All language subtitles for Marry Me s01e07 Win Me.eng

Sorry guys, we got to go.
Jake and I are having dinner

with my favorite and only cousin, Scooby,

legally changed from Barry Scooberstein.

He's a cruise director
so he's rarely in port.

Ah, Scooby is the coolest guy ever.

He's like the Ryan Gosling of cousins.

Jake, you are going to love
him... he's the life of the party.

Literally, that's what
his business cards say.

My business cards say FBI:
Female Body Inspector.

Interesting, but I think

That's more of a hallway
conversation,

so let's move those cute little
hineys out the door.

- Okay then.
- We're just really late.

Well, as if my life couldn't
get any worse, it did.

Oh, we'd love to be there
for you, buddy, but...

Good.
Hey, you guys can sit down,

no need for the formality.

- 'Kay.
- So...

my place is getting fumigated

'cause I have fleas from
that alley cat I fought.

It was just a piece
of chicken, man,

you should've let it go.
[whispers] yeah.

I'm so happy to be hanging
with my crew tonight.

I'm thinking
Law & Order marathon?

I don't know that there is one,

but that show is never not on.

Oh, that sounds like a blast,
buddy,

but Annie and I have dinner
plans with her cousin, Barry.

Scooby. His name was changed

by the American government.

All right then, dennah, Kay,
who wants at me?

Sorry, I have a work event.
Or as I like to call it,

"1 1/2 hours
of Bob in HR asking me

What kind of gay I am."
well, you're obviously

A soft butch lipstick flannel
queen, right?

- Word.
- And I have a little date.

Literally, he's 5'4".
That's a small drink of water.

There's a lot of cute guys out
there living below boob level.

Loving all of this, but...
oh, my god, you guys,

You gotta see what
they did to the elevator.

They vacuumed, and they
got the booger off the 14.

- Come on, please leave.
- Hey,

I get it. My crew's busy.

And I love a busy crew,
I'm busy too.

Law & order's not going
to watch itself,

Although, I wouldn't be
surprised if it could,

'cause it's that awesome.

But Jake, you and I are still on
for b-ball tomorrow,

- Right, buddy?
- I'm in.

Or, actually, I'm not in
because I'm realizing that

Scooby is here all weekend,
which I am thrilled about.

Unless I can get away for a few
hours to play some basketball.

Which I cannot,
nor do I want to.

Why would you bring that up?
How dare you?

I am livid with you.

You guys are all so busy
with your grown-up stuff.

Meanwhile, here I am,
single, unemployed,

Inexplicably 2 inches shorter
than last year.

It's like your lives
are chugging forward,

And mine's just slipping
backwards.

Oh, come on, buddy.

Sometimes moving backwards
can be cool, right?

Case in point, the moonwalk.
What?

That shouldn't help,
but it does.

Hey, I'll play basketball
with you tomorrow, gilly.

- Yeah, me too.
- Really?

- Thanks, guys.
- Okay, then it's settled,

We'll all walk out of here
together right now.

You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay here.

By the way, Gil, you don't
currently have fleas, right?

No. But...

You know, apropos of nothing,

Maybe I'll just take
this chair with me.

Okay, scoot. [chair scraping]

[whistling]

Sync and corrections by Squallounet
www.addic7ed.com

So the wedding was totally
nosediving, the DJ doesn't show,

The best man speech
was way too Vietnam-heavy,

But then here comes
cousin Scooby.

Armed only with an iPod
and a Coors light.

He throws on a little
"whoomp! There it is"

And whoomp! There everyone is,
up on the dance floor.

Everyone was dancing, even
aunt Karen with the clubfoot.

Scooby is the wedding whisperer.

Wait, so aunt Karen has
a clubfoot and a glass eye?

My god.
And male pattern baldness.

- That's a lot.
- She's one of life's

- Real soldiers.
- Yeah.

Is she still alive?

- Yes and no.
- Yes and no.

Speaking of the greatest
weddings of all time,

Annie, do you remember
princess Kate�s wedding bouquet?

Hmm, no, I can't say I recall

The understated yet meaningful
blend of lily of the valley

And sweet William, dad.
Of course I remember.

Because I found a florist
here in town

That can recreate
that very arrangement.

Dad, that is so sweet, that
is, like, my dream bouquet.

A-actually I was talking
about for my wedding.

Oh, my god. How stupid of me.

I guess it didn't
even occur to me

That you would be carrying
a bouquet.

No, no, that would be crazy.

- It's not a bouquet.
- Okay.

It's an oversized boutonniere
that has a handle

So I can walk around
like a princess.

Yeah, my little princess
with a penis.

Your queenie with a weenie.
[laughs]

- Don't talk about my penis.
- Fair enough.

I'm sorry about that.
Honey, I didn't even realize

You'd want it for your wedding.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, I mean,

You know, why would you even
be thinking about my wedding?

No, I do think
about your wedding.

It is so fine.
Besides, I was planning on

Using these live birdcage
centerpieces,

So I'll just go with the
tropical theme for my bouquet.

Ouch.
I pinned those birdcages too.

- Ouch.
- Ouch-e-wa-wa.

This is so silly. You know what?

You take the bouquet
and the birdcages.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.

Listen, I am not going to get
into a bride war

With my own daughter.
'cause that would be, like-

- Like...
And, hey, let's face it,

I wouldn't stand a chance
anyway, would I?

Because I learned from the best.

You are the O.G. Bridezilla.

Only because the student
is now the master.

Oh, thank you, sir.

[laughter] - oh, you.

I feel uncomfortable,
but I shouldn't, right?

No, we should.
Who needs a drink?

- Waiter?
- Oh, I'm sorry,

We're all out of drinks.
But I can offer you

The best night of your life!

All: Scooby!

- Oh, this is Scooby.
- Well, uncle Kevs!

- Yay.
- I have literally

Been over here for 20 minutes
waiting for you guys

To call me over.
Oh, here, lo fang.

Let me give you your vest,
thanks again, dude.

Oh, and I dropped those
spring rolls off at table seven.

Thanks, Scooby. You're the best.

No, you are, dude.
Seriously, don't stop believing

In yourself, okay?
No matter what that girl said.

What an entrance.

- You must be Jake.
- Ah, yes, guilty as charged.

The man, the myth,
the supermodel?

Wow, you are
a very attractive man.

Look at this... dah-dah-dah-dah!
Hey.

Come over here, bro. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow, look at that.

We're instantly good at that.

Aw, Annie. Look at this girl.

Gorgeous, brilliant, and with
a heart of gold... Schlager.

[laughter]
Jake, you got an angel.

Can I get an "amen" or what?
Amen!

Oh, I thought
we were all gonna do it.

- That's okay.
- Do that.

How is life on
the concert cruise circuit?

You still working
"the debarge barge"?

No, no, no, I'm with the
maroon 5, "cruise like Jagger,"

Yeah, and we turn down for what?

Nothing!

You know what I'm saying?

I honestly don't,
but I love how you say it.

I missed you guys so much.
You know?

And I heard the great news,
two weddings in one year?

Whoa! How's the bride-to-be?

- Excited.
- Thrilled.

'Cause we're both brides,
and that's fine.

[TV in background]

[knock at door]

[commotion on TV continues]

[knocking continues]

Ugh.

My date was a disaster.

I couldn't get past
how short he was.

Literally, I could not get past
him... he was so underfoot.

Dennah, how did you get in here?

Uh, you let me in?

What is going on?

Law & order.

I've never seen it before.
Gil was right... it's awesome.

Oh, come on, it can't be
that good... skeletal remains?

But how?

Okay, so we're all good for
tomorrow for dinner, right?

Dude, wild hangovers
wouldn't keep me away.

Hey, so I hate to register
on the dickter scale,

But I only get one more
shore leave this year,

So I can only come
to one of your weddings.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Ooh.
- I know.

Well, it's a good thing
we talked about

The whole bride wars thing,
because I do not want to fight

Over who gets Scooby
at their wedding.

Absolutely.
Scooby, why don't you just

Take your time and decide
whose wedding you'll be at,

And we'll roll with it.

Because that's what I'm known
for, rolling with it.

You can call me Adele,
'cause I'm rolling in the deep.

And I'm just
rollin' with the homies.

"papa's like a rolling stone."

"rollin',
rolling down the river."

Okay, we're gonna go.
We'll see you guys tomorrow.

- Okay, us too.
- Okay.

Hey, Scooby. Scoobs.

So I know you're staying
at that cute bed and breakfast

On 4th street, better
known as the murder hotel.

What? No it's not, is it?

Why don't you stay
with us tonight?

Stay safe. We can all kind of

Have more
of a chance to catch up.

Yes! I would love that.

Hope you guys are up
for a midnight jam sesh,

Because that
is where I come alive.

- Yes!
- Yeah, you are.

Yes! [Jake laughs, murmurs]

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Didn't say it yet.
Saying it now.

You and your dad agreed to not
compete over Scoobs

And what wedding he's attending.

I'm not, I just want to spend
some time with my favorite

And only cousin.
Oh, and we're giving him

Our bed and any of your clothes
that he may want.

Just so you know,
there is evidence mounting

That you're not great
at rolling with it.

- Oh, hey, Bae.
- Is Bae really that much

Shorter than babe?

It's literally the same amount
of syllables.

But that extra "B"
makes my mouth so tired.

- Aww.
- Ooh, we should be quiet.

I don't want to wake Scooby.
Oh, Scooby's gone.

He got a call this morning,
he downed three red bulls,

High-fived my hand into
premature arthritis,

And then... [whistles] took off.
And I just spent 20 minutes

To find his favorite
cro-cronuts.

[gasps] he's with my dads.

"Shopping with the guncles,

"buying me a suit.
blessed.

I can't believe my dad
is buying him a suit.

I mean, he said he didn't want
to have a bride war,

And yet here he is,
starting one.

Uh, devil's advocate...
didn't you start the bride war

When you invited him over here
to sleep?

[laughing] no. What?

We have to have Scooby.
Your wedding sets the tone

For your whole marriage,

And Scooby sets the tone
for your wedding.

We don't want to end up like
my aunt tig and uncle bloom.

Aunt Tig and unc... wait, didn't
they die in a plane crash?

Yes, but they were on their
way to their second honeymoon,

Because their marriage
was in trouble,

Which it wouldn't have been, had
Scooby been at their wedding.

Yeah, sure, that tracks.

I just want our wedding
to be perfect,

And I don't have
a lot of family,

So it means everything to me
to have Scooby there.

Look, I want our wedding
to be perfect too, but...

Great!
So we're on the same page.

Let's go down there.

Yo, dude.
You wanna play with us?

We need a fourth.

Oh, sorry, guys.
I'm waiting on my lady friends.

They're two hours late.
God, is this what it's come to?

The only people that
want to hang out with me

Are a bunch of fifth-graders?
Dude, we're sixth-graders.

Oh, really?
Well, that's totally different.

But I warn you, if we do this,
I'm not going to go easy on you.

Huh? Huh?

Huh, huh? [groans]

- Awesome!
- Cool.

Sick.

- It is pretty cool, huh?
- Yeah, right on.

Okay. No, it is...

It's really coming out.

All right, well,
what are you gonna do?

Huh? All right, well, you still

Wanna play with me?
I can still play.

How many episodes of
law & order have we watched

- At this point?
- 13.

17 if you count the ones without
Jerry Orbach, which I do not.

- That man is sex in a suit.
- Mm.

Think my fave is the one where
they found that bloated body

Floating in the rive

[gasps] we forgot to meet Gil.

[whispering] I can't believe
you're trying to

Win Scooby over
by buying him a new suit.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear
anything you just said.

I'm just so mesmerized
by your bulging bis...

Well, I have been working out
on my definit...

Okay, you're trying
to distract me.

You are in a bride war
with our daughter.

Pfff, Annie and I
are just two brides

Who want the best weddings ever.

That's not a war.
That's wedding season.

Uncle Kev,
I am loving this new suit.

It's been so long since I've had
fabric below my knees.

This is all
the other Kevin�s idea,

I can't take any credit for it.
And in fact, I won't.

And if Annie finds out,
please don't mention my name.

- Okay.
- Scooby, you just need a suit

That isn't swim,
and if you happen to

Wear it at our wedding,
then great.

Whoo, hey, Scoobs.

Dads! Hey.

[panting] did you guys run here?

Reluctantly.

- Loving that suit, Scoobs.
- Thanks.

- So nice of my dads.
- No-oh, singular.

- Dad.
- Oh. Nice of my dad

To get it for you.
Hmm, it was nice of you

To put Scooby up for the night.
Well, he's family,

And nothing's more important
than family.

- I couldn't agree more.
- And that is why I would be

So happy to pay for your airfare

Should you decide
to come to our wedding.

Dude, that would be amazing.

Money is a little tight right
now, 'cause I mostly get paid

In drink tickets. Did you think

That we wouldn't pay for you to
come to our wedding?

Because we've
been planning on it.

Since we want you
to be our best man.

- Wait, what?
- I would be so honored.

Oh, scoob, sorry we can't put
you in our wedding party,

Because we want you
to officiate it!

[laughs] wait, what?

I don't see Gil anywhere,
do you think he left?

Well, we are two hours late,

And Gil isn't usually outside
for more than 1/2 hour

At a time.
Wait, is that his shirt?

Why would Gil be walking
around without a shirt?

Oh, my god, do you think
something happened to him?

Calm down. All that
law & order made you paranoid.

- Oh, my god!
- Oh, baby, Gil!

He's missing and bleeding.
This is seriously not good!

And it's all our fault!

Okay, think.
If this was law & order,

What would Orbach do?

He would go to a payphone
and call his technology guy.

Where are
all the damn payphones?

Hey, thanks
for inviting me over, bros,

And for this perfect-fitting
t-shirt.

Who knew I was a child's medium?
[laughter]

You guys got a pretty killer
setup down here.

Yeah, my mom bought me
the big screen

After dad moved in with Susan.
Nice.

[phone vibrates] oh.

Oh, sorry.
I don't have time for you now.

Whoa, dude, how'd you get
to this level so fast?

Oh, I've beaten
this game three times.

Would've been more, but I
started getting bed sores

From my sweet bean bag.

I gotta get that thing
re-beaned.

- You're so cool.
- Yes, thank you.

You guys are like
my new crew now.

My old crew's like, "eh, we
can't hang, we gotta put on

Our sweater vests
and pay our forms."

New crew's like, "we can hang
out all we want!"

- [chuckling]
- this battle over Scooby

Is getting out of control.

- Want more dipping sauce?
- Yeah.

And that's my calamari.

You know, I always thought
this whole bridezilla thing

Was just a myth,
but Annie has changed

Right in front of my eyes.

Like Chris Pratt�s body.

Oh, I know.
He is right and tight now.

What did he do?
How does he get it done?

- Where does he find the time?
- He works so hard.

Yeah.
Well, I tried to talk to Kevin,

But he's gone wedding-mad too.

You know, competing with your
own daughter

Is not a good look for him.

It's worse than the time
that he got a perm.

The thing is,
Annie would give her life

As we know it for Kevin.

- They live for each other.
- They are each other.

That's why
it's so hard to watch.

We have to get these two to talk

Because it's physically
impossible for Scooby

To go to both weddings.

Wait, I may have an idea.

Wait.

I may have a scotch. Bartender?

- Is that a puca shell?
- Hey, everybody.

- Happy birthday.
- Have a good one.

Aw, thank you. But it's...

It's not my b-day.

I know, but we're going
to miss it, and I hate that.

So Kevin and I thought...
No, no,

I had nothing to do with this.

That we would celebrate
your birthday today.

Our cake is coming,
and it's bigger.

[quietly]
Jake, go get a bigger cake.

Oh, all right.

No more cake, no more cake,
no more cake, no more cake.

No more fighting over Scooby,
that's it!

What? Fighting?
That's so crazy. Who...

- I'm her dad.
- We don't fight.

- Doesn't happen.
- It's like, what?

I have a solution
where you can both have Scooby

And you can both have
the florist, and you can both

Have the endangered birds.

How about we do it up
Brady-sister style

And have a double wedding?

Whoa, wait, you cats would do
that for me

Yeah! Double wedding?

- Double amazing.
- [laughs]

What do you think?

- That's cra...
- that's... that's Stu...

Both: [drawn out]
oooooooooo... aaaay... ate.

- Great.
- Really good.

Double wedding?
I don't want to get married

With my dads.
I mean, I wanted to marry

My dads when I was little,
but I also wanted to marry

Donald Rumsfeld.

He's just so strong, he's
decisive, and he's... off topic.

Look, I am doing this
for you, bae.

Hey, wait, you're right...
bae is so much easier than babe.

- I know, right?
- Look, this is all part

Of my master plan to get Scooby
at our wedding.

There's no possible way that
your dads want a double wedding

Either, right?
So the first person to admit

That they don't want
a double wedding

Is also willing to lose Scooby.

You evil, handsome genius.

Yeah, it's like that bible
story with Solomon.

Or is it shecky?
You know, where they split

The baby in two...
Or is it a t-shirt?

I'm gonna go with baby.

Was the baby wearing a t-shirt?

Hey, thank you.

Thank you for getting how
important Scooby is to me.

Hey, of course.
Now, look, all you have to do

Is pretend that you love
the double wedding idea,

- All right?
- Okay.

And whatever you do,
don't crack,

Otherwise we might lose Scooby.
Okay, I can do this.

I can do this.
I mean, I am a great actress.

I believe that.

- I found my ring!
- Take it down, madea.

I found my ring.

So, where were we?

We were talking about
the amazing double wedding idea.

Double wedding, right.

You know, I am loving this idea.

Yeah, I... I'm loving it more.

I mean, the thought of being
in the spotlight the whole day

Is so daunting, you know, it'll
just be fun to be up there

Together, all four of us.
Yeah, I totally agree.

I mean, the chance to share the
day... to share an anniversary,

- So special.
- So special.

Oh, my gosh, we could do
a joint invitation.

Love that!
I mean, with all of our faces

On the card, I mean, come on!

And I can't wait for
the four-way first dance.

- No.
- Same time speeches!

I love it. You know what?

Why even do a double wedding
when we could

Both: Do a double honeymoon!

Yeah, I can just see it now.
The four musketeers lying

Naked on the beaches
of the Maldives.

Yeah, with adjoining rooms!

Why should we even spend
a day apart?

Hey, do you guys want to share
a pineapple ice cream boat?

- It looks so good.
- No, no!

I do not want to share a stupid
pineapple ice cream boat thingy,

And I do not want
to share my wedding.

I was just using my acting.

And it was good for a while.

Someone should probably
go talk...

I... I should probably
go talk to her. Okay.

Ruh-roh.

So I don't know what just
happened, but what I do know

Is that my behavior has been
Michael Lohan-level unfatherly.

And I have been dance
moms-level daughter bad.

And I know that was confusing.
Not to me it wasn't.

Look, I've just been planning
my wedding

Since I was a little girl,
and I guess I always imagined

You guys planning it with me,
not planning your own.

Oh, honey, I didn't realize
we'd get so...

But you know how badly I want
you to have your special day.

- Yeah, I know.
- I always wished you and dad

Could get married.
I guess I just didn't think

Our weddings would be happening
at the same time.

Of course you didn't.
And I've been so wrapped up

In myself because I've been
dreaming about my wedding

Since I was a kid too.
I would lock myself

In the bedroom with my bridal
magazines hoping that my parents

Would just think
that I was doing drugs.

Oh. I'm so sorry, dad.

No, I'm sorry. Forget it.

Your father and I will postpone.
No way-no!

What if they
make it illegal again?

I'm just glad that
we're talking about it,

That we got it out in the open.
Me too.

And now I insist that you have
Scooby at your wedding.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, I couldn't.

And...

But I can, and so I will.

Thank you.
And I want to give you

Your wedding present early.

We have chosen you...

To be our flower girl. [squeals]

Our fully-grown adult woman
flower girl.

Oh, my dreams have come true.

Hey... Who else can say they got
in a bride war with their dad?

I love that about us.

Boy soldiers, cover me with
reflection shots.

I'm going for red headquarters.

Light 'em up!

[screams] oh, Gil, thank god

You're all right.
We've been so worried about you.

How'd you guys know I was here?

Well, we realized if we had
your password,

We could track your cell phone,
and since your password is

"password... " - shh, shh, shh!

What are you doing here, buddy?

I made some awesome new friends.

Sure, they're children, but I'm
basically succeeding in life

On a sixth-grade level anyway,
so it plays.

Now, if you'll excuse us,
we're hanging out,

Like real friends do.

Come on,
we're your real friends.

And, hey, you just hit
a rough patch, pal,

But you'll get through it.

I'm sorry we've been
a little busy lately.

But you know we'll always
be here for you.

Well, except for today,
of course, when we weren't.

I'm sorry, we just fell into
a serious law & order wormhole,

But we love you.
You guys think you can

Just waltz in here,
with, albeit, a very

Valid excuse
and some beautiful words

And expect
to just be instantly forgiven?

Because you can. [both exhales]

Hang on, I gotta go break
some kid hearts.

- Gotcha.
- Those the friends

- Who blew you off?
- Yeah.

Look, buddy, this is going to be
hard for you to hear,

But I gotta go.
You see, I'm an adult,

And you're a kid.
I don't belong in your world.

But this isn't good-bye.

You see,
when you guys are adults,

You'll... and they're gone.

Good work
on the double wedding plan.

You were right, they just needed
to hit their breaking point

In order to get to
what was really going on.

Yeah, I'm proud of myself.

That was some
devious maids- level scheming.

I mean, I've never actually seen
the show, but I assume

They're pretty devious?

Oh, yeah,
but just in maid stuff.

- Oh.
- Okay, okay.

So I may have just made friends
with all the busboys,

And they may have just invited
us to a secret underground

Latin karaoke club.

And I may
just have another scotch.

[singing piano man by billy Joel
in Spanish]

Whoo!

You think we could do

Islands in the stream?
Yes, we can.

- Ta-da!
- Everybody!

[all singing]
la la la la la

Why are we all not naked?

- All: Scooby!
- Yes!

You son of a bitch!

Sync and corrections by Squallounet
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0