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1
00:00:01,159 --> 00:00:03,250
Let's see, I see here
that you would like
2
00:00:03,302 --> 00:00:04,752
to go back on birth control?
3
00:00:04,837 --> 00:00:06,420
Yeah, I'm in this new relationship,
4
00:00:06,472 --> 00:00:08,005
and we really want to
stop using condoms, so...
5
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,224
We would recommend that you
take a quick questionnaire
6
00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:12,727
about common risk factors for STls.
7
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:13,811
Yep, okay.
8
00:00:13,896 --> 00:00:16,347
Great.
9
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:18,315
Now, are you an intravenous drug user?
10
00:00:18,401 --> 00:00:19,900
Not that I know of.
11
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,769
Do you have sex with multiple partners?
12
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:23,521
Only on a good night. [chuckles]
13
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,322
No.
14
00:00:25,408 --> 00:00:27,525
You know, I know some of
these questions seem silly.
15
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,743
We just have to ask.
16
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,611
I'm sorry. Totally.
17
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,913
Have you had sex with Mike Scaggs?
18
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,199
What?
19
00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:38,035
Have you had sexual
contact with Mike Scaggs?
20
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,171
Again, I know some of
these questions are silly,
21
00:00:40,256 --> 00:00:41,872
but we're just trying to identify
22
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:44,542
the most common ways
that people contract STls.
23
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:45,960
That's...
24
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:48,763
Mike Scaggs is the guy I'm seeing.
25
00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,965
Great, let's get
started on your physical.
26
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,800
Scooch down.
27
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:55,870
[downtempo electronic music]
28
00:00:55,938 --> 00:00:56,771
29
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,305
Ah!
30
00:00:58,357 --> 00:01:01,475
31
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:03,644
[squeaks]
32
00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:05,196
33
00:01:05,281 --> 00:01:06,730
[growls]
34
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:13,119
35
00:01:14,051 --> 00:01:19,028
- www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:23,047
I've never even heard of
a lot of these diseases.
37
00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,633
I know, but all negative, so...
38
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,002
Mike really gets around, huh?
39
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:31,505
Yeah, he was a... single guy.
40
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,757
He slept with a few people.
41
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:37,011
But he... you know,
those days are behind him.
42
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,180
So you guys are an official couple now?
43
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,516
Like, not, like, official
official... official.
44
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:44,685
You know, like, it wasn't, like,
45
00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:46,654
written down in the hall of records.
46
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,689
You know what I mean? [laughs]
47
00:01:50,359 --> 00:01:53,027
Guys, we hang out
almost every night, okay?
48
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,528
He threw me a birthday party.
49
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,080
He's totally my boyfriend.
50
00:01:56,165 --> 00:01:59,166
We just haven't had, like, the talk yet.
51
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,035
Okay, well, there's no rush, right?
52
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,586
- Uh-uh.
- Yeah.
53
00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:04,088
- In its own time.
- Yeah, keep it cas'.
54
00:02:04,173 --> 00:02:06,040
Yeah. [whistle blows]
55
00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:09,126
[gentle music]
56
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,929
57
00:02:12,014 --> 00:02:13,514
Oh, I need a kiss.
58
00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:14,715
[chuckles]
59
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,634
Hey, babe?
60
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,469
Hey, um...
61
00:02:18,554 --> 00:02:19,970
Mike, I was wondering,
62
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,639
can we talk about
something for a second?
63
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,357
Yeah. What's up?
64
00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:26,277
Um, I've been thinking
a lot about, you know,
65
00:02:26,362 --> 00:02:28,112
you and me, us, lately.
66
00:02:28,197 --> 00:02:30,281
I think about us all the time too, baby.
67
00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:32,032
I'm so glad we talked about that.
68
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,067
- Uh...
- Ooh, you look cold.
69
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,818
Let me grab you a jacket.
70
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,661
There you are.
71
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:44,912
Hey.
72
00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:47,631
So, um, as I was saying,
73
00:02:47,717 --> 00:02:49,300
you know, we've been seeing
each other for a while now.
74
00:02:49,385 --> 00:02:50,467
Yeah.
75
00:02:50,553 --> 00:02:51,669
And we like each other so much.
76
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,837
Totally agree.
77
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,059
Mike!
78
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,095
Michael, listen, I
feel like you're being
79
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,763
a tad bit evasive here.
80
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:04,064
We really need to talk
about our relationship.
81
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,849
Wahh!
82
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,017
[yells]
83
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,738
Hey! Baby!
84
00:03:12,074 --> 00:03:14,108
Mike!
85
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,326
Hey!
86
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,496
Okay, we are just two
little pitchers away
87
00:03:19,582 --> 00:03:20,948
from free nachos.
88
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,866
I think we can do it. Do
you think we can do it?
89
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,752
Yeah, totally.
90
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,036
Listen, I want to talk to you
91
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,454
about something that happened yesterday.
92
00:03:27,523 --> 00:03:28,622
Is that all right?
93
00:03:28,691 --> 00:03:30,958
Yeah, totally. What's, uh, up?
94
00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:33,961
Okay, um, I... I've been trying to have
95
00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:36,230
this serious conversation with you,
96
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:39,633
you know, I felt like
instead of listening to me,
97
00:03:39,685 --> 00:03:41,936
you, you know, just, like,
flew out of the window
98
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,355
with the impossible
grace of a wingless crane.
99
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,357
Wow, I'm sorry you felt that way.
100
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:47,691
I just thought the
conversation was over.
101
00:03:47,777 --> 00:03:49,276
Want some quesadillas?
102
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,978
- Babe, hi.
- Hey.
103
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:54,481
What I want more than
that is to clarify.
104
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,450
I just need you to tell me, you know,
105
00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:58,736
am I your girlfriend or not, that's it.
106
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,955
[sighs]
107
00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:06,243
[snorts]
108
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,045
[laughs] Babe!
109
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:09,797
Is this what you've been
worrying about this whole time?
110
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:10,798
Yeah.
111
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,333
For real? Baby.
112
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,501
I know it's silly. I just...
113
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,337
Just... come here.
114
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,172
Ahh!
115
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,757
Mike!
116
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,843
[intense music]
117
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:29,183
118
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:31,185
[panting]
119
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:41,195
I understand your predicament.
120
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:45,833
Sounds as though you have
a very worthy opponent.
121
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,618
Yes, Master Chang.
122
00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:50,788
[bamboo flute melody]
123
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:55,759
I will teach you.
124
00:04:55,845 --> 00:04:58,712
But are you certain you wish to catch
125
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:02,299
that which does not wish to be caught?
126
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,719
The slippery eel, once captured,
127
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,721
is not so delicious.
128
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,723
I don't care.
129
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,359
I want the eel.
130
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,894
Hmm.
131
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:18,032
[woman singing in native language]
132
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,117
[bird caws]
133
00:05:20,202 --> 00:05:25,539
134
00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:27,241
[chuckles]
135
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:35,132
136
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:40,471
Hmm.
137
00:05:40,556 --> 00:05:44,925
138
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,760
- [groans]
- [laughs]
139
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,096
- Master Chang!
- Hmm?
140
00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:51,432
I've been at this for hours.
141
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,434
It's late, and I'm exhausted,
142
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,985
and I still haven't learned anything
143
00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:57,438
about doing battle with Mike.
144
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,273
What is the meaning of all of this?
145
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,108
You must be patient.
146
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,327
For you to capture the slippery eel...
147
00:06:03,412 --> 00:06:05,279
Oh, God, more eel.
148
00:06:05,347 --> 00:06:07,281
- Hmm.
- Okay, I gotta go.
149
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,166
Thanks, I guess.
150
00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:11,001
I gotta go.
151
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,629
Hey.
152
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,014
Where were you?
153
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:27,851
Did you forget we had dinner plans?
154
00:06:27,937 --> 00:06:30,938
I'm sorry, I just got home way
later than I thought I would.
155
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,689
So where were you?
156
00:06:32,775 --> 00:06:35,559
Oh, I was just training with
some ancient martial arts master
157
00:06:35,644 --> 00:06:37,561
on a mountaintop who's stupid.
158
00:06:37,646 --> 00:06:39,113
Do we need plates?
159
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,981
So you were with a guy?
160
00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:42,649
It's no biggie. What's wrong?
161
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,368
I just think it's kinda weird
162
00:06:44,453 --> 00:06:45,986
that I'm waiting around all night
163
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:49,039
while some old guy is skeezing
all over my girlfriend.
164
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:50,324
Ahh!
165
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:53,410
[bamboo flute melody]
166
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,746
167
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,998
How did you do that?
168
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,969
I think I can answer that question.
169
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:06,390
You see, my method was
not about training at all.
170
00:07:06,475 --> 00:07:10,093
It was about spending
time away from Mike
171
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:14,598
with another dude, creating uncertainty.
172
00:07:14,683 --> 00:07:18,685
Right. I'm sorry I ever
doubted your ways, Master Cheng.
173
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:22,189
174
00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:27,194
So, um...
175
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:29,663
I should tell you,
I've never exactly done
176
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:31,415
the boyfriend thing before.
177
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,200
Oh, babe!
178
00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:35,035
Don't you worry.
179
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:37,621
You're gonna be great.
180
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,878
[clears throat]
181
00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:48,015
So what are we gonna do tonight?
182
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,767
Hey, have you ever heard of this game
183
00:07:50,853 --> 00:07:53,720
called Cards Against Humanity, hmm?
184
00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:55,355
It's so fun!
185
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:57,858
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.
186
00:07:57,893 --> 00:07:58,976
Wow.
187
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,194
How 'bout charades?
188
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:03,280
Oh, babe, can you...
189
00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:05,132
I... I get it.
190
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:07,534
I... totally, I get it.
191
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:11,822
I will just, uh, head on out, I guess.
192
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,575
So, um...
193
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,909
See you later.
194
00:08:21,482 --> 00:08:24,984
[gentle music]
195
00:08:25,036 --> 00:08:28,487
Hi, yes, two coffees for me
and my girlfriend, please.
196
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:30,039
[laughs]
197
00:08:30,124 --> 00:08:31,824
So I'll see you after
work tonight, girlfriend?
198
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,742
I can't wait, boyfriend.
199
00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:36,879
- Thanks.
- Ah, thank you.
200
00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:39,832
- Bye, babe.
- Bye.
201
00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:41,166
- Bye.
- Bye.
202
00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:43,252
- Bye.
- Bye.
203
00:08:46,057 --> 00:08:47,806
[cell phone dings]
204
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:52,928
[both chuckle]
205
00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:54,063
I texted you. You saw it?
206
00:08:54,148 --> 00:08:55,347
Yeah, I just got it.
207
00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:57,816
Cool. Just making sure.
208
00:08:57,852 --> 00:08:58,984
Miss you.
209
00:09:01,355 --> 00:09:02,855
[phone chimes]
210
00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:03,989
Sorry.
211
00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:09,695
How do you want to
make your clients happy?
212
00:09:09,747 --> 00:09:12,247
[phone chimes] You...
213
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:15,501
I am going to put on vibrate.
214
00:09:15,536 --> 00:09:17,536
Yeah, let's do that. Okay?
215
00:09:17,588 --> 00:09:20,005
[phone buzzes]
216
00:09:20,041 --> 00:09:21,256
There is no...
217
00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:23,375
[buzzing continues]
218
00:09:27,598 --> 00:09:31,350
Okay, break room tips.
If it's not yours...
219
00:09:35,890 --> 00:09:37,139
You okay?
220
00:09:37,224 --> 00:09:39,358
Yeah.
221
00:09:44,065 --> 00:09:45,564
- Hmm?
- Are you sure?
222
00:09:45,616 --> 00:09:46,949
Mm-hmm.
223
00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,450
Tell me what's up.
224
00:09:48,536 --> 00:09:52,071
Ugh, okay, fine.
225
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:54,907
I... I just think it's kinda messed up
226
00:09:54,992 --> 00:09:57,459
that you didn't respond
to my texts yesterday.
227
00:09:57,545 --> 00:09:59,411
Babe.
228
00:09:59,463 --> 00:10:01,714
I love knowing that
you're thinking about me.
229
00:10:01,782 --> 00:10:03,966
I love it, but I need you to understand
230
00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:06,218
that if I'm busy at work
231
00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:08,087
or with friends or something,
232
00:10:08,139 --> 00:10:10,322
I can't always get
back to you right away.
233
00:10:10,391 --> 00:10:11,890
Does that make sense?
234
00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:13,926
Yeah, totally. I get it.
235
00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:15,961
It's just when I didn't hear from you,
236
00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,730
I thought maybe you were mad or...
237
00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,565
- Well, I'm not mad.
- Hmm.
238
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,016
- Hey.
- Hmm?
239
00:10:21,102 --> 00:10:22,768
You know, you have
nothing to worry about.
240
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,520
Mm, mm.
241
00:10:24,605 --> 00:10:25,938
I'm gonna go to the gym, all right?
242
00:10:26,023 --> 00:10:27,272
- Okay.
- You gonna be okay?
243
00:10:27,324 --> 00:10:28,273
I'll miss you.
244
00:10:28,325 --> 00:10:29,775
Miss you too. All right.
245
00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:31,110
I'll miss you. Have a good workout.
246
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,362
- Bye.
- Bye.
247
00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:36,448
[upbeat music]
248
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:44,289
249
00:11:00,191 --> 00:11:02,775
[suspenseful music]
250
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:08,647
It's every boyfriend's nightmare:
251
00:11:08,699 --> 00:11:11,400
a girlfriend not responding to texts.
252
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:15,154
We now go live to devastatedboyfriend, Mike Scaggs,
253
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:17,539
as we enter minute four
254
00:11:17,625 --> 00:11:20,042
of the desperate hunt for Rosa.
255
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:22,294
Thank you all so much for coming.
256
00:11:22,329 --> 00:11:26,498
Best case scenario, she's
either dead or in a coma.
257
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:31,003
Worst case, she's
slightly mad at me or...
258
00:11:32,673 --> 00:11:35,474
I didn't even get the
three little bubbles
259
00:11:35,509 --> 00:11:37,342
that come up.
260
00:11:37,428 --> 00:11:38,393
I would take that right now.
261
00:11:38,479 --> 00:11:39,895
And the texts were blue.
262
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:41,730
They weren't green. They went through.
263
00:11:41,816 --> 00:11:43,649
Mike, is there any message
264
00:11:43,684 --> 00:11:46,518
that you would like to relay to Rosa?
265
00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:49,404
Yes, um, Rosa, if you
can somehow hear me,
266
00:11:49,490 --> 00:11:50,689
I just need you to know,
267
00:11:50,774 --> 00:11:53,442
"'Sup? How you doing, boo-boo?"
268
00:11:53,527 --> 00:11:56,078
And then I wrote, "#RelationshipGoals"
269
00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:57,996
and I pictured texted you
270
00:11:58,032 --> 00:12:02,434
an image of Kim
Kardashian and Kanye West,
271
00:12:02,503 --> 00:12:05,704
but with their faces swapped.
272
00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:08,540
It was like a Photoshop
joke. It was stupid.
273
00:12:08,592 --> 00:12:11,627
I shouldn't have sent you anything.
274
00:12:11,712 --> 00:12:13,595
I don't know what I'm doing.
275
00:12:13,681 --> 00:12:16,048
I screen-grabbed it off Instagram,
276
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,050
and I thought you'd think it's funny,
277
00:12:18,102 --> 00:12:19,301
and you didn't respond.
278
00:12:19,386 --> 00:12:21,353
I'm so sorry.
279
00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:24,189
Volunteers are rallying tofind this missing girlfriend.
280
00:12:24,225 --> 00:12:25,474
How's your day going, cutie?
281
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:26,975
- 'Sup, boo
- Boo?
282
00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:28,443
All: 'Sup?
283
00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:30,229
- Boo-boo!
- What's up, boo-boo?
284
00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:31,880
'Sup!
285
00:12:31,966 --> 00:12:34,650
- Question mark!
- Green alien emoji!
286
00:12:35,736 --> 00:12:37,319
[groans]
287
00:12:40,374 --> 00:12:42,374
I'll never forget the
last thing Rosa said to me
288
00:12:42,409 --> 00:12:43,959
before her disappearance.
289
00:12:44,044 --> 00:12:45,544
"I'll be back in an hour."
290
00:12:45,579 --> 00:12:47,329
That was almost ten minutes ago.
291
00:12:47,414 --> 00:12:49,381
There's still no sign of her.
292
00:12:49,416 --> 00:12:50,966
Michael!
293
00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:52,751
What the shit, man?
I was just at the gym.
294
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:53,835
Excuse me.
295
00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:55,254
Rosa? You're alive!
296
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,889
Oh, my God!
297
00:12:56,924 --> 00:12:59,258
Thank you all for your support.
298
00:12:59,326 --> 00:13:02,344
I'm never letting her go again.
299
00:13:02,429 --> 00:13:04,763
I was so scared.
300
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:05,731
[intense music]
301
00:13:05,766 --> 00:13:06,732
I was so scared.
302
00:13:09,817 --> 00:13:11,447
Ugh!
303
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,700
Hey, we're about to start warm-up.
304
00:13:13,785 --> 00:13:15,451
You ready?
305
00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:17,537
Yeah, I'll be right there.
I just gotta send this text.
306
00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,041
I think I'm gonna end
things with Mike tonight.
307
00:13:22,127 --> 00:13:26,129
I just... I can't do it
anymore. He's so clingy.
308
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:28,765
I...
309
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,466
- What is that face?
- I don't know, Rosa.
310
00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:32,218
You were the one who
wanted to be exclusive,
311
00:13:32,304 --> 00:13:34,604
and now that you are, you
don't want him anymore?
312
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,272
I hate to say it,
313
00:13:36,341 --> 00:13:38,858
but think you're gonna
come off like a bitch.
314
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,393
Ouch, Maya.
315
00:13:40,478 --> 00:13:42,028
I'm not saying I think you're a bitch.
316
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,564
I'm just saying you
might get accused of that.
317
00:13:47,986 --> 00:13:49,702
Am I a bitch?
318
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:51,654
I once got into a situation like you,
319
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,123
and I called this woman.
320
00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:56,542
She's what they call "a fixer."
321
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,828
She makes problems go away.
322
00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,501
Uh-huh.
323
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:07,337
Oh.
324
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,504
I understand.
325
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,006
Stay right where you are,
326
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,643
and, Rosa, don't touch a goddamn thing.
327
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,899
"We need to talk."
328
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,935
No emojis, no exclamation points.
329
00:14:23,021 --> 00:14:25,021
You should have contacted me.
330
00:14:25,106 --> 00:14:27,573
Does it really look that bad?
331
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,194
It all adds up to first degree bitch.
332
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,863
Listen, I want to be sure
that you get me out of this.
333
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:36,032
Lady, I'm not a miracle worker,
334
00:14:36,117 --> 00:14:37,583
but if you do everything that I say,
335
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,202
I think I can get the charges reduced
336
00:14:39,287 --> 00:14:42,171
from "bitch" to "crazy."
337
00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:44,173
But I'm not crazy.
338
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:46,042
You are lucky that crazy
is even on the table.
339
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,543
If this were Texas,
340
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:50,179
you'd be looking at
"aggravated [bleep]."
341
00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:51,214
Oh, okay.
342
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:52,965
Do you believe in astrology?
343
00:14:53,051 --> 00:14:54,801
It's not really my thing.
344
00:14:54,886 --> 00:14:56,269
Damn it, Rosa.
345
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,553
Do you want this to work or not?
346
00:14:57,639 --> 00:14:59,105
Yes, of course...
347
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,973
Ma'am, where do you want the cats?
348
00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:02,558
It the kitchen, in the food.
349
00:15:02,644 --> 00:15:06,029
Cats everywhere. Cats, cats, cats.
350
00:15:06,064 --> 00:15:08,731
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, hon.
351
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,566
[clears throat]
352
00:15:10,652 --> 00:15:12,785
- Oh, hey, babe.
- Hey, I got your text.
353
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,570
[cat squeals] Did you get a cat?
354
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,041
Um, uh, sit down.
355
00:15:18,076 --> 00:15:21,077
So, uh, you texted
me you wanted to talk?
356
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,329
Uh, I just wanted to bring you here
357
00:15:23,415 --> 00:15:26,749
so I could talk to you
358
00:15:26,835 --> 00:15:29,135
about my journey,
359
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,422
um, and that I've been
feeling really crazy.
360
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:33,423
Uh-huh.
361
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,258
Just really whacked out,
362
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:38,261
and, uh, that moon is just
363
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,931
pulling at my zodiac hard,
364
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,649
and I just, um... I
feel like we should...
365
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,601
Say no more.
366
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,687
I totally get it.
367
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,522
- Oh.
- We should move in together.
368
00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:51,741
It's, like, you're so crazy right now.
369
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:54,694
Like, I gotta be, like,
watching over you all the time,
370
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:57,113
making sure you're okay,
because I'm the sane one.
371
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,948
You know, I'll be your rock.
372
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:00,867
I knew something was up,
'cause I texted you so much...
373
00:16:00,952 --> 00:16:02,085
- Yeah.
- And you didn't respond.
374
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,419
No.
375
00:16:03,455 --> 00:16:04,921
And I texted your mom actually.
376
00:16:04,956 --> 00:16:06,172
- You did?
- "What's going on with Rosa?"
377
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,840
And she got back to me right away,
378
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,092
so I was like, "Maybe it
doesn't run in the family."
379
00:16:09,127 --> 00:16:12,128
I'm not [bleep] crazy!
380
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,629
You're the crazy one!
381
00:16:13,715 --> 00:16:15,181
- What?
- You're immature,
382
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,133
and you're possessive,
and you're clingy,
383
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,384
and you won't let me breathe.
384
00:16:18,470 --> 00:16:20,353
I'm sorry, but I can't.
385
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,688
I can't do this, and I don't
care if you think I'm a bitch,
386
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,307
because I can't do this anymore.
387
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,642
It's... it's over.
388
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,149
Oh, no.
389
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:35,318
Oh, no, I...
390
00:16:38,239 --> 00:16:39,705
Pack it up, people.
391
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:40,907
Just pack it up.
392
00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:42,992
[sighs]
393
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,830
Uh, Mittens has worms,
394
00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,999
so you'll want to deal with that.
395
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,501
I wouldn't wait.
396
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,802
Well, which one is...
397
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:53,836
[cat meows]
398
00:16:58,502 --> 00:17:01,002
So you must be relieved.
399
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,805
Single again, no more
boyfriend to worry about.
400
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,974
Ugh, totally.
401
00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:08,009
[whistle blows]
402
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,062
[gentle music]
403
00:17:11,148 --> 00:17:18,937
404
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,692
Hi. Um, one coffee, please.
405
00:17:25,529 --> 00:17:27,445
Thanks.
406
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:41,042
[phone chimes]
407
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:46,881
408
00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,134
[cat meows]
409
00:17:49,219 --> 00:17:57,025
410
00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:07,335
[phone buzzes]
411
00:18:10,574 --> 00:18:12,323
[television plays indistinctly]
412
00:18:13,864 --> 00:18:17,773
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
413
00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:21,182
[woman singing in native language]
414
00:18:21,232 --> 00:18:25,782
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