All language subtitles for Marry Me s01e08 Stand by Me.eng

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- Ugh, organic food sucks.
- Come on, dude.

Remember what Dr. Ralsky said?

You got to turn things around
and get on a healthier path.

Wait, Jake. How do you know
what Gil�s doctor said?

Do you go to the doctor
with Gil?

He just likes having somebody
there with him.

I get freaked out at the doc,

so I don't always hear
what he says.

Like when I thought
he was telling me that

I was having a huge growth
spurt.

Yeah, he actually said,

"you have a huge growth, sport."

Ah, here we go. All right.

Let's go get you some fruits
and veggies

for this juicer, buddy.

Fine, but I really prefer
my fruits

rolled up by the foot
or in loop form.

So the way
Jake takes care of Gil...

Too much or sweet? I can't tell.

What do you mean? Sweet, right?

Mm. I'll catch up with you guys.

I need meat.

Whoa, I don't think so.

You told me not to let you
near Linda the butcher

since your torrid affair ended.

Resisting
the obvious meat metaphors,

she really butchered
your heart out.

Damn it. Seriously though.

You were severely depressed
for a very long time.

- It wasn't that bad.
- Come on, girl.

- Leave it alone.
- You know what?

You're right, Dennah. Thank you.

- 69.
- No!

69.

- Lock it down, woman.
- Hey!

- Where's your dignity?
- Come on.

Wow, Gil, your neighborhood's
really gotten a ton nicer

since they put in
this organic grocery store.

Yeah, it feels like they
can almost stop calling it

"little Detroit."
What can I say?

People seem to really like
the improvements.

I'm not one of those people.

Tree trimmers come at,
like, 6:00 A.M.

And go to town
right outside my window.

What? It's illegal
to start that early.

Not to mention it's a full
two hours before you wake up,

smoke a bowl, and go back to bed
for six hours.

- I know.
- You know what?

Next time they come, call me.

I'll take care of everything.
Thanks.

Now, let's go
unpack your groceries,

and I'll fix your tax return

so the IRS
stops thinking you're a farm.

They think he's a farm.
Isn't that weird? Come on.

Thank you.

Okay to cross?

Yeah, we're good.

Yeah, okay,
so maybe it's too much.

- Maybe.
- It's a lot.

Oh, it's crazy.
Gil is so reliant on Jake.

It is super not good for him.
Yeah.

Since the divorce, it's gotten
totally out of control.

When you guys get married
and have kids in a couple years,

who knows who Gil
will turn to for help.

Some scam artist?

- A child predator?
- A full-grown predator?

I bet Jake doesn't even
realize he's doing it.

Like how he whistles while he
eats or casually militarizes

all our furniture.

Hello, lieutenant couch.
He does that?

Oh, what's up, my lady,
and my lady's ladies?

Jake, have a seat.

Sure. At ease, corporal.

- Wow, he does do that.
- Yup.

All right, what did I do?

So we think you're taking

way too much care of Gil,
and it's not healthy for him.

- Yeah, we do.
- Thoughts?

Well, my first thought
is, "what?"

And my second thought is,
"get out of town."

- You get out of town.
- I will not get out of town.

I will die here.
Not unless I die here first.

Well, if you die here,
then I'm moving

to Alaska,
and I'm gonna marry an Eskimo.

Are you gonna have babies
with her?

Yeah, I'm gonna have
an igloo full,

and they're all gonna
be named Annie.

- You're gonna be cold.
- Yeah, well,

I'm gonna get hot
when I think of you.

Guys, focus on

Jake and Gil�s weirdness,

- not your weirdness.
- Yes.

- Sorry.
- Sorry about that.

Look, Gil doesn't need
me anymore than anybody's buddy

needs anybody else's buddy.

The point is, is if Gil
was here right now...

Which why would he be... he would
tell you the same exact thing.

[Door clicks]
Oh, Jake, thank god.

I need help.

I tried to make juice,

but I couldn't assemble
the machine.

So I stopped at calamari Jack's

and went berserk
on a Fisherman's dream bucket,

but I lost my wallet.

So can you swing by
and pay my tab for me?

And also,
can you call a locksmith?

'Cause my keys
were attached to my wallet.

Yeah, I... I see your point.

So here are your new keys,
and here's your new wallet,

and maybe in the future,
don't attach the thing that

you lose the most to the thing
that you lose the second most.

- That's smart. Smart.
- Yeah.

You know,
I should write that down.

Where is my pen? You know what?

It's attached to my inhaler
and passport.

Okay.
Look, Gil, we need to talk.

Hey, before you start all that,

let me just start
by saying thank you.

Thank you to you, Jake.

I don't say it enough.

- I love you.
- Oh, wow.

Guys don't say that
to each other,

and they should.

I love you too, man.

Um... listen, there's been
some chatter in the community

that our relationship is...
I don't know.

People have been throwing things
around like,

I've been taking too much care
of you,

or you're too dependent on me,
and...

Wait, what?

Th-that's... that's cray.

Is it cray, though? I mean,

you haven't really been
doing anything

since Cassie left you,
and maybe it's because

I've been doing it
for you, you know?

I'm basically the new Cassie

except I don't have sex
with you.

Which would make you exactly
like the old Cassie.

[Both laugh]

Nice.
But look at this apartment, man.

I mean, it's a honking mess.

You got clothes on the floor.

There's dishes in the sink.

You got dishes in your clothes.

I mean,
how did this even happen?

Cassie kept all the furniture.

So go out and get new furniture.

Okay, yeah. Let's go buy some.
Next time, start with that.

No, no, no.
You need to do that for you.

You need to start taking care
of yourself like a normal adult.

- Normal adult?
- Yes.

Is that your final answer, Reg?

Well, that... Reg wouldn't say,

"is that
your final answer, Reg?"

He would say,
"is that your final answer?"

He would say it if the
contestant's name were also Reg.

Yes, but that's very specific.

When would he... like,
how often does that happen?

That's not what you meant.

You know, I only let you help me

because it seems like
you need it.

Face it, Jake.

You're obsessed with me.

[Laughs] Wha...

I'm obsessed? Are you...
- Yeah.

- Okay, you know what?
- Yeah.

I just think we need
to take a step back.

- Oh, you do?
- Yes.

Well, I think we need
to take two steps back.

How about 2 million?

'Cause I don't want
to speak to you no more.

[Whistles]

Wow, you're a real piece
of work.

Yeah, well, you're a real piece

of what I work to push
out of my bottom.

That was clever and hurtful.

[Breathing shakily]

Oh, hey, babe.

- Hey, snake.
- Snake?

- Jake the snake.
- Hey, I'll take that.

How'd it go with Gil?

Honestly, I don't think
he took it too well.

I mean, I don't think
we've ever had a fight before.

I'm sure
everything will be fine.

Gil always does this.

He gets really mad,
and then he's over it.

Remember how mad he got when
America's funniest home vides

didn't include him
in their nut shot montage?

Two days later, he was
right back out in the yard...

Both: Kicking himself
in the nuts again.

- How does he even do it?
- I think you guys were right.

This definitely needed
to happen.

For sure.

And honestly, I think the reason
Gil�s so upset

is that deep down, he knows
he needs to be more independent.

I need help.

Please, please, please.

I can't do anything for myself.

My bills are all overdue.

My dry cleaning is... somewhere.

I can't even put together
the juicer Jake got me.

Now my produce has turned.

Dude, take it one step
at a time.

Start with the juicer.

It says "minimal assembly
required."

- It should be easy.
- Yeah.

But I've screwed up
everything I ever

tried to build...
Like that shelf,

a healthy marriage...

I'm sorry, buddy,

but the answer is no.

Trust us.
It's for your own good.

Well, things
can't get any worse than this.

Okay,
that's actually a little better.

That chair
was pretty uncomfortable.

So I got to figure out
who I am without Gil.

I mean,
I knew who Jake and Gil were,

and I knew who Gil
and Jake were,

and I knew who Jake, Gil,
and Mary were...

Our folk trio in college.

We had somewhat of
a regional hit

with major sweater,
minor corduroy.

So will Annie be back
any time soon?

Because I really just stopped by
to return her casserole dish.

- Thank god.
- Hey, dad.

Oh, you brought my dish back.
Yeah.

- How did the lasagna turn out?
- Uh, pretty good.

We came in second place
at the Mr. gay lasagna.

Oh, no. Did Lorenzo win again?

Ours was tastier,
but his was much gayer.

Anyways, Jake and I have just
been discussing his problems

with Gil... at length.

So if you're ready to jump in,
I'd be happy to tag out.

Dad.

Okay, sweetie.

Jake, I think you're taking
this whole thing

with Gil way too hard.

You know,
he'll come back around.

I've seen the way
he looks at you.

I guess I just don't know
what to do with myself.

Like, today, Gil and I would

normally go
to the violent movie theater

and watch a rare print
of lady ninjas 4:

That time of the month to kill.

Well, what time's it playing?
My dad would love to go...

- No.
- But can't.

- Oh.
- Look.

This is a good thing, okay?

You'll have more free time.
That's great.

Having free time is the best.

I mean, that's why I wake up
two hours early

every morning
and sit on the stairs.

You just sit on the stairs, huh?

- Yeah.
- You know, there's a lot

of stuff that I've been meaning

to do
that I haven't had time for.

That's the spirit. I mean,

maybe you and my dad could...
No.

Bye.

He's... he's so busy.

Is he?

[Chuckling nervously]

Okay, just jump off the cliff.
Here we go.

[Mumbling]

[Chuckles]

[Gasps]

[Wheezy laugh] Yes!

Yes! [Chortles]

Score one for the Gil-meister!

What are you looking at, bills?

You're next.

Ugh, I really hate this new
birth control patch.

I feel bloated to a level
that can only

be described as Val Kilmer-Ian.

When I switched, I had blurred
vision and day terrors,

but I stuck with it 'cause
my skin looks so damn good.

Yeah, you are glowing.
[Cell phone jingles]

Really? That butcher?
I thought we agreed

you were gonna
delete her from your phone.

Kay, she tried to buy a horse
with your credit card.

No, she didn't try to buy
a horse with my credit card.

She succeeded.
Delete the butcher's number.

What if I have
a beef-based emergency

or a chicken situation?

- It's for your own good, girl.
- Girl.

- Girl.
- Girl.

- Girl.
- My girls.

Hey, hon.
What are you doing here?

Well, you said I should do Jake,

and Jake wants to do brunch
with the ladies.

- Oh.
- All right.

So what's the dish?
What's the dish?

Dish it to me. Come on.

Okay, well...

I'm sorry.
Just hold that thought.

Would you mind
if we switched seats?

I just have a thing about having
my back to the door.

- It's weird, but it's real.
- Seriously?

You know what?
Never mind, don't move.

- I'll move. I'll move.
- What?

- What are you...
- Excuse me.

- Ow. Jake.
- I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You know what it is?

You watch
the godfather 36 times,

you start to develop
these fears.

Ah, so much better.

Look at that.
I can see everybody.

If somebody comes in with a gun,

I'll still get shot,
but I'll see it coming.

All right, come on,
let's get into it.

Let's hear it.
I'm just one of the gals.

- O... Kay.
- Okay.

Well, I guess we were just

discussing how my birth
control patch makes me...

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, no. No, we're eating.

We're eating, right?
So read the room.

Let's... [chuckles]

Know your audience, lady. Um...

Kay, flow. Let it flow.

Well, we were also debating
whether or not I should delete

the number of that butcher
I used to sip on.

- The butcher?
- Yes.

Well, you should definitely
not delete that number.

I mean,
she's hot as hell, right?

- Jake, she is crazy.
- Yeah, exactly.

I mean, crazy girls
are the most explosive lovers.

Annie, can I get a what-what
on that one?

- Ew!
- Your man has a point.

She really knew
how to jiggle my gelatin.

Well, Jake, you know what?

This has been really fun
having you hang with us,

but the three of us have to head
to our yoga class, so rats.

Just rats!

Or no rats because I signed up
for the yoga class too.

Hey, girls' day out.

[Robotic voice]
Synchronizing periods now.

[Imitating robot beeping]

So Jake joining us
for brunch and yoga... do we think

this is a one-time thing
or more of a continuous burden?

I'm sure it's just until
he patches

things up with Gil,
which will be soon.

Whoo. Hey, guys.

This is gonna be great,
you know?

I've been looking for some
new hobbies now

that Gil and I are completely
done for basically ever.

Wait, done?
What do you mean "done"?

Have you not talked at all?
Nope. Yeah.

And I'm at peace
with it, you know?

I am good. Good, good, good.

[Chuckles]

Guys, we may have
a bigger problem here.

This is the longest Jake and Gil
have gone without talking.

Maybe in trying to fix Gil,
we broke Jake and Gil.

Yeah, but our plan
is kind of working.

I mean,
Gil�s making real progress.

Have you seen his instagram?

He is making a lot of juice.
Wow.

And using Instagram.

His user name
is his social security number,

but, yeah, for Gil, no,
this is super impressive.

Maybe we should just give it
a few more days.

I mean, it's Jake and Gil.
They're gonna be fine, right?

I think you're right, honestly.

Whoa. Watch your kicks, man.

- Oh, sorry.
- Blew my braid back.

Hey, what if I have to pee?
Or is there an intermission?

You know what?
Actually, don't worry about it.

I'm just nervous, I think.

don't worry. Just follow me.

I'm sort of the star
of the class.

My picture's on the front page
of the studio's website.

Hey, hey, hey. Ringer.
[Chuckles]

Okay, everyone,
let's quiet the minds.

Hey, what's up, coach? Jake.

New student here,
so take it easy on me.

Okay, Jake.

And now let's go
into downward dog.

If anyone needs any help,
you may ask myself

or my best and most
beautiful student, Dennah.

- Hi, it's me.
- Hi, you.

I want you to know
that I do privates,

and you can interpret that
any way you want.

Well, how about
we interpret it together?

Are you even
a real yoga teacher?

- Shh, Franny, please.
- It's Annie.

Uh, a little help?
I accidentally fell upside down.

You accidentally slipped
into a textbook crow pose.

Here's what I want you to do.
Slowly lower your legs.

Lower my... all right.

Okay, like this? I'm sorry.

I've never done yoga before.
Clearly.

You're not supposed
to talk in here.

Dennah, please.
No talking in here.

I've actually never seen
this pose

executed in a non-yurt setting.

May I please
take your photograph

for the front page
of the website?

- No problem.
- Okay.

We got to get Jake and Gil
back together right now.

Oh, boy. Now I've done it.

Guys, this goes
against everything

I believe about yoga,
but give it up for Jake.

[All chanting "Jake"]

I'll go get Gil, and I'll meet
you guys at the grocery store.

Thank you.

- Hey, yoga is stupid fun!
- [Students chanting "Jake"]

Wow, guys, thank you so much

for letting me tag along
to yoga.

Yeah, awesome. Loved it.

Who knew I would be
such a natural, you know?

I mean, I'm like
Robert Redford in that movie.

- The natural?
- Yeah.

Of course the natural.
What other movie would it be?

I mean, I literally
said the word "natural."

Whoa, what a strange
and unusual coincidence, Gil.

Oh, my go... look who it is.

It's Jake and the gang.

Well, hello, Gilbert.
That side part new?

Actually, yes, it is.

It's a classic visual cue

to let people know
that I'm now doing well,

much like this Eric Stonestreet
limited edition button down.

Speaking of visual cues, feast
your eyes on my new yoga gear.

I mean,
could anything more clearly

indicate my new-found
spiritual health?

Om. [Chuckles]

I wonder what's changed
in my life recently.

Well,
while we're all wondering...

- Yeah?
- Why don't we all

check out the array

of healthy items
that I have in my cart.

I also pay my bills now
and have an active knowledge

of where my dry cleaning
is at all times. Mm-hmm.

Wow,
really, really interesting stuff

from both parties.

Why don't you guys get a beer,

and just continue the convo,
you know?

"This is what I've been
up to," and if it sort of

inches towards a kiss,
well, then,

you know, it does,
and I don't need to know.

No, I don't think
we're gonna kiss, thank you.

We're both doing gangbusters
without each other,

so we should probably just
leave it that way.

Agree to agree.

Annie, there might be one kiss

when Jake kisses
my big, brown butt.

Peace be upon you.
Oh, and also upon you.

All upon you.

- Okay.
- Namaste.

Now, nama-go.

- That's fine.
- Thank you.

- I'll see you later.
- I don't think we will.

[Both scoffing repeatedly]

- Ugh!
- Ehh!

- Jake, wait.
- You know what?

I can't deal with all this bad
energy right now.

I am coming off my worst yoga
class of the season,

and I got to just...
I just got to...

I got to just...

- [Sighs]
- 69.

Ah.

69?

Do y'all
even have other numbers?

Hey, where you been, girl?

Well, you left me alone
with Linda the butcher,

so I went home with 4 pounds
of top sirloin

and 110 pounds of sexual fury.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yeah.

And our relationship is toxic.

Toxic to the tune of
she robbed me.

- Again?
- Yes!

Why'd you leave me, Dennah?

I had to find another yoga class

since Jake ruined the first one.

And seriously, girl,
where is your willpower?

- You are my willpower.
- Whoa, guys.

Guys, look at us, okay?

We didn't just screw up
Jake and Gil�s friendship.

We screwed up the entire "Annie,
Jake, Kay, Dennah, Gil" dynamic.

It's like the bees.

Is that some sort of slang way
of saying it's the worst?

No, bitch.

I have a degree in

environmental science
from Stanford.

Make one small change
in an ecosystem,

and it causes a ripple effect
that changes everything.

Oh, I learned about that
on real time with Bill Maher.

Thomas Friedman thinks
it's happening,

but Nicki Minaj disagrees.

We never should've played god.

What are we supposed to do now?
The only thing we can do.

We play god again to undo
our original god playing.

We need Gil to need Jake again.

Yeah, but what does Gil
need help with?

- Apparently nothing these days.
- Okay.

Well, he's super
into building things right now.

What if we found
something really difficult

for him to build?

- Both: Ikea.
- A bomb.

I mean, yeah, Ikea.

Ooh, they have an odda
with an adjustable gangjarn.

- What?
- It's an armoire

with adjustable gangjarn.

According to this
customer review,

the building process was
"needlessly infuriating."

Perfect. Okay.

So when Gil crashes and burns,

he'll have no one
to turn to but Jake.

Guys, I want to apologize
for the bomb thing.

I was just trying to think
of stuff

that's hard to build, you know?

I should've said,
"a healthy relationship"

or "Ikea," which turned out
to be the right answer.

Thank you for apologizing,
'cause it was really weird.

"Dear Gil.
We're so proud of you.

"Please enjoy this armoire.

Love, Annie, Dennah, and Kay."

Tch! Aw.

I could really use an armoire,

and I've always wanted
adjustable gangjarn.

[Camera shutter snaps]

Now, to share you
with the world.

[Yawns]

[Groans]

[Machinery humming]

No!

- I don't believe it.
- Hmm? What? What?

Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I have another wet dream?

I need to stop watching Golden
Girls before we go to bed.

No. Gil. He built the armoire.

- I can't believe it.
- What?

Hey, he's actually doing stuff.

I'm so proud
of our little meatball.

- Then call him.
- No.

I mean, if this isn't proof
I was holding him back,

then I don't know what is.

He's better off without me.

He's not better off without you.

He's just better off
not relying entirely on you.

[Phone rings]

- Hey, it's Gil.
- Answer it.

- Answer it. Answer it.
- Okay.

- Hello?
- Can I help you?

- Can you... you called me.
- Listen, bro.

We can sit around here
all day debating who called me.

Not a debate. You called me.

Or we can get together
and talk like men.

All right, yeah.

Okay, how about this afternoon?
Now is great.

It's 6:00 in the morning, but...

Yeah.

So come meet me
at fifth and a maple.

Okay. Wait.

Fifth and maple don't intersect.

Oh, fifth and a maple.

Yeah, I get it.

How did you even get up there?

Well, the tree trimmers were

doing their thing at 6:00 A.M.,

so I confronted them.

They quickly surrounded me,

and then I ran up the ladder
to get away.

Sure.

But they outsmarted me
by removing it.

Wow. Shocking how much
your life resembles cartoons.

Need some help?
Yeah, I'd like that.

You got it.

Go, daddy.

Hey, little buddy.

What's up?

- Oh, you know, just hanging.
- Ah.

Listen, I'm sorry
for how I've been acting.

You were only looking out
for me.

Yeah, but I'm sorry, you know?

I was probably a little bit
harsh.

God, it's always
the same old story with me.

One step forwards,
two steps stuck in a tree.

Yeah,
but you're doing better, buddy.

I mean, the house
is all cleaned up.

Your shirts and your pots
are all stored separately.

You done did good.

- Thanks.
- All right.

Oh, you.
Can you get me out of here?

Now, this is a very special
juice for me.

I call it "the Jake."

Oh, thanks, buddy.

- After Jake Gyllenhaal.
- Ah.

He lives on this stuff.

It is so good
to see you two back together.

We never should've meddled.

Or let me throw out
one other option.

Did we sort of knock it
out of the park?

'Cause I think we did.
We kind of did.

Gil is killing it.
This place looks awesome.

Seriously, when did this happen?

Well, high on the success
of my armoire assembly,

I decided to just keep
riding that wave all the way

into building a new dinette set.

So...Thanks to you guys.

We should play god more often.

We're like three beautiful Oprahs

- perfectly dressed
- On a budget.

impeccably fragranced,
and so beautifully...

[ All screams]

Oh!

- Oh my god! Seriously?
- That really hurt.

So there were a lot of extra screws...

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