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1
00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:04,583
* she'll be comin' 'round
the Mountain when she comes *
2
00:00:04,441 --> 00:00:06,241
* she'll be comin' 'round
the Mountain when she comes *
3
00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:08,391
* yee-ha,
she'll be ridin' Stuart bondek *
4
00:00:08,321 --> 00:00:09,954
* she'll be ridin'
Stuart bondek *
5
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,444
* she'll be ridin'
Stuart bondek when she... *
6
00:00:11,404 --> 00:00:13,037
Carter!
We're out of towels!
7
00:00:12,994 --> 00:00:15,494
It was your turn to wash 'em.
8
00:00:15,411 --> 00:00:16,944
Throw me a dirty one!
9
00:00:16,905 --> 00:00:20,105
I can't. Caitlin's coming
to pick me up for the theater,
10
00:00:19,988 --> 00:00:21,189
and I'm not ready.
11
00:00:24,376 --> 00:00:25,843
Aaah!
12
00:00:27,173 --> 00:00:28,707
I just had rags de-flead!
13
00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:31,135
You can't go out
with Caitlin tonight.
14
00:00:31,052 --> 00:00:32,319
It's our movie night.
15
00:00:32,292 --> 00:00:34,792
I'm not gonna have
a Swayze-fest by myself.
16
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:36,309
Carter, we're gonna be...
17
00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:39,211
that's weird.
18
00:00:39,161 --> 00:00:42,527
Yeah. I look different
without my glasses.
19
00:00:42,402 --> 00:00:46,135
Caitlin, let's get outta here.
20
00:00:45,994 --> 00:00:48,728
You should really get that
checked out.
21
00:01:14,513 --> 00:01:15,712
Hey.
Caitlin, hi.
22
00:01:15,689 --> 00:01:17,123
I liked your press release
23
00:01:17,088 --> 00:01:19,587
for the mayor's
"get out and vote" campaign,
24
00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:21,771
although I found the title
a bit racy.
25
00:01:21,698 --> 00:01:22,898
What's racy about it?
26
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,608
"Mayor Winston looks forward
to a huge election."
27
00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:29,246
You might want to proofread
more closely next time.
28
00:01:29,106 --> 00:01:33,106
"Mayor Winston looks forward
to a huge"... oh, my God.
29
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,671
There's no "r"
in "election."
30
00:01:36,608 --> 00:01:37,675
This is a typo.
31
00:01:37,657 --> 00:01:39,158
I assume that.
32
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,386
Otherwise I'd like to know
how you check.
33
00:01:41,314 --> 00:01:44,048
We're about to walk
into a press conference.
34
00:01:43,953 --> 00:01:45,753
Tell them you made a mistake.
35
00:01:45,702 --> 00:01:47,235
Who cares
what the press thinks?
36
00:01:47,195 --> 00:01:49,963
It's taken me years
to build my reputation.
37
00:01:49,866 --> 00:01:54,966
It took me one weekend
in Amsterdam to build mine.
38
00:01:54,761 --> 00:01:56,695
Caitlin! Caitlin!
Caitlin! Caitlin!
39
00:01:56,637 --> 00:01:58,438
Can you tell us
who's responsible
40
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,886
for the mayor's press release?
41
00:01:59,848 --> 00:02:03,148
It's hard to pinpoint
the exact source.
42
00:02:03,029 --> 00:02:05,096
But I will form
a fact-finding committee
43
00:02:05,032 --> 00:02:06,331
to get to the bottom of...
44
00:02:06,303 --> 00:02:07,570
it was me.
45
00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:10,443
I drafted the press release.
46
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:14,316
Though it was a mistake,
I am in no way implying
47
00:02:14,219 --> 00:02:17,319
that the mayor is incapable
of achieving a huge erection.
48
00:02:18,989 --> 00:02:20,522
Thank you.
49
00:02:22,421 --> 00:02:24,922
Hey, Carter.
You ready for lunch?
50
00:02:24,838 --> 00:02:26,605
Oh, oh, I have to cancel.
51
00:02:26,555 --> 00:02:28,522
But it's Tex-mex Monday.
52
00:02:28,462 --> 00:02:31,195
Sorry. Caitlin and I are taking
rags to the hair salon.
53
00:02:31,101 --> 00:02:32,634
He, uh...
54
00:02:32,596 --> 00:02:36,062
He had a bad reaction
to the grecian formula.
55
00:02:35,933 --> 00:02:38,534
All right...
first movie night, now lunch.
56
00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:42,045
Next you'll be backing out of
the police auction this weekend.
57
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,344
I never said I'd go to that.
58
00:02:43,309 --> 00:02:47,576
Fine... more seized goods
and vehicles for me!
59
00:02:47,410 --> 00:02:50,743
Hey, Stuart.
How was your weekend?
60
00:02:50,623 --> 00:02:53,389
Look, I didn't have a towel,
so I used a dog.
61
00:02:53,292 --> 00:02:54,692
Can we please drop it?!
62
00:02:57,234 --> 00:02:58,934
How about you, Angie?
Good weekend?
63
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,454
I worked at my dad's restaurant
so I can make the rent.
64
00:03:01,368 --> 00:03:03,268
Oh, you crazy kids.
65
00:03:03,212 --> 00:03:05,145
We'll pick this up later.
66
00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:07,787
Hey, Paul.
67
00:03:07,694 --> 00:03:10,427
Lately it feels like
something's missing around here.
68
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,133
You know
what this office needs?
69
00:03:12,081 --> 00:03:14,682
A meat cone?
70
00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:16,660
A little chitchat...
casual conversation.
71
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,564
You mean water-cooler talk?
72
00:03:18,504 --> 00:03:21,337
Exactly. This office needs
more water-cooler talk.
73
00:03:21,239 --> 00:03:24,571
And what better way to do that
than to bring in a meat cone?
74
00:03:24,449 --> 00:03:27,682
Charlie, I was just telling
the mayor...
75
00:03:27,565 --> 00:03:29,164
no meat cone, Paul.
76
00:03:30,998 --> 00:03:33,132
Translatethe following sentence...
77
00:03:33,064 --> 00:03:34,565
I like chicken.
78
00:03:34,527 --> 00:03:39,893
If you said, "me gusta pollo,"
good job.
79
00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:43,948
Translatethe following sentence...
80
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,575
I like chicken.
81
00:03:45,528 --> 00:03:48,628
Me gusta pollo.
82
00:03:48,516 --> 00:03:51,883
If you said, "me gusta pollo,"
good job.
83
00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:53,892
Yes!
84
00:03:53,826 --> 00:03:55,492
Charlie, I want to thank you
85
00:03:55,447 --> 00:03:58,414
for covering for me
at the press conference.
86
00:03:58,308 --> 00:03:59,475
No problem.
87
00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:01,152
I'm in the middle of something.
88
00:04:01,106 --> 00:04:02,638
Oh. Okay.
89
00:04:02,599 --> 00:04:04,266
I...Like...Beef.
90
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,645
What?
91
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:09,656
You heard me.
92
00:04:09,595 --> 00:04:11,561
I...Like...Beef.
93
00:04:13,441 --> 00:04:14,708
"Intro to Spanish"?
94
00:04:14,681 --> 00:04:16,481
Why are you studying Spanish?
95
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,330
Next time I wake up in Mexico,
96
00:04:18,274 --> 00:04:20,440
I want to find out
how I got there.
97
00:04:20,373 --> 00:04:21,639
I know what you're doing.
98
00:04:21,612 --> 00:04:23,812
You're learning Spanish
so you can help the mayor
99
00:04:23,742 --> 00:04:25,408
connect
with the Latin community.
100
00:04:25,362 --> 00:04:26,696
Exactly.
101
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,566
Fantastic! We should leak
this to the press.
102
00:04:29,465 --> 00:04:31,231
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't tell.
103
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,881
Whatever you want.
Your secret is safe with me.
104
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,924
You told her
you were taking Spanish
105
00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:39,391
to get your college degree?
106
00:04:39,353 --> 00:04:42,086
What, are you nuts?
She can't keep a secret.
107
00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:44,458
What's the big deal?
It's just one credit.
108
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,276
If the press finds out
I didn't graduate,
109
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,020
it could be a problem
for the mayor.
110
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:50,168
But that doesn't mean
you can't tell Caitlin.
111
00:04:50,098 --> 00:04:52,297
I know she can keep a secret.
112
00:04:52,228 --> 00:04:54,529
Then how do I know
you once had a sex dream
113
00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:55,986
about Paul and Vincent price?
114
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,780
Caitlin!
115
00:05:11,303 --> 00:05:13,904
What's it gonna be for rags...
feathered or bangs?
116
00:05:13,816 --> 00:05:15,316
Surprise me.
117
00:05:15,278 --> 00:05:18,278
I'm gonna make you look
10 years younger.
118
00:05:18,171 --> 00:05:20,405
That's 70 for you!
119
00:05:20,332 --> 00:05:21,965
Charlie's taking
Spanish classes.
120
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,721
He wants to help the mayor
121
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:26,405
get in touch
with the Latin community.
122
00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:28,976
I'd like to get in touch
with Enrique iglesias...
123
00:05:28,885 --> 00:05:31,085
muy caliente.
124
00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:34,116
The weird thing is, he
doesn't want me to tell anyone.
125
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:35,402
You just told me.
126
00:05:35,371 --> 00:05:36,970
I know.
Don't tell anyone.
127
00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:39,528
You'd think he'd want to get
some good press out of this.
128
00:05:39,441 --> 00:05:40,840
Would.
129
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,674
Maybe Charlie doesn't care
what the press thinks about him.
130
00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:44,839
Oh, he cares.
131
00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:47,946
I bet he's plagued
with sleepless nights...
132
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,599
just like all of us.
133
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,484
Rags is all shampooed,
134
00:05:51,426 --> 00:05:55,960
and the stylist will be with you
in a couple minutes.
135
00:05:55,782 --> 00:05:56,916
Ahhh. Oooh.
136
00:05:56,894 --> 00:06:01,161
Citrusy.
137
00:06:03,316 --> 00:06:05,116
Ow!
138
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:09,164
The lengths you women go to
for beauty... ha!
139
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:25,477
In a moment we're gonna be
in the middle
140
00:06:25,381 --> 00:06:27,580
of some real office chitchat.
141
00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:29,944
Huh? You want
water-cooler talk...
142
00:06:29,862 --> 00:06:31,462
You get a water cooler.
143
00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:36,266
Well, let's give this baby
a test-drive.
144
00:06:36,158 --> 00:06:39,024
So, tell me, Paul...
you like sports?
145
00:06:38,924 --> 00:06:43,890
Sports... oh, yeah.
Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
146
00:06:43,693 --> 00:06:46,427
I could talk endlessly
about sports.
147
00:06:46,332 --> 00:06:48,299
I feel the same way.
148
00:06:48,239 --> 00:06:51,239
Sports!
149
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,565
Stuart, rags was swept out
into the street
150
00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:55,618
and accidentally taken
to the pound.
151
00:06:55,552 --> 00:06:58,184
He was found without a leash,
and he committed a g & b.
152
00:06:58,095 --> 00:07:00,896
What's a g & b?
Growl and bite.
153
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,797
Come on.
You're in charge of this.
154
00:07:02,735 --> 00:07:04,536
Make a call.
Get him released.
155
00:07:04,485 --> 00:07:06,851
If I let rags go,
then I'd have to release
156
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,907
the poodle we nabbed
for a d & r...
157
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,107
dump and run.
158
00:07:11,989 --> 00:07:14,889
Sorry. My hands are tied.
159
00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:17,119
This is outrageous!
160
00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:24,370
Ah! Ah!
You thirsty, Charlie?
161
00:07:24,196 --> 00:07:25,329
Sure.
162
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,343
There we go.
163
00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:33,837
What's wrong with this thing?
164
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,267
Can anyone tell me how to say
"what a beautiful day"?
165
00:07:43,148 --> 00:07:44,347
Lewis.
166
00:07:44,324 --> 00:07:45,390
Qu� lindo d�a.
167
00:07:45,373 --> 00:07:46,440
Very good.
168
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,089
How about "what time is lunch?"
169
00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:49,878
Lewis.
170
00:07:49,824 --> 00:07:52,357
�A qu� hora es el almuerzo?
171
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,905
Excellent.
172
00:07:53,862 --> 00:07:55,729
Now, who can say
"I have a flat tire,
173
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,907
and I need a ride
to the nearest gas station"?
174
00:07:57,835 --> 00:08:00,601
Charlie.
175
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,699
Wildcat football rules!
176
00:08:04,639 --> 00:08:06,405
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
177
00:08:06,356 --> 00:08:09,123
Why don't we take
a 10-minute break?
178
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:15,393
What are you doing here?
179
00:08:15,354 --> 00:08:18,387
Don't get mad, but I brought
a reporter to do a story on you.
180
00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:21,745
George brandle
with the New York journal.
181
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:24,582
You can thank me later.
182
00:08:24,478 --> 00:08:26,611
After Caitlin called me,
I did some digging.
183
00:08:26,544 --> 00:08:28,877
Is it true you never graduated
from college?
184
00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:32,909
Thank you!
185
00:08:36,335 --> 00:08:38,736
Caitlin, I'm glad you're here.
186
00:08:38,657 --> 00:08:40,056
I had this terrible dream
187
00:08:40,024 --> 00:08:42,257
that my picture
was on the front page,
188
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:44,554
right below a caption
calling me stupid.
189
00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:49,819
Oh, wait a minute...
that wasn't a dream!
190
00:08:49,657 --> 00:08:51,091
How was I supposed to know?
191
00:08:51,057 --> 00:08:53,857
Why didn't you graduate
from college in the first place?
192
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,659
It's a long story.
193
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,103
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
194
00:08:57,065 --> 00:08:59,665
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug!
195
00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:01,043
I can't believe you graduated.
196
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,274
That Spanish final
was so freakin' hard,
197
00:09:03,201 --> 00:09:05,368
I didn't think
we were gonna make it.
198
00:09:07,175 --> 00:09:09,609
What Spanish final?
199
00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:13,120
I'm gonna fix this,
200
00:09:13,088 --> 00:09:16,055
and the press is gonna think
you're a rhodes scholar.
201
00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:17,917
Don't try to fix this.
Don't do anything.
202
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,991
They're calling you stupid.
I don't care.
203
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:22,824
How can you not care?
Because I'm not stupid.
204
00:09:22,722 --> 00:09:24,589
Before you helped me,
205
00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:26,534
I was gonna cruise
through this class.
206
00:09:26,473 --> 00:09:28,940
The whole city is watching.
I have to get an "a."
207
00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:30,157
What did you plan on getting?
208
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,497
A "c"...
209
00:09:31,464 --> 00:09:35,898
nice and average,
nothin' crazy.
210
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:38,126
And how far
did that attitude get you?
211
00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:42,622
Hi. Professor Ryan
asked me to tutor you
212
00:09:42,496 --> 00:09:44,430
because you have a "c" average.
213
00:09:47,615 --> 00:09:50,215
Second base.
214
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,359
The water cooler
isn't working, is it?
215
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,882
I'm afraid not, sir.
216
00:09:58,839 --> 00:10:02,006
Maybe we should give
the meat cone a shot.
217
00:10:01,891 --> 00:10:03,657
People aren't having
conversations
218
00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:06,073
because we haven't given them
a conversation piece.
219
00:10:05,991 --> 00:10:07,659
What did you have in mind, sir?
220
00:10:07,613 --> 00:10:09,546
Wrap your brain around this.
221
00:10:16,323 --> 00:10:18,258
Very provocative, sir.
222
00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:21,165
Pretty hard not to have
an opinion about this!
223
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:23,594
It's as if God exists,
224
00:10:23,509 --> 00:10:27,276
because there's the word "God,"
225
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:30,667
but then you see
the question mark,
226
00:10:30,535 --> 00:10:33,268
and you wonder...
does he?
227
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,007
How you doin', Carter?
228
00:10:35,907 --> 00:10:37,373
Terrible.
229
00:10:37,338 --> 00:10:38,705
I couldn't sleep
230
00:10:38,673 --> 00:10:41,707
because some jerk wouldn't let
rags out of the pound.
231
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,966
He shouldn't have been
at the salon.
232
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:46,721
That pampered mutt
doesn't need a hairstylist
233
00:10:46,623 --> 00:10:49,089
any more than he needed
his teeth bleached...
234
00:10:49,006 --> 00:10:51,273
or the doggy liposuction.
235
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:53,101
I can't help you.
I'm just doing my job.
236
00:10:53,044 --> 00:10:56,144
Enforcing the leash laws?
Ha! That's a joke!
237
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:58,498
Enforcing the leash laws,
a joke?
238
00:10:58,417 --> 00:11:01,484
Excuse me! I don't mock you
when you're helping the sick
239
00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:02,741
or feeding the homeless!
240
00:11:02,709 --> 00:11:04,643
I think what Carter's
trying to say
241
00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:07,218
is maybe you can make
an exception this once.
242
00:11:07,128 --> 00:11:09,796
Oh, is that what Carter's
tryin' to say?
243
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,104
You know, I think I know Carter
a lot more than you do.
244
00:11:13,996 --> 00:11:16,695
I'm just saying
I haven't seen Carter this upset
245
00:11:16,602 --> 00:11:18,602
since his sister moved
to London.
246
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,675
You have a sister?!
247
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,822
I'm staying out of this.
248
00:11:25,122 --> 00:11:28,656
She's trying to help me
because she is my friend.
249
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:29,625
Well, so am I.
250
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,472
Yeah, well,
I don't know anymore.
251
00:11:34,216 --> 00:11:37,715
You just bought your dog
another day in lockup!
252
00:11:37,585 --> 00:11:39,219
Hey, Paul...
253
00:11:39,175 --> 00:11:43,041
What's "dog" spelled backwards?
254
00:11:42,895 --> 00:11:47,528
Sir, you just blew my mind.
255
00:11:50,224 --> 00:11:52,558
Charlie, excellent job
on your homework...
256
00:11:52,482 --> 00:11:54,382
check-plus-plus.
257
00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,591
How the hell did I get
a check-plus-plus?
258
00:11:56,519 --> 00:11:58,886
I forgot to tell you...
extra-credit essay.
259
00:11:58,808 --> 00:12:01,775
That is so like me.
260
00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:05,070
Charlie, loved your essay
on your summer in Spain.
261
00:12:04,944 --> 00:12:07,744
Which part of Barcelona
did you live in?
262
00:12:07,646 --> 00:12:10,846
Lower east side.
263
00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:13,315
When am I gonna get my beer?
264
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,074
It's being delivered
at 9:00.
265
00:12:15,022 --> 00:12:16,423
You should stop by.
266
00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,889
We're having a mixer
with theta delta zeta.
267
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:22,806
Theta delts, huh?
They're pretty hot.
268
00:12:22,653 --> 00:12:24,720
I'll try to make it.
269
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:25,989
Hi. I'm Caitlin Moore.
270
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,058
I'm a friend
of Charlie Crawford's.
271
00:12:27,993 --> 00:12:29,360
How can I help you?
272
00:12:29,329 --> 00:12:32,029
Well, we both know Charlie's
not much of an academic,
273
00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:34,270
and since the whole city's
watching him,
274
00:12:34,194 --> 00:12:37,194
I was wondering if you
could give him some extra help.
275
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:39,020
Extra help?
He's doing extremely well.
276
00:12:38,962 --> 00:12:41,462
In fact, he and Lewis are tied
for top of the class.
277
00:12:41,378 --> 00:12:43,745
Really?
278
00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:46,135
It's amazing, considering
he spends half the time
279
00:12:46,052 --> 00:12:48,020
either sleeping
or reading magazines.
280
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:51,393
Is there any way you could get
him into the advanced class?
281
00:12:51,265 --> 00:12:53,365
Are you sure he'd want that?
Definitely.
282
00:12:53,301 --> 00:12:56,634
All the bad press has really
been a blow to his self-esteem,
283
00:12:56,512 --> 00:13:00,045
and once the reporters find out
that he's in the advanced class,
284
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,546
he'll go from "el dunce-o"
to "el genius...O."
285
00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:05,356
Charlie is lucky to have
a good friend like you.
286
00:13:05,254 --> 00:13:07,555
Isn't he?
287
00:13:15,682 --> 00:13:16,982
Charlie?
288
00:13:26,174 --> 00:13:29,841
Excuse me.
I'm here to see rags.
289
00:13:29,703 --> 00:13:32,437
He's been scarin'
all the other dogs.
290
00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:33,908
What's he doing?
291
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,034
Just sittin' there.
292
00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:37,500
Did he get my care package?
293
00:13:37,461 --> 00:13:39,560
I sent him smoked salmon
and brie.
294
00:13:39,495 --> 00:13:43,495
Oh, yeah.
He loved it.
295
00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:46,175
I'd like to take him home now.
296
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:49,409
Sorry. I can't allow that
per Mr. bondek's instructions.
297
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,688
Obviously the instructions
were unclear.
298
00:13:51,608 --> 00:13:55,174
"Don't give rags
to Carter Heywood."
299
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,142
There you go.
I'm not Carter Heywood.
300
00:13:58,030 --> 00:14:00,164
My name is Dexter St. John.
301
00:14:00,097 --> 00:14:02,763
"Carter Heywood
is a 6'2" bald black man
302
00:14:02,672 --> 00:14:05,738
who sometimes uses the alias
'Dexter St. John.'"
303
00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:09,213
if you'll excuse me,
I'm on my break.
304
00:14:11,861 --> 00:14:15,394
How 'bout that giants game?
305
00:14:25,149 --> 00:14:27,749
Come on, rags.
Let's get outta here.
306
00:14:32,652 --> 00:14:34,952
You may catch me,
but you'll never catch rags!
307
00:14:34,877 --> 00:14:37,910
Run, rags!
Run like the wind!
308
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,284
Hi, Charlie.
309
00:14:46,259 --> 00:14:48,027
What are you doing?
310
00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:50,275
Studying. I'm still not sure
what happened.
311
00:14:50,202 --> 00:14:54,736
Somehow I got bumped
into the advanced Spanish class.
312
00:14:54,558 --> 00:14:57,491
You're welcome.
313
00:14:57,388 --> 00:14:58,787
For what?
314
00:14:58,753 --> 00:15:01,820
After I found out how well
you were doing, Mr. humble,
315
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,744
I convinced the teacher
to put you in a higher class.
316
00:15:04,635 --> 00:15:07,335
Now the press is gonna think
you're brilliant!
317
00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:09,710
How happy are you?
318
00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:13,093
Okay, we're gonna have to work
on your "happy" face.
319
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:15,766
Caitlin, someone else
was doing my homework for me.
320
00:15:15,668 --> 00:15:17,567
I can't speak a word
of Spanish.
321
00:15:17,512 --> 00:15:19,744
You don't belong
in the advanced class.
322
00:15:19,673 --> 00:15:22,273
Not only do I have to pull
an all-nighter,
323
00:15:22,186 --> 00:15:25,386
but I'm missing a kick-ass mixer
with the theta delts.
324
00:15:25,269 --> 00:15:27,936
Sorry. I was just trying
to help improve your image.
325
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,977
Not everyone is obsessed
with what people think of them.
326
00:15:30,865 --> 00:15:32,565
If you're implying
that I'm obsessed
327
00:15:32,518 --> 00:15:34,485
with what people think of me,
you're wrong.
328
00:15:34,425 --> 00:15:36,525
If that's the thanks I get
for trying to help,
329
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:37,727
I will leave you alone.
330
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,567
Good, because I've got
one night
331
00:15:39,513 --> 00:15:42,479
to translate "unbearable
likeness of being" into Spanish.
332
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:51,135
I am not obsessed
with what people think of me!
333
00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,688
Fine. You're not.
334
00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:54,375
No. I want an example.
335
00:15:54,327 --> 00:15:56,294
Who tried to sue
the New York times
336
00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:58,235
for printing that picture
of you blinking?
337
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:01,007
I am not getting into that.
Because it's true!
338
00:16:00,908 --> 00:16:04,109
No, because I can't comment
on pending litigation.
339
00:16:10,509 --> 00:16:12,309
You're right.
340
00:16:12,258 --> 00:16:15,559
I am completely consumed
by what people think of me.
341
00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:18,071
I've always been that way.
I am hopeless!
342
00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:19,515
I wish I could be
more like you.
343
00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:22,442
You're so self-confident,
so self-assured...
344
00:16:22,337 --> 00:16:24,904
with so little reason
to be that way.
345
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:28,150
That's very kind of you.
346
00:16:28,886 --> 00:16:29,853
How's this...
347
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,273
I'm a little embarrassed
348
00:16:31,238 --> 00:16:33,405
about not graduating
from college.
349
00:16:33,336 --> 00:16:35,103
I don't believe you.
No, it's true.
350
00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:36,387
I didn't want people to know
351
00:16:36,357 --> 00:16:38,524
because I was afraid
they'd think less of me.
352
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:41,122
You're just saying that.
353
00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:42,165
No, I'm not.
354
00:16:42,143 --> 00:16:45,510
Deep down I'm not confident.
I'm insecure.
355
00:16:49,170 --> 00:16:51,436
I knew it.
356
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:05,947
I am never speaking to you
again.
357
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:10,643
I was locked up
in that pound for three hours.
358
00:17:10,516 --> 00:17:11,883
You're overreacting.
359
00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:14,118
They threatened
to have me fixed!
360
00:17:15,444 --> 00:17:17,811
Over the years,
I've taken a lot from you.
361
00:17:17,734 --> 00:17:19,799
The time I came home
from my vacation
362
00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:21,935
and found you in my bed
with two women,
363
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:23,300
I just smiled.
364
00:17:23,265 --> 00:17:26,065
That made four of us.
365
00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:27,235
I applauded your creativity
366
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,108
when you changed
all my business cards
367
00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:31,250
from "Carter Heywood"
to "Carter loves wood."
368
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,509
But you know how much
rags means to me.
369
00:17:35,441 --> 00:17:37,307
This time
you have crossed the line.
370
00:17:37,254 --> 00:17:38,688
None of this
would have happened
371
00:17:38,653 --> 00:17:40,186
if you'd paid
rags more attention
372
00:17:40,147 --> 00:17:41,614
and spent less time on Caitlin.
373
00:17:41,579 --> 00:17:43,744
What does Caitlin have to do
with this?
374
00:17:43,675 --> 00:17:46,541
Since you two
have been hanging out so much,
375
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,741
you barely even see rags
anymore.
376
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,634
You used to play with rags
in the park.
377
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,408
You used to take him
on long walks.
378
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:57,705
You used to treat him
like he mattered.
379
00:17:57,569 --> 00:17:59,736
Oh, my God.
380
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:03,300
I finally see
what this is all about.
381
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,964
Stuart...You're rags.
382
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,621
Get outta here.
383
00:18:08,569 --> 00:18:13,736
Don't lock up your feelings
the way you locked up rags.
384
00:18:13,529 --> 00:18:15,829
Admit it... you miss me.
385
00:18:15,755 --> 00:18:18,822
Oh, take it
out of "hyper-gay."
386
00:18:18,711 --> 00:18:20,644
I don miss you.
387
00:18:21,859 --> 00:18:25,493
I just feel a little...
Bored, lonely, and wistful
388
00:18:25,357 --> 00:18:27,056
when you're not around.
389
00:18:27,009 --> 00:18:31,209
I had no idea.
390
00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:34,346
If I've been taking
our friendship for granted,
391
00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:35,293
I'm sorry.
392
00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:37,008
How about I, uh,
393
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:39,493
make it up to you
with a nice, home-cooked meal?
394
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,108
Huh, huh, huh?
Huh, huh, huh?
395
00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:43,395
If you think that you
can just smooth this over
396
00:18:43,319 --> 00:18:45,751
with a roast chicken...
And some baby carrots...
397
00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:49,736
and some of those garlic
mashed potatoes you make
398
00:18:49,646 --> 00:18:50,913
with the skins still on,
399
00:18:50,886 --> 00:18:52,352
you are sadly mistaken!
400
00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:55,150
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go get rags.
401
00:18:57,435 --> 00:18:58,967
And don't even think
about making
402
00:18:58,928 --> 00:19:00,095
your famous cobbler!
403
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,040
With or without whipped cream?
404
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:03,214
With!!
405
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:11,614
Congratulations.
You're a graduate.
406
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:13,484
Yes!
407
00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:16,660
Barely.
Yes!
408
00:19:16,541 --> 00:19:18,040
What are you gonna do now?
409
00:19:18,004 --> 00:19:21,037
Take the summer off...
Caddy a little bit...
410
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,486
hang out at the reservoir
with my buds.
411
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,764
This is great.
412
00:19:28,686 --> 00:19:31,452
Yeah, it is.
I'm glad I did this.
413
00:19:31,357 --> 00:19:34,357
You may think
this is just a degree,
414
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,550
but it's gonna change
the way people look at you.
415
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,409
They're gonna see you
as a little wiser
416
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,452
and, more importantly,
a little more mature.
417
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:43,919
You're absolutely right,
Caitlin.
418
00:19:43,787 --> 00:19:44,921
Where are you going?
419
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:47,267
The theta delta formal.
420
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:56,742
Wildcat football rules!
421
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:03,257
What happened
to the water cooler?
422
00:20:03,182 --> 00:20:04,482
It wasn't working.
423
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,387
Say, you hear they discovered
water on Mars?
424
00:20:07,283 --> 00:20:09,649
They say oceans
may have existed there.
425
00:20:09,571 --> 00:20:11,272
Well, what do you know?
426
00:20:11,225 --> 00:20:14,924
Don't look now, sir,
but this is water-cooler talk.
427
00:20:14,786 --> 00:20:17,819
I'll be damned. It is.
Carter, continue!
428
00:20:17,711 --> 00:20:20,278
If water was discovered there,
429
00:20:20,190 --> 00:20:22,290
some form of life
may have existed.
430
00:20:22,225 --> 00:20:23,793
Primordial seas
may have spawned
431
00:20:23,751 --> 00:20:25,185
single-celled organisms.
432
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,917
Boring!
433
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:29,468
Come on, Paul...
meat-cone time!
434
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:31,079
You just read my mind.
435
00:21:31,383 --> 00:21:33,849
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
436
00:21:33,899 --> 00:21:38,449
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