All language subtitles for Spin City s06e13 O Mother Where Art Thou.eng

Thanks for making
me breakfast.

There is nothing better
than a man who can cook.

Actually, my personal
chef made it.

Except a man who can
afford a personal chef.

- Mmm.
- I'll see you later.

She's something else,
isn't she?

Don't waste your time. I've been trying
to get her into bed for a year now.

Charlie Crawford,
deputy mayor.

Tom Callahan,
Caitlin's boyfriend.

Oh, that whole
"get her into bed" thing

was just
political speak

for trying to win
support on an issue.

Hey, Carter, after the
morning meeting,

I'm gonna get
you into bed.

Buy me lunch.
We'll talk about it.

- Nice to meet you.
- Sure.

Are you kidding me? That old
guy is Caitlin's boyfriend?

Yes, and I really like him, and I don't have
time to listen to cracks about his age.

I understand.
You want to take advantage

of the few good years
you have left together.

Don't listen
to Carter.

We just want tom to like
you as much as he liked ike.

I'll have you know
that tom runs marathons

and he takes me to hip
restaurants like cafe LA mans.

Why, do they have
an early bird special?

Paul, that's not funny.

Who's joking? Do they have
an early bird special?

What's going on?

Caitlin's dating
an old fogy.

Oh, break out
the geritol.

Polish up
the Walker!

How old is
the geezer?

He's 55.

Well, I'm 56.

[SIGHS]

Heads up. The mayor's
in a weird mood.

It's the anniversary
of his mother's death.

She made him miserable
while she was alive,

and she's
still doing it.

Do you guys believe
in an afterlife

where people are reunited
with their loved ones?

I think we rot away in a wooden
box and get eaten by worms.

I hope you're right.

Sir, I know that you had
issues with your mother,

but try to think
of the good times.

I'll give it a shot.

Now what?

Hey, hey, hey. How was
shopping with tom's daughter?

Horrible. No matter how hard I
try, she won't give me a chance.

What reason could she
possibly have to hate me?

Well, she's still reeling
from her parents' divorce

and here you come swooping
into her mother's bedroom

like a love-thirsty
vulture.

Or she's on drugs.

I have to meet
with her for lunch.

Hey, could you
come with us?

It's really important to tom that we get along.
And it might help me relax.

I have lunch plans.
Why don't you ask Charlie?

Are you kidding?

He hits on waitresses, he makes
rude noises when he eats,

and he's a terrible
conversationalist.

Oh, hey, buddy!

Hey, guys,
I figured out

the perfect way
to cheer up the mayor.

Paul and I have been hatching
something all morning.

I discovered the mayor's
mother was an organ donor,

and her heart was transplanted
into a younger woman.

After exhaustive research, I
tracked her down, invited her in,

and she's with
the mayor right now.

What do you guys
have planned?

Same.

His mother's last act was
one of supreme generosity.

The mayor will finally see
her in a different light.

Here they come.
Don't say anything.

She wants to tell him
about the heart at lunch.

You have got to finish
that yachting story.

No, I'm not gonna
say another word

until you tell me
something about yourself.

- Well, I live in the city.
- That's terrific.

So the wind was blowing
like stink, and the jib...

Hey, you two.
How are things going?

Fantastic.
You know, I feel like

I've known Christine
my whole life.

Randall,
we're late for lunch.

It's cold out. You
should get your scarf.

I hate that scarf.
It itches.

Would you rather have an itchy
neck or a terrible cold?

Itchy neck.

This soup
sure is good.

It's got tomatoes...

In a liquid form.

So, Tracy...
Can I call you trace?

Sure.

If I can call you "cheap floozy
who's seducing my dad."

I'll stick with Tracy.

[CLEARS THROAT]
Sometimes...

I like to eat my soup
with a sugar spoon...

And pretend
I'm a giant.

Arrgghh!

- [THUD]
- Ow.

You know, Caitlin
has lots of interests.

She loves bike riding
and going to the theater.

Ugh, the theater
is so pretentious.

Don't you think so,
Charlie?

Well, yeah,
I think that,

but Caitlin says
it's very enriching.

That's what old people
say about things that suck.

I agree.

I'll take a
movie any day.

Especially classics from the
'70s like apocalypse now.

Yeah, or taxi driver.

And xanadu.

Raargh!

Aargh!

I'm uncomfortable with this organ-transplant thing.
I mean, think about it.

In 40 years some guy could be
walking the street with my brain.

Ten to one
he's lost.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Did the mayor get back from lunch yet?
- Not yet.

He and Christine must
really be bonding.

Once again my
instincts are dead-on.

I think she may be able
to give the mayor

something his
mother never could.

That was amazing.

By the way, what was
that important thing

that you wanted
to tell me?

It can wait.

Good! I caught you before
you left for the day.

I brought you these
from my greenhouse.

You picked me flowers?
That is so romantic.

Actually, I had
my gardener do it.

You just keep
getting better.

Let me put
these in water.

Hey, tom!

I'm Paul lassiter.

I think we ought to talk about
your intentions with Caitlin.

She's always been like
a little sister to me.

I'm very protective.
If you cut her, I bleed.

Let's talk at a Knicks game.
I have courtside seats.

I love the Knicks.

- So, how long have you known Caitlin?
- Who?

Hey, Caitlin, I want you to come
by the house for dinner tonight.

Tracy will be there.

We need to
talk about that.

I tried, but she
just doesn't like me.

I appreciate
the effort.

Ever since
the divorce,

Tracy's been moody
and staying out late.

Not to mention hanging out with
the worst guys... older guys,

womanizers who try to seduce
her with their lame moves.

- Oh! - What are you looking at?

Tom...

- ...take me now.
- What?

I've never been more
turned on in my entire life.

Oh, on second thought,

let's get coffee.

How did you get
to be so cute?

Well, face creams...

...hair gels.

I even have these little
strips I put on my teeth.

Shhh!

I didn't really
want to know.

Ooh! I got to go.

- Call me.
- I will.

Call me, call me, call me.
Don't forget.

I won't forget.

Bye.

Oh, God!

- What the hell are you doing?
- It's not what you think.

It looks like you're trying to score
with tom's 23-year-old daughter.

Oh, then it's exactly
what you think.

You're old enough
to be her father.

Our age difference is
smaller than yours and tom's.

But in my relationship

it's a younger woman
dating an older man.

- It's the same in mine.
- But in my relationship

the older man's not
about to get his ass kicked.

What are you gonna do,
give me a little girly slap?

Ow!

What, are you
on the juice?

Charlie, I am dating
her father.

If you hurt this girl,
he'll blame me.

And if by some ridiculous
chance it works out,

I'll be your
mother-in-law.

Wow. My kids will have
a grandma Caitlin.

- That's not funny.
- It's pretty funny.

I'm not gonna hurt her.
You have nothing to worry about.

No offense, but you're
a woman's worst nightmare.

Thanks. The "no offense"
really softened that.

Charlie,
I really like this guy.

Please don't screw
it up for me.

Fine.
I won't see her.

Sorry.
I was just...

...pressing my
ear against the door

so I could hear your
private conversation.

You've just thrown in the towel
on the whole excuse thing.

Why are you letting
Caitlin tell you

you can't make things
work with Tracy?

Well, my track record with
women isn't exactly stellar.

Don't give up just because someone
tells you you're not good enough.

When I was growing up, I was in
love with this girl, Valerie.

She was beautiful
and funny.

But everyone told me that
I didn't have a chance,

that I was crazy,
so I gave up.

And I have regretted
it ever since.

- What happened to her?
- She married Eddie van halen.

My point is,
if you like Tracy,

that's what matters.

You're right.
You are right.

Who's Caitlin to tell
me who I can date?

I... there was an ant
crawling up your door,

and I was trying to
crush it with my ear.

You see?

This is what
I'm looking for.

That was the most
amazing afternoon.

The pleasure
was all mine.

By the way, I'm really
sorry about that.

You don't have to apologize.
You were great.

What about you bringing me
chicken soup when we were done.

Besides your mother,
who does that?

I can't think
of anyone.

See you later.

Oh, there's my guy.

I can't thank you enough
for introducing me to Christine.

- Ooh! That's just what I needed.
- I'm so glad.

You know, in your
wildest dreams,

would you have
ever thought

that the old Winston organ
would end up inside her?

I did buy her
a nice lunch.

Besides, the sexual
attraction was undeniable.

Wait!

You slept with her?

Guilty as charged.

You know, I don't know what it
is about that woman,

but she makes me want
to be a naughty boy.

I am so happy
I work here!

- Sir, I think we need to talk.
- What?

Now, this isn't
a big deal,

and I don't want
you to overreact.

[MAYOR] Oh, my God!

Caitlin,
thank you for coming.

This is
my friend, Steven.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Hey.

Steven is a
family therapist.

I thought it might
be a good idea

if you, Tracy and I
spent some time with him.

Wow. Tom, I don't know.

If you're uncomfortable
being with a therapist,

- I completely understand.
- Why would I be uncomfortable?

I'm in perfect
mental health.

I mean, we all
have our quirks.

When I'm nervous I compulsively clean
my hands, but that's normal, right?

Are you a middle child?

Maybe.

Dad, what are
they doing here?

It's clear that you have
issues with Caitlin and me,

and I thought that we
should talk about it.

Forget it, okay?
I've got a date.

So instead of working
on our relationship,

you'd rather run around
town with some jerk.

Why do you have a problem
with every guy I date?

Because you always find the
one guy you know I'll hate.

- That is not true!
- [DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, tom.

Is your
daughter around?

You really should go.

You can't tell me who I can date.
I belong here as much as you do.

For what it's worth, I think it
would be a good idea if he stayed.

I like this guy.
Hi, Charlie Crawford.

Hi, I'm Steven.
I'm a family therapist.

I'm here to help you all
work through your problems.

Oh, we don't have
any problems.

Sure, I'm dating the
daughter of a man

who's dating
my best friend,

and, sure, he hates me,
and she hates her,

she hates him
for being with her.

Should I lie down?

Sir, I'll admit, this is
a little unusual,

but it's not like it's
your mother's mind or soul

we're talking about.

It's just a body part.

When you think about it,
there's nothing wrong.

Maybe you're right.

She's just an ordinary woman
who's very nurturing,

who has my mother's heart,
who I'm having sex with.

I'm going to hell.

And mother will
be waiting.

In my whole life the
one thing I counted on

was my mom and dad
being together.

Now I just feel
like my whole world

is collapsing
around me.

I can't believe
you came here.

How do you
think I feel?

Charlie, do you have
something to add?

Actually,
I wasn't listening.

Tracy, would you like to repeat
that gut-wrenching revelation?

[SOBBING] I don't
think I can.

I'll catch
the next one.

Honey, I'm sorry that this
divorce has been so hard on you,

but it's not fair
for you to punish me

by dating the absolute
dregs of the earth.

That's you.

How do you think I feel when you parade
around with the bimbo of the week?

That's you.

Caitlin is a wonderful woman,
and she means a lot to me.

Well, Charlie means
a lot to me.

He's a real man

who's not intimidated by you
or your gun collection.

Guns? You mean like the
antique ones that don't work?

They work.

Charlie's fun,
and he's sexy,

- and he's...
- Religious... Deeply religious.

- He's passionate...
- About celibacy.

Steven, you see what she's doing?
She obviously has issues with me.

But instead of expressing them like
an adult, she tries to hurt me.

I know what that
feels like.

I don't have any
issues with you.

You're obviously here because
you're jealous of my relationship.

Why do you think
I'd be jealous?

Charlie, you've made
over 300 passes at me.

So? I make passes at
almost every woman I meet.

But you're special.

Hold it. We're never going to get
anywhere unless we listen to each other.

Charlie, why don't
you go first

and share what's
on your mind?

The only things that are on
his mind are sports and sex.

No one is that shallow.
It's just not possible.

Are you sure
it's not possible?

Hey.

I can't stop thinking about
our afternoon of passion.

Me neither.

Did you ever imagine

that something like
that could happen?

Well, I did have one
weird dream when I was 15.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing really.

Oh!

Well, Carter
just mentioned

that my mother is
alive inside your body.

I'm sorry I didn't
mention it before.

We were just
having so much fun.

And it seemed like
such a serious topic.

But isn't
it wonderful?

Your mother
saved my life.

And now, thanks to her,
I met a great man.

You know, if you're
free tonight,

I wouldn't mind
a little sleepover.

Shh! Not in front
of mother.

Randall,
calm down.

I'm sorry, Christine,
I really like you,

but this is just...
It's too strange.

No, it's not strange,
it's fate.

I mean,
what were the chances

that I would find a matching
heart from a 75-year-old woman?

The doctors couldn't believe
what good condition it was in.

She preserved it
through lack of use.

It's a rare,
magical thing

when people connect
like we have.

Shouldn't we
give it a chance?

Maybe you're right.

You know, my mother has
dictated my whole life.

She chose my schools, my career,
which women I should see.

I am 56 years old.

It's time I stop
letting her control me.

You're a
wonderful woman.

And there's no reason that
we shouldn't be together.

Oh, Randall.

Nope.
Not gonna happen.

I could never
live up to my father.

He was such
a great leader...

...strong,
powerful.

And when he died, I couldn't
face it, so I ran away.

I grew up
without a family.

But I made
some friends,

and I had lots of
adventures along the way.

Charlie, that's an
amazing story.

It should be.

It's the lion king.

This is ridiculous. You're making
a joke out of the whole thing.

I'm trying
to open up.

You are incapable
of being honest.

I'm incapable
of being honest?

You're always telling me when
it comes to women I can change.

That my life
doesn't have to be

an endless string of drunken
nights and anonymous sex.

Whatever happened
to bill?

You say that you believe in me. But the
minute I met Tracy, the truth came out.

You think I'm a
woman's worst nightmare.

And how did it make you feel
to be berated like that?

Hurt...

...betrayed.

A little turned on.

That's a whole
other issue.

You're right. I should
have given you more credit.

I'm just nervous
about me and tom.

And the truth is I'm very insecure
when it comes to relationships.

Why? You're such
an amazing woman.

I don't meet people
as easily as you do,

and when I do,
maybe I try too hard.

If I overreacted,
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I made things
awkward for you tonight.

Am I still
paying for this?

Wow, this is really great.
While I have you here,

maybe you can help me work
through my fear of heights.

- [PAGER BEEPS]
- I'm sorry. I've got to cut this short.

I just got an emergency page
from the mayor's office.

- Is his problem bigger than my heights thing?
- Oh, yeah.

Heisman trophy.

A naked woman.

A catcher's mitt.

Two naked women.

Can we please
just go to dinner?

Wait! This is
remarkable.

- A palm tree.
- Really?

It's a naked woman.

[MAN] Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

[Barking]

Moo.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0