All language subtitles for Manhattan Love Story s01e04 Its Complicated.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,237 Peter: Oh, that truck's going through the ice. 2 00:00:03,238 --> 00:00:05,706 No way that truck doesn't go through the ice. 3 00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:08,142 Dana: "Whale wars"? 4 00:00:08,143 --> 00:00:10,110 They're history's greatest wars 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,813 because they're history's greatest beasts. 6 00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:14,114 Peter: It made it?! 7 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,884 Man, they never fall through the ice. 8 00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:19,753 Now you're just watching fat, hairy men drive trucks. 9 00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,189 Dana: This is stupid. I'm turning it off. 10 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,291 Oops. Changed the channel instead. 11 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:25,926 Peter: Just turn it off. 12 00:00:25,927 --> 00:00:29,263 Go exercise, or at least watch someone else exercise. 13 00:00:29,264 --> 00:00:30,731 Dana: "The Bachelor." 14 00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:31,799 Bingo. 15 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,234 Peter: Ooh. "The Bachelor." Jackpot. 16 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:37,771 Dana: Take it to the suite, Ashley H. 17 00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,039 Peter: Oh, Ashley H., 18 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,642 do not go to the fantasy suite with Jerome! 19 00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:43,777 What did we say about making good choices? 20 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,412 - What an animal. - What an animal. 21 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:46,580 Woman: Thank you. 22 00:00:46,581 --> 00:00:49,717 Sync and corrections by awaqeded - www.addic7ed.com - 23 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,453 Idiot. 24 00:00:52,454 --> 00:00:55,322 How is it possible that you and Dana have not had sex yet? 25 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,725 There are lots of women I haven't had sex with. 26 00:00:57,726 --> 00:00:59,059 Peter: Well, maybe not lots. 27 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,694 Seriously, you once slept with a girl 28 00:01:00,695 --> 00:01:02,096 you knew less than 10 minutes. 29 00:01:02,097 --> 00:01:04,932 Perhaps you remember. She was my prom date! 30 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,522 Okay, you understand that no way embarrasses me, right? 31 00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,410 And how many times do I have to apologize for that? 32 00:01:09,411 --> 00:01:10,938 I was a different person back then. 33 00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:12,139 Was I, though, really? 34 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,033 I'm just saying, you know, you don't usually 35 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:15,340 take this long to close the deal. 36 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,244 Well, she's not a deal to close, all right? 37 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,412 We're taking our time. 38 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,580 Okay. Well, take less time. 39 00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,401 Remember when we forgot dad's birthday? 40 00:01:21,402 --> 00:01:24,451 We kept telling him, "your gift's on its way. 41 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,286 "It's being engraved. 42 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,287 "It's coming from a place 43 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,749 that's closed for a month for Ramadan." 44 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:29,429 Yeah. 45 00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:31,392 And then, finally, there was so much built up around it, 46 00:01:31,393 --> 00:01:33,727 we had to buy him a car so he wasn't disappointed. 47 00:01:33,728 --> 00:01:36,363 That's what's gonna happen with you and Dana. 48 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:38,603 - I'm gonna owe her a sex car? - Think about it. 49 00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:39,600 She's been fantasizing 50 00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:41,535 about having sex with you this entire time. 51 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:42,669 Women do that? 52 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,171 I have no idea. 53 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,340 In my mind, that's pretty much all they do. 54 00:01:46,341 --> 00:01:48,809 That and have kissing parties with each other. 55 00:01:50,078 --> 00:01:51,712 If you and Peter don't have sex soon, 56 00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:52,713 it's gonna get weird. 57 00:01:52,714 --> 00:01:54,048 You don't want to be one of those couples 58 00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:56,450 that wait too long to have sex. 59 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,118 Hasn't been that long. 60 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,288 I mean, a couple of dinners, some lunches, 61 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,705 a few weekend hangouts, a ride around Central Park. 62 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,426 And, oh, my God, how have we not had sex yet? 63 00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:06,760 A Quaker would have had sex by now. 64 00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:09,432 It's been five months since your last relationship, 65 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,086 and you guys were together for three years, 66 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,964 which means it's been three years and five months 67 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,396 since you've slept with someone new. 68 00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:15,269 Yikes. 69 00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,804 You're always really good at sex math. 70 00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:18,372 All I'm saying is if you're not careful, 71 00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:19,940 then you're gonna be in a relationship 72 00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:21,375 before you know if you're compatible, 73 00:02:21,376 --> 00:02:22,709 and then the sex is horrible, 74 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,043 and you don't want to blow off the relationship because of sex, 75 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:27,414 but sex is, like, such an important part of any relationship. 76 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,549 Wait, why is our sex horrible? 77 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,150 Maybe it's horrible or maybe it's great. 78 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,086 I'm just saying, you should find out pretty fast. 79 00:02:32,087 --> 00:02:34,254 We're going to Lao Tzu tonight for oysters. 80 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,789 Oh, it's on. 81 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:37,257 Oh, it's way on. 82 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:40,194 And the sex is going to be fantastic. 83 00:02:40,195 --> 00:02:43,530 Dana: And if it's not, I'm going to pretend it is. 84 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,200 - I'm telling you, that was Jason Biggs. - Don't be ridiculous! 85 00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:49,536 Why would Jason Biggs be staring at a pigeon with binoculars? 86 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,004 He's a birder. 87 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,172 You're a birder. 88 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,508 - Yeah, that makes no sense. - [Chuckles] 89 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:55,642 Susanne! 90 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,144 Amy! 91 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,812 - Hi. How are you? - [Both smooch] 92 00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,948 How are you? How's Harry? 93 00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:04,351 Ah, this naughty, little boy kept me up all night last night. 94 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,686 So did this naughty, little boy. 95 00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,688 Not in front of the baby. 96 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:08,822 [Coos] Aww, he's so cute. 97 00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,324 - So cute. - Look at him. 98 00:03:10,325 --> 00:03:11,825 Aww, he's pointing at me. 99 00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:14,561 Oh, yeah, Harry's an early pointer. 100 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,029 Is that a thing? 101 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,798 Yeah, it's supposed to be a sign of intelligence. 102 00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:19,266 So smart and cute. 103 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,435 - So smart and cute. - Ohh! 104 00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:22,569 - Bye. - Bye. 105 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,737 Come on, my smarty. 106 00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,906 That kid is the worst. 107 00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:27,541 What? 108 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,476 What's the matter with you? That baby is adorable. 109 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,311 Oh! And the way he points! 110 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:35,883 Like some baby wizard sent here by a wise alien race. 111 00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,417 So glad we're not those people. 112 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,586 Well, we're gonna be, specifically in seven years 113 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,355 because if we wait any longer than that, 114 00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:43,290 then we'll be super old when they're teenagers. 115 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,025 Totally fine with that 'cause then they'll be like, 116 00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,360 "dad, I want a car," and I'll be like, 117 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:47,882 "I can't even hear you... I'm super old." 118 00:03:47,883 --> 00:03:50,831 David, look into your future. It's filled with babies. 119 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,432 Wait, babies? 120 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,268 As in plural? 121 00:03:54,269 --> 00:03:55,903 Honey? 122 00:03:55,904 --> 00:03:57,638 [Groans] 123 00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:59,706 Do you really not want kids? 124 00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:05,045 Can you keep a secret? 125 00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:06,513 Amy's my best friend. 126 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,315 Anything you tell me, I will tell her. 127 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,047 Really? 128 00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:10,984 You're gonna tell her something she doesn't want to hear 129 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,920 and then end up in the middle of a fight? 130 00:04:12,921 --> 00:04:15,489 Yes, I can keep a secret. 131 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,791 I love babies. I want them now. 132 00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,792 Forget a bun in the oven. 133 00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,127 I want to open a bakery down there. 134 00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:21,762 - Ew. - You know what I mean. 135 00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:23,730 I... I don't. 136 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,732 I just... I don't want to wait as long as she does. 137 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,834 Why do you pretend that you hate them? 138 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,603 Well, you know the only way to get Amy to do anything 139 00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,083 is to convince her that it was her idea. 140 00:04:31,084 --> 00:04:34,374 I know from experience it is impossible to convince Amy 141 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,144 to do anything that she doesn't want to do. 142 00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:39,179 Is it? 143 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,747 "It's complicated"? 144 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,250 No, I'm sorry. It's simple. I'm not gonna go see that. 145 00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:44,585 Meryl Streep is a legend. 146 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:45,819 Okay, well, let's go rent "Silkwood" 147 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,300 so I can at least see her boobs. 148 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,857 Pick Alec Baldwin. Pick Alec Baldwin. 149 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,928 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're building a kitchen. 150 00:04:54,929 --> 00:04:56,163 Shh. 151 00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:59,466 A stunning, stunning kitchen. 152 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,768 Oh, that's good. 153 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,370 Can I steal that? 154 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,339 Ah, it's not even that effective, really. 155 00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,807 Now I want it more than anything. 156 00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:09,509 Exactly. Not as dumb as I seem. 157 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,511 [Chuckles] No, you couldn't be. 158 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,947 Joke all you want. I'm getting babies. 159 00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:15,916 It's kind of awesome you're into that so much. 160 00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,150 Oh, yeah. You kidding me? 161 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,752 Have you ever smelled a baby's head? 162 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:22,723 It's like fresh bread and dreams of the future. 163 00:05:22,724 --> 00:05:24,825 And what do dreams of the future smell like? 164 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:26,126 Also fresh bread. 165 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:29,062 You don't want babies to eat them, do you? 166 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:30,697 We're babysitting tonight. 167 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,665 What?! 168 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,133 Yeah, I just talked to Suzanne. 169 00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:35,068 I offered her the night out while we watch Harry. 170 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,737 Harry the finger-pointing genius? 171 00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:37,804 No. No. 172 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,940 Doesn't he have a father who can watch him? 173 00:05:39,941 --> 00:05:42,042 No, his mom's S.B.C... Single by choice. 174 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,277 Not by her choice. 175 00:05:43,278 --> 00:05:45,879 By the choice of all the men on this planet. 176 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,782 You are gonna watch this baby and hang out with this baby 177 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,550 and fall in love with this baby. 178 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,886 We're gonna have a baby. 179 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:54,521 You can make me spend time with it, 180 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,623 but you can't make me like it. 181 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,029 [Indistinct conversations] 182 00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:03,530 This is a nice place. 183 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,198 Yeah, it's pretty great, right? 184 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,334 Peter: So great that it doesn't really matter 185 00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,468 how I perform later. 186 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,237 Why are you even thinking that? 187 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,406 Hi. 188 00:06:12,407 --> 00:06:14,041 Cooper. Party of two. 189 00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,710 Great, just let me know when you're entire party has arrived. 190 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,979 Oh, well, let's see. 191 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,947 One. Two. 192 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,717 Our entire party has arrived. 193 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:26,153 Wonderful. 194 00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:28,855 Unfortunately, your reservation has been pushed. 195 00:06:29,791 --> 00:06:30,924 A certain 8-year-old celebrity's 196 00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,759 having her birthday party here tonight. 197 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,094 We're very excited. 198 00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:37,397 We might be able to squeeze you in around 10:00... ish. 199 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,399 - Is it Suri Cruise? - I couldn't say. 200 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,901 It's got to be Suri Cruise. 201 00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,869 So, what do you want to do? 202 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,338 10:00 dinner, naked by 12:30. 203 00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,106 I'm never my best after midnight. 204 00:06:46,107 --> 00:06:47,407 Let's go somewhere else. 205 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,076 Yeah, but this place is on your list. 206 00:06:49,077 --> 00:06:50,477 Ah, so is seeing a celebrity. 207 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,779 Could I just... 208 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,382 Could I peek at Suri? 209 00:06:55,383 --> 00:06:59,753 Whoever the celebrity might be, she's not available for peeking. 210 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,254 I... 211 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,223 Dana: Really want to have sex. 212 00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:04,725 Yeah, let's go someplace else. 213 00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:06,193 You can get good oysters anywhere. 214 00:07:06,194 --> 00:07:07,194 - Yeah? - Yeah. 215 00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:09,663 Yeah. Yeah. 216 00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:13,567 Come on. 217 00:07:13,568 --> 00:07:16,328 - I'm just... I know she's here somewhere. - I know. 218 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,359 - What's up with hostesses? - Oh, I know. 219 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,375 It's like you put someone behind a podium and what? 220 00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:23,243 They're all of a sudden drunk with power? 221 00:07:23,244 --> 00:07:24,911 Oysters. That's what we were looking for. 222 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,913 Hey! We did it. 223 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,950 - Okay. - [Chuckles] 224 00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:34,651 Who's a cute, little baby? 225 00:07:34,652 --> 00:07:36,120 You're a cute, little baby. 226 00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,331 Who's having fun? We are. 227 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,056 Ohh. 228 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,357 How's that bottle coming? 229 00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:42,059 Incoming. 230 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,327 Thank you. 231 00:07:43,328 --> 00:07:46,805 Wait! I think you have to test it on yourself first. 232 00:07:46,806 --> 00:07:48,314 - Oh, right. - No, no, no. On your wrist. 233 00:07:48,315 --> 00:07:50,614 I think. I saw it in a movie once. 234 00:07:50,615 --> 00:07:51,716 Totally don't care. 235 00:07:51,717 --> 00:07:53,050 What am I looking for? 236 00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:54,118 Did it burn you? 237 00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:55,252 What if it had? 238 00:07:55,253 --> 00:07:57,221 You would have let me put scalding milk on my arm? 239 00:07:57,222 --> 00:07:58,322 Better than in the baby. 240 00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:00,458 [Harry cries] 241 00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:03,728 Oh, it's making that unholy noise again. 242 00:08:03,729 --> 00:08:05,396 Oh, it's fine, David. 243 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,064 This is... this is part of their charm. 244 00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,066 It's... just what babies do, you know? 245 00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:13,971 We're having babies. [Chuckles] 246 00:08:13,972 --> 00:08:16,941 Suri Cruise, you have failed to ruin our night. 247 00:08:16,942 --> 00:08:19,110 Not for lack of trying. 248 00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,745 [Chuckles] 249 00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:23,180 So, you want to go back to my place? 250 00:08:23,181 --> 00:08:26,250 I think that's a capital idea. 251 00:08:26,251 --> 00:08:27,718 [Chuckles] Just say "yes," Dana. 252 00:08:27,719 --> 00:08:30,487 Don't make it weird. You need this. 253 00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:40,097 Peter: One sex car, coming up. [Whistles] 254 00:08:45,704 --> 00:08:47,972 [Stomach groans] 255 00:08:47,973 --> 00:08:52,209 Ohh, ooh. That's a bad feeling. 256 00:08:55,814 --> 00:08:58,916 Oh, okay, seriously, why do we even feed you? 257 00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:01,886 Why not just curdle some milk and pour it down my back? 258 00:09:01,887 --> 00:09:03,387 David, can you hold the baby? 259 00:09:03,388 --> 00:09:05,356 What? Again? 260 00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:07,011 Yes, again. Let's go. 261 00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:08,092 [Sighs] 262 00:09:08,093 --> 00:09:09,293 [Sighs] 263 00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:12,630 I'm just gonna go burn everything that I'm wearing. 264 00:09:12,631 --> 00:09:13,998 - Well... - [Sighs] 265 00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:17,868 Hurry up, 'cause I don't know what I'm supposed to do with... 266 00:09:17,869 --> 00:09:20,638 [Sniffs] 267 00:09:20,639 --> 00:09:22,273 So good. 268 00:09:22,274 --> 00:09:23,941 [Horn honks] 269 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,745 Dana: I bet Suri Cruise doesn't have a date this hot. 270 00:09:27,746 --> 00:09:29,713 Ew. That's a bad thought. 271 00:09:29,714 --> 00:09:31,649 Peter: Oh, just power through. 272 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:35,219 You can do this. Breathe deep. Focus. 273 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:38,322 He's breathing kind of heavy, and we just started. 274 00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:41,492 Am I that sexy, or is he having a heart attack? 275 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,861 Okay, I'm guessing I got 20 minutes tops 276 00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,163 before things go all hot lunch on me. 277 00:09:46,164 --> 00:09:47,798 Got most of the foreplay taken care of in the cab. 278 00:09:47,799 --> 00:09:50,300 That's good. Thank you, potholes. 279 00:09:52,137 --> 00:09:53,771 [TV chatter] 280 00:09:53,772 --> 00:09:55,773 - Chloe: Hey, kids. - Oh! 281 00:09:55,774 --> 00:09:56,941 Izzy: What's up? 282 00:09:56,942 --> 00:09:58,676 [Exhales sharply] Hi. 283 00:09:58,677 --> 00:09:59,977 Hi. I'm... 284 00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:01,478 Chloe, Dana. Dana, Chloe. 285 00:10:01,479 --> 00:10:03,747 I'm Izzy, straight up. Not short for anything. 286 00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,550 - [Sighs] - And you are Peter's sister? 287 00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:07,551 Mm-hmm. 288 00:10:07,552 --> 00:10:08,767 Oh, well, uh, she's half-sibling. 289 00:10:08,768 --> 00:10:10,254 So, uh, different mothers. 290 00:10:10,255 --> 00:10:11,755 About what? Four years apart? 291 00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:13,390 - Yeah, four. - There you go. 292 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:15,192 All caught up. Huzzah. 293 00:10:15,193 --> 00:10:16,660 All right, Chloe. See you later. 294 00:10:16,661 --> 00:10:17,962 Wait, wait. Wait, wait. I'm just... 295 00:10:17,963 --> 00:10:19,964 I'm just getting to know your friend, Peter. 296 00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,332 So, you two live in this... 297 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,801 No. No, she doesn't live here. I live here. 298 00:10:23,802 --> 00:10:25,736 I just have the unfortunate distinction 299 00:10:25,737 --> 00:10:27,271 of living right near work, 300 00:10:27,272 --> 00:10:30,841 so my entire family uses this place as a crash pad. 301 00:10:30,842 --> 00:10:32,209 Surprise. [Chuckles] 302 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,845 Okay, I'm gonna go freshen up. 303 00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:35,880 It was nice to meet you. 304 00:10:35,881 --> 00:10:37,047 Yeah, you, too. 305 00:10:37,048 --> 00:10:39,683 Dana: What is "freshening up"? 306 00:10:39,684 --> 00:10:43,020 Guess I'll just go in there and hang out for a while. 307 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:44,488 Come on. 308 00:10:44,489 --> 00:10:46,757 Ooh. 309 00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:48,325 - You don't look good. - [Breathing heavily] 310 00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:49,960 - What? - You're all sweaty. 311 00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:53,397 No, no, no. This is just my pre-sex sheen. 312 00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:54,565 You look green. 313 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,033 Yeah, doesn't he look green to you? 314 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,835 Ha. Green like this bike that I'm customizing. 315 00:10:57,836 --> 00:10:59,303 - It's... - Nobody cares about you, Izzy! 316 00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:01,639 - Okay. Okay. - Sorry. It's just... 317 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,575 Green, sweaty man gonna get sexy tonight. 318 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,210 - Yeah. - Ohh. [Stomach groans] 319 00:11:06,211 --> 00:11:07,878 - Peter: Oh, dear God. - [Laughs] Okay. 320 00:11:07,879 --> 00:11:10,347 Nope. [Exhales sharply] 321 00:11:10,348 --> 00:11:11,982 - [Harry crying] - hush, little baby 322 00:11:11,983 --> 00:11:13,450 don't say a word 323 00:11:13,451 --> 00:11:16,787 Amy's gonna buy you whatever you fricking want 324 00:11:16,788 --> 00:11:19,757 so you stop wailing like a wounded animal 325 00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:21,425 Soft and comfy, soft and comfy, 326 00:11:21,426 --> 00:11:22,726 soft and comfy, soft and comfy. 327 00:11:22,727 --> 00:11:23,961 There. 328 00:11:23,962 --> 00:11:26,163 It worked. 329 00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:28,165 The stupid baby's happy. 330 00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:31,268 Uh, congratulations, David. You win. 331 00:11:31,269 --> 00:11:32,903 Yay! I never win. 332 00:11:32,904 --> 00:11:34,471 Wait, what did I win? 333 00:11:34,472 --> 00:11:37,341 Kids... they suck. We're not doing them. 334 00:11:37,342 --> 00:11:39,076 S-say what, now? 335 00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:41,078 No kids. Ever. 336 00:11:41,079 --> 00:11:44,681 I'm out, and you are gonna get snipped, just to be safe. 337 00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:50,988 - [Sighs] - [Harry coos] 338 00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:52,423 I'm not gonna lie to you, Harry. 339 00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:54,158 You kind of let me down tonight. 340 00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,662 I can't stay mad at you. 341 00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:01,031 Oh! You're so cute! 342 00:12:01,032 --> 00:12:03,000 I got your nose. 343 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,936 [Groans] 344 00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:08,105 [Exhales sharply] [Stomach groans] 345 00:12:08,106 --> 00:12:10,107 Oh, God. 346 00:12:10,108 --> 00:12:11,442 Hi. 347 00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:13,210 Hey. 348 00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:20,050 Your sister seems nice. 349 00:12:20,051 --> 00:12:21,891 Oh, yeah. Let's... talk about that later. 350 00:12:27,726 --> 00:12:31,228 Dana: Well, here it goes. Brand-new, full sex. 351 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,632 [Shoe thuds] 352 00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:43,107 [Exhales sharply] 353 00:12:43,108 --> 00:12:44,908 You... [Retches] 354 00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:47,611 [Vomit splashes] [Groans] 355 00:12:52,341 --> 00:12:54,575 I am gonna go freshen up. 356 00:12:54,576 --> 00:12:56,344 Yeah. Okay. 357 00:12:56,345 --> 00:12:59,947 At least now I know what freshening up is for. 358 00:13:06,822 --> 00:13:08,623 That's it. We're cursed. 359 00:13:08,624 --> 00:13:10,091 Things are always gonna get in the way. 360 00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:11,192 We're going to drift apart. 361 00:13:11,193 --> 00:13:12,660 And then one day, when we're 80, 362 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:13,622 we'll see each other on a train, 363 00:13:13,623 --> 00:13:14,564 we'll sit down next to each other 364 00:13:14,565 --> 00:13:15,636 and talk about what could have been. 365 00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:17,447 He'll invite me to the bathroom for a quickie, 366 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,833 I'll accept, and the train 367 00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:21,602 will plunge off a bridge and into a ravine. 368 00:13:21,603 --> 00:13:23,705 Peter: Good lord, that wasn't a sex car, Peter. 369 00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:25,973 That was a sex Hindenburg. 370 00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:27,410 I got to admit, though... my stomach 371 00:13:27,411 --> 00:13:30,578 wasn't the organ I was afraid was gonna let me down. 372 00:13:33,248 --> 00:13:34,716 How you doing? 373 00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,818 [Groans, chuckles] 374 00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:38,786 Top notch. 375 00:13:38,787 --> 00:13:43,391 So, I'm gonna walk you down and, uh, put you in a cab. 376 00:13:43,392 --> 00:13:45,326 Which I think I can do that. 377 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:49,731 And if I can't, just leave me there on the street to die. 378 00:13:49,732 --> 00:13:51,065 [Both chuckle] 379 00:13:51,066 --> 00:13:54,102 I think I can walk myself out. 380 00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:55,103 Okay. 381 00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:58,406 I can stay if you want me to. 382 00:13:58,407 --> 00:14:01,109 You... want to still... 383 00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,878 - I was just offering to stay a while... - Oh. 384 00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,913 ...to make sure that you were okay. 385 00:14:05,914 --> 00:14:07,415 Right. 386 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:10,551 But if you want to still... 387 00:14:10,552 --> 00:14:12,453 Dana: Please don't want to. 388 00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:14,555 Uh, yeah. 389 00:14:14,556 --> 00:14:16,524 I mean, I suppose I could. 390 00:14:16,525 --> 00:14:19,427 Peter: Barely. 391 00:14:19,428 --> 00:14:20,561 Great. 392 00:14:20,562 --> 00:14:23,164 Okay. 393 00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:24,632 So, I'm gonna go in the bathroom 394 00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:26,601 and brush my teeth with bleach... 395 00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:27,902 [Chuckles] 396 00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:30,505 ...and then come back out here, and we'll... 397 00:14:30,506 --> 00:14:33,408 [Inhales sharply] We'll do this thing. 398 00:14:33,409 --> 00:14:35,343 Yay. 399 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:37,478 - Yay. - Whoo. 400 00:14:37,479 --> 00:14:38,546 [Stomach groans] 401 00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:41,282 Dana: Wait, what's that? 402 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:43,551 That's not good. That's not good at... 403 00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:44,952 Sweet fancy. 404 00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,421 [Coughing, retching] 405 00:14:46,422 --> 00:14:49,882 We'll be one of those fabulous, childless couples 406 00:14:49,883 --> 00:14:51,851 with super-exciting lives. 407 00:14:51,852 --> 00:14:54,254 We'll keep an apartment in Paris. 408 00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:56,556 We'll make everybody with children hate their children. 409 00:14:56,557 --> 00:14:59,125 - It'll be amazing. - You finally get me. 410 00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:01,094 Yeah, no toddler birthday parties. 411 00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:04,030 None of that kiddie, plastic crap all over the place. 412 00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:06,766 Stop! 413 00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:09,402 I have to tell you something. 414 00:15:11,705 --> 00:15:14,340 [Sniffs deeply] 415 00:15:14,341 --> 00:15:15,975 I want children. 416 00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:17,910 Like, a lot of children. 417 00:15:17,911 --> 00:15:19,846 I want this place to look like a damn orphanage. 418 00:15:19,847 --> 00:15:21,014 And when your womb gives out, 419 00:15:21,015 --> 00:15:22,215 we're gonna fly around the world. 420 00:15:22,216 --> 00:15:23,616 We're gonna collect them like stamps... 421 00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:25,918 like precious, little, lovable stamps. 422 00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:27,453 I knew it! 423 00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:28,521 You did? 424 00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,189 I saw you sniff that baby's head earlier. 425 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,658 Why did you pretend to not like it? 426 00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,559 'Cause I want them soon. 427 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,927 I want them in seven years. 428 00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:36,162 I want them sooner than that. 429 00:15:36,163 --> 00:15:40,066 And I thought it might help a little 430 00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:43,169 if you thought that having them earlier was your idea. 431 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,671 Why would that help? 432 00:15:44,672 --> 00:15:47,240 'Cause you tend to like your ideas a lot better than mine. 433 00:15:47,241 --> 00:15:48,708 Because I have better ideas than you do. 434 00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:50,510 Which is why I wanted this to be your idea. 435 00:15:50,511 --> 00:15:51,978 How long have you been doing this? 436 00:15:51,979 --> 00:15:54,747 - This is, uh... - Mm-hmm. 437 00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:56,316 ...the first time. 438 00:15:56,317 --> 00:15:57,450 How long, David? 439 00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:59,152 How long have you been pretending 440 00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:01,020 to hate stuff that you actually love? 441 00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:02,455 - I don't... - The electric slide. 442 00:16:02,456 --> 00:16:05,058 [Scoffs] Leather pants. 443 00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:07,327 Does this explain "It's Complicated"?! 444 00:16:07,328 --> 00:16:09,228 How did she not choose Alec Baldwin?! 445 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,630 They had so much history! 446 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:12,732 Is it hot in here? 447 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:14,033 Yeah, it is. 448 00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:16,836 It's like we're on the surface of the sun right now. 449 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,574 Open a window. 450 00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:25,078 Yes. 451 00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,713 Window. 452 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,681 So smart. 453 00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:33,252 [Groans] 454 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,555 Okay. 455 00:16:37,558 --> 00:16:39,392 [Groans] 456 00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:44,297 [Grunts] 457 00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:45,630 I can't. I can't. I tried. 458 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,266 - Oh, that's okay. - I tried so brave and true. 459 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,235 You saw. 460 00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,037 Mm. 461 00:16:52,038 --> 00:16:54,973 I couldn't find a clean washcloth. 462 00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:57,842 So these are your underpants. 463 00:16:59,345 --> 00:17:00,946 Are they clean or dirty? 464 00:17:00,947 --> 00:17:03,782 Does it really matter right now? 465 00:17:03,783 --> 00:17:06,885 Not at all. 466 00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:09,855 [Grunts] 467 00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,390 All right, hold it. 468 00:17:11,391 --> 00:17:13,525 Hold it? 469 00:17:13,526 --> 00:17:15,327 Let it go. 470 00:17:15,328 --> 00:17:17,529 [Exhales deeply] 471 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,931 Both: early in the morning 472 00:17:19,932 --> 00:17:21,900 I wake up with you 473 00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:24,336 early in the morning 474 00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:26,638 we throw up our food 475 00:17:26,639 --> 00:17:28,874 later in the evening 476 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,642 we throw up, too 477 00:17:30,643 --> 00:17:33,111 evening, in the evening 478 00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:35,447 we throw up our food [Laughs] 479 00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:39,651 All that I ask for is to keep down my food 480 00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:42,320 Glorious. 481 00:17:42,321 --> 00:17:43,955 I have a question. 482 00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:46,591 Hmm? 483 00:17:46,592 --> 00:17:48,727 Why did you stay 484 00:17:48,728 --> 00:17:51,163 after I threw up on you. 485 00:17:51,164 --> 00:17:54,933 Most girls would have just taken off. 486 00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:57,202 I considered it. 487 00:17:57,203 --> 00:18:00,806 And I almost did. 488 00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:02,274 But then... 489 00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:04,876 Then what? 490 00:18:04,877 --> 00:18:07,312 [Inhales sharply] 491 00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:09,281 I don't want to be one of those couples 492 00:18:09,282 --> 00:18:11,716 that misses all their chances 493 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:15,954 and that fate keeps screwing with. 494 00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:20,525 It's like that last scene in "remains of the day," 495 00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:23,628 where this old man is looking over these waves, 496 00:18:23,629 --> 00:18:26,097 wondering what could have been. 497 00:18:26,098 --> 00:18:28,700 God, yeah, that was beautiful. 498 00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:30,368 Peter: Never saw it. Never will. 499 00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:33,405 [Sighs] I don't think we're gonna miss our chance. 500 00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:35,173 You don't? 501 00:18:35,174 --> 00:18:36,975 I don't. 502 00:18:36,976 --> 00:18:39,945 And last night was the most intimate 503 00:18:39,946 --> 00:18:42,948 non-sexual encounter I've ever had. 504 00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:45,884 - [Laughs] Really? - Yeah. 505 00:18:45,885 --> 00:18:47,352 I know way more about you now 506 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:50,355 than if we had just had sex last night. 507 00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:53,525 Me, too. 508 00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:57,796 In fact... 509 00:18:57,797 --> 00:19:01,132 You think... we should... 510 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:02,634 I do. 511 00:19:02,635 --> 00:19:05,403 Can we handle that? 512 00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:08,907 I mean, it might not be my best work. 513 00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,009 I'm gonna do that thing where I just lay there and look pretty. 514 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,177 - I'm fine with that. - Yeah. 515 00:19:12,178 --> 00:19:14,479 - [Laughs] - Yeah? Okay. 516 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,481 - We should brush. - We should brush our teeth. 517 00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:19,540 - I'm gonna... Yeah, I'll go first. - You want to go first? Okay. 518 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,123 How you doing? 519 00:19:29,996 --> 00:19:32,523 There's a naked man in your bathroom, 520 00:19:32,524 --> 00:19:34,599 and I hope it's your father, which means I've seen him naked 521 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,501 before I've seen you naked, so I'm just going home. 522 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:37,836 Not saying I'm giving up forever, 523 00:19:37,837 --> 00:19:39,004 but I'm giving up for today. 524 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,840 Thank you for dinner and goodbye. 525 00:19:41,841 --> 00:19:44,676 Dad! 526 00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:49,398 I got to admit, you making me think it was my idea 527 00:19:49,399 --> 00:19:51,845 is a side of you I haven't seen. 528 00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:52,846 Bold move. 529 00:19:52,847 --> 00:19:54,375 [Chuckles] Thank you. 530 00:19:54,376 --> 00:19:56,811 - Never do it again. - Not a chance. 531 00:19:57,708 --> 00:20:01,849 This baby's horrible, but ours will be great, won't they? 532 00:20:03,016 --> 00:20:05,417 Yeah. They will. 533 00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:07,755 And we're starting soon. 534 00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:08,923 - Five years. - Two. 535 00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:10,091 - Four. - Three. 536 00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:12,193 That was my plan all along. 537 00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:13,528 [Knock on door] 538 00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:16,864 Oh. That's Suzanne. 539 00:20:17,986 --> 00:20:19,400 Go ahead. 540 00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:26,007 [Sniffs deeply] 541 00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:27,441 - That's foul. - Yeah. 542 00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:28,967 - That's not our problem anymore. - I don't know what is... 543 00:20:28,968 --> 00:20:30,111 - What did you feed him? - So it's... I don't... 544 00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:32,513 Seriously, get her in here now. Please hurry. 545 00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:37,318 Sync and corrections by awaqeded - www.addic7ed.com - 546 00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:41,918 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38663

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.