Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,659 --> 00:00:03,859
Remind my hotel the room
should have freshly cut roses,
2
00:00:03,745 --> 00:00:06,211
champagne on ice,
and some strawberries.
3
00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:07,697
Oh, and some whipped cream.
4
00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:09,858
Whipped cream
for the strawberries.
5
00:00:09,789 --> 00:00:11,255
Yeah.
6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,153
You use it for that, too.
7
00:00:14,051 --> 00:00:15,684
Everybody here?
8
00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:17,942
Yeah. Can we
speed this up a little?
9
00:00:17,868 --> 00:00:20,468
I'd like to beat
the Thanksgiving traffic.
10
00:00:20,381 --> 00:00:22,182
I still have to rent a car.
11
00:00:22,132 --> 00:00:24,631
This year, I'm bringing
the centerpiece.
12
00:00:24,548 --> 00:00:27,049
You are so not straight.
13
00:00:26,966 --> 00:00:29,032
I'm leaving for Jamaica
in two hours,
14
00:00:28,969 --> 00:00:31,503
and you don't see me
rushing to get out of here.
15
00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,119
Do I smell coconut?
16
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,074
No, there's no coconut.
17
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:38,114
You put your
sunscreen on already.
18
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,038
I like to land and tan.
19
00:00:42,903 --> 00:00:45,469
We feel that tomorrow's
Thanksgiving day parade
20
00:00:45,384 --> 00:00:46,817
will be the finest to date.
21
00:00:46,784 --> 00:00:49,183
This year's balloon characters
will include
22
00:00:49,105 --> 00:00:51,940
petey the pilgrim,
Toni the Turkey,
23
00:00:51,841 --> 00:00:57,575
and my personal favorite,
garfield the...
24
00:00:57,345 --> 00:00:59,978
Animal.
25
00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:03,223
I represent the New York
native American council.
26
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:05,270
It's offensive
that in a Thanksgiving parade
27
00:01:05,201 --> 00:01:08,135
there's no balloon that
represents native Americans.
28
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:12,934
I believe garfield
is 1/10 cherokee.
29
00:01:14,331 --> 00:01:16,998
If there's been an oversight,
it will be corrected.
30
00:01:16,908 --> 00:01:18,875
Are you saying
you're going to produce
31
00:01:18,816 --> 00:01:21,849
a parade-sized native American
balloon in less than 24 hours?
32
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,433
That's exactly what I'm saying.
33
00:01:53,998 --> 00:01:56,065
Mindy, how's my favorite dancer?
34
00:01:56,003 --> 00:01:58,670
Sorry...
favorite music-video dancer.
35
00:01:58,579 --> 00:02:01,246
Look, I got an emergency
here at work.
36
00:02:01,156 --> 00:02:03,722
We got to fly out to Jamaica
in the morning.
37
00:02:03,637 --> 00:02:05,104
Okay. Bye-bye.
38
00:02:05,069 --> 00:02:08,203
Well, the rental place
gave my car away.
39
00:02:08,091 --> 00:02:11,124
My centerpiece
is already dehydrating.
40
00:02:11,018 --> 00:02:14,584
That's the real tragedy,
Carter.
41
00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:16,586
I hope the mayor
doesn't expect us
42
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,186
to find a balloon overnight.
43
00:02:18,143 --> 00:02:21,577
Hey, you think we can get
this balloon by 5:00?
44
00:02:21,451 --> 00:02:24,650
I'm picking up my daughter
at the airport.
45
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,003
Stewart's looking for one.
46
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:27,868
See if you can find one
47
00:02:27,812 --> 00:02:30,113
that looks like that Indian
48
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,339
that cries when people litter.
49
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:34,966
Excellent choice, sir.
50
00:02:37,419 --> 00:02:40,452
He bit my pilgrim!
51
00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:43,176
Hi, mindy.
52
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:44,945
It's usually in the 80s,
53
00:02:44,894 --> 00:02:47,094
but Jamaica
does get cold at night,
54
00:02:47,026 --> 00:02:49,592
so you might want to bring
your bikini tops.
55
00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:50,974
Bye-bye.
56
00:02:50,939 --> 00:02:54,006
I think it's sad how you're
spending your Thanksgiving.
57
00:02:53,897 --> 00:02:57,830
I'll use mindy's bikini tops
to dry my tears.
58
00:02:57,683 --> 00:03:00,049
That is so you.
59
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,406
What does that mean?
60
00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:02,938
When it comes to dating,
61
00:03:02,899 --> 00:03:05,565
you don't exactly like
to be challenged mentally.
62
00:03:05,475 --> 00:03:09,276
Well, there are other ways
to be challenged.
63
00:03:09,135 --> 00:03:11,034
Don't take this the wrong way.
64
00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:12,845
I just think you're pathetic.
65
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,259
What's the right way
to take that?
66
00:03:16,386 --> 00:03:18,486
Don't take this the wrong way,
67
00:03:18,423 --> 00:03:20,623
but I don't care
what you think.
68
00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,354
Okay, forget I said anything.
69
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:25,470
But for the record,
mindy is not a bimbo.
70
00:03:25,358 --> 00:03:27,157
I'm guessing she's perky,
71
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,907
she says painfully
obvious things like,
72
00:03:29,811 --> 00:03:31,778
"New York's really crowded."
73
00:03:33,437 --> 00:03:36,537
And for work, she's a dancer.
74
00:03:36,427 --> 00:03:38,494
She's a music-video dancer.
75
00:03:39,768 --> 00:03:42,367
There's a difference.
76
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,350
This is terrible.
77
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,619
Don't worry, we'll find
a balloon for the parade.
78
00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:50,180
Like I really care about that.
79
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:51,904
I got bigger problems to fry.
80
00:03:51,855 --> 00:03:54,588
My mother decided to pay me
a surprise visit,
81
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,029
and I haven't even told her
82
00:03:55,991 --> 00:03:58,290
that Claudia left me
to become a nun.
83
00:03:58,216 --> 00:04:00,083
How could you not tell her?
84
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,297
She never asked.
85
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:03,857
That's weird,
86
00:04:03,815 --> 00:04:07,449
my mom always asks if my wife
left me to become a nun.
87
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,282
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
88
00:04:09,223 --> 00:04:10,290
Mom!
89
00:04:10,273 --> 00:04:11,472
Ooh, mom!
90
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:12,850
Here, look, oh.
91
00:04:12,818 --> 00:04:15,617
I got these for you.
92
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,022
Oh, they're lovely, Paul.
Thank you.
93
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,539
Mom, you remember Carter.
94
00:04:19,498 --> 00:04:21,731
You look better
every time I see you.
95
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,128
We should see each other
more often.
96
00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,747
Let me put those in some water.
97
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,101
I'll hold on to them.
98
00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:29,102
Mom, this is Charlie,
the new guy.
99
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,607
Charlie, this is my mother.
100
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:32,901
Your mother, of course.
101
00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,859
The resemblance is scary.
102
00:04:36,771 --> 00:04:38,771
Paul, I made this pumpkin pie.
103
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,144
It's Claudia's favorite.
104
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:41,878
I'm gonna put it in the fridge.
105
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:43,462
Great idea, I'll hold...
106
00:04:43,419 --> 00:04:45,586
I'll hold those flowers
for you!
107
00:04:47,332 --> 00:04:50,332
That's your mother?
108
00:04:50,227 --> 00:04:51,559
Yep.
109
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:53,264
She was married to your father?
110
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,884
Yep.
111
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:58,238
And they had you?
112
00:04:58,115 --> 00:04:59,649
Yep.
113
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,405
Have you guys met Paul's mom?
114
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,574
Yep.
Yep.
115
00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:13,691
Is there a valid explanation?
116
00:05:13,575 --> 00:05:16,909
Nope.
Nope.
117
00:05:16,788 --> 00:05:20,321
All right, Stewart,
let's see what you got.
118
00:05:20,191 --> 00:05:23,991
I think you're gonna
like this a lot.
119
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:30,810
That doesn't exactly shout
"Thanksgiving."
120
00:05:30,657 --> 00:05:33,523
She was a stage prop
from kiss' "lick it up" tour.
121
00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:39,252
When I said we needed a balloon
to satisfy native Americans,
122
00:05:39,086 --> 00:05:41,386
I didn't mean sexually.
123
00:05:41,314 --> 00:05:43,380
My daughter
is coming to visit me.
124
00:05:43,318 --> 00:05:46,585
I don't want her seeing me
walking in a parade with that.
125
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:49,200
I already have a guy
working on buckskin outfit
126
00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:51,273
to cover the, uh, fun parts.
127
00:05:54,419 --> 00:05:56,886
That's not bad.
What do you think?
128
00:05:56,805 --> 00:05:58,271
I think
129
00:05:58,236 --> 00:06:00,836
Hello, Jamaica!
130
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,049
All right, then,
131
00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:03,889
if you'll excuse me,
132
00:06:03,835 --> 00:06:07,702
I'm gonna go see
if I can find Paul's mom.
133
00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:13,716
It's Thanksgiving.
134
00:06:13,696 --> 00:06:15,629
Why is your mom
hanging around city hall?
135
00:06:15,573 --> 00:06:18,106
If she sees my apartment
she'll know Claudia's gone.
136
00:06:18,023 --> 00:06:20,090
She keeps asking me about her.
137
00:06:20,027 --> 00:06:21,460
Change the subject.
138
00:06:21,426 --> 00:06:23,326
Maybe she'll forget
I was married.
139
00:06:23,270 --> 00:06:25,337
She's baking the woman pies.
140
00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:27,541
Don't worry, the pies
will be taken care of.
141
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,603
Paul...
142
00:06:28,584 --> 00:06:29,550
Oh.
143
00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:31,037
Isn't there something...
144
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,167
Paul has something to tell you.
145
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,201
Be strong.
146
00:06:35,136 --> 00:06:36,836
Well, this is the thing.
147
00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:41,224
Mommy, Claudia and I
aren't together anymore.
148
00:06:41,053 --> 00:06:44,219
My poor little pumpkin
is all alone?
149
00:06:44,106 --> 00:06:46,240
Oh, Paul, I'm heartbroken.
150
00:06:46,174 --> 00:06:47,907
Don't be heartbroken.
151
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,560
I'm... I'm not alone.
152
00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:51,081
You're not?
153
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,609
No, no.
154
00:06:52,568 --> 00:06:54,568
I've got Caitlin.
155
00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:56,475
You two are dating?
156
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,516
Oh, that's wonderful!
157
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:02,711
Be strong.
158
00:07:05,228 --> 00:07:07,628
That was mindy.
She's on her way up.
159
00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:08,751
Excellent.
160
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,094
Now you'll see
that she's not a bimbo.
161
00:07:11,018 --> 00:07:12,784
I thought my opinion
didn't matter.
162
00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:13,702
It doesn't.
163
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:15,823
Then why have
this conversation?
164
00:07:15,757 --> 00:07:16,757
Huh?
165
00:07:16,744 --> 00:07:18,177
Huh?
166
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:21,044
I don't know
what Paul sees in you.
167
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,745
Hey, handsome.
168
00:07:25,714 --> 00:07:26,948
Hi!
169
00:07:26,922 --> 00:07:28,456
Sorry I'm late.
170
00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:31,285
Did you notice,
New York is really crowded?
171
00:07:31,185 --> 00:07:34,085
Yes, it is really crowded.
172
00:07:33,984 --> 00:07:39,051
That's a very keen observation
on urban density.
173
00:07:38,852 --> 00:07:41,885
Hey, the mayor's on tv.
174
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,447
your family's finally gonna get
that centerpiece after all.
175
00:07:57,842 --> 00:08:00,109
Her top just fell off.
176
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:01,938
She's topless.
177
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:06,216
Hey, I went to that concert!
178
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,039
guys!
179
00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:15,149
Guys!
180
00:08:16,673 --> 00:08:18,374
Oh, my God... Stewart!
181
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:28,192
In our efforts
to be more sensitive
182
00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:29,595
toward native Americans,
183
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,760
we now have
a topless 40-foot Indian
184
00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:33,124
floating around Manhattan.
185
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:36,991
I knew you were putting too much
helium in those breasts.
186
00:08:36,845 --> 00:08:39,578
Until this is solved, we are
stuck here on Thanksgiving.
187
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,118
How bad is it?
188
00:08:41,075 --> 00:08:44,509
She's taking out power lines,
billboards.
189
00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:46,916
It's like an x-rated Godzilla.
190
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,928
I can't believe my vacation
is being ruined
191
00:08:50,841 --> 00:08:52,307
by some stupid sex toy.
192
00:08:52,271 --> 00:08:55,639
That reminds me,
mindy's been looking for you.
193
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:57,016
Okay, I get it.
194
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,313
You don't think
mindy's very smart.
195
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,306
Again, I thought my opinion
didn't matter to you.
196
00:09:02,197 --> 00:09:04,430
Again, it doesn't.
197
00:09:04,361 --> 00:09:07,227
Which is why I never mentioned
she finished number one
198
00:09:07,128 --> 00:09:08,594
in her high school class.
199
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:10,793
You said
she was home-schooled.
200
00:09:12,059 --> 00:09:14,059
She beat out two sisters.
201
00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:18,032
Now, guys, we need ideas
on solving this balloon thing.
202
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,513
I say we shoot it down.
203
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:21,103
Well, that's brilliant.
204
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,261
What better way
to celebrate Thanksgiving
205
00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:25,958
than to blast a giant
native American out of the sky?
206
00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:27,431
Yeah, good point.
207
00:09:27,391 --> 00:09:30,091
Before we can shoot it down,
we gotta get permission
208
00:09:29,999 --> 00:09:32,266
from the New York
native American council.
209
00:09:32,195 --> 00:09:34,394
We've got a big mess
on our hands,
210
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,492
and no one's going anywhere
until it's fixed,
211
00:09:36,424 --> 00:09:38,424
and I don't care
if we're here all night!
212
00:09:38,365 --> 00:09:39,799
But it's Thanksgiving!
213
00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:41,264
My holiday is ruined, too.
214
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:43,495
I was gonna spend it
with my daughter.
215
00:09:43,423 --> 00:09:45,023
Now that's not gonna happen.
216
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,874
Hey, Paul.
What's the update?
217
00:09:48,799 --> 00:09:51,532
She's headed toward
t.G.I. Friday's?
218
00:09:51,438 --> 00:09:54,572
You'r headed toward
t.G.I. Friday's?
219
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,695
What's the balloon doing?
220
00:09:56,624 --> 00:09:58,791
She's stuck where?
221
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,089
Damn.
222
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:03,359
Well, it appears our lady
is in the process
223
00:10:03,241 --> 00:10:06,641
of giving the Chrysler building
a lap dance.
224
00:10:10,271 --> 00:10:12,703
Aaah!
225
00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:18,503
Paul, I can't keep this
on my desk!
226
00:10:18,382 --> 00:10:21,315
Just keep the ones
I put in your wallet.
227
00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:23,413
I can't believe
you went in my wallet.
228
00:10:23,344 --> 00:10:26,111
By the way, I owe you $20
and some stamps.
229
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:29,682
Paul, I am not comfortable
pretending I'm your girlfriend.
230
00:10:29,547 --> 00:10:31,314
You know what it's like
231
00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:33,498
to have someone
who thinks you're perfect?
232
00:10:33,428 --> 00:10:35,395
All my life,
my mom has looked at me
233
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,236
like I'm the sun, moon,
and stars.
234
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:38,749
As long as I'm dating you,
235
00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,209
she'll still look at me
that way.
236
00:10:41,126 --> 00:10:44,593
She's only in town another day,
so I guess it's okay.
237
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:45,933
And I promise you,
238
00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:49,997
I will handle this with
the utmost decorum and respect.
239
00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:51,176
Okay?
240
00:10:51,147 --> 00:10:52,846
Ooh, my mom's coming!
241
00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:55,434
Quick, put your hand on my ass!
242
00:10:56,331 --> 00:10:59,732
Hey, you two!
243
00:10:59,608 --> 00:11:01,308
Get your hands off of me.
244
00:11:02,566 --> 00:11:04,299
This is so great!
245
00:11:04,252 --> 00:11:09,085
Oh, I gotta get a picture
of this... my two best girls.
246
00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:12,763
Okay, let's get something
straight, blondie.
247
00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:16,053
I know what's going on
around here.
248
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:18,023
Paul's a young hunk
on the rebound,
249
00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:20,162
and you're swooping in
like a vulture.
250
00:11:20,093 --> 00:11:22,994
Face it,
he's out of your league.
251
00:11:22,894 --> 00:11:24,126
Picture time!
252
00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:29,803
Mindy, hey, I'm sorry
for the delay.
253
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:33,199
I still got a little more work
to do on this balloon thing.
254
00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:37,672
Oh, I've got some choreography
to work on, too.
255
00:11:48,786 --> 00:11:52,220
Let me know
if I'm disturbing you.
256
00:11:57,153 --> 00:12:00,852
Charlie,
Caitlin's on her way...ln.
257
00:12:00,716 --> 00:12:04,049
Should I tell her
there's a cover charge?
258
00:12:03,929 --> 00:12:06,462
No, just keep her
out there for a second.
259
00:12:06,378 --> 00:12:08,877
Come on, you've been dancing
too much.
260
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,095
Sit down.
261
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:14,601
Sit down, relax,
do some casual reading.
262
00:12:14,426 --> 00:12:18,326
"Economic theories
of inner-city development"?
263
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:21,589
No laughing out loud.
264
00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:24,360
Ooh, look at that fine print.
265
00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:26,628
Here, put on my glasses.
266
00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:28,918
Let me see
if I got this straight.
267
00:12:28,843 --> 00:12:30,476
So what you're saying is,
268
00:12:30,432 --> 00:12:32,732
with the urbanization
of society,
269
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:35,493
agrarian economies
are unsustainable?
270
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:40,155
It's fascinating!
271
00:12:40,039 --> 00:12:43,039
Oh, hi, Caitlin.
272
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:45,467
How's it going, mindy?
273
00:12:45,383 --> 00:12:48,318
My head hurts.
274
00:12:48,214 --> 00:12:49,948
Hey, it's Paul's girlfriend.
275
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:54,200
We were just discussing
the problems in eastern Europe.
276
00:12:54,035 --> 00:12:56,335
That's what Charlie
was trying to do.
277
00:12:56,263 --> 00:12:58,430
I was mostly trying
to tickle him.
278
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,262
Tell Caitlin
what you were saying about war.
279
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,894
It's bad.
280
00:13:04,374 --> 00:13:07,874
Mindy, if I don't see you,
have a great trip.
281
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,708
Just think,
once we get on that plane,
282
00:13:11,627 --> 00:13:14,794
we will be together
for 96 straight hours.
283
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:21,555
Now my head hurts.
284
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:25,621
We accept your offer of an
authentic native American float
285
00:13:25,527 --> 00:13:27,661
in next year's parade.
286
00:13:27,595 --> 00:13:30,495
If you want to shoot down
that balloon,
287
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,895
we support you 100%.
288
00:13:31,858 --> 00:13:33,791
Sir...
289
00:13:33,735 --> 00:13:38,201
Can I keep the giant brassiere?
290
00:13:38,029 --> 00:13:39,730
Well, this is a fine offer.
291
00:13:41,624 --> 00:13:43,056
But I can't accept it.
292
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:47,390
All we've solved
is the balloon problem.
293
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:50,655
We have still got hundreds of
years of injustices to address,
294
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,931
and we're not leaving until
we deal with every one of them.
295
00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:57,752
Bondek, put on a pot of coffee!
296
00:13:57,656 --> 00:14:00,423
I don't think we can wrap that
up over one pot of coffee.
297
00:14:00,328 --> 00:14:02,729
Do you have any idea how
we've made these people feel?
298
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:05,750
Why, we have acted like
an ungrateful daughter
299
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:08,940
who promises to have
Thanksgiving with her father
300
00:14:08,821 --> 00:14:10,554
but goes to vail on a whim
301
00:14:10,507 --> 00:14:13,607
because her friend
scores a condo!
302
00:14:13,497 --> 00:14:18,631
The native Americans have waited
300 years to hear those words.
303
00:14:20,209 --> 00:14:21,543
Could you excuse us?
304
00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:25,913
Charlie, I have
a confession to make.
305
00:14:25,744 --> 00:14:27,911
Your daughter blew you off
to go skiing?
306
00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:30,244
You read me like an open book.
307
00:14:31,597 --> 00:14:35,730
I have been looking forward
to her visit for months.
308
00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:38,507
I bought
all of her favorite foods,
309
00:14:38,404 --> 00:14:40,204
I made up her bedroom,
310
00:14:40,154 --> 00:14:42,288
I even went up in the attic
311
00:14:42,222 --> 00:14:45,356
and brought down
her record collection
312
00:14:45,244 --> 00:14:47,810
and her big bag of oregano.
313
00:14:50,906 --> 00:14:53,706
And she ditches me
for a good time!
314
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:55,309
I'm sorry, sir.
315
00:14:55,263 --> 00:14:57,697
I feel so alone right now.
316
00:14:57,618 --> 00:14:59,985
I mean, you've got mindy.
317
00:14:59,908 --> 00:15:01,842
Carter's got Stewart.
318
00:15:01,786 --> 00:15:03,519
Paul's got...
319
00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,971
Caitlin.
320
00:15:05,888 --> 00:15:07,688
Your daughter's young.
321
00:15:07,638 --> 00:15:09,139
It's what kids do.
322
00:15:09,102 --> 00:15:12,102
But she abandoned me
to go party.
323
00:15:11,996 --> 00:15:15,263
Did you ever do that
to your parents?
324
00:15:15,146 --> 00:15:17,345
I'm doing it this year.
325
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:20,276
Just because she
skips one Thanksgiving
326
00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:22,104
doesn't mean
she doesn't love you.
327
00:15:22,048 --> 00:15:25,082
What am I worried about?
She's a good kid.
328
00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:27,974
I know she's spending
most of the weekend
329
00:15:27,869 --> 00:15:30,236
cooking with friends.
330
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,859
She asked me to fedex her
the oregano.
331
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:37,656
I wouldn't put
a return address on that.
332
00:15:40,212 --> 00:15:42,078
Paul!
333
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,891
Paul, I have had it!
I am telling your mom!
334
00:15:44,791 --> 00:15:46,492
You can't!
Abby...
335
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,380
All right, that's it.
336
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,323
I'm dumping you.
337
00:15:50,263 --> 00:15:53,163
What?
338
00:15:53,063 --> 00:15:55,029
Don't beg.
You had your shot.
339
00:15:54,972 --> 00:15:57,072
Paul, just tell your mother
the truth.
340
00:15:57,008 --> 00:15:59,374
Okay.
341
00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:01,498
Mom, Caitlin's gay.
342
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,895
I'm out.
343
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:05,480
Yes, you are.
344
00:16:05,437 --> 00:16:07,237
You be proud, honey!
345
00:16:07,187 --> 00:16:10,819
Paul, is there something
you want to tell me?
346
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:13,020
I was never dating Caitlin.
347
00:16:12,944 --> 00:16:14,610
I just told you that
348
00:16:14,567 --> 00:16:17,600
because I didn't want you
to be disappointed
349
00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:19,027
that Claudia left me.
350
00:16:18,989 --> 00:16:23,521
I didn't want you to find out
that I wasn't the perfect son.
351
00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:27,713
I don't have the perfect
marriage or the perfect career,
352
00:16:27,545 --> 00:16:29,345
and while we're at it,
353
00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:32,927
I was never captain of
the high school football team.
354
00:16:32,794 --> 00:16:35,127
I was just
the equipment manager.
355
00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:36,586
What about the concussion?
356
00:16:36,547 --> 00:16:39,647
I got kicked by a cheerleader.
357
00:16:39,537 --> 00:16:41,304
It may not seem like it now,
358
00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:45,122
but what happened with Claudia
is going to end up for the best.
359
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:46,577
Trust your mother.
360
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:48,236
Okay.
361
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:52,324
And I couldn't be
more proud of you.
362
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:55,732
You're caring and intelligent
and handsome.
363
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:59,702
Not to mention you're
a grand prix racecar driver.
364
00:17:02,059 --> 00:17:04,660
That I am, mom.
365
00:17:04,572 --> 00:17:07,105
That I am.
366
00:17:08,381 --> 00:17:09,848
Good afternoon.
367
00:17:09,813 --> 00:17:11,479
At 3:44 today,
368
00:17:11,435 --> 00:17:15,335
I issued an order to shoot downa renegade parade balloon.
369
00:17:15,189 --> 00:17:17,255
Just minutes ago,
370
00:17:17,193 --> 00:17:18,759
an elite SWAT team
371
00:17:18,719 --> 00:17:22,387
successfully carried outoperation "deflation."
372
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:24,251
There were no casualties.
373
00:17:24,191 --> 00:17:25,891
Excuse me.
374
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:29,213
Oh, I have just been informedthat during the operation,
375
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:32,723
the garfield balloonwas hit with friendly fire.
376
00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:35,656
Our prayers go out to himand his fam...
377
00:17:35,547 --> 00:17:38,681
one final note.
378
00:17:38,569 --> 00:17:42,135
A message to the peopleof vail, Colorado...
379
00:17:42,005 --> 00:17:43,539
drink responsibly
380
00:17:43,499 --> 00:17:46,632
and never trusta ski instructor.
381
00:17:51,707 --> 00:17:53,173
Listen, Charlie,
382
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,006
I just wanted to tell you
to have fun in Jamaica.
383
00:17:55,905 --> 00:17:57,472
So, where's mindy?
384
00:17:57,433 --> 00:18:00,266
I decided I didn't want
to go with her.
385
00:18:00,168 --> 00:18:04,168
All she's gonna want to do
is read and drag me to museums.
386
00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:05,418
Museums?
387
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,952
She wanted to see
the jerk chicken exhibit
388
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,587
before it comes to the met.
389
00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:12,705
Okay, I admit it,
390
00:18:12,638 --> 00:18:15,571
I found myself not enjoying
her company so much.
391
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,769
You know, Charlie,
I'm proud of you.
392
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,730
You're not as shallow
as you seem.
393
00:18:19,668 --> 00:18:21,234
Sure I am.
394
00:18:21,195 --> 00:18:23,827
From now on,
when it comes to women,
395
00:18:23,739 --> 00:18:26,339
I think you'll be setting
the bar a little higher.
396
00:18:26,253 --> 00:18:27,719
Who wants it higher?
397
00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:30,483
Before you, I had it set
right about here.
398
00:18:30,387 --> 00:18:32,988
A lot of women
could get over that bar.
399
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:37,501
Now you've added intelligence
and character and morals.
400
00:18:37,322 --> 00:18:40,322
Where does it end?
401
00:18:41,807 --> 00:18:45,974
Abby, I want to apologize
for this whole balloon fiasco.
402
00:18:45,815 --> 00:18:49,749
The last thing I would want
to do would be to offend
403
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:52,302
one of my employees'
hot mothers.
404
00:18:52,209 --> 00:18:54,876
Randall,
that's very nice of you,
405
00:18:54,787 --> 00:18:57,086
but not at all necessary.
406
00:18:57,012 --> 00:19:00,213
We are adults, we've seen
women's breasts before.
407
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,765
Yes, we have.
408
00:19:05,029 --> 00:19:08,662
Well, everybody,
the crisis is over!
409
00:19:08,528 --> 00:19:11,162
I want to thank you all
for your hard work,
410
00:19:11,073 --> 00:19:13,274
and now go,
go enjoy your holiday.
411
00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:15,337
Actually,
my plans fell through,
412
00:19:15,272 --> 00:19:18,205
if you don't mind, I'd like
to spend Thanksgiving with you.
413
00:19:18,102 --> 00:19:19,969
I'd like that, Charlie.
414
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:23,530
Uh, you know,
I missed the train.
415
00:19:23,447 --> 00:19:25,780
And it's too late for me
to go to my parents'.
416
00:19:25,705 --> 00:19:28,106
We could all have dinner
at the mansion
417
00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:30,995
like one big happy family!
418
00:19:30,891 --> 00:19:33,325
Come on, everybody,
my limo awaits!
419
00:19:33,244 --> 00:19:35,045
Abby, you come with me.
420
00:19:34,994 --> 00:19:39,360
The rest of you guys,
grab a cab.
421
00:19:39,193 --> 00:19:40,593
Oh, oh, whoa.
422
00:19:40,561 --> 00:19:42,595
I almost forgot
the centerpiece.
423
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:43,966
Carter, wait.
424
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,033
Perfect.
425
00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:48,951
This will be fun!
426
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:51,962
And just so you
don't miss mindy too much,
427
00:19:51,854 --> 00:19:54,620
I'll talk about
how crowded the city is
428
00:19:54,525 --> 00:19:55,959
and twirl my hair.
429
00:19:55,925 --> 00:19:57,959
She doesn't twirl.
She flips.
430
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,597
Charlie, wait!
431
00:19:59,551 --> 00:20:01,918
I want to tickle you!
432
00:20:12,497 --> 00:20:14,731
Aah!
433
00:20:14,661 --> 00:20:15,695
Paul!
434
00:20:15,679 --> 00:20:16,879
What?
435
00:20:16,857 --> 00:20:19,657
I don't
blame you for being upset.
436
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,026
It's not my best side.
437
00:20:23,886 --> 00:20:25,986
That's better.
438
00:21:24,603 --> 00:21:27,069
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
439
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,669
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31239
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof