Original subtitles

Toyota, Audi, Mercedes...

they've been after my dealership for 10 years.

Then why not sell?

Papa would turn in his grave.

At your age, you should enjoy life.

But I am. See the convertible blocking the garage?

Your garage is blocked?

I mean the red car parked out front.

The latest Lancia Flavia. V6 engine,

3.6-liters, 283 horsepower.

It's sold. I deliver it Monday.

Want to take a spin out to the Deauville casino?

Excuse me.

Yes, Irene.

Hurry, I'm with a client.

What?

Mr. Borgnoli!

You can't leave like that!

Quick, the car keys!

Quick, quick. The keys!

Rinse it or it'll come out too red.

- I have no choice. - Really, really red!

You Can't Choose Your Family

Their fast cars don't even move! I can't believe it.

You can't do this!

Where is he, Irene?

In your office.

What's that dripping?

Nothing! This is no time!

Mr. Borgnoli?

You can't take my cars away.

Irene, lie down in front of the truck!

I have a writ.

No payment, no merchandise. It's normal.

What do I sell now? Oysters?

Look,

I'll settle this fast. Let me call the bank.

Hello, Mrs. Flappy? Cesar Borgnoli.

I'm with... What's your name?

Chaumeil & Berton debt-collectors.

Reassure Mr. Burton about my bank guarantees.

Here he is.

Mr. Chaumeil speaking.

The debt comes to 234,000 euros.

That's nothing in my business. 10 cars.

Take the cars down, fella! It's settled!

Fine. Have a nice day, madam.

Papa's bank since '56. They're terrific. What'd she say?

That they're cutting you off.

I'm sorry, sir.

It's okay! Keep loading.

We take the two Deltas inside, too?

Of course!

- Please, ma'am. - I won't move!

Oh, my god,

don't stay there, please.

The convertible, too.

I'm going to need help. Go ahead.

What?

You two? You want a child?

Why, yeah.

We've been together 3 years. Couples have children.

What's wrong? We fought for it.

You look blown away.

No, darlings! That's great!

Can he have one?

The whole bowl, if you like. Just concentrate.

Are you watching?

- You with us, Jean-Paul? - I'm with you.

It's here

in this incredible village on stilts...

- You're a knockout in a tank top! - Cut!

What? What now?

There's too much noise!

Tell them to be quiet.

They can watch, but quietly.

Why "Cut!" during the show?

It's not the show. It's the making-of.

So in the heart of traditional Thailand...

That old guy's all tangled up.

It's Video Gag!

No one gives a damn that the old man fell in the drink?

Old people falling is always funny.

- Hand me my tobacco, honey. - It is funny!

Be quiet and watch.

- What's that? - A shrimp net.

- And where are you? - In the net.

You jumped in that yucky water?

This is wild.

Hear that, Cocteau?

The old guy's spitting. How gross!

Who's the little girl? Looks like a sad clay figurine.

That's Maily.

- The old man's granddaughter. - Cocteau, stay.

What did Daddy say?

Now a longboat is taking him to the hospital.

They go to the hospital by longboat?

What a weird country!

Where are you?

Working.

That bitch of a host kept on shooting. Make him stop.

Stay. Behave.

What a hunk!

Who's the big fellow?

He's not Chinese.

He's a French doctor.

Well done, Kim. You saved a man's life.

Not so fast. The grandfather died.

The only family Maily had.

What a horrible story!

Spit it out, Cocteau!

He ate the foil.

Spit it out! Go on, Cocteau.

There, he spit it out.

That's for sure.

Fizzy water will get it out.

Why show me such a grim movie?

We want to adopt the girl.

I'll be the godfather.

You can be more than that.

What do you mean, "more"?

The Thais just changed adoption laws.

Singles can't adopt. And both parents must be present.

They only want married couples.

That's where you come in.

Play my husband and pick up the child with me.

Who else but you?

I'd have loved to, darlings.

But I get tinnitus when I fly,

and Cocteau can't handle 10 hours in the hold.

The pig still isn't potty-trained.

What if he...

"went" in the cabin?

Of course.

Had we known Cocteau wasn't potty-trained,

we'd never have asked. Never.

It's all sewed up, HervГ©!

A friend at City Hall will do us a marriage certificate.

- A fake one. - No, a real one.

A real fake.

I tell you, there's no risk with these papers.

I'd have loved to, but I don't have vacation time.

What'd I do with my cuffs?

Must have left them at Brice's last night.

You're doing wonders for the community.

I'm with you all the way.

Maybe we should try a hetero. There are more of them.

That's for sure.

- Say... - What?

Weren't you married in a past life?

Trouble is, Nadine's expecting twins.

- Congratulations. - Two? That's wonderful.

Sure! She's confined to bed, feet up.

I can't say I have to go to Thailand with my ex-wife

as her fake husband when I was her real one before.

Understand?

I just can't see it.

No problem.

Not finished?

Anyway, she's awfully cute. She's got something.

Turn off the TV.

- We'll never find anyone. - That's for sure.

That's for sure.

Unless it's someone in the family.

Meaning?

I only have sisters. But don't you have a brother?

Yes. But we fell out three years ago.

I wouldn't bail him out on Papa's misrun garage.

Anyway, you two'd never get along.

- Why not? - He's everything you detest.

His ideal women: Mama and bimbo hairdressers.

I can handle his kind. Anyway, it's only for 48 hours.

Leave that bunny alone.

- It's Maily's bunny. - She's not here yet!

If I go with him,

your brother's name will be on the adoption papers.

Meaning yours.

Wouldn't that be better?

Hello, Gwen. How is she today?

So-so.

- Is that you, Cesar? - It's me, Mama. Be right there.

She got dizzy throwing bread to the pigeons.

' Are you okay? - Yes. Why?

No reason. By the way, your sister's here.

I know, we're meeting here. No need to whisper.

No need to shout either!

How are you doing?

Yesterday, I thought my time had come.

I'll call Dr. Fitoussi.

Too late! Call a lawyer instead.

What's that on your head?

Did you get burned?

Hello, Cesar.

Hi, Alex.

How nice to see you together again.

An image I'll carry with me.

Carry it where you like.

See her in her grave?

Whose grave?

No one's, Mama! General de Gaulle's!

Enough, Cesar. General de Gaulle died last year.

Is it ready, Gwen? She's hungry.

No more food for me.

I have a shrinking glottis.

Stop it, Mama! There's no such thing!

There is. Kim's cat died from it.

Kim?

Who's Kim?

This little girl means a lot to me and my relationship.

I can't leave Mama alone.

She has Gwen. And I'll look after her for the 3 days.

I'm not going with you.

Keep it down.

You're our last chance.

I get it. Relax, I get the picture.

But this falls right on my open house weekend.

Shit! I forgot about that.

Postpone it?

The date's set by the car maker. And right now,

I'd better sell some cars.

How's business?

As Papa said: We're headed down the drain.

What if I gave you that money you asked for?

It wouldn't hurt.

I'd have to go over my books.

I might still be short.

I'll add to it.

Sure your scheme is airtight? In those places, trouble comes easy.

It's not a war zone. I'm your sis. And a lawyer.

By the way, know any auctioneers?

- Yes, why? - Because...

I have the entire Renault 4 collection. From Day 1.

I'm only missing the Savanna. With a large roof rack.

It'd be great if you find me one.

So, if I add 50,000 euros will you go with Kim?

Your Viet orphan boy story moves me.

She's Thai and she's a girl.

That's not the problem. The sad thing is, she's an orphan.

I'll jot down the name.

It's a four, like the number.

And Savanna. Like Savanna.

- Want her name? - Whose?

The girl's.

Maily. Isn't that a pretty name?

Sure. I can't really tell.

They say Thailand's paradise.

To Bangkok? Doctors are money! Money! Money!

I understand, Mrs. Ling,

but I'm a G.P. I don't reduce ears.

Dr. Luix! We have confidence in you!

Please! Kiss! Kiss!

They too big! Too big! No good for nothing!

What matters is to hear well.

Ugly!

They define you.

He can't even wear no cap! Others yes, but him no cap.

Anyway, that's nature.

Two organs continue to grow as you age:

the nose and the ears.

And there is also an organ

that gets smaller with age!

Patai-Chung Orphanage

NO, stop!

- Stop! Not here! - It's the law!

Not here! Stop.

It's Dr. Luix!

Hi, pumpkin.

Go and play.

Mother Marie-Souye, what'd they want?

To post the new adoption laws. Over the children's pictures!

Ah, yes. I heard.

Only married couples can adopt now.

A fine thing.

A child should be raised by a father and mother.

Your malaria acting up again, Mother?

Roll up your sleeve.

You know little Maily is leaving us this week.

Her new parents are arriving.

I hate shots.

I have to fetch them at the airport.

Not like this. Send someone else?

Sister Lucienne had an accident.

She ran into an elephant with the tuk-tuk.

Driver's license confiscated.

Why don't you pick up the parents?

Bangkok holds bad memories.

It's been over 5 years since the Lord took your wife.

End your penitence. You have a right to happiness.

And they're French. You should be glad.

I usually avoid them.

The mother works for French television.

And the father?

In cars. A pump attendant, I think.

- How old is he? - About 50.

I see. Pump attendant at 50.

I hope they send Maily to college.

They arrive tomorrow at 3 p.m.

Flight Thai 807.

Where the hell is he?

- He'd better not back out. - He gave me his word.

I hate latecomers.

There he is.

What's that hair color?

Bordeaux-mahogany?

Sorry I'm late. Wrong airport. A Club Med habit.

So this is the Beast.

Beauty! Sorry, Beauty!

Pleased to meet you. Kim.

Cesar.

Maybe we should kiss. As husband and wife.

That way, it'll be done with.

Angela by Cacharel. Reminds me of an ex.

No, it's Meow by Gamahuche.

Remind you of anyone?

Gamahuche? Just a sec.

C'mere.

- I told Irene you'd wire the money. - When you're back with the kid.

Natch'. It's just to say, lrene's in the know.

She seems nice, funny and all that.

She reminds me of someone in that tank top. But who?

It'll come back to you.

- A problem? - No, honey. Everything's cool.

Let's go to check-in.

I'll take your bag, Kim.

Thanks, that's sweet.

It weighs a ton! What have you got in there?

My kitchen sink. I'm afraid someone'll steal it.

Just like me. A laugh a minute!

We could start an act in Bangkok.

We won't have time.

From behind you remind me of...

Another ex?

My high school gym teacher, Mr. Chauvelau.

I worshipped him!

"Muscle Man." He always wore a muscle shirt!

Like you.

- I might not last 48 hours. - I warned you.

What a line!

Bangkok. Business, 1st Class, this way, please.

Don't worry.

It's cool.

Everything'll be fine.

Hold this.

- It's dumb to make a spectacle. - What spectacle?

When straights kiss, it's normal. We're obscene. Is that it?

It looks like my wife is cheating with another woman.

Who do you mean?

You and me! Mr. and Mrs. Borgnoli.

So, you're in television?

Alex told me you hosted "Of Horses and Men."

I'm a sound man. For "Of Houses and Men."

I stopped watching TV in 2004. Like you, I'd rather read.

Oh, no.

That's all we needed! I can close up shop!

What's wrong?

They're reinstating the road tax!

I'll go sell lemons in Cavaillon.

Melons.

What melons?

Cavaillon melons. Not lemons.

It was an image.

Champagne?

- A glass of champ? - I don't drink alcohol.

Juice then, soda?

What sodas do you have?

It's okay, Cesar. I'm not thirsty.

I'll stick with the champagne.

- The stewardess is cute. - Yes, very.

Very cute.

Sorry about earlier.

I overreacted about your...

little "peck."

It was no peck. We kissed as lovers do.

Sure, of course. That's why...

Did you see that western with the two cowboys who...

What was it called again? Great movie.

Baden-Baden Mountain.

Brokeback Mountain. Baden-Baden's a town in German.

Miles from Cavaillon.

Okay, but it was still a mountain.

An ex dragged me to see it.

Well, it really got to me.

Even though I'm not... No, really.

But it's true...

Two guys, but really in love. In love like...

you and Alex,

but as guys.

I'll try to sleep.

If you can't, just ask. Take your pick:

Auto Buyers' Guide, Auto News, Auto Plus

and The Auto Monitor,

which, if you ask me...

I'm not asking.

...Is still the bible.

Gladly.

What's your name?

I'll find Out.

- Time to wake up. - Okay.

- Where are we? - In the air.

We land soon. We have to go over stuff.

What stuff?

My head weighs a ton.

For the nun we've been married 10 years. We have to rehearse.

- Shit. - What?

I lost a sock.

We'll look later.

Focus! You have to answer her questions right.

- Where'd we meet? - At the airport.

Anyone find a sock in the night?

Your sock didn't run away. It's on the plane somewhere.

I'll start again: Where'd we meet?

Wherever. Someone stole it. Lisle socks aren't cheap.

A one-legged cripple, maybe.

We met through your sister. You listening?

I don't think it's wise to get my sister mixed up in this.

- Why not? - It's obvious.

You're together.

If anyone cross-checks, they'll be on to us.

Then let's say at friends.

That seems smarter.

I can't wear just one sock. They'll spot me right off.

The attendant must have extras.

Not lisle socks.

On this company, they have them.

Okay.

Neither. Adoption.

Over there. Hey,you!

Honey, get over here.

Your passport.

Chief!

- What'd you tell them? - The truth. Why lie?

They have different names.

There's your answer.

What's this paper for?

A permit to travel around the country.

They kept my passport.

Only until we leave with Maily.

With who?

Maily, our daughter!

Take it easy.

Jet lag's got me confused. And these Chinese names!

They checked the certificate!

Calm down. Maybe they found your sock.

Walk slowly and carry my bag.

We don't even have the embassy phone number.

- Shit. - Now what?

It's the French doctor.

Good news. A doctor on hand in such a country isn't a bad thing.

- I'll do the talking. - Watch your tone.

Shut up!

Honey“.

Yes, that's me.

Glad to meet you. Dr. Luix lzkeban.

Mother Marie-Souye is ill. She asked me to come.

Hello, Doctor. Sorry...

The damp heat makes my palms sweat.

Yet the airport is air-conditioned.

Right... It must be lovely outside.

lzkeban. Is that a Spanish name?

No relation. I'm Basque.

No relation? It's still pretty close.

They run bulls on both sides.

The Basque Country isn't just bullfights.

Where exactly are you from, Doctor?

I was born in Arcangues.

Wasn't Dario Moreno from the same place?

That was Luis Mariano.

Mariano, Moreno... Kinda like Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Even Tweedledum and Tweedledum, if I may.

The car's outside.

Lead the way.

- He seems nice. - Shut up.

We going straight to the orphanage?

Not until tomorrow. A force 9 typhoon is still blowing.

Shit! How long are we gonna be holed up here?

For as long as we have to, honey.

For tonight, I've booked rooms in a fine hotel.

I'm sure you'll like it.

Mostly Japanese makes here.

What an eye.

Figures, for a pump attendant.

- Who is? - You.

Who said so?

It's in the adoption file Mother Superior showed me.

She's off her rocker!

Take it easy, Cesar. It's my fault. I said mechanic,

and she wrote pump attendant.

Pump attendant, mechanic. It's Tweedledee

and HumptyDo, as you say.

I'm not a mechanic either. Why'd you say that?

Just what do you do in automobiles?

I'm the exclusive dealer for Italian prestige cars

in Western Paris.

I wasn't far off. You're a car salesman.

So I'm a car salesman.

Now I've heard it all!

It doesn't matter as long as you're a good father to Maily.

The doctor's right. That's what counts.

Anyway, attendants are a thing of the past.

Now it's self-service or credit cards.

Tell that to Marie-Stewya.

Marie-Souye.

I'll pass it on.

Wow!

Your pickup's had it.

Junkyard material.

Never. It was my wife's car. She loved it

Forgive us, Doctor. We didn't know.

We had no idea.

Bags there. Climb in.

We didn't know what?

Shut up, I said.

- Move it, Cesar. - Hang on a second.

Old, but this pickup makes tracks.

They sure knew how to build engines back then.

Is it normal to be stuck so long?

That's Bangkok.

I'm curious by nature.

An observer. But this staggers me.

What does? The city's energy? Me, too.

I meant the size of ears.

Whose ears?

People's. Lots of them have huge ears.

Stop talking nonsense, Cesar.

He's joking, Doctor.

He's right.

It's something I've often noticed but I can't explain.

Bangkok isn't Thailand. The city's ruined by cars.

Plus certain Westerners and their sexual abominations.

A sin and a shame.

Right, honey?

Basically, it's still the land of the elephant.

That might explain the big ears.

We've said enough about ears.

And child trafficking, to boot.

They arrested a New Zealand couple,

supposedly married, who came to adopt with fake papers.

That's awful. It's appalling.

What happened?

They got 25 years. In Pachay.

They don't play around.

They're child traffickers, sweetie.

They deserve it.

I'd have shot them.

- I think it's moving. - Yep, it's moving.

Welcome.

Thank you, Sam.

What a classy place! Nice work, doc.

We're just crossing the lobby to get to the pier.

Oh, yeah?

No tourist trap for you.

- Too bad. - I prefer.

International palace hotels depress me.

Never mind the rates.

So what? My sister's paying.

She is? Do you have money problems?

Not at all! It's just because...

- Excuse me. - It's me, sweetheart.

Who is it?

- I'll catch up with you. - Okay.

Actually, my sister...

I lent my sister money.

In her line she can't pay back in cash, so she said,

"Treat the kid to a luxury hotel, it's on me."

Word for word.

What's your sister do?

Lawyer in a huge firm.

Getting cash out of that loony bin is touch and go-go.

- Touch and go-go? - You bet.

Your brother's a prize schmuck.

- Where is he now? - Driving the doctor nuts.

- A Thai? - No, French. A sort of bush doctor.

- Tush? - Not tush. "Bush" with a

Why'd he come to meet you?

- No idea. - He suspicious?

Not at all! Luckily.

He must think I'm married to a jerk. That's all.

Wait while I watch his next screw-up.

He's getting in a boat,

I bet he'll fall in.

Nope, not him. His bag.

- Drop it. - No way!

It's got all my Lacoste shirts and my Lancia suede jacket!

I'll pay if he dives for it.

For $10 he'd swim across the river.

Hand me your sandwich.

I don't want his sandwich.

Throw it in the water. You'll see.

Throw it in, I said.

What's it got to do with my bag?

Holy cow! How gross!

- It's teeming with them. - Catfish.

They're sacred. The river's full of them.

Below are man-sized monitor lizards.

Your bag's already history.

What's going on?

You lose something, sweetie?

Lizards ate my polo shirts.

There! They ate my polo shirts!

A great start!

Looks charming.

- It's here? - There.

What do we do?

Get out.

We get out? Okay. Here I go.

- Go on. - Gimme a second.

I almost fell.

The bag.

Right, I take the bag.

- It's Mama. - Yes, Mama, I hear you.

Did you arrive? No news.

Yes, I'm in Deauville.

It's windy on the boardwalk.

I can't hear you.

Shit! It keeps cutting off.

Why say you're in Deauville?

Yes, why lie to your mother?

When I'm abroad, her heart races.

Once her pulse jumped to 196. Like Lance Armstrong.

- Minus his bike. - Of course.

Something smells good.

It definitely smells. Do we have far to go?

- Is that you? - Who else would it be?

Gwen dressed the cat as a fireman. And pooped on the rug.

Now Mama, Gwen didn't poop on the rug!

It must be the cat.

Cut off again!

It's sad to get old.

- What's your mother got? - You name it.

Just before we left, her glottis shrank.

Never heard of it.

So where's this hotel?

We're in it.

Isn't it darling? Like a dollhouse.

Next to the other one, it sucks.

Here.

Literally: "The nest of swallows in love for life."

That's us!

Please.

It's tiny, too.

That's a bed for two?

Thais consider married couples sleep in each other's arms.

We'll kill two birds with one stone:

adopt and take a second honeymoon.

Settle in. I'm next door. Meet in a half-hour for dinner.

I booked a traditional Thai restaurant.

Let go of me, right now!

I'm playing my part, like we said.

Don't act stupid, you'll regret it.

That guy freaks me out. Did you hear him?

If that Basque learns the truth, he'll have us shot.

I heard him.

Try not to screw up so much.

- When did I screw up? - My bag.

Every second. You haven't missed a trick.

I warn you: If I go home without Maily,

you don't get your money.

So get smart. If your garage matters.

- What's this water? - Close it. It's boiling hot!

For cooking noodles or what?

Asian refinement. Hot water. The cult of cleanliness.

Why a hot tub in a room?

It doesn't make you cleaner.

Not even a couch! How do we sleep tonight?

Me on the floor. You on the bed.

Fine with me. You smoke a pipe?

Smoke bother you?

No, it's just that...

Who'd have thought I'd be paired with a woman who smokes...

And that I'd be paired with a guy with mahogany hair!

I'm going down for a drink.

Keep off alcohol. You'll lose your socks.

This place is falling apart. The hotel is ancient!

Confuses Luis Mariano and Dario Moreno.

Big Oedipus complex.

Tax dodging tendencies...

A real traditional Thai restaurant. You take off your shoes.

They're right. Hygiene first.

I don't see the point,

but here goes...

Hope no monkeys pinch them, after those lizards...

This is nice.

Take a seat.

I get the idea.

I'll pull a muscle before dinner.

There's no legroom. How do they do it?

You should have left your long legs at the hotel, honey.

Welcome to Thailand. Bottoms up.

Go easy. It's very high proof.

It tastes like soap. What is it?

Rice wine with star anise.

It could serve as both toothpaste and cocktail.

I ordered a real Thai fisherman's meal.

My mouth is watering.

We love fish, don't we, honey?

I hope it's not lizard pastry.

You might find your shirts.

I'd love steak and fries, and a chair with legs.

The house specialty.

What do you think this is?

If I don't know I won't eat it.

A big Slug

We're not among savages. This is a refined country.

She's right. It's a sea slug in garlic,

marinated in nuoc mam and spices.

The Thai fisherman's favorite dish.

Swell...

Pass me your plate.

I prefer the French hunter's dish.

Just a little.

Well?

It's good.

You have to get used to

the rubbery texture of the skin,

which is thick.

Their slugs are so fresh, you feel like you're at sea.

Right. Out at sea.

I feel seasick.

Mother Marie-Souye gave me this questionnaire.

Now? No more questionnaires.

- Don't drink if you don't eat. - Eat what?

Without this and my favorable report,

you can't take the child.

Sure.

Let's begin.

Do you believe it's worth having the child learn Thai?

Indispensable.

What for? Honestly, teaching her Thai is totally pointless.

Her roots! It's her mother tongue.

They all speak English here. Badly, but they speak it.

There's a disagreement box. I check it?

Check it! You get used to the soapy taste.

Don't check it. We'll discuss it later.

You're tired from jet lag, honey.

I'm not tired. I'm against the child learning Chinese!

- Thai. - I'm against Thai, too.

- What'd I say? - Nothing but crap.

What's he doing?

The guy's a brute on top of it.

Sorry, sorry.

Noi!

- I'll pay for all the damage, Noi. - Never mind.

Are you homophobic?

No, but I'm against prostitution.

So am I. I applaud with two hands.

Sure he was prostituting?

It was obvious, honey. They both were.

It's a scourge here. Dr. Louis told you.

That boy left his village two weeks ago to find work.

I got him a kitchen job here. The owner knew my wife.

But he'd rather hustle.

He's 15.

The beauty from Cadiz has velvety eyes

The beauty from Cadiz offers love without disguise

Anyway, we had a marvelous dinner.

- Fabulous! - It's not over.

It's not?

Stuffed fish head with herring liver.

I really can't.

They're staring at me. I'd feel like a cannibal.

A Sunday dish.

It's Tuesday.

Say, if you know the owner,

ask her to turn that music off.

It's torture.

It sounds like

a cat that got stuck in a door.

She's butchering a great song. They wreck everything here.

That's enough, honey.

Was your wife French?

No,Thai

Her name was Ty-Pong. She was a very popular singer here.

She died five years ago.

That's her singing.

Now?

She's the cat.

That's her?

Too bad we don't get the words.

They're in French.

That's for sure, honey. Listen good...

You can make out the French.

He's right. I don't have an ear for music.

See a specialist.

I think I'll have some of these

stuffed fish heads.

Me, too.

How do you eat this?

It's a surprise. We don't know what's inside.

You can recognize the refrain.

It's got something.

We'll finish with an indiscreet question,

but it's the doctor asking.

Shoot, doc.

Monthly frequency of intercourse?

A loaded question.

That certainly is a very private matter.

Do we have to answer?

It's the $64,000 question.

And you must answer separately in writing.

A good way of detecting bogus couples.

Ah, clever.

Downright sneaky.

We have a problem.

Really?

What?

It's just a rough idea.

We don't keep track very carefully.

Yes, but the ratio is 1:3.

Meaning?

Your wife says 4

and you say 12.

Can you explain that?

Well, I'll be damned!

My mistake. Cesar's right.

Ah, for once!

I was thinking, does she have amnesia or what?

I gave a woman's answer.

He gave the number of times and me, climaxes.

There's your explanation.

Careful, honey. You're crushing people's shoes.

They're not shoes, they're flip-flops.

Respect is a rule of life in Asia.

But they shouldn't leave them lying around.

Good night.

Sorry about the restaurant brawl. I usually stay cool.

Bangkok gets to me.

Thank you for taking care of Maily.

It means a lot to us.

That's right. Gute nacht!

What got into you to speak German?

I did a workshop at Mercedes.

Those fish heads aren't going down.

Same here. But don't belch in my face.

Well...

we really ate...

What are you doing?

That's stupid. Don't sleep on the floor.

You'll kill your back.

Come on the bed with me, baby doll.

Know what baby doll says?

Tie it in a knot and bug off.

"Wife: motherly.

"Husband: many faults.

"Some qualities, I hope."

You haven't always been gay.

You're too much of a dish.

You're nuts. It burns like hell!

See if it's blistering.

No, it's not. I'll get the Biafine.

Calm down.

Lie down on the bed.

Lie on the bed. I'll put this on.

It's cold.

I'm going slowly so it penetrates.

That hurts.

Relax, or it'll never penetrate.

That feels so good.

"Wild sexual habits!"

I don't feel well.

Put more cream on.

Doctor, I feel sick.

- What now? - I'm sorry.

Something I ate...

Do you have an antiemetic, Dr. Louis?

Luish.

Dr. Luish. Eesh, as in quiche,

or as in leash! Is that so hard?

- Go to bed, it'll pass. - It's worse lying down.

I see fish heads laughing at me. I'm going to puke again.

I'll get some anti-acid tablets.

That all you have?

It's my wife's jacket.

Lizards ate my clothes, remember?

To think I have to wear a chick's threads!

What "chick"?

My wife. It's her jacket.

By the way,

know where I can get driving gloves? A gift for my mechanic.

Plus he's missing 2 fingers.

No idea.

You seem better. Don't you want to go back?

No! The heads are right here.

In your glottis? That sort of thing is often hereditary.

Think so? I have a stitch.

Hope it's not a fish bone piercing my lung.

It's pretty wild here.

It's the only all-night pharmacy.

Do they sell real drugs here?

Just asking, since they copy everything.

Do we both need to wait?

Those heads make me feel weak in the knees.

It's Alex.

My sister.

Now he's starting.

This place is hell!

I can't hear you. Let me step inside somewhere.

I'm just asking you to do your best with Kim.

I'm sweet as pie to her.

- How's Mama? - Just stick to our agreement.

You didn't answer. What about Mama?

She locked Gwen in the cupboard

and hid the key in the butter.

Good. At least she's having fun.

I'm sure not.

Don't imagine that I'm enjoying...

Where are you? What's that racket?

What's free?

Frenchie! Pierre Cardin!

I'm mistaken for someone else.

Who's talking to you?

I'm not Pierre Cardin There's some mistake