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My name is Alex Riley...
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00:00:03,364 --> 00:00:05,865
and this is the story...
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of my life.
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00:00:07,435 --> 00:00:09,635
As an only child growing up in Chicago,
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00:00:09,637 --> 00:00:11,971
I had two major obsessions.
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One was inventing stuff.
The other was Michael Jordan.
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Jordan takes the fall away,
and it's good!
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Yes!
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But when my mom met Ron, we moved
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from Chicago to Los Angeles,
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and just like that,
I had a whole new family.
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Not my idea.
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00:00:29,624 --> 00:00:31,991
25 years later, my life as an inventor
14
00:00:31,993 --> 00:00:34,927
hit a bit of a rough patch.
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The Switch-fork!
16
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_
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Around the same time,
my marriage collapsed.
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Sarah! Sarah!
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00:00:48,242 --> 00:00:49,742
[couch springs squeaking]
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Then I ended up getting a divorce.
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Also not my idea.
22
00:00:54,048 --> 00:00:57,416
And when I turned 65,
and was a successful inventor,
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00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,051
I finally retired.
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[grunting]
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Definitely not my idea.
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00:01:03,991 --> 00:01:05,385
But if there's one thing I've learned,
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it's that every day of my
life has the opportunity
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to be the best day ever.
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And today... well, today's my birthday.
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- [snoring]
- _
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Happy birthday, my big 14-year-old.
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- Thanks, Mom.
- What's wrong?
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Nothing,
I just miss my friends back home.
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Birthdays are supposed to be
about going to a Bulls game
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and eating Lou Malnati's pizza.
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00:01:34,422 --> 00:01:36,655
Well, I couldn't get
Michael Jordan here, but...
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Guys?
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- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday, little buddy.
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Awesome!
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I had someone on my
flight crew pick it up
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on a layover in Chicago.
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See? Birthdays are birthdays
no matter where we are.
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Make a wish!
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00:01:49,503 --> 00:01:51,570
I remember turning 14, little bro.
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It was only a month ago.
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Look at him. They're so cute
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when they're this age, aren't they?
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[all laugh]
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_
50
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:05,985
- Happy birthday, Daddy!
- Hey, sweetie. Thank you.
51
00:02:05,987 --> 00:02:09,154
It's time to play
pop-a-shot at the arcade.
52
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Okay, we did that last year.
53
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Are you sure that's what you want to do?
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00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:16,729
Daddy, yes. You said.
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Okay, if that's what you want,
then let's do this!
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- Yeah!
- Awesome!
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00:02:23,169 --> 00:02:25,193
_
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00:02:25,273 --> 00:02:28,607
Good morning, Alex. And happy birthday!
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[bedside table chimes]
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You have no plans scheduled today.
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00:02:33,147 --> 00:02:35,547
What? No, that's not right.
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00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:37,249
I'm playing pop-a-shot with Abby later.
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She confirmed yesterday.
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Abby canceled today. 6:12 a.m.
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Displaying sad message.
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00:02:45,126 --> 00:02:47,493
Hey, Dad, something came up at work.
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I'm not gonna be able to make it today.
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I'm so sorry. But happy birthday.
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Can't wait to celebrate soon.
Love you. Go Bulls!
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Seriously?
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00:02:58,606 --> 00:03:01,707
? Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to... ?
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00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:04,476
Oh, shut up.
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00:03:04,478 --> 00:03:07,680
[theme music plays]
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- Okay. Sit down, sit down.
- Can I open it?
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Just one sec. Are we ready?
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00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:18,528
Okay, let me refocus.
And take your time on this, okay?
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This puppy's battery lasts
a whole five minutes.
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Okay, go!
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00:03:24,014 --> 00:03:28,049
No way, Ron, what?
A signed Michael Jordan rookie card?
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00:03:28,051 --> 00:03:29,918
I can't believe it!
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00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,619
I can't remember.
You like Michael Jordan, right?
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00:03:31,621 --> 00:03:33,822
This is incredible. Thank you, Ron.
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00:03:33,824 --> 00:03:35,590
Trade you for my O.J. Simpson card.
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I got it when he came and spoke
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to our school about good citizenship.
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- Great athlete, better person.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:44,833
And my boy Brandon plays bass. He rips.
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00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:46,234
So yeah, I'm just doing this part time
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until the music thing takes off.
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- Right. That's cool.
- It's not bad.
91
00:03:51,775 --> 00:03:54,877
Yeah, so how about those tokens?
92
00:03:54,946 --> 00:03:59,180
Ah, yes. Here you are.
And here, take this flyer,
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00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:00,415
if you ever want to check us out.
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00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:01,750
You heard of Pungent Stench?
95
00:04:01,752 --> 00:04:03,718
- No.
- We're opening for them!
96
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,754
Daddy, come on. Let's play.
97
00:04:05,756 --> 00:04:06,840
Oh, look who's here!
98
00:04:06,924 --> 00:04:10,925
- Abby!
- Willa! Ruby! Let's play!
99
00:04:10,927 --> 00:04:12,761
Hey, Megan. Hey, Sally. How are you?
100
00:04:12,763 --> 00:04:14,162
I'm okay. How are you?
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00:04:14,164 --> 00:04:15,052
I'm pretty good.
102
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:18,099
She means with the whole divorce.
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00:04:18,101 --> 00:04:21,035
Yeah, I appreciate your concern,
as always,
104
00:04:21,037 --> 00:04:23,571
but it's been about six months,
so I'm okay.
105
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So inspiring.
106
00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:27,842
Guys, look. I'm doing just fine, okay?
107
00:04:27,844 --> 00:04:29,055
You know, I'm actually
doing better than fine.
108
00:04:29,113 --> 00:04:32,213
I feel great, you know?
Work stuff is starting to click,
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00:04:32,215 --> 00:04:34,883
so Alex Riley is on a bit of a roll.
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So you're out of the garage
and back on your feet.
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00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:41,689
Well, no. I do have
a full-size fridge though now.
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00:04:41,691 --> 00:04:44,150
Abby, are you going glamping
with us this weekend?
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It's going to be so fun.
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Daddy, can we go glamping? Please?
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What's this now?
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00:04:48,199 --> 00:04:49,827
Oh, it's just a little trip
some of the moms
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and daughters from school
are taking this weekend.
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00:04:52,169 --> 00:04:53,868
We would've invited Abby, but we knew
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Sarah couldn't make it
down from San Francisco.
120
00:04:55,906 --> 00:04:59,174
Well, I mean I'm available
this weekend. I can take her!
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00:04:59,176 --> 00:05:01,142
Really? That won't feel weird?
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00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,811
I don't want Abby to miss out on things
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00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:04,191
because her parents are divorced.
124
00:05:04,214 --> 00:05:06,114
I mean, unless it's weird
for you guys, you know?
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00:05:06,116 --> 00:05:07,582
I don't want to make any
of the other husbands
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00:05:07,584 --> 00:05:11,019
jealous or anything. [laughing]
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00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:16,357
- We'll send you the info.
- Awesome. Great.
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00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,327
Hey, Abby, guess what?
I'm gonna be your mommy this weekend!
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00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:22,497
- Yay!
- Yay! Glamping!
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00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:25,033
Sorry I can't make it, Dad.
Sometimes I hate my job.
131
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No, you don't.
132
00:05:26,436 --> 00:05:28,870
Okay, no, I don't. I'm the freaking GM
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00:05:28,872 --> 00:05:31,105
of the Chicago Bulls!
How cool is that, huh?
134
00:05:31,107 --> 00:05:34,876
But I feel terrible about
missing your big day.
135
00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,945
It's no big deal, okay? It's a birthday.
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I'm an adult.
We can celebrate another day!
137
00:05:39,950 --> 00:05:43,051
You sure? I'll make it up to you, okay?
138
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:46,087
Fine, yeah, absolutely.
Just give me a little notice.
139
00:05:46,089 --> 00:05:48,990
I may be retired,
but I still have a very busy calendar.
140
00:05:48,992 --> 00:05:51,593
Calendar? You have
no events scheduled today.
141
00:05:51,595 --> 00:05:53,728
Thank you. Power down!
142
00:05:54,698 --> 00:05:56,598
That is so cool. Can I hold it?
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It's a collectable.
I mean, it's kind of delicate.
144
00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,968
Nothing personal, Darryl.
It's just... you know...
145
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Is that a Michael Jordan rookie card?
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Yeah! Here, hold it!
147
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,174
Whoa! It's in mint condition,
and it's signed?
148
00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:07,942
She knows about basketball cards?
149
00:06:07,944 --> 00:06:09,844
If she can also quote "Caddyshack,"
150
00:06:09,846 --> 00:06:12,380
we may be dealing with a
"Weird Science" situation here.
151
00:06:12,382 --> 00:06:13,948
My dad's a big collector,
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but he doesn't have anything this cool.
153
00:06:16,019 --> 00:06:18,786
He would lose his mind if he saw this.
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00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:20,755
["There She Goes Again"
by the La's plays]
155
00:06:20,757 --> 00:06:22,590
I mean the best card he has is
a Dominique Wilkins rookie...
156
00:06:22,592 --> 00:06:28,229
? There she goes There she goes again ?
157
00:06:28,231 --> 00:06:32,467
- You can have it!
- What?
158
00:06:32,469 --> 00:06:35,036
You're giving me your signed
Michael Jordan card for my dad?
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Yeah.
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Wow, I-I don't even know what to say.
161
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Thank you, Alex.
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[pop music plays]
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What did I just do?
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That was a disaster.
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This bill is a disaster.
I'm not signing this.
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00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:03,064
Am I right, little bro? It's 2042.
167
00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:06,501
Man wants to make love to his robot,
what do I care?
168
00:07:06,503 --> 00:07:08,136
You know, I still can't
believe you're the governor.
169
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:11,239
Me neither! So what are you doing today?
170
00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,441
Well, I was supposed
to get together with Abby,
171
00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:16,311
but she got busy. You're in Sacramento,
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so yeah. Not the best of birthdays.
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00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:22,951
- Oh, my God! It's your birthday?
- And it just got worse.
174
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I feel terrible.
175
00:07:24,454 --> 00:07:26,154
I mean, I knew it was coming up,
176
00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:27,922
but there's so much going on up here.
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Maybe I can name something after you?
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A bridge, or a highway, or something?
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[scoffs]
180
00:07:33,163 --> 00:07:36,164
What's that?
Oh, I'm being told I can't do that.
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00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:40,401
You know what? This is good.
I'll just... I'll spend a me day.
182
00:07:40,403 --> 00:07:42,003
That's the spirit! It's not sad
183
00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:43,605
unless you really think about it.
184
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Happy birthday, little bro!
185
00:07:45,141 --> 00:07:48,476
- Go Lakers!
- Go Bulls!
186
00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,278
Whoa, wait. This can't be right!
187
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,480
$800 for "luxury tent rental"?
188
00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:56,651
$300 for "white glove campfire set-up"?
189
00:07:56,653 --> 00:07:59,253
Dude, it's glamping.
Glamorous camping. What did you think?
190
00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:01,422
I thought they didn't know
how to pronounce camping!
191
00:08:01,424 --> 00:08:04,058
I mean I can't afford this.
I'm living in a garage here.
192
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,294
Yeah, I know. It's why my foosball table
193
00:08:06,296 --> 00:08:08,229
is in the backyard, instead of in here,
194
00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:10,231
as the centerpiece of my man cave.
195
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:11,933
Damn squirrel living in it.
196
00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:13,668
Wendy won't let you
bring it in the house?
197
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:17,138
Hey! I don't have to ask her.
This is my house.
198
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:19,574
It just doesn't exactly match
the aesthetic we got going on.
199
00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:21,376
The aesthetic being?
200
00:08:21,378 --> 00:08:23,311
Things Wendy will allow in the house.
201
00:08:23,313 --> 00:08:25,246
What am I gonna do?
202
00:08:25,248 --> 00:08:27,849
This whole trip is gonna
cost me like three grand.
203
00:08:27,851 --> 00:08:28,923
Then don't go, man.
204
00:08:29,019 --> 00:08:31,619
But she's so excited, you know?
And I promised her.
205
00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:33,788
She's seven...
wave something shiny in front of her.
206
00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:36,858
It's just this has been such a
rough year for her, you know?
207
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,160
I just want to be able to
give her this one thing.
208
00:08:39,162 --> 00:08:40,862
You know the one thing
her dad promised her,
209
00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:42,563
and I couldn't even do that.
210
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:47,168
Yeah. Wendy won't let me
give you any money.
211
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,171
- I wasn't asking!
- Just getting it out there.
212
00:08:50,173 --> 00:08:52,707
I would take it if you offered, though.
213
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:55,209
What was I thinking?
Why would I give that card to Nori?
214
00:08:55,211 --> 00:08:57,745
Sometimes when you're a pretty girl,
boys just give you things.
215
00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:59,113
Trust me. I've been there.
216
00:08:59,115 --> 00:09:01,015
That was the worst thing I ever...
217
00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:03,017
Wait. Are you trying to help
me or compliment yourself?
218
00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:06,087
A person can be sympathetic and
attractive at the same time!
219
00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:09,223
That was the coolest gift I've
ever gotten, and now it's gone.
220
00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:11,292
Not to mention when Ron
finds out you gave it away,
221
00:09:11,294 --> 00:09:12,360
he'll be crushed.
222
00:09:12,462 --> 00:09:14,395
Maybe you should just tell
Nori you made a mistake,
223
00:09:14,397 --> 00:09:15,472
and ask for the card back.
224
00:09:15,499 --> 00:09:17,999
- I don't want to get her upset!
- She'll understand!
225
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,034
She's used to boys losing
their heads around her.
226
00:09:20,036 --> 00:09:22,537
We know our power.
227
00:09:22,539 --> 00:09:23,741
Okay, I'll talk to Nori.
228
00:09:23,874 --> 00:09:26,908
I'm proud of you, honey.
You're doing the mature thing.
229
00:09:30,246 --> 00:09:33,347
Or there's a less mature way to go.
230
00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:35,717
A better way, where Dad never finds out,
231
00:09:35,719 --> 00:09:37,251
and Nori never gets upset.
232
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:38,953
I'm listening.
233
00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:41,956
We find another card and
I forge MJ's signature.
234
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:44,292
I've been signing my own
report cards since I was six.
235
00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:46,194
Then we sneak our way into Nori's house,
236
00:09:46,196 --> 00:09:49,297
switch out the cards,
and leave with her none the wiser.
237
00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:51,999
- I don't know.
- Hey, boys!
238
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,402
Oh, there you are. Hey,
I bought a display case for the card.
239
00:09:54,404 --> 00:09:56,671
You want to put her in
and see how she looks?
240
00:09:56,673 --> 00:09:59,273
Um... maybe tomorrow. You know?
241
00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:01,642
It's a little dark in here
and the first time I see it,
242
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:05,046
I just want it to be
bathed in natural light.
243
00:10:05,048 --> 00:10:08,916
Okey-doke. Tomorrow it is.
244
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:11,719
- I'm in.
- Yes, this is the right move.
245
00:10:11,721 --> 00:10:15,356
Trust me.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
246
00:10:15,358 --> 00:10:17,325
Not sure it was necessary
to add that last part.
247
00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:19,060
Seems like it's sort of tempting fate.
248
00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:21,596
What do I care about fate?
Bring it on, fate!
249
00:10:21,598 --> 00:10:24,232
- Give me all you got.
- Let's just stop talking.
250
00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:30,962
- Are you sure about this?
- I was on the way here,
251
00:10:31,037 --> 00:10:32,566
but now that we're actually
going through with it,
252
00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:34,538
I think it's really dumb,
and probably won't work out.
253
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,273
- [doorbell rings]
- Wait, what?
254
00:10:36,275 --> 00:10:38,608
Oh, hey, guys. What's going on?
255
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:42,212
Uh... nothing.
We just... We just thought we'd...
256
00:10:42,214 --> 00:10:44,147
We just thought we'd
stop by and say hello,
257
00:10:44,149 --> 00:10:45,649
since we were in the neighborhood.
258
00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:47,651
But you live, like, four doors down.
259
00:10:47,653 --> 00:10:49,252
Aren't you always in the neighborhood?
260
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:52,155
Okay, busted. I'll tell you the truth.
261
00:10:52,157 --> 00:10:55,625
We're here because Alex has to
use the bathroom really bad.
262
00:10:58,797 --> 00:11:00,097
Right. But again, your house is...
263
00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:02,733
Like really bad.
264
00:11:02,735 --> 00:11:05,102
Okay, fine. Come in.
265
00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:08,772
- Bathroom?
- I know. I'm a genius, right?
266
00:11:08,774 --> 00:11:10,874
I don't know what to do, you know?
267
00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:12,014
How do you tell your kid that
268
00:11:12,078 --> 00:11:13,613
they can't have
something that they want?
269
00:11:13,646 --> 00:11:16,780
Oh, come on. You've broken bad
news to Abby before, right?
270
00:11:16,782 --> 00:11:18,582
Wrong. I mean, I'm not proud of it,
271
00:11:18,584 --> 00:11:21,084
but Sarah used to handle
breaking all the bad news.
272
00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:22,586
All of it? Really?
273
00:11:22,588 --> 00:11:24,588
Yeah, she never had a problem with it.
274
00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:27,290
It's almost like it brought
her some weird sort of joy.
275
00:11:27,292 --> 00:11:29,526
In retrospect, probably a red flag.
276
00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:30,727
Yeah.
277
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:32,763
Point is I'm the good cop.
278
00:11:32,765 --> 00:11:34,264
'Kay? And everyone loves the good cop.
279
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:35,665
Abby loves the good cop.
280
00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:37,801
Well, you can't always be a good cop.
281
00:11:37,803 --> 00:11:40,704
I mean, as a parent,
sometimes you have to be a bad cop too.
282
00:11:40,706 --> 00:11:43,306
Like that time we wouldn't
let you go to space camp.
283
00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:45,175
Wait, I thought you said
they canceled space camp.
284
00:11:45,177 --> 00:11:47,744
No, it was like six hours away.
285
00:11:47,746 --> 00:11:50,313
We just didn't want to drive you.
286
00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,115
See? Just do it like that!
287
00:11:52,117 --> 00:11:54,451
Yeah, okay.
Thanks, Ron, that's terrible advice.
288
00:11:58,090 --> 00:12:00,023
Hey, Alex. Just you today?
289
00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:03,293
Yep. All alone,
although I would say hi to Eleanor
290
00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:06,163
- if she is around.
- No, she's not around today.
291
00:12:06,165 --> 00:12:09,499
Oh. Seems like all the women in my life
292
00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:10,767
are avoiding me today.
293
00:12:10,769 --> 00:12:12,169
You know she's engaged, right?
294
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,738
Yes. We're still friends,
295
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:16,029
we still enjoy each other's company.
296
00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:18,475
You know besides,
we have faced much tougher obstacles.
297
00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:21,211
I once spit an unwanted
mint in her mouth.
298
00:12:21,213 --> 00:12:23,180
Quite the romance you
got going on there.
299
00:12:23,182 --> 00:12:24,714
Just the one water, he's alone today.
300
00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:26,750
["One" by Harry Nilsson plays]
301
00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:29,619
? One is the loneliest
number That you'll ever do ?
302
00:12:29,621 --> 00:12:31,455
Yeah, it's a new smart jukebox.
303
00:12:31,457 --> 00:12:33,924
It listens to conversations,
and then plays relevant music.
304
00:12:33,926 --> 00:12:35,492
Well, just don't have it
play "Happy Birthday."
305
00:12:35,494 --> 00:12:37,194
Oh, man. Is today your birthday?
306
00:12:37,196 --> 00:12:38,862
- Mmm.
- And you're here? Alone?
307
00:12:38,864 --> 00:12:41,298
I had plans, okay? My daughter and I
308
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,500
were gonna go to the arcade,
play pop-a-shot.
309
00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:45,502
We used to do that every
year on my birthday.
310
00:12:45,504 --> 00:12:47,737
But as I got busier,
and more successful,
311
00:12:47,739 --> 00:12:49,139
we sort of fell out of the habit.
312
00:12:49,141 --> 00:12:50,674
Now that I'm retired, I thought hey!
313
00:12:50,676 --> 00:12:52,442
We'll restart the tradition!
314
00:12:52,444 --> 00:12:54,878
Now she's the one with the big,
important, busy job.
315
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,913
? ?
316
00:12:56,915 --> 00:12:59,549
Kind of ironic when you think
about it, isn't it?
317
00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:02,285
["Cat's Cradle" by Harry Chapin plays]
318
00:13:02,287 --> 00:13:06,256
Oh, come on!
319
00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:11,228
[suspenseful music]
320
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:17,467
? ?
321
00:13:17,469 --> 00:13:19,035
Good news! I bought you some time.
322
00:13:19,037 --> 00:13:21,271
I told Nori you need
some reading material,
323
00:13:21,273 --> 00:13:23,373
because you're a bathroom lingerer.
324
00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:24,474
Unbelievable.
325
00:13:24,476 --> 00:13:26,143
I know! Smart, right?
326
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:28,011
Now let's switch the
cards and get out of here.
327
00:13:28,013 --> 00:13:29,713
I'll be in my study if you need me,
pumpkin!
328
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:31,314
Okay, Daddy!
329
00:13:31,316 --> 00:13:33,783
- Her dad's home?
- Quick! Put the card in!
330
00:13:33,785 --> 00:13:36,253
Hey! Watch it!
331
00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:38,054
Oh no. I can't tell which is which.
332
00:13:38,056 --> 00:13:39,990
I've got to admit,
that's some of my best work.
333
00:13:39,992 --> 00:13:42,425
Really?
334
00:13:42,427 --> 00:13:47,130
Okay, I'm just picking one.
335
00:13:47,132 --> 00:13:48,832
Go!
336
00:13:57,809 --> 00:14:01,511
That was awesome.
337
00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,046
You're totally getting a high five
338
00:14:03,048 --> 00:14:06,283
as soon as I can move my arm again.
339
00:14:07,152 --> 00:14:11,321
- Hey, sweetie, you got a sec?
- Yeah.
340
00:14:11,323 --> 00:14:12,923
- We need to talk.
- Okay.
341
00:14:12,925 --> 00:14:16,226
But first, I got you a strawberry shake!
342
00:14:16,228 --> 00:14:18,195
- Yay!
- Yes, yay!
343
00:14:18,197 --> 00:14:20,797
Because I'm a fun dad
who clearly loves you,
344
00:14:20,799 --> 00:14:23,667
and would do anything within
reason to make you happy!
345
00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:27,775
But even fun dads have to
give bad news sometimes.
346
00:14:30,242 --> 00:14:31,181
What would you say if I told you
347
00:14:31,277 --> 00:14:35,045
that we couldn't go glamping
with your friends this weekend?
348
00:14:35,047 --> 00:14:37,814
Aw, don't look at me like that.
349
00:14:37,816 --> 00:14:40,016
Aw, geez, come on. That's not fair.
350
00:14:40,018 --> 00:14:43,920
We're not going glamping
with my friends?
351
00:14:43,922 --> 00:14:47,457
Of course we are.
I was just kidding! I'm sorry!
352
00:14:47,459 --> 00:14:49,793
And on the way home, we can get a puppy!
353
00:14:49,795 --> 00:14:52,329
- Really?
- I said it! I don't know why!
354
00:14:52,331 --> 00:14:55,332
Both: Yay!
355
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:58,468
You're the best daddy ever!
356
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:01,504
Oh, what did I just do?
357
00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:05,609
Hey, you're right. It does look better
358
00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,844
bathed in the warm, natural light.
359
00:15:07,846 --> 00:15:11,781
- Happy birthday, bud.
- Thanks.
360
00:15:11,783 --> 00:15:13,950
I told you nothing
could possibly go wrong.
361
00:15:13,952 --> 00:15:17,487
- Everything went wrong.
- But we have the card.
362
00:15:17,489 --> 00:15:21,491
Do we?
363
00:15:21,493 --> 00:15:23,793
Man, I'm good.
364
00:15:23,795 --> 00:15:25,262
[laughing]
365
00:15:25,264 --> 00:15:26,963
Oh, there's my Abby!
366
00:15:26,965 --> 00:15:29,165
Hey, guess what Grandpa's
got in his freezer?
367
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,834
- Poop-sicles?
- That's right.
368
00:15:30,836 --> 00:15:33,503
Go ask your grandma for one.
369
00:15:33,505 --> 00:15:36,273
She knows they're not really
called poop-sicles, right?
370
00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:40,043
I'm 95% sure,
but I'm not gonna tell her to stop.
371
00:15:40,045 --> 00:15:41,511
I love it too much.
372
00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:42,846
Well, here's your backpack.
373
00:15:42,848 --> 00:15:44,547
Thanks for letting us borrow this.
374
00:15:44,549 --> 00:15:47,651
It saves us the $200 Sherpa
fee on the morning hike.
375
00:15:47,653 --> 00:15:49,552
Guess I'm not much of a bad cop.
376
00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:51,621
Hey, there are worse things
than being called a softie.
377
00:15:52,263 --> 00:15:53,923
But if you don't mind me asking,
where did you come up
378
00:15:53,925 --> 00:15:56,826
with the glamping money?
379
00:15:57,996 --> 00:16:00,630
- Yep, that's real all right.
- Yes! It's real.
380
00:16:00,632 --> 00:16:02,932
Obviously it's real...
that's why I'm selling it to you.
381
00:16:02,934 --> 00:16:06,970
I'll take one of these too.
I'll definitely take that.
382
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:10,640
I'm sorry, Ron.
I didn't know what else to do.
383
00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:12,709
Well, here's how I see it.
384
00:16:12,711 --> 00:16:14,511
You know when you were a kid,
385
00:16:14,513 --> 00:16:17,580
I gave you that card to make you happy,
and it worked.
386
00:16:17,582 --> 00:16:20,383
And then it made you happy
again when you used it
387
00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:22,652
to help your kid.
388
00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:26,823
So if you ask me,
that's a pretty good bang for my buck.
389
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:28,158
Thanks, Ron.
390
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,761
Plus, we'll always have this.
391
00:16:31,763 --> 00:16:32,996
- Bad dog!
- [dog barking]
392
00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:36,333
The video of your neighbor's
dog taking a dump on your lawn?
393
00:16:36,335 --> 00:16:38,968
Give me that.
I hate these stupid phones.
394
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:43,506
They never get the... mmm.
We'll always have this.
395
00:16:43,508 --> 00:16:45,608
Wait, Ron. What?
396
00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:48,578
A signed Michael Jordan rookie card?
I can't believe it!
397
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:50,347
I can't remember.
You like Michael Jordan, right?
398
00:16:50,349 --> 00:16:52,449
Ron, this is incredible. Thank you.
399
00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:54,451
Trade you for my O.J. Simpson card.
400
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:56,820
I got it when he came and spoke...
401
00:16:56,822 --> 00:17:00,023
Hey, hey. How you been, man?
402
00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:02,125
- It's been a while!
- Yeah.
403
00:17:02,127 --> 00:17:05,395
Hey, good timing. We got a gig
on Wednesday at an open mic.
404
00:17:05,397 --> 00:17:08,531
Hearing some big time music
manager might be there, so...
405
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:10,233
Amazing.
406
00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:11,668
Probably my last week
here at the pop-a-shot.
407
00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:15,105
Uh-huh. Well, good luck with that.
408
00:17:15,107 --> 00:17:16,473
Here you go.
409
00:17:16,475 --> 00:17:18,842
We got on at nine.
410
00:17:18,844 --> 00:17:20,744
You want to follow through
with your wrist a little more.
411
00:17:20,746 --> 00:17:22,579
Abby! [laughter]
412
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:24,547
Oh, Abby! What?
413
00:17:24,549 --> 00:17:26,716
You didn't really think I'd
miss your birthday, did you?
414
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:28,385
You said you had work.
415
00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:32,288
Yeah, I was working...
on getting your gift.
416
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,478
What...
417
00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:37,989
Oh, my God.
418
00:17:38,097 --> 00:17:39,896
When I was in college, Grandpa told me
419
00:17:39,898 --> 00:17:41,498
about what you did for me.
420
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,934
Dad, that was your favorite
thing in the world.
421
00:17:44,936 --> 00:17:46,669
No, not even close.
422
00:17:46,671 --> 00:17:48,638
- Aww.
- I was talking about you.
423
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,906
Yeah, I got it.
424
00:17:49,908 --> 00:17:52,604
Oh, I have one more surprise.
425
00:17:54,646 --> 00:17:58,314
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I may have to retract that thank you.
426
00:17:58,316 --> 00:17:59,983
He's clean. Governor?
427
00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:05,822
- Little bro!
- Yeah! Justin! What?
428
00:18:05,824 --> 00:18:07,991
Was the pat down actually necessary?
429
00:18:07,993 --> 00:18:10,326
No, but it was sure fun to watch.
430
00:18:10,328 --> 00:18:12,629
Did you really think I was
going to forget your birthday?
431
00:18:12,631 --> 00:18:15,965
Well, yes. Oh, look what Abby got me.
432
00:18:15,967 --> 00:18:18,435
Signed Michael Jordan rookie card.
433
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:20,370
Wow! Would you look at that?
434
00:18:20,372 --> 00:18:24,040
I'm telling you.
You didn't sign this, did you?
435
00:18:24,042 --> 00:18:26,676
No, but if I did, you'd never know.
436
00:18:26,678 --> 00:18:28,011
I'm that good.
437
00:18:28,013 --> 00:18:32,115
- [laughter]
- God, you two. Oh!
438
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:36,486
Getting gifts on your birthday is great.
439
00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:41,090
But nothing beats the joy
of giving the perfect gift.
440
00:18:41,092 --> 00:18:44,027
The kind of joy that comes
from finding the perfect thing
441
00:18:44,029 --> 00:18:45,528
for the person you love.
442
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:47,330
- Go Lakers!
- No, no! Hand in the face!
443
00:18:47,332 --> 00:18:52,368
He's got him! Oh, God. Justin! What?
444
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:53,970
Even if that person doesn't know
445
00:18:53,972 --> 00:18:55,138
what you had to do to get it.
446
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:58,341
[laughing]
447
00:19:00,879 --> 00:19:07,016
Come on, man. Here. Thank you.
448
00:19:09,488 --> 00:19:12,689
[laughter continues]
449
00:19:16,019 --> 00:19:17,757
See, if you can't make Pasadena,
450
00:19:17,828 --> 00:19:20,995
we got a gig at the Glendale
Public Library on the 14th.
451
00:19:20,997 --> 00:19:23,030
I wish I could, but I got a thing.
452
00:19:23,032 --> 00:19:25,266
No worries. We're playing a steakhouse
453
00:19:25,268 --> 00:19:26,968
in Encino on the 23rd.
454
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:29,771
Ooh, I got something that night too.
It sucks.
455
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:31,839
Dang, seems like
every night we got a gig,
456
00:19:31,841 --> 00:19:33,508
you got something else to do.
457
00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:35,877
It is like that. It's exactly like that.
458
00:19:35,879 --> 00:19:37,678
I just really want you to hear us.
459
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,414
Hey, you know I'm not even remotely
460
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:41,115
in the music industry, right?
461
00:19:41,117 --> 00:19:42,984
You know what? I'm getting my guitar.
462
00:19:42,986 --> 00:19:45,520
I just got a new song idea.
The glamping man.
463
00:19:45,522 --> 00:19:47,088
- It's all about you!
- Wow.
464
00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:48,656
I'll be right back!
465
00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:50,525
- Honey, run!
- But I'm still...
466
00:19:50,527 --> 00:19:52,727
Come on, let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
467
00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:54,728
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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468
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:59,328
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