All language subtitles for The McCarthys s01e12 Engagement Party.eng

ANNOUNCER (over TV):
And here's the kick.

Hey, guys.

Guess what... my baby just...

- Shh!
- Hold on.

It's got the distance.

It's good!

- What a kick.
- Amazing.

Best kick ever.

What'd your baby do?

It kicked.

Second best kick ever?

Oh, it's so exciting, Jackie.

That baby will be here any minute.

And pretty soon it'll
be walking and driving

and going off to college,
and in the blink of an eye,

they're sitting on
the couch all the time.

Do you guys want to feel it?

- Oh, there it is.
- Yeah.

So cool.

I'm getting nothing.

Ronny, poke it and send it this way.

Really? You're gonna
make the baby come to you?

Power move.

I don't go to babies. Babies come to me.

Oh, there it is.

I own you.

Dad, how about you?

Uh, if you're going to the
kitchen, I'll have another beer.

No, do you want to feel the baby?

Uh... beer's good.

Dad is not excited about the baby.

Of course he is.

Why wouldn't he be?

I don't know... I'm single,

the baby's a product
of a one-night stand

with his assistant
coach, who is now dead.

Jackie.

You're reaching.

You know what, though?

I'm excited.

Thanks, Ma.

But I was hoping it might be something

that Dad and I could bond over.

I mean, let's face it,
we're not that close.

Jackie, your dad and I are very close.

Trust me, you're not missing much.

KATRINA: Hi, McCarthys!

Oh, no, it's Katrina.

Quick, out the back.

KATRINA: Hi, Marjorie
and Jackie in the kitchen!

Hi, Katrina!

We gotta board this up.

Wow, I thought you guys would
be reading books or exercising.

(snickers) Just kidding.

I know all you do is watch TV.

Ah, she got us.

And we've got her.

So I've got this.

So, Gerard, did you
tell the fun bunch here

E' what the dress code is
for the engagement party?

No one even knows what "smart
casual" is. Do you guys know?

Oh, yeah, 'cause this is the latest
season of Project Runway.

So, Katrina, it's nice of your mom

to host everyone at the party.

Well, she got a discount on the boat

once I told them about my dad.

Oh, right.

How he ran off.

No, how he went missing.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

That's what happened.

Eight years.

Still no leads, huh?

Well, some Internet
prankster claimed they saw him

dancing on a bar in the Bahamas.

Yeah, but that guy had a
tattoo that said "freedom. "

And my dad didn't have any tattoos.

GERARD: All right,

we got to get out of here.

Me and my girl got to go talk
about a bunch of nonsense.

You're a bunch of nonsense.

You're a bunch of hot nonsense.

ARTHUR: Hey.

Other side of the door.

All right.

Later, dinks.

You know why she's having
this party on a boat, right?

So none of us can flee to the Bahamas,

singing songs of freedom.

Okay, so we say a quick
hello, and then we throw out,

"Wow, big boat.

Hope we see you again at this party. "

And then... boom, out, later, suckers.

Are you kidding me?

Free food, open bar.

This is literally how I picture Heaven.

Well, I'm gonna go scope out the scene.

Put my new haircut to work for me.

You got a haircut?

I know it's subtle.

I didn't want it to change too much,

so I showed the guy a
picture of me from last week.

- Hey, haircut?
- Yep.

I liked it better before.

Wow, look at you guys.

Your couch must be mystified
as to where everyone went.

I'm kidding.

Welcome or whatever.

Wow, big boat.

Hope we see you again at this party.

Hey, Ma, this is Gerard's family.

Oh...

Oh, my God.

My friend Stacy wore
the same dress as me.

Hey, Stacy!

Get off the boat!

You have a very brave son.

It'll be difficult for me

to hand over my little gem to him.

- Are you saying...?
- Your son's a hero, that's all I'll say.

If you'll excuse me,

I think I should go
give poor Stacy cab fare.

I like her.

Ooh, pigs in a blanket.

(whistles)

Over here.

Sorry, we're not serving these yet.

I'm just setting up the buffet.

But the thing is... I already saw it.

Even still.

Dad, I got this.

Do you mind if I just have a couple?

I'm pregnant.

Oh, of course.

Help yourself.

I would, but I feel rude
eating in front of my dad.

Go ahead.

Nice job.

Wow, big boat.

Hope I see you again at this party.

Thanks for driving me to the party.

- Happy to.
- But what's the deal?

Do you not have a gas pedal,
or do you not have a right foot?

I have both, but I
also have an awareness

that an automobile is a
three-ton deadly weapon.

And I have an awareness
that we just got passed

by a lady in a wheelchair.

I would look to see if that's
true were it safe to do so.

Kumquats.

I forgot the kumquats.

I'm supposed to bring
them for the "Ger-trinis. "

The Ger-trinis?

Is that a signature cocktail

or some fruit-loving Italian friends?

Okay, good joke, wrong time.

Ronny, focus... I have a problem here.

And that wasn't a good joke.

Okay, here's the deal,
we still have 20 minutes.

We can hit Whole
Foods, grab the kumquats

and still make it
before the boat leaves.

The way you drive? I'd be better off..

(tires screeching) Oh!

Ronny, now you're talking.

Hey, driving fast is fun.

I'm out of control.

You know what? When
we get to Whole Foods,

we're just grabbing the
first 30 kumquats we see.

We're not even squeezing
them for ripeness.

God, I've never felt more alive!

Oh, you take it. I'll get the next one.

What if there isn't a next one?

There's a whole stack of them.

You know it's a good boat

when they don't skimp
on the paper products.

This one's yours.

Oh, thank you.

You got nice manners.

In high school, I was
voted second best manners.

I wrote a really nice
note to the guy who won.

(chuckles)

My name is Lydia. And yours?

No, mine's Sean.

Ma, I've been looking
everywhere for you.

Sweetie, I've been right here.

I certainly would not
be hiding from you.

Well, Gerard's still not on the boat.

Sean, where is your brother?

Can't you reach him with your
weird psychic twin powers?

Not when one of us is on
land and the other's on water.

Doesn't work.

(laughs)

Ma, that's not funny! (groans)

It was a sympathy laugh.

It wasn't, it wasn't...
that was a real tickler.

So you're Gerard's brother.

Yeah, that's how we met.

And you're Katrina's mom.

Lovely daughter.

Oh, thank you.

She's a nightmare.

Even if I agreed with you, and I do,

it would be rude to say so.

Wait, so your husband's missing.

That's true. How long now?

Eight years.

Consecutive?

(laughs)

Ooh, I like you.

You're fun.

I'm gonna take that as a compliment.

Are you flirting with me?

Why do you ask?

Because if not,

this is a really bizarre conversation.

Who says it can't be both?

We're here. We made it.

Oh, thank God. They
made it, Cap'n Crunch!

Let's go already!

Where are you?

I'm right at the entrance

to the banquet room. Where are you?

We're at the entrance
to the banquet room.

Right near the sign that says...

"Mazel tov on your Bar Mitzvah. "

What the hell?

I got on the wrong boat!

He got on the wrong boat!

He got on the wrong boat!

What do you mean, there's
nothing you can do?

My fianc? got on the wrong boat.

I could watch this all night.

Well, why can't you turn around?

I'm sorry, these ships
have prescribed routes

we have to stick to,
unless it's an emergency.

It is an emergency!

(groans with frustration)

It's not an emergency.

Full steam ahead.

I'm so sorry, babe.

The boats looked exactly alike, and...

You know, I blame Ronny.

Wow, greetings from under the bus.

You talk to the captain?

There's nothing he can do.
I even talked to the deejay,

but he threw his hands in the
air like he just didn't care.

Kumquat?

More bad news... they're
definitely not ripe.

We should have squeezed them.

You know what, I will have one.

So, who are you, Sean McCarthy?

You just answered your own question.

What makes you tick?

Well, I love basketball,
and I love the ladies.

Ironically, not a big fan of the WNBA.

Well, nobody is.

(both chuckling)

So, what about you?

Who are you?

Well, I'm a Taurus,
I'm very passionate...

No, I mean I forgot your name.

(laughing)

Okay.

This can either be
remembered as the night

that you ruined your engagement party,

or as the night that you
and I got really drunk

at Owen Berkowitz's Bar Mitzvah.

What's it gonna be?

Two vodka shots.

Oh, vodka?

I was thinking Chablis.

That's right.

Your bro can throw them down.

Sorry, I need this.

Also vodka.

Mm-hmm, mmm.

Oh, they're, uh...

they're gonna Photoshop Gerard in later.

Tell me wherC#e his cheek will be,

and I'll kiss it.

Are you guys starting to feel bad?

Yeah, but we're powering through it.

No.

I mean for Katrina.

When she's happy and annoying,
it's so easy to hate her.

But when she's sad, she
almost resembles a real person.

I'm starting to feel sorry for her.

Ma, that's really nice.

I know, maybe some
whiskey will get rid of it.

You guys want to say something
to the Bar Mitzvah boy?

Yeah, we do!

Damn straight.

Hey, Owen, it's your Uncle Saul.

And your Uncle Gerard.

We know everybody's been
giving you money or gift cards,

but your uncles know
what you really want.

Kumquats.

Let them ripen, and Mazel tov.

Yeah, 'cause we're Jewish.

Thanks. We're good.

Thanks, Ronny.

You really turned this
thing around for me.

So, listen,

now that Katrina's gonna be family,

you guys should spend
more time together.

Oh, no.

The amount of time we spend
together now is perfect.

I think we're nailing it.

Yeah, but the thing is...

when you get to know someone better,

hopefully, you get to like 'em.

Even if initially you
found them, you know,

kind of hard to take.

Oh, but I already think Katrina's great.

I like her

bunches and bunches.

I'm talking about the
way she feels about you.

Okay, you are drunk, my brother.

You won't believe what you just said.

You said Katrina does not like me.

(laughing)

She doesn't like you.

Wait, what?

You know what, forget I said anything.

Uh, I-I mean, it's a Bar Mitzvah.

It's a time for joy.

L'chaim!

No.

No Chaim.

Okay, this is crazy.

What about me doesn't she like?

You can say it.

I know. I'm trying to remember them all.

All?

How many are there?

Nine.

All right, here we go.

Your sense of humor.

What's wrong with my sense of humor?

She thinks you should get one.

Oh, really?

Well, does she know that Joan
from my work once called me

a male Ellen DeGeneres?

She also thinks you're
shrill, which I don't get.

She thinks you part your
hair on the wrong side.

It wants to go this way.

Ooh, now I'm hearing the shrill.

Beautiful night.

Yes, it is.

Am I not talking loud enough?

No, I was just kind of
hoping you might kiss me.

I was hoping I might, too.

Am I not talking loud enough?

I want you to kiss me.

I can't.

Why not?

Oh.

Is it 'cause if it ever got serious,

you'd be your brother's
stepfather-in-law?

No. I love Gerard.

He's a great brother.

And he'd be a hell of a stepson.

But I have a strict rule
about never starting something

with a woman whose husband is missing.

Does that come up a lot?

More than you'd think.

I had to make the rule.

Sean, I-I don't think he's coming back.

But he could.

And you could still
have feelings for him.

And that would crush me.

'Cause you're a great gal, Lydia.

Thanks, Sean.

Just know this...

if my husband turns up dead,

you'll be the first person I call.

Probably second or third.

You got to make all the
funeral arrangements and such.

Wow,

romantic and practical.

You got me rooting for dead.

You're oversensitive,
you're sarcastic.

You act like you're the only person
who's ever seen Homeland.

You're pretentious.

When have I ever been pretentious?

You once appeared in a dream of hers

and started speaking French.

Oh, that's fair. Sarcastic.

You know what?

And get ready for this.

I don't care for Katrina.

Hmm, wow.

That would actually mean something

if you hadn't just said you
like her "bunches and bunches. "

I was just trying to
spare your feelings.

Ronny, I get it.

You like someone, they
don't like you back.

It hurts.

You lash out.

That's not what's happening here.

This is like...

Ugh, if only you
watched Homeland,

I could explain this to you perfectly.

Hey, Marj.

Oh, hi. Hey.

Didn't see you standing there.

Having fun?

Yeah, it's a blast.

I planned this party for
months, and it's ruined.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Guests seem to be enjoying themselves.

I mean, who has an engagement
party without their fianc??

It's a disaster. Oh, I wouldn't...

Marj, don't lie to me. People
are saying "catastrophe. "

They're right.

I'm sorry it didn't go how you hoped.

Yeah. Right about now, we were
supposed to be doing the dance

we've been practicing forever.

Gerard was gonna dance?

Oh, he just swings me around and stuff.

It was really just a
showcase for my skills.

It's always been a dream of mine

to dance on a boat at
my engagement party.

Always? Well, since we booked the boat.

I was really looking forward to it.

Come with me.

Where are we going?

If I say it out loud,
I'm gonna rethink it.

(splashes)

("Brick House" by the Commodores begins)

-
She's a brick... house - Shake it.

Marj, you were perfect
in the dance tonight.

You saved the party.

Oh, you're exaggerating.

I mean, I was perfect, but
nothing could save that party.

Hey, listen.

Uh, I know I razz you a lot

and you zing me back,
but I got to admit,

sometimes I worry that
your zings are actual slams.

Or even worse... burns.

Katrina, if you heard
me say I'd burn you,

it was taken out of context.

No, no, I know, I'm just saying that,

after what you did tonight,

I know I never have to
question how you feel about me.

You love me, Marj.

Oh, I wouldn't say...

And I love you!

Oh, Ronny, that's got
to be hard to watch.

She loves Ma, yet does not care for you.

Oh, Ger-bear.

Why did no one help me?

I'm so sorry. Oh...

Excuse me, Katrina?

Yeah.

I've got something to say

in my normal... not shrill... voice

from under my correctly parted hair.

I don't like you.

What is this?

(chuckles) Don't worry.

He already told me he loves
you "bunches and bunches. "

But he's been doing this joke

where he pretends he doesn't like you.

Huh. Okay, well, that's sort of funny.

I mean, it's weird,

and he's not naturally a funny person,

but, you know what,

I'll take sort of funny
over shrill any day.

It's not a joke.

I don't like you.

(imitates alarm) Shrill alert!

All right, Ger-bear,
let's get out of here.

SEAN: I'm leaving, too.

I'll go with you guys, make
sure you get home safely.

- What?- Now, put your coat
on. It's chilly out there.

What are you, my dad?

If she only knew.

Can you believe it?

Not only does Katrina not like me,

she refuses to believe I don't like her.

Ronny, I just realized something.

She thinks you're joking, she
thinks I'm zing-burning her.

So now we can say whatever we want.

Ronny, this is a gift!

Let's use it.

I don't care for you!

KATRINA: Good one, Ron!

Go to hell, Katrina!

KATRINA: Zing!

I really like our gift.

We're gonna use it a lot.

I was proud of you tonight.

You ate like a pig.

Thanks, Dad.

I was eating for two.

You were eating for six.

Barely able to keep up with you.

I hope, one day,

you'll tell little Katie
about the fun we had tonight.

Katie?

Eh, I'm picturing a girl.

That's what I call her.

Hmm. Wow.

I was getting the feeling you
weren't excited about the baby.

I mean, the other day,
when it kicked, you just...

Oh, yeah, that was gross.

Look, Jackie, I'm old-fashioned.

Before they're born,

there's a lot of lady stuff.

But once little Katie's
on the outside...

(clicks tongue) Oh, man.

Katie.

Kind of like that.

What if it's a boy?

I'm thinking Patrick.

No, I don't think so.

I'm thinking Arthur.

Well, you can get out of here,

or you can stay and watch me cry.

Here, Dad.

Sync and corrections by: kDragon
www.Addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0