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1
00:00:00,142 --> 00:00:02,043
2
00:00:04,555 --> 00:00:05,690
Hey.
3
00:00:05,757 --> 00:00:08,392
I have something amazing to tell you.
4
00:00:08,459 --> 00:00:12,630
I was on my way back from
a delivery to Patchouli Julie...
5
00:00:12,697 --> 00:00:13,964
Smells like sophomore year.
6
00:00:14,031 --> 00:00:15,999
But, I was driving down Hyperion,
7
00:00:16,066 --> 00:00:18,336
and look at what I saw.
8
00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:20,372
Paige, every other building
in town has that tag.
9
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,940
Soft Serve is like
the HPV of street art.
10
00:00:23,008 --> 00:00:25,443
No, no, no, Jordan. Look at my face.
11
00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:27,579
I'm not upset at all.
12
00:00:27,646 --> 00:00:29,648
I mean, I didn't cry or blast Adele,
13
00:00:29,714 --> 00:00:31,049
or obsessively stalk him on Instagram.
14
00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:32,750
Don't you realize what this means?
15
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:34,820
I am finally over Soft Serve.
16
00:00:34,885 --> 00:00:36,687
Good for you.
17
00:00:36,754 --> 00:00:38,257
Hey, what is all this stuff?
18
00:00:38,323 --> 00:00:40,659
Uh, this is a useless box
of crap that my mom sent me.
19
00:00:40,726 --> 00:00:43,161
It's, like, old report cards, CDs.
20
00:00:43,227 --> 00:00:45,329
What the hell am I supposed to
do with old calling cards?
21
00:00:45,397 --> 00:00:47,332
Do these things even work anymore?
22
00:00:47,399 --> 00:00:49,968
But all of this is just
an excuse to send me these.
23
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:52,871
"How to avoid being Single
and Childless by 30."
24
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:54,183
Oh, "The Twenty-Something's
25
00:00:54,208 --> 00:00:55,873
Guide to Not Wasting Your Twenties."
26
00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:57,508
I'm throwing it all out.
27
00:00:57,576 --> 00:00:59,845
Oh, there's another package that
came addressed to both of us.
28
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,412
I thought you might
want to open something, too.
29
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:02,814
Aww.
30
00:01:07,085 --> 00:01:08,485
(Jen?e's recording)
Wazaaap!
31
00:01:08,553 --> 00:01:10,122
You've been invited to Jen?e's
32
00:01:10,187 --> 00:01:11,856
'90s themed birthday party.
33
00:01:11,922 --> 00:01:14,225
So bust out the scrunchies,
crack open your Goosebumps,
34
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,193
but don't tell your friends,
35
00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:19,130
because could this party
be any more exclusive?
36
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:21,132
There's a pre-party dinner,
a post-party brunch,
37
00:01:21,198 --> 00:01:22,799
a post-brunch hike.
38
00:01:22,866 --> 00:01:23,934
This isn't a party invitation.
39
00:01:24,002 --> 00:01:25,402
This is, like, a vacation itinerary.
40
00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:26,803
What, is she celebrating
for the whole month?
41
00:01:26,871 --> 00:01:29,207
- Yeah, it's Jen?euary.
- Good one.
42
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:31,043
No, that's literally
what she's calling it.
43
00:01:31,109 --> 00:01:32,844
See? "Jen?euary."
44
00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:34,612
"Come celebrate the decade of my birth."
45
00:01:34,847 --> 00:01:36,783
- (whining)
- _
46
00:01:36,808 --> 00:01:37,883
God, narcissists throw themselves
47
00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:39,516
the best birthday parties.
48
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,618
She even has sponsors.
49
00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:43,187
Uh, drinks by Starving Girl vodka.
50
00:01:43,254 --> 00:01:45,389
Edibles by Mary and Jane.
51
00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:47,058
Beats by Soft Serve.
52
00:01:48,927 --> 00:01:50,261
I'm not going.
53
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:54,743
_
54
00:01:55,306 --> 00:01:57,296
Say baby what's your name?
55
00:01:57,321 --> 00:01:58,556
Are you the one Mary?
56
00:01:58,581 --> 00:01:59,587
Are you Jane?
57
00:02:00,306 --> 00:02:02,040
First of all, you're going to this party
58
00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:03,474
because it's a work thing.
59
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,377
Who's gonna help me put out
the baked goods?
60
00:02:05,443 --> 00:02:08,013
Who's gonna help me hang the pot-?ata?
61
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,382
I forgot about the pot-?ata.
62
00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:12,384
Yeah, we are gonna get
so many customers from this.
63
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:15,252
People aren't gonna be able to
beat a super-stoned donkey
64
00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:18,355
with a stick without
thinking about Mary and Jane.
65
00:02:18,422 --> 00:02:20,091
It's one thing for me to see
his art on the street
66
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,398
but I didn't think I was
gonna have to see him in person.
67
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,695
I don't know how I'm gonna react.
68
00:02:23,761 --> 00:02:25,129
What if I cry?
69
00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:26,698
What if I throw myself at him
in desperation?
70
00:02:26,765 --> 00:02:29,467
What if I get drunk and take off
my top and start a fistfight?
71
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,702
I don't want to invalidate
your feelings, but, like,
72
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:32,937
that last thing would be awesome.
73
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:34,938
I'm just saying, it's too soon.
74
00:02:35,005 --> 00:02:36,508
Paige, don't give him this power.
75
00:02:36,575 --> 00:02:38,676
It's not up to him to decide
whether you miss this party.
76
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,011
He's not your fun lord.
77
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,247
Okay, if anything,
you have to go to this party.
78
00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:44,382
Have the time of your life
right in front of him.
79
00:02:44,448 --> 00:02:46,885
- He doesn't get to decide.
- Exactly!
80
00:02:46,951 --> 00:02:49,886
If anything, he should be
nervous about seeing me.
81
00:02:49,954 --> 00:02:51,055
He should be terrified!
82
00:02:51,122 --> 00:02:52,190
You're right.
83
00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:53,557
I will go to this party.
84
00:02:53,623 --> 00:02:54,825
He's not my fun lord.
85
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:57,361
I am my own fun lord. And you know what?
86
00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,729
Maybe I will get drunk
and take off my top
87
00:02:58,795 --> 00:02:59,897
and start a fistfight.
88
00:02:59,963 --> 00:03:02,332
I swear, I would pay money to see that.
89
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,403
90
00:03:05,468 --> 00:03:08,071
Hey, do you think this is '90s enough.
91
00:03:08,139 --> 00:03:10,475
God, I had the perfect '90s item.
92
00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:12,510
I had an original 8-ball jacket.
93
00:03:12,576 --> 00:03:14,579
Of course, that's the thing
my mom got rid of.
94
00:03:14,646 --> 00:03:17,615
It's 'cause my dad gave it to me
after they got divorced.
95
00:03:17,682 --> 00:03:20,785
And yeah, his younger girlfriend
Shana did have the same jacket.
96
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,419
I mean, Shana was rad.
97
00:03:22,486 --> 00:03:24,087
She taught me to do a fishtail braid.
98
00:03:24,154 --> 00:03:26,257
She took me to see "Hellraiser 3."
99
00:03:26,324 --> 00:03:29,961
My mom got rid of the jacket
because she hated Shana.
100
00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:31,528
Look at this, she highlighted stuff.
101
00:03:31,595 --> 00:03:34,265
"Chapter 3: Does your haircut
make you unemployable?"
102
00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:35,866
Does it specify the haircut?
103
00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:37,169
This has to stop.
104
00:03:39,437 --> 00:03:42,707
She hasn't changed her outgoing
message in, like, 20 years.
105
00:03:42,773 --> 00:03:44,675
- Leave your number after the beep...
- Number after the beep.
106
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,792
You don't have to worry.
107
00:03:45,817 --> 00:03:47,667
- I'll get back to you in a hurry.
- (beep)
108
00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:50,550
Hey, mom, look,
I got your box of useless crap
109
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:53,517
and I just want to say that
I don't need any more old CDs
110
00:03:53,585 --> 00:03:56,275
and I don't need any VHS tapes
of "Quantum Leap."
111
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,634
So you can stop using them as an excuse
112
00:03:58,659 --> 00:04:00,023
to send me self-help books,
113
00:04:00,091 --> 00:04:02,251
because I am fine.
114
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,462
Maybe I should send you books
115
00:04:03,527 --> 00:04:05,129
about how to treat
your daughter like an adult
116
00:04:05,195 --> 00:04:08,499
and not give away her favorite jacket.
117
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,201
I'm sorry.
118
00:04:10,268 --> 00:04:11,788
I wish there was something I could do.
119
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,789
_
120
00:04:16,941 --> 00:04:20,679
121
00:04:24,816 --> 00:04:27,118
Hola, chicas.
122
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,853
Oh, my God. This party is so bomb,
123
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,456
it's gonna be strapped to a bus
with Keanu Reeves.
124
00:04:31,523 --> 00:04:34,392
- '90s.
- Oh, my God! Ginger Spice.
125
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:35,593
Girl power!
126
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,194
What is that?
127
00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:39,263
Oh, is that what they used to say?
128
00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,565
I'm actually too young
to remember the Spice Girls
129
00:04:41,632 --> 00:04:44,401
when they really happened...
I just love the dress.
130
00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:48,773
Anyway, so we've got '90s
karaoke, a Zima bar,
131
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,443
a photo booth with
the fountain from "Friends,"
132
00:04:51,509 --> 00:04:55,080
and of course, the hottest DJ in L.A....
133
00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,249
What a man what a man what a man...
134
00:04:58,316 --> 00:04:59,751
Usually you have to book him
eight months in advance,
135
00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:01,519
but this time, he made an exception,
136
00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:04,588
'cause we're, like, supes tight
these days.
137
00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:06,523
Hey, Paige, would it be weird for you
138
00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:08,927
if Soft Serve and I started dating?
139
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:12,096
I mean, I would never,
because we're such good friends.
140
00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:13,598
Unless it wouldn't be weird
141
00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,734
because we're not such good friends?
142
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,370
- Wait, what?
- Anyway, we can talk about this later.
143
00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:20,305
(Jen?e, fading)
I'm so happy you guys came...
144
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:22,507
(dance music playing)
145
00:05:22,837 --> 00:05:24,342
Paige, what are you doing?
146
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,743
Looking like I'm having fun.
147
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,411
Well, it looks like you're
airing out your pits.
148
00:05:27,478 --> 00:05:29,480
Hey, I have to fake it
'til I believe it.
149
00:05:29,547 --> 00:05:31,048
It's like the woman
who does the TED talk
150
00:05:31,115 --> 00:05:32,649
about posing like Superman.
151
00:05:32,716 --> 00:05:34,451
If you hold the confident
superhero pose long enough...
152
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:37,254
I know, I know, you can't get
hit by real bullets.
153
00:05:37,321 --> 00:05:38,890
You didn't watch it 'til the end.
154
00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:40,025
You don't need a TED talk.
155
00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:41,492
What you need is a drink.
156
00:05:41,559 --> 00:05:42,860
- Stay right here.
- Okay.
157
00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:44,595
But please come back quickly.
158
00:05:44,661 --> 00:05:46,630
It's hard for me to look like
I'm having fun by myself.
159
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,132
Oh, but I do know how to juggle.
160
00:05:48,199 --> 00:05:50,302
Just wait for me, okay?
161
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,043
I like your outfit.
162
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,612
Who are you? Kriss or Kross?
163
00:06:00,679 --> 00:06:02,714
Isn't it obvious?
164
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,582
- And you are?
- Felicity.
165
00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:05,649
Dear Sally,
166
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:08,586
Ben is so cute, but Noah's so nice.
167
00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:10,053
I'm thinking about cutting my hair,
168
00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:11,288
and it won't be the worst mistake
169
00:06:11,355 --> 00:06:12,755
I've ever made in my life, will it?
170
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,362
So, uh, we could stand in line
for another 20 minutes
171
00:06:18,429 --> 00:06:20,465
for some super-lame themed cocktails,
172
00:06:20,531 --> 00:06:22,466
or we could go check out my '93 Bronco
173
00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:24,034
and line up some super lethal kush.
174
00:06:24,102 --> 00:06:26,504
Yeah, I don't know,
my friend's about to, like,
175
00:06:26,569 --> 00:06:28,471
put on a clown nose over there.
176
00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,543
But a real OJ-style Bronco
at a '90s-themed party?
177
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:36,648
I mean, it would be
a shame not to at least see it.
178
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,085
I mean, how could my mom not
think I'm successful?
179
00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:44,088
It's like,
I run my own (bleep) business.
180
00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,857
But she never got me, you know?
181
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:49,894
I wish she was more like Shana,
who was my dad's girlfriend.
182
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,362
She was so badass.
183
00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:53,431
Not like Barry, my stepdad, who, like,
184
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:58,069
went to the basement and played
with his ham radio.
185
00:06:58,136 --> 00:07:02,273
You know, Shana and I had,
like, matching 8-ball jackets.
186
00:07:03,942 --> 00:07:05,477
Shana was cool.
187
00:07:05,543 --> 00:07:06,877
- She...
- (door slamming)
188
00:07:09,614 --> 00:07:11,282
Dear Sally,
189
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,183
looks like it's not gonna work
out between me
190
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,818
and the hot Bronco girl.
191
00:07:14,884 --> 00:07:17,454
(dance music playing)
192
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,456
Have you seen that DJ?
193
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,326
I'm gonna ride him like
the front bike in my spin class.
194
00:07:23,661 --> 00:07:25,528
Damn it, Jordan.
195
00:07:25,595 --> 00:07:28,567
God, I knew she was gonna do this.
196
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,735
Damn.
197
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:37,175
I would give anything to go back
and get that 8-ball jacket.
198
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,478
That'd be so cool, right?
The '90s were pretty dope.
199
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,014
Man, I wish I could go back to the '90s.
200
00:07:43,079 --> 00:07:45,216
(crashing)
201
00:07:47,451 --> 00:07:49,588
(chimes tinkling)
202
00:07:54,124 --> 00:07:55,927
Hey now you're an all-star
203
00:07:55,994 --> 00:07:57,061
Get your game on
204
00:07:57,127 --> 00:07:58,629
Go play
205
00:07:58,696 --> 00:08:00,699
Hey now you're a rock star...
206
00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:04,701
Where is everybody?
207
00:08:04,769 --> 00:08:06,870
How far away did this girl park?
208
00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:11,643
Oh, my God...
209
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:16,281
I'm back in the '90s.
210
00:08:21,385 --> 00:08:24,356
Ooh, get two Jen?es. One on each bicep.
211
00:08:28,327 --> 00:08:30,395
(phone ringing)
212
00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:32,213
Oh, my God, Paige, I can't
believe this call went through.
213
00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,770
- That's amazing.
- Jordan, where the hell are you?
214
00:08:34,795 --> 00:08:36,387
Paige, I... I don't know
how to tell you this,
215
00:08:36,412 --> 00:08:38,303
but somehow, I've...
216
00:08:38,370 --> 00:08:40,580
I've traveled back in time to the '90s.
217
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:41,840
- You what?
- I don't even know
218
00:08:41,907 --> 00:08:43,046
how long this call is gonna last.
219
00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:46,010
It must be some sort of ripple
in space-time, or just, like,
220
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,645
a really advanced feature
on the new iPhone.
221
00:08:47,713 --> 00:08:49,147
Jordan, you always do this.
222
00:08:49,214 --> 00:08:50,849
Every time you get high,
you disappear for an hour
223
00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:52,050
because you say you saw someone
224
00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:53,830
who looks like the genie from "Aladdin."
225
00:08:53,855 --> 00:08:55,611
No, Paige, if you could see
what I'm seeing, it's crazy.
226
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,611
There's a payphone.
The receiver isn't even torn off.
227
00:08:58,691 --> 00:09:01,593
Paige, Mario Lopez is on TV, okay?
228
00:09:01,659 --> 00:09:03,928
He looks exactly
like he did in the '90s.
229
00:09:03,995 --> 00:09:06,499
There's no other explanation.
I've... I've traveled in time.
230
00:09:07,444 --> 00:09:09,500
Oh, my God, Jordan,
I cannot do this on my own.
231
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:10,936
He's my Mr. Big!
232
00:09:11,003 --> 00:09:12,437
Okay, hey, I can be there for you.
233
00:09:12,504 --> 00:09:15,441
All I have to do is live out
the next 20 years.
234
00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:18,142
And then go to that party.
235
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,612
So get ready, because I'm about
to walk through that door
236
00:09:20,678 --> 00:09:23,615
20 years older, right about...
237
00:09:25,249 --> 00:09:27,086
Now.
238
00:09:27,152 --> 00:09:28,520
Am I still hot?
239
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,586
You didn't walk in.
240
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:31,555
Oh, my God, that means...
241
00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:32,991
That means I die.
242
00:09:33,057 --> 00:09:35,326
That means I die
before I can go to the party.
243
00:09:35,394 --> 00:09:37,128
Look at a photo of me.
Am I disappearing?
244
00:09:37,195 --> 00:09:38,530
I'm hanging up now.
245
00:09:38,596 --> 00:09:40,264
No, no, no, no, Paige!
246
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,533
I love you and there's $500, okay?
247
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,004
It's in your sock drawer
where I keep my vibrator.
248
00:09:47,371 --> 00:09:49,374
God damn it!
249
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,010
If you wanna be my lover
250
00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:55,112
You gotta get with my friends
251
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:59,784
Make it last forever
'cause friendship never ends
252
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,452
If you wanna be my lover...
253
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,389
Time to summon the fun lord.
254
00:10:04,456 --> 00:10:05,490
Fun Lord.
255
00:10:05,557 --> 00:10:07,625
Said hey
256
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:11,095
Baby I got your money
don't you worry
257
00:10:11,162 --> 00:10:12,397
Said hey
258
00:10:12,464 --> 00:10:13,966
Baby I got your money...
259
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
Oh!
260
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:17,969
Jesus, Paige!
261
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:20,205
You just hit me in the left tit!
262
00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:21,505
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
263
00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:22,773
I was blindfolded.
264
00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:24,775
No, we didn't...
We didn't even spin you.
265
00:10:24,842 --> 00:10:26,812
And look at my pot-?ata!
You've ruined it!
266
00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:28,580
How is anyone gonna smoke that weed?
267
00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:29,881
It's soaking wet.
268
00:10:29,947 --> 00:10:32,418
And I am not paying for that.
269
00:10:35,253 --> 00:10:36,988
Okay, that...
270
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,457
That was the best thing
that I have seen all night.
271
00:10:39,524 --> 00:10:40,826
The best.
272
00:10:40,893 --> 00:10:42,894
Looks like I needed to be
more humiliated.
273
00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:48,667
No, no, I'm not being sarcastic,
look, it was truly funny.
274
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:51,336
I think you had the courage to
do what we all were thinking.
275
00:10:51,403 --> 00:10:52,704
So...
276
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,371
Can I get you a drink?
277
00:10:54,438 --> 00:10:58,043
A Jen?e-arita, or a Jen?e-ito?
278
00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,043
No, no.
279
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:00,479
Maybe a left tit and tonic.
280
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:04,049
How about a tit-quila sunrise?
281
00:11:04,115 --> 00:11:05,616
There you go.
282
00:11:05,683 --> 00:11:07,584
Time travel log.
283
00:11:07,652 --> 00:11:10,187
The question is, how do I get back?
284
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,624
I don't have a DeLorean.
285
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:13,793
But there's some reason I was sent here,
286
00:11:13,859 --> 00:11:16,360
and only by fixing something in the past
287
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,564
will I be able to return to the present.
288
00:11:27,071 --> 00:11:29,774
Whoa!
289
00:11:29,841 --> 00:11:31,775
Shana had these boots, too.
290
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:33,577
Man, you guys have everything.
291
00:11:33,644 --> 00:11:35,514
Hey, don't get rid of any of this, okay?
292
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:38,216
It is all coming back.
293
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:40,919
I remember this one time,
Shana took my friend and I
294
00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:42,687
to see a Slayer concert... I mean, like,
295
00:11:42,754 --> 00:11:45,057
we were too young to get in,
but she went in anyway,
296
00:11:45,124 --> 00:11:47,392
so we hung out in the parking lot
297
00:11:47,459 --> 00:11:48,794
with these cool scalpers.
298
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:50,394
Shana didn't play by the rules.
299
00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:51,896
Shana didn't care.
300
00:11:51,964 --> 00:11:53,898
Shana was...
301
00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:55,334
A whore.
302
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,600
Oh, my God!
303
00:11:56,668 --> 00:11:58,803
No wonder my mom hated her so much.
304
00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:01,572
My dad left her for some skank
305
00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:04,643
who left me alone
in a stadium parking lot?
306
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:08,180
My poor mother.
307
00:12:08,245 --> 00:12:10,982
Okay, wait for it...
308
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:12,216
No, wait.
309
00:12:12,283 --> 00:12:13,718
Ta-da!
310
00:12:13,784 --> 00:12:15,687
Get the (bleep) out.
311
00:12:15,754 --> 00:12:17,321
No way. How did you do this?
312
00:12:17,389 --> 00:12:19,825
When I was in middle school,
I got Jack in the Box E. coli
313
00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:21,927
and pretty much stayed home
for two weeks
314
00:12:21,994 --> 00:12:25,797
and just watched music videos
and practiced origami and I...
315
00:12:25,864 --> 00:12:28,133
Wow, I've never said that out loud
316
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,134
to another human before.
317
00:12:30,201 --> 00:12:31,503
That's so embarrassing.
318
00:12:31,568 --> 00:12:33,038
I think it's adorable.
319
00:12:34,306 --> 00:12:36,108
I think you're adorable.
320
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:39,610
Okay, uh, I'm gonna spoil you.
321
00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:40,611
I'm gonna go get you a Zima.
322
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,580
- Ooh.
- Oh, I know.
323
00:12:42,647 --> 00:12:44,182
Don't go anywhere.
324
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,822
Hey, sweet pea.
325
00:12:52,224 --> 00:12:54,392
Oh, hey.
326
00:12:54,459 --> 00:12:55,894
Uh, hey.
327
00:12:55,961 --> 00:12:57,595
I'm sorry I didn't come
say hello before.
328
00:12:57,662 --> 00:12:59,163
Jen?e's got me working my ass off.
329
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:03,302
She's gone birthday-zilla
on me tonight, you know?
330
00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:04,837
But, you look amazing.
331
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:06,403
It's good to see you.
332
00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:08,306
- Thanks.
- Who's that guy you're here with?
333
00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:10,053
What is he, a date?
Somebody you're seeing?
334
00:13:10,108 --> 00:13:12,911
- Oh, n... No, no, we just met.
- Good.
335
00:13:12,977 --> 00:13:14,712
'Cause when I agreed
to come here tonight,
336
00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:16,682
the only thing I could think
about was seeing you here.
337
00:13:16,748 --> 00:13:19,884
The truth is, you're all I think about.
338
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:22,855
You ever think about me?
339
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,558
Everything's been so crazy with me.
340
00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:30,696
It's like all the attention,
people wanting things from me.
341
00:13:30,762 --> 00:13:32,431
But you...
342
00:13:32,496 --> 00:13:34,832
You're the only one who knows
who I really am.
343
00:13:34,899 --> 00:13:37,034
You've always been the one, Paige.
344
00:13:37,101 --> 00:13:39,103
I miss you.
345
00:13:39,171 --> 00:13:40,706
I need you.
346
00:13:40,772 --> 00:13:42,908
(dance music playing)
347
00:13:47,446 --> 00:13:50,382
348
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,721
I'm the fear addicted
349
00:13:57,788 --> 00:14:00,192
The danger illustrated...
350
00:14:00,258 --> 00:14:01,893
You're amazing, Paige.
351
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,429
I was lost without you.
352
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,831
You're my muse.
353
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:14,105
No doubt man
354
00:14:17,408 --> 00:14:18,876
Check it out man
355
00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:23,682
So...
356
00:14:23,748 --> 00:14:24,917
Still want the Zima?
357
00:14:26,118 --> 00:14:28,787
I actually am quite parched.
358
00:14:33,259 --> 00:14:35,728
Um, hey, Jordan, I don't know
where you are right now
359
00:14:35,794 --> 00:14:37,779
and you're probably
not gonna believe this,
360
00:14:37,804 --> 00:14:41,366
but I think I just got back
together with Soft Serve.
361
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:44,217
Um, he says he can't stop
thinking about me,
362
00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:45,378
and he needs me,
363
00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,383
and I'm probably not gonna sleep
at home tonight,
364
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,476
so just wanted to let you know.
365
00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:52,146
Yeah, call me when you get this, bye.
366
00:14:53,914 --> 00:14:56,050
(sobbing)
367
00:14:58,619 --> 00:15:02,352
Hey. Are you okay?
368
00:15:02,377 --> 00:15:04,093
My ex is in there.
369
00:15:05,294 --> 00:15:08,597
I thought I was over him, but...
370
00:15:08,664 --> 00:15:11,566
I know, it's the worst.
371
00:15:11,632 --> 00:15:14,002
He's just so hot.
372
00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:17,338
He's this famous graffiti artist
373
00:15:17,405 --> 00:15:19,040
and he's DJing the party.
374
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:23,611
How long have you guys been dating?
375
00:15:23,678 --> 00:15:25,581
All last year.
376
00:15:25,646 --> 00:15:27,482
It was really serious.
377
00:15:27,549 --> 00:15:30,117
I mean, we almost got engaged.
378
00:15:30,185 --> 00:15:33,888
You know, he told me that I was
the only one who really got him.
379
00:15:34,957 --> 00:15:36,157
You know, that...
380
00:15:36,223 --> 00:15:38,193
he needed me and that I was...
381
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:39,395
His muse.
382
00:15:44,598 --> 00:15:46,435
I can't believe I fell for that again.
383
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:56,578
(phone line ringing)
384
00:15:56,645 --> 00:15:58,430
(Jordan's Mom)
Leave your number after the beep.
385
00:15:58,455 --> 00:16:00,953
You don't have to worry,
I'll get back to you in a hurry.
386
00:16:00,978 --> 00:16:02,031
(beeping)
387
00:16:02,056 --> 00:16:03,984
Hey, Mom, it's Jordan.
388
00:16:04,051 --> 00:16:07,521
I guess it's probably weird to
hear my voice all grown up, um...
389
00:16:07,589 --> 00:16:12,928
Anyway, I'm just calling to tell
you that I finally get it.
390
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,663
Like, I understand how hard
it must have been to raise
391
00:16:15,731 --> 00:16:18,233
a stubborn, opinionated daughter,
392
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,633
basically on your own.
393
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:23,370
I realize now that...
394
00:16:23,438 --> 00:16:26,842
you are the woman I should have
been looking up to.
395
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:32,013
So I... I guess I'm just
calling to say thank you.
396
00:16:33,747 --> 00:16:36,517
And I'm sorry.
397
00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:38,353
And I love you.
398
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:41,823
And just promise me that
399
00:16:41,890 --> 00:16:43,558
you won't let me get that perm
400
00:16:43,624 --> 00:16:45,359
my sophomore year, 'cause I just...
401
00:16:45,426 --> 00:16:47,437
I just feel like we don't need
to give Rodney Bodine
402
00:16:47,462 --> 00:16:50,064
any more ammunition
to make fun of me, so...
403
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:57,171
(dance music playing)
404
00:16:59,072 --> 00:17:00,708
Babe, what the hell?
405
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,844
- (music shuts off)
- Shut up... Dennis!
406
00:17:04,046 --> 00:17:05,913
You know, I thought we had
something special,
407
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,682
and I have spent so long
408
00:17:07,749 --> 00:17:10,785
trying to figure out what I did
wrong to push you away.
409
00:17:10,851 --> 00:17:12,986
But you know what?
I didn't do anything wrong.
410
00:17:13,053 --> 00:17:14,421
You're just an asshole,
411
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:17,992
and I cannot believe
I wasted so much time on you.
412
00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:20,662
'Cause you know what?
You're not my fun lord.
413
00:17:20,729 --> 00:17:22,530
You're not my anything lord.
414
00:17:22,597 --> 00:17:24,266
You're nothing.
415
00:17:29,736 --> 00:17:31,873
("No Scrubs" by TLC playing)
416
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:37,145
A scrub is a guy
that think he's fine and is
417
00:17:37,212 --> 00:17:39,646
Also known as a buster
418
00:17:39,714 --> 00:17:41,983
Always talking about what he wants
419
00:17:42,050 --> 00:17:44,519
And just sits on his broke ass
420
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:47,322
So no I don't want your number
421
00:17:47,388 --> 00:17:49,790
No I don't want to give you mine and
422
00:17:49,858 --> 00:17:52,460
No I don't want to meet you nowhere
423
00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:55,130
No don't want none of your time
424
00:17:55,195 --> 00:17:57,432
No I don't want no scrub
425
00:17:57,499 --> 00:18:00,669
A scrub is a guy that
can't get no love from me
426
00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:02,837
Hanging out the passenger side
427
00:18:02,904 --> 00:18:04,064
Of his best friend's ride
428
00:18:04,105 --> 00:18:06,074
Trying to holler at me
429
00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:07,808
I don't want no scrub
430
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:11,279
A scrub is a guy that
can't get no love from me
431
00:18:11,346 --> 00:18:12,914
Hanging out the passenger side
432
00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:14,382
Of his best friend's ride
433
00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:16,450
Trying to holler at me
434
00:18:16,518 --> 00:18:18,453
(song continues)
435
00:18:24,559 --> 00:18:26,493
(microphone feedback)
436
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,030
437
00:18:28,096 --> 00:18:29,329
I don't get it.
438
00:18:29,396 --> 00:18:31,499
What else do I have to fix to go back?
439
00:18:31,566 --> 00:18:33,569
Tell everybody not to worry about Y2K?
440
00:18:33,635 --> 00:18:36,504
Warn women to stay away from Bill Cosby?
441
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:38,506
(spray paint hissing)
442
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:41,742
Hey!
443
00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:43,110
Listen.
444
00:18:43,177 --> 00:18:45,713
When you grow up, I want you
to stay the hell away
445
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:47,048
from my best friend Paige,
446
00:18:47,115 --> 00:18:49,284
because she deserves
way better than you.
447
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:51,385
Understand me, you little shit?
448
00:18:51,452 --> 00:18:52,554
Beat it!
449
00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:05,367
Well, my work here is done.
450
00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:06,568
Time to go home.
451
00:19:11,173 --> 00:19:12,473
- Time...
- (chimes tinkling)
452
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,944
Time to go home.
453
00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:16,971
Ooh...
454
00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:24,485
- Jordan?
- Paige!
455
00:19:24,551 --> 00:19:26,021
I did it!
456
00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,455
I'm back!
457
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:30,559
Paige...
458
00:19:36,831 --> 00:19:38,633
So, the '90s.
459
00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:40,299
Yeah.
460
00:19:41,303 --> 00:19:44,072
I bet if we dry this out tomorrow,
we can still smoke most of it.
461
00:19:44,097 --> 00:19:45,932
Sounds like an ideal Sunday.
462
00:19:45,999 --> 00:19:50,069
Hey, I'm sorry I left you alone
to deal with Soft Serve.
463
00:19:50,136 --> 00:19:52,138
Who's Soft Serve?
464
00:19:54,941 --> 00:19:57,111
Holy shit!
465
00:19:57,176 --> 00:19:58,745
I did it.
466
00:19:58,811 --> 00:20:00,713
I changed the future.
467
00:20:00,737 --> 00:20:04,091
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
468
00:20:04,116 --> 00:20:06,313
469
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,055
Uhh
470
00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:09,456
Uh-huh yeah
471
00:20:09,521 --> 00:20:11,692
It's all about the Benjamins baby
472
00:20:11,758 --> 00:20:13,625
Uhh
473
00:20:13,693 --> 00:20:15,395
Uh-huh now
474
00:20:15,462 --> 00:20:16,696
What y'all wanna do?
475
00:20:16,763 --> 00:20:18,264
Wanna be ballers?
476
00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:20,299
Shot-callers brawlers
477
00:20:20,366 --> 00:20:23,068
Who be dipping in the Benz
with the spoilers
478
00:20:23,135 --> 00:20:25,638
-
It's all about the Benjamins baby
-
Uh-huh yeah
479
00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:28,008
-
It's all about the Benjamins baby
-
Yeah
480
00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:30,744
-
It's all about the Benjamins baby
-
Yeah yeah yeah
481
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:35,344
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