:36,318 --> 00:00:38,119
from sitting on Gerard's left,
19
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,354
grabbed the book out of my hand
20
00:00:39,355 --> 00:00:40,822
to kill a bug on the TV screen...
21
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:43,458
And the Celtics hit a three.
22
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:46,227
That's when we realized
everything's connected.
23
00:00:46,228 --> 00:00:48,062
This is ridiculous.
24
00:00:48,063 --> 00:00:49,230
Jackie, let's be supportive.
25
00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:50,398
Your brother's holding a book.
26
00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:51,699
Who knows where that could lead?
27
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,234
(buzzer blaring)
28
00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:54,235
(cheering)
29
00:00:54,236 --> 00:00:55,236
Celtics win!
30
00:00:55,237 --> 00:00:56,838
- Good work, Sean.
- You two, buddy.
31
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,339
Halfway through the third quarter,
32
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:01,309
my hand cramped up, and I
wanted to put the book down,
33
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:02,910
but I fought through it.
34
00:01:02,911 --> 00:01:04,679
That's what champions do.
35
00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:09,684
Something very disturbing
just happened to me.
36
00:01:09,685 --> 00:01:10,818
Hey, Ronny.
37
00:01:10,819 --> 00:01:11,986
Hey, Jason.
38
00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:13,121
Told you.
39
00:01:13,122 --> 00:01:14,155
Told me what?
40
00:01:14,156 --> 00:01:16,057
Oh, yesterday, when I passed you,
41
00:01:16,058 --> 00:01:19,660
I said, "See you around,"
and sure enough...
42
00:01:19,661 --> 00:01:20,928
So, what's up?
43
00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:22,530
Oh, I'm having a little party Saturday.
44
00:01:22,531 --> 00:01:23,664
I wanted to invite you.
45
00:01:23,665 --> 00:01:24,832
Oh, thanks.
46
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:26,200
And you're welcome to
bring your girlfriend.
47
00:01:26,201 --> 00:01:28,102
Girlfriend?
48
00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,704
The woman who's always here?
49
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,006
You're always laughing together.
50
00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:33,341
She's slightly older.
51
00:01:34,544 --> 00:01:36,944
He thought Mom was my girlfriend!
52
00:01:38,214 --> 00:01:39,914
Oh, Ronny.
53
00:01:39,915 --> 00:01:42,049
Why would you just hand this to us?
54
00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,518
JACKIE: Look on the bright side.
55
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,287
Someone thought you were dating someone.
56
00:01:46,288 --> 00:01:47,655
This is not good.
57
00:01:47,656 --> 00:01:50,024
I know; I think I have a
conflict Saturday night.
58
00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:52,393
I might not be able to go to the party.
59
00:01:52,394 --> 00:01:55,696
- Mom!
- Fine. I'll try to move some things around.
60
00:01:55,697 --> 00:01:56,764
GERARD: Look, Ronny,
61
00:01:56,765 --> 00:01:57,899
she's compromising.
62
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,967
Part of what makes
you two a great couple.
63
00:01:59,968 --> 00:02:00,935
We're not a couple!
64
00:02:00,936 --> 00:02:02,503
Hey! You could do a lot worse
65
00:02:02,504 --> 00:02:04,105
than your mother.
66
00:02:04,808 --> 00:02:06,274
I'm with you, Dad.
67
00:02:06,275 --> 00:02:08,476
There's no way Ronny could get Ma.
68
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:10,545
You know, I'm surprised
69
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:12,313
this doesn't happen to
you and Ma more often.
70
00:02:12,314 --> 00:02:13,781
Actually, Mrs. Dennis from the library
71
00:02:13,782 --> 00:02:16,684
thought that we were a couple.
72
00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:17,685
Did you correct her?
73
00:02:17,686 --> 00:02:18,920
She seemed busy.
74
00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,758
Ronny, you and Ma are always together.
75
00:02:23,759 --> 00:02:24,792
Hanging out,
76
00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:26,727
watching your procedural crime dramas,
77
00:02:26,728 --> 00:02:28,095
not fast forwarding through commercials
78
00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:30,498
because that's when you "break it down. "
79
00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:33,401
Admit it, Ronny.
80
00:02:33,402 --> 00:02:35,503
You are totally dependent on Ma.
81
00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:36,771
That's not true.
82
00:02:36,772 --> 00:02:39,507
We're co-dependent, right, Ronny?
83
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:42,510
I really need you to answer me.
84
00:02:43,646 --> 00:02:45,446
If anyone is dependent on Mom and Dad,
85
00:02:45,447 --> 00:02:46,814
it's you guys.
86
00:02:46,815 --> 00:02:48,616
You're here all the time.
87
00:02:48,617 --> 00:02:51,786
Sean, what did you do last year
when Mom lost her house key?
88
00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,955
I opened the door and let her in.
89
00:02:54,958 --> 00:02:56,591
We only come over here
90
00:02:56,592 --> 00:02:58,493
'cause the game's on all the
time and there's free food.
91
00:02:58,494 --> 00:03:00,761
Free? Somebody pays for that, you know.
92
00:03:00,762 --> 00:03:02,363
Food doesn't just grow on trees.
93
00:03:02,364 --> 00:03:04,198
Actually, it does.
94
00:03:04,199 --> 00:03:05,833
I mean, none of the stuff that we eat.
95
00:03:05,834 --> 00:03:06,834
But it does.
96
00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:08,536
And I just come here so much
97
00:03:08,537 --> 00:03:10,204
because I know how sad Mom and Dad get
98
00:03:10,205 --> 00:03:11,205
when I'm not around.
99
00:03:11,206 --> 00:03:12,907
Uh-huh.
100
00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:14,976
I can't tell you how many
times I've shown up here
101
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,477
and they've looked unhappy,
102
00:03:16,478 --> 00:03:19,347
but by the time I leave,
they're all smiles.
103
00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:24,352
Lot of mental gymnastics going on there.
104
00:03:26,155 --> 00:03:27,188
Ronny, you wouldn't last
105
00:03:27,189 --> 00:03:29,590
a day without talking to Ma.
106
00:03:29,591 --> 00:03:32,360
Okay, if you're so cocky,
how about we make a bet?
107
00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:33,361
Let's see who can go the longest
108
00:03:33,362 --> 00:03:35,196
without coming over here.
109
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,397
What? No.
110
00:03:36,398 --> 00:03:38,199
That's a terrible bet.
111
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,467
You're on, Ronny.
112
00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:40,735
- I'm in.
- Me, too.
113
00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:43,504
$50 Dolan's gift card to the winner.
114
00:03:43,505 --> 00:03:45,706
Arthur, can you believe
this? Do something!
115
00:03:45,707 --> 00:03:46,941
I'll make it a hundred.
116
00:03:48,444 --> 00:03:49,877
And not just seeing them.
117
00:03:49,878 --> 00:03:51,078
No phone calls,
118
00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,346
no texts.
119
00:03:52,347 --> 00:03:53,881
No communication at all.
120
00:03:53,882 --> 00:03:55,683
- Fine.
- Deal.
121
00:03:55,684 --> 00:03:58,119
You know, it would be quicker
if you all just took turns
122
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,754
punching me in the heart.
123
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:03,357
You guys are so going down.
124
00:04:03,358 --> 00:04:05,059
Oh, really? Why don't we start now?
125
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,727
- Great. - Done.
- Bring it on.
126
00:04:06,728 --> 00:04:08,663
No! This is crazy.
127
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,264
You can't.
128
00:04:10,265 --> 00:04:12,233
Why?
129
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:14,502
Well, you better get started.
130
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:16,336
You don't want to be disqualified.
131
00:04:16,337 --> 00:04:21,336
Sync and corrections by: kDragon
www.Addic7ed.com
132
00:04:21,337 --> 00:04:26,337
The McCarthys SO1E13
Original air date 07/04/2015
133
00:04:32,783 --> 00:04:34,083
Geez, Marjorie.
134
00:04:34,084 --> 00:04:35,250
You sure we've got enough?
135
00:04:35,251 --> 00:04:36,685
I know I made a lot,
136
00:04:36,686 --> 00:04:38,120
but I'm used to cooking for eight.
137
00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:39,221
Eight?
138
00:04:39,222 --> 00:04:41,457
You, me, Ronny, Jackie, Gerard,
139
00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:42,958
Sean, Sean, Sean.
140
00:04:42,959 --> 00:04:44,960
Do you miss them, Arthur?
141
00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:46,395
(laughs)
142
00:04:47,064 --> 00:04:48,330
Oh, you're serious?
143
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,599
Yeah, I'm all torn up inside.
144
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,235
Just for that, you don't get
your 16 pieces of chicken.
145
00:04:53,236 --> 00:04:54,536
Marjorie, they're supposed
146
00:04:54,537 --> 00:04:56,138
to have their own lives.
147
00:04:56,139 --> 00:04:57,806
But I've worked hard
to make this the hub.
148
00:04:57,807 --> 00:04:59,708
- The what?
- The hub, Arthur.
149
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:00,909
Hub, like a wheel.
150
00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:02,344
And the kids are the spokes.
151
00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:04,213
And the spokes go out in all directions.
152
00:05:04,214 --> 00:05:06,548
But they're always connected to the hub.
153
00:05:06,549 --> 00:05:08,784
Have you ever seen a hub with no spokes?
154
00:05:08,785 --> 00:05:10,452
I seen a dog with three legs.
155
00:05:10,453 --> 00:05:11,787
Didn't seem to bother him.
156
00:05:11,788 --> 00:05:13,288
Running around like a bastard.
157
00:05:13,289 --> 00:05:15,958
You're making my point for me, Arthur.
158
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:18,560
It can't be just this.
159
00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:23,899
- Can I help you?
- Hi.
160
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:26,869
My mom makes this tea that I love.
161
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:29,304
It's kind of sweet, but not too sweet.
162
00:05:29,305 --> 00:05:31,440
So yeah, I'll have that.
163
00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:33,675
I don't know what that is.
164
00:05:33,676 --> 00:05:37,179
You know, it has a spice in
it like cinnamon or nutmeg,
165
00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:39,448
but not cinnamon
166
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:41,016
and not nutmeg.
167
00:05:41,017 --> 00:05:43,285
Do you want to call your mother?
168
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:44,653
Oh, I'm not allowed.
169
00:05:44,654 --> 00:05:46,822
That makes sense.
170
00:05:46,823 --> 00:05:48,190
Oh. (chuckles)
171
00:05:48,191 --> 00:05:49,625
It's hot chocolate.
172
00:05:52,496 --> 00:05:54,363
(cheering)
173
00:05:54,364 --> 00:05:55,597
We haven't done this in a while.
174
00:05:55,598 --> 00:05:56,865
It's fun watching the game at the bar.
175
00:05:56,866 --> 00:05:58,433
Yeah, and to be honest
I don't really miss
176
00:05:58,434 --> 00:06:01,203
the woman who gave birth
to us or her male companion.
177
00:06:01,204 --> 00:06:03,839
Sean, we're allowed
to say "Mom" and "Dad".
178
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:04,940
I wasn't sure.
179
00:06:04,941 --> 00:06:06,475
There were a lot of
rules being thrown around.
180
00:06:06,476 --> 00:06:08,210
Nope.
181
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:09,311
Excuse me.
182
00:06:09,312 --> 00:06:10,779
Do you mind moving back a little?
183
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:13,282
Sorry, I got to be close
enough to hit a bug on the TV.
184
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:15,150
Is there a bug on the TV?
185
00:06:15,151 --> 00:06:16,952
"Is there a bug on the TV?"
186
00:06:16,953 --> 00:06:18,420
This guy's crazy.
187
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,588
Hey, buddy.
188
00:06:19,589 --> 00:06:20,689
We're trying to watch the game.
189
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:22,057
Well, then why'd he bring a book?
190
00:06:22,058 --> 00:06:23,859
'Cause we want the Celtics to win.
191
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:24,993
What's with all the questions?
192
00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:26,428
What are we, on a date?
193
00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:33,802
I'm Nancy O'Dell, and tonight,
194
00:06:33,803 --> 00:06:35,537
Entertainment
Tonight visits the set
195
00:06:35,538 --> 00:06:39,074
of what's about to become the
latest binge watchers' treat.
196
00:06:39,075 --> 00:06:41,944
Tonight, Netflix is
releasing all six episodes
197
00:06:41,945 --> 00:06:44,513
of its hot new procedural,
Mom & Tom.
198
00:06:44,514 --> 00:06:45,781
By day,
199
00:06:45,782 --> 00:06:47,549
they're mother and gay son,
200
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:51,153
by night, they're mother
and gay son who solve crimes.
201
00:06:51,154 --> 00:06:52,888
Shut up!
202
00:06:52,889 --> 00:06:54,456
So grab your favorite
TV watching buddy...
203
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,291
I can't, Nancy O'Dell.
204
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:58,594
And start singing along,
'cause guess what, folks?
205
00:06:58,595 --> 00:07:00,128
It's also a musical.
206
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,363
Oh, come on!
207
00:07:01,364 --> 00:07:04,600
Oh, come on! This Mom & Tom show,
208
00:07:04,601 --> 00:07:07,469
it's perfect for me and Ronny.
209
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,238
Emma Thompson is playing me.
210
00:07:09,239 --> 00:07:10,372
I mean Mom.
211
00:07:10,373 --> 00:07:13,475
Why did the kids have
to make that stupid bet?
212
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,843
It's just a show.
213
00:07:14,844 --> 00:07:16,511
You're obsessed with TV.
214
00:07:16,512 --> 00:07:18,247
I'm obsessed with TV?
215
00:07:18,248 --> 00:07:19,581
I caught you hugging it once.
216
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:21,049
Shh. I'm trying to watch this.
217
00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:22,885
It's a commercial.
218
00:07:22,886 --> 00:07:24,119
A great commercial.
219
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,321
Hey, pal, you had it coming.
220
00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:28,724
You bought insurance from a monkey.
221
00:07:28,725 --> 00:07:30,292
You know what?
222
00:07:30,293 --> 00:07:32,060
The kids have their bet.
Why don't we make one, too?
223
00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:34,229
How about a $50 Dolan's gift card
224
00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:37,199
to whoever can go the
longest without watching TV?
225
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,267
All right, you're on.
226
00:07:38,268 --> 00:07:39,768
Good luck, although you're not gonna
227
00:07:39,769 --> 00:07:41,770
make it a day without your
precious insurance monkey.
228
00:07:41,771 --> 00:07:43,739
It won't be easy.
229
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:45,707
I like his tie.
230
00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,843
Well, go ahead. We've
got a lot of channels.
231
00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:49,678
I bet one of them is
showing the commercial
232
00:07:49,679 --> 00:07:53,649
where the monkey drives the boat.
233
00:07:54,451 --> 00:07:57,052
Come on, Marjorie, play fair.
234
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:02,724
Hey, Ronny.
235
00:08:02,725 --> 00:08:03,959
How's the bet treating you?
236
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,294
It's actually been really good.
237
00:08:05,295 --> 00:08:06,929
I've been doing some organizing.
238
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:08,096
Caught up on some paperwork.
239
00:08:08,097 --> 00:08:09,598
I met a guy.
240
00:08:09,599 --> 00:08:11,366
Oh, sorry, tell me
about your organizing.
241
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,535
Oh, it's actually not that interesting.
242
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,337
And I made it up.
243
00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:17,406
So, this guy is cool
244
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:18,740
with you being pregnant?
245
00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,475
It didn't even come up.
246
00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:23,412
Excuse me, is this anyone sitting there?
247
00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:26,548
Nope, just me.
248
00:08:29,553 --> 00:08:32,721
So the whole time you were
with him, you never stood up.
249
00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:34,690
A gentleman stands up, Ronny.
250
00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:35,958
A lady stays seated
251
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:38,193
and holds in her pee with all her might.
252
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:40,295
Anyway, I'm meeting him
253
00:08:40,296 --> 00:08:41,697
again tomorrow.
254
00:08:41,698 --> 00:08:43,231
So you're going to keep this up forever?
255
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,467
No, only until the baby is born.
256
00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:46,969
And then,
257
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,704
he'll hold it for the first time,
258
00:08:48,705 --> 00:08:50,539
and he'll fall in love
with our little family.
259
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:51,807
I've thought this through, Ronny.
260
00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:52,607
(knocking)
261
00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:55,177
Ronny, Jackie.
262
00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:56,979
What are you guys doing here?
263
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,313
Checking up on our bet.
264
00:08:58,314 --> 00:09:01,116
Making sure Romeo and
Juliet aren't together.
265
00:09:02,152 --> 00:09:04,586
More like Romeo and Romeo's mother.
266
00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:06,888
Also a forbidden love.
267
00:09:06,889 --> 00:09:09,491
You guys checking up on me, too?
268
00:09:09,492 --> 00:09:11,259
Yeah, sure.
269
00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,795
So, how's your mom withdrawals going?
270
00:09:13,796 --> 00:09:15,430
You got the shakes, Ronny?
271
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:16,498
Sweats?
272
00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:18,033
Nightmares?
273
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:21,670
No sweats, no shakes, and one nightmare.
274
00:09:21,671 --> 00:09:22,904
But it wasn't Mom-related.
275
00:09:22,905 --> 00:09:24,072
It was about Little League.
276
00:09:24,073 --> 00:09:26,241
They made me pitch.
277
00:09:28,178 --> 00:09:30,145
But I'm doing great.
278
00:09:30,146 --> 00:09:31,279
Are you?
279
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,614
'Cause guess what?
280
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,750
Katrina and I were arguing
about a fight we had,
281
00:09:34,751 --> 00:09:36,351
and she threw this magazine at me.
282
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:38,687
And lo and behold,
283
00:09:38,688 --> 00:09:40,922
I found an article in
here about a new show
284
00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:43,658
that's perfect for
you and your best gal.
285
00:09:43,659 --> 00:09:45,327
Ha, your best gal.
286
00:09:45,328 --> 00:09:48,163
That's an antiquated way
of saying you're dating Ma.
287
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,967
I am familiar with Mom & Tom.
288
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:55,170
In fact, it's paused
on my TV as we speak.
289
00:09:55,171 --> 00:09:57,572
Right at the moment when
Mom and Tom having finished
290
00:09:57,573 --> 00:09:59,808
a song called "Get A Clue, Mom. "
291
00:10:00,744 --> 00:10:01,877
It's terrible.
292
00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:04,046
And also the best.
293
00:10:04,047 --> 00:10:06,214
Okay, maybe you can watch it alone.
294
00:10:06,215 --> 00:10:09,384
But you're gonna need to
talk to someone about it.
295
00:10:09,385 --> 00:10:10,419
Yeah.
296
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:12,220
Maybe even Ma.
297
00:10:12,956 --> 00:10:14,089
Sean, you're starting to make me
298
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,791
regret this alliance.
299
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:18,560
Look, why don't you all just go...
300
00:10:18,561 --> 00:10:21,196
lie to a man, or fight
with your fianc?e,
301
00:10:21,197 --> 00:10:25,333
or amble through life
with peculiar ease.
302
00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,637
But know this:
303
00:10:28,638 --> 00:10:30,038
You're all gonna lose the bet.
304
00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:31,840
Because I am strong,
305
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,008
and independent,
306
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:36,578
and I may never see
Mom and Dad ever again.
307
00:10:36,579 --> 00:10:37,846
(chuckles)
308
00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,047
I thought they'd never leave.
309
00:10:39,048 --> 00:10:40,582
Unpause, Unpause!
310
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,818
(laughter)
311
00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:48,457
TOM:
So get a clue, Mom!
312
00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:50,892
MOM: I'll get a clue
if you get in the van.
313
00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:52,227
They're getting away!
314
00:10:52,228 --> 00:10:54,863
I know what we're gonna
be for Halloween this year.
315
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,600
I'm Tom. I'm Mom.
316
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,860
Well, (laughs awkwardly)
317
00:11:10,861 --> 00:11:14,297
I'm going out.
318
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,567
Uh, if you're wondering where,
I'm getting my nails done.
319
00:11:17,568 --> 00:11:20,670
And later, if you're wondering
why my nails aren't polished,
320
00:11:20,671 --> 00:11:22,372
it's because I got a buff.
321
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:24,474
And, yes, you got me,
322
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,075
I've never gotten a buff before.
323
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:27,343
I'm not really a buff person.
324
00:11:27,344 --> 00:11:28,811
I've always wanted to try a buff,
325
00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:30,947
and I think I've earned
it. I've earned a buff.
326
00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,148
Okay.
327
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,583
I'm actually going out, too.
328
00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:35,652
You? Out there?
329
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,287
I'm going to a play.
330
00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:39,022
A play? You said you would
331
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:41,024
never set foot in a theater again
332
00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:43,293
after Ronny dragged
us to that improv show.
333
00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:45,461
They asked for a suggestion of a place
334
00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:47,630
and you yelled out, "Anywhere but here. "
335
00:11:47,631 --> 00:11:50,133
One of the kids on my
team is in this play.
336
00:11:50,134 --> 00:11:51,267
It's called Pippin.
337
00:11:51,268 --> 00:11:52,802
I figured it'll hold my interest.
338
00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:54,537
I'm a big fan of Scottie Pippen.
339
00:11:54,538 --> 00:11:56,272
Yeah, that's what it's about.
340
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:57,407
All right, have fun.
341
00:11:57,408 --> 00:11:58,508
I will.
342
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,643
I got to say, I'm so glad you got us
343
00:12:00,644 --> 00:12:02,812
into this whole not watching TV thing.
344
00:12:02,813 --> 00:12:04,714
I think it's been good for us.
345
00:12:04,715 --> 00:12:06,082
Yes.
346
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,216
For us.
347
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:08,885
You make us better people, Marjorie.
348
00:12:08,886 --> 00:12:10,620
You do. Arthur,
349
00:12:10,621 --> 00:12:11,654
not in front of the...
350
00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:14,257
Oh, God, I miss the kids.
351
00:12:16,061 --> 00:12:18,127
(knocking)
352
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,765
Like my disguise?
353
00:12:22,766 --> 00:12:24,667
That depends. Who are you?
354
00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:25,868
(laughs)
355
00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:27,003
Mom, this sneaking around's
getting too dangerous.
356
00:12:27,004 --> 00:12:28,271
Oh, I know. I drove with these.
357
00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:30,106
Couldn't see a thing. What a rush.
358
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,177
No, I mean, we almost
got caught yesterday.
359
00:12:34,178 --> 00:12:35,411
No one's gonna catch us.
360
00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:36,612
We're too good.
361
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:39,082
- At watching a TV show?
- Yes.
362
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:40,483
And at covering our tracks.
363
00:12:40,484 --> 00:12:41,918
I just totally fooled your father.
364
00:12:41,919 --> 00:12:43,619
Good for you, Mom.
365
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:46,055
You fooled a man who once went
to a Burger King drive through
366
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,891
and yelled his order into a trash can.
367
00:12:48,892 --> 00:12:50,626
Well, I do feel kind of guilty.
368
00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:53,096
Your father's taking our
TV bet pretty seriously.
369
00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:55,798
So I told her I was going to see a play!
370
00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:57,166
(laughter)
371
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,534
Imagine Dad at a play.
372
00:12:58,535 --> 00:12:59,936
"Hey, I'm Dad.
373
00:12:59,937 --> 00:13:01,404
I'm at a play!"
374
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:04,107
(groaning) Damn it!
375
00:13:04,108 --> 00:13:05,441
How can they be losing?
376
00:13:05,442 --> 00:13:06,709
We got Dad here now.
377
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,311
We're sitting in the same configuration
378
00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,545
that we do at Ma and Dad'BBs.
379
00:13:09,546 --> 00:13:12,248
But if we were at home,
380
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,183
Dad would be reclining.
381
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,886
God, I miss that chair.
382
00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:19,989
We're gonna need you to get up. Why?
383
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,225
Look, we're all making sacrifices here.
384
00:13:22,226 --> 00:13:23,760
He's lying to our mother,
385
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,194
we're lying to our brother and sister.
386
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:27,497
The least you can do is let our dad
387
00:13:27,498 --> 00:13:29,732
put his feet up on your
chair like he's in a recliner,
388
00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:31,234
so the Celtics can win.
389
00:13:31,235 --> 00:13:32,869
It's pretty straightforward.
390
00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:36,072
Why did I come back here?
391
00:13:37,909 --> 00:13:40,443
Well, if you're feeling guilty,
maybe we shouldn't do this.
392
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:43,012
You know what, maybe you're right.
393
00:13:43,013 --> 00:13:46,149
(laughter)
394
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:47,617
(knocking)
395
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:53,689
It's Jackie! Get in the kitchen.
396
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,891
I love this.
397
00:13:57,595 --> 00:13:59,262
What are you doing here?
398
00:13:59,263 --> 00:14:00,630
Don't you have your date?
399
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,598
I'm on my way, but I left
my phone here yesterday.
400
00:14:02,599 --> 00:14:04,066
Here. Take mine.
401
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:05,334
I don't want yours.
402
00:14:05,335 --> 00:14:06,903
I want mine.
403
00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:08,037
Oh.
404
00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:09,338
Here it is.
405
00:14:09,339 --> 00:14:10,540
Where was it?
406
00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,408
In my hand... the whole time.
407
00:14:12,409 --> 00:14:13,409
Don't know why
408
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:15,244
I gave you mine. Give it back.
409
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,214
Have fun.
410
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:19,248
Wait.
411
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,917
Did I also leave a brown sweater?
412
00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:22,819
Maybe.
413
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,120
Nope.
414
00:14:24,121 --> 00:14:26,322
Oh, here it is.
415
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,959
Bye-bye.
416
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,994
- She's got a date?
- Yep.
417
00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:32,895
- Does he know...
- Nope.
418
00:14:32,896 --> 00:14:33,930
- So what's her...
- No plan.
419
00:14:33,931 --> 00:14:36,232
That'll go well. Play.
420
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,467
(knocking)
421
00:14:37,468 --> 00:14:38,601
Oh, my God. I know.
422
00:14:38,602 --> 00:14:40,269
It's exhilarating!
423
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,572
Oh, it's only Jason.
424
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,042
Hey, do you have any chairs I could...
425
00:14:46,043 --> 00:14:47,143
Oh.
426
00:14:47,144 --> 00:14:48,277
Sorry to interrupt.
427
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,479
RONNY: No.
428
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,513
You're not interrupting.
429
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,348
I really need to clear something up.
430
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,984
Hi, Jason. It's me, "the girlfriend. "
431
00:14:54,985 --> 00:14:56,786
What?! I should go.
432
00:14:56,787 --> 00:15:00,923
Ronny's just nervous because
I'm cheating on my husband.
433
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:02,458
I really should go.
434
00:15:02,459 --> 00:15:04,060
Wait, Jason, let me explain this.
435
00:15:04,061 --> 00:15:05,995
She is not my girlfriend.
436
00:15:05,996 --> 00:15:08,231
- It's cool.
- Wait, no. Don't say "it's cool. "
437
00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:09,599
No, it sounds like you don't believe me.
438
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,633
See you at your party!
439
00:15:10,634 --> 00:15:11,767
- Mom!
- What?
440
00:15:11,768 --> 00:15:12,869
I can go now.
441
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,003
I moved some things around.
442
00:15:14,004 --> 00:15:15,137
So come watch.
443
00:15:15,138 --> 00:15:16,472
No, I'm telling you.
444
00:15:16,473 --> 00:15:17,573
We can't do this here.
445
00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:18,674
We got Jackie coming over,
446
00:15:18,675 --> 00:15:20,443
Sean and Gerard are checking up on me.
447
00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:22,044
Fine. We can go back to the hub.
448
00:15:22,045 --> 00:15:23,746
- The hub?
- My house.
449
00:15:24,249 --> 00:15:25,281
Spokes go out,
450
00:15:25,282 --> 00:15:26,349
they come back to the middle?
451
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:28,784
Why is no one getting this?
452
00:15:28,785 --> 00:15:30,086
We can't go to the hub.
453
00:15:30,087 --> 00:15:33,689
Why not? And thank you
for supporting "hub. "
454
00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:35,291
What about Dad?
455
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:36,292
Oh, don't worry.
456
00:15:36,293 --> 00:15:37,393
No, he's spending the evening
457
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,061
at the high school auditorium
458
00:15:39,062 --> 00:15:40,997
wondering why Michael Jordan
459
00:15:40,998 --> 00:15:43,332
isn't a character in Pippin.
460
00:15:53,141 --> 00:15:54,306
(groaning)
461
00:15:54,307 --> 00:15:56,509
Geez, they're a mess out there.
462
00:15:56,510 --> 00:15:57,943
We're doing all our stuff. I know.
463
00:15:57,944 --> 00:15:59,311
What's going on?
464
00:15:59,881 --> 00:16:01,180
What if... Maybe...
465
00:16:01,181 --> 00:16:02,281
What?
466
00:16:02,282 --> 00:16:03,382
No, say your thing.
467
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:04,750
I was gonna say,
468
00:16:04,751 --> 00:16:07,119
what if none of this stuff has
any effect on the game at all?
469
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,988
What if it's all just a
bunch of dumb superstitions?
470
00:16:08,989 --> 00:16:10,156
What were you going to say?
471
00:16:10,157 --> 00:16:12,525
I was gonna say what if we switch shoes?
472
00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:15,161
I like it.
473
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:20,700
You're so easy to talk to.
474
00:16:20,701 --> 00:16:22,101
So are you.
475
00:16:22,102 --> 00:16:24,170
I can't believe we've
been talking for two hours.
476
00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:25,705
Ooh, hey, that couch just opened up.
477
00:16:25,706 --> 00:16:26,806
You want to grab it? No, no.
478
00:16:26,807 --> 00:16:27,907
Good here.
479
00:16:27,908 --> 00:16:29,842
Can I get you another
tea? Some more water?
480
00:16:29,843 --> 00:16:31,644
Please, neither.
481
00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,913
Ooh.
482
00:16:33,914 --> 00:16:35,748
You know what, I've got
to go feed the meter.
483
00:16:35,749 --> 00:16:37,383
Uh, I parked about a block away.
484
00:16:37,384 --> 00:16:39,018
Do you mind? No, no. Take your time.
485
00:16:39,019 --> 00:16:40,152
Great, I'll be right back.
486
00:16:42,824 --> 00:16:44,090
(groans) Bathroom.
487
00:16:44,091 --> 00:16:45,257
Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom,
488
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:47,226
bathroom, bathroom, bathroom.
489
00:16:58,172 --> 00:16:59,905
Okay, let's get this over with.
490
00:16:59,906 --> 00:17:01,507
Wait. Something's not right.
491
00:17:01,508 --> 00:17:03,042
The TV set is warm.
492
00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:09,148
Eleanor Roosevelt is on our couch.
493
00:17:09,149 --> 00:17:10,549
I smell Buffalo sauce
494
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:12,551
and desperation.
495
00:17:13,988 --> 00:17:16,155
What are you thinking?
496
00:17:16,156 --> 00:17:17,723
Haven't you figured it out, Tom?
497
00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:20,326
A- ha!
498
00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:22,628
A- ha to you!
499
00:17:22,629 --> 00:17:23,662
Gerard's right, Ronny.
500
00:17:23,663 --> 00:17:24,630
You're busted.
501
00:17:24,631 --> 00:17:26,465
Wait, why are you walking like that?
502
00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:27,633
I'm wearing Gerard's shoes.
503
00:17:27,634 --> 00:17:29,368
I'm bursting out of
these little teacups.
504
00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:31,270
They're a men's nine.
505
00:17:31,271 --> 00:17:32,538
They're a doll's nine.
506
00:17:33,441 --> 00:17:34,440
Why are you turning on me?
507
00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:35,441
Turn on Ronny.
508
00:17:35,442 --> 00:17:37,076
Why? You guys are both busted.
509
00:17:37,077 --> 00:17:39,145
No, we're just in Mom and Dad's place,
510
00:17:39,146 --> 00:17:40,412
but you're with Mom.
511
00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:41,747
He's right, Ronny.
512
00:17:41,748 --> 00:17:44,383
They're not with him.
513
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:46,719
Hey, Marjorie.
514
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,120
Just taking a walk.
515
00:17:48,121 --> 00:17:49,455
Behind the curtains?
516
00:17:49,456 --> 00:17:51,924
I get self-conscious
when I'm exercising.
517
00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:53,893
Arthur. Fine.
518
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:57,129
Sean and Gerard figured out that
we have to watch the game here.
519
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:58,531
What was I thinking?
520
00:17:58,532 --> 00:17:59,932
A play? Outside the house?
521
00:17:59,933 --> 00:18:01,267
Come on, Marjorie.
522
00:18:01,268 --> 00:18:02,902
You're better than that.
523
00:18:02,903 --> 00:18:04,904
So, all of us lost our bets.
524
00:18:04,905 --> 00:18:07,540
Who knew Jackie would be the strong one?
525
00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:08,707
Mom? Dad?
526
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:10,609
I'm not seeing you, I just need to know
527
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:11,811
if you have any croutons,
528
00:18:11,812 --> 00:18:14,380
and if so, do you have any salad?
529
00:18:15,249 --> 00:18:17,016
What the hell?!
530
00:18:17,017 --> 00:18:19,151
Jackie, I thought you were on your date?
531
00:18:19,152 --> 00:18:21,086
It ended early.
532
00:18:21,087 --> 00:18:22,354
And after the game,
533
00:18:22,355 --> 00:18:25,624
I actually got to meet Tom Brady.
534
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:26,559
Eh.
535
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,527
What?
536
00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:29,962
We'll, I'm, uh, I'm from New York.
537
00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:32,131
I'm a Jets fan, so I don't
really love Tom Brady.
538
00:18:33,334 --> 00:18:35,234
So when were you planning
on telling me this?
539
00:18:35,235 --> 00:18:37,469
- Excuse me?
- Wow.
540
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,438
What else are you
hiding from me, Andrew?
541
00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:41,841
Besides the fact that you're a liar?
542
00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:44,777
And I told you everything.
543
00:18:44,778 --> 00:18:46,512
Are you pregnant?
544
00:18:46,513 --> 00:18:49,048
You never ask a lady that.
545
00:18:49,049 --> 00:18:51,784
You never ask a lady that!
546
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,552
Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom,
547
00:18:53,553 --> 00:18:56,055
bathroom, bathroom, bathroom!
548
00:18:56,056 --> 00:18:57,756
Can you believe him?
549
00:18:57,757 --> 00:19:01,093
Yeah, how is Crazy Andrew
ever going to find someone?
550
00:19:01,094 --> 00:19:04,129
Probably an online
dating site for Jets fans.
551
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:08,534
Ugh, the Internet's disgusting.
552
00:19:08,535 --> 00:19:09,768
Wait, wait, so wait,
553
00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:11,537
what are you all doing here?
554
00:19:11,538 --> 00:19:12,638
A lot's gone down.
555
00:19:12,639 --> 00:19:14,607
It might be easier if I sing it to you.
556
00:19:14,608 --> 00:19:15,841
Give me a beat.
557
00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:17,543
I will not.
558
00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:20,412
Ronny was cheating with Ma on our bet.
559
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,414
Sean and Gerard were cheating with Dad.
560
00:19:22,415 --> 00:19:25,551
But no one wanted to cheat with me.
561
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,187
Oh, my God.
562
00:19:28,188 --> 00:19:29,288
Oh, Jackie, we...
563
00:19:29,289 --> 00:19:30,656
I'm the winner!
564
00:19:32,026 --> 00:19:34,526
We salute you, winner!
565
00:19:35,396 --> 00:19:36,962
Thanks, you guys.
566
00:19:36,963 --> 00:19:38,130
All right, come on, Ronny.
567
00:19:38,131 --> 00:19:39,465
We better hustle if we're gonna make it
568
00:19:39,466 --> 00:19:40,499
to Jason's party.
569
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,835
Mom!
570
00:19:42,836 --> 00:19:45,037
Wait for me.
571
00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:49,441
It was thoughtful of you
572
00:19:49,442 --> 00:19:51,343
to spend your gift card on us, Jackie.
573
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:53,279
I'm happy to. You're my favorite people.
574
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,080
Well, I like you people,
too, but it was cool
575
00:19:55,081 --> 00:19:56,582
getting out of our comfort zone.
576
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:57,583
Yeah, he's right.
577
00:19:57,584 --> 00:19:59,852
Yeah, we should do more of that.
578
00:20:00,821 --> 00:20:02,788
This does feel different.
579
00:20:02,789 --> 00:20:03,756
Good for us.
580
00:20:03,757 --> 00:20:05,224
Yeah, we shook things up.
581
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:06,792
Well, we didn't shake things up.
582
00:20:06,793 --> 00:20:09,328
We're just in my apartment
instead of Mom and Dad's.
583
00:20:09,329 --> 00:20:10,596
I don't like it.
584
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,598
What's wrong with your TV?
585
00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:13,999
Nothing.
586
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,768
It's just a little smaller than yours.
587
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,674
Much better. Definitely.
588
00:20:21,675 --> 00:20:23,475
This feels right.
589
00:20:23,476 --> 00:20:24,643
We'll never leave again.
590
00:20:24,644 --> 00:20:27,313
They always come back to the hub.
591
00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:29,415
I don't think hub's gonna stick, Mom.
592
00:20:29,416 --> 00:20:31,995
- Oh, like a wheel?
- And we're the spokes.
593
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:33,807
And this is the center. I like it.
594
00:20:33,808 --> 00:20:36,297
They always come back to the hub.
595
00:20:36,298 --> 00:20:40,813
Sync and corrections by: kDragon
www.Addic7ed.com
596
00:20:40,863 --> 00:20:45,413
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40368
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