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1
00:00:01,317 --> 00:00:02,566
[voice-mail beeps]
Hey, Josh.
2
00:00:02,568 --> 00:00:03,650
Where you been, man?
3
00:00:03,652 --> 00:00:05,018
I've been texting you all week.
4
00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:06,737
I just downloaded the "Blade" trilogy,
5
00:00:06,739 --> 00:00:09,690
and I got some new weed
called Chupacabra's Nightmare.
6
00:00:09,692 --> 00:00:11,942
It'll get you messed up!
7
00:00:11,944 --> 00:00:13,193
Anyway, hang out with me.
8
00:00:13,195 --> 00:00:15,112
Bye.
9
00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:20,033
[militaristic music]
10
00:00:20,035 --> 00:00:28,542
11
00:00:28,544 --> 00:00:29,760
Hey, guys.
12
00:00:29,762 --> 00:00:31,128
How can I help you?
13
00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:33,464
We're looking for Josh's best friend.
14
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,182
That's me. Come on in.
15
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,970
Can I offer you gentlemen some beers?
16
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,388
Thank you, we're fine.
17
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:42,806
You sure? It's no trouble at all.
18
00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:44,274
If you're looking for Josh,
19
00:00:44,276 --> 00:00:47,194
he's on his way over here right now, so...
20
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:51,482
[can cracks open]
21
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,567
[sighs] I'm afraid Josh
22
00:00:53,569 --> 00:00:55,652
won't be coming over to hang out tonight.
23
00:00:55,654 --> 00:00:56,904
Why not?
24
00:00:56,906 --> 00:00:58,288
He got a girlfriend.
25
00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,907
[gasps]
26
00:00:59,909 --> 00:01:01,158
[somber music, beer splashing]
27
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,161
I-I-I-I-I-I just...
28
00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:05,295
I don't understand.
29
00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:06,997
How could this have happened?
30
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:10,133
He was walking alone
through a party late at night.
31
00:01:10,135 --> 00:01:12,753
Visibility was low.
32
00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:14,922
A woman named Kelly heard him
33
00:01:14,924 --> 00:01:16,507
talking "House of Cards."
34
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:18,308
And she said
35
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:21,345
she also liked watching "House of Cards."
36
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:22,429
No.
37
00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:24,147
They hooked up that night.
38
00:01:24,149 --> 00:01:27,601
If it's any consolation,
it was over pretty quick.
39
00:01:27,603 --> 00:01:29,269
Anyway, they're a thing now.
40
00:01:29,271 --> 00:01:31,522
So... so... so how...
how long until
41
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,991
he can hang out again?
42
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,859
[melancholy piano music]
43
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:38,495
Son, it's not that simple.
44
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:42,783
This new girlfriend of
his, she's really hot.
45
00:01:42,785 --> 00:01:44,334
It's like when you first see her,
46
00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:47,621
it's like, "Whoa, she's hot!"
47
00:01:47,623 --> 00:01:51,375
He's gonna want to be with her 24/7.
48
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:53,544
Doctors say he may never hang again.
49
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,712
You're wrong. Josh is a fighter, okay?
50
00:01:55,714 --> 00:01:57,047
I'm his best friend!
51
00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:59,850
He's gonna hang out with me again!
52
00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:01,385
Son, you have our deepest sympathies.
53
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,719
What? No!
54
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:05,055
[stammering]
55
00:02:05,057 --> 00:02:07,057
You guys want to watch the "Blade" trilogy?
56
00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:08,725
It's already downloaded.
57
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:10,143
Actually, we just watched that,
58
00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:11,695
like, two weeks ago.
59
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,363
It's really fun, but skip the third one.
60
00:02:13,365 --> 00:02:14,481
Really?
61
00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:15,482
Trailer's great,
62
00:02:15,484 --> 00:02:16,817
but don't let that fool you.
63
00:02:16,819 --> 00:02:17,901
Okay.
64
00:02:17,903 --> 00:02:20,954
[upbeat music]
65
00:02:20,956 --> 00:02:28,745
66
00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:44,934
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
67
00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:47,898
[trilling]
68
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,433
[laughs]
69
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,734
See, I told you it wouldn't be too spicy.
70
00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:52,436
You were right.
71
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:54,321
She was very worried
that it would be too spicy.
72
00:02:54,323 --> 00:02:55,939
But I told you. Who knows you, huh?
73
00:02:55,941 --> 00:02:57,107
- You do.
- Know the answer?
74
00:02:57,109 --> 00:02:59,943
Yeah, it's me.
75
00:02:59,945 --> 00:03:01,278
Mike, it was so nice meeting you.
76
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,279
I got to go.
77
00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:04,114
- No!
- Yeah.
78
00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,833
- I'm so sad when you leave.
- I know. I know.
79
00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:08,335
I'm sad when she leaves.
80
00:03:08,337 --> 00:03:09,503
- Bye.
- Bye.
81
00:03:09,505 --> 00:03:10,787
Bye.
82
00:03:10,789 --> 00:03:12,289
I... I'll tell you, I'm smitten.
83
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:14,007
I can tell.
84
00:03:14,009 --> 00:03:15,759
Tonight, we're gonna
make a salade nicoise,
85
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:17,761
which apparently is a salad
86
00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:19,463
that you, like, eat for dinner.
87
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:20,881
No, no, no, you can't tonight.
88
00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:21,882
We got plans.
89
00:03:21,884 --> 00:03:22,883
What, what plans?
90
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:23,884
We were gonna get high
91
00:03:23,886 --> 00:03:24,885
and talk onto the fan.
92
00:03:24,887 --> 00:03:26,103
I remember we said
93
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:27,638
that would be a funny thing to do,
94
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,806
but they weren't, like, definite plans.
95
00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:31,475
I mean, it wasn't
a definite plan, but...
96
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:32,476
Exactly.
97
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:33,560
Isn't she amazing?
98
00:03:33,562 --> 00:03:34,611
But
it was...
99
00:03:34,613 --> 00:03:35,729
See ya!
100
00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:37,648
We talked
about... mm.
101
00:03:39,618 --> 00:03:40,984
Great news, bro.
102
00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:42,653
Crazy Wings paid off their health fines,
103
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:44,655
which means they can
legally serve food again,
104
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,323
and guys' night is back.
105
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,291
- Yeah, cool, man.
- _
106
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:49,793
- So you'll be there Friday?
- _
107
00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:50,877
- Yeah, sure.
- _
108
00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:52,963
- So this is a plan, right?
- _
109
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:53,997
- A definite plan.
- _
110
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:55,132
- Yeah, it's a definite plan.
- _
111
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,383
- Awesome!
- _
112
00:03:56,385 --> 00:03:57,884
- Okay, great. I'll see you there.
- _
113
00:04:00,472 --> 00:04:02,839
Wings are getting cold.
114
00:04:02,841 --> 00:04:05,842
We wait for Josh.
115
00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:06,843
[phone buzzes]
116
00:04:06,845 --> 00:04:08,512
Ha, it's him.
117
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,513
"Hey, man, sorry.
118
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:10,814
"Feeling kind of beat.
119
00:04:10,816 --> 00:04:12,349
Gonna stay in and hang with Kel."
120
00:04:12,351 --> 00:04:14,851
Goddamn it, man!
121
00:04:14,853 --> 00:04:17,154
Don't you guys see what's happening here?
122
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,522
First, he cuts our hours.
123
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,023
Next thing you know, we're part-time.
124
00:04:20,025 --> 00:04:22,192
Then whoops, there goes guys' night.
125
00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:24,995
Whoops, there goes the email chain.
126
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:26,780
I don't know about you sons of bitches,
127
00:04:26,782 --> 00:04:28,999
but I am not gonna take this lying down.
128
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,868
[militaristic music]
129
00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:34,204
Look, we're all here for
the same reason, right?
130
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:36,206
Since Josh got this new girlfriend,
131
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:37,874
we have all been feeling squeezed.
132
00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:39,626
But if we want a strong negotiation,
133
00:04:39,628 --> 00:04:42,846
we need to go to him with
specific demands, okay?
134
00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:45,966
Uh, Liz, you go first.
135
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:47,517
I would like my brother Josh
136
00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:49,686
to accompany me to Nana's house
137
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,388
so that I have someone to nudge
138
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:53,890
when she says all that racist stuff.
139
00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:56,026
Good, okay.
140
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:57,144
Uh, Tom.
141
00:04:57,146 --> 00:04:58,695
I think it would be nice
142
00:04:58,697 --> 00:05:00,731
if Josh took a few
minutes every now and again
143
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,566
to help me with that Macintosh.
144
00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:06,570
Just when it does that
spinning ball thing, you know?
145
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,239
'Cause every time I
try and do anything...
146
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:11,658
you know, Hotmail,
my "Tetris"...
147
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:13,076
I keep getting that darn ball.
148
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:14,745
Have you used... have
you seen this thing?
149
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,213
More computer help. We got it, Tom.
150
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:17,581
Swirly rainbow ball.
151
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,883
100%. Thank you. Is that everything?
152
00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:22,085
Not by a long shot.
153
00:05:22,087 --> 00:05:23,670
[suspenseful music]
154
00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:28,258
I've been working as
Josh's mom for 28 years,
155
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:33,063
and I want him to honor
our original agreement.
156
00:05:33,065 --> 00:05:36,733
I want to feed him every four hours
157
00:05:36,735 --> 00:05:40,904
and give him a bath before bedtime.
158
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:42,939
I want to wash his tushy
159
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:44,691
and his dinky
160
00:05:44,693 --> 00:05:45,942
and his bobos!
161
00:05:45,944 --> 00:05:48,028
- Okay, enough.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
162
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,280
Okay.
I want to wash them!
163
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:52,282
Uh, look...
164
00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:53,450
[somber music]
165
00:05:53,452 --> 00:05:57,204
We might not get all of our demands.
166
00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,955
But, God damn it, I'll try.
167
00:05:58,957 --> 00:06:00,290
[triumphant music]
168
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:03,426
[applause and cheers]
169
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:04,928
170
00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,798
And finally, most importantly,
171
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,432
my personal demands.
172
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:10,934
I am willing to go
173
00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:12,636
from 40 hours of "Call of Duty" a week
174
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:13,804
down to 35.
175
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:15,472
When we go out to the bars,
176
00:06:15,474 --> 00:06:17,390
we don't have to get
completely shit-housed,
177
00:06:17,392 --> 00:06:19,810
but we do have to get hammered.
178
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:23,480
Lastly... and this one, I
simply cannot budge on...
179
00:06:23,482 --> 00:06:26,149
we need to smoke weed every day.
180
00:06:26,151 --> 00:06:27,617
Wow, okay.
181
00:06:27,619 --> 00:06:29,653
I mean, Michael, you are living
182
00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:30,654
in a dream world.
183
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:31,988
The landscape is changing.
184
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,207
The reality is, I have a girlfriend,
185
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:36,159
and I... I quite
enjoy her company.
186
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:38,662
So here's what we're prepared to offer.
187
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,747
[dramatic music]
188
00:06:40,749 --> 00:06:42,082
[whispers] Wings once a week.
189
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:44,634
Wings once a week.
190
00:06:44,636 --> 00:06:45,669
And?
191
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,170
And we think
192
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:48,805
that's a very fair and generous offer.
193
00:06:48,807 --> 00:06:49,923
It's interesting.
194
00:06:49,925 --> 00:06:53,810
Yeah, yeah, allow me to counter.
195
00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:55,762
How about you take that offer
196
00:06:55,764 --> 00:06:57,931
and you shove it up your
girlfriend-loving ass?
197
00:06:57,933 --> 00:07:00,183
Okay, I think we've had
just about enough of this.
198
00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,852
Yes, um...
199
00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:03,353
you just lost wings.
200
00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:06,439
[haunting music]
201
00:07:06,441 --> 00:07:09,025
202
00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:10,994
You just lost wings.
203
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:14,698
204
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:15,699
Yeah, no, enough!
205
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,033
We got it!
206
00:07:17,035 --> 00:07:18,368
You guys [Bleep] that up!
207
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:19,870
You [Bleep] it up for me!
208
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:22,539
- Oh!
- Mm!
209
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:24,624
Oh, you want to watch another episode?
210
00:07:24,626 --> 00:07:26,509
- Do you? Yes.
- Yeah.
211
00:07:26,511 --> 00:07:28,128
I got nowhere to be.
212
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:32,716
More hangout! More hangout! More hangout!
213
00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:33,717
What is that?
214
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,969
That is... that is...
215
00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:37,020
that is nothing.
216
00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,973
Uh, just stay put one second.
217
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:41,224
Okay.
218
00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:42,776
I'll be right back.
219
00:07:42,778 --> 00:07:45,528
All: More hangouts! More hangouts!
220
00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:46,529
Wait, look!
221
00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:48,365
All right, hi, everyone.
222
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,233
Sorry, I just wanted to
give everyone an update.
223
00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:53,403
So Kelly and are inside
watching "Mr. Robot,"
224
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:54,988
and that's not gonna change,
225
00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:58,541
but if you want to join us, on our terms,
226
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:00,710
there's a spot for all of you on the couch.
227
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:01,745
No way, man.
228
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,413
We're not gonna cave, okay?
229
00:08:03,415 --> 00:08:05,248
It... it's not a hangout
if Kelly's there.
230
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,584
It's a couples thing.
231
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,502
Please. Come on, man.
232
00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:12,222
I'm your best friend.
233
00:08:12,224 --> 00:08:14,925
I'm sorry, Mike.
234
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:17,260
[somber music]
235
00:08:17,262 --> 00:08:18,561
I have to say,
236
00:08:18,563 --> 00:08:20,764
I am a little curious
237
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,565
to meet the famous Kelly.
238
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:24,100
Maybe I'll just pop in
239
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:25,101
for a quick look.
240
00:08:25,103 --> 00:08:27,020
What? No!
241
00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:30,523
Tom!
242
00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:32,859
Dude, I got to use the bathroom.
243
00:08:32,861 --> 00:08:34,444
Do not cross the picket line!
244
00:08:34,446 --> 00:08:35,445
Come on!
245
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:36,613
No, hey!
246
00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:39,249
Guys, get back here now.
247
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:42,285
Guys!
248
00:08:42,287 --> 00:08:43,703
Sorry, man.
249
00:08:43,705 --> 00:08:45,121
It's over.
250
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:48,124
Some battles, you just can't win.
251
00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:51,177
[somber music]
252
00:08:51,179 --> 00:08:54,431
253
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,700
[megaphone screeches]
254
00:08:58,990 --> 00:09:00,285
So what are you up to this weekend?
255
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:01,833
You and Mike gonna get into some trouble?
256
00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:04,472
Well, well...
257
00:09:04,474 --> 00:09:06,641
uh, Mike and I aren't really
258
00:09:06,643 --> 00:09:08,142
hanging out that much lately.
259
00:09:08,144 --> 00:09:09,073
Oh, I'm sorry.
260
00:09:09,193 --> 00:09:11,335
You know, it's okay,
'cause it means that I get
261
00:09:11,455 --> 00:09:13,648
that much more time to hang out with you.
262
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:14,982
What should we do this weekend?
263
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:17,785
We can yoga,
flea markets...
264
00:09:17,787 --> 00:09:19,487
I have that thing
this weekend, remember?
265
00:09:19,489 --> 00:09:21,122
Uh-uh, no. What... what thing?
266
00:09:21,124 --> 00:09:22,907
I'm going to the cabin
with my high school friends.
267
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:23,991
I thought I told you.
268
00:09:23,993 --> 00:09:25,409
Yeah, yeah, no, that's cool.
269
00:09:25,411 --> 00:09:26,744
I'll figure something else to do.
270
00:09:26,746 --> 00:09:29,580
I just... tacos.
Tacos for one.
271
00:09:36,806 --> 00:09:38,923
It would...
272
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,425
it would be really boring for you,
273
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:43,427
but...
274
00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:46,013
I guess if you wanted...
275
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:47,348
to come...
276
00:09:47,350 --> 00:09:48,816
Nnnnnnnnnn!
277
00:09:48,818 --> 00:09:51,102
Are you serious?
278
00:09:51,104 --> 00:09:52,687
I would love to!
279
00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:54,105
All right, I'll start packing now.
280
00:09:54,107 --> 00:09:55,106
Have you seen my trunks?
281
00:09:55,108 --> 00:09:56,774
Not... don't
answer that.
282
00:09:56,776 --> 00:09:57,908
Half the fun is finding.
283
00:09:57,910 --> 00:10:00,995
[upbeat music]
284
00:10:00,997 --> 00:10:04,282
285
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:05,700
Hey, guys!
286
00:10:05,702 --> 00:10:06,701
- Hey!- Hey!
287
00:10:06,703 --> 00:10:07,868
[screams]
288
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:10,204
All: The Kelster!
289
00:10:10,206 --> 00:10:12,540
Guys, this is my boyfriend, Josh.
290
00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:15,876
Um, the Joshster.
291
00:10:15,878 --> 00:10:17,545
[bird cawing]
292
00:10:17,547 --> 00:10:19,880
It could be a thing. It could be.
293
00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:21,682
You know what?
294
00:10:21,684 --> 00:10:23,718
We should shotgun some beers!
295
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,854
[all cheer]
296
00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:28,556
[stammering]
297
00:10:28,558 --> 00:10:30,057
Are sure it's cool for me to be here?
298
00:10:30,059 --> 00:10:31,559
- You're gonna fit right in.
- All right.
299
00:10:31,561 --> 00:10:32,810
[light music]
300
00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,445
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
301
00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:40,651
302
00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:42,203
[all laughing]
303
00:10:42,205 --> 00:10:43,988
This place has some memories, man.
304
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:46,073
Yeah, like when
Spencer ate too much pizza
305
00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:48,409
and blew chunks in the hot tub.
306
00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:50,578
All: More cheese, please!
307
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,997
Will I ever live that down?
308
00:10:52,999 --> 00:10:54,081
What is that? What is that?
309
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,166
Oh, it's stupid.
310
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,250
It's just an inside joke.
311
00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:57,668
You kind of had to be there.
312
00:10:57,670 --> 00:11:00,254
My friends and I, we
have inside jokes too.
313
00:11:00,256 --> 00:11:02,506
[crickets chirping, flames crackling]
314
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:03,891
That was also the summer...
315
00:11:03,893 --> 00:11:04,842
[suspenseful music]
316
00:11:04,844 --> 00:11:07,595
Everything changed.
317
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:09,430
And we were forever linked.
318
00:11:09,432 --> 00:11:13,100
[suspenseful music crescendos]
319
00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:14,568
Sorry, why... why?
320
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:17,355
Why... why are you
forever linked?
321
00:11:17,357 --> 00:11:19,607
Again, it's so stupid.
322
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:21,442
But there was this one time after prom
323
00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,027
we were all driving to this very cabin,
324
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,445
and things got a little out of hand,
325
00:11:24,447 --> 00:11:26,197
and we accidentally ran over a lumberjack.
326
00:11:26,199 --> 00:11:27,698
We buried him in the woods,
327
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:30,284
but then he was resurrected by the devil.
328
00:11:30,286 --> 00:11:31,619
[eerie music]
329
00:11:31,621 --> 00:11:33,287
I guess you kind of had to be there.
330
00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:36,207
No... no, I... I
get it completely.
331
00:11:38,761 --> 00:11:40,044
Wow, look at this,
332
00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,379
a puzzle!
333
00:11:41,381 --> 00:11:42,763
All right, now we're in business.
334
00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:44,498
Guys, look at this.
335
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:48,302
- [suspenseful music]
- _
336
00:11:48,304 --> 00:11:50,471
Are we doing the puzzle or not?
337
00:11:50,473 --> 00:11:51,972
The lumberjack is back!
338
00:11:51,974 --> 00:11:53,641
- We killed him.
- I'm so scared.
339
00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:54,809
We're all gonna die.
340
00:11:54,811 --> 00:11:56,277
We're all gonna die.
341
00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:57,895
Oh, sorry, man.
342
00:11:57,897 --> 00:11:59,814
I meant we were all gonna die.
343
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:00,815
Just us.
344
00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:02,116
Oh, I get it.
345
00:12:02,118 --> 00:12:04,402
346
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:11,659
[sighs loudly]
347
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:14,578
[somber music]
348
00:12:17,986 --> 00:12:19,226
_
349
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:22,169
The Blade had returned a second time
350
00:12:22,171 --> 00:12:24,255
and fallen right into my trap.
351
00:12:24,257 --> 00:12:27,758
Some Blades, it seems,are not so sharp.
352
00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:29,620
_
353
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,012
Damn it.
354
00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:33,314
[sighs]
355
00:12:33,316 --> 00:12:34,265
[suspenseful music]
356
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:37,184
[screams]
357
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:41,272
Who are you?
358
00:12:41,274 --> 00:12:43,607
I'm Kelly's boyfriend.
359
00:12:43,609 --> 00:12:46,193
I just kind of tagged along.
360
00:12:46,195 --> 00:12:48,162
Oh.
361
00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:49,530
[roaring]
362
00:12:49,532 --> 00:12:50,531
363
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:53,250
[people yelling and screaming]
364
00:12:53,252 --> 00:12:54,785
[blade slashing]
365
00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:55,786
Hey, you.
366
00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:57,204
Oh, hi, hi.
367
00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,840
How... how's the
lumberjack thing going?
368
00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:00,875
Well, Jamal's dead,
369
00:13:00,877 --> 00:13:02,543
so that was pretty intense.
370
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:04,678
Are you having fun?
371
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:05,679
Yeah!
372
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,631
Yeah, I guess.
373
00:13:07,633 --> 00:13:09,216
Hey, what's wrong?
374
00:13:09,218 --> 00:13:11,685
It's just you and your friends
375
00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,138
have, like, a secret history
that I'm not a part of,
376
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:17,525
with the nicknames and
the undead lumberjack.
377
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:18,893
I just feel like maybe we haven't
378
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:21,145
gotten the chance to hang out that much.
379
00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:23,230
Okay, well, what do you want to do?
380
00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:26,484
You... you can help
me with this puzzle.
381
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:27,568
Sure.
382
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,153
All right, good.
383
00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:30,905
So I've been trying to tackle the clouds...
384
00:13:30,907 --> 00:13:32,239
[screaming]
385
00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:33,741
Which is actually tricky business,
386
00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:35,242
because they look a lot like the pond
387
00:13:35,244 --> 00:13:37,461
and also just white stuff.
388
00:13:37,463 --> 00:13:38,829
- Get the axe!- I got it!
389
00:13:38,831 --> 00:13:40,414
Oh, hey, here. Let me pick your brain.
390
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:42,583
Does this look like a part of a bird
391
00:13:42,585 --> 00:13:44,752
or a piece of a pussy willow to you?
392
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:47,054
Oh, oh. Oh!
393
00:13:47,056 --> 00:13:48,422
[blade slashing]
Hey, hey, Kel?
394
00:13:48,424 --> 00:13:49,423
I'm gonna try and lure him!
395
00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:51,141
Bird, pussy willow?
396
00:13:51,143 --> 00:13:53,394
- Spencer, no!
- I don't know, a bird? [gasps]
397
00:13:53,396 --> 00:13:55,179
You didn't even look.
398
00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:56,931
Oh... I didn't... come on.
399
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:59,066
I didn't come all this
way to do stupid puzzle.
400
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:00,434
You think this puzzle's stupid?
401
00:14:00,436 --> 00:14:02,269
[people screaming]
402
00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:03,354
There's so much blood!
403
00:14:03,356 --> 00:14:04,939
So what would you like to do?
404
00:14:04,941 --> 00:14:06,240
- It's everywhere!- Oh, my God!
405
00:14:06,242 --> 00:14:08,192
Uh...
[groans]
406
00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:09,610
I want to hang out with my friends.
407
00:14:09,612 --> 00:14:11,278
[suspenseful music]
408
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:12,696
I just think it's bullshit
409
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:13,914
that you invited me all the way up here
410
00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:15,082
just to ignore me.
411
00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:16,200
I didn't invite you.
412
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:17,585
You invited yourself.
413
00:14:17,587 --> 00:14:19,620
Yes, because I've alienated Mike
414
00:14:19,622 --> 00:14:20,921
and all my friends
415
00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:22,122
so I could hang out with you more.
416
00:14:22,124 --> 00:14:23,624
I never asked you to do that.
417
00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:25,092
And, honestly, I think it's weird
418
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,794
that you stopped hanging
out with your friends.
419
00:14:26,796 --> 00:14:29,096
Huh, you want to know
what I think is weird?
420
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:30,965
That you guys still come to a cabin
421
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:33,133
that you know for a fact
422
00:14:33,135 --> 00:14:35,019
is haunted by an undead lumberjack!
423
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:36,637
[flames whooshing]
424
00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:38,055
The fire's making him stronger!
425
00:14:38,057 --> 00:14:39,974
Run!
Run!
426
00:14:39,976 --> 00:14:41,859
I'm... I'm sorry, Josh.
427
00:14:41,861 --> 00:14:43,310
I don't think I can do this anymore.
428
00:14:43,312 --> 00:14:44,311
No! [blade slashing]
429
00:14:44,313 --> 00:14:45,613
[screaming]
430
00:14:45,615 --> 00:14:48,649
[somber music]
431
00:14:48,651 --> 00:14:52,152
432
00:14:52,154 --> 00:14:54,121
[gunshot]
433
00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:02,329
Who would've guessed that
Blade would thrice return
434
00:15:02,331 --> 00:15:04,698
and thrice would fallright into my...
435
00:15:08,446 --> 00:15:09,612
What's up? It's Mike. [voice-mail beeps]
436
00:15:09,614 --> 00:15:11,947
Hey, hey, it's Josh.
437
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:13,249
So yeah.
438
00:15:13,251 --> 00:15:15,084
I'm in your hood, so let me know
439
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:16,085
if you want to hang out.
440
00:15:16,087 --> 00:15:17,336
Cool, bye.
441
00:15:17,338 --> 00:15:20,422
[light music]
442
00:15:20,424 --> 00:15:29,098
443
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,266
Josh.
444
00:15:30,268 --> 00:15:32,635
Crazy Wings!
445
00:15:32,637 --> 00:15:33,769
Where's Kelly at?
446
00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:34,887
I thought you guys were pretty much
447
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:35,888
hanging full-time.
448
00:15:35,890 --> 00:15:37,139
Uh,
yeah, that...
449
00:15:37,141 --> 00:15:39,275
it didn't really work out.
450
00:15:39,277 --> 00:15:42,228
Uh, I tried to hang out with her friends,
451
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,647
but it just made me realize
that I've much rather be
452
00:15:44,649 --> 00:15:45,981
hanging out with you.
453
00:15:45,983 --> 00:15:48,951
So let's finish the "Blade" trilogy.
454
00:15:50,738 --> 00:15:52,321
I finished it a while ago.
455
00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:54,323
Oh, cool, all right, we
can watch something else.
456
00:15:54,325 --> 00:15:55,991
Look, Josh.
457
00:15:55,993 --> 00:15:57,993
I'm sorry your relationship ended,
458
00:15:57,995 --> 00:15:59,995
but we can't just go
back to the way we were.
459
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:02,631
Could we just hang out?
460
00:16:06,754 --> 00:16:07,753
Is dinner ready?
461
00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:08,838
Not yet, sweetheart.
462
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,472
Why don't you go set the table?
463
00:16:10,474 --> 00:16:11,473
Who's that?
464
00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:12,925
Don't you recognize her?
465
00:16:12,927 --> 00:16:15,678
The dark eyes, the nervous
way she carries herself?
466
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,513
She's our daughter, Josh.
467
00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:20,566
[somber music]
468
00:16:20,568 --> 00:16:23,185
469
00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:25,020
How? How did this happen?
470
00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:26,355
How do you think it happened?
471
00:16:26,357 --> 00:16:28,274
We accidentally jizzed
into the same toilet,
472
00:16:28,276 --> 00:16:30,526
and then it got struck by lightning.
473
00:16:30,528 --> 00:16:32,361
And that resulted in a child?
474
00:16:32,363 --> 00:16:34,280
It is so easy for you to show up here
475
00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:36,949
asking questions now that
it's convenient for you.
476
00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:39,368
Well, I want you to know that we
are doing just fine without you.
477
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:40,369
Mike...
478
00:16:40,371 --> 00:16:41,453
Thank you for stopping by.
479
00:16:41,455 --> 00:16:43,172
I appreciate the wings.
480
00:16:43,174 --> 00:16:44,874
Dad, are... are you okay?
481
00:16:44,876 --> 00:16:46,208
Yeah, I'm fine, Sophie.
482
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:49,011
Just... I got something
in my eye. [crying]
483
00:16:53,684 --> 00:16:55,301
He told me you were dead.
484
00:16:55,303 --> 00:16:57,219
No, I'm not dead...
I'm very much alive.
485
00:16:57,221 --> 00:17:01,523
And I... I would like to
be Mike's friend again.
486
00:17:01,525 --> 00:17:02,892
I think that's bullshit.
487
00:17:02,894 --> 00:17:05,945
[somber music]
488
00:17:05,947 --> 00:17:07,062
489
00:17:07,064 --> 00:17:08,864
You... you told her I was dead?
490
00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:10,699
It's easier than telling her the truth:
491
00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:12,067
that you abandoned us.
492
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:13,152
Ugh.
493
00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:14,370
Okay, I messed up,
494
00:17:14,372 --> 00:17:16,205
but I can... I can fix this.
495
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:17,373
I can be better.
496
00:17:17,375 --> 00:17:18,374
I don't know. Josh.
497
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:19,658
I just... I don't know.
498
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,710
How about I take Sophie
499
00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:23,629
for a nice day tomorrow?
500
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,500
If you're gonna do this,
you better do it right,
501
00:17:28,502 --> 00:17:29,585
'cause I will be damned
502
00:17:29,587 --> 00:17:30,920
if I let you disappoint us again.
503
00:17:30,922 --> 00:17:32,888
You got it.
504
00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:37,643
Do you like your sandwich?
505
00:17:39,347 --> 00:17:40,596
I think it sucks.
506
00:17:40,598 --> 00:17:42,264
Right.
507
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:45,267
Would you maybe want to eat
something else, like dessert?
508
00:17:45,269 --> 00:17:47,403
We can get dessert, like...
509
00:17:47,405 --> 00:17:49,188
let's get one hot fudge sundae
510
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:50,856
with extra cherries, please.
511
00:17:50,858 --> 00:17:52,574
That's for you.
512
00:17:52,576 --> 00:17:55,077
Maraschino cherries
aren't even legally food.
513
00:17:55,079 --> 00:17:56,996
Yeah.
514
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:02,368
So you like to draw.
515
00:18:04,538 --> 00:18:06,622
I guess.
516
00:18:06,624 --> 00:18:09,458
Would it be cool if I
took a little peak or...
517
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:12,261
Whatever. It's stupid anyway.
518
00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:17,433
You did that?
519
00:18:19,387 --> 00:18:20,886
These are amazing.
520
00:18:20,888 --> 00:18:21,804
I...
521
00:18:24,225 --> 00:18:25,224
You...
522
00:18:25,226 --> 00:18:26,275
wow.
523
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:28,310
Wow!
524
00:18:28,312 --> 00:18:29,812
I think the dragon's my favorite.
525
00:18:29,814 --> 00:18:32,948
I just started drawing dragons.
526
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:35,150
Oh, yeah, so why don't you tell me,
527
00:18:35,152 --> 00:18:36,235
who's... who's this?
528
00:18:36,237 --> 00:18:37,619
Her name's Malizar.
529
00:18:37,621 --> 00:18:39,989
She shoots fire out of her snout.
530
00:18:39,991 --> 00:18:42,324
Hmm.
531
00:18:42,326 --> 00:18:45,244
I bet sometimes you
feel like shooting fire.
532
00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:50,416
[light music]
533
00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:54,303
534
00:18:54,305 --> 00:18:56,305
Do you want to see some Elven Warriors?
535
00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,257
I would love to.
536
00:18:58,259 --> 00:18:59,174
Incredible.
537
00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,728
Even more incredible.
538
00:19:04,348 --> 00:19:06,181
[door opens]
539
00:19:06,183 --> 00:19:08,517
Hey, there they are!
540
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:10,436
How was your day?
541
00:19:10,438 --> 00:19:12,187
It wasn't lame.
542
00:19:12,189 --> 00:19:13,489
Whoa!
543
00:19:13,491 --> 00:19:15,274
Big compliment from the Soph.
544
00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:16,658
[chuckles]
545
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:20,195
Um, well, I should probably get going.
546
00:19:20,197 --> 00:19:22,114
Are you staying for dinner?
547
00:19:24,535 --> 00:19:26,702
I... well, it's up to Mike.
548
00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:28,620
Why don't you go wash up, sweetheart?
549
00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:33,175
Mike, I know I missed a lot:
550
00:19:33,177 --> 00:19:34,960
the ending of the "Blade" trilogy,
551
00:19:34,962 --> 00:19:37,046
the birth of our daughter.
552
00:19:37,048 --> 00:19:39,715
I just want to make up for lost time, man.
553
00:19:39,717 --> 00:19:41,467
I...
554
00:19:41,469 --> 00:19:44,053
will you give me one more shot?
555
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:45,971
Will you be my best friend again?
556
00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,308
Sophie!
557
00:19:49,310 --> 00:19:50,726
Yeah?
558
00:19:50,728 --> 00:19:52,895
Set another place at the table.
559
00:19:52,897 --> 00:19:54,863
I was just about to order wings.
560
00:19:59,291 --> 00:20:01,124
You got everything, right, sweetie?
561
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:02,842
Your laptop, your pencils, your erasers.
562
00:20:02,844 --> 00:20:03,960
Oh, and those boots you love.
563
00:20:03,962 --> 00:20:05,045
Did you remember the boots?
564
00:20:05,047 --> 00:20:06,263
Yes, I have everything.
565
00:20:06,265 --> 00:20:07,931
[chuckles]
566
00:20:07,933 --> 00:20:09,799
I'm really glad you
guys are friends again.
567
00:20:09,801 --> 00:20:11,801
It's pretty cool.
568
00:20:11,803 --> 00:20:13,470
College already.
569
00:20:13,472 --> 00:20:14,771
I can't believe it.
570
00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:15,873
I know.
571
00:20:15,993 --> 00:20:19,037
Seems like only yesterday she
was crawling out of that toilet.
572
00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:19,694
Yeah.
573
00:20:19,814 --> 00:20:22,430
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00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:27,030
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