Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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_
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[laughter]
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[rock music playing]
4
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Um, hello.
5
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What is... how much are drinks?
6
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Complimentary.
7
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Oh, I will definitely
have one, in that case.
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[sighs]
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Okay. Yep.
10
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Thank you for your service.
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- Josh?
- Holy shit, Pete Hoffman.
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I haven't seen you since what? Algebra II.
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God, all I remember from that class
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was playing Phoenix on our TI-89's.
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Hmm, hmm, trying to remember.
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Who was it that got the high score?
17
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[laughing] Shut up, you bastard, I...
18
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- That's me; you bow down to me.
- I do, indeed.
19
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Man, those were the days.
20
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Wow, before we had to grow up
21
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and join the boring real world.
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- Tell me about it.
- So what are you up to, bud?
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Oh, not too much. I'm living downtown.
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Still eating and drinking
a little too much.
25
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- I'm an astronaut.
- What?
26
00:00:53,671 --> 00:00:56,306
- You're... you're an astronaut?
- Yeah, I work for this place.
27
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It's the National Aeronautics
Space Administration.
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- NASA?
- Oh, sweet, you've heard of it.
29
00:01:01,111 --> 00:01:03,613
Yeah. Well, yes, I've heard of it.
30
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- Josh?
- Alice Shimpff.
31
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[laughs] Oh, well...
32
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it's actually Alice Hoffman, now.
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- No... you... what?
- I know.
34
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- Score one for the good guys!
- That's what I'm talking about.
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So how have you been? What are you...
36
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You still twirling the baton, or...?
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Oh, I wish. I'm an astronaut.
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I'm sorry, you're both astronauts?
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- So, you guys work together?
- No, no, I'm on Gamma.
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- She's on Argo.
- Yeah.
41
00:01:27,037 --> 00:01:28,638
Oh, but you know who I do work with?
42
00:01:28,706 --> 00:01:30,974
Tom and Carla from Ms. Margolin's class.
43
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Tom that kid that got
suspended for whippets?
44
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- Yeah.
- He made a 180, man.
45
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He's doing great.
46
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So, Josh, what do you do?
47
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- Astronaut, right?
- Uh...
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[downtempo electronic music]
49
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50
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Ah!
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52
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[squeaks]
53
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[growls]
55
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56
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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You wanted to see me, Mr. Pell?
58
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So our office manager,
Vanessa, is leaving to...
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[scoffs]
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Take care of her kids.
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- Her job is yours if you want it.
- What?
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Seriously?
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I... I am so honored.
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Might I inquire as to how you arrived at,
65
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uh, choosing me for this job?
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I asked which temp has
been here the longest,
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- and someone said it was you.
- I see.
68
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So my experience gave me the edge.
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The wise old owl, as it were.
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I'll go with that. That's fine.
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Oh, yep.
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Voil?. Eggs ? la Tom.
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Okay, before we dig in,
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I would like to propose a toast to Josh,
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who has some exciting job news.
76
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What? What job news?
77
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It's not that big a deal.
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It's a huge deal.
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He's the new office manager.
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- Oh.
- This... this is true.
81
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What does that mean? Office manager?
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I'll do stuff like order supplies,
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organize staff events,
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like March Madness pools
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and Girl Scout cookie season.
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Stuff like that, and...
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I get...
88
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Dun duh-duh-duuh
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- My own business card...
- So cool.
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With my name. That's the name you gave me.
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So cool.
92
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That's awesome. I love it.
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Joshie,
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I thought you were only
working at this place
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until you figured out
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what you really wanted
to do with your life.
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- This is a smart move for Josh.
- No!
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Josh is special.
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Jesus. What's her problem?
100
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Josh, I think there's
something you should see.
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I don't remember this really big tent.
102
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[gospel music]
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Josh is sanctified
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All:
Sanctified
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Who are these people?
106
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,081
You know how your mom
likes to brag about you.
107
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Yeah.
108
00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:54,884
- These people listen.
- Oh, man.
109
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- What did she tell them?
- Oh, just the usual.
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That you're smart and
talented and a living god.
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00:03:59,723 --> 00:04:00,990
- What?
- Yeah.
112
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:03,326
Oops, I gotta go. I have to play the bass.
113
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,095
Did he say living god?
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[gospel music flourish]
115
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Josh is testing me.
116
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Oh, he is testing me.
117
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He told me, "I got a job offer, mum,
118
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and it ain't a good one!"
119
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But you know what I did?
120
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I believed
121
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that Josh is destined for greatness!
122
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He could be a doctor!
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[bass flourish]
124
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He could be a lawyer!
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I'm a lawyer, Mom.
126
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He could be the president...
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[cheers and applause]
128
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Of the United States of America!
129
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[mouthing] Talamacah-shebaccah!
130
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[cheers and applause]
131
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:46,469
Yaminah-yaminah!
132
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Hocko!
133
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:49,405
Shaka-laka-laka!
134
00:04:49,473 --> 00:04:51,841
Homina! Homina, homina!
135
00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,442
No, no, Mom, will you please stop?
136
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You're really embarrassing me right now.
137
00:04:55,179 --> 00:04:56,679
It's he. The great one.
138
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I'm not a god. I'm not even kind of a god.
139
00:04:59,783 --> 00:05:04,220
Then how do you explain these holy relics?
140
00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:05,888
No, there's... they're not...
141
00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:08,124
those are mostly participation metals.
142
00:05:08,192 --> 00:05:11,127
Mom, look, just face it.
143
00:05:11,195 --> 00:05:13,062
There might not be...
144
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:16,465
maybe there's nothing
I'm naturally gifted at.
145
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,035
Oh, really? Nothing?
146
00:05:19,102 --> 00:05:22,171
Well, what about that
summer at computer camp?
147
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,639
148
00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:26,375
You were the best in the bunch,
149
00:05:26,443 --> 00:05:30,980
and they gave you a
certificate to prove it.
150
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:33,082
Uh... wow.
151
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,318
Made the frame himself. Shop class.
152
00:05:35,385 --> 00:05:37,753
May... maybe you're right.
153
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[laughs]
154
00:05:39,389 --> 00:05:40,923
Maybe I've been selling myself short.
155
00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:42,558
- Oh, yeah.
- You know, maybe...
156
00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:45,094
- Maybe screw that office job.
- You say it!
157
00:05:45,162 --> 00:05:47,196
Soulless office job.
158
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,564
I'm gonna do something with my life.
159
00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:49,932
[cheers and applause]
160
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,467
I'm gonna... I'm gonna follow my heart!
161
00:05:51,535 --> 00:05:53,402
Hallelujah!
162
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:55,571
Mr. Pell, could I speak to you a second?
163
00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:56,806
- Just a...
- Mm.
164
00:05:56,874 --> 00:05:58,107
Thank you.
165
00:05:58,175 --> 00:05:59,809
I'm sorry to put you in this position,
166
00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,544
but, uh...
167
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:04,447
upon further consideration,
168
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:06,482
I realize that I'm gonna have to decline
169
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:07,717
that office manager job.
170
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:08,885
I see.
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00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,554
I just... it would be unfair to me
172
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:14,657
to place limitations
on myself to do anything
173
00:06:14,725 --> 00:06:16,292
other than follow my dreams.
174
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,827
[woman moaning]
175
00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:19,729
Are you watching porn?
176
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,963
Yeah.
177
00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:22,298
Yeah.
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00:06:25,277 --> 00:06:28,059
Ugh, I can't believe you
still buy Schmort's Ice.
179
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,862
I stopped drinking this
cheap shit in college.
180
00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:33,165
- And there, I did it!
- Did what?
181
00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:36,401
I just signed up for a six
week beginners course
182
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:39,104
on computer coding.
183
00:06:39,172 --> 00:06:41,273
I'm gonna try and be a video game designer.
184
00:06:41,341 --> 00:06:43,208
- That's awesome.
- Right?
185
00:06:43,276 --> 00:06:44,876
No, I think my mother's right.
186
00:06:44,944 --> 00:06:46,812
It's time I start living
up to my potential,
187
00:06:46,879 --> 00:06:50,449
and I think I might even have
an idea for my very first game.
188
00:06:50,516 --> 00:06:51,917
- What is it?
- All right.
189
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:53,685
I can tell you.
190
00:06:53,753 --> 00:06:56,922
You just gotta promise to
keep it a bit of a secret.
191
00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:58,323
- These lips are sealed.
- All right.
192
00:06:58,391 --> 00:07:00,058
[blubbers]
193
00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:01,927
You're, like, the first
person I'm saying it to,
194
00:07:01,995 --> 00:07:03,528
like... okay.
195
00:07:03,596 --> 00:07:05,264
It's called "Abandoned Planet," all right?
196
00:07:05,331 --> 00:07:06,898
It's about a group of space marines
197
00:07:06,966 --> 00:07:08,800
who receive a mysterious distress call
198
00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:10,435
from an abandoned planet,
199
00:07:10,503 --> 00:07:12,671
uh, but there's a twist.
200
00:07:12,739 --> 00:07:15,073
The planet's not actually abandoned.
201
00:07:15,141 --> 00:07:16,208
Who's on it?
202
00:07:16,276 --> 00:07:18,510
Like... aliens.
203
00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:22,014
Okay.
204
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:23,915
Josh, I play a lot of video games,
205
00:07:23,983 --> 00:07:26,251
so I have a higher bar than most people...
206
00:07:28,988 --> 00:07:30,489
But I gotta say,
207
00:07:30,556 --> 00:07:34,159
that is the coolest shit I have ever heard.
208
00:07:34,227 --> 00:07:35,427
- Really?
- Swear to God.
209
00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:37,062
[laughs] I knew it.
210
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:39,464
- Dude, to "Abandoned Planet."
- To "Abandoned Planet."
211
00:07:39,532 --> 00:07:42,034
Oh, this is so exciting. [chuckles]
212
00:07:42,101 --> 00:07:45,103
- [groans]
- Oh, this beer is terrible.
213
00:07:45,171 --> 00:07:47,506
- It's like hotdog water.
- That's really bad.
214
00:07:47,573 --> 00:07:49,741
[upbeat electronic music]
215
00:07:49,809 --> 00:07:51,510
Phew.
216
00:07:51,577 --> 00:07:53,645
One of the most important
things you can't forget
217
00:07:53,713 --> 00:07:56,481
is to use a semicolon at the
end of every line of code.
218
00:07:56,549 --> 00:07:58,583
Otherwise your program,
it's just not gonna run.
219
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:01,386
220
00:08:01,454 --> 00:08:03,522
We wanna force the loop to exit here.
221
00:08:03,589 --> 00:08:05,857
What command do we use? Josh?
222
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,559
- Uh, break command.
- That's correct.
223
00:08:07,627 --> 00:08:10,462
Now we can work on the
code section below it.
224
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:13,131
225
00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:15,367
Wow. That's awesome.
226
00:08:15,435 --> 00:08:16,868
Congratulations, Josh.
227
00:08:16,936 --> 00:08:18,570
Are we gonna see you in our advanced class?
228
00:08:18,638 --> 00:08:19,805
- You betcha.
- Good stuff.
229
00:08:19,872 --> 00:08:21,306
Yeah.
230
00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:22,441
Phew.
231
00:08:24,444 --> 00:08:25,577
Um...
232
00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:32,617
Okay, uh, am I in the right class?
233
00:08:32,685 --> 00:08:34,019
Yes, Josh, have a seat.
234
00:08:34,087 --> 00:08:35,220
We just got started.
235
00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:37,589
Oh, thanks.
236
00:08:37,657 --> 00:08:40,058
Okay, now that you've all
gone through beginners coding,
237
00:08:40,126 --> 00:08:42,427
which... let's be honest...
was a bit of a joke, wasn't it?
238
00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:43,662
[all laugh]
239
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,297
We're now gonna get into
240
00:08:45,365 --> 00:08:47,099
what I like to call real
computer programming.
241
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,101
There's gonna be a little
bit of a learning curve,
242
00:08:49,168 --> 00:08:50,736
but you should be able
to get the hang of it
243
00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:52,471
as long as you have a handle on calculus,
244
00:08:52,538 --> 00:08:55,073
analytic geometry, data architecture,
245
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,508
and computational linguistics.
246
00:08:56,576 --> 00:08:58,443
- You're gonna be fine.
- Oh, man.
247
00:08:58,511 --> 00:09:00,112
Let's get started by saying our names
248
00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:02,247
and something interesting about ourselves.
249
00:09:03,816 --> 00:09:05,250
Uh, my name is Sporlon,
250
00:09:05,318 --> 00:09:06,585
son of Borlon.
251
00:09:06,652 --> 00:09:08,987
I come from a race of highly evolved
252
00:09:09,055 --> 00:09:11,757
ultra-brained superhumans.
253
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,058
I am Valeron,
254
00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:14,526
son of Valeron.
255
00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:17,229
I, too, come from a race of highly evolved
256
00:09:17,296 --> 00:09:18,964
ultra-brained superhumans.
257
00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:20,365
Josh?
258
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,067
Oh.
259
00:09:22,135 --> 00:09:23,702
Uh, I am Josh.
260
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:25,971
Uh...
261
00:09:26,038 --> 00:09:28,740
and something interesting about myself,
262
00:09:28,808 --> 00:09:31,777
um...
263
00:09:31,844 --> 00:09:34,880
Broke my elbow when I was ten
264
00:09:34,947 --> 00:09:37,449
while I was rollerblading.
265
00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:39,551
- Okay, uh...
- Yeah, thanks.
266
00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:41,153
Let's get started.
267
00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:42,721
We then utilize Dijkstra's algorithm,
268
00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:44,289
visiting each vertex recursively,
269
00:09:44,357 --> 00:09:45,590
guaranteeing the shortest path.
270
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:46,792
[all murmuring]
271
00:09:46,859 --> 00:09:48,293
Hey, hey, Borlon.
272
00:09:48,361 --> 00:09:50,128
Psst, Borlon.
273
00:09:50,196 --> 00:09:52,197
- Yes?
- I'm struggling, man.
274
00:09:52,265 --> 00:09:53,732
Would you mind helping me a bit?
275
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,933
[sighing] Fine.
276
00:09:55,001 --> 00:09:56,034
What is it?
277
00:09:57,870 --> 00:09:59,371
Thank you.
278
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:00,939
Thank you. I'm so sorry to interrupt.
279
00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:02,541
No, it's awesome.
280
00:10:02,608 --> 00:10:06,278
I'm just, like, so
confused by this algorithm.
281
00:10:06,345 --> 00:10:07,612
Well, just pulse your neurons
282
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,181
until the answer manifests itself.
283
00:10:09,248 --> 00:10:12,818
What? Pulse? Pulse my neurons?
284
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:14,853
Pulse my neurons. Was that in the book?
285
00:10:14,921 --> 00:10:18,156
I'm gonna pay attention to Greg now.
286
00:10:18,224 --> 00:10:20,792
And that's that on bounded heuristics.
287
00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,561
Great first class, everyone.
288
00:10:22,628 --> 00:10:24,463
Tonight's assignment is
just gonna be a fun one.
289
00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:27,532
I want each of you to design a
professional quality video game.
290
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,034
For [bleep] sake.
291
00:10:29,101 --> 00:10:30,702
This'll be your "Call of Duties,"
292
00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,838
your "World of Warcrafts,"
but not those exact games.
293
00:10:32,905 --> 00:10:34,072
All: Ha.
294
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,674
- [laughs]
- What?
295
00:10:35,741 --> 00:10:38,210
Wow, wha... what?
296
00:10:38,277 --> 00:10:40,312
I've never seen you work
this hard in your entire life.
297
00:10:40,379 --> 00:10:42,747
I'm impressed, okay? This is amazing.
298
00:10:42,815 --> 00:10:44,616
This is really cool.
299
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:46,852
Um, I am drowning, Liz.
300
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:49,688
The other students are
just so advanced, right?
301
00:10:49,755 --> 00:10:51,523
- [sighs]
- They all get the concepts...
302
00:10:51,591 --> 00:10:52,824
right away,
303
00:10:52,892 --> 00:10:54,593
and I can't prove this,
304
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,561
but I suspect they may be
305
00:10:56,629 --> 00:10:59,798
tapping into a collective
hive consciousness.
306
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:02,167
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
307
00:11:02,235 --> 00:11:03,401
Well...
308
00:11:03,469 --> 00:11:05,003
[clears throat]
309
00:11:05,071 --> 00:11:06,638
Okay.
310
00:11:06,706 --> 00:11:08,373
- This is your dream?
- Yeah.
311
00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:09,941
So, if this is really your dream, then...
312
00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:11,710
Yeah.
313
00:11:11,777 --> 00:11:13,378
Then screw those other guys.
314
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:14,946
- They sound lame.
- Yeah.
315
00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:17,883
You deserve to be in that class.
316
00:11:17,950 --> 00:11:20,952
[techno music]
317
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:28,627
318
00:11:28,694 --> 00:11:30,462
[sighs]
319
00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:31,796
[yawns]
320
00:11:31,864 --> 00:11:33,865
Man, oh, man.
321
00:11:33,933 --> 00:11:35,534
That was one hell of an assignment, huh?
322
00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:37,903
Hey, uh, what're you up to this weekend?
323
00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:39,538
Do you wanna grab a beer or something?
324
00:11:39,605 --> 00:11:41,306
Thanks, but I think I'm just
325
00:11:41,374 --> 00:11:42,707
planning on lying low this weekend.
326
00:11:42,775 --> 00:11:44,743
Oh, yeah, no. Fair enough.
327
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:46,278
All right, class, I'm really excited
328
00:11:46,345 --> 00:11:47,879
to see everyone's video games.
329
00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:50,282
So who wants to go first? I do, Greg.
330
00:11:50,349 --> 00:11:51,816
Borlon, okay, great.
331
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:53,552
Why don't we all gather
around his computer.
332
00:11:53,619 --> 00:11:55,153
Actually, I can project the video game
333
00:11:55,221 --> 00:11:57,022
as a hologram from my skull.
334
00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:59,524
Great. Show us what you got.
335
00:11:59,592 --> 00:12:01,693
[whispers] Jesus.
336
00:12:05,765 --> 00:12:07,532
[dramatic music]
337
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,701
Jesus Christ!
338
00:12:09,769 --> 00:12:11,269
Nice use of the parallax occlusions
339
00:12:11,337 --> 00:12:12,771
we talked about yesterday.
340
00:12:12,838 --> 00:12:15,807
I mean, I was just gonna
say the dragon looks cool.
341
00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:16,942
Ahh!
342
00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:20,111
My game is called "Golden Blade."
343
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:22,314
Very nice.
344
00:12:22,381 --> 00:12:23,782
Pass.
345
00:12:23,849 --> 00:12:25,584
Josh, would you like to go next?
346
00:12:25,651 --> 00:12:28,119
No... I mean, um...
347
00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,688
Yeah, yeah, I could,
348
00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:32,023
but if, uh...
349
00:12:32,091 --> 00:12:34,626
Valeron or, uh, Ob...
350
00:12:34,694 --> 00:12:38,196
um, Albien... Albon would like to go...
351
00:12:38,264 --> 00:12:39,698
Don't be silly. Come on, everyone.
352
00:12:39,765 --> 00:12:41,633
- Let's gather around.
- So, uh, yeah.
353
00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:43,201
Here it is.
354
00:12:43,269 --> 00:12:46,271
[electronic music]
355
00:12:46,339 --> 00:12:47,939
356
00:12:48,007 --> 00:12:49,407
[electronic static]
357
00:12:49,475 --> 00:12:51,476
God damn it.
358
00:12:51,544 --> 00:12:53,678
Uh...
359
00:12:53,746 --> 00:12:54,946
What do you think?
360
00:12:55,014 --> 00:12:56,214
Control, Alt, Delete?
361
00:12:56,282 --> 00:12:58,149
Is that... what do you guys think?
362
00:12:58,217 --> 00:12:59,818
That's... it's okay. It's okay.
363
00:12:59,885 --> 00:13:02,621
- We're done?
- Yeah... yeah, yeah.
364
00:13:02,688 --> 00:13:04,823
[somber music]
365
00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:06,658
I'm sorry, Josh,
366
00:13:06,726 --> 00:13:09,127
I just don't think video
game design is for you.
367
00:13:09,195 --> 00:13:11,863
I... it... but it has to be for me, man.
368
00:13:11,931 --> 00:13:15,300
I got noth... like,
this... this is my dream.
369
00:13:15,368 --> 00:13:18,069
Sometimes dreams are just dreams.
370
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,008
Borlon, will I see you at
the cool party this weekend?
371
00:13:23,075 --> 00:13:25,343
- Definitely.
- You... Borlon!
372
00:13:25,411 --> 00:13:28,380
When I asked you what you
were doing this weekend,
373
00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:29,614
you said you were laying low.
374
00:13:29,682 --> 00:13:32,017
Well, um, the thing is,
375
00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:34,886
um, at the time that you
asked what I was doing,
376
00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:38,423
I actually was planning
on laying low this weekend.
377
00:13:38,491 --> 00:13:39,791
That much is true.
378
00:13:39,859 --> 00:13:42,127
I get it. Just... just go.
379
00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,062
Thank you.
380
00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:45,897
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
381
00:13:51,215 --> 00:13:53,183
Mr. Pell, could I talk to you for a second?
382
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:54,451
Sure.
383
00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:56,520
[sighs] Uh...
384
00:13:56,587 --> 00:14:00,190
I would like to reopen
385
00:14:00,258 --> 00:14:02,759
the office manager dialogue.
386
00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:05,595
Uh, so, upon further...
387
00:14:05,663 --> 00:14:07,297
further consideration,
388
00:14:07,365 --> 00:14:10,334
I realize that I would love
389
00:14:10,401 --> 00:14:13,170
to reaccept that job
390
00:14:13,237 --> 00:14:14,871
if it were still available.
391
00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:16,707
Truth is, I would be lucky to have it.
392
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:18,208
Great. [explosion]
393
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:21,144
The truth is, I don't really care, so...
394
00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:22,379
you can have the job.
395
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:23,647
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
396
00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:26,016
Thank you. Thank you.
397
00:14:26,084 --> 00:14:27,718
Yep, right.
398
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:30,620
Your expected wait
time is 40 minutes.
399
00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:34,491
Enter the item code into
the second entry field.
400
00:14:34,559 --> 00:14:36,560
What the hell does that mean?
401
00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:40,063
- Paycheck.
- Thank you.
402
00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:42,499
Your expected wait time is 2 hours.
403
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:44,067
What? How did that happen?
404
00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:47,504
So, Josh, how are your
computer classes going?
405
00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:50,007
Now, I want to hear everything.
406
00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:51,441
Yeah. Oh, good. Good, thank you.
407
00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:53,110
I've never played a video game in my life,
408
00:14:53,177 --> 00:14:55,445
but once yours comes out,
I'm gonna be all over it.
409
00:14:55,513 --> 00:14:57,414
- You should try "Tetris."
- It's a good one.
410
00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:01,385
By the way, I was reading
a very interesting article
411
00:15:01,452 --> 00:15:03,086
in "The New York Times"
412
00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:05,055
about Mark Zuckerberg.
413
00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:06,890
I think you should talk to him.
414
00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:09,860
No, I... Mark Zuckerberg
doesn't want to talk to me.
415
00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:11,161
- Oh, sure he does.
- Yeah.
416
00:15:11,229 --> 00:15:12,562
You two would have a lot in common.
417
00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:14,097
Huh.
418
00:15:14,165 --> 00:15:15,665
And then when you're done with that,
419
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:17,567
maybe you could take a look
at that printer of mine.
420
00:15:17,635 --> 00:15:19,569
[sighs]
421
00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:22,873
You know, I really...
I appreciate the support.
422
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:25,042
- The thing is...
- Oh, wait, I almost forgot.
423
00:15:25,109 --> 00:15:28,412
I know you haven't graduated yet...
424
00:15:28,479 --> 00:15:29,780
- She did not.
- Oh, no.
425
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:31,381
But I couldn't help myself!
426
00:15:31,449 --> 00:15:33,450
We're just all so proud of you.
427
00:15:33,518 --> 00:15:35,218
Okay...
428
00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:37,054
That is so adorable. Look.
429
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:38,922
[laughs] [sighs]
430
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:41,825
[somber music]
431
00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:45,162
Yeah, uh, I quit those classes.
432
00:15:45,229 --> 00:15:47,998
I was just in way over my head.
433
00:15:48,066 --> 00:15:51,134
I took that office manager job.
434
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:53,070
- You're better than that job.
- No, I'm not.
435
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:55,639
I'm not; that job is
literally the best I can do,
436
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,340
and I'll be honest.
437
00:15:57,408 --> 00:16:00,911
All the, like, overwhelming
expectation and pride
438
00:16:00,978 --> 00:16:03,413
was making me feel terrible about myself.
439
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:11,154
I'm sorry.
440
00:16:11,222 --> 00:16:12,823
I'm sorry, Josh.
441
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:16,093
I didn't want you to feel bad.
442
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,628
[sighs] Well, I'll, uh...
443
00:16:18,696 --> 00:16:20,597
I'll get some plates.
444
00:16:20,665 --> 00:16:23,600
Dude, this game, "Golden Blade," is sick.
445
00:16:23,668 --> 00:16:25,769
Yeah, yeah, it was a big big hit.
446
00:16:25,837 --> 00:16:27,137
Borlon knows what he's doing.
447
00:16:27,205 --> 00:16:28,538
- Wait, Borlon made this game?
- Yeah.
448
00:16:28,606 --> 00:16:30,440
Must have just came
right out of your class...
449
00:16:30,508 --> 00:16:32,442
- I guess so.
- And just killed it.
450
00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,643
Yeah.
451
00:16:33,711 --> 00:16:35,345
But, you know, I mean,
452
00:16:35,413 --> 00:16:38,181
I'm sorry that your dreams died.
453
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:39,449
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
454
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:40,650
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
455
00:16:40,718 --> 00:16:42,819
Whoa!
456
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,888
Hey, we're out of beer.
Should we get more Schmort's?
457
00:16:44,956 --> 00:16:46,556
Actually, you know what?
458
00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:48,592
I can do a lot better than Schmort's.
459
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,193
- Really?
- Yes, really.
460
00:16:50,261 --> 00:16:52,028
And I'll tell you what.
461
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,263
It's on me.
462
00:16:53,331 --> 00:16:55,699
Dude, that's awesome.
463
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:56,967
That is awesome.
464
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,368
So how do I look?
465
00:16:58,436 --> 00:16:59,636
You look great.
466
00:16:59,704 --> 00:17:01,738
Uh, let me just put your cap on.
467
00:17:01,806 --> 00:17:03,006
Both: Okay.
468
00:17:03,074 --> 00:17:04,808
Now remember, tassel to your left.
469
00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:05,976
- Oh.
- Okay?
470
00:17:06,043 --> 00:17:07,244
You haven't graduated yet.
471
00:17:07,311 --> 00:17:08,612
All right, wish me luck.
472
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:09,813
- Good luck.
- Here goes nothing.
473
00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:10,981
Big moment.
474
00:17:13,251 --> 00:17:16,253
[marching band music]
475
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:24,094
476
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,934
Greetings, friends and loved ones.
477
00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:33,036
We are gathered here today
478
00:17:33,104 --> 00:17:35,105
to celebrate the young men
479
00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:37,307
and young women of this community
480
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:40,944
who are graduating from their shitty beer
481
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,679
to a decent beer.
482
00:17:42,747 --> 00:17:44,581
Also, keep in mind,
483
00:17:44,649 --> 00:17:48,885
this week I have reduced
my mixed nuts to $6.99,
484
00:17:48,953 --> 00:17:51,054
not like Ernie's across the street,
485
00:17:51,122 --> 00:17:54,324
but enough about me.
486
00:17:54,392 --> 00:17:58,528
Now, the first graduate
I want to bring up today,
487
00:17:58,596 --> 00:18:00,664
he used to be big, big loser,
488
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:03,033
and we would see him go
outside, we would laugh at him,
489
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,302
and he's almost a man now.
490
00:18:05,369 --> 00:18:08,438
Please, help me welcome
to the cash register
491
00:18:08,506 --> 00:18:10,240
Mr. Josh Greenberg.
492
00:18:10,308 --> 00:18:11,608
[cheers and applause]
493
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,210
[band playing "Pomp and Circumstance"]
494
00:18:13,277 --> 00:18:14,444
That's you!
495
00:18:14,512 --> 00:18:16,446
Whoo!
496
00:18:16,514 --> 00:18:20,784
497
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:24,120
Joshie! You the man!
498
00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,555
[mouthing]
499
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:30,694
This is a good one, right?
500
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,029
Both: Yes!
501
00:18:33,097 --> 00:18:34,531
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
502
00:18:34,599 --> 00:18:35,799
- $10.99.
- All right.
503
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,301
Wait! Wait, don't start without us.
504
00:18:38,369 --> 00:18:40,003
- Hey!
- Hey, Bud.
505
00:18:40,071 --> 00:18:41,504
- I'm so sorry we're late.
- There... oh.
506
00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:43,006
- Your mom forgot the camera.
- Oh, Tom.
507
00:18:43,074 --> 00:18:46,076
[heartfelt music]
508
00:18:46,143 --> 00:18:47,244
509
00:18:47,311 --> 00:18:48,578
Oh, look, Tom.
510
00:18:48,646 --> 00:18:50,680
Tom, he's paying with a 20.
511
00:18:50,748 --> 00:18:51,982
- It's a 20.
- Oh, my Josh.
512
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:53,250
Would you like to donate $1
513
00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:54,584
to the American Red Cross?
514
00:18:54,652 --> 00:18:55,952
No, that's...
515
00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,187
Yeah!
516
00:18:57,255 --> 00:18:58,655
[cheers and applause]
517
00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:00,390
[gospel music]
518
00:19:00,458 --> 00:19:01,591
With the good Lord beside me
519
00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:04,160
And his love to guide me
520
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,863
I know that somedayI can find my dream
521
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:08,031
[camera shutter clicks]
522
00:19:09,091 --> 00:19:12,077
So those will be product codes 1-1-4-K
523
00:19:12,145 --> 00:19:13,712
and 1-1-5-K.
524
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:14,913
I know, exotic, right?
525
00:19:14,981 --> 00:19:16,215
[laughs]
526
00:19:16,282 --> 00:19:17,783
All right, thanks, Pat.
527
00:19:17,851 --> 00:19:19,585
Good luck with that
cold. All right, bye-bye.
528
00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:21,487
Hi, sorry to interrupt.
529
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:23,388
Um, I'm the new temp, and
I'm wondering if I can get
530
00:19:23,456 --> 00:19:24,790
a new chair for my desk
531
00:19:24,858 --> 00:19:26,458
because the old one smells really terrible.
532
00:19:26,526 --> 00:19:28,760
Oh, yes, that's... oh. Of course, yeah.
533
00:19:28,828 --> 00:19:30,529
Uh, I'll order one today.
534
00:19:30,597 --> 00:19:32,764
It'll be here, um...
535
00:19:32,832 --> 00:19:34,533
Uh, Wednesday.
536
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,768
Great, thank you. I'm Rosa, by the way.
537
00:19:36,836 --> 00:19:39,004
I'm Josh. Actually...
538
00:19:40,773 --> 00:19:43,008
Josh Greenberg, office manager.
539
00:19:44,777 --> 00:19:46,311
- Cool card.
- Oh, thanks.
540
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:53,163
Whoa...
541
00:19:53,283 --> 00:19:55,498
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
542
00:19:55,548 --> 00:20:00,098
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