All language subtitles for Spin City s06e10 Fight Club.eng

...and boots,
Mr. scratchy, moxie,

penny, ling-ling,
and Sebastian.

Wow.
You have a lot of cats.

You look a little different
than the last time I saw you.

Yeah. I've been working out.
You want a ticket?

A ticket to what?

A ticket to the gun show.

Nice, huh?

Yeah.

The blue veins really
bring out your eyes.

They're not just pretty.
They're useful.

There you are,
you cheating lowlife!

Who's this? I'm the woman
who's carrying his child.

[CRYING] You promised you'd
stop chasing other women.

Are you really the father?

According to the DNA testing
and the judge, I am.

But I still have my doubts.

I never want to see you
again.

What took you so long?

I paged you
half an hour ago.

"Code red" means you get here
right away.

Stop complaining.

You're upsetting
our fake baby.

Join me?
You can have her food.

What'd she order?

A t-bone steak,
three baked potatoes,

and a quart
of cottage cheese.

Hey, thanks again for saving me
last night.

Oh, no problem. You might
have to return the favor.

I have a date tonight.

Okay.

But the whole fake-baby thing
is getting a little stale.

Oh, you're right.

Next time I'll be your
disappointed parole officer.

Actually,
that's a little close to home.

Wheeler's attacking
the mayor again.

Being mayor of this city is
physically taxing.

That's another reason
why I'm a better candidate

than Randall Winston.

I'm younger
and in better shape.

Come on, honey.
Let's go play another set.

Terrific idea!

I can't believe he thinks he's
in better shape than I am.

I play 27 holes of golf a day.
The voters should know that.

Let's tell them the day
after the election.

Wheeler's just trying to get
some momentum.

It's working. Since he began making age and
fitness an issue, our lead is dissolving.

We got to beat him
at his own game.

We'll just do
the same thing.

Terrible idea!
Terrible!

Not you, Paul.

Just the mayor.

Okay, that'll work.

I'll set up a press event at
your health club.

I just have one question.

Your club's
at 86th and Madison.

Thank you!

Fitness is a major part of my
life.

I work out every day
to keep my body shipshape.

Why don't I start
with a few chin-ups?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Ahh!

Huh!

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

Someone should fix this thing.

Get your cameras ready.

I'm about to pump some iron.

Easy there, Winston.

You don't want to hurt yourself.
Hello, folks.

Wheeler, what brings you to this
gym during my press event?

Just came with my lovely wife,
Nancy,

to get in
a little workout.

We love to exercise.

[MOCKING]
We love to exercise.

Spot me.

[CHUCKLES]
That's nothing.

Ahh!

Mr. mayor,
that's an awful lot of weight.

I can handle it.

Huh!

Ugh.

[GASPING]

Push, sir.

[STRAINED] Can't.

Being crushed.

Blacking out.

Of course I'll spot you.

[STRAINED]
There you go, sir.

That's all you.

Are you pushing at all?

Mommy!

And...

10!

Whew.

The food here
is really great.

Order anything you want.

I make a ton of money.

Get a lobster.
Get two lobsters.

I think
I'm gonna have a salad.

Get a lobster salad.

I'm allergic to shellfish.
It could kill me, okay?

It's important to be prepared
for death.

That's why I've already bought
my own burial plot.

15 grand.

Maybe I will have
the shellfish.

Watching these people makes me
think I should get into shape.

We should start working out.

We should. As of right now,
we are getting healthy.

All right, I've got some
jalape?o poppers

and a four-cheese quesadilla.

Right here.

Boy, this gives you quite
a workout.

I can really feel it here.

It's called a cracked rib.

Oh, great. Now Wheeler's gonna
show off on a treadmill.

Two can play that game.

This is a walk
in the park.

Well, let's pick it up
a little bit.

[CELLULAR PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Hi, Caitlin.
How's your date going?

Right now?!
I'm really busy.

All right, I do owe you one.
I'll be right there.

Hey, Carter, Stuart,
can you guys cover for me?

[GARBLED] No problem.

[GARBLED]
You can count on us.

I think that we should start
with some aerobics.

Yeah, aerobics.

Wheeler,
you're in trouble.

I got one of these babies
at home.

Once I was on it
for over 15 minutes.

I can do over three hours.

That's not gonna work
for me.

I'm seeing "kiss me, Kate"
at 8:00.

Guess how much
this watch cost?

It doesn't matter.

I'll give you a hint...
4 grand.

Uh, $100.

Way off. 4 grand.

You're bored, aren't you?

Well, all this talk about money
is kind of a turnoff.

You're right.
I always do this.

I'm out with an attractive
woman, I get nervous,

and then I just start
talking about money. Why?

I'm... I'm not
that confident.

And I never think a woman's
gonna like me just for me.

I'll tell you what.
Why don't we start over?

Thank you.
That would be great.

Hey, if it makes you feel
better, we can go Dutch.

Let's not get carried away.

[CHUCKLES]

Aha!

I can't believe you're cheating
on me again.

Charlie, I made a mistake.

You're damn right you did.

And now you're coming
with me.

Whoa-ho.

She's not going anywhere
with you.

Why don't you sit down
before somebody...

getting tired, Winston?

I feel great.

Here you go, Julian.

I thought
you might want this.

Here, sir.
I thought you might want this.

It's a banana smoothie.

You're being childish.
Let's call it a draw.

Fine. Stop your treadmill.
You stop yours.

No chance. In fact,
I'll put my elevation up to 6.

I'm gonna put mine up to 7!

Legs starting to burn,
Winston?

The joke's on you.

I lost feeling in my legs
two hours ago.

Well,
let's see you try this.

Ha!

Ugh! Ugh!

Ugh! Ohh!

Julian!

Nice try!

I'm not gonna push
that button.

Wheeler had a heart attack,
but he's gonna be fine.

He's out of the race.

I didn't expect to win
like this.

But it's just as sweet.

Let's pop open the bubbly!

[LAUGHING]

Uh, sir, you might want to tone
it down a bit.

Wheeler's wife is coming by this
afternoon to concede.

She's very hot.

What's your point?
I think I was clear.

Well, I guess the lesson here is
don't get on the treadmill

if your body can't handle
a vigorous workout.

Ohh!

Whoa! Who punched you?

Nobody.

You've got a class ring
indented on your cheek.

"Summit high cougars."

Look at that tiny cougar.

You see, that's old-world
craftsmanship.

I was helping Caitlin
get out of a bad date,

and this guy, Kyle,
took a swing at me.

He was about 6'8"
with bulging muscles.

Whoo!

I mean, oh.

I'm telling you.
He was a monster.

Hey, everyone,
I'd like you to meet Kyle.

You're Kyle?

Where's the rest of him?

Kyle came
because he wants to apologize.

I feel really bad
about hitting you.

Sucker punched.
Wasn't ready.

I had no idea I'd knock you
to the ground.

The floor was slippery...
marble tile.

And then you'd be delirious,
grab a butter knife,

and threaten to cut me.

That part's true.

Can I see you for a second?

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

You can't date this guy.

He's not a bad guy.
He was just trying to defend me.

That's why it was such
a sweet gesture

when he dropped you
like a sack of potatoes.

Are you turned on
because he slugged me?

No!

Well, a little.

My point is,
I want to give him a chance.

Fine. You like this guy, I'm
gonna have to be around him,

so I guess the only rational
thing to do is move on.

Where are you going?

I'm gonna punch him
then move on.

Oh, no, no, no.

Come on, Charlie.
If you channel that energy

into something mature,

you'll feel much better.

Just do this for me
as a friend.

Why did I ever agree to be
your friend?

Because I wouldn't sleep
with you.

Oh, yeah.

Kyle, I'll grab your coat
and walk you out.

Okay.
Hey, Charlie.

I almost didn't recognize you
standing up.

Hey, Charlie, do me a favor.
Call maintenance.

My door is stuck again.

Thank you, Charlie.

We are terribly sorry
about your husband,

and even though
this assures our victory,

we all carry
heavy hearts.

Not now! Not now!

3 o'clock! 3 o'clock!

I know your husband and I
were adversaries,

and it saddens me
that you have to come here

and concede on his behalf.

I'm not conceding.

I'm taking over
my husband's campaign,

and I'm running
for mayor myself.

I have played the smiling wife
for 12 years.

This is my chance
to finally do something.

No offense, but not just anyone can run for mayor.
You have to be qualified.

I have a comprehensive plan
for education and tax reform.

I have a law degree
from Yale.

I'm well-funded
and I have the backing

of my husband's supporters.

Whoa. Whoa.
Slow down, sweetheart.

You're talking gibberish.

Being mayor takes more than
ideas and financial support.

You have to be comfortable
in front of the camera.

I used to model
for revlon.

Oh, like that makes you
qualified?

We're in big trouble.

Tonight's debate is on.

I a going to be mayor.

Let me tell you something,
Mrs. Wheeler.

You will never be mayor.

And that is as clear
as the fact

that I am a top-notch
press secretary

who can be had
for a five-figure salary

and a reasonable
health-care package.

And you may take this card,
as a reminder of who said that.

You'll never believe this.

Nancy Wheeler's beating us
in the polls.

With her husband
in the hospital,

she's riding a wave
of sympathy.

Who would have thought
when Wheeler had a heart attack

it would turn out
to be a bad thing?

The voters finally have
a candidate

who's qualified
and pretty.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sir, I didn't mean to imply

that you aren't qualified.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Or pretty.

Well, she is hot.
I'll grant you that.

But we need to dig deeper.

Who does she associate with?

What does she wear to bed?
Is it Lacey?

These are the things
we need to know.

I'm going to need $1,000,
night-vision goggles,

and a van with a big cockroach
on the top.

Stuart's brilliant plan aside,

I think we need to focus
on tonight's debate.

Sir, you've got to treat her like any other candidate.
She hits us, we hit her back.

Big words coming from a man
with a tiny cougar on his face.

[LAUGHS]
Good one, sir.

Just trying to make it easy
on the old guy.

[LAUGHS]

Cougar! Zing!
[LAUGHS]

This whole Kyle thing
is driving me crazy.

Charlie, I commend you on being
above senseless violence.

So if Kyle hit you,
you'd just let it go?

Hell, no. I'd beat him
like a rented mule.

Charlie,
it's out of your control.

Men are genetically programmed
to defend themselves.

Every feeling you're having

is the result of millions
of years of evolution.

Evolution... what a crock.

I hate debates.

I'm too easily swayed
by other people's arguments.

Sir, that's not true.

Yeah, you're right.

Wheeler's wife seems
new and exciting.

You just got to get out there
and bring her down a peg.

I don't know.
That's just not my style.

Come on. Who's the mayor? I am.

And who's the best candidate?
I am.

Who's going to own this city
for the next four years?

Organized crime.

Close enough.

[APPLAUSE]

Good luck.

I'm about to destroy you.

You're going to wish
you'd stayed in bed all day.

For your information,
I did.

Mrs. Wheeler
will speak first.

[SIGHS]

[VOICE BREAKING]
Tonight,

I continue the fight
that my husband began.

Because the people of this city
deserve a better leader.

Your track record on crime
and the economy is a joke.

Well, it's better than having
no track record at all.

You're nothing but an
inexperienced political wannabe.

I am just trying to complete

the work that my poor husband
was doing

before you drove him
to the brink of death.

Oh, jeez.

Let's stick to the issues.
Your economic policy...

[CRYING] My husband loves
that economic policy.

Corporate tax breaks

are a perfect way
to stimulate the economy.

[SIGHS]

You have
no transportation proposal.

We do.

We came up with it
in the ambulance

while they were trying
to restart his heart.

We're screwed. She's playing the sympathy card.
He looks lost up there.

There's no way
we're going to pull this out!

Hold on.
He's making his move.

I'm sorry, but her story
is just so moving.

[SIGHS] I only wish
that I could boost her spirits.

The way I have boosted
the economy of this city.

[CRYING]
10.7% annually.

[SOBS]

[SNIFFLES]

Mrs. Wheeler...

Nancy...

Let me embrace you

the way I have embraced
the poor and the disenfranchised

of this city.

Welcome to the big leagues.

You're a sneaky bastard,
aren't you?

There. There.
Let it all out.

Right. Thanks.

Sir.
Yeah?

The Tim is calling the debate
a draw.

Looks like the election
is going down to the wire.

It's going to be a tough
final week.

Sir, you did a great job
tonight.

How did you make yourself
cry like that?

Well, I just thought
of my father

and how I never got to
tell him I loved him.

Then I stabbed myself
in the thigh with my pen.

Hi, ya, Charlie.

God, I am gonna be so happy
when that shiner is gone.

'Cause it's a painful reminder

of how I knocked you over
like a Mexican bank.

Look, the only reason
I don't level you

is because Caitlin's my friend
and I promised I wouldn't.

Nothing you can say
will provoke me.

What a wuss.

It's party time.

Hey! Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!

Charlie, Charlie.

I thought you were
going to be mature?

After I punch him,
I'll open an I.R.A.

Get in there.

I can't believe you.

You don't understand.

Every time you're not looking,

this guy's like a midget
with road rage.

You promised you'd let this go,
but it's obvious

that your ego is more important
than our friendship.

You want to talk
about friendship?

As your friend,

it pisses me off that you're
dating such a jerk!

You can do so much better
than this guy.

That's why
I can't let it go.

You just want to punch him.

Of course I do!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You yelling at my girl?

Hey, pal.
This is none of your business.

I'm not an idiot.

I spent 80 grand
putting myself through college.

You should have saved
some money for dental school.

Charlie, I grant you,
he's a little annoying,

but there's no reason
to resort to violence.

Hey, toots, when I
want your opinion,

I'll ask for it.

Caitlin?

Party time.

You know what?

I'm not gonna hit you
because I'm the bigger man.

I'm more mature.

Why don't you
just take a walk.

I don't have to walk.

I got $100,000 Porsche turbo
parked outside.

See ya.

Charlie, I'm really proud
of you.

I think you've grown
as a person.

Well, I'd like to think
I have.

Well?

Porsche...
there is no substitute.

These machines
are free.

Let's get busy.

Mmm!

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

(BARKING)

Moo.

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