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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,100
So, Julie, what do you
think of New York?
2
00:00:03,994 --> 00:00:06,760
Well, so far all I've seen is
the airport,
3
00:00:06,668 --> 00:00:09,602
my hotel and... Your bedroom.
4
00:00:09,503 --> 00:00:11,236
Ah, you're not missing much.
5
00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:13,691
New York's a pretty quiet town
on weekends.
6
00:00:13,611 --> 00:00:17,444
So, do I have to give you
a smooth line now,
7
00:00:17,305 --> 00:00:20,138
or can I just go in for
a kiss?
8
00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,677
I'd like the smooth line.
9
00:00:21,636 --> 00:00:24,602
That was the smooth line.
10
00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:27,697
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
11
00:00:27,654 --> 00:00:29,420
CHARLIE:
Leave a message.
12
00:00:29,374 --> 00:00:30,641
[BEEPS]
13
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:33,282
Charlie, it's the mayor.
I can't sleep.
14
00:00:33,195 --> 00:00:36,062
I tried counting sheep,
but I got confused.
15
00:00:35,966 --> 00:00:38,632
What's the plural,
"sheep" or "sheeps"?
16
00:00:38,545 --> 00:00:42,812
Oh, I'll just stick to one
and have it jump up and down.
17
00:00:42,654 --> 00:00:44,086
Where are you anyway?
18
00:00:44,054 --> 00:00:46,488
Oh, I remember... you've got
that woman in town.
19
00:00:46,411 --> 00:00:49,510
What was it you called her?
Ah, damn, I can't remember.
20
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:50,704
Well, see you tomorrow.
21
00:00:50,678 --> 00:00:54,378
"Sweetheart."
I called you "sweetheart."
22
00:00:54,244 --> 00:00:56,244
"The sure thing."
23
00:00:59,307 --> 00:01:04,241
Ah, I wish I could be you
right now.
24
00:01:29,942 --> 00:01:32,809
Okay, everyone, listen up.
We got a problem.
25
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:34,047
The mayor's got insomnia.
26
00:01:34,019 --> 00:01:36,752
And last night he called me and
ruined my date with Julie.
27
00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:38,129
"Sure thing" Julie?
28
00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:42,761
She's been downgraded
to "sweetheart" Julie.
29
00:01:42,585 --> 00:01:44,051
Has he tried sleeping
pills?
30
00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:46,251
He can't mix them
with scotch.
31
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:48,483
Why doesn't he
stop drinking scotch?
32
00:01:48,413 --> 00:01:51,779
I don't need you kidding around.
This is a serious issue!
33
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:53,361
Maybe I can help.
34
00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:56,683
You know,
I suffer from insomnia.
35
00:01:56,565 --> 00:02:00,364
Staying up all night looking at
Internet porn is not insomnia.
36
00:02:00,227 --> 00:02:01,861
Oh, thank God!
37
00:02:01,819 --> 00:02:05,953
I thought I had a problem.
38
00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:08,667
You know who could put the mayor
to sleep? Carter.
39
00:02:08,571 --> 00:02:10,638
Why, because he's smarter
than all of us?
40
00:02:10,576 --> 00:02:12,943
No, 'cause he's boring.
41
00:02:12,869 --> 00:02:15,370
Carter is not available today.
He's with Spencer...
42
00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:17,257
the kid from his "little
brother" program.
43
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,666
Aw, man, he's gonna
be hanging around.
44
00:02:19,589 --> 00:02:21,389
What have you got
against Spencer?
45
00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:24,440
Nothing, I never know what to say to him.
It's always so awkward.
46
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:27,400
I don't have that problem.
Teenage boys respond to me.
47
00:02:27,295 --> 00:02:30,328
I guess they think I'm cool
and have a fun personality.
48
00:02:30,224 --> 00:02:31,991
Oh, yeah.
49
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:35,944
That's what they're
responding to.
50
00:02:35,797 --> 00:02:38,131
Ah, Spencer's on his way up!
I'm so excited.
51
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:41,159
His mom's out of town, so he's
staying with us for a few days.
52
00:02:41,052 --> 00:02:42,218
Which reminds me...
53
00:02:42,198 --> 00:02:44,732
tell that kid to keep
his mitts off my stuff.
54
00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:47,150
Every time I go to look
through my telescope
55
00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:50,037
it's pointed at the sky.
56
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,570
I was afraid I wouldn't be able
to relate to today's youth,
57
00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:54,784
but as it turns out,
I'm hipper than I thought.
58
00:02:54,713 --> 00:02:55,813
Greetings,
all.
59
00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:57,096
Ah, Spencer.
60
00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:59,037
Interesting weather
we've been having.
61
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,380
The mist lingering
over the city
62
00:03:00,349 --> 00:03:02,549
is reminiscent
of dickensian London.
63
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,549
Kids today.
They're crazy!
64
00:03:05,445 --> 00:03:08,912
Hey, Spencer, it's really nice
to see you again.
65
00:03:10,954 --> 00:03:12,921
Come on, Spencer,
we're going to be late
66
00:03:12,864 --> 00:03:14,864
for your personal tour
of the guggenheim.
67
00:03:14,807 --> 00:03:18,307
We've got to be there, or be the product
of a number multiplied by itself.
68
00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:19,850
That would be a square...
69
00:03:19,807 --> 00:03:21,807
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
70
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,930
So, did you hear
senator Davis
71
00:03:28,883 --> 00:03:30,948
is looking for a new
press secretary?
72
00:03:30,889 --> 00:03:32,889
Rumor has it
I'm on the short list.
73
00:03:32,831 --> 00:03:34,632
Why would they hire you?
74
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:37,849
You never show up on time,
you're abrasive,
75
00:03:37,736 --> 00:03:39,936
and you steal
office supplies.
76
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:44,336
Stuart, Stuart, Stuart...
They don't know that.
77
00:03:45,633 --> 00:03:48,165
Sir, we hear you're having a
hard time getting to sleep.
78
00:03:48,085 --> 00:03:49,452
We may be able to help you.
79
00:03:49,422 --> 00:03:53,355
One of the most common causes
of sleep disorders is anxiety.
80
00:03:53,212 --> 00:03:55,178
Why would I have anxiety?
81
00:03:55,123 --> 00:03:57,156
Well, as mayor, you have
the hopes and dreams
82
00:03:57,097 --> 00:03:59,763
of millions of people hanging
on your every decision.
83
00:03:59,676 --> 00:04:02,910
Oh, great, now I'm never
gonna get to sleep.
84
00:04:04,421 --> 00:04:06,588
I have a method that's
always worked for me.
85
00:04:06,523 --> 00:04:09,189
Tonight,
try listening to this.
86
00:04:09,102 --> 00:04:12,569
It's a tape I made of
soothing ocean sounds.
87
00:04:12,446 --> 00:04:14,046
Ocean sounds are soothing?
88
00:04:14,006 --> 00:04:18,906
Tell that to the poor bastards
in "the perfect storm."
89
00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:20,454
Sir, you don't need
these fancy tapes.
90
00:04:20,408 --> 00:04:23,540
I can put you to sleep
in three easy steps.
91
00:04:23,432 --> 00:04:25,565
First, close your eyes.
92
00:04:25,503 --> 00:04:27,770
Take a deep breath.
[INHALES]
93
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,266
Second step...
94
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,996
Imagine all your tensions
95
00:04:30,948 --> 00:04:33,648
draining through
your hands and feet.
96
00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:35,959
Draining...
97
00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:37,816
Draining...
98
00:04:37,763 --> 00:04:40,729
[SNORING]
99
00:04:51,264 --> 00:04:53,932
Senator Davis hasn't contacted
me about that job yet,
100
00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:56,311
and I think I have
a theory as to why.
101
00:04:56,232 --> 00:04:58,232
He's having an affair
with his secretary
102
00:04:58,175 --> 00:05:00,308
and wrote a love letter
on the back of my resume.
103
00:05:00,246 --> 00:05:03,246
Then, in an effort to conceal
all the evidence,
104
00:05:03,143 --> 00:05:06,576
he shredded it and had it buried
in a landfill in Virginia.
105
00:05:06,454 --> 00:05:10,921
Isn't it possible that they
just don't want to hire you?
106
00:05:10,754 --> 00:05:15,654
Where do you come up
with this stuff?!
107
00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:17,333
Well, I just got off
the phone with Julie.
108
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:18,848
She's leaving town tomorrow,
109
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:21,278
but she's agreed to give me
another chance tonight.
110
00:05:21,199 --> 00:05:23,932
Imagine, we were this close
to living in a world
111
00:05:23,842 --> 00:05:26,709
where Charlie Crawford goes
two days without scoring.
112
00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:29,479
Yeah. Dodged a bullet.
113
00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:32,859
The education secretary
just told me he can't
114
00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,156
come up with the funds
for the school initiative.
115
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:36,216
I gotta go meet with him.
116
00:05:36,198 --> 00:05:37,865
Can you guys keep
an eye on Spencer?
117
00:05:37,822 --> 00:05:40,822
Why, is he about
to do something?
118
00:05:40,721 --> 00:05:44,520
Charlie isn't very
good with... k-I-d-s.
119
00:05:45,974 --> 00:05:50,341
He finds they can
be very a-n-n-o...
120
00:05:50,178 --> 00:05:51,278
Y.
121
00:05:51,260 --> 00:05:53,061
...y-I-n-g.
122
00:05:53,012 --> 00:05:55,545
Thanks.
123
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,130
Charlie and I would love to.
124
00:05:57,087 --> 00:05:59,187
I'll see you at home later.
125
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,493
I told you I'm not
good with kids!
126
00:06:01,419 --> 00:06:03,185
Just try!
Make an effort!
127
00:06:07,532 --> 00:06:10,666
So, Spencer...
128
00:06:10,558 --> 00:06:12,458
What do you think
of the Yankees?
129
00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:13,972
When referencing
the civil war,
130
00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:17,701
I prefer to use the proper
historical nomenclature.
131
00:06:17,564 --> 00:06:19,230
Unionists.
132
00:06:27,945 --> 00:06:31,000
[SURF GENTLY WHOOSHES]
133
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,433
Bondek was right.This tape is relaxing.
134
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,878
Like being onthe deck of my yacht,
135
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:39,762
being fed strawberriesby Angie Dickinson.
136
00:06:39,662 --> 00:06:42,361
Young Angie Dickinson.
137
00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:45,640
Drifting back and forth.
138
00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:48,655
Drifting... Drifting...
139
00:06:48,545 --> 00:06:50,645
CARTER: Stuart,did you take my microphone?
140
00:06:50,583 --> 00:06:52,184
STUART:
I'm making a tape
141
00:06:52,144 --> 00:06:54,311
of ocean soundsfor the mayor, so shut up.
142
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,813
You shut up!
143
00:06:55,775 --> 00:06:58,775
How can I record my rehearsalif I don't have my microphone?
144
00:06:58,673 --> 00:07:02,006
Fine!I'll finish later.
145
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:04,556
Carter Heywood, c-scale,French horn.
146
00:07:04,468 --> 00:07:07,769
[FRENCH HORN MUSICPLAYS OFF-KEY]
147
00:07:07,652 --> 00:07:09,253
[MUSIC STOPS]
148
00:07:13,863 --> 00:07:16,829
So, what are you reading?
149
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:18,862
Uh, "Moby-dick"
by melville.
150
00:07:18,798 --> 00:07:22,099
Have you read any
good books lately?
151
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:24,483
I just read a fascinating
biography on Chamberlain.
152
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,169
Oh, Neville,
the prime minister?
153
00:07:26,123 --> 00:07:28,657
Wilt, the stilt.
154
00:07:29,944 --> 00:07:31,777
Hey, Spencer,
you having a good time?
155
00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:33,827
[SIGHS]
156
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:37,754
Why are you just
sitting there?!
157
00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,481
At least try to
make some connection.
158
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:42,601
I've been trying.
Watch this.
159
00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:45,157
Hey, Spence, think fast.
160
00:07:47,618 --> 00:07:49,917
I wish you would
stop doing that.
161
00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:55,868
If I have to spend five more
minutes with that brainiac
162
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:58,337
I'm gonna jump off
his book and kill myself.
163
00:07:58,255 --> 00:08:00,854
You shouldn't make fun of him
just because he's smart.
164
00:08:00,770 --> 00:08:03,736
Caitlin, negotiations are breaking down.
Carter needs your help.
165
00:08:03,636 --> 00:08:05,369
Have fun with the egghead.
166
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,574
Ah!
167
00:08:09,495 --> 00:08:12,161
Even better
the second time.
168
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,142
Did you read "Moby-dick"?
169
00:08:14,081 --> 00:08:15,481
No...
170
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,516
It's about a cranky fish,
right?
171
00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:19,812
Actually,
a whale is a mammal,
172
00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:22,348
and the novel is an allegory
for man's battle with...
173
00:08:22,264 --> 00:08:25,132
don't ruin it!
174
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:26,769
I'm sorry.
175
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,657
I know you don't like
hanging out with me.
176
00:08:28,602 --> 00:08:31,068
That's not true.
You're a good kid.
177
00:08:30,991 --> 00:08:34,224
I'm sure there's something fun
we can find to do together.
178
00:08:34,112 --> 00:08:36,644
I know.
You want to go get a pizza?
179
00:08:36,563 --> 00:08:39,364
I don't really like pizza.
180
00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:41,904
Spencer, I'm trying,
but I just don't get you.
181
00:08:41,817 --> 00:08:43,784
I mean, you just read a book
182
00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:47,395
about a giant sperm whale
called "Moby-dick"...
183
00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:51,263
And you didn't giggle once.
184
00:08:51,116 --> 00:08:54,883
I... I guess I'm
just a serious person.
185
00:08:54,746 --> 00:08:57,614
I'm gonna teach you how
to loosen up a little bit.
186
00:08:57,517 --> 00:09:01,018
For starters, lose the blazer.
It makes you look old.
187
00:09:00,893 --> 00:09:02,492
Secondly...
188
00:09:02,453 --> 00:09:04,753
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
189
00:09:04,683 --> 00:09:06,282
Hello?
Oh, hey, Julie.
190
00:09:06,242 --> 00:09:09,610
Yeah, I'm... I'm really sorry.
I can't make it tonight.
191
00:09:09,491 --> 00:09:11,825
I'm stuck hanging out
with a friend.
192
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,585
Really?
193
00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:15,968
How old's your friend?
194
00:09:15,892 --> 00:09:18,159
21?
195
00:09:18,089 --> 00:09:20,655
Put the blazer back on.
196
00:09:28,247 --> 00:09:32,380
Spencer, you look a little young
for a 21-year-old.
197
00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:35,061
Yeah, it's like
"the picture of Dorian gray."
198
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:38,066
I have a hidden portrait
of myself that grows old,
199
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,960
but my youth
goes on forever.
200
00:09:39,902 --> 00:09:43,169
So did that answer.
201
00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:46,256
He looks young, but he is an adult
in every sense of the word.
202
00:09:46,144 --> 00:09:49,077
Oh, cool! Beer!
203
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:51,111
Give me that!
204
00:09:51,047 --> 00:09:53,882
So did I tell you guys I was
traveling to India this summer?
205
00:09:53,787 --> 00:09:55,120
Have either of you ever been?
206
00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:56,392
Well, not physically,
207
00:09:56,367 --> 00:10:01,100
but my homeroom did represent
India in the mock u.N.
208
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,920
Can I talk to you
for a second?
209
00:10:05,983 --> 00:10:07,616
What are you doing?!
210
00:10:07,576 --> 00:10:09,043
I'm nervous.
211
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,375
I've never been this close to
a fully developed woman before.
212
00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:13,991
You keep up
the "mock u.N." Rap,
213
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:15,845
this is the closest
you'll ever get.
214
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:17,525
Yeah, I know, I know.
215
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,680
I'm just a loser
when it comes to girls.
216
00:10:19,613 --> 00:10:21,046
You're not a loser.
217
00:10:21,013 --> 00:10:23,114
And I understand
what you're going through.
218
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:24,785
You were like me
when you were my age?
219
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,273
[SIGHS]
220
00:10:26,237 --> 00:10:28,469
Not really.
221
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:29,935
Oh, but you
had friends like me?
222
00:10:29,899 --> 00:10:32,398
No.
223
00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:36,752
But these women are a lot older,
and you are holding your own.
224
00:10:36,587 --> 00:10:37,886
Really?
225
00:10:37,859 --> 00:10:39,226
Yeah.
You just need a few tips.
226
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:41,497
Women are into guys who
have a little mystery,
227
00:10:41,426 --> 00:10:45,726
so when they're talking, just
listen, tilt your chin up,
228
00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:48,233
squint your eyes,
and go, "yeah."
229
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:50,912
Doesn't that seem
a little shallow?
230
00:10:50,821 --> 00:10:54,021
You're catching on.
231
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:59,567
You know, I heard this place was
a speak-easy during prohibition.
232
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:03,184
If I could have lived during
any decade, it'd be the '20s.
233
00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:05,949
Yeah.
234
00:11:05,852 --> 00:11:08,618
I just saw a great
documentary about the '20s.
235
00:11:08,526 --> 00:11:11,827
I think that's the purest
form of filmmaking.
236
00:11:11,711 --> 00:11:13,978
Yeah.
237
00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:19,799
You guys want to go
somewhere else for dessert?
238
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,474
Yeah.Yeah.
239
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:30,525
So, sir... How were the
soothing sounds of the ocean?
240
00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:32,172
Not so soothing.
241
00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:34,956
About five minutes in,
I heard a man shout,
242
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:39,161
"put that horn down,
you talentless hack!"
243
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:43,202
Followed by a violent struggle
and glass breaking.
244
00:11:43,046 --> 00:11:47,013
The ocean's
a mysterious place.
245
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:49,534
Sir, you gotta do something
about this insomnia.
246
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:52,181
There's gotta be a reason
that you're not sleeping.
247
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:54,523
Are you sure that there's
nothing bothering you?
248
00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:56,546
Absolutely.
249
00:11:56,485 --> 00:11:58,752
Fine.
250
00:11:58,682 --> 00:12:00,549
Paul got offered a job
with senator Davis
251
00:12:00,497 --> 00:12:02,597
and I didn't tell him.
252
00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:06,202
There! You broke me!
What are you talking about?
253
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:09,204
The senator asked for my
permission to offer Paul a job,
254
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,195
and I told him Paul
wasn't interested.
255
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:12,466
I lied.
256
00:12:12,438 --> 00:12:14,906
This is obviously the
reason you're not sleeping.
257
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,161
You gotta tell him.
258
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:17,733
If I tell him
he could take the job,
259
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,159
and that would mean
no more Paul.
260
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,949
You gotta tell him.
261
00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:30,593
Aw... Damn.
He's not with you.
262
00:12:30,558 --> 00:12:31,558
What's wrong?
263
00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:32,779
Spencer's gone.
264
00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:34,488
I woke up this morning,
he wasn't there.
265
00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:36,409
I've been looking all over.
I'm worried.
266
00:12:36,354 --> 00:12:39,320
I haven't seen him since I dropped
him off at your place last night.
267
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:41,021
I hope he hasn't
done anything crazy.
268
00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:44,438
What would he do?
Carjack a bookmobile? [LAUGHS]
269
00:12:46,704 --> 00:12:48,337
Grow up, Charlie!
270
00:12:48,296 --> 00:12:50,296
What did you guys
do last night?
271
00:12:50,239 --> 00:12:51,771
We had a blast.
272
00:12:51,735 --> 00:12:53,102
Julie called.
273
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,505
Turns out she had a
21-year-old friend,
274
00:12:55,428 --> 00:12:58,363
so I lied about Spencer's age
and gave him a few tips
275
00:12:58,263 --> 00:12:59,897
on picking up an older woman,
276
00:12:59,855 --> 00:13:04,221
and he had the best time...
why is no one else smiling?
277
00:13:04,059 --> 00:13:08,392
You took a 16-year-old
on a double date?
278
00:13:08,231 --> 00:13:10,331
Is that bad?
279
00:13:10,269 --> 00:13:13,303
That siren probably lured
Spencer back to her place
280
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:15,999
and took from him
that which he holds most dear.
281
00:13:15,905 --> 00:13:18,738
His calculator-watch?
282
00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,361
Sex.
I'm talking about sex!
283
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:23,053
You have nothing
to worry about.
284
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:24,340
This is a kid who can't even
285
00:13:24,312 --> 00:13:26,212
look me in the eye
without blushing.
286
00:13:26,159 --> 00:13:27,193
[DOOR OPENS]
287
00:13:27,178 --> 00:13:30,612
Hey, gorgeous.
288
00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:33,756
He got some.
289
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,249
How could you do this?
290
00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:38,022
He shouldn't be out
carousing with you.
291
00:13:37,973 --> 00:13:39,439
He should be
with people like me
292
00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:41,874
who can appreciate
his superior intellect.
293
00:13:41,795 --> 00:13:44,795
It was wonderful. Just like
"the age of innocence."
294
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,159
Two lovers drawn
together by fate...
295
00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:48,949
oh, cut the literary crap,
Einstein!
296
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,263
I'm responsible for you!
297
00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:52,690
Hey, what's the big deal?
298
00:13:52,654 --> 00:13:54,820
It's a rite of passage
every man goes through.
299
00:13:54,755 --> 00:13:56,922
There's no reason to overreact.
300
00:13:56,858 --> 00:13:59,657
Besides, I'm in love.
What, are you crazy?!
301
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,167
Carrie lives in Boston,
302
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,511
a long-distance relationship
is out of the question.
303
00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:06,037
Oh, thank God!
304
00:14:05,997 --> 00:14:09,597
Which is why I'm dropping out of
high school and moving in with her.
305
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:11,101
This is just great.
306
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:14,594
You know, Charlie,
you're the only adult I know
307
00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:17,635
who would actually encourage
this type of behavior.
308
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:19,392
[LAUGHING]
309
00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:24,335
[CHEERING]
310
00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:30,049
Sir, I heard you
wanted to talk to me?
311
00:14:30,007 --> 00:14:31,475
Yeah, Paul, come in.
Take a seat.
312
00:14:31,441 --> 00:14:34,207
I had an interesting phone call
about you the other day.
313
00:14:34,116 --> 00:14:36,616
Sir, if this is about
the Christmas party,
314
00:14:36,537 --> 00:14:39,003
I had a lot to drink,
my bonus was subpar,
315
00:14:38,924 --> 00:14:41,158
and in a momentary
lapse of judgment,
316
00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:44,223
I may have scratched "suck it"
on the hood of your limo.
317
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,183
No, that's not what
this is about, Paul.
318
00:14:46,122 --> 00:14:50,855
Oh.
You were saying.
319
00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:53,709
Paul, I have a
confession to make.
320
00:14:53,605 --> 00:14:55,904
Senator Davis called
me the other day.
321
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:59,101
He wanted to offer you the job
as his new press secretary...
322
00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:01,887
But I told him you
weren't interested.
323
00:15:01,789 --> 00:15:05,190
Sir, how could you do that
without talking to me first?
324
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,881
The truth is, though
we give you a hard time
325
00:15:08,827 --> 00:15:12,727
about being lazy, abrasive,
absent-minded, self-absorbed...
326
00:15:12,585 --> 00:15:15,384
get to the point, sir.
327
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:17,224
I need you, Paul.
328
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,304
If something goes
wrong around here,
329
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,607
you're right there
to protect me.
330
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:24,500
And if you can't,
you're standing by my side,
331
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,599
taking a hit.
I love that about you.
332
00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:31,255
So... I'm... I'm not
gonna stand in your way.
333
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,652
[TELEPHONE DIALS]
334
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,036
WOMAN:
Senator Davis' office.
335
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:37,003
Randall Winston
for senator Davis.
336
00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:39,546
Wait, sir... sir...
I don't want the job.
337
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:41,494
Why?
You need me.
338
00:15:41,436 --> 00:15:42,935
You people, you're like family.
339
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,801
That's more important
than any job.
340
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:46,147
Are you sure?
341
00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:48,250
Besides,
between you and me,
342
00:15:48,188 --> 00:15:51,054
that senator Davis
is kind of a tool.
343
00:15:50,957 --> 00:15:54,424
I was paired with him at a
charity tennis-tournament.
344
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,668
That lardass
couldn't move ten feet
345
00:15:56,594 --> 00:15:58,761
without taking
a doughnut break!
346
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:01,028
Don't get me started on
that obnoxious wife of his.
347
00:16:00,957 --> 00:16:02,657
Oh, my gosh!
348
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:06,579
MAN: Guys? I've been
on the whole time.
349
00:16:10,733 --> 00:16:12,067
[HANGS UP]
350
00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:15,675
That was close.
Hmm.
351
00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:18,171
You know, Paul,
I really respect you.
352
00:16:18,089 --> 00:16:22,790
Not many men would pass up the
opportunity to triple their salary.
353
00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:28,699
I hope you're happy.
354
00:16:28,662 --> 00:16:30,862
As we speak, Spencer's
on the phone with Carrie,
355
00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:33,428
telling her he's quitting
school and moving to Boston.
356
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:34,676
No way this
woman is gonna want
357
00:16:34,649 --> 00:16:36,515
a relationship with a
high-school kid.
358
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,697
You have nothing
to worry about.
359
00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:41,162
I'm not moving to Boston.
She doesn't love me.
360
00:16:41,081 --> 00:16:43,114
I'm a loser.
I hate myself.
361
00:16:43,055 --> 00:16:44,522
[DOOR SLAMS]
362
00:16:44,489 --> 00:16:45,888
See?
363
00:16:45,858 --> 00:16:49,624
Everything worked out.
364
00:16:49,487 --> 00:16:51,754
You took a kid, you put
him in an adult situation,
365
00:16:51,685 --> 00:16:52,785
and now he's crushed.
366
00:16:52,768 --> 00:16:54,301
We've got to go
talk to him.
367
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,565
I agree.
368
00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:58,338
Right now this kid
needs wisdom, understanding,
369
00:16:58,245 --> 00:16:59,746
and a shoulder to cry on.
370
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:01,543
Let me know how
it works out.
371
00:17:01,494 --> 00:17:04,093
Oh, no, no, no.
You're coming in, too.
372
00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:07,075
You made this bed...
And Spencer got lucky in it.
373
00:17:06,971 --> 00:17:10,438
Hey, Spence.
How you doing?
374
00:17:10,315 --> 00:17:13,215
I know the pain I'm
feeling is emotional,
375
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:16,383
but I physically ache.
376
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,302
I'll never meet
someone like her again.
377
00:17:18,243 --> 00:17:21,143
Spencer, I know it
seems hard right now,
378
00:17:21,046 --> 00:17:23,279
but we've all had a
first love that we...
379
00:17:23,212 --> 00:17:24,978
we thought we'd never
get over.
380
00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:26,097
You got over yours?
381
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,578
Kevin mahoney?
Ah! I'm way past him.
382
00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:31,131
I ran into him the
other day at Tiffany's
383
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:34,178
buying a diamond necklace
for his little wife Megan.
384
00:17:34,071 --> 00:17:36,338
And as he slipped
into his Jaguar,
385
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,300
I trudged through the cold
on the way to the subway,
386
00:17:39,197 --> 00:17:40,631
and I thought to myself,
387
00:17:40,599 --> 00:17:43,232
"happiness isn't measured
by immense wealth,
388
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:45,713
a loving marriage,
and beautiful children."
389
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,897
That bitch stole my life!!
390
00:17:50,597 --> 00:17:54,831
Spencer, what Caitlin's
trying to say,
391
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:59,108
albeit with a touch
of psychotic rage...
392
00:17:58,941 --> 00:18:03,841
Is that it may hurt now,
but it's gonna pass.
393
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:06,321
She's not even smart!
394
00:18:07,475 --> 00:18:10,676
I never want to feel like
this again, you know?
395
00:18:10,565 --> 00:18:14,998
I just want to go from girl to
girl and have fun. Like Charlie.
396
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,832
No, Spence, you don't
want to be like me.
397
00:18:16,774 --> 00:18:19,541
Why not?!
You have the perfect life.
398
00:18:21,047 --> 00:18:22,781
No, I don't.
399
00:18:22,736 --> 00:18:24,835
You know that girl
I was with last night?
400
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:27,340
Sure, we had a good time,
but I'll never see her again.
401
00:18:27,257 --> 00:18:30,689
I'm gonna go home tonight, and
my apartment's gonna be empty,
402
00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:32,502
and I'm gonna wish,
once again,
403
00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:34,881
that I'd committed
to that special someone
404
00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:37,638
who'd be waiting for me
with a "how was your day?"
405
00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:38,877
And a kiss on my cheek.
406
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:43,449
[SOBBING] Oh, Kevin!
407
00:18:43,275 --> 00:18:47,375
Now, Spence, do you
really want to be like me?
408
00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:49,923
I guess I need a little more
experience with love
409
00:18:49,835 --> 00:18:51,168
before I give up on it.
410
00:18:51,141 --> 00:18:53,540
[SOBBING]
411
00:18:53,464 --> 00:18:55,932
Maybe we should
get you some water.
412
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:58,088
[CRYING]
That would be nice.
413
00:18:58,019 --> 00:19:00,318
[SNIFFLING]
414
00:19:00,248 --> 00:19:01,781
[DOOR CLOSES]
415
00:19:01,745 --> 00:19:03,711
Thanks for setting him
straight.
416
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,089
It was brilliant...
417
00:19:05,057 --> 00:19:07,491
the way you talked him
out of your lifestyle.
418
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,712
Heh... You really
want that special person
419
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:11,975
waiting at home with
a kiss on the cheek?
420
00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:16,469
Yeah.
421
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:24,509
Listen, I... I want to apologize
if I overreacted earlier.
422
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:28,524
It's just that teenagers
are so complicated.
423
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,267
In the course of one night,
424
00:19:30,215 --> 00:19:33,415
I watched Spencer grow
from a geeky little boy
425
00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:37,270
to a... Geeky little man.
426
00:19:37,124 --> 00:19:39,024
It was gonna happen
sooner or later.
427
00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:40,138
I know.
428
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:41,952
I guess I worry
that as he gets older,
429
00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:45,301
I might not be equipped to help
him with all his problems.
430
00:19:45,181 --> 00:19:46,648
Just be there for him.
431
00:19:46,614 --> 00:19:49,081
That's the thing
he wants the most.
432
00:19:49,002 --> 00:19:52,202
Well, second-most
after last night.
433
00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:56,258
Well, anyway, I'm glad you
and Spencer have become friends.
434
00:19:56,104 --> 00:19:59,904
And I want you to know I
completely trust you with him.
435
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,899
Well, I'm heading home.
436
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:04,168
Maybe I'll take Spencer out
for a bite to eat.
437
00:20:04,097 --> 00:20:05,898
Not without me
you're not.
438
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:12,025
Triple my salary...
439
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:15,230
Three times what I make...
440
00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:17,316
Thrice...
441
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:20,149
Thrice...
442
00:20:20,051 --> 00:20:23,152
CARTER: Hey, Stuart, listen.I figured out "Tequila."
443
00:20:23,045 --> 00:20:24,645
[FRENCH HORN MUSIC PLAYSOFF-KEY]
444
00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:27,738
STUART: Stop it!I can't take it anymore!
445
00:20:27,631 --> 00:20:31,864
Oh! What do I have to do to getsome respect around here?!
446
00:20:31,707 --> 00:20:33,406
It's my art form!
447
00:21:30,864 --> 00:21:33,296
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
[BARKING]
448
00:21:33,297 --> 00:21:35,464
Moo.
449
00:21:35,514 --> 00:21:40,064
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