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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,164 --> 00:00:03,999 [alarm blaring] 2 00:00:06,787 --> 00:00:07,869 [moans] 3 00:00:10,841 --> 00:00:12,958 - Whoop! - [alarm dies out] 4 00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:14,092 [playful music] 5 00:00:14,127 --> 00:00:15,593 [crow squawks] 6 00:00:15,629 --> 00:00:16,795 [thunder booming] 7 00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:18,680 [crow squawks] 8 00:00:18,765 --> 00:00:20,515 [sighs] 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,766 10 00:00:21,802 --> 00:00:25,854 [yelping] 11 00:00:25,939 --> 00:00:29,307 12 00:00:29,393 --> 00:00:30,525 [slow-motion whooshing] 13 00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:32,027 - [metal crashing] - [cat shrieks] 14 00:00:34,982 --> 00:00:36,364 Dumbass. 15 00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:41,152 16 00:00:41,238 --> 00:00:43,121 - Oh. - [electricity crackling] 17 00:00:43,156 --> 00:00:44,622 [sighs] 18 00:00:44,658 --> 00:00:46,574 - Puma! - [puma snarls] 19 00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:49,794 - Ooh! Aah! Get... no, no! - [puma growling] 20 00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:51,663 [struggling] 21 00:00:51,715 --> 00:00:53,214 Why? 22 00:00:53,300 --> 00:01:00,005 23 00:01:23,358 --> 00:01:26,164 So how was your day? 24 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,533 Pretty good. 25 00:01:28,618 --> 00:01:31,619 [downtempo electronic music] 26 00:01:31,705 --> 00:01:32,537 27 00:01:32,589 --> 00:01:34,039 Ah! 28 00:01:34,091 --> 00:01:37,242 29 00:01:37,294 --> 00:01:39,427 [squeaks] 30 00:01:39,513 --> 00:01:41,012 31 00:01:41,048 --> 00:01:42,514 [growls] 32 00:01:42,549 --> 00:01:49,304 33 00:01:58,315 --> 00:02:01,340 [kisses] All right, I have to go to work. 34 00:02:01,365 --> 00:02:02,614 - No. - Yes. 35 00:02:02,869 --> 00:02:03,735 - Yes, got to. - [kissing] 36 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,370 - Starfish. I got to do it. - Okay. 37 00:02:05,405 --> 00:02:07,739 - Don't leave me. - I got to do it. Sorry. 38 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,741 [groans] 39 00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:12,243 I think you still have some clean shirts in the Josh drawer. 40 00:02:12,295 --> 00:02:13,545 Hey. 41 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,046 Told you. 42 00:02:15,082 --> 00:02:16,289 Can I have some of this coffee? 43 00:02:16,314 --> 00:02:17,549 Yeah, of course. You can take the rest. 44 00:02:17,584 --> 00:02:19,918 Mmm, thank you. 45 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,336 Aw, look at that. 46 00:02:21,421 --> 00:02:23,054 Amazing. 47 00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,337 Um, hey, did you get that email I sent you 48 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,808 - about how cute you are? - You're cute. 49 00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:27,975 - No, you're cute. - You're cute. 50 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,223 - You're cute, Mrs. Cute. - Shut up. You're cute. 51 00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:31,257 You're cute. I think you're cute, Mrs. Cute. 52 00:02:31,282 --> 00:02:31,920 - Me? - Yes. 53 00:02:31,945 --> 00:02:34,576 - Really? Thank you. - You're so cute. [kissing] 54 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:37,318 [babbling and giggling] 55 00:02:37,404 --> 00:02:39,466 Um, wha... uh, are you sure 56 00:02:39,491 --> 00:02:40,733 that your roommates are, like, 57 00:02:40,758 --> 00:02:42,440 cool with me being here this much? 58 00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:44,359 Oh, my God, yeah, no, I've known these guys, like, forever. 59 00:02:44,444 --> 00:02:45,420 - They're super cool. - Yeah? 60 00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:46,611 - Yeah. - Okay, great. 61 00:02:46,663 --> 00:02:48,830 Hey, top of the morning, uh, roommates. 62 00:02:48,915 --> 00:02:52,417 Or, uh, Megan, should I say "top of the Megan to you"? 63 00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:57,122 Uh, Robin, Robin, 64 00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:59,795 sorry again about last night, about our moment. 65 00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:02,877 Um, you really got to lock that bathroom door, buddy. 66 00:03:02,963 --> 00:03:04,295 I-I should have knocked, 67 00:03:04,347 --> 00:03:05,964 but you should have locked. 68 00:03:06,049 --> 00:03:08,683 Uh, it's a learning experience for us both. 69 00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:11,226 Uh, 70 00:03:11,251 --> 00:03:12,804 Chris, all right, bring it in, buddy. 71 00:03:12,889 --> 00:03:14,722 Give me one. One. 72 00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:15,940 Two. 73 00:03:15,976 --> 00:03:18,026 Three. Four. 74 00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:19,611 It's four. There's always four. 75 00:03:19,988 --> 00:03:21,062 Well, it's okay. It's tricky. 76 00:03:21,148 --> 00:03:22,147 We'll figure it out tonight. 77 00:03:22,232 --> 00:03:23,676 Uh, all right, guys. 78 00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:24,817 - [kisses] - Bye. 79 00:03:25,068 --> 00:03:26,985 [footsteps depart] 80 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,319 [door shuts] 81 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,074 What? 82 00:03:30,099 --> 00:03:31,489 [tense marimba music] You know what. 83 00:03:31,575 --> 00:03:33,241 He's here all the time, Lucy. 84 00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:34,492 Yeah, he's my boyfriend. 85 00:03:34,578 --> 00:03:36,077 Yeah, well, we're your friends. 86 00:03:36,163 --> 00:03:37,378 You can't just let boyfriends come in here 87 00:03:37,464 --> 00:03:38,663 and stay as long as they want. 88 00:03:38,748 --> 00:03:40,048 What do you have against him? 89 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:41,549 He eats all our food. 90 00:03:41,635 --> 00:03:43,145 He drinks all our coffee. 91 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:44,768 He uses all our toilet paper. 92 00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,337 He's a drain on our resources. 93 00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:47,805 Okay, I think you're overreacting. 94 00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:48,994 - Overreacting? - Yeah. 95 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,191 He's not on the lease. 96 00:03:50,216 --> 00:03:52,300 That means he's living here illegally. 97 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,229 You... come on, you guys aren't 98 00:03:54,254 --> 00:03:56,955 gonna make this a big thing, are you? 99 00:03:57,067 --> 00:04:01,269 - _ - [dramatic music] 100 00:04:01,354 --> 00:04:03,154 Tough talk today from apartment leaders 101 00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:05,356 who are calling for the deportation of boyfriends 102 00:04:05,442 --> 00:04:07,742 living illegally in unit 3R. 103 00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,465 - I'm joined by Megan. - Hi. 104 00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:12,407 Megan, why is this such a hot-button issue for you? 105 00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:15,033 Well, Brad, I love our apartment. 106 00:04:15,058 --> 00:04:18,526 I think it is the greatest apartment in the world. 107 00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:20,328 But if we don't start cracking down 108 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:22,247 on these undocumented boyfriends, 109 00:04:22,332 --> 00:04:24,666 then pretty soon, I tell you what, 110 00:04:24,718 --> 00:04:26,528 we're not gonna have an apartment left. 111 00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:27,919 Now, Megan, I agree with you, 112 00:04:28,005 --> 00:04:29,398 but how would you respond to those who 113 00:04:29,423 --> 00:04:32,724 claim that boyfriends make the apartment stronger? 114 00:04:32,976 --> 00:04:36,213 Look, this might not sound politically correct, 115 00:04:36,238 --> 00:04:38,371 but let's be honest, we're not getting 116 00:04:38,396 --> 00:04:40,363 the best and the brightest here. 117 00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:43,351 We're getting the vermin, the criminals. 118 00:04:43,403 --> 00:04:46,655 And that is why, effective immediately, 119 00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:48,607 our apartment will be taking steps 120 00:04:48,692 --> 00:04:50,242 to secure its borders. 121 00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:52,327 [sinister music] 122 00:04:52,362 --> 00:04:54,863 - Oh, man. - Oh, come on. 123 00:04:54,948 --> 00:04:55,864 [sighs] 124 00:04:55,949 --> 00:04:58,033 Hi. 125 00:04:58,085 --> 00:04:59,918 She's on the lease. Let her through. 126 00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,856 Thank... thank you, sir. Thank you. 127 00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:02,921 - Whoa! - Ah. 128 00:05:02,946 --> 00:05:04,226 Not you, illegal. 129 00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:05,659 - Are you kidding me? - Okay. 130 00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:07,555 It's... it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 131 00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,071 I'll just, uh... 132 00:05:09,096 --> 00:05:10,712 I'll go to the movies or something; it's fine. 133 00:05:10,764 --> 00:05:12,264 No, you know what? What Megan's doing is wrong. 134 00:05:12,349 --> 00:05:13,632 I'm gonna fix this. You stay right here. 135 00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:15,550 - Okay. - Right here, Josh. 136 00:05:15,602 --> 00:05:16,518 Move! 137 00:05:16,553 --> 00:05:18,053 Okay. 138 00:05:18,138 --> 00:05:19,229 I can't believe you guys are doing this. 139 00:05:19,254 --> 00:05:20,803 This is so hypocritical. 140 00:05:21,058 --> 00:05:22,607 Chris, what about Ted? 141 00:05:23,248 --> 00:05:25,777 Ted is here on a three-day sex visa, okay? 142 00:05:25,862 --> 00:05:27,729 He comes in, he does his job, and then he leaves. 143 00:05:27,814 --> 00:05:29,205 What is your problem with Josh? 144 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,232 If you just give him a shot... 145 00:05:30,257 --> 00:05:31,998 He doesn't even speak the language, Luce. 146 00:05:32,023 --> 00:05:33,322 When we're all watching "The Bachelor," 147 00:05:33,347 --> 00:05:35,964 he's like, "Uh, me not understand." 148 00:05:35,989 --> 00:05:37,405 Okay, whoa. 149 00:05:37,457 --> 00:05:39,407 "There's more than one named Amanda?" 150 00:05:39,493 --> 00:05:41,209 You do not have to do the voice. 151 00:05:41,245 --> 00:05:42,199 It's what he sounds like. 152 00:05:42,224 --> 00:05:43,875 Okay, I get it. You guys don't like Josh. 153 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:47,725 But I do, so can you please just give him a chance for me? 154 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,135 Maybe he could stay but just 155 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,809 poop at home instead of here? 156 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,250 No, Robin. 157 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:54,866 Josh isn't welcome here, 158 00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:56,508 and he never will be. 159 00:05:56,593 --> 00:05:58,426 Give it up, Luce, it's over. 160 00:05:58,512 --> 00:05:59,477 [sly music] 161 00:05:59,563 --> 00:06:00,845 We'll see. 162 00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:06,101 163 00:06:06,186 --> 00:06:07,102 - Hey. - Yeah? 164 00:06:07,187 --> 00:06:08,603 - Illegal? - Yes. 165 00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:10,438 You speak-y "The Bachelor," huh? 166 00:06:10,524 --> 00:06:12,274 - What? - Rose ceremony? 167 00:06:12,359 --> 00:06:14,419 Fantasy suite? [chuckles] 168 00:06:14,444 --> 00:06:16,695 I-I don't understand what you're talking about. 169 00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:18,780 - [chuckles] - [cell phone buzzes] 170 00:06:18,865 --> 00:06:20,782 - _ - [text messages chiming] 171 00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:23,785 - _ - [lively suspenseful music] 172 00:06:23,837 --> 00:06:26,454 - _ - [text messages chiming] 173 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:30,041 [panting] 174 00:06:30,594 --> 00:06:31,922 Oh, man. 175 00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:34,763 176 00:06:34,831 --> 00:06:35,730 [dramatic sting] 177 00:06:35,799 --> 00:06:36,777 [shovel scrapes] 178 00:06:36,802 --> 00:06:38,277 - Ah, ah. - Josh, Josh. 179 00:06:38,302 --> 00:06:39,601 - Oh, oh. - It's me. Come here. 180 00:06:39,636 --> 00:06:41,102 - Come here. It's okay. - Oh, God. 181 00:06:41,138 --> 00:06:42,520 - It's okay. It's okay. - Agua. 182 00:06:42,606 --> 00:06:43,972 - It's okay, baby. - Agua. 183 00:06:44,024 --> 00:06:45,940 It's okay. Here, here. Here, it's okay. 184 00:06:45,976 --> 00:06:47,475 - Oh, it's so bright in here. - [shushing] 185 00:06:47,527 --> 00:06:50,562 Mmm. Mmm! 186 00:06:50,647 --> 00:06:51,646 It's okay, okay. It's okay. 187 00:06:51,732 --> 00:06:52,981 You're safe now. You're safe. 188 00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:54,282 [intense music] Ah! 189 00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:55,450 - Go get him! - No! 190 00:06:55,485 --> 00:06:56,547 - No, no, no! - [dog barking] 191 00:06:56,572 --> 00:06:57,454 - No, no! - [Josh screaming] 192 00:06:57,479 --> 00:06:58,640 Back off, ma'am. 193 00:06:58,665 --> 00:07:00,038 Back... off. 194 00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:02,457 195 00:07:02,492 --> 00:07:03,908 [grunts] 196 00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:09,047 Go back to where you come from, you stinkin' boyfriend! 197 00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:10,392 - Get out. - You're disgusting, Josh. 198 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,633 - Go! - No one wants you! 199 00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:13,448 - Go! - Listen to me. 200 00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:16,304 Hear my words. 201 00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:18,812 I first came to this apartment 202 00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,721 with nothing but the shirt on my back, 203 00:07:20,844 --> 00:07:22,927 my toothbrush, and my phone 204 00:07:23,352 --> 00:07:25,485 and my phone charger, uh, 205 00:07:25,510 --> 00:07:28,428 but through it all, I never lost sight of the dream 206 00:07:28,453 --> 00:07:31,496 of coming to this beautiful apartment 207 00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:34,600 and hanging out with Lucy, so, please, I ask you... 208 00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:35,523 [yells] 209 00:07:35,575 --> 00:07:36,658 Ah! 210 00:07:36,693 --> 00:07:38,464 Jesus, Robin. 211 00:07:38,489 --> 00:07:39,808 - [crying] - No, no, no. 212 00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:40,829 You did the right thing. 213 00:07:40,864 --> 00:07:41,935 What? 214 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,093 - Just get out of here. - Fine. 215 00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:47,118 [Kishi Bashi's "Philosophize In It! Chemicalize With It!"] 216 00:07:47,204 --> 00:07:50,705 217 00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:52,678 We will. 218 00:07:53,794 --> 00:07:55,844 - Lucy... - Thank you. 219 00:07:55,879 --> 00:07:58,546 Lucy, what are you doing? 220 00:07:59,119 --> 00:08:01,383 - I am moving in with Josh. - Hey. 221 00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:03,885 You can't move to Josh's place; it's not safe. 222 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,553 It's rife with drugs! 223 00:08:05,639 --> 00:08:08,056 Plus, you guys, like, just started dating. 224 00:08:08,108 --> 00:08:10,892 I don't care. I'm doing it anyway. 225 00:08:11,452 --> 00:08:12,700 - Come on, Josh. - Are you sure you... 226 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,280 you... you want to move in with me? 227 00:08:15,365 --> 00:08:17,539 Yeah. Absolutely. 228 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,681 I will take you offline 229 00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:22,757 Philosophize in it, chemicalize with it 230 00:08:23,073 --> 00:08:24,406 231 00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:25,957 Eat it! 232 00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:29,791 - [kisses] Hey. - Mm, mornin'. 233 00:08:29,816 --> 00:08:31,189 I hate to say it, but I have to go to work. 234 00:08:31,214 --> 00:08:32,547 - No, no. - [laughing] Get off me. 235 00:08:32,632 --> 00:08:34,723 - I have to. Ready? - All right, fine. 236 00:08:35,942 --> 00:08:38,081 I-I think there's some, uh, 237 00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:39,990 clean shirts in the Lucy drawer. 238 00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:46,930 You know what? I think the shirt I'm wearing 239 00:08:46,955 --> 00:08:48,288 is actually probably fine. 240 00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,289 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 241 00:08:49,374 --> 00:08:52,172 Yeah. Hey, are you sure 242 00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:54,016 you're comfortable here at my place? 243 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:55,733 I-I know that my humble abode 244 00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:57,788 isn't as stylish as you're used to. 245 00:08:57,883 --> 00:08:59,238 I don't care. 246 00:08:59,263 --> 00:09:01,230 I'm fine as long as I'm with you. 247 00:09:02,154 --> 00:09:04,989 [incoming Skype call chiming] 248 00:09:06,308 --> 00:09:08,358 [exhales] 249 00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:10,097 [Skype call connects] 250 00:09:10,122 --> 00:09:11,521 Hey, dude, what's up? 251 00:09:11,546 --> 00:09:13,411 Just calling to say hi. It's been a while. 252 00:09:13,436 --> 00:09:14,938 Yeah, yeah, you're right, sorry. 253 00:09:14,963 --> 00:09:17,067 Josh and I have just been, uh, settling in. 254 00:09:17,152 --> 00:09:18,985 Hey, nice beer can collection. 255 00:09:19,429 --> 00:09:21,242 Hmm? Oh, that's... 256 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:23,667 I'm not... they're just on... 257 00:09:23,692 --> 00:09:25,926 Oh, my God, is that a lava lamp? 258 00:09:25,994 --> 00:09:29,045 Um, give me one se... second. 259 00:09:29,131 --> 00:09:32,465 I'm just... gonna find... 260 00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:34,217 Hey! There. 261 00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,761 I was thinking I could come over sometime, 262 00:09:35,786 --> 00:09:36,821 get the grand tour? 263 00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:39,723 [tense music pounds] 264 00:09:39,808 --> 00:09:42,008 265 00:09:42,094 --> 00:09:44,427 Yeah. Yeah, sure, come by anytime. 266 00:09:44,513 --> 00:09:46,263 How 'bout tonight? I'll bring Chris and Robin. 267 00:09:46,348 --> 00:09:47,675 I'm sure they'd love to see it too. 268 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,015 Sure. 269 00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,184 Great, that's... that's great. 270 00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:52,986 Great. See you at 8:00. 271 00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:54,462 Stoked. 272 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:55,886 Okay. Bye. 273 00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:56,860 [Skype call disconnects] 274 00:09:56,885 --> 00:09:59,192 [dramatic music pounds] 275 00:09:59,244 --> 00:10:00,443 [exhales deeply] 276 00:10:03,222 --> 00:10:04,939 Hey, hey, good news. 277 00:10:04,964 --> 00:10:07,056 I got the drawer out, so... what? 278 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:08,368 What... what is happening? 279 00:10:08,453 --> 00:10:10,096 - My friends are coming over. - Oh, cool. 280 00:10:10,121 --> 00:10:12,359 No, no, no, no, no, not cool. They're super judgmental. 281 00:10:12,384 --> 00:10:13,840 You know them. The place is a mess. 282 00:10:14,368 --> 00:10:15,954 Yeah? Yeah, I guess. 283 00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:18,381 Okay, uh, no biggie. Uh, we'll just clean up. 284 00:10:18,406 --> 00:10:19,763 I'll go get the, uh, Swiffer. 285 00:10:19,848 --> 00:10:21,264 [soft tense music] 286 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,729 Oh! What the heck are you doing? 287 00:10:23,754 --> 00:10:25,002 What... what's going on? 288 00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,269 Do you not get it? 289 00:10:26,355 --> 00:10:28,073 If they see any of this shit, we are looking at, 290 00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:29,419 like, eight to ten years of getting made fun of. 291 00:10:29,444 --> 00:10:30,523 I can't take that, man. 292 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:32,058 I'm too weak. 293 00:10:32,144 --> 00:10:33,643 Too goddamn weak, Josh. 294 00:10:33,729 --> 00:10:35,061 [toy pig squeaks] 295 00:10:35,147 --> 00:10:36,730 Uh, like, so... 296 00:10:36,815 --> 00:10:38,732 not this, obviously; we're... 297 00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:40,359 Oh, no, no, no, wait. What are you doing? 298 00:10:40,384 --> 00:10:42,173 There are still cheat codes in here, 299 00:10:42,198 --> 00:10:44,625 still usable cheat codes. 300 00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:45,300 [acid gurgles] 301 00:10:45,325 --> 00:10:48,128 So, uh... just... is the... is the plan 302 00:10:48,153 --> 00:10:49,576 to just... 303 00:10:49,794 --> 00:10:51,621 throw everything I own into acid? 304 00:10:51,646 --> 00:10:52,879 No, not everything's gonna fit. 305 00:10:52,914 --> 00:10:54,381 Right. 306 00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:55,465 You have to take care of the big boy. 307 00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:57,881 The big... no! 308 00:10:57,906 --> 00:10:59,386 Not my old futon. 309 00:10:59,421 --> 00:11:01,833 Futy is one of my favorite things. 310 00:11:01,858 --> 00:11:03,153 Plus, he turns into a bed, 311 00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:05,327 so he's like two things. 312 00:11:05,352 --> 00:11:06,518 We have to dismember him. 313 00:11:06,543 --> 00:11:07,761 Jesus. 314 00:11:07,813 --> 00:11:08,762 Start with the legs. 315 00:11:08,814 --> 00:11:09,896 [whines softly] 316 00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,398 Uh... 317 00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:13,433 Ah, man. 318 00:11:13,518 --> 00:11:14,601 [dramatic music pounds] 319 00:11:14,653 --> 00:11:16,186 It's not coming out, man. 320 00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:18,438 The Sriracha's not coming out! 321 00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:20,106 [futon squirts] 322 00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,647 Ugh, okay. 323 00:11:21,672 --> 00:11:22,754 I think I'm gonna throw up. 324 00:11:22,779 --> 00:11:24,162 Don't you go soft on me now. 325 00:11:24,187 --> 00:11:25,912 We're almost out of the woods. 326 00:11:25,947 --> 00:11:26,818 [playful music] 327 00:11:26,843 --> 00:11:28,093 Aah! 328 00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:29,332 Robin. 329 00:11:29,418 --> 00:11:30,784 [door creaks] 330 00:11:30,869 --> 00:11:33,920 [sinister music pounds] 331 00:11:33,955 --> 00:11:35,121 332 00:11:35,207 --> 00:11:36,790 Uh... 333 00:11:36,842 --> 00:11:37,791 I... 334 00:11:37,843 --> 00:11:40,126 got here early, so... 335 00:11:40,212 --> 00:11:41,961 I walked around the block for a while. 336 00:11:42,014 --> 00:11:45,289 But I have this ice cream cake, and I didn't want it to melt, 337 00:11:45,314 --> 00:11:47,183 so I thought I could put it in your freezer 338 00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:49,269 and walk around the block some more until 339 00:11:49,304 --> 00:11:50,720 Megan and Chris arrive, but... 340 00:11:50,745 --> 00:11:52,798 I should have texted first. 341 00:11:52,823 --> 00:11:54,729 I didn't mean to interrupt anything! 342 00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:55,653 [thud] 343 00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,112 Shit, she's awake. 344 00:11:59,572 --> 00:12:02,637 I didn't see anything. I swear! 345 00:12:02,662 --> 00:12:05,093 I won't tell Megan about the stained rug 346 00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:06,396 or the Big Mouth Billy Bass. 347 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,605 Nope, in the water. On three. 348 00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:08,786 - One. - Oh, pl-please. 349 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:09,409 Shut up. Two. 350 00:12:09,434 --> 00:12:10,602 Oh, shit! 351 00:12:10,627 --> 00:12:13,854 Oh, [bleep], oh, goddamn, shit [bleep] [bleep]! 352 00:12:13,879 --> 00:12:15,088 - And... - Okay, wait a second. 353 00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:17,024 Okay, this... this is a bit much, look. 354 00:12:17,049 --> 00:12:18,151 I think we're going a bit crazy. 355 00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:20,222 I mean, I know I don't live in the Taj Mahal. 356 00:12:20,395 --> 00:12:22,663 Uh, but is my apartment really so bad 357 00:12:22,688 --> 00:12:24,849 that you have to murder one of your friends because of it? 358 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,840 [rapid footsteps] 359 00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:28,341 Damn it. She's getting away. 360 00:12:28,427 --> 00:12:30,031 What? Holy [bleep]. 361 00:12:30,056 --> 00:12:31,061 [gunshots] 362 00:12:31,146 --> 00:12:33,396 [yelps] [moans] 363 00:12:33,482 --> 00:12:36,349 - [grunts] - Ah. 364 00:12:36,435 --> 00:12:37,901 It's fine. 365 00:12:37,986 --> 00:12:39,686 If the currents don't get her, the sharks will. 366 00:12:39,771 --> 00:12:41,738 - [groaning] - [ship horn blares] 367 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,910 [sighs] 368 00:12:51,984 --> 00:12:53,304 Okay. 369 00:12:54,119 --> 00:12:56,090 Oh, this place looks so much better. 370 00:12:56,115 --> 00:12:57,748 We got a couple minutes before Megan comes over, 371 00:12:57,773 --> 00:12:58,652 so we can... 372 00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,132 Are you leaving? 373 00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:02,172 Yeah, uh... 374 00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:06,219 I-I just don't really feel like being here right now. 375 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,229 [tender music] What? Why? 376 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,816 Uh, 'cause you spent all day freaking out 377 00:13:09,841 --> 00:13:12,218 over what a dump my place is, so... 378 00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:14,721 I-I just... I wanted people to like our apartment. 379 00:13:14,806 --> 00:13:16,742 Uh, you mean you wanted people 380 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:18,641 to like your apartment. 381 00:13:18,727 --> 00:13:19,642 Where you going? 382 00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:21,027 Uh, to Mike's. 383 00:13:21,062 --> 00:13:23,279 384 00:13:26,114 --> 00:13:29,115 [somber guitar music] 385 00:13:31,928 --> 00:13:36,171 _ 386 00:13:36,196 --> 00:13:37,445 [cell phone chimes] 387 00:13:43,885 --> 00:13:46,180 Okay, so I'm not King Fancy 388 00:13:46,205 --> 00:13:48,492 with a leather couch and a diamond chair. 389 00:13:48,517 --> 00:13:51,325 Apparently, that makes me a loser. 390 00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:53,661 - Sucks, bro. - It does, man. 391 00:13:53,746 --> 00:13:55,346 She just clearly doesn't accept me 392 00:13:55,371 --> 00:13:56,617 the way that I am. 393 00:13:56,749 --> 00:13:58,549 - Well, I do. - Really? 394 00:13:58,584 --> 00:14:00,885 For real, you're my brother, and I love you, man. 395 00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:02,326 All these guys love you. 396 00:14:02,588 --> 00:14:04,138 [regal music and swordplay on TV] 397 00:14:04,223 --> 00:14:06,590 We love you and accept you just the way you are. 398 00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:07,925 - Hey. - Here. 399 00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:09,593 - Thanks, boys. - Yeah. 400 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,011 I appreciate that. 401 00:14:14,263 --> 00:14:15,450 [knocking] 402 00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:19,144 - Oh, hey, Liz. - Hey, Lucy. 403 00:14:19,169 --> 00:14:19,800 Is Josh here? 404 00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:21,482 He left his retainer at our parents' house. 405 00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:23,217 Oh, um, no. I can take that. 406 00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:24,742 Okay. Wow. 407 00:14:24,777 --> 00:14:26,827 He's actually not here. 408 00:14:26,912 --> 00:14:28,195 He's kind of mad at me. 409 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,387 I got rid of a bunch of his stuff. 410 00:14:30,533 --> 00:14:32,666 - You got rid of Futy. - Yeah. 411 00:14:32,752 --> 00:14:35,502 Thank God. That thing was nasty. 412 00:14:35,588 --> 00:14:37,277 I mean, I guess. 413 00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:39,719 I, um... I just... I think I really upset him. 414 00:14:39,744 --> 00:14:40,874 And I feel like a jerk. 415 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,459 He'll get over it. 416 00:14:42,788 --> 00:14:44,731 Wow. Where is Josh, anyway? 417 00:14:44,756 --> 00:14:45,879 He's with Mike. 418 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:47,965 [suspenseful music] Mike? 419 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,327 Yeah, they're probably just 420 00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:50,768 blowing off steam or something; I don't know. 421 00:14:50,871 --> 00:14:52,454 Lucy, listen to me. 422 00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:54,470 Mike is very dangerous. 423 00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:55,994 Really? I-I met him once. 424 00:14:56,019 --> 00:14:57,345 - He seems cool. - Yeah. 425 00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:58,776 That's the problem. 426 00:14:58,811 --> 00:15:00,978 He's extremely charismatic. 427 00:15:01,063 --> 00:15:03,535 He lures boyfriends in when they're feeling vulnerable 428 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,032 and makes them feel accepted. 429 00:15:05,117 --> 00:15:07,484 But it's all just so that he can control them. 430 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,980 Before long, they're his brainwashed followers 431 00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:11,321 doing whatever he tells them. 432 00:15:11,407 --> 00:15:12,906 [sighs] 433 00:15:12,931 --> 00:15:14,247 Shoot. 434 00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:19,163 All right. Where do they usually hang out? 435 00:15:19,591 --> 00:15:20,673 These days? 436 00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:23,333 [ominous music] 437 00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:24,835 Guyana. 438 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,755 [airplane engine roars] 439 00:15:30,009 --> 00:15:32,843 - [insects droning] - [birds chirping] 440 00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:38,202 My bros, my bros. 441 00:15:38,227 --> 00:15:39,810 Your girlfriends don't accept you. 442 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,170 They want to change you. 443 00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:44,749 They want to make your apartment look more "adult." 444 00:15:44,774 --> 00:15:47,324 [men booing] 445 00:15:47,359 --> 00:15:50,160 They want to make you a new dude. 446 00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:53,530 But I accept you as the dude that you are. 447 00:15:53,616 --> 00:15:57,251 And I love you unconditionally. No homo. 448 00:15:57,587 --> 00:15:58,843 - We love you, dude. - You the man. 449 00:15:58,868 --> 00:16:00,451 - Yeah. - You the man, Mike! 450 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,377 No homo. 451 00:16:01,402 --> 00:16:02,301 - Aah! - Hey, hey, hey. 452 00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:05,040 Jesus... what... what are you... Lucy, what are you doing here? 453 00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:06,627 I miss you. 454 00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:08,429 Why don't... why don't we go home? 455 00:16:08,514 --> 00:16:10,681 Because Guyana's my home. 456 00:16:10,716 --> 00:16:13,350 Look, Mike accepts me the way that I am, all right? 457 00:16:13,385 --> 00:16:16,553 He never... he never had any problems with my apartment. 458 00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:19,807 Okay, Josh. Josh, listen. 459 00:16:19,832 --> 00:16:24,085 I am so, so sorry about how I acted, all right? 460 00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,924 I-I was worried about impressing my friends. 461 00:16:25,949 --> 00:16:29,399 I didn't think about how it might make you feel. 462 00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,401 You... 463 00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:34,062 you threw away my futon without even asking me. 464 00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:35,322 Yeah. 465 00:16:35,407 --> 00:16:37,078 And it folds into a bed, 466 00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:38,909 so it's like you threw away two things. 467 00:16:38,994 --> 00:16:40,711 Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry. 468 00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:44,081 Well, I hope your friends at least liked the apartment. 469 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:47,167 Well, I... I told them not to come. 470 00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:49,025 There wasn't any point if you weren't there with me. 471 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:53,307 [soft guitar music] 472 00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:54,424 A girlfriend! 473 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:55,559 Hey... oh, right. 474 00:16:55,594 --> 00:16:57,177 A girlfriend among us! 475 00:16:57,263 --> 00:16:58,929 We have been infiltrated! 476 00:16:59,014 --> 00:16:59,897 Hello. [laughs nervously] 477 00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:02,733 Oh, my bros, my bros, my bros! 478 00:17:02,768 --> 00:17:04,401 This place is too dope! 479 00:17:04,436 --> 00:17:07,104 They can't let it last! 480 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,439 There's only one option left. 481 00:17:09,525 --> 00:17:10,607 Get the Kool-Aid. 482 00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:12,075 [men cheering] Yeah! 483 00:17:12,111 --> 00:17:13,744 Now mix it with the vodka. 484 00:17:13,779 --> 00:17:16,747 Quickly, now. Shots, my bros! It is the only way. 485 00:17:16,782 --> 00:17:18,448 [slamming podium] We must do shots! 486 00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:19,583 [men clamoring] 487 00:17:19,618 --> 00:17:21,785 Shots, shots, shots, shots! 488 00:17:21,837 --> 00:17:24,053 The younger bros first, then the eldest. 489 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,423 Do you want to get out of here? 490 00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:27,062 Well, you... you don't want to hang out with Mike anymore? 491 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:27,845 Uh... 492 00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:30,794 Oh, mother, mother, mother, mother, please. 493 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,263 No, let's... let's go back to my place. 494 00:17:33,299 --> 00:17:34,598 - Okay. - Um... 495 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:35,632 496 00:17:35,718 --> 00:17:38,018 Let's go back to our place. 497 00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:39,303 - Okay. - All right. 498 00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:40,888 499 00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,450 - [laughter] - [upbeat music over stereo] 500 00:17:47,475 --> 00:17:49,915 Well, hey, sick housewarming party, bro. 501 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:51,944 - Thank you very much. - Yeah, oh, yeah. 502 00:17:52,335 --> 00:17:54,003 Sorry I got a little crazy the other day. 503 00:17:54,028 --> 00:17:55,133 That's absolutely fine. 504 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,658 Every... everything turn out okay, though? 505 00:17:57,915 --> 00:17:59,165 No. 506 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,167 507 00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:03,104 To his bone, sliced it to the bone. 508 00:18:03,129 --> 00:18:04,712 Hi. I was just telling Lucy 509 00:18:04,737 --> 00:18:06,455 - the apartment looks amazing. - Thank you. 510 00:18:06,541 --> 00:18:08,841 Yeah, super interesting decor choices. 511 00:18:08,876 --> 00:18:11,260 I haven't seen a lava lamp since middle school. 512 00:18:11,345 --> 00:18:13,875 Thank you. I really like it. 513 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,132 - Like it? - [door opens] 514 00:18:16,217 --> 00:18:17,883 515 00:18:17,908 --> 00:18:19,136 Robin! 516 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,054 Hi. 517 00:18:22,344 --> 00:18:23,259 Where have you been? 518 00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:24,337 What happened to your arm? 519 00:18:24,362 --> 00:18:26,210 Yes, Robin, what happened to your arm? 520 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,284 Uh, I... 521 00:18:27,895 --> 00:18:29,812 I, uh... 522 00:18:31,232 --> 00:18:32,198 I... 523 00:18:34,235 --> 00:18:35,901 I don't know? 524 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,574 You don't know? 525 00:18:40,792 --> 00:18:43,836 [raucous laughter] 526 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,578 Robin, you're crazy! 527 00:18:45,663 --> 00:18:47,246 I like this girl. 528 00:18:47,298 --> 00:18:49,081 Normal. Everything's normal. 529 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,082 Ahh! 530 00:18:50,134 --> 00:18:51,500 Is this the new futon? 531 00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:52,912 - Yes, it is, in fact. - Yeah, yeah. 532 00:18:52,937 --> 00:18:54,694 We just bought it together. It's my new favorite thing. 533 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:56,733 And... and you know it turns into a bed? 534 00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:58,591 So really, it's like two things. 535 00:18:58,643 --> 00:19:00,392 A couch that turns into a bed? 536 00:19:00,428 --> 00:19:01,727 Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it. 537 00:19:01,763 --> 00:19:03,095 Yeah, right? All right, watch this. 538 00:19:03,147 --> 00:19:04,263 Oh, oh, oh, okay. 539 00:19:04,348 --> 00:19:05,481 - Okay. - All right, ready? 540 00:19:05,566 --> 00:19:06,482 - All right. - Okay? 541 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:07,650 - On three. - Yep. 542 00:19:07,735 --> 00:19:08,901 - One... - One... 543 00:19:08,936 --> 00:19:11,270 both: Two, three! 544 00:19:11,322 --> 00:19:12,938 [all cheering] 545 00:19:13,024 --> 00:19:14,990 - Very nice! - Okay. 546 00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:16,709 [Caveman's "Never Going Back"] 547 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:19,445 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 548 00:19:19,514 --> 00:19:22,114 Just to see what's new 549 00:19:22,183 --> 00:19:23,916 I wanna do what's right 550 00:19:23,985 --> 00:19:27,219 Just to make it through 551 00:19:27,288 --> 00:19:30,689 Till I'm wide awake 552 00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:33,289 And the feeling's gone 553 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:37,889 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37247

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