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1
00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,142
Two words.
2
00:00:13,242 --> 00:00:14,167
Sex.
3
00:00:14,803 --> 00:00:15,763
Swing.
4
00:00:16,114 --> 00:00:19,532
I wanted to find a way to say,
"Thank you."
5
00:00:21,991 --> 00:00:23,104
Are you currently sexually active?
6
00:00:23,204 --> 00:00:24,712
I can't talk to him about this stuff…
7
00:00:24,812 --> 00:00:25,668
Let's jump in.
8
00:00:25,768 --> 00:00:27,990
I mean, you know… I'm probably fine.
9
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:30,198
I mean, this guy was
a legitimate dating option.
10
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,537
Seriously, what are we doing here?
11
00:00:32,637 --> 00:00:34,856
I should've shut it down right then.
12
00:00:35,174 --> 00:00:36,055
What do you think?
13
00:00:36,155 --> 00:00:39,270
I just didn't wanna ruin
the perfect moment.
14
00:00:42,681 --> 00:00:44,555
His attempts to be romantic…
15
00:00:44,895 --> 00:00:46,006
...always ended up...
16
00:00:47,694 --> 00:00:48,600
...falling short.
17
00:00:51,155 --> 00:00:53,059
We all go a little crazy sometimes.
18
00:00:53,582 --> 00:00:57,427
It was like, "How to seduce a woman",
by Hannibal Lecter.
19
00:00:57,785 --> 00:00:58,649
Oh, my God!
20
00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:03,518
God! I loved golf.
21
00:01:04,502 --> 00:01:05,353
Wait, no!
22
00:01:21,006 --> 00:01:22,829
I'm just gonna leave this
on her dresser for her.
23
00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:30,693
Would you believe that...
24
00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:33,758
...wasn't actually the most
embarrassing part of this story?
25
00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:40,005
I met my fiance John,
26
00:01:40,105 --> 00:01:42,318
via the wonderful world of online dating.
27
00:01:44,152 --> 00:01:46,337
He was sweet, charming, and...
28
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,905
-...always made me laugh.
-Who's Dr Feelgood?
29
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:50,006
You are.
30
00:01:52,542 --> 00:01:55,266
But he just didn't have
the greatest sense of timing.
31
00:01:55,771 --> 00:01:56,614
Hey babe!
32
00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:04,848
John! What the hell?
33
00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:08,151
His attempts to be romantic,
always ended up...
34
00:02:08,433 --> 00:02:09,543
...falling short.
35
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:12,993
I… thought you'd think it was sexy.
36
00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:17,393
You know, spontaneous shower sex?
37
00:02:17,493 --> 00:02:20,898
But it's hard to stay mad at someone
who always had good intentions.
38
00:02:22,157 --> 00:02:26,083
Plus, his klutziness always gave me
plenty of things to talk about.
39
00:02:26,183 --> 00:02:27,860
I will say this about him.
40
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,624
-That man can pick a good wine.
-I know.
41
00:02:30,724 --> 00:02:32,277
It's one of the many things
I love about him.
42
00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:34,047
Nick is my best friend...
43
00:02:34,526 --> 00:02:35,961
...so I basically told him everything.
44
00:02:36,376 --> 00:02:38,906
I mean, everything he does,
he does with me in mind.
45
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,753
That's why I feel so bad
when I get frustrated when things...
46
00:02:41,853 --> 00:02:43,189
-Go to hell?
-Exactly.
47
00:02:43,518 --> 00:02:45,930
It's not his fault, he's just a klutz.
48
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:47,354
Ever since we got engaged,
49
00:02:47,454 --> 00:02:50,892
John turned our sex into a major event.
50
00:02:51,535 --> 00:02:53,378
-Is it still good?
-Yes!
51
00:02:55,753 --> 00:02:58,427
It's just nice to be normal, sometimes.
52
00:03:00,062 --> 00:03:01,857
I just wish he realized that,
53
00:03:01,957 --> 00:03:03,824
you know, it doesn't
always have to so big and…
54
00:03:03,924 --> 00:03:05,077
Give it a break!
55
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:07,492
You should be thrilled
to be with a guy...
56
00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:09,845
...who's willing to try new things!
57
00:03:09,945 --> 00:03:11,550
I'm willing to try new things.
58
00:03:12,488 --> 00:03:14,955
How about just a little,
you know, old school,
59
00:03:15,055 --> 00:03:16,049
by the book...
60
00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:17,828
...vintage sex?
61
00:03:18,313 --> 00:03:19,152
In a bed.
62
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:23,824
I was expecting the answer
to all my problems…
63
00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:27,202
Have you tried the sex swing thing yet?
64
00:03:27,302 --> 00:03:29,548
I forgot what a horrible listener was.
65
00:03:30,363 --> 00:03:31,239
No.
66
00:03:31,339 --> 00:03:32,393
That is tragic!
67
00:03:35,946 --> 00:03:36,818
It's that good?
68
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,316
It'll change your life.
69
00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:40,013
That's a big statement.
70
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,167
I was intrigued, but...
71
00:03:42,451 --> 00:03:44,716
...I just wanted to go back to the basics.
72
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,087
-Hey guys.
-Hey!
73
00:03:46,187 --> 00:03:47,150
Hey!
74
00:03:47,903 --> 00:03:49,126
-Hey babe.
-How are you?
75
00:03:49,915 --> 00:03:50,843
I'm all right.
76
00:03:52,244 --> 00:03:53,951
I really like Nick, but...
77
00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:55,774
...it always made me a little nervous...
78
00:03:55,874 --> 00:03:57,242
...when the two of them
would get together…
79
00:03:57,707 --> 00:03:59,119
So... what are you two up to?
80
00:03:59,418 --> 00:04:00,319
Oh, just some girl talk.
81
00:04:00,419 --> 00:04:02,829
Because I could always tell
what they were talking about…
82
00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:04,553
...our sex life.
83
00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:05,848
Did you get the mail?
84
00:04:06,256 --> 00:04:07,902
-Oh, no, I forgot. I'll go...
-No, no, no.
85
00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:09,314
I'll get it! I'm expecting a package.
86
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:10,573
-It's cool.
-Okay.
87
00:04:10,964 --> 00:04:12,601
-You guys catch up.
-Yeah.
88
00:04:15,753 --> 00:04:18,030
Shower curtain back up and operational?
89
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,541
That's what I was talking about…
90
00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:23,347
...I had zero privacy.
91
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:26,280
Let me give you a little slice
of incognito.
92
00:04:27,398 --> 00:04:28,925
A little, slice of what?
93
00:04:30,397 --> 00:04:31,886
The next time you guys…
94
00:04:33,676 --> 00:04:34,842
-...you know.
-Right.
95
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,339
I'd suggest just generic old bed stuff.
96
00:04:40,421 --> 00:04:41,333
Really?
97
00:04:41,993 --> 00:04:47,692
You know, I know my plans didn't always
work out exactly as I planned,
98
00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:48,793
but I thought...
99
00:04:49,196 --> 00:04:51,447
...at least Alicia appreciated the effort.
100
00:04:52,211 --> 00:04:54,627
I've been killing myself trying to be so…
101
00:04:54,852 --> 00:04:56,879
...cool and adventurous for her.
102
00:04:57,822 --> 00:04:58,727
For her?
103
00:04:59,468 --> 00:05:00,462
Yeah!
104
00:05:00,562 --> 00:05:02,556
I don't want her to get bored with me.
105
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,240
I mean look at her.
106
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:08,066
Do you have any idea how difficult
it is for guys to know...
107
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,272
...what women want in the bedroom?
108
00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:10,747
It's intimidating.
109
00:05:11,313 --> 00:05:13,253
I mean, between you and me.
110
00:05:13,745 --> 00:05:15,746
I definitely "out-punted" my coverage.
111
00:05:15,846 --> 00:05:16,906
If you know what I'm saying.
112
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:25,090
Yeah… I-I don't understand
your sports metaphors...
113
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,773
...but I think I smell
what you stepped in.
114
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,701
Yeah.
115
00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:30,746
Well, I just...
116
00:05:31,953 --> 00:05:33,989
...I just wanna make her happy, you know?
117
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,386
I just wanna do everything I can for her.
118
00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:40,086
You are the cutest!
119
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,461
I heard what was saying…
120
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,106
...but trust me, I was doing her a favor.
121
00:05:45,281 --> 00:05:46,116
Okay.
122
00:05:46,416 --> 00:05:47,970
Forget everything I said.
123
00:05:49,329 --> 00:05:50,258
Two words.
124
00:05:52,421 --> 00:05:53,355
Sex.
125
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:54,989
Swing.
126
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,011
-Really?
-Trust.
127
00:05:58,111 --> 00:05:59,781
Nick knew Alicia better than anyone.
128
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,428
So for me, it was like having
someone on the inside.
129
00:06:02,941 --> 00:06:04,169
John…
130
00:06:04,269 --> 00:06:05,402
He was like my wingman.
131
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,493
-Shower honey?
-Yeah, sorry.
132
00:06:07,593 --> 00:06:08,464
So we can go to dinner.
133
00:06:08,564 --> 00:06:09,675
I knew what would make her happy.
134
00:06:09,775 --> 00:06:12,836
And this time,
I was determined not to mess it up.
135
00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:14,987
What?
136
00:06:15,087 --> 00:06:17,888
-Are you ready to feel about this big?
-What do you mean?
137
00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:19,613
I just talked to him,
138
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,733
and learned that he does all
this crazy sex stuff for you!
139
00:06:24,393 --> 00:06:27,207
Because he's worried,
you'll lose interest in him.
140
00:06:27,594 --> 00:06:28,605
I felt terrible.
141
00:06:28,824 --> 00:06:31,658
Here, I had this great guy,
killing himself trying to please me,
142
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:32,948
and I bitched about it.
143
00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:34,962
How cute is that?
144
00:06:37,323 --> 00:06:40,431
Said something about
bunting his goalie or...
145
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:42,481
Look, he was trying to talk sports!
146
00:06:44,122 --> 00:06:46,091
I feel like such a bitch right now.
147
00:06:46,191 --> 00:06:48,147
You are such a bitch right now.
148
00:06:48,914 --> 00:06:51,120
You gotta show him something new
in the bedroom!
149
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:53,901
Make him feel like his efforts
don't go unnoticed.
150
00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:55,450
Like what?
151
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,155
I'll drop off a book for you.
152
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,250
I think you'll find it quite eye opening.
153
00:07:01,613 --> 00:07:03,967
I was willing to try anything...
154
00:07:04,207 --> 00:07:06,532
...to make sure John knew
I appreciated him.
155
00:07:06,632 --> 00:07:08,560
I just hope he doesn't plan
anything else crazy…
156
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,643
...before I can make it up to him.
157
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:18,567
It bugged me the entire rest
of the night.
158
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:20,556
I needed to try harder.
159
00:07:21,513 --> 00:07:25,923
So the next day I decided to plan
a little surprise for him instead.
160
00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:28,773
I got home early and wanted
to do something...
161
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:30,246
...totally unexpected.
162
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,369
But he beat me to it.
163
00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:38,856
I could not believe it.
164
00:07:39,644 --> 00:07:43,113
Clearly, Nick, had planted
a little idea in his head.
165
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,341
I had never seen anything
like that in my life...
166
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,907
...but I think what shocked me the most…
167
00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:53,339
...is that John put it together.
168
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:57,345
I mean, he wasn't exactly
a tool belt kind of guy.
169
00:07:57,779 --> 00:07:59,471
Okay… let's see here.
170
00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:02,377
God, it's like a horse's bridle.
171
00:08:03,264 --> 00:08:06,093
This was some serious
hardware he installed.
172
00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,500
And we have vaulted ceilings!
173
00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:10,380
Who built this? NASA?
174
00:08:12,338 --> 00:08:14,132
I don't have like, half this stuff!
175
00:08:14,878 --> 00:08:19,856
I would've paid a lot of money to see him
in action at the hardware store.
176
00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:21,818
Can I help you?
177
00:08:22,493 --> 00:08:23,602
Yeah…
178
00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:26,095
I'm looking for… you know,
something that like…
179
00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:27,995
...you know, kinda does this.
180
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:31,167
And then, goes into another thing…
181
00:08:31,856 --> 00:08:33,162
...kinda like this.
182
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,218
You know?
183
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:37,137
Like a load bearing, strength bracket?
184
00:08:37,822 --> 00:08:40,638
Like a, ball bearing, crankshaft… joint?
185
00:08:41,258 --> 00:08:43,790
You can't just go into the store
and be like...
186
00:08:44,586 --> 00:08:47,832
"...Hey. Excuse me.
Where's your sex swing installation kit?"
187
00:08:48,882 --> 00:08:49,907
Well, at least I couldn't.
188
00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:53,601
And-and your load is going
to be attached to the...
189
00:08:54,114 --> 00:08:55,418
...the ceiling, yeah.
190
00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:59,569
How… large a load are you,
looking to support?
191
00:09:00,421 --> 00:09:02,790
Like... 140?
192
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,253
Maybe? I mean...
193
00:09:06,302 --> 00:09:09,128
...she's definitely in sha...
It's in-in shape.
194
00:09:09,228 --> 00:09:11,123
Not she. That's ridiculous.
195
00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:13,025
Really John?
196
00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:14,668
One-forty?
197
00:09:15,528 --> 00:09:16,507
I don't think so.
198
00:09:17,503 --> 00:09:18,410
Well...
199
00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:20,762
...we got a couple of options here.
200
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,925
Depending on the…
201
00:09:23,365 --> 00:09:25,065
...nature of the device…
202
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:28,346
...within which, your…
203
00:09:29,231 --> 00:09:31,658
...load is gonna be suspended.
204
00:09:33,711 --> 00:09:34,744
It's for the bedroom.
205
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:41,045
Are you talking about a sex swing?
206
00:09:42,546 --> 00:09:45,268
Why didn't you just come out and say it?
207
00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,538
The poor guy went through so much trouble
to put this together.
208
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,944
And I wanted to find a way to say,
"Thank you."
209
00:09:58,584 --> 00:10:00,640
I used to take gymnastics
in high school...
210
00:10:01,497 --> 00:10:03,789
...so I didn't think it'd be a problem.
211
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:07,788
I knew wouldn't be home for a while,
212
00:10:07,888 --> 00:10:09,089
so I decided to run out.
213
00:10:09,189 --> 00:10:11,037
Pick up her favorite bottle of wine...
214
00:10:11,285 --> 00:10:13,847
...and have the whole mood set
by the time she got home.
215
00:10:14,077 --> 00:10:15,043
Hey, John!
216
00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:16,086
Oh, hey, what's up, Nick?
217
00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,099
-What are you up to?
-Is Alicia home?
218
00:10:18,199 --> 00:10:19,703
I brought her… a book.
219
00:10:20,596 --> 00:10:22,278
I don't think so actually.
I can give it to her.
220
00:10:22,378 --> 00:10:24,017
-Oh, no, that's okay.
-Oh, I don't mind.
221
00:10:25,962 --> 00:10:27,995
Well, it's kind of a surprise.
222
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,120
So… can I just, leave it inside?
223
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,120
Sure man, whatever.
224
00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:37,910
I'm just gonna leave this
her dresser for her.
225
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:38,848
Okay.
226
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:49,235
I swear that thing became like
a big, suspended, full body,
227
00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:50,782
Chinese finger trap!
228
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,159
-Oh, girl!
-Get out!
229
00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:01,161
John!
230
00:11:01,765 --> 00:11:02,670
Shut up!
231
00:11:03,349 --> 00:11:04,506
What, what, what?
232
00:11:05,113 --> 00:11:06,619
I'm not an expert on swings,
233
00:11:06,719 --> 00:11:08,680
but I don't think she was in it right.
234
00:11:09,677 --> 00:11:11,534
I told you it was gonna change your life.
235
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:12,551
Shut up!
236
00:11:24,132 --> 00:11:25,282
Don't move, okay?
237
00:11:25,706 --> 00:11:26,678
Get out!
238
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:28,886
Get out! Come on!
239
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:34,162
Hi…
240
00:11:34,779 --> 00:11:36,207
-Yeah, come on.
-Just...
241
00:11:36,307 --> 00:11:37,299
Okay.
242
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:41,113
I'm afraid to ask, but did you
even read the instructions?
243
00:11:42,057 --> 00:11:43,062
-Yeah, exactly.
-You know what?
244
00:11:43,162 --> 00:11:45,563
I'm gonna be in the bath… getting drunk.
245
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:50,070
It took about a month
before I felt normal.
246
00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:51,983
John and I...
247
00:11:52,083 --> 00:11:54,205
We decided that having hot sex...
248
00:11:54,305 --> 00:11:56,520
...didn't necessarily mean tearing
the house down.
249
00:11:57,112 --> 00:11:58,184
And it turns out…
250
00:11:58,907 --> 00:11:59,911
...Nick was right.
251
00:12:00,294 --> 00:12:03,507
That sex swing really
did change our lives forever.
252
00:12:04,713 --> 00:12:06,961
Once we had it professionally installed.
253
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:15,012
There's an old saying,
254
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:19,340
something about golf being a great way
to spoil a perfectly good walk.
255
00:12:20,358 --> 00:12:23,028
Well, trust me, it can screw up
a lot more than that.
256
00:12:24,686 --> 00:12:25,521
Fore!
257
00:12:27,338 --> 00:12:28,688
Oh, don't worry, he didn't die...
258
00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:30,935
...but at the time I kinda wish I had.
259
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:33,976
Pregnant?
260
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,189
How?
261
00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:37,003
You see when a man...
262
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,528
-...and a woman love each other...
-No.
263
00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:42,902
How does a 42-year-old gynecologist...
264
00:12:43,002 --> 00:12:44,959
...suddenly become pregnant?
265
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:51,033
Shockingly, she did not include me
in her family planning decisions.
266
00:12:51,999 --> 00:12:54,496
Doctor Blake is picking up her overflow.
267
00:12:54,596 --> 00:12:56,687
He's quite qualified, I can assure you.
268
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,112
She is now a he?
269
00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:02,937
I'm not normally that cranky,
270
00:13:03,037 --> 00:13:04,989
but the only gynecologist
I'd ever seen...
271
00:13:05,089 --> 00:13:07,732
...was going to be out
for three months maternity leave.
272
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:11,596
I didn't want some strange guy
seeing me naked,
273
00:13:11,696 --> 00:13:14,217
feeling me up, and then slapping me
with a bill for it.
274
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:19,961
Tessa Williams?
275
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:22,950
Shut up.
276
00:13:23,441 --> 00:13:24,869
-Excuse me?
-I'm…
277
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,902
Sorry. Never mind.
278
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,445
But the second Dr Blake walked in…
279
00:13:29,672 --> 00:13:32,261
...I thought, well,
"They did both go to med school."
280
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,577
Well, hello…
281
00:13:33,902 --> 00:13:34,794
...Dr Blake.
282
00:13:35,276 --> 00:13:36,177
Tessa.
283
00:13:36,277 --> 00:13:38,660
Just shaking his hand made me warm…
284
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:40,640
...kind of all over.
285
00:13:40,949 --> 00:13:43,762
So, 32, no problematic history.
286
00:13:43,862 --> 00:13:45,025
Are you currently sexually active?
287
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:46,733
I know.
288
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:48,099
It's a standard question...
289
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,854
...but it just seemed so personal,
coming from him.
290
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,580
Like, right now?
291
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,822
Well, not at this very second...
292
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:56,079
...but in general.
293
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:57,895
Any sexual partners? Boyfriend?
294
00:13:58,416 --> 00:14:00,059
No sexual partners.
295
00:14:00,159 --> 00:14:01,092
I'm thinking…
296
00:14:01,192 --> 00:14:02,691
...I can't talk to him about this stuff…
297
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,512
...I mean, this guy,
was a legitimate dating option.
298
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:07,274
Let's jump in.
299
00:14:12,478 --> 00:14:13,431
I mean, you know…
300
00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,824
I'm... I'm probably fine.
301
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,813
I should probably just postpone this
until Dr Gregory has her baby.
302
00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,130
I'd really recommend
we get through this today.
303
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:24,698
You're already past overdue
on your annual.
304
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:25,975
So my options were...
305
00:14:26,556 --> 00:14:28,142
...walk out and never see him again…
306
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:29,811
...or smile and spread them.
307
00:14:30,726 --> 00:14:31,596
Okay.
308
00:14:34,059 --> 00:14:35,051
Okay.
309
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,253
If you can scoot down slightly?
310
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:41,580
A little more.
311
00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:44,408
There I was trying
to get comfortable with it all.
312
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,618
And I started to wonder
if male gynecologists...
313
00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:49,803
...have a med-school trained
on-off button.
314
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,595
A little more this time.
315
00:14:54,572 --> 00:14:55,412
One more.
316
00:14:55,512 --> 00:14:56,375
I mean…
317
00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:59,149
...does a degree automatically
turn females into objects?
318
00:14:59,249 --> 00:15:01,299
I don't mean sexual objects.
319
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,261
I mean just...
320
00:15:02,874 --> 00:15:04,304
...objects… objects.
321
00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:05,992
Perfect.
322
00:15:06,237 --> 00:15:07,404
Alright, okay.
323
00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:11,225
I sort of took it as my duty
to test his professional boundaries…
324
00:15:11,581 --> 00:15:12,715
...you know, for science!
325
00:15:13,859 --> 00:15:18,296
Women must be falling all over themselves
to be examined by you.
326
00:15:19,147 --> 00:15:21,569
Well, with the hours I put in here,
327
00:15:21,669 --> 00:15:24,354
the only women I ever meet
are either contagious...
328
00:15:25,226 --> 00:15:26,886
...or cadavers.
329
00:15:28,611 --> 00:15:30,914
A single, handsome doctor
with a sense of humor?
330
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:32,302
Yes please.
331
00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:34,569
Everything looks good.
332
00:15:34,929 --> 00:15:38,534
The test results should be back,
next week.
333
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,539
And he just walked out,
334
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:43,096
like what had just happened
was completely normal for him.
335
00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:47,456
And yes, I realize that it was
completely normal for him.
336
00:15:47,956 --> 00:15:48,935
But it wasn't for me.
337
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:51,260
He was so cute.
338
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,301
How do I approach him now?
339
00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:56,487
He was perfect.
340
00:15:56,826 --> 00:15:58,727
Later that week,
my friend Blair was over...
341
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:03,737
...and I was recanting the handsome doctor
slash probably love-of-my-life story.
342
00:16:04,143 --> 00:16:06,440
All you have to do is just run
into him again.
343
00:16:06,789 --> 00:16:10,076
-Someplace more… casual than...
-My crotch?
344
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:11,297
Exactly.
345
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,224
I loved seeing Tessa excited
about someone...
346
00:16:14,745 --> 00:16:16,378
It'd been a very long time.
347
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:18,894
Maybe that's why she was
so bad at the whole game.
348
00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:20,872
She was pretty awful.
349
00:16:23,459 --> 00:16:26,699
Freshly showered,
new underwear, red lipstick…
350
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,542
...I was pretty much as irresistible
as I'd ever get.
351
00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:34,020
You can file those away Mrs Johnston.
352
00:16:34,746 --> 00:16:35,662
Doctor Blake!
353
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:36,953
Tessa.
354
00:16:37,466 --> 00:16:39,797
Sorry, your test results won't be in for…
355
00:16:39,897 --> 00:16:40,824
...another week or so.
356
00:16:41,693 --> 00:16:42,907
I wasn't here for that.
357
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:45,291
Actually I think something
might be wrong...
358
00:16:45,824 --> 00:16:46,962
...with my stomach.
359
00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,748
I really should've thought it through
in the car.
360
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,323
Well, that's not really my area.
361
00:16:52,975 --> 00:16:55,760
I'd feel so much more comfortable
if you took a look at it.
362
00:16:56,491 --> 00:16:57,639
You can call me desperate...
363
00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:00,725
...but I like to think
of it as… resourceful.
364
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:03,579
So, how're things?
365
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,282
Fine.
366
00:17:06,139 --> 00:17:07,410
I'm not hearing anything.
367
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:08,929
Have you had any problems
with your bowels?
368
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:09,868
No!
369
00:17:10,924 --> 00:17:12,659
I mean, no.
370
00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:16,111
I needed to shift this
conversation away from this area…
371
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,705
...and get it more into this area.
372
00:17:18,995 --> 00:17:22,765
So… do you have anywhere
you can go to relax?
373
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,161
I knew exactly where this was going.
374
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:28,857
Well I play the occasional round
of golf on a Saturday.
375
00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:30,305
I love golf!
376
00:17:30,405 --> 00:17:32,675
What is it about American women
and doctors?
377
00:17:32,775 --> 00:17:36,516
We work long hours indoors,
so we always look ill, we're...
378
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:38,819
...mostly boring,
379
00:17:38,919 --> 00:17:40,904
any decent stock broker makes more money,
380
00:17:41,004 --> 00:17:43,570
and we're ethically prohibited
from dating patients.
381
00:17:43,965 --> 00:17:45,531
I genuinely don't understand it.
382
00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:48,286
But I thought... what the hell?
383
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,735
It's only harmless flirtations, so…
384
00:17:52,718 --> 00:17:54,110
Do you know the fairway club?
385
00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:56,544
I practically live there!
386
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,884
Suddenly, the most boring sport on Earth…
387
00:17:58,984 --> 00:18:00,844
...became a total turn on.
388
00:18:00,944 --> 00:18:01,930
Wow! Small world.
389
00:18:02,561 --> 00:18:03,808
Perhaps I'll run into you some time.
390
00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:05,540
I remember thinking,
391
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,735
"She obviously doesn't play golf,
so it'll never happen."
392
00:18:08,835 --> 00:18:14,507
So I'm going to recommend you
visit a gastroenterologist.
393
00:18:15,203 --> 00:18:16,712
And… voila.
394
00:18:18,394 --> 00:18:19,324
Thank you.
395
00:18:19,424 --> 00:18:21,465
Maybe we'll see each other out
on the field sometime.
396
00:18:22,877 --> 00:18:24,572
The… golf...
397
00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:26,320
Course?
398
00:18:27,842 --> 00:18:28,787
Sounds great!
399
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:29,731
I'd like that.
400
00:18:33,842 --> 00:18:37,322
I didn't realize how desperate you were
until I saw you dressed like that.
401
00:18:38,112 --> 00:18:40,657
So, I asked Blair to join me
for a round of golf.
402
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:42,064
I'm... I'm not...
403
00:18:42,636 --> 00:18:43,595
...I'm not desperate!
404
00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:45,636
-I'm just...
-A stalker?
405
00:18:45,736 --> 00:18:47,111
It is a coincidental meeting.
406
00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:50,877
At a country club you don't belong to.
407
00:18:51,117 --> 00:18:54,932
Whatever happened to unconditional
"ignore the technicalities" friendship?
408
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:56,054
Hey!
409
00:18:56,615 --> 00:18:57,691
Don't get all...
410
00:18:58,473 --> 00:18:59,893
...logic-y on me.
411
00:19:08,654 --> 00:19:09,754
Oh, my! Oh, my!
412
00:19:10,397 --> 00:19:11,826
A stalker and a spaz...
413
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:13,010
...great combo.
414
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,850
-I'm so... I'm so…
-excuse me!
415
00:19:15,246 --> 00:19:16,135
Sorry.
416
00:19:17,205 --> 00:19:18,121
Tessa?
417
00:19:19,176 --> 00:19:20,242
Dr Blake!
418
00:19:20,888 --> 00:19:21,759
Wow!
419
00:19:22,636 --> 00:19:24,016
We ran into each other!
420
00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:26,836
Would you like to join us?
421
00:19:26,936 --> 00:19:28,259
We were just about
to head out on a round.
422
00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:30,483
Really? We were too!
423
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,818
Well, why don't we just make it
a foursome then?
424
00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:36,128
This is Sam.
We went to med school together.
425
00:19:36,228 --> 00:19:39,979
And just like that, I was having
a foursome date with my doctor.
426
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,742
And this is probably
a good time to tell you...
427
00:19:41,842 --> 00:19:43,568
...that I've only mini-golfed before.
428
00:19:44,194 --> 00:19:45,589
And there were casualties.
429
00:19:46,002 --> 00:19:47,639
Just need to stretch a little. Yeah…
430
00:19:48,726 --> 00:19:50,050
It's all about the stretch.
431
00:19:50,268 --> 00:19:51,238
As a doctor,
432
00:19:51,338 --> 00:19:54,582
I have an ethical responsibility
to prevent injuries before they occur.
433
00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:55,979
And Tessa...
434
00:19:57,634 --> 00:19:59,452
...was a bloodbath waiting to happen.
435
00:19:59,552 --> 00:20:00,367
You know, I'm beginning to think...
436
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,038
...that you're not actually
a member of the golf club.
437
00:20:02,604 --> 00:20:07,849
That you maybe… bumped into me
here for an ulterior motive?
438
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:11,917
I was totally busted.
439
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:14,945
I'm told it's the accent.
440
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,943
American women love the accent.
441
00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:21,025
I don't understand why they think we Brits
sound so charming and intelligent...
442
00:20:21,606 --> 00:20:23,690
...I finished 87th in my class...
443
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:25,848
...out of 103 students.
444
00:20:29,249 --> 00:20:31,935
I needed to step in and save her ass.
445
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:34,838
We're gonna let you help my friend…
446
00:20:35,547 --> 00:20:38,160
Sam and I are going to the 19th hole.
447
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:39,890
Yeah!
448
00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:41,589
That's the clubhouse bar.
449
00:20:41,914 --> 00:20:44,192
Tessa got the looks,
and I've got the game.
450
00:20:44,704 --> 00:20:45,967
We've always been a pretty good duo.
451
00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:48,675
Am I holding the racquet right?
452
00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:54,088
So you wanna grip just
slightly higher on the club.
453
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,130
How does that feel?
454
00:20:57,448 --> 00:20:58,377
Amazing.
455
00:20:59,437 --> 00:21:00,451
You know I...
456
00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:02,567
...I have to admit, doctor Blake.
457
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:05,120
I really love your accent.
458
00:21:06,256 --> 00:21:07,495
See? I told you!
459
00:21:08,254 --> 00:21:09,232
I love yours, too.
460
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,962
So… do you wanna grab dinner sometime?
461
00:21:15,757 --> 00:21:18,111
-I…
-Even if it's at the hospital cafeteria?
462
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,245
I can't.
463
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,435
I knew it.
464
00:21:23,106 --> 00:21:24,052
Oh, my god…
465
00:21:25,578 --> 00:21:26,497
...you're married.
466
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,316
No! It's not that, it's…
467
00:21:29,932 --> 00:21:31,611
...it's just that it's…
468
00:21:33,268 --> 00:21:34,325
...it's unethical.
469
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:36,768
Frigging ethics!
470
00:21:36,868 --> 00:21:38,618
I can't date a patient.
471
00:21:39,482 --> 00:21:40,343
What?
472
00:21:40,434 --> 00:21:42,621
You mean like... like ever?
473
00:21:43,042 --> 00:21:43,939
Sorry.
474
00:21:44,039 --> 00:21:45,265
I could lose my license.
475
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:49,325
The Hippocratic oath is like
2500 years old!
476
00:21:49,739 --> 00:21:51,129
It's not like I just made it up!
477
00:21:52,332 --> 00:21:53,390
But hey, if...
478
00:21:54,450 --> 00:21:56,335
...we weren't seeing each other,
professionally…
479
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,030
...I would in a second.
480
00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,289
Dear Dr Blake...
481
00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:06,862
...I would like to send
my sincerest thanks...
482
00:22:06,962 --> 00:22:09,828
...for all the fine medical work
you've done for me.
483
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:13,262
But the time has come
to consider other medical options.
484
00:22:14,559 --> 00:22:16,257
Respectfully, Tessa.
485
00:22:16,905 --> 00:22:20,146
Take that, conflict of interest!
486
00:22:20,246 --> 00:22:23,830
It was true watching put on
the moves on this Dr Blake guy...
487
00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:27,047
...was more entertaining than the
entire fourth season of Downton Abbey.
488
00:22:27,685 --> 00:22:29,849
Plus, there's a much better
possibility for sex...
489
00:22:30,485 --> 00:22:31,876
...but I was still worried about her.
490
00:22:32,416 --> 00:22:35,155
It seems like a lot of work
for a purely theoretical date.
491
00:22:35,538 --> 00:22:36,525
It's not theoretical.
492
00:22:37,619 --> 00:22:38,871
I think he might be "the one."
493
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:40,984
Oh, Lord.
494
00:22:42,682 --> 00:22:45,520
The next day, I called his office
to notify him, but he wasn't in…
495
00:22:46,211 --> 00:22:48,259
...I had a pretty good idea
of where I'd find him.
496
00:22:51,050 --> 00:22:52,201
Stop, stop, stop.
497
00:22:52,461 --> 00:22:53,324
Dr Blake!
498
00:22:53,424 --> 00:22:54,414
Hey!
499
00:22:55,456 --> 00:22:56,750
-Dr Blake.
-Tessa.
500
00:22:58,137 --> 00:22:59,323
Fancy seeing you here.
501
00:23:00,072 --> 00:23:03,218
Most patients give up quick when
they realize nothing's gonna happen,
502
00:23:03,318 --> 00:23:05,273
but she was persistent.
503
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:06,567
Look, Dr Blake.
504
00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:07,998
I need to talk to you.
505
00:23:08,466 --> 00:23:11,876
We had a good run as
doctor and patient, but…
506
00:23:12,664 --> 00:23:14,843
...I think I'm gonna take
my lady parts elsewhere.
507
00:23:15,284 --> 00:23:16,451
I'm sorry?
508
00:23:18,384 --> 00:23:19,889
You're fired, doc.
509
00:23:25,125 --> 00:23:26,525
Not sure what I'm supposed
to do with this.
510
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:28,455
You're no longer my doctor.
511
00:23:28,937 --> 00:23:29,783
I got that.
512
00:23:30,396 --> 00:23:32,517
So no more ethical dilemma.
513
00:23:32,796 --> 00:23:34,246
You fired me…
514
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:36,009
...to date me?
515
00:23:37,395 --> 00:23:39,596
For a doctor he was a little slow.
516
00:23:39,696 --> 00:23:42,462
I know you're busy,
and-and I have a career too…
517
00:23:42,562 --> 00:23:44,808
but… I don't really get
a lot of spare time either...
518
00:23:44,908 --> 00:23:46,452
...and-and the time that I do have,
519
00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:48,876
I think I want to spend with...
520
00:23:52,314 --> 00:23:53,322
I was fired.
521
00:23:55,164 --> 00:23:56,957
I was well within the ethical guidelines.
522
00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:01,240
Sangria?
523
00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:02,577
Yeah.
524
00:24:05,963 --> 00:24:07,200
God, I loved golf.
525
00:24:07,659 --> 00:24:09,854
So the key is... loose...
526
00:24:11,303 --> 00:24:12,204
...but firm.
527
00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:13,635
Gotcha.
528
00:24:13,735 --> 00:24:14,725
Grip the club…
529
00:24:15,145 --> 00:24:16,223
...at the bottom of the shaft…
530
00:24:17,684 --> 00:24:18,975
Okay, this could take all day.
531
00:24:19,286 --> 00:24:21,676
-Do you wanna go get some brunch?
-Yeah.
532
00:24:21,776 --> 00:24:23,701
I've been Tessa's wing-woman
long enough...
533
00:24:23,801 --> 00:24:25,484
...to know when to fly off on my own.
534
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,751
Take all the time you need.
535
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:29,079
And hey…
536
00:24:29,404 --> 00:24:30,993
...I had a doctor to work on too.
537
00:24:31,648 --> 00:24:34,015
Does this count as… our first date?
538
00:24:37,856 --> 00:24:38,740
What is it?
539
00:24:39,602 --> 00:24:41,401
Terrible timing is all.
540
00:24:42,873 --> 00:24:44,486
And here it comes…
541
00:24:44,586 --> 00:24:46,531
What? Is-is there like a...
542
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,976
...a statute of limitations that says
you have to wait a month...
543
00:24:50,327 --> 00:24:52,080
...after you get fired to date
a patient or something?
544
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:55,066
It's just that my stint here is… done.
545
00:24:55,166 --> 00:24:57,180
-I'm heading back to Texas.
-What?
546
00:24:57,503 --> 00:24:58,434
Texas?
547
00:24:58,695 --> 00:25:02,260
That white, pasty skin would
last 15 minutes in Texas.
548
00:25:02,441 --> 00:25:04,093
It was a four-month program...
549
00:25:04,855 --> 00:25:06,214
...and as of yesterday...
550
00:25:06,976 --> 00:25:07,924
...it's done.
551
00:25:08,024 --> 00:25:08,971
When do you leave?
552
00:25:09,323 --> 00:25:10,264
Tonight.
553
00:25:11,447 --> 00:25:12,417
Oh, come on!
554
00:25:13,794 --> 00:25:15,324
There was only one thing left to do…
555
00:25:22,281 --> 00:25:24,046
We should go somewhere
other than the fairway.
556
00:25:31,497 --> 00:25:32,389
Tessa.
557
00:25:46,812 --> 00:25:50,799
The fresh air, the warm sun on our
kind-of partially naked bodies,
558
00:25:50,899 --> 00:25:54,284
the complete panic that we might
never see each other again…
559
00:25:54,384 --> 00:25:58,389
...it was sexy and exciting
and spontaneous.
560
00:26:00,604 --> 00:26:01,574
Fore!
561
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,149
But…
562
00:26:06,534 --> 00:26:07,671
Doctor... Dr Blake?
563
00:26:07,771 --> 00:26:09,115
At first I thought,
564
00:26:09,215 --> 00:26:11,717
maybe it was little too much
for the good doctor to handle?
565
00:26:11,817 --> 00:26:12,851
D-Dr Blake?
566
00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:13,846
Excuse me?
567
00:26:16,673 --> 00:26:19,901
Did you see a maxi-fly…
3 come around here?
568
00:26:22,970 --> 00:26:23,857
There it is.
569
00:26:29,161 --> 00:26:30,023
Do...
570
00:26:30,555 --> 00:26:31,573
...do you need a doctor?
571
00:26:32,031 --> 00:26:32,884
No.
572
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,544
I got one.
573
00:26:36,270 --> 00:26:40,081
So, he had a slight concussion
and missed his flight…
574
00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:42,502
...I'd like to say he changed
his mind and stayed with me.
575
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:43,549
But he didn't.
576
00:26:43,649 --> 00:26:45,285
We did the long distance thing
at the start.
577
00:26:45,657 --> 00:26:47,269
Then Tessa joined me in Texas.
578
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,206
We got married on a golf course.
579
00:26:49,306 --> 00:26:51,688
And a year later, we celebrated
Blair and Sam's wedding.
580
00:26:52,307 --> 00:26:53,335
I love golf.
581
00:27:04,073 --> 00:27:06,125
I've always been a big time skeptic…
582
00:27:07,309 --> 00:27:09,055
...I grew up believing ghosts...
583
00:27:09,155 --> 00:27:11,171
...were just something
people just made up....
584
00:27:11,271 --> 00:27:12,232
Oh, my God!
585
00:27:12,332 --> 00:27:13,846
…until I experienced it for myself.
586
00:27:23,011 --> 00:27:25,105
So… you guys broke up?
587
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:29,137
Well… I don't know if it
constitutes as a breakup.
588
00:27:29,744 --> 00:27:31,441
We were only dating for like three weeks.
589
00:27:31,541 --> 00:27:35,473
I've known my best friend,
Carrie, my entire life.
590
00:27:35,573 --> 00:27:36,741
Okay what was it this time?
591
00:27:37,166 --> 00:27:40,061
You didn't like the way he
pronounced the "T" in "exactly?"
592
00:27:40,161 --> 00:27:43,537
He preferred spicy brown mustard
over the original? What?
593
00:27:44,198 --> 00:27:46,701
She's the only person
that can call me out on my BS.
594
00:27:46,801 --> 00:27:50,546
I just felt like we didn't have
very many similar interests.
595
00:27:50,646 --> 00:27:53,729
You met in a Dental Assistant
Kickball League.
596
00:27:53,917 --> 00:27:56,026
What other similar interests do you need?
597
00:27:56,126 --> 00:27:57,014
Like football.
598
00:27:57,114 --> 00:27:59,462
He was a huge fan
and I knew nothing about it.
599
00:28:00,019 --> 00:28:02,085
So? He could have taught you.
600
00:28:02,829 --> 00:28:03,821
What am I supposed to do?
601
00:28:03,921 --> 00:28:06,577
Just pretend to like something
because the guy I'm dating does?
602
00:28:07,190 --> 00:28:08,396
Yes!
603
00:28:08,718 --> 00:28:12,341
Do you think I go camping with Troy
because I like it?
604
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:15,413
Do you think my bare
ass enjoys squatting,
605
00:28:15,513 --> 00:28:17,144
praying there's no poison ivy,
606
00:28:17,244 --> 00:28:21,522
while being on constant alert for cannibal
Hillbillies while doing my business?
607
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,474
I pooped in a hole!
608
00:28:23,805 --> 00:28:26,169
Carrie had been married for 2 years,
609
00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:29,574
and was on my case to find...
610
00:28:30,154 --> 00:28:31,178
..."the one."
611
00:28:31,523 --> 00:28:32,785
It's what we all do...
612
00:28:33,098 --> 00:28:36,119
...pretend to love the dumb stuff
that our men are into.
613
00:28:36,219 --> 00:28:37,291
And they do it for us.
614
00:28:38,434 --> 00:28:41,933
I can promise you Troy would
rather wax his testicles...
615
00:28:42,033 --> 00:28:44,159
...than go to another
ballroom dancing class.
616
00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:45,692
But guess where we'll be tomorrow?
617
00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:48,538
Learning the Waltz, that's where.
618
00:28:49,576 --> 00:28:50,452
That was true.
619
00:28:50,607 --> 00:28:56,361
I had a tendency to run away when things
got too serious in relationships.
620
00:28:56,778 --> 00:29:00,118
But, I was finally at that
point in my life where I was…
621
00:29:00,857 --> 00:29:01,835
...looking for love.
622
00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:04,697
What?
623
00:29:05,141 --> 00:29:07,184
I'm just picturing you
squatting over a hole...
624
00:29:07,284 --> 00:29:09,076
-...cursing at Troy...
-Yeah.
625
00:29:09,176 --> 00:29:12,857
...looking out for the Texas
machete massacre guy.
626
00:29:13,685 --> 00:29:15,868
Sorry, it's actually chainsaw massacre.
627
00:29:16,408 --> 00:29:18,720
I think it's rude when people interrupt.
628
00:29:19,236 --> 00:29:20,112
But…
629
00:29:20,533 --> 00:29:22,102
when I looked up, I was like…
630
00:29:23,788 --> 00:29:24,897
...interrupt away!
631
00:29:25,742 --> 00:29:27,053
Sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop.
632
00:29:27,153 --> 00:29:30,499
I don't usually go for
the goth types, but…
633
00:29:30,821 --> 00:29:33,287
...there was just
something about this guy.
634
00:29:33,452 --> 00:29:37,635
I mean, obviously I knew
it was Texas chainsaw massacre.
635
00:29:37,735 --> 00:29:42,370
I was just saying machete 'cause
it's a much more… effective weapon.
636
00:29:42,470 --> 00:29:43,664
You know… it's quieter…
637
00:29:43,764 --> 00:29:45,816
...you can sneak up on the co-eds better.
638
00:29:46,226 --> 00:29:47,219
Fair point.
639
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:49,448
But come on, don't you think there's
something like extra intimidating...
640
00:29:49,548 --> 00:29:50,564
...about the idea of getting killed...
641
00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:53,931
...by this huge hulking
gas-powered power tool?
642
00:29:55,207 --> 00:29:56,122
Totally.
643
00:29:56,222 --> 00:29:59,345
It was the most disturbing form
of flirting...
644
00:29:59,445 --> 00:30:01,319
...I had ever been a part of.
645
00:30:01,620 --> 00:30:02,706
So you like horror films?
646
00:30:03,451 --> 00:30:06,247
Lori, loves horror!
647
00:30:07,043 --> 00:30:08,019
Poop in the hole, Lori.
648
00:30:08,119 --> 00:30:09,280
Just so you know…
649
00:30:09,675 --> 00:30:12,595
...I hated horror movies.
650
00:30:12,695 --> 00:30:14,532
I love movies of…
651
00:30:15,593 --> 00:30:16,944
...the horror variety.
652
00:30:17,948 --> 00:30:20,098
If I'd only known then.
653
00:30:20,198 --> 00:30:22,071
Cool. Can I... get you another drink?
654
00:30:22,685 --> 00:30:24,243
Actually my friend and I are...
655
00:30:28,222 --> 00:30:29,218
Sure.
656
00:30:29,721 --> 00:30:30,661
I couldn't believe my luck!
657
00:30:31,041 --> 00:30:33,620
The most beautiful girl
who had ever spoken to me,
658
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,323
and she was into horror films.
659
00:30:35,699 --> 00:30:37,289
No way! You have seen Ghost Omen?
660
00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:39,103
Of course I have!
661
00:30:39,351 --> 00:30:40,242
No.
662
00:30:40,342 --> 00:30:41,212
I hadn't.
663
00:30:41,312 --> 00:30:42,117
And you liked it?
664
00:30:42,217 --> 00:30:45,477
Okay, I'm not gonna go as far as to say
it was my favorite movie that year,
665
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:47,412
because that one movie was released.
666
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:48,623
You know, the one with the kid?
667
00:30:49,009 --> 00:30:50,407
-Pre-school Hell?
-Yes.
668
00:30:50,507 --> 00:30:51,602
-Yes.
-Thank you.
669
00:30:51,702 --> 00:30:53,651
Yes! Pre-school Hell.
670
00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:55,590
Faking it was easy.
671
00:30:55,869 --> 00:30:59,352
There's just a handful
of horror cliches to pick from.
672
00:31:00,451 --> 00:31:01,494
Everyone is an idiot...
673
00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:05,506
...the little kid is possessed,
and sex will get you killed.
674
00:31:05,968 --> 00:31:07,589
Can I take you on a date this week?
675
00:31:08,911 --> 00:31:11,384
I think… that would be great.
676
00:31:11,857 --> 00:31:13,230
I figured, "Hey."
677
00:31:13,745 --> 00:31:15,098
"What's the harm in playing along?"
678
00:31:15,587 --> 00:31:17,584
Once we spent time together,
679
00:31:17,684 --> 00:31:19,222
he'd get to know the real me.
680
00:31:23,764 --> 00:31:27,043
So you hate iced coffee
because you drink it too fast.
681
00:31:27,703 --> 00:31:29,808
Well, I'm glad we got that out
in the open right away.
682
00:31:30,074 --> 00:31:32,140
Now, we have no secrets moving forward.
683
00:31:33,046 --> 00:31:34,040
Exactly!
684
00:31:34,708 --> 00:31:35,831
So tell me about your family.
685
00:31:36,109 --> 00:31:37,465
-Siblings?
-Two.
686
00:31:37,683 --> 00:31:38,731
Two.
687
00:31:39,010 --> 00:31:41,486
Jason made me feel really comfortable.
688
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,558
It was a nice change.
689
00:31:43,854 --> 00:31:46,058
She's one of those people
that makes you feel like there's...
690
00:31:46,341 --> 00:31:47,806
...no one else in the room.
691
00:31:48,667 --> 00:31:51,631
We talked for so long, that we,
completely lost track of time.
692
00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:53,382
Oh, shoot! We better go!
693
00:31:53,886 --> 00:31:55,993
We… still have like an hour's drive
to get to the film.
694
00:31:56,388 --> 00:31:57,772
An hour? Where are we going?
695
00:31:58,165 --> 00:31:59,058
You'll see.
696
00:31:59,158 --> 00:32:00,349
Funny thing was…
697
00:32:00,807 --> 00:32:02,723
...I wasn't even a movie fan.
698
00:32:02,823 --> 00:32:05,018
I guess… I was just trying to...
699
00:32:05,454 --> 00:32:07,786
...as Carrie would say,
"Poop in the hole."
700
00:32:17,064 --> 00:32:19,332
There was only one thing in the world...
701
00:32:19,432 --> 00:32:22,258
...I hated more than horror movies…
702
00:32:22,895 --> 00:32:23,800
...clowns.
703
00:32:25,536 --> 00:32:26,906
Oh, look at all the blood!
704
00:32:27,811 --> 00:32:29,536
Welcome to hell!
705
00:32:30,039 --> 00:32:31,556
And that was just the first date.
706
00:32:32,518 --> 00:32:36,251
I underestimated just how
into horror Jason was...
707
00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:39,243
...but I really liked him.
708
00:32:39,378 --> 00:32:42,949
So, maybe I'd learn to… like…
709
00:32:44,090 --> 00:32:44,982
...horror?
710
00:32:45,781 --> 00:32:47,473
She heard the voice again...
711
00:32:48,315 --> 00:32:50,358
...this time it was in the hallway.
712
00:32:51,046 --> 00:32:52,587
It was getting closer…
713
00:32:53,142 --> 00:32:57,705
...she heard the nails
scrape against the walls!
714
00:32:58,758 --> 00:32:59,831
Every single date…
715
00:32:59,931 --> 00:33:04,601
...had something to do with either
a serial killer or an evil spirit.
716
00:33:04,701 --> 00:33:07,070
You have summoned the pig man on her!
717
00:33:07,798 --> 00:33:08,953
It was fun.
718
00:33:09,399 --> 00:33:10,927
If peeing your pants a little...
719
00:33:11,249 --> 00:33:12,945
...is your kind of fun.
720
00:33:14,588 --> 00:33:17,136
But I guess I felt like
it was my own fault...
721
00:33:18,119 --> 00:33:19,331
...and I had to see it through.
722
00:33:19,932 --> 00:33:21,129
It's been two months,
723
00:33:21,229 --> 00:33:22,600
how can I possibly tell him now?
724
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,206
I'd made my bed.
725
00:33:24,470 --> 00:33:25,607
And now...
726
00:33:26,150 --> 00:33:27,719
...I was gonna get murdered in it.
727
00:33:28,034 --> 00:33:30,145
He's gonna find out sooner or later.
728
00:33:30,245 --> 00:33:32,072
Yeah, but he's gonna think
our entire relationship...
729
00:33:32,172 --> 00:33:33,251
...is based off a lie.
730
00:33:33,351 --> 00:33:36,072
Your entire relationship
is based on a lie.
731
00:33:36,957 --> 00:33:38,183
She kinda had a point.
732
00:33:38,457 --> 00:33:42,350
But... the whole thing was also kinda
her fault in the first place.
733
00:33:42,450 --> 00:33:43,312
And the sex?
734
00:33:44,733 --> 00:33:46,124
We haven't really gotten there yet.
735
00:33:46,590 --> 00:33:47,790
It's been two months!
736
00:33:47,890 --> 00:33:51,068
Well we're not all morally
disturbed as you, Carrie.
737
00:33:53,016 --> 00:33:55,926
Besides I was thinking… this
Friday will be the night.
738
00:33:56,299 --> 00:33:57,678
I was kind of old-fashioned.
739
00:33:57,942 --> 00:33:58,960
And...
740
00:33:59,510 --> 00:34:01,262
...I didn't like to make the first move.
741
00:34:01,362 --> 00:34:02,368
Oh, my god!
742
00:34:02,635 --> 00:34:03,711
I know what you should do.
743
00:34:03,999 --> 00:34:05,093
This is so perfect.
744
00:34:05,390 --> 00:34:06,446
Date night...
745
00:34:07,007 --> 00:34:07,949
...sex night…
746
00:34:08,460 --> 00:34:09,540
...in a cemetery.
747
00:34:10,857 --> 00:34:11,841
What?
748
00:34:12,242 --> 00:34:13,964
-No.
-Why not?
749
00:34:14,532 --> 00:34:16,419
Who the hell has sex in a graveyard?
750
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,196
Weirdos like your boyfriend.
751
00:34:19,376 --> 00:34:21,718
I should've shut it down right then.
752
00:34:21,818 --> 00:34:23,226
Seriously, think about it.
753
00:34:23,326 --> 00:34:26,183
It will be the greatest thing
that ever happened to him.
754
00:34:26,644 --> 00:34:27,569
Okay.
755
00:34:27,987 --> 00:34:29,835
We climax with sex in a cemetery…
756
00:34:30,241 --> 00:34:31,365
...and then,
757
00:34:31,465 --> 00:34:34,163
I tell him that I wanna put
this whole horror thing...
758
00:34:34,263 --> 00:34:36,366
...behind us and he agrees.
759
00:34:37,434 --> 00:34:38,916
How did I ever think...
760
00:34:39,228 --> 00:34:40,700
...this was a good plan?
761
00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,621
What are we doing here?
762
00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:48,766
Just… come on.
763
00:34:49,834 --> 00:34:52,638
I don't know, I thought maybe
I'd read things wrong.
764
00:34:53,111 --> 00:34:55,759
I was sure this was going
to be the night we were gonna...
765
00:34:56,704 --> 00:35:00,361
...you know… but then she drags me
to a graveyard.
766
00:35:01,192 --> 00:35:02,647
Seriously, what are we doing here?
767
00:35:04,337 --> 00:35:05,435
What do you think?
768
00:35:08,923 --> 00:35:11,975
I knew that my surprise
was a big hit right away.
769
00:35:13,247 --> 00:35:14,608
That's the moment I remember thinking…
770
00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:18,192
Lori's like really, really into horror.
771
00:35:21,211 --> 00:35:22,458
You are incredible.
772
00:35:25,468 --> 00:35:26,709
I'm glad you liked it.
773
00:35:26,927 --> 00:35:28,711
I was about to break the news...
774
00:35:29,408 --> 00:35:30,333
...when…
775
00:35:30,433 --> 00:35:33,065
God, I can't believe we're in tune
on so many levels.
776
00:35:34,515 --> 00:35:35,515
Yeah…
777
00:35:37,137 --> 00:35:40,448
I just didn't wanna ruin
the perfect moment.
778
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:42,648
It just went so well,
779
00:35:42,748 --> 00:35:44,655
I-I didn't want to get
into it then and there.
780
00:35:44,755 --> 00:35:47,370
Well, now you realize you never can.
781
00:35:47,694 --> 00:35:48,564
You're in too deep.
782
00:35:49,342 --> 00:35:50,923
No, I'm not.
783
00:35:51,619 --> 00:35:52,727
You absolutely are.
784
00:35:53,099 --> 00:35:55,426
This is the emo grave
that you have dug...
785
00:35:55,526 --> 00:35:57,142
...and now you have to lie in it.
786
00:35:57,775 --> 00:35:58,894
Really?
787
00:35:59,627 --> 00:36:00,762
He's taking me out tonight.
788
00:36:01,429 --> 00:36:04,971
Put on the wig and push up
those pasty white boobs, Elvira.
789
00:36:05,447 --> 00:36:06,479
Carrie had a point...
790
00:36:07,270 --> 00:36:09,093
...the longer I waited to tell him...
791
00:36:09,669 --> 00:36:10,796
...the harder it would be.
792
00:36:15,109 --> 00:36:16,661
-Hello.
-Hello.
793
00:36:21,771 --> 00:36:22,937
Where are we going?
794
00:36:23,873 --> 00:36:25,712
Just relax… and trust me.
795
00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:27,011
I figured,
796
00:36:27,111 --> 00:36:29,523
you can't give someone bad news...
797
00:36:29,623 --> 00:36:31,244
...while wearing a blindfold.
798
00:36:33,135 --> 00:36:34,211
I'll come clean…
799
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:35,750
...after the surprise.
800
00:36:36,028 --> 00:36:37,446
Alright, just come this way.
801
00:36:38,150 --> 00:36:39,930
We were obviously outside…
802
00:36:40,817 --> 00:36:42,050
...so I told myself...
803
00:36:42,687 --> 00:36:44,218
..."Maybe we're having a picnic?"
804
00:36:44,558 --> 00:36:45,408
At night.
805
00:36:46,279 --> 00:36:49,376
I know… I was in complete denial.
806
00:36:51,253 --> 00:36:52,860
The year was 1942,
807
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,316
and a young lady named Janet was in love.
808
00:36:55,416 --> 00:36:57,773
She met Donald at a USO dance...
809
00:36:57,873 --> 00:36:59,592
...they soon fell madly in love...
810
00:37:00,170 --> 00:37:01,517
...and were married in the spring...
811
00:37:01,617 --> 00:37:04,104
...before Donald was shipped off
to war in the South Pacific.
812
00:37:04,651 --> 00:37:08,054
It started off as a sweet innocent story…
813
00:37:08,452 --> 00:37:09,556
...like the Shining...
814
00:37:10,386 --> 00:37:11,650
...the Exorcist...
815
00:37:12,103 --> 00:37:13,514
...Paranormal Activity.
816
00:37:14,445 --> 00:37:15,820
But Donald never returned home.
817
00:37:16,229 --> 00:37:18,864
Upon hearing of her husband's demise...
818
00:37:19,813 --> 00:37:21,064
...Janet took her own life.
819
00:37:21,567 --> 00:37:24,665
She cut her wrists in the home that
she and her husband purchased...
820
00:37:24,765 --> 00:37:26,670
...before he was deployed for war.
821
00:37:27,366 --> 00:37:28,243
A home...
822
00:37:28,941 --> 00:37:31,239
...that she is still said to dwell within…
823
00:37:31,657 --> 00:37:35,592
It was like, "How to seduce a woman"
by Hannibal Lecter.
824
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:41,565
The home that Janet
and Donald shared in this lifetime.
825
00:37:42,205 --> 00:37:43,512
I just want you to know...
826
00:37:44,441 --> 00:37:45,445
...how much you mean to me.
827
00:37:45,545 --> 00:37:47,241
And how much the other night meant to me.
828
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,098
And I have never met
anyone like you, Lori.
829
00:37:52,279 --> 00:37:53,413
Of course.
830
00:37:53,513 --> 00:37:54,870
What could I expect?
831
00:37:55,229 --> 00:37:56,602
I created this monster.
832
00:38:02,354 --> 00:38:03,424
Are you crazy?
833
00:38:04,270 --> 00:38:06,170
We all go a little crazy sometimes.
834
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:08,393
What does that mean?
835
00:38:08,879 --> 00:38:09,967
Oh, come on, it's from Psycho.
836
00:38:21,063 --> 00:38:24,306
Who wants to have sex in a haunted house?
837
00:38:25,292 --> 00:38:27,212
How was he not scared?
838
00:38:30,357 --> 00:38:31,437
I was so terrified...
839
00:38:32,178 --> 00:38:33,904
...I wasn't even sure that I'd be able to…
840
00:38:34,375 --> 00:38:35,371
...perform.
841
00:38:41,911 --> 00:38:44,293
It was pretty hard to concentrate...
842
00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:47,279
...so I decided to keep my eyes closed,
843
00:38:47,379 --> 00:38:50,613
and just imagine we were
in some swanky hotel room.
844
00:38:50,713 --> 00:38:53,428
I... almost started getting into it.
845
00:38:53,528 --> 00:38:54,947
That was until…
846
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,398
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
847
00:38:58,699 --> 00:38:59,561
Lori?
848
00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:04,954
Lori?
849
00:39:05,224 --> 00:39:06,271
Lori?
850
00:39:14,204 --> 00:39:15,131
New blanket.
851
00:39:17,084 --> 00:39:19,395
Once we got home I told Jason the truth.
852
00:39:19,652 --> 00:39:22,614
And we realized we were just
trying to one-up each other.
853
00:39:23,377 --> 00:39:27,173
So now, the scariest thing we watch
is a political documentary.
854
00:39:28,402 --> 00:39:29,518
They're terrifying.
61161
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