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1
00:00:00,171 --> 00:00:01,204
[alarm blaring]
2
00:00:01,205 --> 00:00:04,973
Sometimes my highly tuned
Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble.
3
00:00:04,975 --> 00:00:06,809
And sometimes I just hear
a really loud alarm.
4
00:00:06,811 --> 00:00:09,511
[alarm continues blaring]
5
00:00:09,513 --> 00:00:12,247
Don't worry, folks.
Gonna check on that pesky noise
6
00:00:12,249 --> 00:00:14,516
so you can get back to your
fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony.
7
00:00:16,252 --> 00:00:18,765
Whoa.
That's a seriously big hole.
8
00:00:18,766 --> 00:00:21,590
Okay, Spidey.
[web-shooters discharging]
9
00:00:21,592 --> 00:00:24,827
Looks like you're about
to take on a whole army of...
10
00:00:24,829 --> 00:00:27,329
one bald guy?
11
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,631
[alarm stops] You do all
this damage yourself, shiny?
12
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:32,768
Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh?
13
00:00:32,770 --> 00:00:36,308
[Spider-Man] It doesn't add up.
You're a big guy,
14
00:00:36,343 --> 00:00:39,174
but that wall looks
like it was hit by a wrecking ball.
15
00:00:39,176 --> 00:00:42,211
And there it is.
Man, can I call 'em or what?
16
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:43,512
I should have
my own detective show.
17
00:00:43,514 --> 00:00:46,615
People call me the Absorbing Man.
18
00:00:46,617 --> 00:00:48,851
'Cause you have paper towel powers?
19
00:00:48,853 --> 00:00:52,421
Because I can absorb anything.
20
00:00:53,323 --> 00:00:55,057
[grunts]
21
00:00:55,059 --> 00:00:57,626
[grunts] Right.
Just like paper towels can.
22
00:00:57,628 --> 00:01:00,662
You sure you don't wanna go with
"Paper Towel Man"? [groans]
23
00:01:00,664 --> 00:01:03,532
I promise you no other bad guys
are using that name. [grunts]
24
00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:05,167
[grunting]
25
00:01:05,169 --> 00:01:06,301
[grunting]
26
00:01:09,138 --> 00:01:13,475
Insult me all you want.
I have thick skin.
27
00:01:13,477 --> 00:01:15,344
Or, better yet,
28
00:01:15,346 --> 00:01:17,846
sharp skin.
29
00:01:17,848 --> 00:01:20,249
Uh-oh.
30
00:01:20,251 --> 00:01:21,583
[grunts]
31
00:01:23,253 --> 00:01:25,554
[grunts, groans]
32
00:01:27,557 --> 00:01:30,492
Talk about being stuck
between a rock and a hard face!
33
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:36,057
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
34
00:01:41,886 --> 00:01:43,335
[grunts]
35
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,340
[grunts]
36
00:01:45,342 --> 00:01:46,942
[both grunt]
37
00:01:46,944 --> 00:01:50,512
So, you become
what you touch, huh?
38
00:01:50,514 --> 00:01:52,214
[car alarm blaring]
39
00:01:52,216 --> 00:01:54,149
[car alarm honking]
[car alarm blaring]
40
00:01:55,885 --> 00:01:57,252
[grunts]
41
00:01:58,187 --> 00:02:00,689
[grunts, yells]
42
00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:03,425
Let's see what happens
when you can't touch anything.
43
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,394
Hmm?
Now, what do we have here?
44
00:02:05,396 --> 00:02:10,032
- Your vacation photos?
- Hey, gang! Screwball here!
45
00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:12,601
- Screwball?
- With another fun fact.
46
00:02:12,603 --> 00:02:15,855
It's hard for a CEO to cut
the ribbon on his polluting
47
00:02:15,856 --> 00:02:19,107
power plant headquarters if
he doesn't have the ribbon!
48
00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:21,877
Let this be a lesson
to all you corporate shills.
49
00:02:21,879 --> 00:02:24,413
You never know when
you'll be surprised by...
50
00:02:24,415 --> 00:02:26,548
[grunts]
Spider-Man?
51
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,451
Mmm. [yells]
Metal.
52
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:30,719
[grunting]
53
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:33,255
[screaming]
54
00:02:33,257 --> 00:02:35,490
You might want to look [grunts]
both ways next time.
55
00:02:35,492 --> 00:02:38,627
And you might not wanna
stand there this time.
56
00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:40,595
Sorry, Spider-Man.
57
00:02:40,597 --> 00:02:42,931
I expected those business goons
to chase me.
58
00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:45,734
[grunts, laughs]
59
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:49,104
- Great.
- Smile, Spider-Man.
60
00:02:49,106 --> 00:02:50,439
[Screwball's voice]
61
00:02:50,441 --> 00:02:52,274
[laughing]
62
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:55,677
Pete, you have got to watch
the new Screwball video.
63
00:02:55,679 --> 00:02:58,747
Not right now, Harry.
I'm working on something.
64
00:02:58,749 --> 00:03:00,349
[click]
65
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:05,120
[beeping] Pretty heavy
security for vacation photos.
66
00:03:05,122 --> 00:03:08,590
Check it out. She totally
messes with Spider-Man.
67
00:03:08,592 --> 00:03:11,876
- It's hilarious.
- Is it? 'Cause thanks
68
00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:13,829
to this Screwball character,
Spider-Man lost a bad guy.
69
00:03:13,831 --> 00:03:17,499
Oh, please! Spider-Man
needs to be taken down a peg.
70
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,801
[chuckles]
This Screwball's my new hero.
71
00:03:19,803 --> 00:03:22,337
She's not a hero, Harry.
72
00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:24,439
Heroes have power
and responsibility.
73
00:03:24,441 --> 00:03:26,208
Screwball doesn't have either.
74
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:29,945
Oh, she has power, all right.
The power of the Internet.
75
00:03:29,947 --> 00:03:31,947
This video's
only been up a few hours,
76
00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:34,716
and it already has hundreds
of thousands of views.
77
00:03:34,718 --> 00:03:38,462
- Views aren't power.
- They're not? Look around.
78
00:03:38,497 --> 00:03:40,789
- You've been Screwballed!
- Must be a slow news day.
79
00:03:40,791 --> 00:03:42,290
[laughing] Come on!
80
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:44,659
- What's so funny?
- Oh, hey, Liz.
81
00:03:44,661 --> 00:03:47,162
Just watching Screwball's
latest post. Have you seen it?
82
00:03:47,164 --> 00:03:50,864
Uh, no, not yet. What are
people saying? Do they like it?
83
00:03:50,899 --> 00:03:54,503
Oh, yeah. It's by far her best.
It has Spider-Man in it.
84
00:03:54,505 --> 00:03:56,471
And that's the only reason
people care about it.
85
00:03:56,473 --> 00:04:00,509
People care because Screwball takes
on corruption with cool pranks,
86
00:04:00,511 --> 00:04:04,076
- not because it has Spider-Man in it.
- Really? Then why
87
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,716
does this video have four times
as many views as all her others?
88
00:04:07,718 --> 00:04:10,255
It does?
89
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:14,556
Well, if involving Spider-Man
brings more attention to my causes,
90
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:18,638
then Spider-Man is exactly
what my viewers are gonna get.
91
00:04:18,673 --> 00:04:20,162
[beeps]
92
00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:24,499
Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's
brand-new Spidey segment.
93
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,569
At least once a week, I'll be
making a video about Spider-Man.
94
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,604
So sound off in the
comments, and let me know
95
00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:31,373
what you think of the old webhead.
96
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,276
- You've been Screwballed!
- Agh!
97
00:04:34,278 --> 00:04:37,579
- Where is it?
- Where's what?
98
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:40,282
I told you to grab
everything in the safe.
99
00:04:40,284 --> 00:04:44,687
- And I did.
- I don't care about diamonds.
100
00:04:44,688 --> 00:04:46,288
I wanted the flash drive!
101
00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:49,524
[chuckling] Oh, that.
Spider-Man got it.
102
00:04:49,526 --> 00:04:53,895
You imbecile.
That store is a front for The Owl,
103
00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:57,566
who was blackmailing me with
the information on that drive!
104
00:04:57,568 --> 00:05:01,933
- Why didn't you tell me all this?
- Because I wanted
105
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,706
to keep it simple enough to
absorb through your thick skull!
106
00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:08,610
The only reason I hired you was
so he wouldn't trace it to me!
107
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:12,586
- And stop eating my chips!
- I'm not!
108
00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:15,750
[yells]
Busted.
109
00:05:15,752 --> 00:05:19,654
That drive has enough dirt on it
to put me away forever,
110
00:05:19,656 --> 00:05:22,324
and now Spider-Man has it.
111
00:05:22,326 --> 00:05:24,559
You get it back,
and keep my name out of it,
112
00:05:24,561 --> 00:05:28,096
- or so help me... [grunts]
- Ow!
113
00:05:28,098 --> 00:05:32,000
...there won't be enough of
you left to scoop up salsa!
114
00:05:33,336 --> 00:05:36,304
That's not funny.
115
00:05:36,306 --> 00:05:39,074
Spider-Man should leave the
crime-fighting to the police...
116
00:05:39,076 --> 00:05:43,745
[laughter] but keep being
part of those hilarious videos.
117
00:05:43,747 --> 00:05:47,149
Leave Spider-Man alone.
Spider-Man rules!
118
00:05:47,151 --> 00:05:50,652
Which is also the name
of my Spider-Man fan page.
119
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:54,456
Spider-Man's a menace.
I had to look that word up.
120
00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:58,160
But once I did, I agreed.
A menace!
121
00:05:58,162 --> 00:06:00,676
- What are you doing?!
- Gotta go.
122
00:06:01,130 --> 00:06:03,198
- Hey, Liz.
- Hey, Randy.
123
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,201
Can we move our study group to...
Oh, come on!
124
00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:08,270
Don't tell me you're
a Screwball fan too.
125
00:06:08,272 --> 00:06:10,839
Why wouldn't I be?
She's great.
126
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:13,642
She's everything that's wrong
with the Internet.
127
00:06:13,644 --> 00:06:17,445
If she really wanted to make a difference,
she'd do something legitimate.
128
00:06:17,447 --> 00:06:21,280
- Like your boring blog?
- Exactly! I mean...
129
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:24,185
It's not boring.
In fact,
130
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,787
you know that power company
she pranked last week?
131
00:06:25,789 --> 00:06:28,690
It was one of a dozen businesses
bought up on the same day
132
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,659
by the same anonymous corporation.
133
00:06:30,661 --> 00:06:33,862
I haven't cracked who it is yet, but my gut
tells me the Mob's behind it.
134
00:06:33,864 --> 00:06:35,664
They have...
You know what?
135
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,832
I'll just send you my story.
It's only 35 pages.
136
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:41,036
I'm good, thanks. I just
think you're jealous because
137
00:06:41,037 --> 00:06:44,239
Screwball gets a ton of hits,
and your blog only has... three.
138
00:06:44,241 --> 00:06:47,642
So what? Screwball's
numbers are down too.
139
00:06:47,644 --> 00:06:50,412
Without new footage of
Spider-Man, she's nothing.
140
00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:54,249
Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard.
Probably.
141
00:06:54,251 --> 00:06:56,251
Oh, I have to go.
142
00:06:56,253 --> 00:06:59,321
My dad's speaking a the
groundbreaking ceremony for
143
00:06:59,322 --> 00:07:02,390
the city's new media building
today. Now, he's a real journalist.
144
00:07:02,392 --> 00:07:05,594
In fact, every major news
outlet's gonna be there,
145
00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:08,997
including my blog,
thank you very much.
146
00:07:08,999 --> 00:07:12,687
Every major outlet, huh?
147
00:07:16,772 --> 00:07:19,574
[chattering]
148
00:07:24,714 --> 00:07:26,715
Thanks for coming out
to support my dad, guys.
149
00:07:26,717 --> 00:07:29,117
I didn't even know
you knew about this event.
150
00:07:29,119 --> 00:07:31,953
Oh, thi... [chuckling]
Of course we did.
151
00:07:31,955 --> 00:07:34,857
And it has nothing to do with
the fact that we were across
152
00:07:34,858 --> 00:07:37,759
- the street having lunch.
- Don't let him fool you, Randy.
153
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,148
It's just nice to do something
154
00:07:39,149 --> 00:07:41,229
that doesn't involve our
competing schools for a change.
155
00:07:41,231 --> 00:07:45,734
Well, technically, my dad is
lending them an Oscorp worker bot.
156
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:48,570
[Peter] I should've known.
157
00:07:48,572 --> 00:07:52,207
Well, maybe you can use a Horizon
High pen to write the story.
158
00:07:52,209 --> 00:07:54,943
[laughter]
[Robertson over mic] Thank you, everyone.
159
00:07:54,945 --> 00:07:58,446
Before we break ground,
I'd like to say a few words,
160
00:07:58,448 --> 00:08:00,915
and though my editor
won't believe me,
161
00:08:00,917 --> 00:08:03,118
I promise it'll only be a few.
162
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,819
[laughter]
People always ask
163
00:08:04,821 --> 00:08:07,422
if I have any advice
for the next generation.
164
00:08:07,424 --> 00:08:12,127
If I do, it's this:
value your story.
165
00:08:12,129 --> 00:08:16,131
Nowadays, anyone anywhere can
have an audience of millions.
166
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:21,069
But being seen by those people
isn't the same as reaching them.
167
00:08:21,071 --> 00:08:24,005
A real writer doesn't care
about getting likes,
168
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:26,007
they care about making a difference,
169
00:08:26,009 --> 00:08:29,744
whether it's for 100,000 people
or just one.
170
00:08:29,746 --> 00:08:33,014
[cheering] And now, let's
put this big guy to work
171
00:08:33,016 --> 00:08:36,318
and break some ground
on this new building.
172
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,322
What's it doing?
[grunts]
173
00:08:40,324 --> 00:08:42,390
I'm okay, son.
174
00:08:43,926 --> 00:08:46,161
You've just been Screwballed!
175
00:08:46,163 --> 00:08:48,163
[crowd] It's Screwball!
176
00:08:48,165 --> 00:08:51,299
- This is awful. She could've hurt my dad!
- I love your videos!
177
00:08:51,301 --> 00:08:54,302
Don't worry, Randy. Her pranks
look worse than they are.
178
00:08:54,304 --> 00:08:55,704
Right, Pete?
179
00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:57,772
Um... Pete?
180
00:08:57,774 --> 00:09:00,108
[sighs]
Typical Parker.
181
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:02,844
You took over the worker bot?
182
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:06,582
- Not cool, Screwball.
- Ha! Are you kidding?
183
00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:08,283
I'm just getting started.
184
00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:10,661
[humming]
[music]
185
00:09:11,787 --> 00:09:16,091
- Whoa! [yells]
- Screwball! No!
186
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,583
[screaming]
187
00:09:18,585 --> 00:09:20,719
Hold on!
[grunts]
188
00:09:20,721 --> 00:09:22,787
Thanks for the save,
Spider-Man. [beeps]
189
00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:27,609
[Spider-Man] What in...
A billboard?
190
00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:28,410
[crowd gasps]
191
00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:29,861
You're gonna answer for that one.
192
00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:33,531
A bungee cord?
[grunts]
193
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,700
[groaning in disgust]
194
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:37,702
And cut!
195
00:09:37,704 --> 00:09:40,972
Nice work, Spidey. I was
hoping for the banner plug,
196
00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:42,974
but the quick-drying cement
was an added bonus.
197
00:09:42,976 --> 00:09:46,111
[grunting]
And what if someone out there
198
00:09:46,113 --> 00:09:48,546
needed my help while I was
preoccupied here with you?
199
00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:52,317
Relax, Spidey.
This city is full of heroes.
200
00:09:52,319 --> 00:09:56,324
I can't help it if my viewers
wanna see us together.
201
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,922
[grunting]
202
00:09:57,924 --> 00:09:59,991
- Spidey, Spidey!
- Over here! Give us a smile.
203
00:09:59,993 --> 00:10:01,626
[groans]
Nice!
204
00:10:01,628 --> 00:10:03,662
You've been Screwballed!
[laughing]
205
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:11,836
Are you seriously still watching
stupid Internet videos?
206
00:10:11,838 --> 00:10:15,140
You're supposed to be getting
my drive back from Spider-Man!
207
00:10:15,142 --> 00:10:19,844
I tried. I broke into another
jewelry store to draw him out,
208
00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:22,847
but that Avenger Hawkeye
showed up instead.
209
00:10:22,849 --> 00:10:27,319
I don't want excuses!
I want you to find Spider-Man.
210
00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:30,622
Your little Internet friend here doesn't
seem to have any trouble finding him.
211
00:10:30,624 --> 00:10:35,960
- Maybe they're partners, like us.
- We are not partners!
212
00:10:35,962 --> 00:10:39,331
Although, that's not a bad idea.
213
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,534
Really? 'Cause I can move
my stuff in tomorrow.
214
00:10:42,536 --> 00:10:44,803
I'm talking about the girl.
215
00:10:44,805 --> 00:10:49,007
We get the girl,
we get Spider-Man.
216
00:10:49,009 --> 00:10:51,643
But how do we find him?
217
00:10:51,645 --> 00:10:57,549
Look, there's always something.
Always something they forget.
218
00:10:57,551 --> 00:11:00,352
"Midtown High School."
There!
219
00:11:00,354 --> 00:11:02,820
Now get on it!
220
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,990
You've just been Screwballed!
221
00:11:05,992 --> 00:11:08,226
[crowd laughing, chattering]
222
00:11:08,228 --> 00:11:10,495
Not a Screwball fan either, huh?
223
00:11:10,497 --> 00:11:12,831
- I thought I was the only one.
- No way.
224
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:16,534
The Internet is the most powerful
technology in human history,
225
00:11:16,536 --> 00:11:20,872
and we use it for prank videos.
Such a waste.
226
00:11:20,874 --> 00:11:24,309
- Hey, is that a school project?
- What? No.
227
00:11:24,311 --> 00:11:27,879
- I mean, yes.
- An asymmetric encryption key?
228
00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:30,715
Mind if I take a look?
229
00:11:30,717 --> 00:11:31,983
[beeping]
230
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:35,887
Whoa.
You don't see a lot of these.
231
00:11:35,889 --> 00:11:38,823
You know what this is?
Can you crack it?
232
00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:42,927
Are you kidding? This kind of
problem solving is my favorite.
233
00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,697
Here. I'll show you
what you're missing.
234
00:11:45,699 --> 00:11:48,633
[keyboard clacking] I think
what I was missing was you.
235
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,742
[boy] Aw. Flash, you're out.
236
00:11:57,744 --> 00:11:59,711
Bring me Screwball!
237
00:11:59,713 --> 00:12:01,246
[students gasping, murmuring]
238
00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:03,681
[boy] Hey, get outta here!
239
00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:06,284
You're out!
Get lost, freak!
240
00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:08,319
Now!
241
00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:12,624
[clamoring]
[music]
242
00:12:12,626 --> 00:12:16,094
Hey!
No one's going anywhere!
243
00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:19,063
[grunts]
[yells]
244
00:12:19,065 --> 00:12:22,400
Hey, one of you twerps
knows where she is.
245
00:12:22,402 --> 00:12:23,968
So tell me.
246
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:26,404
[Randy grunting]
Oh, no!
247
00:12:26,406 --> 00:12:29,641
Guess this isn't just
about me anymore.
248
00:12:29,643 --> 00:12:32,677
But maybe I can do
something from here.
249
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:36,414
[beeps]
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
250
00:12:36,416 --> 00:12:38,416
Got it!
I broke the encryption.
251
00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:40,418
And we have...
252
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:43,321
a bunch of files
with scrambled titles,
253
00:12:43,323 --> 00:12:46,324
all connected to... Hammerhead?
254
00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:49,093
Isn't he a gangster?
255
00:12:49,095 --> 00:12:52,464
He is. But what do those
scrambled titles mean?
256
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:55,266
I don't know, but there
are a dozen of these files.
257
00:12:55,268 --> 00:12:57,302
[phone humming]
258
00:12:57,304 --> 00:13:01,139
[beeps] Anya says we need to
check out the new Screwball video.
259
00:13:01,141 --> 00:13:05,222
She knows I'm not a fan,
so this should be interesting.
260
00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,780
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
261
00:13:08,782 --> 00:13:11,583
I need you to come to Midtown
High right away. I'm in trouble.
262
00:13:11,585 --> 00:13:13,818
I hope Spider-Man is watching this.
263
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:16,154
[sighs] It's probably
just another prank.
264
00:13:16,156 --> 00:13:19,457
That girl will do
anything for attention.
265
00:13:19,459 --> 00:13:21,993
I'm getting impatient.
266
00:13:21,995 --> 00:13:24,996
Hi. Randy Robertson,
freelance journalist.
267
00:13:24,998 --> 00:13:29,033
What do you want with Screwball...
[grunts] exactly?
268
00:13:29,035 --> 00:13:31,135
Stop stalling!
269
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:34,205
If Screwball doesn't show
herself in ten seconds,
270
00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:36,841
this guy's gonna be toast.
271
00:13:36,843 --> 00:13:38,443
- Come on, Spidey. Where are you?
- Ten.
272
00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:41,045
- Is it possible he's not coming?
- Nine. Eight.
273
00:13:41,047 --> 00:13:44,782
- Did I prank him one too many times?
- Seven. Six.
274
00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:48,019
- [sighs] Okay. I don't need Spider-Man.
- Five. Four.
275
00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:50,889
- I'm Screwball. I'm just as good as him, right?
- Three. Two.
276
00:13:50,891 --> 00:13:52,991
- Better, even.
- One.
277
00:13:52,993 --> 00:13:56,628
Let him go!
278
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,220
You're about to be Screwballed!
279
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,901
[both grunting]
280
00:14:02,903 --> 00:14:05,169
[laughing]
Huh?
281
00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:08,172
Did you really think
you were a superhero?
282
00:14:08,174 --> 00:14:12,143
And did you really think
you could pull off that tank top?
283
00:14:12,145 --> 00:14:14,979
Spider-Man! [grunts]
You came!
284
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:17,315
I was worried you thought
my video was a prank.
285
00:14:17,317 --> 00:14:19,817
To be honest,
I was wondering if it might be.
286
00:14:19,819 --> 00:14:22,153
But that's the thing
about being a hero.
287
00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:23,888
You don't get to wonder.
288
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:28,640
Webs! I don't know why [yells]
I didn't do this earlier.
289
00:14:28,741 --> 00:14:30,590
[grunting]
290
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,697
Smothered by webs?
291
00:14:32,699 --> 00:14:35,500
Is this irony?
Feels like irony.
292
00:14:35,502 --> 00:14:39,451
Also feels like a good time to
use my web dissolvent. [beeping]
293
00:14:39,605 --> 00:14:41,173
[screaming]
294
00:14:41,175 --> 00:14:43,708
That wasn't nice!
295
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,611
Nice? Now you're worried
about being nice?
296
00:14:46,613 --> 00:14:48,747
[grunts]
297
00:14:52,718 --> 00:14:54,452
[grunts]
Aahh!
298
00:14:54,454 --> 00:14:57,789
Just give me the flash drive,
and I'll let them go!
299
00:14:57,791 --> 00:15:00,859
The flash drive!
That's what this is about?!
300
00:15:00,861 --> 00:15:03,328
I don't have it on me.
Do you see pockets?
301
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:05,830
Fine, then.
302
00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:10,235
Meet me at the new media
building construction site.
303
00:15:10,237 --> 00:15:13,506
Be there in an hour, or you'll find
304
00:15:13,507 --> 00:15:16,775
a couple of concrete
teens waiting for ya.
305
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:20,116
Get to safety!
306
00:15:21,847 --> 00:15:25,750
Just a sec. This is gonna get
so many likes. [shutter clicks]
307
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:26,952
[chuckles]
308
00:15:29,488 --> 00:15:33,858
- This is all my fault.
- Now, there's a news flash.
309
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:37,929
But... you did put your life on
the line to save a total stranger.
310
00:15:37,931 --> 00:15:39,798
You're not a stranger, Randy.
311
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:45,837
- You're my friend.
- Liz? But why?
312
00:15:45,839 --> 00:15:51,114
[sighs] I don't know.
I used to feel so... special.
313
00:15:51,149 --> 00:15:54,879
I was a straight-A student, the
class president of Midtown High.
314
00:15:54,881 --> 00:15:58,550
But then came genius schools
like Horizon High and Oz Academy,
315
00:15:58,552 --> 00:16:01,720
and those things didn't
seem to be enough anymore.
316
00:16:01,722 --> 00:16:04,422
So I became Screwball.
317
00:16:04,424 --> 00:16:06,858
Thought I could be
a hero to the community.
318
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:10,462
I guess I lost sight of that when
I started focusing on Spider-Man.
319
00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:13,865
I felt powerful
because I had the attention.
320
00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:17,636
But I guess it takes a different
kind of power to be a real hero.
321
00:16:17,638 --> 00:16:22,258
- Well, saving my life was no small thing.
- Thanks.
322
00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:30,382
Get out!
323
00:16:33,819 --> 00:16:36,288
Dangling over a cement mixer?
324
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,823
Oh, that's the last time
I let you watch the kids.
325
00:16:38,825 --> 00:16:42,227
Spider-Man, you made it.
326
00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:44,829
Hand over the drive,
and nobody gets hurt.
327
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:47,165
Sure. Should I give it to you,
328
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,801
or directly to your boss,
Hammerhead?
329
00:16:49,803 --> 00:16:54,977
Oh-ho, congratulations.
You figured out the dumb
330
00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,409
brute's actually working for me.
You want a medal?
331
00:16:57,411 --> 00:17:00,945
No. Although there's probably
enough metal in your head
332
00:17:00,947 --> 00:17:03,081
to give me the gold,
silver, and bronze.
333
00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:08,153
Just deliver the goods,
and we'll let the kids go.
334
00:17:08,155 --> 00:17:10,021
Sure thing.
335
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:16,328
- Now let them go.
- Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing.
336
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:17,862
Drop 'em!
[grunts]
337
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:19,798
[both screaming]
338
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,300
I knew a thug like you
couldn't be trusted.
339
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:24,869
But I thought I'd give you a chance
before I went to the police
340
00:17:24,871 --> 00:17:27,813
with the list of businesses
you're using to launder money.
341
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:30,761
- What? Well, how did you...
- Easy.
342
00:17:30,796 --> 00:17:34,946
- Just used the old noggin.
- Extinguish that bug!
343
00:17:34,981 --> 00:17:37,015
[all grunting]
344
00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:40,218
[groans]
Oops.
345
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:44,889
Can't I have just one person
that does what I need 'em to do?
346
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:46,958
I'll take care of this myself.
347
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,893
[grunts]
348
00:17:51,831 --> 00:17:52,931
[grunts]
349
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:57,135
See how easily you're replaced,
Absorbing Man?
350
00:17:57,137 --> 00:18:00,138
Clearly, your boss likes 'em big, bad,
and easy to control.
351
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:05,810
[growls] Oh? Then he's gonna
love this new power I have.
352
00:18:05,812 --> 00:18:08,413
Sometimes I don't know
why I open my mouth.
353
00:18:08,415 --> 00:18:11,516
[laughing]
354
00:18:11,518 --> 00:18:15,019
[echoing] Didn't know I could
increase in size, did ya?
355
00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:17,889
Hold still. I'll have us
outta here in a second.
356
00:18:17,891 --> 00:18:20,325
[grunts] You increased
in size and strength,
357
00:18:20,327 --> 00:18:22,160
but sadly not in looks.
[grunts]
358
00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:25,263
[grunting]
359
00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:28,933
[yells] No!
360
00:18:30,269 --> 00:18:33,004
[grunts]
I just got an idea.
361
00:18:33,006 --> 00:18:35,610
Yo, chrome dome!
Over here!
362
00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:38,843
[grunts]
363
00:18:38,845 --> 00:18:41,880
[electricity arcing]
[grunting]
364
00:18:41,882 --> 00:18:44,449
That's an impressive ability
you have there.
365
00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:46,951
Not as impressive as
absorbing knowledge, of course.
366
00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:49,020
[grunts]
367
00:18:49,022 --> 00:18:52,524
I'd pick strength over smarts any day.
368
00:18:52,526 --> 00:18:55,560
I figured.
Otherwise you would've realized
369
00:18:55,562 --> 00:18:57,929
that the metal you just
absorbed was lithium.
370
00:18:57,931 --> 00:19:00,235
Yeah? So what?!
371
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:03,968
So, lithium doesn't react well
with certain compounds.
372
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,070
Like your face?
373
00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:09,707
No. [grunts]
Like water.
374
00:19:09,709 --> 00:19:10,975
[sizzling]
Huh?
375
00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:13,978
[screaming]
376
00:19:17,049 --> 00:19:19,584
[screaming stops]
377
00:19:19,586 --> 00:19:22,587
- Is he gone?
- Sadly, I doubt it.
378
00:19:22,589 --> 00:19:24,989
He'll probably pull himself
together soon enough.
379
00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:26,712
Still, that was amazing!
380
00:19:26,713 --> 00:19:29,294
- You saved the day!
- With your help.
381
00:19:29,296 --> 00:19:31,730
That drive didn't mean a thing
until I remembered the story
382
00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:34,165
on your blog about the companies
that were just bought up.
383
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:38,169
You...
You read my blog?!
384
00:19:38,171 --> 00:19:40,850
Spider-Man is one of my three hits!
385
00:19:40,885 --> 00:19:41,961
[thunderous thud]
Uh-oh.
386
00:19:41,996 --> 00:19:43,808
- [grunts] Spider-Sense.
- Whoa!
387
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:47,785
[Hammerhead] I'm gonna crush
you like the insect you are!
388
00:19:49,415 --> 00:19:52,116
What's wrong with
this piece of junk?
389
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:54,986
You've just been Screwballed!
390
00:19:55,855 --> 00:20:00,625
Wha... You've gotta be...
Hey! I hate that kid!
391
00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:03,570
You've just been Spider-Man... ned!
392
00:20:03,605 --> 00:20:06,297
[grunting]
393
00:20:06,299 --> 00:20:08,099
Hope you got his swan dive
on camera.
394
00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:11,169
Oh, I got it.
Among other things.
395
00:20:12,938 --> 00:20:15,540
[grunting]
[Screwball's voice]
396
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:17,775
[Screwball chuckles]
It's pretty funny.
397
00:20:17,777 --> 00:20:21,145
[muffled grunting] Depends
on what side you're on.
398
00:20:21,147 --> 00:20:23,882
Although today, I was glad
you were on my side.
399
00:20:23,884 --> 00:20:26,684
But I also started this whole mess.
400
00:20:26,686 --> 00:20:29,120
Fixing your mistakes
is part of being a hero.
401
00:20:29,122 --> 00:20:33,691
- A hero? Me?
- After today? Absolutely.
402
00:20:33,693 --> 00:20:37,228
[chuckles] That's better
than a million likes.
403
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:41,299
Still, maybe it's time
I went back to just being me.
404
00:20:42,301 --> 00:20:43,301
[sighs]
405
00:20:43,303 --> 00:20:46,704
- Liz Allan?
- You know who I am?
406
00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:49,007
Uh, of course.
407
00:20:49,009 --> 00:20:52,510
You're Midtown High's class president.
Everybody knows that.
408
00:20:52,512 --> 00:20:54,012
[siren wailing]
[both gasp]
409
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:58,082
And the perfect person to hand
over Absorbing Man to the police.
410
00:20:58,084 --> 00:20:59,918
Not to mention Hammerhead.
[muffled grunting]
411
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,387
So, it turns out
the biggest Spidey fail
412
00:21:02,389 --> 00:21:04,355
was that I failed Spidey.
413
00:21:04,357 --> 00:21:06,991
He was doing the kind of good
I set out to do,
414
00:21:06,993 --> 00:21:09,427
but I got caught up
in the popularity of it all.
415
00:21:09,429 --> 00:21:11,563
And I'm sorry about that.
416
00:21:11,565 --> 00:21:14,065
This is my last Screwball
video for a while.
417
00:21:14,067 --> 00:21:16,367
In the meantime, for real news,
418
00:21:16,369 --> 00:21:19,604
Randy Robertson's blog
has got you covered.
419
00:21:19,606 --> 00:21:21,172
So Spidey saved the day.
420
00:21:21,174 --> 00:21:23,274
I guess he really is
a true hero, huh, Harry?
421
00:21:23,276 --> 00:21:25,276
Aw, please!
422
00:21:25,278 --> 00:21:28,562
You can't believe everything
you see on the Internet, Pete.
423
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:31,368
[sighs]
[slurps]
424
00:21:31,403 --> 00:21:33,043
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425
00:21:33,093 --> 00:21:37,643
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