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1
00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:04,270
Hey. How was your weekend?
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,004
Nonexistent... the mayor
asked me to prepare a report.
3
00:00:06,894 --> 00:00:09,328
I spent the whole time
in this chair.
4
00:00:09,237 --> 00:00:12,637
Wow... 48 hours
without female companionship.
5
00:00:12,499 --> 00:00:15,298
I never said that.
6
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:17,923
Tell him you're overworked.
He'll understand.
7
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,250
Caitlin, things like
talking and understanding
8
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,394
only work for women.
9
00:00:21,363 --> 00:00:24,430
Guys don't do all that
"blah blah."
10
00:00:24,307 --> 00:00:25,907
Which reminds me,
11
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,593
I went into your desk and took
a couple caffeine pills.
12
00:00:28,488 --> 00:00:32,121
Those pills are for pms.
13
00:00:35,643 --> 00:00:40,210
Well, they don't work.
14
00:00:40,012 --> 00:00:43,745
I'm still cranky.
15
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:45,956
This is ridiculous.
At least let me help you.
16
00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:47,236
No, I gotta do it myself.
17
00:00:47,199 --> 00:00:49,599
I can't pawn off my work
on somebody else.
18
00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:51,843
The mayor and the city
are counting on me.
19
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:54,625
We're all counting on you,
Batman.
20
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:22,563
Where's Paul?
21
00:01:22,533 --> 00:01:23,999
The meeting
starts at 10:00.
22
00:01:23,957 --> 00:01:26,057
I'd like to point out
that I was on time.
23
00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:28,351
Because I told you
the meeting started at 9:00.
24
00:01:29,436 --> 00:01:31,402
Hey, guys.
25
00:01:31,335 --> 00:01:32,567
Paul, is that a new suit?
26
00:01:32,538 --> 00:01:33,671
Yeah. How'd you know?
27
00:01:33,645 --> 00:01:36,479
The baggie with buttons
was a tip-off.
28
00:01:36,369 --> 00:01:39,036
Hey, watch it, watch it,
watch it with that coffee.
29
00:01:38,934 --> 00:01:40,934
I'm taking this thing back
tomorrow.
30
00:01:40,864 --> 00:01:44,264
Hold on... new suit,
your power tie...
31
00:01:44,126 --> 00:01:45,759
today's the bagel.
32
00:01:46,785 --> 00:01:47,951
What's the bagel?
33
00:01:47,925 --> 00:01:50,258
Every year Paul asks
the mayor for a raise,
34
00:01:50,174 --> 00:01:51,540
and every year he gets...
35
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:53,502
The bagel.
36
00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:54,600
Not this year!
37
00:01:54,574 --> 00:01:56,841
This year I am not taking no
for an answer.
38
00:01:56,759 --> 00:02:00,225
Nor am I taking
"are you kidding?,"
39
00:02:00,083 --> 00:02:04,283
"what, are you high?
," or "no hable ingl�s."
40
00:02:04,104 --> 00:02:05,271
Sorry I'm late...
41
00:02:05,244 --> 00:02:08,244
it's my turn to lose
to the mayor in racquetball.
42
00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,191
Nice suit.
43
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,769
Hey! Is today the bagel?
44
00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,677
Well, my plans are all set.
45
00:02:17,624 --> 00:02:18,956
What plans?
46
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,521
Carter's got a hot date
for the gay ball.
47
00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:23,323
It is not a gay ball.
48
00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:28,259
It's a formal dance gala for
alternative-lifestyle artists.
49
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,341
I'd go with "gay ball."
50
00:02:31,205 --> 00:02:34,073
It sounds less gay.
51
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:37,109
Better be home by midnight,
52
00:02:37,063 --> 00:02:39,497
or your miata
will turn into a pumpkin.
53
00:02:39,406 --> 00:02:43,606
At least my dates don't show up
with a manager and a boombox.
54
00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:46,094
Actually, Carter,
you don't have a date.
55
00:02:45,992 --> 00:02:48,425
Sean just called.
He had to cancel.
56
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,269
Canceled?
Uh! It's tonight.
57
00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:52,736
How am I supposed to get
another date
58
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,106
at such short notice?
59
00:02:54,065 --> 00:02:56,998
Carter, I'm flattered,
but, uh...
60
00:02:56,882 --> 00:02:59,016
I got too much work to do.
61
00:02:58,941 --> 00:03:01,475
How about you, Caitlin?
62
00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:03,645
Do you know anybody?
63
00:03:03,564 --> 00:03:05,597
You're kind of choosy.
64
00:03:05,526 --> 00:03:08,393
Choosy? All I want is a guy
who's smart, well-traveled,
65
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,514
rugged yet stylish,
66
00:03:09,484 --> 00:03:11,918
who prefers to read proust
in French.
67
00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:14,227
Let's just open the phone book
and pick a name.
68
00:03:15,215 --> 00:03:17,415
Angie, can you help?
69
00:03:17,336 --> 00:03:19,536
Sure. I'll get Caitlin
the phone book.
70
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,302
Hey.
71
00:03:24,207 --> 00:03:25,706
Why aren't you asking me
for help?
72
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,297
Stuart, I don't trust
you to pick out produce.
73
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,869
You don't know any gay people.
74
00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:32,090
This is New York.
75
00:03:32,059 --> 00:03:35,226
You can't swing a tank top
without hitting a gay guy.
76
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:38,098
I don't want just any guy.
He has to be special.
77
00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:40,446
I said no.
78
00:03:45,831 --> 00:03:47,264
Let it go.
79
00:03:51,911 --> 00:03:57,844
"43% of the 1999 surplus
equals $611,4..."
80
00:03:57,578 --> 00:03:59,844
we're 15 minutes late
for our 1:30
81
00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:01,762
at the 21 club on 52nd street.
82
00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:08,367
Thanks.
83
00:04:08,311 --> 00:04:09,678
I'm too busy to go to lunch.
84
00:04:09,641 --> 00:04:11,140
Oh, hey, guys.
85
00:04:11,097 --> 00:04:13,330
You know what today is?
86
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,983
Yes, sir. I know.
The report's due.
87
00:04:14,928 --> 00:04:18,362
No, it's the bagel.
88
00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:22,754
This year my top three
rejection choices are
89
00:04:22,559 --> 00:04:26,492
the fake-somber,
"I'm sorry, but no,"
90
00:04:26,326 --> 00:04:27,593
the mislead...
91
00:04:29,175 --> 00:04:30,642
"no,"
92
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:33,667
or my personal favorite,
the al Pacino...
93
00:04:33,545 --> 00:04:34,911
"hoo-ah!"
94
00:04:36,046 --> 00:04:38,012
"No."
95
00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:39,679
I always liked
the Gary Coleman...
96
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:41,257
"what you talkin' 'bout,
Paul?!"
97
00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:44,607
Yeah, that's good.
98
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:48,101
I feel like I could blow off
some steam before the bagel.
99
00:04:47,951 --> 00:04:50,851
How about we play
a little racquetball?
100
00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,203
Sir, I don't know.
101
00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:55,061
You have too much work?
Nothing I can't handle.
102
00:04:54,948 --> 00:04:56,981
Good! Then I guess
you'll have time
103
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,877
to summarize
these reports for me.
104
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,410
Great. Now I've got
even more work,
105
00:05:02,356 --> 00:05:04,223
which I can't do
because I'll be too busy
106
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,661
trying to lose in racquetball.
107
00:05:05,617 --> 00:05:08,150
Talk to him, or you'll be
complaining behind his back
108
00:05:08,055 --> 00:05:09,256
but smiling to his face.
109
00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,494
Oh, and can you
pick up a can of balls?
110
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,111
Love to.
111
00:05:19,264 --> 00:05:22,064
Caitlin, I appreciate you
helping me find Carter a guy.
112
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,755
The linen hut is definitely
the right place to look.
113
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:27,045
Let's get to it.
114
00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:28,990
Excuse me.
115
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,421
I'm looking for the gay people.
116
00:05:32,594 --> 00:05:35,393
You might want to be
more subtle.
117
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,651
I'll lay out some bait.
118
00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:39,231
* I'll tumble for ya
119
00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:40,812
* I'll tumble for ya
120
00:05:40,761 --> 00:05:43,294
* I'll tumble...
121
00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:46,233
let me handle this.
I can tell when a man's gay.
122
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,379
How?
I send out "the look."
123
00:05:48,297 --> 00:05:50,764
If I don't get the look back,
we move in for the kill.
124
00:05:50,671 --> 00:05:53,639
Let's give this one a try.
125
00:06:05,362 --> 00:06:09,596
Hi. I couldn't help noticing,
but you're gay, aren't you?
126
00:06:09,415 --> 00:06:10,781
No, I'm not.
127
00:06:10,744 --> 00:06:12,412
Excuse me, but, yes, you are.
128
00:06:16,286 --> 00:06:19,019
A couple years of therapy...
129
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:20,980
he'll figure it out.
130
00:06:28,728 --> 00:06:30,595
Too good, sir.
131
00:06:30,534 --> 00:06:34,333
Ahh. Come on, Charlie!
Put up a fight!
132
00:06:39,144 --> 00:06:41,778
Too much tabasco, huh?
133
00:06:41,678 --> 00:06:45,010
Maybe you should spend
a little more time practicing
134
00:06:44,875 --> 00:06:47,075
and a little less time
shuffling papers.
135
00:06:46,996 --> 00:06:49,163
Shuffling papers.
136
00:06:49,087 --> 00:06:51,053
Come on, Nancy boy.
137
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:52,819
Show me somethin'.
138
00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:16,602
I thought
you were left-handed.
139
00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:18,338
Not anymore.
140
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:26,152
I can't wait for you
to meet this guy.
141
00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:27,435
He's perfect!
142
00:07:27,397 --> 00:07:30,064
If you don't take him, I will.
143
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:32,494
I'll believe it when I see it.
144
00:07:32,398 --> 00:07:33,932
Back off. He's mine.
145
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,787
Robert, this is Carter.
Carter, Robert.
146
00:07:36,674 --> 00:07:37,974
Hey. Good to meet you.
147
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:39,974
Are those madeleines?
148
00:07:39,933 --> 00:07:40,933
Yes.
149
00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:43,316
These cookies
remind me of proust.
150
00:07:43,227 --> 00:07:46,193
"The taste was that of
the little piece of Madeleine,
151
00:07:46,077 --> 00:07:47,810
"Which started
Sunday mornings at combray."
152
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:50,787
I love proust!
153
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,234
But only
in the original French.
154
00:07:52,187 --> 00:07:53,920
Yes!
155
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,933
What's this proust stuff?
Is that like gay porn?
156
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:00,961
Would you like to go
and get a cup of coffee?
157
00:08:00,885 --> 00:08:01,852
Sure.
158
00:08:04,811 --> 00:08:06,678
Caitlin...
159
00:08:08,008 --> 00:08:09,676
How's it goin'?
160
00:08:09,624 --> 00:08:11,324
Why are you
in such a good mood?
161
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:13,970
Oh, I just beat the mayor
at racquetball.
162
00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:15,933
It was exactly what I needed.
163
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:19,227
Are you crazy?
Nobody beats the mayor.
164
00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:20,690
I don't know why.
165
00:08:20,642 --> 00:08:22,142
He sucks.
166
00:08:22,099 --> 00:08:24,065
Once my competitive instincts
kicked in,
167
00:08:23,998 --> 00:08:25,163
I couldn't help myself.
168
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,204
People let him win
to build his confidence.
169
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,998
Caitlin, give the mayor
some credit.
170
00:08:28,937 --> 00:08:30,638
He's not gonna lose
his confidence
171
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:32,517
over a couple of games
of racquetball.
172
00:08:32,452 --> 00:08:36,118
For eight straight years
you've turned me down.
173
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:37,199
Well, no more.
174
00:08:37,169 --> 00:08:39,269
Mr. mayor, I want a raise.
175
00:08:39,196 --> 00:08:41,962
Okay.
176
00:08:44,229 --> 00:08:46,029
And a rowing machine.
177
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:47,704
Sure.
178
00:08:47,649 --> 00:08:50,448
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
179
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:52,706
Charlie, do something.
180
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:57,253
I'm gonna go take
some more of your pills.
181
00:08:57,358 --> 00:08:59,391
You couldn't tell the mayor
he was overworking you.
182
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,354
You had to keep it all pent up.
183
00:09:01,284 --> 00:09:02,984
Now he can't say no to anybody.
184
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,630
This morning he bought $500
of beauty products
185
00:09:05,527 --> 00:09:07,293
from some pushy avon lady.
186
00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:09,237
If he wants to buy
a little hand cream,
187
00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:10,535
what's the harm?
188
00:09:10,498 --> 00:09:12,265
Do I smell apricot?
189
00:09:12,207 --> 00:09:15,807
Yeah. Feel this.
I'm turning back the clock.
190
00:09:15,658 --> 00:09:17,225
We have a major
budget negotiation,
191
00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:19,712
and the mayor's gonna cave in
just like he caved in to Paul.
192
00:09:19,616 --> 00:09:21,616
The only thing Paul's gonna get
out of the mayor
193
00:09:21,547 --> 00:09:23,214
is a foaming citrus bath balm.
194
00:09:25,284 --> 00:09:26,751
Hey, guys!
195
00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:30,075
Charlie, you've gotta give
the mayor a rematch,
196
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,138
and you've gotta let him win.
197
00:09:32,059 --> 00:09:34,759
Fine. Paul, you got
that press release?
198
00:09:36,523 --> 00:09:38,057
Thanks.
199
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,244
Hey. I met Robert.
You did a great job.
200
00:09:40,164 --> 00:09:42,564
I'm shocked, because
when I left the store,
201
00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:43,942
you were getting desperate.
202
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,301
What are you talking about?
I had a plan.
203
00:09:46,212 --> 00:09:48,546
You were on the loudspeaker
shouting,
204
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:49,926
"will the man in tight pants
205
00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:51,385
report
to customer service?"
206
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,507
It was a stampede,
207
00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:55,763
but none of them were right
for Carter.
208
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,945
What does Robert do?
209
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,879
He's an actor.
210
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:02,246
Really? Have I seen him
in anything?
211
00:10:02,105 --> 00:10:06,439
Well, last night he played
the role of Carter's boyfriend.
212
00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:07,719
You hired an actor?!
213
00:10:07,677 --> 00:10:09,311
I told him everything to say.
214
00:10:09,261 --> 00:10:10,593
That proust stuff... mine.
215
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,360
Here's the kicker...
216
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,767
he's not even gay.
217
00:10:13,725 --> 00:10:16,858
I'm brilliant.
I thought of everything.
218
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:19,433
What if Carter likes him
and wants to see him again?
219
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,263
I didn't think of that.
220
00:10:21,197 --> 00:10:23,764
Well, you said it yourself...
Carter is very choosy.
221
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:25,766
Chances are he won't want
to see him again.
222
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:28,193
It was a mahogany
roll-top writers' desk
223
00:10:28,099 --> 00:10:30,199
that I saw
on "antique roadshow."
224
00:10:30,125 --> 00:10:32,025
You watch "antique roadshow"?
225
00:10:31,962 --> 00:10:34,428
It's my favorite program.
226
00:10:34,336 --> 00:10:36,403
Hi, guys.
227
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,665
The mayor wants to see you.
228
00:10:37,629 --> 00:10:41,162
Probably wants to discuss
some high-level strategy.
229
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:48,102
What the hell are you doing?
I booked you for one night only.
230
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,084
But my agent told me
that if I can play gay,
231
00:10:50,009 --> 00:10:51,842
it'll open up
a lot of opportunities.
232
00:10:51,782 --> 00:10:54,215
I can't get training like this
anywhere else.
233
00:10:54,124 --> 00:10:56,325
You can't lead Carter on
like this.
234
00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:59,446
Now, you tell him it's over.
Just...Let him down easy.
235
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:00,551
You know what I'll do?
236
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,721
I'll give him
a little of the breakup
237
00:11:02,641 --> 00:11:04,708
of "the Bridges
of Madison county,"
238
00:11:04,636 --> 00:11:06,137
and then I'll bring it home
239
00:11:06,093 --> 00:11:08,393
with the raw emotion
of "the way we were."
240
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,276
Are you sure you're not gay?
241
00:11:10,209 --> 00:11:12,274
That guarantees
my extra vacation.
242
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:16,236
And, uh, just sign right there
243
00:11:16,065 --> 00:11:17,599
to approve
my saltwater fishtank.
244
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:19,620
Paul, somebody wants you
outside.
245
00:11:19,549 --> 00:11:21,382
Who?
246
00:11:21,321 --> 00:11:23,488
Everybody in here.
247
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:30,509
Somebody just lost
his rowing privileges.
248
00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:32,580
Sir, if you're not too busy,
249
00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:33,798
I thought we could squeeze in
250
00:11:33,764 --> 00:11:35,431
a little rematch
this afternoon.
251
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:38,112
You should feel good
about yourself, Charlie.
252
00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:40,741
You beat a man twice your age
with a bad hamstring
253
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:41,868
fair and square.
254
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,566
Charlie,
could you give us a second?
255
00:11:46,428 --> 00:11:48,728
His hamstring was fine.
256
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:53,146
Sir, that was very big of you.
257
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,246
That's the kind of guy I am.
258
00:11:56,117 --> 00:11:58,051
What did I do?
259
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,851
You let Charlie beat you
at racquetball,
260
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:02,090
and you're selflessly
letting him savor victory.
261
00:12:02,007 --> 00:12:03,906
Everyone in the office
is talking about it.
262
00:12:03,843 --> 00:12:05,043
Are they?
263
00:12:05,014 --> 00:12:06,681
Yes! I mean,
can't you see it?
264
00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:08,996
You've never lost.
You must have thrown this one.
265
00:12:08,908 --> 00:12:12,608
Well, of course I did.
266
00:12:12,455 --> 00:12:15,987
And obviously there's
a good reason why I did that?
267
00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:18,342
Clearly you sensed
that Charlie was down
268
00:12:18,249 --> 00:12:20,282
and needed a little ego boost.
269
00:12:20,211 --> 00:12:22,111
You see right through me.
270
00:12:22,839 --> 00:12:26,239
Whoo! Way to go, Mr. mayor.
271
00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:28,000
I am on fire.
272
00:12:27,937 --> 00:12:32,136
Just let him win.
273
00:12:31,957 --> 00:12:34,358
Just let him win.
274
00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:37,236
Ugh!
275
00:12:39,113 --> 00:12:41,646
Nice shot, sir.
276
00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:42,817
Thank you.
277
00:12:42,786 --> 00:12:44,752
That was a horrible shot.
278
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:46,019
Charlie's better than that.
279
00:12:45,984 --> 00:12:47,950
Wait a second.
280
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,917
He's trying to let me win.
281
00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:52,746
He's trying to bethe bigger man.
282
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:54,232
I'm the bigger man.
283
00:12:54,184 --> 00:12:56,584
I'll show him how to lose.
284
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,884
Excellent play, Charlie.
285
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:10,720
Eat that, sucker.
286
00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,465
Hey, Carter, I got...
oh.
287
00:13:14,416 --> 00:13:15,715
What are you doing here?
288
00:13:15,682 --> 00:13:17,316
Carter and I
just finished dinner.
289
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:18,499
He's out getting ice cream.
290
00:13:18,468 --> 00:13:20,202
You're supposed to break up
with him.
291
00:13:20,146 --> 00:13:21,846
I was going to,
but my agent called.
292
00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:24,759
I'm up for the part
of a gay hit man.
293
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,241
Nobody manipulates my roommate,
294
00:13:26,193 --> 00:13:29,093
especially some guy I hired
to pretend to be his boyfriend.
295
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,646
No. When Carter gets back,
296
00:13:30,594 --> 00:13:32,927
tell him you're going
to Costa Rica
297
00:13:32,841 --> 00:13:34,309
to save the rain forest.
298
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:35,733
Carter will love that.
299
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:37,192
Hey, guys.
300
00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:38,614
I got mint chocolate chip.
301
00:13:38,573 --> 00:13:43,240
Can you believe we have
the same favorite ice cream?
302
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:45,971
I checked the freezer
and improvved.
303
00:13:45,855 --> 00:13:47,788
Hey, Carter...
304
00:13:47,723 --> 00:13:52,689
Robert has something
he has to tell you.
305
00:13:52,473 --> 00:13:54,072
What is it?
306
00:13:54,024 --> 00:13:55,657
My name isn't Robert.
307
00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:59,648
It's...Eduardo artiste,
308
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:03,432
and I am an openly gay hit man.
309
00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:05,668
Wow.
310
00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:07,546
What a shocking ending
311
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,946
to a brief but wonderful
relationship.
312
00:14:10,803 --> 00:14:12,270
Adios, Eduardo.
313
00:14:12,229 --> 00:14:14,229
What the hell's going on here?
314
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,893
I couldn't find you a date,
so...
315
00:14:16,787 --> 00:14:18,188
I hired an actor.
316
00:14:25,843 --> 00:14:27,243
Ooh!
317
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:28,970
Oh, my God.
318
00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:30,681
He's gotten worsesince yesterday.
319
00:14:32,903 --> 00:14:35,103
Come on, Charlie.Concentrate.
320
00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,557
Find the will to lose.
321
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,966
Great match, sir.
You were too good today.
322
00:15:09,854 --> 00:15:11,154
Yep, too good.
323
00:15:11,122 --> 00:15:13,621
Mayor wins racquetball...
everything back to normal.
324
00:15:13,526 --> 00:15:15,927
You couldn't let me lose,
could you, Crawford?
325
00:15:15,838 --> 00:15:17,638
You had to be the bigger man.
326
00:15:17,579 --> 00:15:19,013
With all due respect, sir,
327
00:15:18,973 --> 00:15:22,074
this whole racquetball thing
has gotten a little weird.
328
00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:24,983
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some more work to do.
329
00:15:24,863 --> 00:15:28,062
Yeah, go do work!
That's what you're good at!
330
00:15:27,933 --> 00:15:29,367
What is wrong, sir?
331
00:15:29,326 --> 00:15:32,293
Can't you be bad at anything?!
332
00:15:34,170 --> 00:15:38,070
I'm pretty bad at knowing what
the hell you're talking about!
333
00:15:39,997 --> 00:15:42,697
Carter,
you can't ignore me forever.
334
00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:45,025
Let me get you a cup of coffee.
335
00:15:44,935 --> 00:15:47,703
Will it be coffee or tea
acting like coffee?
336
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:49,295
Would you relax?
337
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,241
Do you know what it's like
to be with someone
338
00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,139
who's there
because he's being paid?!
339
00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:56,024
Bad example.
340
00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:59,818
But I have never been more livid
in my entire life!
341
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:00,724
Carter, easy, easy.
342
00:16:00,703 --> 00:16:01,903
I don't want to hear you!
343
00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:04,274
I don't want to see you!
Stay out of my life!
344
00:16:04,185 --> 00:16:06,085
Carter, don't get so riled up.
345
00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:09,288
We all know Stuart can be
insensitive from time to time,
346
00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:10,489
but that's who he is.
347
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:12,985
Okay.
I can take it from here.
348
00:16:12,886 --> 00:16:15,320
And every once in a while
he thinks it's funny
349
00:16:15,229 --> 00:16:17,962
when he sews an anchovy
into the lining of your jacket
350
00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:19,757
so you get kicked off
the airplane
351
00:16:19,693 --> 00:16:21,893
because you're making
all the passengers sick!
352
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,948
Easy, Paul.
353
00:16:22,923 --> 00:16:24,456
I don't want to hear from you!
354
00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,577
I don't want to see you!
Stay out of my life!
355
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,855
Heh heh heh.
356
00:16:31,787 --> 00:16:36,421
So, uh, was it worth it,
Stuart?
357
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,030
Did you get a big laugh
at my expense?
358
00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:40,675
I was just trying
to do you a favor.
359
00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:41,888
By humiliating me?
360
00:16:41,857 --> 00:16:43,122
How do you think I felt
361
00:16:43,090 --> 00:16:45,190
when I offered help
and you laughed?
362
00:16:45,116 --> 00:16:48,383
In what world would I go to
Stuart bondek to find me a guy?!
363
00:16:48,252 --> 00:16:51,818
You don't know the first thing
about me or what I want.
364
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,137
So I suppose
it was just a coincidence
365
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,079
that Robert liked Miles Davis,
"antique roadshow,"
366
00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:58,491
and mallomar cookies.
367
00:16:58,446 --> 00:17:00,913
You think you know me so well...
what's my favorite book?
368
00:17:00,821 --> 00:17:01,987
"Grapes of wrath."
369
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,127
Favorite monopoly piece?
370
00:17:03,101 --> 00:17:04,067
The shoe.
371
00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:05,318
Favorite movie?
372
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,185
You claim it's "citizen Kane,"
373
00:17:07,121 --> 00:17:08,888
but it's really "meatballs."
374
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,106
Oh, my God.
375
00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:15,490
34 years old,
376
00:17:15,449 --> 00:17:18,716
and the person
who knows me best
377
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:22,917
is an emotionally stunted
porn enthusiast.
378
00:17:22,731 --> 00:17:26,930
I prefer
"adult-film aficionado."
379
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,385
And you're 35.
380
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,375
Look, I'm sorry about Robert.
381
00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:36,506
It was a stupid idea.
382
00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:38,376
Are we okay?
383
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,374
Yeah.
384
00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:42,286
Yeah, yeah, we're okay.
385
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,394
Favorite strongman event?
386
00:17:46,318 --> 00:17:47,651
The log toss.
387
00:17:47,616 --> 00:17:48,950
Damn!
388
00:17:48,914 --> 00:17:50,580
Come on!
389
00:17:52,650 --> 00:17:56,118
Sir, is this a bad time?
390
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,841
No. What's on your mind?
391
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:01,546
Uh, about what happened
before...
392
00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:04,656
why...Won't...This...Break?!
393
00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:06,424
Sir, if I may?
394
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:11,027
The key is to get it
right above the handle.
395
00:18:13,863 --> 00:18:18,296
Feel like a big man now,
Mr. racket breaker?
396
00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:22,272
Sir, I think maybe it's time
that we try to communicate.
397
00:18:22,095 --> 00:18:23,262
What are you, a girl?
398
00:18:26,971 --> 00:18:29,437
What do you want from me?
399
00:18:29,345 --> 00:18:31,345
You ask me to play
racquetball... I play.
400
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,877
You pile work on me...
I do it.
401
00:18:32,829 --> 00:18:34,795
Not once do I complain
or ask for help.
402
00:18:34,728 --> 00:18:36,060
Did it ever occur to you
403
00:18:36,026 --> 00:18:38,326
that I wanted you
to ask me for help...
404
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,875
that I'd like to feel needed?
405
00:18:39,825 --> 00:18:41,325
That's what's bothering you?
406
00:18:41,282 --> 00:18:44,282
Maybe.
407
00:18:44,163 --> 00:18:46,163
You gave me a chance
when no one else would.
408
00:18:46,094 --> 00:18:48,161
I wanted to show you
you didn't make a mistake.
409
00:18:48,089 --> 00:18:50,056
The truth is, sir,
410
00:18:49,989 --> 00:18:52,589
I can't do this job
without your help.
411
00:18:52,489 --> 00:18:55,256
I mean, I'm stressed out.
I haven't slept.
412
00:18:55,149 --> 00:18:59,216
Oh, you're just saying that
to make me feel good.
413
00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:02,776
No. I'm losing hair.
I'm developing an ulcer.
414
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:05,321
Well, that's fantastic!
415
00:19:05,218 --> 00:19:06,951
Don't get your hopes up,
416
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:10,329
but my cholesterol levels
are dangerously high.
417
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,660
Well, so it's decided, then.
418
00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:17,510
From now on, we're
going to help each other...
419
00:19:17,344 --> 00:19:18,777
work as a team.
420
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,055
I'm glad we had this talk.
421
00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:26,306
Do me a favor?
422
00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:27,405
If Caitlin asks,
423
00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:29,614
we settled this
by arm-wrestling.
424
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:34,500
Ooh, you are losing hair.
425
00:19:35,772 --> 00:19:37,804
I just purchased
a dwarf barracuda,
426
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:40,467
so I need you to sign this
so I can be reimbursed.
427
00:19:40,362 --> 00:19:42,228
Hoo-ah!
428
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,833
No.
429
00:19:43,781 --> 00:19:46,982
Sir, you can't return
a dwarf barracuda.
430
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,186
It's gonna take
all my pay raise
431
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,334
t-to pay for it.
432
00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:51,637
Talk to him, Charlie.
433
00:19:51,602 --> 00:19:54,335
What you talkin' 'bout, Paul?
434
00:20:01,259 --> 00:20:02,625
Just let him win.
435
00:20:02,587 --> 00:20:04,754
Just let him win.
436
00:20:04,677 --> 00:20:06,911
That's long enough.That's long enough.
437
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:09,397
Ooh.
438
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,441
Best two out of three?
439
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:15,484
Sure.
440
00:20:15,411 --> 00:20:16,910
Huh!
441
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,467
Just let him win.
442
00:20:18,419 --> 00:20:19,684
Just let him win.
443
00:20:20,571 --> 00:20:21,805
I mean...
444
00:20:21,774 --> 00:20:23,841
Just let him win.
445
00:21:28,345 --> 00:21:30,777
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
446
00:21:30,827 --> 00:21:35,377
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