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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,200
Stuart, you're packing up?
2
00:00:03,132 --> 00:00:05,699
Well, it was a pleasure
working with you.
3
00:00:05,615 --> 00:00:07,315
You are a unique individual.
4
00:00:07,269 --> 00:00:09,302
I didn't get fired.
5
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:12,143
Carter, it was a pleasure
working with you.
6
00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:14,210
You're a unique individual.
7
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:16,278
We emptied out
our storage unit.
8
00:00:16,213 --> 00:00:19,547
Oh, cool...
my old duck phone!
9
00:00:19,427 --> 00:00:20,994
I remember those.
10
00:00:20,956 --> 00:00:22,355
They don't ring, they quack.
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,524
Actually, this one's
a factory reject.
12
00:00:24,456 --> 00:00:25,690
It barks.
13
00:00:25,666 --> 00:00:27,033
Wow!
14
00:00:27,002 --> 00:00:28,535
Listen to this...
15
00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:31,131
"from the moment
I laid eyes on you,
16
00:00:31,044 --> 00:00:33,478
"I saw my future in your face.
17
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,533
"I saw the person
I hoped to become
18
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,968
"and what we can become
together.
19
00:00:37,887 --> 00:00:39,553
Love always...Stuart."
20
00:00:39,509 --> 00:00:41,177
You wrote that drivel?
21
00:00:42,566 --> 00:00:45,233
Charlie, this is sweet.
Women love this stuff.
22
00:00:45,144 --> 00:00:46,610
Make me a copy.
23
00:00:47,977 --> 00:00:50,310
Who is "my darling Anne"?
24
00:00:50,236 --> 00:00:51,503
No one.
25
00:00:51,477 --> 00:00:54,177
It was just a writing assignment
for a class.
26
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:58,021
Was part of the assignment
to marinate it in old spice?
27
00:00:57,874 --> 00:00:59,274
It's not that bad.
28
00:00:59,244 --> 00:01:02,244
I'm getting a whiff over here.
29
00:01:02,139 --> 00:01:04,405
Why don't you guys mind
your own business?
30
00:01:41,891 --> 00:01:44,591
How can my approval ratings
be down?
31
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:47,302
We think it's because
you haven't come through
32
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,840
on all your campaign promises.
33
00:01:49,753 --> 00:01:53,120
Today every new yorker enjoys
lower crime and cleaner streets.
34
00:01:52,998 --> 00:01:54,765
True, but they still don't have
35
00:01:54,718 --> 00:01:56,718
their New York City
team jackets.
36
00:01:56,659 --> 00:02:00,793
I had no idea
that would cost $70 million.
37
00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:02,871
If your ratings drop lower,
we could lose support
38
00:02:02,802 --> 00:02:05,036
to renovate
the central park zoo.
39
00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,732
That zoo means a lot to me.
40
00:02:06,685 --> 00:02:09,185
It's where
my dad took me as a kid.
41
00:02:09,104 --> 00:02:11,870
It's where I discovered
my love for pandas.
42
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,567
It's where I lost my virginity.
43
00:02:16,455 --> 00:02:19,856
I hope those last two
aren't related.
44
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,954
Don't worry, sir.
45
00:02:21,929 --> 00:02:23,996
To boost your approval rating,
46
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,101
I've hired you
an image consultant.
47
00:02:26,036 --> 00:02:28,236
You did what?!
I wasn't notified.
48
00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:30,202
Why do I need to notify you
about every decision?
49
00:02:30,142 --> 00:02:32,608
To make sure
things get done right.
50
00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:34,562
I'm as qualified
to make decisions as you.
51
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:36,002
I am communications director!
52
00:02:35,965 --> 00:02:37,165
I'm the deputy mayor.
53
00:02:37,143 --> 00:02:38,843
And I'm the mayor.
54
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:44,342
I thought we were announcing
our job titles.
55
00:02:44,209 --> 00:02:47,443
Hello.
I'm Julia rhodes.
56
00:02:47,328 --> 00:02:49,727
Charlie Crawford.
57
00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:51,918
I hope you can light up
the mayor's image
58
00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:53,647
the way you light up a room.
59
00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:56,765
I'm sorry... did I walk into
happy hour at bennigan's?
60
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,086
I'm mayor Winston.
61
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,287
Nice to meet you.
62
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,496
It's an honor, sir.
63
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,439
Work on handshake.
64
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:06,049
Well, I didn't squeeze hard
because you're a woman.
65
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:08,249
Can be condescending.
66
00:03:08,175 --> 00:03:10,275
Sir, Julia set up a focus group
67
00:03:10,212 --> 00:03:13,078
to try to isolate
the problem with your image.
68
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,814
A focus group?
Oh, I have to warn you,
69
00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:16,463
I don't take criticism well.
70
00:03:16,418 --> 00:03:18,351
Doesn't take criticism well.
71
00:03:18,296 --> 00:03:20,962
Oh, come on!
I just gave you that one!
72
00:03:22,497 --> 00:03:25,097
Sorry. I get a little
carried away sometimes.
73
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:27,612
I'm just really excited
about working with you.
74
00:03:27,525 --> 00:03:30,226
Sir, we have that 11:00.
Julia, I'll see you at lunch.
75
00:03:30,135 --> 00:03:33,135
Well, thank you.
76
00:03:33,031 --> 00:03:34,232
Better.
77
00:03:37,774 --> 00:03:40,574
How's this thing work, exactly?
78
00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:41,945
Test, test.
79
00:03:41,911 --> 00:03:44,111
Charlie Crawford...
80
00:03:44,043 --> 00:03:46,943
555-0153.
81
00:03:46,845 --> 00:03:49,178
Charlie, I have a strict rule
82
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:51,738
about dating
people I work with...
83
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,150
I have to like them.
84
00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:55,614
So I'd appreciate it
85
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,700
if you'd picture me
more as a co-worker
86
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,801
than as a woman
you're attracted to.
87
00:04:02,758 --> 00:04:05,658
It's not working.
88
00:04:07,818 --> 00:04:09,586
Caitlin...
89
00:04:09,537 --> 00:04:11,304
Guess who's playing cupid.
90
00:04:11,256 --> 00:04:12,689
Oh, no.
91
00:04:12,656 --> 00:04:14,890
You always set me up with
guys who you want to date.
92
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:15,821
Like who?
93
00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,307
That Filipino bodybuilder
94
00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:18,805
who designed dog clothes.
95
00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:23,606
I should call him.
96
00:04:23,509 --> 00:04:25,843
No, no... I'm talking
about Stuart and Anne...
97
00:04:25,768 --> 00:04:27,935
the girl from his letter.
I looked her up.
98
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:30,570
She still lives in New York.
She'll be here any minute.
99
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,578
I don't know
about this one, cupid.
100
00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:35,083
I know my hookups
haven't worked in the past,
101
00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,566
but I've got a hunch
about this one.
102
00:04:39,837 --> 00:04:42,503
What the hell
are you doing here?
103
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,281
Surprise!
104
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:46,517
Hello, Stuart.
105
00:04:46,489 --> 00:04:48,722
Your friend Carter called
and invited me.
106
00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:51,052
Carter, Caitlin,
this is Anne...
107
00:04:50,975 --> 00:04:52,608
Hi, Anne...
108
00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,034
my ex-wife.
109
00:04:54,954 --> 00:04:58,054
Surprise!
110
00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:01,713
Carter, could I speak to you
for a minute?
111
00:05:06,476 --> 00:05:08,209
What were you thinking?!
112
00:05:08,162 --> 00:05:09,596
You were married?!
113
00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:11,330
How could you not tell me?
114
00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:13,848
Oh, yes, let's make this
about you.
115
00:05:15,101 --> 00:05:17,235
Feel free to use
my office, guys.
116
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:19,770
Anne is the last person
on earth I want to see.
117
00:05:19,684 --> 00:05:21,984
That woman made me gain
over 100 pounds!
118
00:05:21,912 --> 00:05:23,345
Why?
119
00:05:23,312 --> 00:05:25,946
Nothing I did was ever
good enough for her.
120
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,826
The worse I felt,
the more I ate.
121
00:05:27,768 --> 00:05:31,168
Don't even have to knock...
just come on in.
122
00:05:31,046 --> 00:05:34,113
Well, it's been a long time.
Maybe she's changed.
123
00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:35,140
Oh, please.
124
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:36,354
At least talk to her.
125
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:38,096
It'll be therapeutic.
126
00:05:38,049 --> 00:05:39,782
Okay, I'll talk to her.
127
00:05:39,735 --> 00:05:41,169
There you go.
128
00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:44,936
Mi office, su office.
129
00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,866
Okay, we're ready.
Remember, sir...
130
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,872
you can see the focus group,
but the group cannot see you.
131
00:05:51,765 --> 00:05:54,065
This whole thing
is a complete waste of time.
132
00:05:53,993 --> 00:05:55,626
Charlie, I can hear you.
133
00:05:55,585 --> 00:05:57,019
I know.
134
00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:01,610
What's Paul doing in there?
135
00:06:01,536 --> 00:06:04,470
Well, sometimes focus groups
can develop a mob mentality.
136
00:06:04,369 --> 00:06:06,803
Paul's in there
to keep them on an even keel.
137
00:06:06,725 --> 00:06:10,124
He looks like the captain
without tennille.
138
00:06:11,148 --> 00:06:13,448
Here's a picture of the mayor.
139
00:06:13,377 --> 00:06:15,210
Tell me the first thing
that comes to mind.
140
00:06:15,158 --> 00:06:16,624
He looks distinguished.
141
00:06:16,591 --> 00:06:18,025
Like he's in charge...
142
00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:20,224
he knows
what he's talking about.
143
00:06:20,156 --> 00:06:22,256
So far, so good.
144
00:06:22,192 --> 00:06:23,959
But you know what?
145
00:06:23,911 --> 00:06:27,511
It looks like
he's gained some weight.
146
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,947
You know,
now that you mentioned it,
147
00:06:29,863 --> 00:06:31,329
he looks kind of fat.
148
00:06:31,295 --> 00:06:34,028
Like a fat cat.
149
00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:37,304
I bet he's never done
a hard day's work in his life.
150
00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:43,676
What is your impression
of the mayor here?
151
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:46,546
Hey, that's Charlie Crawford!
152
00:06:46,445 --> 00:06:48,411
Didn't he date
Claudia schiffer?
153
00:06:48,354 --> 00:06:50,754
No, he was with that
female volleyball player.
154
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,711
Oh.
155
00:06:51,696 --> 00:06:53,429
Beach volleyball player.
156
00:06:55,484 --> 00:06:58,651
How about that good-looking guy
on the mayor's left?
157
00:06:58,538 --> 00:07:00,506
I didn't even notice him.
158
00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:02,115
He's the press secretary.
159
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:03,605
Doesn't ring a bell.
160
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:06,567
No, but the big, fat mayor
rings a bell.
161
00:07:06,463 --> 00:07:08,530
Would my approval ratings
go down
162
00:07:08,468 --> 00:07:09,702
if I strangled Paul?
163
00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:12,345
They might go up.
164
00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:16,583
I was surprised
when Carter called me,
165
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:18,087
but I have to say,
166
00:07:18,049 --> 00:07:20,782
I was very moved
by the letter your wrote...
167
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,790
Despite the grammatical errors
168
00:07:22,728 --> 00:07:24,295
and sentimental clich�s.
169
00:07:24,255 --> 00:07:25,588
Thank you.
170
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,744
And you look different.
What is it?
171
00:07:28,679 --> 00:07:31,046
I lost 100 pounds.
172
00:07:30,971 --> 00:07:33,871
No...I think
it's the receding hairline.
173
00:07:36,922 --> 00:07:38,156
You know, Anne,
174
00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:40,599
Stuart is
the assistant deputy mayor,
175
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:41,719
a very important position.
176
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:44,097
So you've actually achieved
something?
177
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:46,153
My mother will be shocked.
178
00:07:46,089 --> 00:07:48,288
Oh, is she still alive?
179
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,088
Excuse me?
Nothing.
180
00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:52,668
I'm going to the ladies' room.
181
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,177
That woman is evil.
182
00:08:02,097 --> 00:08:04,264
Let's just leave.
183
00:08:04,198 --> 00:08:06,831
No. This is my chance
to finally show her
184
00:08:06,744 --> 00:08:09,443
that I'm not the same guy
she walked all over
185
00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:10,721
15 years ago.
186
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,157
That's very brave.
187
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:14,857
I'm getting
the hell out of here.
188
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:22,427
I can't believe
they didn't recognize me.
189
00:08:22,352 --> 00:08:24,552
I'm the press secretary.
I stand out.
190
00:08:24,485 --> 00:08:26,650
I command attention,
don't you think?
191
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:30,119
Why did you let me order
the kung pao chicken?
192
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:33,224
I said, "go chow mein,"
but you never listen.
193
00:08:33,109 --> 00:08:34,610
Hey, Angie...
194
00:08:34,574 --> 00:08:37,207
Do you think
I'm an interesting guy?
195
00:08:37,119 --> 00:08:40,353
I should get a manicure.
196
00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:43,409
So? So?
197
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,423
How'd it feel to tell her off?
198
00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:46,796
It was okay.
199
00:08:46,763 --> 00:08:49,130
Now you're ready
to get on with your life.
200
00:08:49,055 --> 00:08:51,454
Stuart, the stores close
in an hour.
201
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:54,277
You can talk
to your dumb friend later.
202
00:08:54,179 --> 00:08:55,779
Coming, honey.
203
00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:03,284
The results
from the focus group are in.
204
00:09:03,218 --> 00:09:05,918
I've prepared a comprehensive
48-page report.
205
00:09:05,827 --> 00:09:07,327
That sounds excessive.
206
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:09,258
Don't worry.
I've created a character
207
00:09:09,202 --> 00:09:11,235
called merv the monkey
to guide you through it.
208
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:14,727
We think we've zoned in
on the problem.
209
00:09:14,676 --> 00:09:16,676
You don't seem to be doing
well with women.
210
00:09:16,617 --> 00:09:19,584
Hey, I'm just going
through a dry spell.
211
00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:22,381
We've come to
two distinct conclusions.
212
00:09:24,892 --> 00:09:28,858
In this picture, women found you
reliable and sensitive.
213
00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:32,250
But in this picture...
214
00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:35,880
Women found you unreliable
and insensitive.
215
00:09:37,782 --> 00:09:39,849
Well, this is easy.
216
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:43,821
Let's just not show them
that picture.
217
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:49,027
So, in essence,
the mayor's wholesome image
218
00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:50,920
is being compromised
by the fact
219
00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:54,362
that women find Charlie
dangerous yet sexually enticing,
220
00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:57,136
and these findings
just scratch the surface.
221
00:09:57,037 --> 00:10:00,803
Well, clearly we need to do
more research.
222
00:10:00,665 --> 00:10:03,698
I'll need these women's names.
I'll need their numbers.
223
00:10:03,593 --> 00:10:06,060
Let me get this straight...
224
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:08,213
Charlie's getting
all the action,
225
00:10:08,145 --> 00:10:09,879
and I'm taking all the heat?
226
00:10:09,832 --> 00:10:10,932
Basically.
227
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,647
Any way we can reverse that?
228
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:17,522
I've got a meeting.
You all just keep me posted.
229
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:22,680
I don't find you that sexy.
230
00:10:22,626 --> 00:10:25,492
I prefer it that way, sir.
231
00:10:25,394 --> 00:10:28,394
Charlie, we need to change
the way women perceive you.
232
00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:30,858
You need to appear
more caring and sensitive.
233
00:10:30,774 --> 00:10:32,407
First thing...
234
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,698
We'll work on his smile.
235
00:10:34,625 --> 00:10:38,758
And...We need to change
that wardrobe.
236
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,103
Let's cinch up his tie.
237
00:10:40,068 --> 00:10:43,301
Hey, look, I'm not a doll
here for your amusement.
238
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,986
Oh, I bet he'd look cute
with bangs!
239
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,003
Oh.
240
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:47,621
Whoa, whoa! Back off!
241
00:10:47,578 --> 00:10:50,179
You're not going to wuss up
my appearance.
242
00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:53,125
I got more important things
to worry about than my looks.
243
00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:57,349
The most important thing
is that we get you
244
00:10:57,286 --> 00:10:59,186
some media exposure,
like a talk show...
245
00:10:59,131 --> 00:11:00,398
one popular with women
246
00:11:00,373 --> 00:11:02,806
so we can show
you can connect with them
247
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,261
on an interpersonal level.
248
00:11:04,224 --> 00:11:06,291
Who is this broad?
249
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,396
I'm the broad who was hired
to save your ass.
250
00:11:09,284 --> 00:11:11,651
Well,
according to your numbers,
251
00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:14,342
80% of women think
my ass is just fine.
252
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:17,914
Numbers don't lie!
253
00:11:19,661 --> 00:11:22,060
You have been hostile
to Julia from the start.
254
00:11:21,983 --> 00:11:24,716
Because this idea of yours
is idiotic.
255
00:11:24,625 --> 00:11:26,192
I am not gonna get petty,
256
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,354
but one thing is clear
from her research...
257
00:11:28,285 --> 00:11:30,119
people like me better than you.
258
00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:32,767
I'm not gonna pretend to be
somebody I'm not.
259
00:11:32,678 --> 00:11:34,678
Your image
is hurting the mayor,
260
00:11:34,619 --> 00:11:36,152
so drop the vanity act.
261
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:48,864
I figured out why the focus
group didn't recognize me.
262
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,817
I'm too stable, too successful.
263
00:11:50,755 --> 00:11:52,155
People are intrigued
264
00:11:52,124 --> 00:11:54,323
by celebrities who are flawed.
265
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,456
I need to come up with a flaw.
266
00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:59,556
Gee, let's brainstorm on that
for about eight seconds.
267
00:11:59,444 --> 00:12:01,577
I wonder how long it would take
268
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,613
to develop a drinking problem.
269
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,417
Remember, I want you
ready to go by 7:00.
270
00:12:06,319 --> 00:12:07,785
I will be.
271
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:09,751
Is that your duck phone?
272
00:12:09,692 --> 00:12:13,625
I thought I made you get rid
of that years ago.
273
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,446
Oh, I just found it
in an old box
274
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:17,556
and thought I'd donate it
to charity.
275
00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:19,356
I'm not using it.
276
00:12:21,086 --> 00:12:22,786
I-I can't talk now.
277
00:12:27,579 --> 00:12:30,113
I will see you later.
278
00:12:30,030 --> 00:12:31,930
Oh... and wear a tie.
279
00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:35,098
But not one like that.
280
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:38,984
Stuart...
281
00:12:38,941 --> 00:12:40,308
Stuart!
282
00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:42,045
Stuart!!
283
00:12:45,943 --> 00:12:49,110
You're letting Anne
take over your life.
284
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,637
That's just an excuse.
285
00:12:53,582 --> 00:12:55,715
Carter...
286
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,283
You listen to me.
287
00:12:58,197 --> 00:13:01,864
Anne is just giving me
direction!
288
00:13:03,385 --> 00:13:05,752
I mean, I should have
my own office.
289
00:13:05,676 --> 00:13:09,310
And I should be making
more money.
290
00:13:09,177 --> 00:13:11,577
And I should be breaking off
291
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,934
all contact with my parents.
292
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:22,027
My next guest is spearheading
several new programs
293
00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:24,576
that will make life easier
for women in this city.
294
00:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,823
And besides that,
he's a real cutie patootie.
295
00:13:26,749 --> 00:13:29,850
Please welcome the deputy mayor
of New York, Charlie Crawford!
296
00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:36,607
How are you?
297
00:13:36,584 --> 00:13:37,851
Good.
298
00:13:37,824 --> 00:13:39,824
Nice to see you.
Thanks for being here.
299
00:13:39,766 --> 00:13:41,601
Thank you.
300
00:13:41,549 --> 00:13:43,815
How are you, Charlie?
301
00:13:43,744 --> 00:13:45,778
I'm so honored
to be on the show.
302
00:13:45,718 --> 00:13:47,818
You do so much
for women's issues,
303
00:13:47,754 --> 00:13:49,855
and I feel so strongly
about that.
304
00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:52,525
What exactly do you mean
by "women's issues"?
305
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:56,067
When a man watches football
and something bad happens,
306
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,167
he'll yell something
at the tv like, "come on!"
307
00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:01,020
But women are different.
308
00:14:00,963 --> 00:14:02,896
They can have babies.
309
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,640
So...
310
00:14:04,591 --> 00:14:07,992
I guess that's
what I'm trying to say.
311
00:14:07,869 --> 00:14:09,236
A little bird told me
312
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:11,372
that you were dating
Claudia schiffer.
313
00:14:11,307 --> 00:14:13,540
Any truth in that?
'Cause she is gorgeous.
314
00:14:15,031 --> 00:14:18,130
All I know is that she's
beautiful on the inside.
315
00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:19,723
On the inside?
316
00:14:19,678 --> 00:14:22,144
Hey, if I looked like her,
I'd be butt naked every day
317
00:14:22,065 --> 00:14:24,031
in the frozen-food section
of a&p.
318
00:14:23,974 --> 00:14:25,773
You know what I mean?
319
00:14:25,724 --> 00:14:28,525
Listen, up next is
a single mother from new Jersey
320
00:14:28,429 --> 00:14:31,096
who raised five children
on a paralegal's salary
321
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,974
and then took down big tobacco.
322
00:14:32,918 --> 00:14:34,651
Oh...
323
00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:35,871
What?
324
00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:39,178
Her story...is so moving.
325
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:43,164
Somebody get him a hankie.
326
00:14:43,102 --> 00:14:44,436
We're gonna take a break,
327
00:14:44,407 --> 00:14:46,407
and we'll be right back
after this...Message.
328
00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:57,040
I don't wanna talk about Anne.
329
00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:58,410
I won't say a thing.
330
00:14:58,376 --> 00:15:00,943
I'll just let these
do the talking.
331
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:05,453
Oh, my God.
332
00:15:05,346 --> 00:15:09,780
The big jeans.
333
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:12,671
The day I bought these
334
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:15,301
was the second-most
embarrassing day of my life.
335
00:15:15,213 --> 00:15:17,179
What was the first?
336
00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:19,789
The day I had them let out.
337
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,333
Stu, I don't get it.
338
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:23,192
Why would you want to be
339
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:26,504
with a woman
who does this to you?
340
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,250
Look...
341
00:15:28,197 --> 00:15:30,897
Anne was beautiful.
342
00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:32,608
She was popular.
343
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,458
And when I married her,
344
00:15:34,405 --> 00:15:37,871
for the first time in my life,
I felt like a winner.
345
00:15:37,746 --> 00:15:39,746
But you know
Anne's bad for you.
346
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,255
You gotta be strong, Stuart.
347
00:15:41,215 --> 00:15:44,048
You gotta cut her loose...
Just like I did with Doug.
348
00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:47,386
Didn't he leave you
for a male nurse named Hector?
349
00:15:47,262 --> 00:15:49,462
Hey, we're talking
about you, not me, fatty!
350
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,166
Stuart, do you wanna be
a winner,
351
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,219
or do you wanna end up
riding a minibike
352
00:15:55,156 --> 00:15:57,223
in the "guinness book
of world records"?
353
00:15:57,161 --> 00:15:59,094
I don't wanna be that guy.
354
00:15:59,039 --> 00:16:01,772
Stuart...
355
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,346
You're a great guy.
356
00:16:04,289 --> 00:16:06,589
You deserve better than her.
357
00:16:06,518 --> 00:16:07,618
Stuart!
358
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,934
You're not ready!
We're supposed to meet
359
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,627
my mother for lunch!
360
00:16:11,578 --> 00:16:13,178
I'm not going.
361
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,572
Anne, ever since you got here,
362
00:16:15,493 --> 00:16:18,193
you've done nothing
but make me feel small,
363
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:19,569
and...I'm sick of it.
364
00:16:19,535 --> 00:16:21,635
Honey, I know I seem critical,
365
00:16:21,571 --> 00:16:24,172
but it's only because
I care about you.
366
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:26,186
It's like you said
in your letter...
367
00:16:26,124 --> 00:16:28,289
we're meant for each other.
368
00:16:31,119 --> 00:16:32,820
Hey...Stop it!
369
00:16:32,775 --> 00:16:34,141
What?
370
00:16:34,112 --> 00:16:35,646
I like my hair!
371
00:16:35,608 --> 00:16:38,341
I like my job!
372
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:39,483
And you know what?
373
00:16:39,459 --> 00:16:40,892
I like weighing myself
374
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:43,126
on a scale that's not used
for livestock.
375
00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:46,664
Anne, I'm over you,
376
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,586
and...
377
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:51,530
I think we should both...
Move on.
378
00:16:51,425 --> 00:16:55,492
If I leave now,
you'll never see me again.
379
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:57,773
Goodbye.
380
00:17:03,011 --> 00:17:07,477
You, uh...Wanna go grab
a beer?
381
00:17:07,307 --> 00:17:09,808
No. I'm drained.
382
00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:12,826
I think
I'm just gonna lie down.
383
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:30,766
Oh, Charlie...
384
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,865
I think you still have
some makeup left over
385
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,234
from the "Rosie" show.
386
00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:36,401
Why don't you go
into the ladies' room
387
00:17:36,334 --> 00:17:37,734
and freshen up?
388
00:17:39,453 --> 00:17:40,753
Nice one, sir.
389
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:42,426
In all seriousness, Charlie,
390
00:17:42,381 --> 00:17:45,014
you going on television
and acting that way...
391
00:17:44,927 --> 00:17:46,860
it meant a lot to me.
392
00:17:46,805 --> 00:17:49,072
In many ways, I see you...
393
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,901
As the daughter I never had.
394
00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:55,736
Very clever, sir.
395
00:17:55,684 --> 00:17:58,950
I always enjoy a good ribbing.
396
00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:00,335
Hey, Charlie...
397
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,033
Does that sweater come
with a matching skirt?
398
00:18:04,564 --> 00:18:05,964
Paul...
399
00:18:05,933 --> 00:18:08,532
Mean isn't funny.
400
00:18:10,898 --> 00:18:12,264
I hope you're happy now.
401
00:18:12,234 --> 00:18:15,068
That was a complete disaster.
402
00:18:14,972 --> 00:18:17,438
I thought it was
very informative.
403
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,059
I didn't know
women could have babies.
404
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,235
Giving me that makeover was
a bad idea, and you knew it.
405
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,553
Okay, maybe I did.
406
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,320
Why did you make me do it?
407
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,870
Because you were such a jerk
about this focus-group stuff.
408
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:31,907
If I was a little arrogant,
I'm sorry.
409
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,306
But that is part of the reason
410
00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:36,027
why the average New York woman
411
00:18:35,978 --> 00:18:37,944
has had 2.3 fantasies
about me.
412
00:18:37,888 --> 00:18:40,821
I am burning these results.
413
00:18:43,711 --> 00:18:45,677
Well, we got
some new polling data.
414
00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:47,888
The good news is
you're up 1% with women.
415
00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:50,051
The bad news is
you're down 20% with men.
416
00:18:49,982 --> 00:18:51,182
But I've got a fix.
417
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,626
How do you feel
about riding a bull?
418
00:18:53,546 --> 00:18:56,713
It sounds a little out there,
419
00:18:56,601 --> 00:19:00,167
but... hey, you've earned
my trust.
420
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,673
Charlie, your image
still needs a lot of work.
421
00:19:02,585 --> 00:19:04,252
What is your problem with me?
422
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,375
I don't have a problem
with you.
423
00:19:06,309 --> 00:19:08,942
I'm simply reacting to data
from the focus group.
424
00:19:08,854 --> 00:19:10,854
Stop hiding
behind these numbers.
425
00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:13,164
Admit it...
you don't like me.
426
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:15,021
Fine. I don't like you.
427
00:19:14,966 --> 00:19:16,198
You don't even know me.
428
00:19:16,175 --> 00:19:17,475
Oh, I know you.
429
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,448
You're the guy
who dumped me in high school,
430
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,290
slept with my roommate
in college,
431
00:19:21,235 --> 00:19:23,135
and stood me up
last new year's Eve.
432
00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:27,223
Carol?
433
00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:29,289
I've dated guys like you
all my life.
434
00:19:29,224 --> 00:19:30,690
You're sexy and charming,
435
00:19:30,657 --> 00:19:32,623
but the minute
things get serious,
436
00:19:32,566 --> 00:19:35,266
you're out the door.
Well, I am through with that.
437
00:19:35,177 --> 00:19:36,342
Congratulations.
438
00:19:44,979 --> 00:19:46,512
Ooh!
439
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:56,750
Soft lips...Minty breath...
440
00:19:56,627 --> 00:20:00,061
Perfect pressure...
441
00:19:59,938 --> 00:20:02,437
You weren't too bad either.
442
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:08,400
Before we start
the regular briefing,
443
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,173
I have an intriguing
personal revelation to make.
444
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,577
It might make
an interesting story,
445
00:20:13,495 --> 00:20:14,962
maybe a movie of the week.
446
00:20:14,928 --> 00:20:18,894
I, Paul lassiter...
Am a sex addict.
447
00:20:18,748 --> 00:20:21,048
I will now take any questions.
448
00:20:20,975 --> 00:20:22,408
Yeah?
449
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:25,008
Um, when will
the new subway cars be ready?
450
00:20:27,086 --> 00:20:29,219
Aw, who cares?
451
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:29,736
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
452
00:21:29,786 --> 00:21:34,336
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