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1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,569
Last time on "spin city"...
2
00:00:01,570 --> 00:00:03,033
Who would have thought
3
00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:05,199
that you'd end up being
my best friend?
4
00:00:05,199 --> 00:00:07,699
Who would have thought?
5
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,752
I-I can't do this.
6
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,918
Oh, Charlie,
I think you're confused.
7
00:00:16,918 --> 00:00:19,485
What you meant to say was,
"yes, thank you."
8
00:00:20,644 --> 00:00:22,077
I'm sorry.
9
00:00:23,382 --> 00:00:26,533
Look, I was confused
about my feelings for you,
10
00:00:26,534 --> 00:00:27,712
but now I'm not.
11
00:00:27,712 --> 00:00:30,323
We're friends,
and that's what's important.
12
00:00:30,324 --> 00:00:31,692
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
13
00:00:31,693 --> 00:00:33,667
CAITLIN: Anyway,
I really respect
14
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,372
that you put our friendship
ahead of sex,
15
00:00:36,373 --> 00:00:38,220
and I have to admit
as I lie here in the tub,
16
00:00:38,221 --> 00:00:40,131
covered in bubbles
with the candles going,
17
00:00:40,131 --> 00:00:43,219
it's probably better
you're not here.
18
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,850
She's taking
a bubble bath.
19
00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:50,050
What the hell
am I doing here?
20
00:00:51,881 --> 00:00:55,747
And now...
21
00:00:57,645 --> 00:00:59,077
Can I come in?
22
00:00:59,078 --> 00:01:01,211
Well, this is a surprise.
23
00:01:04,555 --> 00:01:05,700
Mmm.
24
00:01:05,701 --> 00:01:07,706
And don't you worry
about my needs.
25
00:01:07,707 --> 00:01:10,447
I just want to give you
the most pleasure possible.
26
00:01:10,447 --> 00:01:12,261
If you insist.
27
00:01:12,262 --> 00:01:15,594
[ROMANTIC SOUL MUSIC PLAYING]
28
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:30,475
MAN'S VOICE: Yo, buddy,
that'll be $6.75.
29
00:01:30,476 --> 00:01:32,675
That'll be $6.75.
30
00:01:33,819 --> 00:01:35,888
Hey!
31
00:01:35,889 --> 00:01:38,500
Thanks, but I'll take my tip
in cash.
32
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,800
You don't know
what you're missing.
33
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:48,275
Can I come in?
34
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,644
Well, this is a surprise.
35
00:01:49,644 --> 00:01:50,878
Oh, Caitlin.
36
00:01:52,766 --> 00:01:54,632
I just kissed
Jackie chan.
37
00:01:56,013 --> 00:01:58,337
Please tell me you didn't
come back for sex.
38
00:01:58,338 --> 00:01:59,707
Sex? No.
39
00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:01,522
No, God, no.
40
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:05,470
I came back because
I forgot my... Keys...
41
00:02:05,471 --> 00:02:07,826
And my condom.
42
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:10,470
Charlie, I was upset earlier,
you were very sweet,
43
00:02:10,471 --> 00:02:11,871
and we had a moment.
44
00:02:11,872 --> 00:02:14,228
That's all it was.
The window is closed.
45
00:02:14,228 --> 00:02:15,692
So we'll open it.
46
00:02:15,693 --> 00:02:17,889
We'll re-create the moment.
47
00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,228
Now...
48
00:02:19,228 --> 00:02:21,774
You were upset...
Wah-wah...
49
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,494
I gave you a hug...
50
00:02:23,495 --> 00:02:24,990
whoa, whoa, whoa,
take it easy.
51
00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:26,837
I'm not here just to be
another notch on your bedpost.
52
00:02:26,838 --> 00:02:27,983
Oh, please.
53
00:02:27,984 --> 00:02:30,404
I don't put notches
on my bedpost.
54
00:02:30,404 --> 00:02:32,304
It's all on computer now.
55
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,391
Caitlin, this isn't
just about sex.
56
00:02:36,391 --> 00:02:40,058
I value our friendship, too,
but I think we can have more.
57
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,632
Let me try
to open the window.
58
00:02:42,632 --> 00:02:45,976
Okay, but the odds are,
like, a million to one.
59
00:02:45,977 --> 00:02:48,459
That's the spirit.
60
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,992
You relax,
I'll get us some wine.
61
00:02:53,713 --> 00:02:55,369
Wine...
62
00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:58,470
the wd-40
of window-opening.
63
00:03:00,751 --> 00:03:03,084
[DOORBELL RINGS]
64
00:03:04,604 --> 00:03:06,865
This is a playful
little vintage,
65
00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:08,598
and it goes great with...
66
00:03:10,145 --> 00:03:12,011
Another guy.
67
00:03:40,046 --> 00:03:41,351
Look at you.
68
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,706
You spent a month in Costa Rica?
You never take vacations.
69
00:03:43,707 --> 00:03:45,840
Yeah, well, I realized
it was time to take a break
70
00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:47,878
when I fell asleep
while briefing a congressman.
71
00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:51,253
How embarrassing. Yeah, especially
since I was driving at the time.
72
00:03:51,254 --> 00:03:52,623
You know,
73
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:55,074
I just went down there
for one week,
74
00:03:55,075 --> 00:03:58,036
and then I met someone
and I just kept going.
75
00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,660
You must have
some great stories.
76
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:01,894
Probably too many to tell
right now.
77
00:04:03,228 --> 00:04:05,266
Maybe you should
go back to your hotel
78
00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:06,633
and type them up
for tomorrow.
79
00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:08,512
Look, Charlie,
Caitlin and I, you know,
80
00:04:08,513 --> 00:04:10,104
we dated,
but we're just friends.
81
00:04:10,104 --> 00:04:12,397
So, you know, I don't want
to get in the way here.
82
00:04:12,398 --> 00:04:14,085
What? Why would you
be in the way?
83
00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:16,028
Come on. It's late,
84
00:04:16,028 --> 00:04:17,938
there's a bottle of wine,
85
00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:20,472
there's a condom
over there.
86
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,223
It's not like that.
87
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:24,757
It's a little like that.
88
00:04:25,868 --> 00:04:27,045
Maybe I should go.
89
00:04:27,046 --> 00:04:28,638
No, no, no. I'll go.
90
00:04:28,638 --> 00:04:30,515
That would be better.
91
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:31,918
I told the guys
I'd meet them
92
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:33,286
after I left here,
93
00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:34,720
so, you guys,
you enjoy yourself,
94
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,344
and I'll see you tomorrow.
95
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:38,955
Michael!
96
00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:40,389
Mikey!
97
00:04:41,725 --> 00:04:44,654
Look at you.
You look great.
98
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:48,731
Hey, Charlie's here.
And there's a condom.
99
00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,005
Guys, guys,
we gotta work tomorrow.
100
00:04:50,006 --> 00:04:51,820
I don't think the mayor would
be too happy if he knew...
101
00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:53,987
did someone say party?
102
00:05:00,131 --> 00:05:02,519
Caitlin.
103
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,366
I was up half the night.
104
00:05:04,366 --> 00:05:07,040
I have a new theory
on getting the window open.
105
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,856
Let's try again,
but this time
106
00:05:08,856 --> 00:05:11,944
without your old boyfriend
and the entire city hall staff.
107
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,460
Charlie, you can't force
a moment like we had.
108
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:16,274
Romance has to be
spontaneous.
109
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,185
Look, I'm not good
at this.
110
00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:21,911
All I know is I'm a man,
you're a woman.
111
00:05:21,911 --> 00:05:23,854
Let's do stuff.
112
00:05:23,855 --> 00:05:26,402
And you say you're not
good at this.
113
00:05:26,402 --> 00:05:29,808
You're being unrealistic
about this romance stuff.
114
00:05:29,809 --> 00:05:32,865
I'm telling you,
guys just aren't like that.
115
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,808
So I take her for this
romantic walk on the beach.
116
00:05:34,809 --> 00:05:38,151
I mean, there's a breeze,
there's these wildflowers,
117
00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:40,093
two doves,
two white doves,
118
00:05:40,094 --> 00:05:42,673
just floating
in lazy circles above us.
119
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:45,140
It was the perfect
romantic moment.
120
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:49,423
You should wear a bell
around your neck
121
00:05:49,424 --> 00:05:50,724
so I know where you are.
122
00:05:52,321 --> 00:05:54,231
Mike, I've never seen you
looking so happy and relaxed.
123
00:05:54,232 --> 00:05:56,111
Well, you know what?
It's Allison. It's Allison.
124
00:05:56,111 --> 00:06:00,058
I think of her,
and I just smile.
125
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,874
Okay, see that?
126
00:06:01,874 --> 00:06:03,371
So when do we
get to meet her?
127
00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:06,109
Uh, you can't. She's gone.
What do you mean?
128
00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:08,499
Well, she works for
the world wildlife fund,
129
00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:09,930
so she's going
on a 6-month trip tomorrow,
130
00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:12,320
and I gotta go back
to Washington,
131
00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:14,707
so, you know,
it just can't work.
132
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,617
Mike, we know you.
You can make anything work.
133
00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:18,284
For God's sake,
you made Paul work.
134
00:06:19,165 --> 00:06:20,471
How could you just
let her go?
135
00:06:20,472 --> 00:06:21,744
PAUL: What if
she's the one?
136
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:23,369
What if you spend the rest
of your life searching
137
00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:24,833
and you never find anyone
as perfect as her?
138
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,395
Okay, where the hell
were you guys
139
00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:27,794
when I said goodbye to her?
140
00:06:27,795 --> 00:06:30,151
It's no big deal. Just call her,
tell her you made a mistake.
141
00:06:30,152 --> 00:06:32,031
I can't. I mean,
I know she's in town,
142
00:06:32,031 --> 00:06:33,972
but I have no idea
where she's staying.
143
00:06:33,973 --> 00:06:35,437
We'll help you find her,
right, guys?
144
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,062
Absolutely.
We'll check hotels.
145
00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:38,207
I'll start with
the four seasons.
146
00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,213
Oh, they have a great Sushi bar.
147
00:06:40,214 --> 00:06:41,710
Oh, it's been so long
since I had great Sushi.
148
00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,812
No, no, no, they have
a scallop roll... unbelievable!
149
00:06:43,812 --> 00:06:44,830
Oh, that is my favorite.
150
00:06:44,831 --> 00:06:47,283
Let's go eat.
151
00:06:47,284 --> 00:06:50,086
Can I still fire them?
152
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:53,428
She sounds great, Mike.
I'm really happy for you.
153
00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:55,530
If it wasn't for
my relationship with you,
154
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,950
there's no way I'd be
a good enough person for her.
155
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:01,384
Oh, that's such
a nice thing to say.
156
00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:10,878
Did you hear the way
Mike was talking about Allison?
157
00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:12,980
That's the way
a romance should start.
158
00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,890
Oh, come on,
you can't go by Mike.
159
00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:16,225
No guy is that romantic.
160
00:07:17,249 --> 00:07:19,796
To your beauty.
161
00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:22,151
These guys are killing me.
Oh, excuse us.
162
00:07:22,152 --> 00:07:23,935
Oh, no,
Charlie, Caitlin, stay.
163
00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:26,673
Uh, judge Simmons and I
were just, um,
164
00:07:26,674 --> 00:07:28,233
testing the wine
165
00:07:28,234 --> 00:07:32,501
that they serve inmates
with their last meals.
166
00:07:34,793 --> 00:07:36,626
Oh, yes,
I think they'll enjoy this.
167
00:07:38,265 --> 00:07:39,633
Because nothing complements
168
00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:42,531
a lethal injection
like a nice Merlot.
169
00:07:42,531 --> 00:07:44,696
It's nice to see
both of you again.
170
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,607
I'll call you later,
Mr. mayor?
171
00:07:46,608 --> 00:07:49,569
Your honor,
what kind of food will the...
172
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,603
Prisoners be having tonight?
173
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,598
Well, there's
one special prisoner
174
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,604
I'd like to invite over
for a homemade lasagna.
175
00:07:56,605 --> 00:07:58,230
But will the prisoner
have access
176
00:07:58,231 --> 00:07:59,630
to the parking garage
177
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:01,031
so his limo
doesn't get scratched again?
178
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:04,694
You want the lasagna,
be there at 8:00.
179
00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:06,573
Okay? Bye.
180
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,120
Sir, we know you're
dating judge Simmons.
181
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,681
You don't have to hide it.
182
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:12,654
Really?
Because it would be great
183
00:08:12,655 --> 00:08:14,310
if I didn't have to
keep coming up
184
00:08:14,311 --> 00:08:16,253
with these clever covers,
like this inmate thing.
185
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:18,865
Yeah. That'd be great
for all of us.
186
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,137
It's good for your image
187
00:08:20,138 --> 00:08:22,430
to be seen with a woman
like judge Simmons.
188
00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:24,818
And don't be afraid
to show her a little affection
189
00:08:24,819 --> 00:08:26,442
in public.
The voters like that.
190
00:08:26,443 --> 00:08:29,118
When you're with someone, it
makes you seem more desirable.
191
00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:31,187
That may be true,
but I've always had
192
00:08:31,188 --> 00:08:33,608
a certain quality
that women find irresistible.
193
00:08:33,609 --> 00:08:34,659
You're filthy rich?
194
00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:37,110
That would be it.
195
00:08:37,111 --> 00:08:38,989
Yeah, I need to know
if your hotel
196
00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:40,804
has a guest named
Allison Wright,
197
00:08:40,804 --> 00:08:41,950
and I'm short on time.
198
00:08:41,951 --> 00:08:42,906
What?
199
00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:44,880
A beautiful speaking voice?
200
00:08:44,881 --> 00:08:46,123
Why, thank you.
201
00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:49,624
You know, in high school
I did toy with the idea
202
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:51,216
of going into acting.
203
00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:53,987
Tell me, do you have
an Allison Wright there?
204
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:55,801
No. Okay.
Listen, tell me,
205
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,063
do you have
a brunch special there?
206
00:08:58,063 --> 00:09:00,068
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
207
00:09:00,069 --> 00:09:01,183
Hello.
208
00:09:01,184 --> 00:09:03,444
Oh, hey, Mike.
Let me put you on speaker.
209
00:09:03,445 --> 00:09:04,431
Any luck?
210
00:09:04,431 --> 00:09:05,737
No. I've been
to six museums,
211
00:09:05,738 --> 00:09:07,775
four department stores,
even the zoo.
212
00:09:07,776 --> 00:09:09,207
I'm getting desperate here.
213
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:10,578
Mike, it's Stuart.
214
00:09:10,578 --> 00:09:13,380
I had a police sketch artist
draw a picture of Allison.
215
00:09:13,381 --> 00:09:15,322
Well, if it's
from your description,
216
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,647
I'm guessing it's a picture
of Daisy Fuentes
217
00:09:17,648 --> 00:09:18,697
in a wet t-shirt.
218
00:09:18,698 --> 00:09:20,418
Ah, you think
you know me, but...
219
00:09:20,419 --> 00:09:22,105
That's wet, all right.
220
00:09:22,105 --> 00:09:23,938
Keep us posted, Mike.
221
00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:28,442
Caitlin,
I wanted to apologize.
222
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,970
With all the commotion
around here,
223
00:09:29,971 --> 00:09:31,179
I haven't had a chance
224
00:09:31,180 --> 00:09:32,390
to make jokes
about you and Charlie.
225
00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:33,505
That's all right.
226
00:09:33,505 --> 00:09:34,683
No, it isn't.
227
00:09:34,684 --> 00:09:36,465
You count on me
for juvenile humor
228
00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:39,109
and I've let you down.
But I want you to know,
229
00:09:39,109 --> 00:09:40,955
I'm working on a variation
of the old
230
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,090
"Charlie and Caitlin
sitting in a tree" thing.
231
00:09:43,091 --> 00:09:44,268
I don't want to spoil it,
232
00:09:44,269 --> 00:09:46,036
but I won't be spelling
"kissing."
233
00:09:47,771 --> 00:09:49,604
I'm gonna go
over here now.
234
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,789
Caitlin.
These are for you.
235
00:09:53,790 --> 00:09:55,636
Charlie, those are
the mayor's flowers.
236
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,515
Not anymore.
237
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,265
Now they're yours.
238
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,730
Romantic, huh?
239
00:10:00,731 --> 00:10:03,498
It's cute the way
you're trying so hard.
240
00:10:04,998 --> 00:10:06,749
Hey, the mayor's on TV.
241
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,997
REPORTER: Mr. mayor,
Mr. mayor, a picture.
242
00:10:09,997 --> 00:10:11,048
The voters should like this.
243
00:10:11,049 --> 00:10:13,054
Ah, that's sweet.
244
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:15,688
CARTER:
Ah, he's looking good.
245
00:10:17,577 --> 00:10:19,678
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
246
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,333
I said a little affection,
247
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,020
not cinemax after midnight.
248
00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:24,454
We've got a problem.
249
00:10:24,455 --> 00:10:26,651
Some guy just called complaining
about the mayor
250
00:10:26,651 --> 00:10:28,179
groping judge Simmons
in public.
251
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:30,663
How could it be a problem?
It's 2001.
252
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,765
Well, it was her husband.
That's one way.
253
00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:44,037
What do you mean she's only
technically married? She's separated,
254
00:10:44,037 --> 00:10:45,979
but her husband hasn't signed
the divorce papers yet.
255
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,253
I had no idea.
256
00:10:47,254 --> 00:10:48,813
Claire said
she didn't tell me,
257
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,999
well, because she didn't want
to complicate the beginnings
258
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,177
of our relationship.
259
00:10:53,178 --> 00:10:54,864
Why would a guy
not sign divorce papers?
260
00:10:54,865 --> 00:10:56,393
Is he trying
to set a record
261
00:10:56,393 --> 00:10:58,143
for most years married
with no sex?
262
00:10:58,144 --> 00:10:59,672
Well, if he is,
he should know
263
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:02,673
the road to that record
goes through me.
264
00:11:03,907 --> 00:11:05,053
Well, separated or not,
265
00:11:05,054 --> 00:11:06,901
the press is going
to run with this.
266
00:11:06,901 --> 00:11:09,353
We've got to get her husband
to sign those papers.
267
00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:10,626
Get on that for me, Ringo.
268
00:11:10,627 --> 00:11:12,441
Oh, because of my suit.
269
00:11:12,442 --> 00:11:16,454
I'll have you know that
this is the height of fashion.
270
00:11:16,454 --> 00:11:20,320
Yeah, if you're
an 18th century spice merchant.
271
00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:28,363
What are you doing?
272
00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:31,325
Oh, I was just wondering
what you had planned next...
273
00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:33,553
a big heart-shaped
box of chocolates,
274
00:11:33,554 --> 00:11:35,272
a giant stuffed
Teddy bear?
275
00:11:35,273 --> 00:11:37,438
Or maybe Paul
dressed up like cupid.
276
00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:40,405
Real nice. Make fun
of the intimacy gimp.
277
00:11:41,452 --> 00:11:43,107
And I may not know
what romance is,
278
00:11:43,107 --> 00:11:44,252
but I do not it's not Paul
279
00:11:44,253 --> 00:11:45,919
wearing little wings
and a diaper.
280
00:11:46,992 --> 00:11:48,326
Too late, Paul.
281
00:11:56,672 --> 00:12:00,078
So, you want me to sign
my divorce papers
282
00:12:00,078 --> 00:12:03,039
so the mayor can date Claire
without causing a scandal?
283
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,588
That's how it lays out,
sport.
284
00:12:05,588 --> 00:12:07,020
Here's a little tip...
285
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,886
she used to love the way
I nibbled on her ears.
286
00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:11,319
Sir, I am a gentleman,
287
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,090
and I'd prefer that you
behave like one, too.
288
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,522
Thank you.
289
00:12:15,523 --> 00:12:18,257
Nibble... Ears...
290
00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:21,318
Look, if you don't
sign those papers,
291
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:22,624
this whole thing
is going to turn
292
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:23,835
into one big media frenzy.
293
00:12:23,835 --> 00:12:25,966
Funny. That's exactly
what my publisher said.
294
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:27,081
Your publisher?
295
00:12:27,082 --> 00:12:29,279
I've decided to write a book
about all this.
296
00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,730
It should come out, uh,
right before the election.
297
00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:33,641
Come on. You don't really
want to do that.
298
00:12:33,642 --> 00:12:35,711
Don't try to talk him
out of it.
299
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,654
Let him write
his trashy book.
300
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:40,106
Hand it out at the polls.
We don't care.
301
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,380
Actually, we do care.
302
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,321
You know what?
I'll even help.
303
00:12:43,322 --> 00:12:44,914
I'll write a chapter called
304
00:12:44,915 --> 00:12:47,281
"I haven't had an orgasm
since 1992."
305
00:12:48,481 --> 00:12:51,824
Last night was really close.
306
00:12:51,825 --> 00:12:54,526
Really close!
307
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,516
If you'll excuse me...
308
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:01,801
I have a lot of writing
to do.
309
00:13:03,288 --> 00:13:05,166
I can't believe
I married that guy.
310
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,758
Don't let this
upset you, Claire.
311
00:13:06,759 --> 00:13:09,306
The important thing right now
is that we take the high road.
312
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:10,674
You're right.
313
00:13:11,981 --> 00:13:14,433
I won't stoop
to his level.
314
00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:15,452
Bye.
315
00:13:15,453 --> 00:13:18,668
That's my girl.
I'll call you.
316
00:13:18,668 --> 00:13:20,929
She's a pistol.
317
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,540
Sir, being involved
with a married woman
318
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,214
is going to be a tough sell
to the voters.
319
00:13:26,215 --> 00:13:28,285
I hate to say this,
320
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,003
but I think you have to
stop seeing her.
321
00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:32,742
Charlie, this is
the first good relationship
322
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:33,889
I've had in years.
323
00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:35,958
Claire is beautiful,
intelligent,
324
00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:37,073
caring.
325
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:40,003
Come on, be a guy,
hook me up.
326
00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:41,245
Launching a campaign
327
00:13:41,246 --> 00:13:42,932
during a scandal like this
is suicide.
328
00:13:42,933 --> 00:13:44,333
I disagree.
329
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:46,276
In this day and age,
voters are very forgiving.
330
00:13:46,276 --> 00:13:47,741
Then why is the mayor's
approval rating
331
00:13:47,742 --> 00:13:49,173
down eight points
since the story broke?
332
00:13:49,174 --> 00:13:50,447
I say we ride it out.
333
00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:52,422
And I respect the mayor
for being so committed
334
00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:54,332
to a woman, and I think
the voters will, too.
335
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,962
Sir, as mayor, you're able
to help millions of people.
336
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,427
We can't jeopardize that.
337
00:13:59,428 --> 00:14:02,095
Oh, damn it, Charlie,
I know you're right.
338
00:14:03,598 --> 00:14:06,114
There are other fish
in the sea, sir.
339
00:14:06,115 --> 00:14:07,483
Well, that may be so,
340
00:14:07,484 --> 00:14:09,776
but Claire is
a very special fish.
341
00:14:09,776 --> 00:14:11,591
Yes, but you are
a very skilled fisherman.
342
00:14:11,592 --> 00:14:14,626
Don't try to change
the subject.
343
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:21,782
Hey, Mike.
344
00:14:21,782 --> 00:14:23,819
Hey, Charlie.
345
00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:25,410
Two more.
346
00:14:25,411 --> 00:14:26,525
So, how's it going?
347
00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:27,799
Not so well.
348
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,060
I told the mayor to be
a little more affectionate
349
00:14:30,061 --> 00:14:32,194
with his girlfriend
in public, and...
350
00:14:32,195 --> 00:14:35,824
he made out with her
and grabbed her ass on TV.
351
00:14:35,824 --> 00:14:37,384
You saw that on the news?
352
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:39,932
No, I worked with the guy
for five years.
353
00:14:39,932 --> 00:14:42,224
I didn't know that was
his "go to" move.
354
00:14:42,225 --> 00:14:44,804
You get him around
a pretty woman,
355
00:14:44,804 --> 00:14:47,829
he's on her like a schnauzer
on a pant leg.
356
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:50,376
So how'd you handle it?
357
00:14:50,376 --> 00:14:51,905
I told him
he had to stop seeing her.
358
00:14:51,906 --> 00:14:53,401
You'd have made
the same call, right?
359
00:14:53,402 --> 00:14:55,057
Absolutely,
that's what I would have done.
360
00:14:55,058 --> 00:14:56,523
But see, that was my problem.
361
00:14:56,523 --> 00:14:58,814
I was always putting work
in front of relationships.
362
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,661
See, my priorities
were all screwed up.
363
00:15:00,662 --> 00:15:02,731
I don't know
if they're screwed up.
364
00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:03,909
You know how it is.
365
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:06,457
Sometimes relationships
have to take a back seat.
366
00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:09,197
So how do you like
being deputy mayor?
367
00:15:09,197 --> 00:15:10,883
Oh, it's great,
it's great.
368
00:15:10,884 --> 00:15:13,494
You get all
the stress of being mayor
369
00:15:13,494 --> 00:15:16,461
without the burden
of credit, money, and power.
370
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,946
No, seriously, it's been
a real second chance for me.
371
00:15:20,946 --> 00:15:23,302
Yeah, you know,
I heard about your exploits
372
00:15:23,303 --> 00:15:24,767
down in Washington.
373
00:15:24,768 --> 00:15:26,646
You gotta tell me this...
did you really...
374
00:15:26,646 --> 00:15:28,302
yes.
375
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:32,696
Whatever it is,
I'm sure I did it.
376
00:15:32,696 --> 00:15:35,243
I tell you, you got
quite the legacy around here.
377
00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:37,122
My first month
all I heard was,
378
00:15:37,122 --> 00:15:38,140
"Mike's brilliant.
379
00:15:38,141 --> 00:15:40,625
"Mike's a tough negotiator.
380
00:15:40,626 --> 00:15:43,300
Mike's the sweetest boy
with the cutest button nose."
381
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,483
I told my mom
not to call you.
382
00:15:46,484 --> 00:15:47,789
Not that you need it,
383
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,955
but if I was gonna give you
any advice,
384
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,311
this is it, okay?
Keep the mayor happy.
385
00:15:52,312 --> 00:15:55,241
If he's happy, the rest of it
just falls into place.
386
00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:57,215
I'll keep that in mind.
387
00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,872
I'm glad we talked.
388
00:15:58,873 --> 00:16:01,387
Yeah, me too.
389
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:03,042
Hey, Charlie?
390
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:04,953
Yeah.
391
00:16:04,954 --> 00:16:07,554
Our knees are touching.
392
00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,716
What should we do?
393
00:16:10,717 --> 00:16:12,946
On the count of three,
I say we just swivel.
394
00:16:12,946 --> 00:16:14,888
1...
2...
395
00:16:14,889 --> 00:16:15,889
3.
396
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,235
Nice.
397
00:16:26,926 --> 00:16:29,696
You should all be
very proud of yourselves
398
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,574
for winning
the city championship.
399
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,943
[CHEERING]
400
00:16:32,944 --> 00:16:36,129
The lessons that you learn
on the field of play
401
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:39,120
will help you throughout
your entire lives.
402
00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:41,605
And remember, kids,
enjoy this now,
403
00:16:41,605 --> 00:16:43,196
because win or lose,
404
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:45,903
more than half of you
are going to end up
405
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:47,238
divorced and alone.
406
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,443
Sir.
407
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:52,973
Hmm? Oh, hey, Charlie.
408
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:55,673
Just giving them
the old knute rockne.
409
00:16:56,795 --> 00:16:57,813
I heard.
410
00:16:57,814 --> 00:16:59,341
Very inspirational.
411
00:16:59,341 --> 00:17:00,519
What's up?
412
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,067
Don't break things off
with Claire.
413
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:06,060
Date her, be seen with her,
whatever you want.
414
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,302
What about the election?
415
00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:09,053
It'll make things tougher,
but so what?
416
00:17:09,054 --> 00:17:10,455
We'll just work harder.
417
00:17:10,456 --> 00:17:12,461
Claire makes you happy,
and that's all that matters.
418
00:17:12,461 --> 00:17:14,912
Thank you, Charlie.
And trust me,
419
00:17:14,913 --> 00:17:18,224
with Claire by my side,
I'll be a better candidate,
420
00:17:18,224 --> 00:17:19,753
more focused than ever.
421
00:17:19,754 --> 00:17:21,122
I'll see you Monday.
422
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,555
Uh, today's Wednesday.
423
00:17:22,556 --> 00:17:24,289
Yeah, I know.
424
00:17:29,242 --> 00:17:31,471
I am proud to say that yes,
425
00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:34,719
judge Simmons and I do have
a personal relationship.
426
00:17:34,719 --> 00:17:36,406
Legally she's still married,
427
00:17:36,407 --> 00:17:38,699
but come on, people, let's be
realistic about this...
428
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,941
her marriage was finished
429
00:17:39,942 --> 00:17:41,502
when she got separated
over a year ago.
430
00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:43,125
Now it's just paperwork.
431
00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:45,131
REPORTER: Judge Simmons,
anything to add?
432
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:47,934
I'd simply like
to thank the mayor
433
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:51,723
for his dignified handling
of this delicate matter.
434
00:17:51,724 --> 00:17:52,724
Thank you.
435
00:17:57,487 --> 00:17:59,176
Okay.
436
00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:01,850
We'll just change
the campaign slogan
437
00:18:01,851 --> 00:18:04,237
to "Winston loves
new yorkers...
438
00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:05,351
One at a time."
439
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,626
Charlie, I'm proud of you.
440
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,664
That was a very sweet thing
you did for the mayor.
441
00:18:08,665 --> 00:18:10,925
You're a real softie.
Don't get carried away.
442
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:14,173
I realized it'd be tough to win
with a depressed mayor.
443
00:18:14,174 --> 00:18:15,892
My decision was 99% political.
444
00:18:15,892 --> 00:18:18,312
And one percent sweet?
445
00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:20,573
Maybe one percent sweet,
446
00:18:20,574 --> 00:18:22,834
and sweet byproducts.
447
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:27,356
Well, I, uh,
I find that one percent...
448
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,381
Very attractive.
449
00:18:30,382 --> 00:18:34,202
Actually, when I run
the numbers through my head,
450
00:18:34,202 --> 00:18:37,387
the sweet part comes out
closer to 20%.
451
00:18:37,388 --> 00:18:40,667
Really? I like 20%.
452
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,928
Then you're gonna love this,
453
00:18:42,929 --> 00:18:45,030
because it was 100% sweet.
454
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:47,416
Do you hear that?
455
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,850
Hear what?
456
00:18:48,851 --> 00:18:51,083
I think it's the sound
of a window opening.
457
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:53,499
The window's open?
458
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,091
Yes.
459
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,970
It's because I did
the right thing
460
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,307
for the mayor, right?
461
00:18:58,308 --> 00:19:00,759
I was like a sensitive guy,
and that turns you on...
462
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,593
shh, shh.
Don't analyze it.
463
00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:06,484
Just go with it.
464
00:19:10,854 --> 00:19:13,114
Guess what!
Mike found Allison!
465
00:19:13,115 --> 00:19:15,313
Oh, Mike,
really, that's great.
466
00:19:15,313 --> 00:19:16,935
And that's not even
the best part.
467
00:19:16,936 --> 00:19:18,209
Go ahead,
tell her, Mike.
468
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:20,043
He proposed!
They're getting married.
469
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,795
Wow, Carter,
that was amazing.
470
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:24,451
I didn't even feel
my lips move.
471
00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:27,412
Sorry, Mike.
Congratulations.
472
00:19:27,412 --> 00:19:29,679
Oh, what the hell?
473
00:19:31,011 --> 00:19:33,612
Let's... let's...
let's go celebrate.
474
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,000
They're just killing me.
475
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:34,967
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
476
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,168
(BARKING)
477
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:38,635
Moo.
478
00:20:38,685 --> 00:20:43,235
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