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1
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:15,285
Ooh. A woman, right? Huh!
2
00:00:15,365 --> 00:00:17,861
Fallen in love with somebody
who's got the vote this time.
3
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,685
How old is she? 20?
4
00:00:20,805 --> 00:00:23,045
No, she's about 30.
5
00:00:37,525 --> 00:00:38,605
Do you like my tits?
6
00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:42,765
Hello? Tits!
7
00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:45,005
Yeah. I love your tits.
8
00:00:47,085 --> 00:00:48,125
Do you wanna come on them?
9
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,125
Sure. Let me just get this off.
10
00:00:52,765 --> 00:00:55,885
Actually, don't. I got a rash last time.
Let's do it from behind.
11
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:57,365
Okay.
12
00:01:03,405 --> 00:01:04,405
Mm!
13
00:01:09,845 --> 00:01:12,085
I'm gonna come. Are you gonna come?
14
00:01:18,765 --> 00:01:19,845
Mm!
15
00:01:32,965 --> 00:01:34,885
Did you just fake it?
16
00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:36,365
Don't be stupid.
17
00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:42,261
- Why are you staring?
- Show me the condom.
18
00:01:42,285 --> 00:01:43,285
No way.
19
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,045
Where's the spunk, Adam?
20
00:02:48,445 --> 00:02:50,645
Whoa, there.
21
00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:52,445
This is not the bathroom.
22
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:55,365
Sorry, man. I'm very sorry. I'm, uh...
23
00:02:55,445 --> 00:02:56,765
- Uh...
- Sleeping with my mother?
24
00:02:58,205 --> 00:02:59,645
Correct.
25
00:03:00,525 --> 00:03:01,765
Awkward. I'm Dan.
26
00:03:01,845 --> 00:03:03,605
- And you are...
- Otis.
27
00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:04,805
Ah...
28
00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:07,245
Don't worry. Left-handed.
29
00:03:11,445 --> 00:03:13,685
- First door on your left.
- Cheers, dude.
30
00:03:23,805 --> 00:03:25,645
- Morning, darling.
- Morning.
31
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:28,925
- Coffee?
- I've got some.
32
00:03:29,245 --> 00:03:30,245
Toast?
33
00:03:30,565 --> 00:03:32,845
Um... Maybe...
34
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:34,885
Uh, I've got clients in a few minutes.
35
00:03:36,565 --> 00:03:38,165
Oh, Otis, this is, um...
36
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,605
We've met.
37
00:03:41,925 --> 00:03:43,805
- Coffee?
- Oh, yes, please.
38
00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:50,605
How old are you, Dan?
39
00:03:51,245 --> 00:03:52,805
How old am I... Uh, I'm 32.
40
00:03:53,765 --> 00:03:56,325
You having some kind
of preemptive midlife crisis?
41
00:03:56,685 --> 00:03:59,045
- Otis...
- Mum, he rides a motorbike.
42
00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:00,885
I'll take you for a ride in it,
if you like?
43
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,045
No, thanks.
44
00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:04,885
Do you have an Oedipal complex?
45
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,285
As in, you mean
do I wanna have sex with my mum?
46
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:09,085
- Mm.
- Uh, not really.
47
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:12,125
- It's not really my thing, that.
- Just ignore him. He's teasing you.
48
00:04:12,205 --> 00:04:14,445
Otis, it's perfectly normal
for a younger man
49
00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:17,125
to be sexually attracted
to a mature woman.
50
00:04:17,205 --> 00:04:19,885
In fact, when you stigmatize his choice,
51
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,845
then you feed into an unhealthy narrative
52
00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,485
on masculinity in middle age.
53
00:04:23,925 --> 00:04:26,965
That's why I say you should
never date a shrink, huh?
54
00:04:27,045 --> 00:04:29,885
Sex and relationship therapist,
thank you very much.
55
00:04:31,845 --> 00:04:32,845
That's me.
56
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:35,805
Yeah, I should probably, uh,
shoot off as well.
57
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,045
- Thanks.
- Okay.
58
00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:41,565
- Mm-hm.
- Um...
59
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:44,645
Thanks for everything, Mum.
Uh, Jean. Jean. Definitely Jean.
60
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:46,965
Okay.
61
00:04:50,005 --> 00:04:52,205
- Hopefully see you again, then, dude.
- Yeah.
62
00:04:52,845 --> 00:04:53,885
Unlikely.
63
00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:58,805
Your mum's new boyfriend
is a big hot sticky wet dream.
64
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:00,205
Yeah.
65
00:05:00,725 --> 00:05:01,885
Mum doesn't do boyfriends.
66
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:04,525
Ah-ah! Are those the ones
that like to do it in animal costumes?
67
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,605
No, he wants her to wear
a strap-on. She's not really into it.
68
00:05:07,965 --> 00:05:09,765
It's a classic power dynamic issue.
69
00:05:09,845 --> 00:05:12,045
Aww! I wish my mum was a sex guru.
70
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:14,245
Trust me, you don't.
71
00:05:18,205 --> 00:05:19,205
Marjorie...
72
00:05:19,965 --> 00:05:22,085
how are you getting on with your penis?
73
00:05:23,805 --> 00:05:26,325
- I'm not hating it.
- Fantastic.
74
00:05:26,405 --> 00:05:27,765
Okay, let's proceed.
75
00:05:34,445 --> 00:05:36,125
So, did you do it?
76
00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,685
Don't tell me you choked again.
77
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,165
Ha-ha!
78
00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:43,045
- You didn't even try.
- I've given up.
79
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:46,085
It's too much. I don't...
I don't wanna talk about it.
80
00:05:46,165 --> 00:05:50,325
I mean, what exactly is the problem here?
I mean, can you even get a hard-on?
81
00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:53,245
Of course I can.
I'm not a fucking eunuch, all right?
82
00:05:53,325 --> 00:05:55,085
I just... I wait for them to go away.
83
00:05:55,165 --> 00:05:58,485
I don't like how it feels.
Can we drop it now, please?
84
00:05:58,565 --> 00:06:00,405
No offense, but that is super weird.
85
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:02,125
Super weird.
86
00:06:31,285 --> 00:06:34,445
Oh, my God, the Untouchables have a car.
87
00:06:34,525 --> 00:06:37,645
Just when you thought they couldn't get
any more elusive, now they have wheels!
88
00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:40,301
You reckon Anwar's been workin' out?
He's lookin' extra tight.
89
00:06:40,325 --> 00:06:42,381
Just because he's
the only other gay in our year,
90
00:06:42,405 --> 00:06:44,765
- it doesn't mean you have to fancy him.
- Yeah, correction.
91
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,245
Only other gay we know of.
92
00:06:46,485 --> 00:06:47,725
Could be anywhere.
93
00:06:48,405 --> 00:06:50,165
What are you lookin' at, El Pervo?
94
00:06:50,525 --> 00:06:51,525
Did you hear that?
95
00:06:51,925 --> 00:06:54,645
He spoke to me! With actual words!
96
00:06:54,725 --> 00:06:57,925
- He called you a Spanish pervert.
- Oh, this is gonna be such a good year!
97
00:06:58,005 --> 00:06:59,005
I can feel it!
98
00:07:08,165 --> 00:07:09,725
- Is that Tom Baker?
- Yup.
99
00:07:10,165 --> 00:07:13,165
Captain of the Warhammer Society.
His balls finally dropped.
100
00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:16,885
Yeah, I keep telling you, man,
everyone has had sex over the summer.
101
00:07:16,965 --> 00:07:19,325
- Everyone except you.
- And you.
102
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:23,325
Excuse me, I gave two and a half hand jobs
to that guy I met in Butlin's.
103
00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:25,725
- Why the half?
- We got interrupted.
104
00:07:26,525 --> 00:07:28,165
Stupid surprise karaoke.
105
00:07:28,565 --> 00:07:30,565
Still, not exactly a player.
106
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,805
Yeah, at least I can touch my own penis.
107
00:07:36,885 --> 00:07:38,325
I'm worried about you, man.
108
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,765
Like, look around.
109
00:07:39,845 --> 00:07:42,005
Everybody's either thinking
about shagging,
110
00:07:42,485 --> 00:07:43,525
about to shag,
111
00:07:45,445 --> 00:07:46,645
or actually shagging,
112
00:07:47,125 --> 00:07:49,005
and you can't even jack your beanstalk.
113
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:51,085
- I've got plenty of time.
- Mm, I don't know, man.
114
00:07:51,245 --> 00:07:53,925
Everything's changing round here,
and it's changing fast.
115
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,525
Case in point, even Maeve Wiley's boobs
have gotten bigger,
116
00:07:56,605 --> 00:07:58,285
which I thought
was technically impossible.
117
00:07:58,325 --> 00:07:59,685
They look the same to me.
118
00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:02,125
I heard she bit Simon Furthassle
on the scrote,
119
00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:03,885
and now, it's all wonky.
120
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:06,165
- Like a discount avocado.
- I don't think that's true.
121
00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,421
I heard she sucked off
12 guys in ten minutes for a dare.
122
00:08:08,445 --> 00:08:10,485
- That's definitely not true.
- What a slag.
123
00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,781
Look at that greasy hair.
Maybe she can't afford shampoo.
124
00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:15,205
- Or deodorant.
- Told you.
125
00:08:15,525 --> 00:08:17,165
She's basically a nympho.
126
00:08:22,645 --> 00:08:25,365
This is a new frontier,
my sexually repressed friend.
127
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:28,645
Our chance to finally move up
the social food chain.
128
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,125
We shall transform
129
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:34,765
from lowly caterpillars into...
awesome killer whales.
130
00:08:35,805 --> 00:08:36,805
Do we have to?
131
00:08:37,085 --> 00:08:39,485
Prepare for the best two years
of our lives.
132
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:10,165
I'm sorry.
133
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:13,805
Thank you, Eric,
for that rendition of the school anthem.
134
00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:15,285
It was...
135
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:16,805
adequate.
136
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:23,725
So, just a few things to get us started.
137
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:30,685
The toilet block behind the gymnasium
is full of asbestos, so, please, keep out.
138
00:09:30,845 --> 00:09:34,085
Running in the corridors is the scourge...
139
00:09:34,165 --> 00:09:36,446
- Told you not to do it.
- I wanted to impress Swing Band.
140
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:40,245
...the story of
James Cairney and the pencil.
141
00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:43,525
I have spoken to his mother.
He, uh, has recovered.
142
00:09:43,605 --> 00:09:47,045
However, the mental scars still remain.
143
00:09:47,765 --> 00:09:49,405
A lesson for us all.
144
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:51,165
Calmly moving on.
145
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,845
It is my great pleasure
to introduce to you
146
00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:56,245
our brand-new head boy...
147
00:09:57,485 --> 00:09:58,645
Jackson Marchetti.
148
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,645
Whoo!
149
00:10:22,965 --> 00:10:24,045
We are taking over.
150
00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:39,485
Hi, Adam.
151
00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:42,725
- Good summer?
- Shut the fuck up, Tromboner.
152
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:43,885
Give me what you've got.
153
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,525
- What's in the bag?
- My lunch.
154
00:10:55,885 --> 00:10:57,965
You know that, because you always eat it.
155
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,301
- I think you forgot something.
- It's just a pencil case.
156
00:11:09,325 --> 00:11:11,485
Don't give a fuck about your pencil case.
Curly Wurly.
157
00:11:11,565 --> 00:11:13,885
Come on, man. Not my Curly Wurly.
158
00:11:15,205 --> 00:11:16,685
Give me that Curly Wurly...
159
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,045
or I will break your face.
160
00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:22,365
Okay.
161
00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:42,245
Aah!
162
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,205
Yeah, see you tomorrow.
163
00:11:45,285 --> 00:11:46,285
Shit biscuit.
164
00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:14,085
- Are you a complete moron?
- No, I'm not.
165
00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:15,501
That was a rhetorical question.
166
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:16,621
- Here.
- Don't touch my shit.
167
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:17,845
- Just trying to help.
- Don't.
168
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,125
Guys! You're not supposed to run
in the hallway.
169
00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:22,525
It was my fault. Fuck off, snowflake.
170
00:12:23,405 --> 00:12:25,045
Nice rack, Wiley.
171
00:12:27,645 --> 00:12:28,805
Are you going to write me up?
172
00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,685
I'll let you off. This time.
173
00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:32,725
I'm eternally grateful for your kindness.
174
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:35,605
Actually, on second thought...
175
00:12:38,245 --> 00:12:40,885
Head Boys notoriously peak too early.
I'd watch out, if I were you.
176
00:12:41,205 --> 00:12:42,205
Oh, yeah?
177
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:44,845
I said, nice rack, Wiley.
178
00:12:47,525 --> 00:12:49,565
- Say that again.
- Nice... ra...
179
00:12:53,485 --> 00:12:55,165
You did kind of deserve that, man.
180
00:13:09,365 --> 00:13:10,925
Settle down, class.
181
00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:13,885
Settle down. Thank you.
182
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,205
Ahh!
183
00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:19,485
We're jumping straight in to
the romantic world of the immortal Bard.
184
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,245
Shakespeare, obviously.
185
00:13:21,325 --> 00:13:24,245
This year's first assignment
will be on As You Like It.
186
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,245
Set in the fictional forest of Arden.
187
00:13:27,325 --> 00:13:30,125
Uh, nice of you to join us, Adam.
188
00:13:30,525 --> 00:13:32,205
Uh, you'll be doing presentations
189
00:13:32,285 --> 00:13:35,365
on Shakespeare's relationship
with love and disguise.
190
00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:39,405
The person you are sat next to now
will be your partner for the project.
191
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,365
So if you just look at your sheets,
192
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,285
you're gonna go through
all the five points.
193
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,045
I want you to talk in pairs.
194
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,525
Please listen, right? Listening is key.
195
00:13:48,605 --> 00:13:50,845
So, um, the assignment brief, um...
196
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:55,205
Examine the ways that Rosalind,
uh, tests Orlando's love for her
197
00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:57,085
- in act four...
- And who are you?
198
00:13:57,165 --> 00:14:01,325
- Um... I'm Otis. Yeah.
- Act four, scene one. The impression...
199
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,005
- I guess we're partners for the project.
- Are you new?
200
00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:06,525
No. No, no, no.
I've been here since first year.
201
00:14:06,885 --> 00:14:08,741
- We had chemistry together...
- Explore the ways
202
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,845
- Shakespeare uses witty wordplay...
- ...last term.
203
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:13,765
- You set my desk on fire.
- ...sport and wrestling analogies...
204
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,805
- Anyway.
- ...to reveal his characters' views
205
00:14:15,885 --> 00:14:19,645
- on the subject of love.
- Maybe later on we can get together.
206
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,725
I know the library's open...
207
00:14:22,405 --> 00:14:24,045
I don't do after hours, new kid.
208
00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:26,421
- Uh, discuss the concepts of fortune...
- Where do you live?
209
00:14:26,445 --> 00:14:30,165
...and nature as they apply to Orlando
and, um, and Oliver.
210
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,725
- 43 Ashford Street.
- Compare and contrast the relationship...
211
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,845
I'll be there at 6:00.
212
00:14:33,925 --> 00:14:35,301
...Orlando with Rosalind and Celia.
213
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:39,085
Um... If you have any questions,
please, uh, do ask.
214
00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:42,125
But what I'd like you to do is,
really, first, just mind map.
215
00:14:42,205 --> 00:14:43,805
Mind map together...
216
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:45,445
- Um...
- Boring.
217
00:14:45,525 --> 00:14:47,765
What? Excuse me, this is boring?
218
00:14:48,205 --> 00:14:49,485
Okay, um...
219
00:14:57,085 --> 00:14:58,605
You told Adam where you live?
220
00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:00,085
He asked me.
221
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,525
Dude, your mum has a lot
of weird sex shit in the house.
222
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,285
I'm cool with it, obviously,
223
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:10,045
but if that guy even sees a Kama Sutra,
he will destroy your life.
224
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:12,325
- She won't be home.
- Oh. She better not be.
225
00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:16,045
He still calls me Tromboner.
It's been four years.
226
00:15:16,325 --> 00:15:17,485
Four years.
227
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:21,565
You did get an erection on the stage,
in front of the entire school.
228
00:15:21,645 --> 00:15:23,005
It was a semi!
229
00:15:26,085 --> 00:15:27,965
The nickname doesn't even make sense.
230
00:15:28,645 --> 00:15:29,845
I play the French horn.
231
00:15:30,405 --> 00:15:31,765
Such a philistine.
232
00:15:31,845 --> 00:15:34,885
Look, he'll be in my house
for an hour, tops. It will be fine.
233
00:15:35,965 --> 00:15:38,845
Do you reckon his brain is so small
'cause his dick is so big?
234
00:15:39,485 --> 00:15:41,205
- That's a myth.
- Well, it's not.
235
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,165
A friend of a friend saw it once.
236
00:15:43,245 --> 00:15:46,085
She said it was the size of two Coke cans.
One on top of the other.
237
00:15:46,165 --> 00:15:47,725
Length and width.
238
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,885
- You don't have any friends. Except me.
- Not for long.
239
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:54,005
Because Adam is going to kill you
in your own home.
240
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:04,365
Do you really think this place
has asbestos in it?
241
00:16:04,525 --> 00:16:07,365
I don't know.
There's worse ways to go, I suppose.
242
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:10,925
God, yeah. My auntie got eaten by wasps.
243
00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,805
What? Was she stung to death?
244
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:14,885
No.
245
00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:16,165
She was eaten.
246
00:16:19,485 --> 00:16:21,925
Scabby Queen. I win! I win!
247
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:24,405
No, you don't.
You have to get rid of the queen.
248
00:16:25,005 --> 00:16:27,685
- You lost, sorry.
- I still don't get this game.
249
00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:28,765
Hand them over.
250
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,525
Thank you.
251
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:42,845
- How’s it going with Knobzilla?
- He can't come.
252
00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:47,085
So, the other night,
we're, like, goin' and goin'.
253
00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:50,061
- And I'm losin' my shit.
- And I, you know...
254
00:16:50,085 --> 00:16:51,925
- Reached the summit.
- Yeah.
255
00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:54,125
But he, like...
256
00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:56,525
- Slipped and dropped the yogurt?
- No, I wish.
257
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:57,925
He faked it.
258
00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,365
You sure?
259
00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:03,085
I don't know what I'm doin' wrong.
260
00:17:03,965 --> 00:17:05,541
Maybe he was nervous
or something.
261
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:07,765
Ruby and Olivia think I should dump him.
262
00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:10,325
They say he's bringin' down
my social status, but...
263
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:14,165
The thing is, he can be really sweet
when nobody's watchin'.
264
00:17:14,925 --> 00:17:17,005
Don't know why you listen
to those dickheads.
265
00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:18,685
If you like him, do what you want.
266
00:17:19,765 --> 00:17:20,845
Tits.
267
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:22,365
They're looking for me.
268
00:17:23,925 --> 00:17:25,605
- Thanks for the game.
- No worries.
269
00:17:25,685 --> 00:17:26,725
And the chat.
270
00:17:29,285 --> 00:17:31,485
- Oh, and...
- Don't worry, you were never here.
271
00:17:32,045 --> 00:17:33,885
- Ta-ra, lad.
- See you later, pet.
272
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:39,925
Hiya!
273
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,005
- Where have you been?
- Nowhere.
274
00:17:43,485 --> 00:17:44,485
Biology went over.
275
00:17:44,525 --> 00:17:47,125
We thought you were doin' it
with your whale dick boyfriend.
276
00:17:47,925 --> 00:17:49,645
You know he's a delinquent, right?
277
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:54,925
Yuck. Is that ham?
We're vegan now, remember?
278
00:17:55,005 --> 00:17:56,461
Oh, right, yeah, I forgot.
279
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:57,685
Have you been smokin' again?
280
00:17:58,005 --> 00:17:59,405
- No, I haven't.
- Good.
281
00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:01,445
Because smoking is definitely not vegan.
282
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:05,845
My ham.
283
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:13,845
Have you got the money?
284
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:16,245
You taking the piss?
285
00:18:17,285 --> 00:18:18,445
Take it or leave it.
286
00:18:27,045 --> 00:18:29,685
- Tell anyone and I'll maim you.
- This better be an A.
287
00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:13,605
- You're on time.
- How long is this gonna take, new kid?
288
00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:15,005
Well, um...
289
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,245
I'm already bored.
290
00:19:19,685 --> 00:19:21,005
Have you got any Nesquik?
291
00:19:22,165 --> 00:19:23,845
On... Only Mana.
292
00:19:34,205 --> 00:19:35,445
Do you wanna get monged?
293
00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:36,845
Um...
294
00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:38,845
No, thank you.
295
00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:50,485
- Why is there a minge on your wall?
- What? Where? That's...
296
00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:51,445
Uh...
297
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,125
That's just an orchid.
298
00:19:53,205 --> 00:19:54,805
It's... My mum's super into...
299
00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,445
flora and fauna.
300
00:19:57,885 --> 00:19:59,085
Ooh, uh...
301
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,725
Maybe not inside, sorry.
302
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:05,805
I mean, Adam, we've only been working
for half an hour, so...
303
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:06,805
Yeah.
304
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:08,365
You should keep goin'.
305
00:20:12,165 --> 00:20:14,085
That's it,
just rolling the testicle...
306
00:20:14,165 --> 00:20:16,925
- There's a ball bag on the TV.
- Good.
307
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:18,885
Sorry. Sorry, I, uh...
308
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:21,645
I forgot to take my... my DVD out.
It's my...
309
00:20:22,245 --> 00:20:24,325
- It's my porn.
- A bit old school.
310
00:20:25,885 --> 00:20:28,565
You should get on Pornhub.
There's loads of stuff on there.
311
00:20:28,845 --> 00:20:31,005
You could watch a CGI demon fuck a horse.
312
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,085
- Hm.
- I need to piss.
313
00:20:35,205 --> 00:20:36,925
Upstairs, on your right.
314
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,805
New kid!
315
00:22:09,325 --> 00:22:10,485
Adam?
316
00:22:11,605 --> 00:22:12,605
Get in here!
317
00:22:13,045 --> 00:22:13,925
Oh!
318
00:22:14,005 --> 00:22:15,005
Adam!
319
00:22:15,805 --> 00:22:17,005
Oh...
320
00:22:19,245 --> 00:22:20,685
- You've got a sex dungeon.
- No.
321
00:22:20,765 --> 00:22:22,325
No, this is not. I...
322
00:22:22,765 --> 00:22:26,005
I can explain. This is my mum's office
and she's a therapist.
323
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:27,845
- Sex therapist.
- I don't know what that is.
324
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:30,285
She helps people with sex problems.
325
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,125
- She's a prostitute.
- No.
326
00:22:32,445 --> 00:22:35,325
- Like a pimp.
- No, no, she's like a... a shrink.
327
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,965
But instead of talking about mental health
stuff, she talks about sex.
328
00:22:39,085 --> 00:22:40,085
People's sex lives.
329
00:22:40,925 --> 00:22:42,845
She... She helps people bone better.
330
00:22:43,605 --> 00:22:45,005
Yes, in essence.
331
00:22:47,045 --> 00:22:48,285
Look, um...
332
00:22:50,165 --> 00:22:52,245
Could you not tell anyone
about this, please?
333
00:22:52,325 --> 00:22:54,605
Otis, darling?
334
00:22:54,685 --> 00:22:56,085
I'm home!
335
00:23:08,445 --> 00:23:10,125
Mm! Mmm...
336
00:23:14,525 --> 00:23:16,925
God, that's strong stuff.
337
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:21,205
It is chronic shit.
338
00:23:21,725 --> 00:23:23,925
I'm already hungry.
339
00:23:24,725 --> 00:23:27,445
It's snack time.
340
00:23:35,845 --> 00:23:36,845
Your mum's cool.
341
00:23:37,205 --> 00:23:38,285
Why aren't you cool?
342
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,605
And she's hot.
Why didn't you say she was hot?
343
00:23:42,165 --> 00:23:43,925
Because she's my mum.
344
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:46,965
- I mean, seriously, are you adopted?
- No.
345
00:23:47,045 --> 00:23:48,845
- Then why are you so shit?
- Adam.
346
00:23:48,925 --> 00:23:49,925
Yeah?
347
00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,765
Do you smoke every day?
348
00:23:53,525 --> 00:23:56,285
Yeah. Yeah, most days, Mrs., um...
349
00:23:56,365 --> 00:23:57,685
Oh, just call me Jean.
350
00:23:58,325 --> 00:24:01,085
You know, they've been doing
some interesting studies with cannabis.
351
00:24:01,485 --> 00:24:03,885
They're just starting to wake up
to its health benefits.
352
00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:05,645
Yeah? Like, um...
353
00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:08,405
How it makes everything funny?
354
00:24:08,645 --> 00:24:10,685
- You know, like your face.
- Hm?
355
00:24:10,765 --> 00:24:12,005
Ever so serious,
356
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,125
like a... atlas.
357
00:24:21,845 --> 00:24:26,685
However, it has been linked
to early onset impotence.
358
00:24:27,565 --> 00:24:29,005
Nothing conclusive yet.
359
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:32,125
But be careful
with how much you smoke.
360
00:24:32,205 --> 00:24:33,205
Mum...
361
00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:37,285
I only bring it up
because I have a number of clients
362
00:24:37,365 --> 00:24:40,125
who were heavy drug users at your age,
363
00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:43,085
and now they have trouble
with sexual performance.
364
00:24:43,765 --> 00:24:46,565
- Sexual performance?
- They have trouble finishing.
365
00:24:48,965 --> 00:24:50,605
- Ejaculation.
- Hm.
366
00:24:50,845 --> 00:24:52,365
Jizz, spunk.
367
00:24:53,245 --> 00:24:54,085
Man milk!
368
00:24:54,165 --> 00:24:56,365
- Mum, Jesus Christ!
- Don't have a problem with that.
369
00:24:56,445 --> 00:24:59,045
What makes you think
I've got a problem with that?
370
00:24:59,485 --> 00:25:01,565
I didn't say you had a problem with that.
371
00:25:03,965 --> 00:25:07,005
- But if you want to talk about it...
- I... Uh, okay, I'm gonna go.
372
00:25:07,085 --> 00:25:08,085
I'm gonna go.
373
00:25:09,805 --> 00:25:11,325
Okay, Adam!
374
00:25:12,085 --> 00:25:14,005
- Nice to meet you!
- Mum!
375
00:25:14,725 --> 00:25:16,205
Come and hang out again.
376
00:25:16,965 --> 00:25:19,765
Adam! Adam, wait. Wait.
377
00:25:19,845 --> 00:25:22,565
You and your mum are freaks.
378
00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:33,165
I hope I didn't touch a nerve.
379
00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,965
Your friend is very sensitive.
380
00:25:36,205 --> 00:25:37,845
Ooh, my mouth is immensely dry.
381
00:25:37,925 --> 00:25:40,045
Mum, how many times have I said
382
00:25:40,125 --> 00:25:42,845
you can't go around
therapizing people you don't know?
383
00:25:42,925 --> 00:25:45,405
Your generation is so touchy.
384
00:25:45,485 --> 00:25:48,485
- Information is empowering.
- No, it's fucked up!
385
00:25:48,685 --> 00:25:51,565
Okay, calm down, take a breath.
386
00:25:51,645 --> 00:25:54,325
Let's...
387
00:25:54,405 --> 00:25:56,485
Let the negative energy dissipate.
388
00:25:59,805 --> 00:26:01,645
Okay.
389
00:26:05,045 --> 00:26:07,045
Two...
390
00:26:10,685 --> 00:26:11,805
Sorry I yelled.
391
00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:16,365
And I'm sorry... if I upset your friend.
392
00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:21,445
Come on.
393
00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:31,685
Sweetheart...
394
00:26:35,605 --> 00:26:38,125
I've noticed
you're pretending to masturbate
395
00:26:38,205 --> 00:26:40,845
and I was wondering
if you wanted to talk about it.
396
00:26:42,405 --> 00:26:44,245
It was the hand cream that gave it away.
397
00:26:44,325 --> 00:26:47,645
And, well,
the magazine was a bit overkill.
398
00:26:48,285 --> 00:26:52,565
Anyway, I want you to know that
you can talk to me about anything.
399
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:53,845
No judgment.
400
00:26:54,205 --> 00:26:55,765
This is a safe place.
401
00:26:55,845 --> 00:26:57,405
This is not a safe place, Mum.
402
00:26:57,485 --> 00:27:00,805
You... need to stop analyzing
everything I do.
403
00:27:02,165 --> 00:27:05,885
I will when you stop creating
performative situations
404
00:27:05,965 --> 00:27:07,725
that you clearly want me to observe.
405
00:27:07,805 --> 00:27:09,765
Okay.
406
00:27:10,925 --> 00:27:15,085
I'm going to my room, because I'm angry
and I need some space.
407
00:27:15,165 --> 00:27:17,085
Okay.
408
00:27:17,165 --> 00:27:19,165
We'll talk about it when you're ready.
409
00:27:22,405 --> 00:27:26,125
Darling! It's too loud!
410
00:27:30,205 --> 00:27:31,205
Otis!
411
00:27:32,645 --> 00:27:34,125
Turn it down!
412
00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:56,021
Eric, come help your mother.
413
00:27:56,045 --> 00:27:57,525
Down in a minute!
414
00:28:14,525 --> 00:28:16,925
Oh-ho-ho!
415
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,365
Did you... you know?
416
00:28:35,085 --> 00:28:36,845
Yeah. I'd tell you if I didn't.
417
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:41,205
- Do you want me to drive you home?
- Nope.
418
00:28:41,285 --> 00:28:42,165
Where do you live?
419
00:28:42,245 --> 00:28:44,645
- Honestly, I'm fine.
- Come on, let me drive you home.
420
00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:46,165
We're just fucking, Jackson.
421
00:28:46,285 --> 00:28:48,245
We don’t need to know
each other's postcodes.
422
00:28:48,525 --> 00:28:49,605
See you at school.
423
00:29:07,525 --> 00:29:09,245
Shh!
424
00:29:10,685 --> 00:29:11,685
Adam?
425
00:29:20,765 --> 00:29:22,445
You're five minutes past curfew.
426
00:29:23,285 --> 00:29:24,445
Sorry, Dad.
427
00:29:25,325 --> 00:29:27,765
- Lost track of time.
- Don't let it happen again.
428
00:29:29,445 --> 00:29:30,925
You know the rules.
429
00:29:39,645 --> 00:29:41,485
You can have it back in the morning.
430
00:29:50,165 --> 00:29:51,765
- Hello, lover.
- Ooh! Fuck.
431
00:29:52,365 --> 00:29:54,445
How did you get in? You've gotta go.
432
00:29:58,605 --> 00:30:00,365
Your hand's a bit dry.
433
00:30:12,445 --> 00:30:14,285
Can you not even get hard now?
434
00:30:15,285 --> 00:30:16,725
- Am I that bad?
- Yes.
435
00:30:16,805 --> 00:30:19,925
No! No, I meant no. I got confused.
436
00:30:20,565 --> 00:30:22,005
I don't know why I bother.
437
00:30:25,245 --> 00:30:26,725
Well... Leave out the window.
438
00:30:30,525 --> 00:30:31,685
Good night, Mrs. Groff.
439
00:30:32,325 --> 00:30:33,805
Good night, Headmaster Groff.
440
00:30:34,245 --> 00:30:36,165
What is wrong with you?
441
00:30:36,245 --> 00:30:37,925
Adam, get down here now!
442
00:30:46,725 --> 00:30:49,765
Your mum talked to Adam
about ejaculation?
443
00:30:49,845 --> 00:30:51,765
- She used the words "man milk."
- Oh, my...
444
00:30:51,845 --> 00:30:54,085
It's worse than I thought.
445
00:30:54,205 --> 00:30:56,525
No, I mean... I mean... It's fine.
446
00:30:56,605 --> 00:30:58,725
He was baked,
he's probably forgotten all about it.
447
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,205
Shit.
448
00:31:00,285 --> 00:31:02,085
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...
449
00:31:02,605 --> 00:31:03,605
Don't look.
450
00:31:07,005 --> 00:31:08,485
Watch where you’re going, fag.
451
00:31:08,565 --> 00:31:11,285
Hey, Adam, you know homophobia
is so 2008, right?
452
00:31:11,725 --> 00:31:12,805
Totes passé.
453
00:31:19,965 --> 00:31:20,965
Thanks, Anwar.
454
00:31:21,365 --> 00:31:22,605
- Not your friends.
- Okay.
455
00:31:24,805 --> 00:31:27,005
See? I told you he'd forget.
456
00:31:27,445 --> 00:31:28,445
Yeah...
457
00:32:05,845 --> 00:32:07,245
Yeah!
458
00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:08,325
I'm only saying.
459
00:32:29,925 --> 00:32:31,005
Great, it's you.
460
00:32:31,565 --> 00:32:33,605
I get it. You're mean.
461
00:32:34,645 --> 00:32:35,765
Okay, so...
462
00:32:36,485 --> 00:32:38,085
what was gonna be biology
463
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:42,845
is now an emergency SRE class.
464
00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:45,445
Apparently, there's been an outbreak
of pubic lice.
465
00:32:46,445 --> 00:32:48,365
Mr. Groff felt you needed a refresher.
466
00:32:48,685 --> 00:32:50,325
Lucky me, huh?
467
00:32:50,605 --> 00:32:53,365
I'm joking. This is actually gonna be
incredibly awkward.
468
00:32:53,445 --> 00:32:55,085
You'll be working in pairs.
469
00:32:55,285 --> 00:32:56,845
You'll need worksheets,
470
00:32:56,925 --> 00:32:58,245
two prophylactics,
471
00:32:58,325 --> 00:33:00,085
and a plastic cock and balls.
472
00:33:14,405 --> 00:33:15,405
Um...
473
00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:24,725
Jesus Christ!
474
00:33:26,965 --> 00:33:27,965
What's next?
475
00:33:34,445 --> 00:33:36,845
Uh... That's not the hymen.
476
00:33:37,485 --> 00:33:39,325
I think I know where the hymen is,
but thanks.
477
00:33:39,445 --> 00:33:42,485
Okay, well, I mean, you're... quite wrong.
478
00:33:43,645 --> 00:33:44,645
What is it, then?
479
00:33:46,605 --> 00:33:49,885
They are the paraurethral glands.
480
00:33:50,805 --> 00:33:52,645
The female prostate.
481
00:33:53,885 --> 00:33:54,885
Where's the hymen, then?
482
00:33:58,805 --> 00:33:59,805
Hymen.
483
00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:02,005
Hm.
484
00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:09,365
See me after.
485
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:15,765
Okay, yeah... Phones away, please!
486
00:34:15,845 --> 00:34:16,885
Phones away!
487
00:34:17,765 --> 00:34:18,765
People!
488
00:34:19,445 --> 00:34:20,445
What is it?
489
00:34:21,165 --> 00:34:22,165
Nothing.
490
00:34:22,725 --> 00:34:25,045
The head of the penis
is incredibly sensitive.
491
00:34:25,405 --> 00:34:28,805
Feel free to stimulate it
with your fingers in a circular motion.
492
00:34:28,885 --> 00:34:32,325
As he gets closer to orgasm,
you can speed up.
493
00:34:32,605 --> 00:34:36,845
You'll feel him throbbing in your hand
like a volcano about to erupt.
494
00:34:37,245 --> 00:34:38,565
Look at that!
495
00:34:38,645 --> 00:34:40,245
Huh. Here we go.
496
00:34:40,765 --> 00:34:43,565
- I can feel it. Look, it's throbbing.
- Can we turn this off, please?
497
00:34:43,645 --> 00:34:45,125
Throbbing...
498
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,285
Look...
499
00:34:47,365 --> 00:34:49,165
Oh, fantastic!
500
00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:51,165
And then he comes.
501
00:34:54,205 --> 00:34:55,685
Can you go and see if he's all right?
502
00:34:56,845 --> 00:34:58,245
Oh, fuck it.
503
00:34:58,525 --> 00:35:01,285
Okay, thank you everyone.
That's enough drama for today.
504
00:35:05,205 --> 00:35:06,685
Oh, my God.
505
00:35:11,125 --> 00:35:12,165
Do you want one?
506
00:35:19,365 --> 00:35:20,605
Was that really your mum?
507
00:35:21,165 --> 00:35:22,565
Mm. Could have been a lot worse.
508
00:35:23,285 --> 00:35:25,045
She could have been stroking
an actual penis.
509
00:35:26,565 --> 00:35:29,125
Oh, God. Yeah, I just think
I'm gonna die now.
510
00:35:29,925 --> 00:35:31,005
Don't worry about it.
511
00:35:31,485 --> 00:35:34,405
Speaking as a long-term member
of the Moordale Social Pariah Club,
512
00:35:34,525 --> 00:35:35,725
you'll survive.
513
00:35:50,045 --> 00:35:51,725
Oh, ow!
514
00:35:56,365 --> 00:35:57,365
Shit!
515
00:35:57,605 --> 00:35:58,925
Oh, my God.
516
00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:02,525
- Get out!
- Okay.
517
00:36:02,605 --> 00:36:03,885
- Fine.
- No, wait!
518
00:36:04,685 --> 00:36:05,685
Don't go.
519
00:36:06,245 --> 00:36:07,125
Help me.
520
00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:09,445
I know it was you
who sent that video around.
521
00:36:09,885 --> 00:36:11,445
- So?
- So I'm not gonna help you.
522
00:36:11,525 --> 00:36:13,845
Please, new kid.
It feels... like it's gonna explode.
523
00:36:13,925 --> 00:36:16,245
- And not in a good way.
- Well, that's not my problem.
524
00:36:16,325 --> 00:36:17,325
No, wait!
525
00:36:18,045 --> 00:36:19,805
Please, don't go.
526
00:36:19,885 --> 00:36:22,565
- Should we get the nurse?
- No! No, you can't tell anyone.
527
00:36:23,365 --> 00:36:25,165
- What if he dies or something?
- Dies?
528
00:36:25,245 --> 00:36:26,245
Adam...
529
00:36:27,285 --> 00:36:28,285
what did you take?
530
00:36:30,045 --> 00:36:31,045
Viagra.
531
00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:32,125
How much Viagra?
532
00:36:33,845 --> 00:36:36,045
Hey, look, um...
533
00:36:36,565 --> 00:36:39,285
Think of this room
as being four walls of trust.
534
00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:41,485
Anything you say is fine.
There's no judgment.
535
00:36:42,725 --> 00:36:44,365
- Three Viagras.
- Jesus Christ.
536
00:36:44,445 --> 00:36:46,205
- You said there'd be no judgment.
- Sorry.
537
00:36:46,285 --> 00:36:49,045
Is three Viagras bad?
Her reaction made it seem like it was bad.
538
00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:51,245
I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi.
539
00:36:51,325 --> 00:36:54,605
- No wonder. You could besiege a castle.
- I said stop staring at it!
540
00:36:54,685 --> 00:36:55,965
Sorry! It's like a third leg.
541
00:36:58,565 --> 00:36:59,645
What now?
542
00:37:01,445 --> 00:37:02,445
We wait.
543
00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:10,405
- How is it looking?
- Still large, still...
544
00:37:11,885 --> 00:37:12,725
angry.
545
00:37:12,805 --> 00:37:15,645
- Where did you even get the Viagra from?
- None of your business.
546
00:37:15,725 --> 00:37:17,565
Please don't tell me you got it
from your dad.
547
00:37:20,445 --> 00:37:21,445
I didn't.
548
00:37:24,405 --> 00:37:25,325
Why did you take it?
549
00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:28,205
I don't know.
Heard it gives you a good buzz.
550
00:37:28,285 --> 00:37:30,445
You should try it
instead of being such a joy fucker.
551
00:37:30,525 --> 00:37:31,565
He's having dick problems.
552
00:37:31,605 --> 00:37:34,285
- Yeah? What would you know, Wiley?
- Girls talk, clodpole.
553
00:37:34,485 --> 00:37:35,805
Aimee said you can't come.
554
00:37:42,045 --> 00:37:43,165
It's too much pressure.
555
00:37:45,205 --> 00:37:47,285
- What is?
- Everyone knows I've got a giant penis.
556
00:37:47,365 --> 00:37:49,125
- So you wanted to make it bigger?
- No.
557
00:37:50,005 --> 00:37:51,565
I just wanted it to get hard.
558
00:37:51,645 --> 00:37:54,125
- Well, why do you think it couldn't?
- I don't know.
559
00:37:55,565 --> 00:37:57,405
I can't stop thinkin' about stuff
when we shag.
560
00:37:57,445 --> 00:37:59,645
"What if I'm not good at this?
Maybe I'm doin' it wrong.
561
00:37:59,685 --> 00:38:02,285
Maybe she knows I'm doin' it wrong.
What if my dad walks in?
562
00:38:02,365 --> 00:38:04,821
What if my dad walks in and it's right
when I'm blowing my load
563
00:38:04,845 --> 00:38:07,085
and I can't stop,
and he sees my jizz face?
564
00:38:07,165 --> 00:38:09,765
- What if..."
- Okay. Um... Yeah, no, we get it.
565
00:38:12,565 --> 00:38:13,725
Okay.
566
00:38:13,805 --> 00:38:14,805
Well...
567
00:38:15,965 --> 00:38:20,285
Sounds to me like you're experiencing
some performance anxiety.
568
00:38:20,925 --> 00:38:24,805
Perhaps the mythology surrounding the size
of your penis doesn't help things.
569
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:27,045
It is interesting you mention
your father.
570
00:38:27,765 --> 00:38:29,501
How does being the headmaster's son
affect you?
571
00:38:29,525 --> 00:38:31,125
Well, it's shit, obviously.
572
00:38:31,765 --> 00:38:32,605
Go on.
573
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:34,741
Everyone's watching me all the time.
Everyone's like,
574
00:38:34,765 --> 00:38:37,045
"There goes Adam Groff,
headmaster's son.
575
00:38:37,125 --> 00:38:39,965
He's got a big massive elephant's cock."
I've got feelings.
576
00:38:44,285 --> 00:38:45,325
I guess that...
577
00:38:48,725 --> 00:38:50,285
I wish I could be a normal kid.
578
00:38:53,045 --> 00:38:54,485
With a normal dick.
579
00:38:58,205 --> 00:38:59,325
And a normal dad.
580
00:39:01,845 --> 00:39:03,125
I think...
581
00:39:03,765 --> 00:39:06,765
that you need to own your narrative,
582
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,645
not let it control you.
583
00:39:08,725 --> 00:39:11,005
Yes, you have a large appendage.
584
00:39:11,365 --> 00:39:14,085
Yes, you're very visible in the school
due to your father's position.
585
00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,685
But neither is likely to change.
586
00:39:17,165 --> 00:39:18,365
But your outlook can.
587
00:39:19,645 --> 00:39:20,685
Does that make sense?
588
00:39:21,165 --> 00:39:22,165
Not really.
589
00:39:24,045 --> 00:39:26,805
It shouldn't matter
what anyone in the school thinks.
590
00:39:26,925 --> 00:39:28,125
You are who you are.
591
00:39:28,205 --> 00:39:30,205
Don't let anyone take that away from you.
592
00:39:30,725 --> 00:39:32,845
So everyone's wrong, and I'm basically...
593
00:39:33,965 --> 00:39:34,965
awesome.
594
00:39:36,885 --> 00:39:39,805
Be proud of your penis and your heritage.
595
00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:41,845
'Cause neither are going anywhere.
596
00:39:42,285 --> 00:39:43,845
You should work with what you've got.
597
00:39:53,485 --> 00:39:54,885
It's going down, new kid.
598
00:39:56,445 --> 00:39:57,445
Thank God.
599
00:40:00,925 --> 00:40:03,485
Uh, you won't tell anyone about this,
will you?
600
00:40:04,165 --> 00:40:06,165
You said that thing about
the four walls of trust.
601
00:40:06,285 --> 00:40:07,445
We won't tell anyone.
602
00:40:07,725 --> 00:40:10,285
If you leave my friend Eric alone.
603
00:40:11,445 --> 00:40:13,525
- For good.
- Tromboner?
604
00:40:13,765 --> 00:40:14,765
It's your choice.
605
00:40:15,845 --> 00:40:16,845
Fine.
606
00:40:18,045 --> 00:40:19,805
I think you owe Otis an apology.
607
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:26,605
Sorry for sending the video around,
but your mum...
608
00:40:27,685 --> 00:40:29,325
really got in my head, new kid.
609
00:40:30,165 --> 00:40:31,445
She's like some kind of...
610
00:40:32,645 --> 00:40:33,645
sexy witch.
611
00:40:42,165 --> 00:40:43,405
Well, that was unusual.
612
00:40:46,285 --> 00:40:47,645
See you around, Otis.
613
00:41:01,805 --> 00:41:04,685
Do you think Headmaster Groff
is well hung too?
614
00:41:05,245 --> 00:41:06,725
Yogurt's vegan, right?
615
00:41:16,005 --> 00:41:18,445
Hey!
616
00:41:18,525 --> 00:41:20,325
Can I have everyone's attention, please?
617
00:41:23,045 --> 00:41:24,165
I have something to say.
618
00:41:24,685 --> 00:41:27,645
My name is Adam Groff.
Headmaster Groff is my dad.
619
00:41:28,045 --> 00:41:30,605
Which is weird,
'cause I'm quite shit at school.
620
00:41:32,885 --> 00:41:34,525
And this...
621
00:41:36,085 --> 00:41:37,285
This is my dick.
622
00:41:43,845 --> 00:41:44,845
No.
623
00:41:45,405 --> 00:41:46,725
Yes, it is large.
624
00:41:48,045 --> 00:41:49,981
- Oh, my God.
- But I've done some googling.
625
00:41:50,005 --> 00:41:52,485
- Oh, my God.
- And it's actually just above average
626
00:41:52,565 --> 00:41:55,405
in terms of worldwide adult statistics.
627
00:41:56,565 --> 00:41:57,565
So, yeah.
628
00:41:58,045 --> 00:42:00,165
That's me.
629
00:42:00,845 --> 00:42:01,925
And that's my dick.
630
00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:15,605
You have to break up with him.
631
00:42:16,285 --> 00:42:17,485
Yeah, I do.
632
00:42:26,205 --> 00:42:27,525
I have to tell you something.
633
00:42:32,045 --> 00:42:33,045
I'm owning my narrative.
634
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:35,701
I'm owning my narrative!
635
00:42:47,885 --> 00:42:50,005
I owned it!
636
00:42:55,845 --> 00:42:58,445
Welcome back, old friend.
How I've missed you.
637
00:43:01,125 --> 00:43:03,045
Uh, what did you wanna talk about?
638
00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:06,605
We have to break up.
639
00:43:08,645 --> 00:43:11,005
- We just had sex.
- Yeah.
640
00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:12,965
I wanted to do it one last time.
641
00:43:13,645 --> 00:43:15,165
For, like, memories.
642
00:43:16,285 --> 00:43:17,805
But I don't understand.
643
00:43:18,885 --> 00:43:20,085
I thought it was me.
644
00:43:21,005 --> 00:43:22,445
But it's definitely you.
645
00:43:23,045 --> 00:43:25,205
- What is?
- Everything.
646
00:43:26,925 --> 00:43:29,485
Just everything about us is wrong.
647
00:43:30,765 --> 00:43:31,845
Sorry.
648
00:43:32,685 --> 00:43:33,965
But it's over.
649
00:43:42,485 --> 00:43:45,125
Adam Groff
to the headmaster's office, please.
650
00:43:48,045 --> 00:43:50,245
Adam Groff
to the headmaster's office, please.
651
00:43:55,485 --> 00:43:56,765
And thank you for coming.
652
00:44:04,405 --> 00:44:06,485
Do you have any idea what you have done?
653
00:44:08,405 --> 00:44:11,725
I've had multiple parents threatening
to take their children out of school.
654
00:44:11,805 --> 00:44:15,605
They were going to charge you with
public indecency if I hadn't intervened.
655
00:44:17,565 --> 00:44:19,125
Detention for the rest of term.
656
00:44:19,205 --> 00:44:20,925
- What? Dad...
- You heard me.
657
00:44:21,645 --> 00:44:22,645
Now get out.
658
00:44:24,565 --> 00:44:26,285
I can't even bear to look at you.
659
00:44:34,125 --> 00:44:35,685
I broke up with Adam.
660
00:44:36,005 --> 00:44:37,925
- Still couldn't come?
- No, he did.
661
00:44:38,365 --> 00:44:39,645
We had goodbye sex.
662
00:44:40,085 --> 00:44:43,405
Thing is, school's hard enough
without having to date an actual flasher.
663
00:44:43,845 --> 00:44:46,021
I need to find someone
a bit more socially acceptable...
664
00:44:46,045 --> 00:44:48,165
- Rewind, he came?
- Yeah.
665
00:44:48,725 --> 00:44:51,525
It was like something clicked
in his brain. Boom!
666
00:46:05,405 --> 00:46:06,405
No!
667
00:46:08,445 --> 00:46:10,885
Faster! Faster!
668
00:46:10,965 --> 00:46:12,965
Faster! Oh, oh, oh!
669
00:46:13,045 --> 00:46:15,645
Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't stop!
670
00:46:15,725 --> 00:46:18,085
- Okay! Good! Keep going!
- Yes! Yes!
671
00:46:18,165 --> 00:46:20,165
Don't... don't...
672
00:46:20,245 --> 00:46:22,526
Don't stop! Don't stop!
673
00:46:56,165 --> 00:46:57,165
Oh!
674
00:46:57,285 --> 00:46:58,365
Very sorry.
675
00:46:58,445 --> 00:46:59,765
This isn't the bathroom.
676
00:46:59,845 --> 00:47:01,485
No, this is not the bathroom.
677
00:47:01,565 --> 00:47:03,005
I'm Harry, by the way.
678
00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:16,085
- Mum.
- Yes, darling?
679
00:47:16,965 --> 00:47:18,325
I can't masturbate.
680
00:47:21,125 --> 00:47:22,405
Sweetheart, I'm glad you...
681
00:47:22,485 --> 00:47:24,845
I can't masturbate.
But I don't wanna talk about it.
682
00:47:25,445 --> 00:47:26,645
I'm dealing with it on my own.
683
00:47:28,125 --> 00:47:29,685
Thank you for telling me.
684
00:47:36,605 --> 00:47:38,365
Yeah, I think I'd better leave too.
685
00:47:39,085 --> 00:47:41,045
I think that's probably best.
686
00:47:51,805 --> 00:47:55,965
Well, only 376 days of sixth form left.
687
00:47:56,045 --> 00:47:57,325
Yeah!
688
00:47:57,405 --> 00:48:00,205
I thought this was supposed to be
the best two years of our lives.
689
00:48:00,285 --> 00:48:02,045
At least you got Adam
to leave me alone.
690
00:48:02,125 --> 00:48:03,765
Thank you very much for that, man.
691
00:48:04,645 --> 00:48:06,445
- We had a deal.
- Yeah, your advice was shit.
692
00:48:06,525 --> 00:48:07,965
My girlfriend's broken up with me.
693
00:48:08,045 --> 00:48:10,005
Everyone's got a picture
of my lovely big dick.
694
00:48:11,005 --> 00:48:12,005
Deal's off.
695
00:48:13,325 --> 00:48:14,365
See you later...
696
00:48:15,085 --> 00:48:16,085
Tromboner.
697
00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:23,965
See? That's why you always wear a helmet.
698
00:48:27,165 --> 00:48:29,645
Um, Maeve Wiley's
coming straight over here.
699
00:48:29,725 --> 00:48:32,925
She's literally walking
straight towards us with purpose.
700
00:48:34,125 --> 00:48:36,005
Uh, Otis. Otis! Otis.
701
00:48:36,085 --> 00:48:38,085
- Okay, she's here.
- Nice helmet.
702
00:48:38,765 --> 00:48:40,765
It's just, safety first.
703
00:48:40,885 --> 00:48:42,205
Can I talk to you for a sec?
704
00:48:44,605 --> 00:48:47,165
Oh, do you want me...
Do you want me to go?
705
00:48:47,485 --> 00:48:49,085
- Yeah.
- Oh, good.
706
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:51,245
I'll just, um...
707
00:48:52,165 --> 00:48:53,805
leave, then, shall I?
708
00:49:02,605 --> 00:49:04,925
What did you wanna talk about?
709
00:49:06,765 --> 00:49:07,885
See those two over there?
710
00:49:08,205 --> 00:49:11,205
The one on the right has never been
in a lesbian relationship before.
711
00:49:11,285 --> 00:49:13,245
She's terrified
of her new girlfriend's vagina.
712
00:49:14,365 --> 00:49:15,245
See her?
713
00:49:15,325 --> 00:49:18,445
She believes that flicking the bean
might make her clit drop off.
714
00:49:18,685 --> 00:49:21,565
She hates herself.
But she just can't stop wanking.
715
00:49:22,485 --> 00:49:23,685
Do you see them?
716
00:49:24,205 --> 00:49:26,725
Yeah, he's definitely giving everyone
pubic lice.
717
00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:28,325
What's your point?
718
00:49:29,445 --> 00:49:31,805
The students at this school
need your help, Otis.
719
00:49:32,485 --> 00:49:33,485
And we need their money.
720
00:49:34,005 --> 00:49:36,781
I haven't really worked out the details
yet, but I'm good with numbers, so,
721
00:49:36,805 --> 00:49:39,525
I'll deal with the business end of things
and you can do the therapy.
722
00:49:39,605 --> 00:49:41,541
We'll charge for every appointment
and split the cash.
723
00:49:41,565 --> 00:49:43,485
- Therapy?
- Yeah, sex therapy.
724
00:49:44,045 --> 00:49:46,245
You have a gift.
It would be irresponsible to waste it.
725
00:49:46,845 --> 00:49:51,085
- Look how you helped Adam.
- But I didn't. He hates me now.
726
00:49:51,165 --> 00:49:52,405
He came, Otis.
727
00:49:53,045 --> 00:49:55,125
Your words made him come.
728
00:49:56,765 --> 00:49:57,845
Sort of.
729
00:50:00,285 --> 00:50:02,405
Look, I haven't got all day.
Are you in or out?
730
00:50:03,245 --> 00:50:05,645
- Uh...
- Okay, fine. Don't worry about it.
731
00:50:10,405 --> 00:50:12,485
Uh... Okay. Maeve!
732
00:50:12,565 --> 00:50:13,565
Wait! Wait!
733
00:50:17,325 --> 00:50:18,325
I'm in!52783
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