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1
00:00:00,877 --> 00:00:03,311
Caitlin, Samantha called.
She's on her way up.
2
00:00:03,234 --> 00:00:05,000
Thanks, Angie.
Who's Samantha?
3
00:00:04,953 --> 00:00:07,987
A friend from my yoga class.
4
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:11,182
You never mentioned her.
Are you hiding her from me?
5
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:15,171
You're hiding her from me.
6
00:00:15,079 --> 00:00:17,612
Sam is not your type.
She's smart.
7
00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:21,357
Right... not attractive.
8
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,755
And funny.
9
00:00:22,721 --> 00:00:24,820
Gotcha... big girl.
10
00:00:28,165 --> 00:00:29,631
Hey, Caitlin.
11
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,831
Oh, Sam!
12
00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:36,397
Oh, yeah.
13
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:38,513
Uh, Sam, this is a guy
I work with.
14
00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:40,516
Guy I work with... Sam.
15
00:00:40,455 --> 00:00:42,956
Charlie Crawford.
Nice to meet you.
16
00:00:42,874 --> 00:00:44,108
Yeah, nice to meet you.
17
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,452
You're definitely not
as smart and funny
18
00:00:46,377 --> 00:00:47,944
as Caitlin said you looked.
19
00:00:47,905 --> 00:00:49,072
Thank you.
20
00:00:49,052 --> 00:00:51,386
You're not so smart and funny
yourself.
21
00:00:52,236 --> 00:00:54,169
So, you met at yoga?
22
00:00:54,114 --> 00:00:56,447
Yeah, I was in the middle
of a sun salutation
23
00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:58,408
when I spotted Caitlin
in bridge pose.
24
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:01,483
Maybe you gals
would like to demonstrate.
25
00:01:01,374 --> 00:01:04,574
Charlie, can I see you
in your office for a second?
26
00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:05,730
Be right back.
27
00:01:05,705 --> 00:01:06,904
I saw that!
28
00:01:06,881 --> 00:01:07,948
Saw what?
29
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:10,266
The old "nice to meet you."
30
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:12,094
Yeah, that was pretty rude.
31
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,173
Look, since I moved to New York,
I have been so busy working,
32
00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:17,565
I haven't had time
to make one good girlfriend.
33
00:01:17,485 --> 00:01:19,718
Sam and I got along
right from the start,
34
00:01:19,651 --> 00:01:21,484
and I don't want you
ruining it.
35
00:01:21,433 --> 00:01:23,266
All I said was
"nice to meet you."
36
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,100
Caitlin, we better get going.
37
00:01:26,049 --> 00:01:27,650
Nice to meet you, Charlie.
38
00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,176
My pleasure.
39
00:01:30,061 --> 00:01:32,362
Cut it out!
40
00:01:57,380 --> 00:01:59,847
How would you like an
all-expense-paid vacation
41
00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,102
to new Orleans?
42
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:03,808
You'll spend three days
and two jazz-filled nights
43
00:02:03,717 --> 00:02:05,417
in luxury at the
four seasons hotel...
44
00:02:05,372 --> 00:02:08,806
sir, I am not buying
any more magazine subscriptions
45
00:02:08,684 --> 00:02:09,818
from your nephew.
46
00:02:09,798 --> 00:02:10,831
No, no, no.
47
00:02:10,817 --> 00:02:12,417
This is the mayor's convention.
48
00:02:12,378 --> 00:02:13,611
This year,
49
00:02:13,588 --> 00:02:16,588
we're discussing social
isolation in the inner city.
50
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:20,185
Then it's off to the golf course
before we're too drunk to drive.
51
00:02:20,051 --> 00:02:22,285
I should probably stay here
and hold down the fort,
52
00:02:22,215 --> 00:02:24,816
as much as I'd love to caddy
for a bunch of blitzed mayors.
53
00:02:24,731 --> 00:02:26,531
Caitlin, how would
you like that?
54
00:02:26,482 --> 00:02:27,883
Oh, sorry, sir,
55
00:02:27,852 --> 00:02:30,151
I have important plans
with a friend this weekend.
56
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,413
But this could be
such a fun time.
57
00:02:32,341 --> 00:02:35,007
Who can I get to go
on such short notice?
58
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,121
Carter!
59
00:02:36,098 --> 00:02:37,131
Yes.
60
00:02:37,117 --> 00:02:39,883
Help me choose someone.
61
00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:41,625
My schedule is wide open, sir.
62
00:02:41,574 --> 00:02:44,241
Excellent.
You can feed my cats.
63
00:02:45,905 --> 00:02:48,038
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
64
00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:49,674
but I actually feel slighted.
65
00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:51,130
Sorry I'm late.
What'd I miss?
66
00:02:51,095 --> 00:02:52,928
Oh, Carter's pouting
because the mayor
67
00:02:52,877 --> 00:02:55,344
didn't invite him to
the conference in new Orleans.
68
00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:57,065
The big easy, huh?
Who's he taking?
69
00:02:57,017 --> 00:03:00,150
He asked Caitlin and Charlie,
but neither of them can go.
70
00:03:00,042 --> 00:03:02,675
An empty slot, huh?
71
00:03:02,589 --> 00:03:05,056
Finally... a chance
for advancement.
72
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:08,744
So I guess he's gonna have to
choose between one of us, huh?
73
00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:11,207
I guess it all comes down
to who's the biggest suck-up.
74
00:03:11,122 --> 00:03:12,823
Paul, believe me,
75
00:03:12,778 --> 00:03:16,244
sucking up
never gets you anywhere.
76
00:03:16,121 --> 00:03:18,154
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
77
00:03:18,096 --> 00:03:20,962
Whoa, Carter.
Man, you been working out?
78
00:03:20,865 --> 00:03:22,066
As a matter of fact, I have.
79
00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:25,776
Aaaah!
You guys are toast!
80
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,408
Charlie, I want to apologize.
81
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,360
I may have gone a little
overboard before about Sam.
82
00:03:30,258 --> 00:03:31,925
No problem.
83
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:34,549
I know how you work...
you'll hook up with Sam,
84
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:37,661
leave before the sun comes up,
and never call her again.
85
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,849
Then she'll be mad at you
and, by association, mad at me.
86
00:03:40,733 --> 00:03:43,100
Was that the apology?
87
00:03:44,332 --> 00:03:47,664
Because after "sorry,"
things went terribly awry.
88
00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:50,413
I have been down this road
before, and it's a mess.
89
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,650
I can see it coming.
90
00:03:51,623 --> 00:03:54,322
"Did Charlie ask about me?"
"Did he get my messages?"
91
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,834
And then I'm covering for you.
92
00:03:55,795 --> 00:03:58,394
"He's in Bermuda."
"He's in a coma."
93
00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:00,343
Then she's mad at me for lying.
94
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,850
We are not friends anymore,
95
00:04:01,811 --> 00:04:04,278
you two get back together,
and I'm the bad guy.
96
00:04:04,199 --> 00:04:06,599
No, thanks, Charlie!
I don't want any part of it!
97
00:04:06,523 --> 00:04:09,390
Apology accepted.
98
00:04:09,293 --> 00:04:11,560
I can't believe
the mayor hasn't asked me.
99
00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:13,824
Oh, I've always wanted
to go to new Orleans.
100
00:04:13,751 --> 00:04:16,184
It's a city where women
get topless for beads.
101
00:04:16,108 --> 00:04:19,608
A guy shouldn't go
if he'd rather have the beads.
102
00:04:19,483 --> 00:04:21,283
Gentlemen.
103
00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:23,833
Mr. mayor, as your head
of minority affairs,
104
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,816
my presence in new Orleans
would give voice
105
00:04:25,755 --> 00:04:27,821
to the diverse members
of your constituency.
106
00:04:27,761 --> 00:04:30,527
Mr. mayor, with all due respect
to my boring, gay colleague,
107
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,936
I should be the one
to go to the conference.
108
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,622
As assistant deputy mayor,
109
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:37,675
it's important for me
to...lnterface and, uh...
110
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,967
Ah, I just want to see
the boobies.
111
00:04:39,891 --> 00:04:41,692
You both make strong cases.
112
00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:42,809
What about Paul?
113
00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,357
Don't worry about Paul.
114
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,818
He's not interested
in new Orleans.
115
00:04:46,737 --> 00:04:48,570
And there you have it, folks.
116
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,988
Wham, bam, cajun, ma'am.
117
00:04:57,468 --> 00:04:59,535
Hi, Sam.
118
00:05:01,129 --> 00:05:02,795
What are you doing here?!
119
00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:04,554
Cool your chakras, Caitlin.
120
00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:10,774
I was invited by your
very flexible friend over there.
121
00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:13,287
Mind if I squeeze in here?
122
00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:15,930
This is a yoga class,
not a pickup bar.
123
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,407
People come here in pursuit
of peace and tranquility.
124
00:05:18,323 --> 00:05:20,857
If you think this little stunt
is gonna impress Sam,
125
00:05:20,775 --> 00:05:22,841
you're about to be
seriously embarrassed.
126
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,481
Yoga takes years to master.
127
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,159
Uhhh!
128
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,499
Nice form, Charlie.
129
00:05:29,466 --> 00:05:32,967
Thanks.
130
00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:35,642
Have you been doing yoga
behind my back?
131
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:38,215
It's just instinct...
like a mother who can lift a car
132
00:05:38,127 --> 00:05:40,027
to save the baby
trapped underneath.
133
00:05:39,974 --> 00:05:43,608
So you suddenly become a yoga
savant to impress a woman?
134
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,510
I once learned Swedish
on a transatlantic flight
135
00:05:46,406 --> 00:05:48,739
just to get
a model's phone number.
136
00:05:56,436 --> 00:05:58,037
Did it work?
137
00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:08,860
What are the odds?
138
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,201
I have put together
a list of questions
139
00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,600
that will help me determine
140
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:24,300
which of you will be
my ideal traveling companion.
141
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:28,109
What's the first thing you do
when we arrive in new Orleans?
142
00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:30,634
I've taken the liberty
of mapping out a walking tour
143
00:06:30,546 --> 00:06:32,379
that takes us past
certain cultural
144
00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:34,095
and historic points
of interest.
145
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,715
Spectravision.
146
00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:38,605
I'm Clay, sir.
Mold me.
147
00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:41,639
The convention's over, and we've
got the whole night ahead of us.
148
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:42,831
What would you do?
149
00:06:42,804 --> 00:06:45,537
The great author mark twain
once wrote of new Orleans...
150
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,380
Spectravision.
151
00:06:47,325 --> 00:06:48,759
I would buy you shrimp.
152
00:06:49,936 --> 00:06:52,103
That's it for today.
153
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,770
And remember,
breathing is the key to life.
154
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,947
Hey, don't short-sell
heavy panting.
155
00:06:59,138 --> 00:07:01,205
Well, this was really fun.
156
00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:03,711
Hey, Charlie, you want to share
a cab downtown?
157
00:07:03,628 --> 00:07:06,494
He lives uptown... 86 blocks
in the opposite direction.
158
00:07:06,398 --> 00:07:07,765
Oh.
159
00:07:07,735 --> 00:07:11,335
Well, then, uh, I could just
drop you off on the way.
160
00:07:11,205 --> 00:07:12,639
I don't know if I should...
161
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,906
oh, come on.
Okay.
162
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,235
Okay.
163
00:07:16,205 --> 00:07:17,305
I'll meet you out front.
164
00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:19,054
Later.
165
00:07:20,535 --> 00:07:22,468
Why are you ruining
my friendship?!
166
00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,480
We're just sharing a cab.
167
00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,152
Ohh!
168
00:07:26,106 --> 00:07:29,540
We both know you can't just
share a cab with a woman.
169
00:07:29,418 --> 00:07:31,685
I know how much
Sam's friendship means to you.
170
00:07:31,615 --> 00:07:33,848
I would never do anything
to jeopardize that.
171
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,613
Caitlin's going to kill me.
172
00:07:43,523 --> 00:07:46,557
Okay, I'd better tryto stay the night.
173
00:07:46,452 --> 00:07:48,786
I can do this.
174
00:07:48,713 --> 00:07:52,179
One Mississippi,two Mississippi,
175
00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,756
three Mississippi.
176
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:55,546
Okay, time to go.
177
00:07:55,495 --> 00:07:57,328
I need an excuse.
178
00:07:57,278 --> 00:08:00,178
I'll just give her the old"I got an early meeting."
179
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,913
That always works.
180
00:08:04,505 --> 00:08:06,472
God, she's so beautiful.
181
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:08,750
And I really enjoyedtalking to her tonight.
182
00:08:08,677 --> 00:08:11,176
Actually, this is pretty niceright now.
183
00:08:11,096 --> 00:08:12,730
Oh, my God.
184
00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:15,189
I think I'm cuddling.
185
00:08:15,108 --> 00:08:17,741
Maybe I do want to staythe night.
186
00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:19,189
Charlie?
187
00:08:19,153 --> 00:08:22,919
Here comes round two.
188
00:08:22,781 --> 00:08:24,381
Yes?
189
00:08:24,341 --> 00:08:29,975
I've got an early meeting.
Mind if I call you a cab?
190
00:08:29,755 --> 00:08:32,521
A cab?
Sure, I guess.
191
00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:34,696
Okay, just tell heryou'll give her a call.
192
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:37,360
I'll give you a call.
193
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:40,369
What the hell'sgoing on here?
194
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,534
Stuart! Can I ask you
a question about women?
195
00:08:48,408 --> 00:08:50,174
You?
196
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:53,060
Ask me about women?
197
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,127
It'd be an honor.
198
00:08:55,062 --> 00:08:57,362
You get dumped a lot, right?
199
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,657
Constantly.
200
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:01,550
How does that usually work?
201
00:09:01,493 --> 00:09:07,026
Well, there's
the drink in the face...
202
00:09:06,811 --> 00:09:08,677
The slap in the face...
203
00:09:09,835 --> 00:09:13,568
the whole abuse
of the face area.
204
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:16,134
And then there's the...
205
00:09:16,045 --> 00:09:18,511
wait. Why do you ask?
206
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:21,099
Last night, I went out
with Caitlin's friend Sam.
207
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,211
Tell me everything.
208
00:09:22,189 --> 00:09:23,389
Leave out no detail
209
00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:25,668
and feel free
to make some stuff up.
210
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:28,096
Let's just say we had
a pleasant evening,
211
00:09:28,016 --> 00:09:30,682
and I was home in time
to watch "nightline."
212
00:09:30,594 --> 00:09:33,128
Ooh, the quick getaway.
213
00:09:33,047 --> 00:09:34,947
Tsk!
214
00:09:34,894 --> 00:09:39,560
Which escape line did you use,
the old "morning meeting"?
215
00:09:39,383 --> 00:09:41,616
Actually, she had
the morning meeting.
216
00:09:43,554 --> 00:09:45,853
She told you
she had a morning meeting?
217
00:09:45,782 --> 00:09:48,016
People have morning meetings
all the time.
218
00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:51,248
Sure they do, buddy.
219
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,598
Stuart, it's not like that.
220
00:09:52,564 --> 00:09:54,665
I think we really made
a connection.
221
00:09:54,602 --> 00:09:58,203
I'm sure that's what she's
talking about at her "meeting."
222
00:09:58,073 --> 00:10:01,506
Okay...What happened
with Sam last night?
223
00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:02,918
Well, I...
224
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:05,748
You slept with her!
225
00:10:05,651 --> 00:10:09,551
Oh, I don't believe it.
He slept with my friend.
226
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,641
Then you should sleep
with one of his friends.
227
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,229
Or better yet,
an adorable co-worker.
228
00:10:15,139 --> 00:10:17,672
Caitlin, it's not
what you think.
229
00:10:17,591 --> 00:10:19,324
Yes.
230
00:10:19,278 --> 00:10:22,779
Sam had a morning meeting.
231
00:10:23,609 --> 00:10:25,909
Oh, my God!
232
00:10:25,838 --> 00:10:27,970
You got blown off!
233
00:10:27,906 --> 00:10:30,440
I did not get blown off.
234
00:10:30,359 --> 00:10:33,425
Who got blown off?
235
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,519
Charlie.
Charlie.
236
00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:38,886
Tell them there's such a thing
as a morning meeting.
237
00:10:41,853 --> 00:10:44,519
Charlie, you're
embarrassing yourself.
238
00:10:48,921 --> 00:10:51,022
Hi, this is Sam.Leave a message.
239
00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:53,811
Hi, Sam, it's Charlie again.
240
00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:56,295
Just curious
if you got my other messages.
241
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:58,846
I had a great time
the other night, and I...
242
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,060
Hello?
243
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,801
Mr. mayor,
you're on my line.
244
00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:03,586
I'm trying to leave a message.
245
00:11:03,536 --> 00:11:07,469
For who,
that woman who blew you off?
246
00:11:07,325 --> 00:11:08,526
Sir!
247
00:11:08,503 --> 00:11:11,069
Hey, how was
her "morning meeting"?
248
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:12,153
Heh heh.
249
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,106
Sam, let me explain
about that...
250
00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:18,185
Caitlin...
251
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:20,085
Have you talked to Sam today?
252
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:22,796
Yeah, I, uh, I talked to her
10 minutes ago.
253
00:11:22,704 --> 00:11:25,303
She's screening me.
That is so high school.
254
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,419
There's only one way
to handle this.
255
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:28,853
You call and ask for her,
256
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,050
then quickly hand the phone
back to me.
257
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,649
Okay, but what if
her mom answers?
258
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:36,649
What kind of person
takes someone home,
259
00:11:36,585 --> 00:11:37,852
has their way with them,
260
00:11:37,828 --> 00:11:39,995
then doesn't have the courtesy
to pick up a phone?
261
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:45,193
What kind of female person?
262
00:11:45,088 --> 00:11:47,554
I told you... I don't want
to get in the middle.
263
00:11:47,476 --> 00:11:48,442
Why not?
264
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:49,731
Because Sam is my friend.
265
00:11:49,704 --> 00:11:51,571
There's probably
50 women you can call
266
00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:53,286
that would go out with you
tonight.
267
00:11:53,238 --> 00:11:56,138
The point isn't
how many women I could call,
268
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,574
or the fact
that it's closer to 100.
269
00:12:00,403 --> 00:12:03,435
It's that I feel like I might
have something special with Sam.
270
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:04,565
Fine.
271
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:06,942
We're going out to dinner.
What do you want me to do?
272
00:12:06,866 --> 00:12:08,299
Talk me up a little bit.
273
00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:11,234
All she knows is I work
at city hall, I'm good at yoga,
274
00:12:11,132 --> 00:12:13,866
and I can hold the arching
lotus for half an hour.
275
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,309
You already mentioned yoga.
276
00:12:15,272 --> 00:12:16,871
That's not yoga.
277
00:12:18,647 --> 00:12:20,314
When you're done talking me up,
278
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,038
I'll accidentally run into you.
279
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:24,623
You fake a stomachache,
then I'll tell her how I feel.
280
00:12:24,537 --> 00:12:27,171
Next, you'll have me
lure her into my bed,
281
00:12:27,085 --> 00:12:29,184
and then you'll ask me
to leave.
282
00:12:29,121 --> 00:12:30,355
Caitlin!
283
00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,566
I would never ask you to leave.
284
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,497
Stuart was eliminated
from the competition.
285
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,766
What happened?
286
00:12:38,737 --> 00:12:40,804
The mayor didn't like
his essay...
287
00:12:40,743 --> 00:12:43,511
"things and people
I want to do in new Orleans."
288
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:46,418
It's just down to you and me
for the final interview.
289
00:12:46,315 --> 00:12:48,216
Yeah, I guess it is.
290
00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:50,362
So don't bother showing up...
291
00:12:50,295 --> 00:12:53,762
Unless you feel like
getting your ass kicked!
292
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,640
Oh, yeah, I guess
I better not show up.
293
00:12:56,537 --> 00:12:58,137
Yeah, you shouldn't show up.
294
00:12:58,097 --> 00:13:00,531
'Cause if you do,
you're gonna get a beatdown!
295
00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:03,886
Yeah, you're right about that.
296
00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:06,464
Paul, you're ruining
my megaphone trash talk.
297
00:13:06,374 --> 00:13:08,075
Why aren't you fighting back?
298
00:13:08,031 --> 00:13:11,765
Carter, whenever I get close
to winning something,
299
00:13:11,629 --> 00:13:13,228
I blow it.
300
00:13:13,189 --> 00:13:15,222
I used to be a winner.
301
00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:17,029
Then it happened.
302
00:13:16,977 --> 00:13:18,745
For the win,
"avocado."
303
00:13:20,002 --> 00:13:22,002
Panic auditory shutdown...
304
00:13:21,945 --> 00:13:24,878
otherwise knownas hysterical deafness.
305
00:13:24,778 --> 00:13:27,645
Could you use it in a sentence?
306
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:31,715
Uh, could I hear the Latin root
of the word, please?
307
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,727
Under intense competition,I lose my hearing completely.
308
00:13:37,228 --> 00:13:39,961
The word is "cat"...
"cat."
309
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,404
C-a...
310
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,341
No, no,
the word is... is "rickshaw."
311
00:13:46,207 --> 00:13:49,140
R-I... r-I-c...
312
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:52,174
R-rickshaw.
313
00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:56,736
Paul, I had no idea.
314
00:13:56,683 --> 00:13:58,115
I'm sorry.
315
00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:01,216
Look, if this trip
means that much to you...
316
00:14:02,414 --> 00:14:03,780
Oh, no.
317
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:04,884
Ahhh.
318
00:14:04,865 --> 00:14:06,832
I know what you're doing.
319
00:14:06,776 --> 00:14:09,509
You're trying to trick me
into feeling sorry for you.
320
00:14:15,691 --> 00:14:18,324
What?
321
00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,032
So then I said, "skip dessert?
322
00:14:23,969 --> 00:14:26,469
You should be skipping
the whole buffet."
323
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:29,123
Ohh!
324
00:14:29,032 --> 00:14:31,732
That waiter's kind of cute.
325
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:34,043
You know who else is cute?
Charlie.
326
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:35,067
He's cute.
327
00:14:35,051 --> 00:14:37,517
I think I'm gonna have
the fusilli.
328
00:14:37,438 --> 00:14:41,505
Seriously, he's warm,
he's funny, and kids love him.
329
00:14:41,354 --> 00:14:43,488
You just described elmo.
330
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,790
Charlie's a great guy,
and he likes you.
331
00:14:45,715 --> 00:14:46,949
And to be honest,
332
00:14:46,926 --> 00:14:49,327
I have never seen him this way
with a woman.
333
00:14:49,251 --> 00:14:51,650
Charlie and I had a good time
the other night,
334
00:14:51,575 --> 00:14:53,376
but that's all
I'm interested in.
335
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:56,325
The last thing I need right now
is a clingy, desperate guy.
336
00:15:02,464 --> 00:15:04,765
So, what,
you're just using him?
337
00:15:04,693 --> 00:15:06,526
Yeah. I guess so.
338
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:08,376
Hey, you want to split a salad?
339
00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:09,889
Sam, Charlie's my friend,
340
00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:12,151
and I don't like to hear
that he's being used.
341
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,446
I don't know if you deserve
a guy like Charlie.
342
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:17,738
You have no right to tell me
who I deserve to be with.
343
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:19,286
Fine. Be selfish.
344
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:20,477
And you know what?
345
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,487
I'm not even in the mood
for dinner anymore.
346
00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:25,261
Hey, guys.
What a surprise.
347
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,366
Charlie.
348
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,344
Caitlin, you look
a little peaked.
349
00:15:28,287 --> 00:15:31,487
Is your stomach bothering you?
350
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,641
No.
351
00:15:32,616 --> 00:15:34,117
Are you sure?
352
00:15:34,081 --> 00:15:36,848
Don't you want to feel
a little queasy right now?
353
00:15:36,756 --> 00:15:38,990
I'm glad you came by.
354
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:40,487
Would you like
to get out of here?
355
00:15:40,449 --> 00:15:41,549
Yeah.
356
00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:43,232
Great.
See you later, Caitlin.
357
00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:45,855
Excuse me for a second.
358
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:47,899
Um...Charlie...
359
00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:49,336
She just wants to have sex.
360
00:15:49,301 --> 00:15:51,833
Thanks.
I owe you one.
361
00:15:53,249 --> 00:15:56,682
This isn't just about sex.
I like this girl.
362
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,727
She doesn't like you
the way you like her.
363
00:15:58,661 --> 00:16:00,828
If you go with her,
when you wake up,
364
00:16:00,764 --> 00:16:03,664
you'll feel used and empty,
just like you did today.
365
00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:05,298
You're right.
366
00:16:05,252 --> 00:16:07,419
Sam...
367
00:16:07,355 --> 00:16:08,822
I like you...
368
00:16:08,786 --> 00:16:11,620
But I can't go home with you
if this is just about sex.
369
00:16:11,526 --> 00:16:13,259
This is just about sex.
370
00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:16,080
You're honest.
I respect that. Let's go.
371
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:28,703
I want to reiterate
how difficult this decision is.
372
00:16:28,594 --> 00:16:32,028
Dumping bondek was easy.
But you two are...
373
00:16:38,178 --> 00:16:41,211
So, I'm gonna have to base
my decision
374
00:16:41,107 --> 00:16:42,740
on your final statements.
375
00:16:42,699 --> 00:16:44,032
Carter...
376
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:45,871
Uh, sir, as your ambassador,
377
00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:48,786
I would represent New York
with poise and dignity.
378
00:16:48,685 --> 00:16:51,751
Here are my references.
379
00:16:51,647 --> 00:16:52,947
Uh-huh.
380
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,487
Your mother speaks highly
of you.
381
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:57,882
Paul...
382
00:17:00,848 --> 00:17:03,081
Bourbon street?
383
00:17:03,014 --> 00:17:04,247
Excuse me?
384
00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:08,314
Gumbo. Jazz.
385
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,745
Harry connick Jr.!
386
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:14,385
My God, he wasn't faking.
It's real.
387
00:17:14,252 --> 00:17:15,819
What's real?
388
00:17:15,782 --> 00:17:17,049
Sir, he can't hear you.
389
00:17:17,023 --> 00:17:19,190
Paul suffers
from hysterical deafness.
390
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:21,558
Under the pressure
of intense competition,
391
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,714
he loses his hearing.
392
00:17:22,691 --> 00:17:26,324
Cool.
393
00:17:26,193 --> 00:17:27,326
Sir...
394
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,441
As much as I'd like
to go to new Orleans,
395
00:17:30,332 --> 00:17:32,798
I'd be happier
if you selected Paul.
396
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,220
He needs this.
397
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:35,518
Paul, you win.
398
00:17:37,401 --> 00:17:38,634
Mardi gras!
399
00:17:38,611 --> 00:17:44,944
"You...Win!"
400
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:46,159
Oh, my God.
401
00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:48,459
Oh, I won the competition.
Oh, my God, I can hear!
402
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,685
I can hear!
403
00:17:49,659 --> 00:17:51,592
Who beat whose butt?!
404
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:55,621
Who gave who a beatdown?!
405
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:57,818
Congratulations, Paul.
I guess the best man won.
406
00:17:57,747 --> 00:18:01,213
Oh, Mr. mayor...
Oh, this is wonderful.
407
00:18:01,089 --> 00:18:02,256
I can't wait.
408
00:18:02,236 --> 00:18:04,102
Oh, I really need
the time to relax.
409
00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:06,518
I hope you've been polishing up
on your golf game,
410
00:18:06,439 --> 00:18:09,139
because we have a match
with the mayor of Philadelphia
411
00:18:09,049 --> 00:18:11,316
and his partner...
uh, there's a little wager.
412
00:18:11,246 --> 00:18:12,612
Wager?
413
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:14,118
Just for a round of beers.
414
00:18:15,481 --> 00:18:16,882
Oh, and $2,500 a man.
415
00:18:32,389 --> 00:18:33,555
Hi.
416
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:36,935
What are you doing here?
Why aren't you with Sam?
417
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:38,547
I couldn't go through with it.
418
00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:39,902
We got back to her place,
419
00:18:39,871 --> 00:18:43,137
and I kept hearing this voice
reminding me how pathetic I was.
420
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,156
It was my voice, wasn't it?
421
00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:46,359
No, it was mine.
422
00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:49,368
She was listening
to her answering machine.
423
00:18:51,493 --> 00:18:53,625
Nice place.
424
00:18:53,562 --> 00:18:56,895
Do you sublet
from Scarlett O'Hara?
425
00:18:57,988 --> 00:18:59,754
So, how you doing?
426
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:00,841
Okay.
427
00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:03,755
I guess I'm a little sad
about Sam.
428
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,890
I think our friendship
is pretty much done.
429
00:19:05,821 --> 00:19:08,120
I can fill in for a night.
What are we watching?
430
00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:09,516
"Sex in the city."
431
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,649
I've seen this one.
432
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,984
This is the one
433
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,752
where the sorta slutty one is
talking to the really slutty one
434
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,981
about the prissy one.
435
00:19:17,952 --> 00:19:20,085
See, I can be
a good girlfriend.
436
00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:22,688
Nice try, Charlie,
but it's not the same.
437
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,200
Oh, come on, you helped me.
I owe you.
438
00:19:25,115 --> 00:19:26,349
Let's dish.
439
00:19:29,923 --> 00:19:32,457
Is Stuart's ass
getting fat or what?
440
00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:34,576
Charlie, I am not
doing this with you.
441
00:19:34,509 --> 00:19:37,076
Oh, come on. What about Debbie
in accounting?
442
00:19:36,992 --> 00:19:40,159
I hear she slept
with half the second floor.
443
00:19:40,049 --> 00:19:42,415
Okay, I wasn't
gonna say anything,
444
00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:45,841
but I hear she's no stranger
to the third floor either.
445
00:19:45,716 --> 00:19:47,683
No!
446
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:48,959
This will be fun.
447
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:50,465
We can make cookies,
448
00:19:50,429 --> 00:19:53,329
and I've got
"the way we were" on DVD.
449
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:57,230
Actually...I got
a morning meeting.
450
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:09,404
Hi. I understand you're into
purely physical relationships.
451
00:20:09,245 --> 00:20:10,212
So?
452
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,602
Let's get physical.
453
00:20:12,335 --> 00:20:14,268
The drink in the face.
454
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,408
The slap in the face.
455
00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:30,743
And the general abuse
of the face area.
456
00:21:28,229 --> 00:21:30,662
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
457
00:21:30,712 --> 00:21:35,262
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