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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,254 --> 00:00:01,870 (gunfire blasting on video game) 2 00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:05,423 (knocking on door) 3 00:00:09,262 --> 00:00:11,597 - Hi! Hey, hey, hey... - Hey! 4 00:00:11,598 --> 00:00:13,232 What are you guys doing here? 5 00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:14,767 - We're taking you out, bro. - That's right. 6 00:00:14,768 --> 00:00:15,768 - Mm-mm. - You're gonna come out 7 00:00:15,769 --> 00:00:17,653 dancing... with us. 8 00:00:17,654 --> 00:00:19,572 BOTH (in rhythm): Come dancing, with us. 9 00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:20,856 Hey, I'm not going dancing with you. 10 00:00:20,857 --> 00:00:22,441 I'd-I'd-I'd feel like a third wheel. 11 00:00:22,442 --> 00:00:23,776 What are you talking about? 12 00:00:23,777 --> 00:00:25,110 Well, it's a couples thing. 13 00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:26,495 It'd be super-awkward and weird. 14 00:00:26,496 --> 00:00:28,931 No. What? that's insane. You're being insane. 15 00:00:28,932 --> 00:00:30,349 Yeah. Okay... 16 00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:31,683 You're not gonna spend 17 00:00:31,684 --> 00:00:33,068 another Saturday playing video games. 18 00:00:33,069 --> 00:00:35,237 - Hmm? - Yeah, okay, I'll... 19 00:00:35,238 --> 00:00:37,856 (sighs) I'll come for a little bit. 20 00:00:37,857 --> 00:00:39,156 - Yes! - Yeah! All right, let's go. 21 00:00:39,158 --> 00:00:40,075 - Ding, ding, ding! - All right, let's go. 22 00:00:40,076 --> 00:00:42,527 Uh, guys, when you said dancing, 23 00:00:42,528 --> 00:00:44,413 I really thought you meant, like, at a club 24 00:00:44,414 --> 00:00:46,415 - or a bar. - No. We meant competitive ice dancing. 25 00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:47,499 What? 26 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,201 LEO: Buckle up. 27 00:00:49,202 --> 00:00:50,669 BRUCE DOUGLAS: Welcome back 28 00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:53,705 to the Couples Invitational. 29 00:00:53,706 --> 00:00:56,508 Now on the ice, the lovely Liz and Leo. 30 00:00:56,509 --> 00:00:58,210 31 00:00:58,211 --> 00:01:00,512 And... Josh. 32 00:01:00,513 --> 00:01:02,464 33 00:01:02,465 --> 00:01:05,717 Is it just me, or does Josh seem like a third wheel? 34 00:01:05,718 --> 00:01:07,603 OKSANA BAIUL: Yes, this is couples thing. 35 00:01:07,604 --> 00:01:10,105 Josh being with them is super-awkward and weird. 36 00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:11,440 DOUGLAS: Now, why is he pointing and waving? 37 00:01:11,441 --> 00:01:13,525 What's that about? 38 00:01:13,526 --> 00:01:16,028 BAIUL: He's trying to make it seem like he sees friends. 39 00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,113 Like he is popular guy? 40 00:01:18,114 --> 00:01:20,732 DOUGLAS: That's not gonna fool the judges. 41 00:01:20,733 --> 00:01:22,618 42 00:01:22,619 --> 00:01:25,570 BAIUL: Oh, Liz and Leo are a match made in heaven. 43 00:01:25,571 --> 00:01:27,823 DOUGLAS: Two bodies moving perfectly as one. 44 00:01:27,824 --> 00:01:30,242 Let's check back in with Josh. 45 00:01:30,243 --> 00:01:31,660 Oh, dear. 46 00:01:31,661 --> 00:01:33,045 BAIUL: Now he's doing that thing 47 00:01:33,046 --> 00:01:35,113 where you pretend to get a text. 48 00:01:35,114 --> 00:01:36,748 DOUGLAS: Yes, from this angle, you can see 49 00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:38,116 that his phone is clearly turned off. 50 00:01:38,117 --> 00:01:39,851 He's texting on a blank screen. 51 00:01:39,852 --> 00:01:41,286 (crowd booing) And the crowd knows it. 52 00:01:41,287 --> 00:01:42,420 And they're not happy, quite frankly. 53 00:01:44,474 --> 00:01:45,306 Ooh! 54 00:01:47,593 --> 00:01:50,429 BAIUL: Hmm, he should've stayed home and masturbated himself. 55 00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:51,479 DOUGLAS: I would've. 56 00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,897 Man Seeking Woman - 01x07 Stain 57 00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:21,374 sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 58 00:02:23,796 --> 00:02:24,629 MAN: Hey, Josh. 59 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:25,513 Hey. 60 00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:28,632 - Water. - Oh. 61 00:02:30,553 --> 00:02:32,386 Okay. 62 00:02:35,558 --> 00:02:37,808 Oh, (bleep), (bleep). 63 00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:43,615 You got... you got water now. 64 00:02:43,616 --> 00:02:45,983 Ev-Everybody's got water. 65 00:02:48,937 --> 00:02:51,054 Okay, have a good one. 66 00:02:51,056 --> 00:02:52,690 Oh, you, too. Do you know when you might need me again? 67 00:02:52,691 --> 00:02:53,641 We'll let you know, Jeff. 68 00:02:53,642 --> 00:02:54,642 Oh, okay. 69 00:02:54,643 --> 00:02:55,893 Jeff? 70 00:02:59,782 --> 00:03:02,367 Bill, bill, junk mail, 71 00:03:02,368 --> 00:03:04,235 boring-ass letters. 72 00:03:04,236 --> 00:03:05,570 Dude, your mail sucks. 73 00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:07,455 Oh, I just got this. 74 00:03:07,456 --> 00:03:08,873 Ben and Becky's wedding invitation. 75 00:03:08,874 --> 00:03:10,825 - You're going, right? - Yeah, I don't know. 76 00:03:10,826 --> 00:03:13,495 Weddings... weddings kind of stress me out. 77 00:03:13,496 --> 00:03:14,796 What? Why? 78 00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:16,247 Because all our friends are, like, coupled up, 79 00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:17,415 and they have terrific jobs, 80 00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:18,967 and I'm single, 81 00:03:18,968 --> 00:03:21,002 and... oh, God, the sun. 82 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:23,171 Uh, and I'm just a temp. 83 00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:24,422 Come on, dude, you got to go. 84 00:03:24,423 --> 00:03:25,339 It's Ben and Becky. 85 00:03:27,643 --> 00:03:30,478 Okay, what if Maggie's there? 86 00:03:30,479 --> 00:03:33,314 I'm serious, I don't think I could... 87 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:37,101 I heard she's dating some... new banker guy. 88 00:03:37,102 --> 00:03:39,771 Don't worry, they're not gonna be there, okay? 89 00:03:39,772 --> 00:03:41,406 Come on. 90 00:03:41,407 --> 00:03:42,440 Just say you're in. I don't... 91 00:03:42,441 --> 00:03:43,741 Say you're in. 92 00:03:43,742 --> 00:03:45,443 - I don't know. - Who's in? Who's in? 93 00:03:45,444 --> 00:03:47,245 - There's little Josh's smile. - Okay, all right. 94 00:03:47,246 --> 00:03:48,663 - There's that little smile. - Okay, I'm in, I'm in. 95 00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:49,948 There you go. 96 00:03:49,949 --> 00:03:51,115 When is this thing? 97 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:52,500 July 25, in hell. 98 00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,169 What? 99 00:03:54,170 --> 00:03:55,537 July 25, it's a Saturday. 100 00:03:55,538 --> 00:03:57,622 Yeah, no, the other thing. 101 00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:58,673 Oh, the wedding's in hell. 102 00:03:58,674 --> 00:04:00,792 See? 103 00:04:00,793 --> 00:04:02,460 - It's a destination wedding. - Yep, come on. 104 00:04:02,461 --> 00:04:03,461 Let's go shopping. 105 00:04:03,462 --> 00:04:06,047 Oh, my God. 106 00:04:06,048 --> 00:04:09,634 Can't believe I wasted all this money on a lightweight suit. 107 00:04:09,635 --> 00:04:11,135 Dude, we're going to hell in July. 108 00:04:11,136 --> 00:04:13,054 You're gonna want something that breathes. 109 00:04:13,055 --> 00:04:15,639 - Okay, one more stop. - What? Oh, come on. 110 00:04:17,526 --> 00:04:18,860 (bell dings) 111 00:04:18,861 --> 00:04:21,813 Do we really have to buy swords? 112 00:04:21,814 --> 00:04:23,898 Their wedding Web site said holy weaponry suggested. 113 00:04:23,899 --> 00:04:26,401 I read the Web site, I'm just saying I'm only gonna 114 00:04:26,402 --> 00:04:29,320 use it once. It's just gonna take up space in my closet. 115 00:04:29,321 --> 00:04:31,489 - Going to hell? - Oh, my God. You know it. 116 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:32,991 Yeah, we're, uh, we're real 117 00:04:32,992 --> 00:04:35,126 excited about it. Do you have anything that is 118 00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,045 under $40? 119 00:04:37,046 --> 00:04:40,465 This one is $90. And it's 120 00:04:40,466 --> 00:04:42,800 - our most basic model. - Why's it so 121 00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:43,918 - cheap? - Well, the, uh, 122 00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:45,336 blade is unengraved, the 123 00:04:45,337 --> 00:04:46,588 handle is synthetic 124 00:04:46,589 --> 00:04:48,006 and it's cursed. 125 00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,641 - It's cursed? - Yes, everyone 126 00:04:49,642 --> 00:04:51,426 who's bought it has been murdered. 127 00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:53,928 - You said $90? No sword for me. - That's right. 128 00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:55,763 For $90... you ain't gonna do much better than that, bro. 129 00:04:55,764 --> 00:04:57,765 Okay, well, I'm not made of $90. 130 00:04:57,766 --> 00:04:58,766 - Thank you. - What about you, 131 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,435 - my friend? - Uh, ba, ba, ba, 132 00:05:00,436 --> 00:05:03,354 ba, ba... Let's go pewter this time. 133 00:05:03,355 --> 00:05:06,574 Pewter. The man's metal. Good choice. 134 00:05:06,575 --> 00:05:09,277 Might I suggest a goatskin 135 00:05:09,278 --> 00:05:11,863 - sheathe? - Andros, you old bastard, 136 00:05:11,864 --> 00:05:13,915 you know me better than I know myself. 137 00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:15,033 - You got it. - Mm. 138 00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:16,417 She's a beauty. 139 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,586 - Definitely put this on my tab. - Will do. 140 00:05:18,587 --> 00:05:20,538 - Ka! - Whoa, Christ... Christ Almighty. 141 00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:22,540 Hey, how happy do you think Becky is right now? 142 00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:24,008 - I-I don't know... - Over the moon, right? 143 00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:25,927 - Y... Uh... - Is that what you were gonna say? 144 00:05:25,928 --> 00:05:27,428 - N... Yeah. - That's what I'm thinking. 145 00:05:27,429 --> 00:05:28,963 Okay. Hey, how you doing? 146 00:05:28,964 --> 00:05:30,798 - Hey, you know how Ben proposed? - No. 147 00:05:30,799 --> 00:05:32,383 - Put it in a fortune cookie. - Oh. 148 00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:33,935 - And then he lost it. - Oh. 149 00:05:33,936 --> 00:05:35,726 - And then she found it. - Okay. 150 00:05:35,728 --> 00:05:38,973 - They're telling me the story... I lost it. (laughs) - Oh, yeah. 151 00:05:38,974 --> 00:05:41,142 - You see what I'm saying? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 152 00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:44,395 Oh, this wedding's gonna be the best. Dancing, open bar. 153 00:05:44,396 --> 00:05:46,531 Open bar, there's always a tip jar. 154 00:05:46,532 --> 00:05:48,366 So you end up paying anyway. 155 00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,869 Oh, wouldn't it be amazing if the ring was white gold? 156 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,539 I, uh... No, not really. 157 00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:56,874 Ah. Becky's getting married in her grandma's wedding dress. 158 00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:58,576 Isn't that adorable? 159 00:05:58,577 --> 00:06:01,245 No, she's probably just trying to save money. 160 00:06:01,246 --> 00:06:02,747 Oh, man, I love it when they cut the cake 161 00:06:02,748 --> 00:06:04,799 and they wipe it all over each other's faces. 162 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,051 You mean-You mean, like every single wedding? 163 00:06:07,052 --> 00:06:08,753 I hope they write their own vows. You know, 164 00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:10,755 - to personalize 'em? - Yeah, you're right. 165 00:06:10,756 --> 00:06:13,224 'Cause getting married is so unique. 166 00:06:13,225 --> 00:06:16,561 Here comes the bride, do, do, do-do. 167 00:06:16,562 --> 00:06:19,480 Oh, for (bleep) sake. I smell wedding. 168 00:06:19,481 --> 00:06:21,432 Ugh. 169 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,769 (rattling) Welcome, gentlemen. 170 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,604 Are you here for the wedding? 171 00:06:26,605 --> 00:06:29,857 - Yes. - The business center is on the second floor. 172 00:06:29,858 --> 00:06:34,746 And here is a little gift, courtesy of Ben and Becky. 173 00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:37,532 Oh, lovely. Jordan Almonds. 174 00:06:37,533 --> 00:06:39,666 Disgusting. You can have mine. 175 00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:42,620 You know what, man? 176 00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:44,288 I have been listening to you complain 177 00:06:44,289 --> 00:06:46,062 for this entire trip. 178 00:06:46,091 --> 00:06:48,092 I didn't say anything in the desert, or 179 00:06:48,093 --> 00:06:50,261 the labyrinth, or the whirling hall of knives 180 00:06:50,262 --> 00:06:53,064 or the whirling hall of screams, 181 00:06:53,065 --> 00:06:54,766 but enough is enough, man. 182 00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:57,101 I came here to celebrate our good friends. 183 00:06:57,102 --> 00:06:59,521 - If you're gonna be a crybaby, you shouldn't have come. - No, no, you're right. 184 00:06:59,522 --> 00:07:01,439 Fair-Fair enough. 185 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,241 I didn't realize I was being so negative. 186 00:07:03,242 --> 00:07:04,742 And... (sighs) No, you're right, 187 00:07:04,743 --> 00:07:07,695 This is fun, good. Exotic, uh, location. 188 00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:09,280 - Yes. - And, uh, new-new 189 00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:11,332 - people. And... - That's what I'm talking about. 190 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,500 It's gonna be a big party. 191 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:13,501 - There you go. - And it's gonna be fine. 192 00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:15,003 MAGGIE: Hey, guys. 193 00:07:15,004 --> 00:07:16,621 - Oh, shit. - Maggie. 194 00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:19,290 - Hey. - (laughing) Wh-What... 195 00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,676 What are you doing here? Thought you had some work thing. 196 00:07:21,677 --> 00:07:24,179 Yeah, but I blew it off. I mean, come on, 197 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:26,347 - it's Ben and Becky, right? - Yes. 198 00:07:26,348 --> 00:07:28,967 (laughing) You look, uh, you look nice. 199 00:07:28,968 --> 00:07:31,135 - Hey. - Oh... Oh, hey, Graham, this 200 00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:32,637 is Mike and Josh. 201 00:07:32,638 --> 00:07:34,272 - Hey. - Hey, Josh. 202 00:07:34,273 --> 00:07:35,690 - I've heard so much about you. - Only good, 203 00:07:35,691 --> 00:07:37,307 uh, things, I hope? 204 00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:43,531 - Okay. - This is gonna be 205 00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:46,985 - so fun. I love destination weddings. - Yeah. Oh, thanks. 206 00:07:46,986 --> 00:07:49,487 - Oh, guilty. (laughs) - Huh? 207 00:07:49,488 --> 00:07:52,323 - Guess what. Jordan Almonds. - What? 208 00:07:52,324 --> 00:07:54,659 We were just talking about how everyone loves these. 209 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:55,994 - The best. - Once you pop, you can't stop. 210 00:07:55,995 --> 00:07:59,664 - (laughs) - Every... That's Pringles. See you? 211 00:07:59,665 --> 00:08:01,466 Yeah, so see you later? 212 00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:02,750 - Bye. - On the dance floor? 213 00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:03,918 - Yeah. Take care. - Nice to meet you. 214 00:08:03,919 --> 00:08:05,136 - Okay, bye. - Yup. 215 00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:07,255 - He's a hunk. - (chuckles) 216 00:08:13,872 --> 00:08:16,240 (organ gently playing) MIKE: When I 217 00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:19,376 saw Becky's father walk her down the aisle, 218 00:08:19,377 --> 00:08:23,297 I lost it. I just... Complete waterworks. 219 00:08:23,298 --> 00:08:25,999 (laughing): It was a little embarrassing. 220 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,585 Oh, right? 221 00:08:28,586 --> 00:08:30,671 What's up, buddy? 222 00:08:30,672 --> 00:08:32,139 Josh? What's... 223 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:35,142 (sighs) Dude... You know, I just... I... We 224 00:08:35,143 --> 00:08:37,811 We slept together five weeks ago. 225 00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:39,430 And now-And now she's with this guy? 226 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,482 It doesn't matter. Just let it go, man. 227 00:08:41,483 --> 00:08:43,266 Just act like they're not even here. 228 00:08:46,488 --> 00:08:48,939 Yup, you're right, you're right. 229 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,991 It's all... It's all... 230 00:08:50,992 --> 00:08:52,910 It's all in your head. It's all in my head. Okay. 231 00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:54,445 We're at a wedding, okay, fine. 232 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,953 What-What table are we at? 233 00:08:55,997 --> 00:08:57,831 Uh, look like 19. 234 00:08:57,832 --> 00:09:00,084 19. Activate table 19. 235 00:09:00,085 --> 00:09:01,252 19? 236 00:09:01,253 --> 00:09:02,670 - Mm-hmm, yeah. - Yeah. 237 00:09:02,671 --> 00:09:05,339 - No. No-No, we're-we're 19. - Yeah. 238 00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,840 - Yeah. - Table buddies. 239 00:09:06,841 --> 00:09:08,642 - Dude. (laughs) - Hey! Yeah! 240 00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:10,094 - Okay. - (laughing) 241 00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:12,846 - Follow us. Let's go. - Shit. 242 00:09:12,847 --> 00:09:16,100 - MIKE: Thank heaven we're in hell. - MAGGIE: We're in hell, yeah. 243 00:09:16,101 --> 00:09:18,269 - I just came up with that. - That's good. 244 00:09:18,270 --> 00:09:19,820 - (all laughing) - MAGGIE: Oh, my God. 245 00:09:19,821 --> 00:09:23,190 I, uh, I throw events for this start-up, zipbop.com. 246 00:09:23,191 --> 00:09:25,192 - Okay. - Just got two mil in seed funding. 247 00:09:25,193 --> 00:09:27,611 - Is that r... That's incredible. That's amazing. - Yeah. 248 00:09:27,612 --> 00:09:29,780 - Thank you. - Well, listen, if you ever want to go public... 249 00:09:29,781 --> 00:09:30,915 - Really? - Graham, this is not a 250 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:31,949 a business trip. Stop. 251 00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:32,950 - I know, I know. - Uh-oh, 252 00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,585 business police. 253 00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:36,287 - Tell me... Tell me about it. - Aah! 254 00:09:36,288 --> 00:09:39,757 - Always. - Oh. (cackles) 255 00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:41,008 (mouths) 256 00:09:41,009 --> 00:09:43,794 Josh, what-what is it that you do? 257 00:09:43,795 --> 00:09:45,963 I... I-I... 258 00:09:45,964 --> 00:09:48,215 - I-I'm just a temp. - Oh, yeah? 259 00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:50,134 - Right on. Right on. - Yeah, right. 260 00:09:50,135 --> 00:09:52,219 I feel like we're-we're hiring temps all the time. 261 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,471 - Oh, cool, congratulations. - Are you 262 00:09:54,472 --> 00:09:56,140 interested in making a move? 263 00:09:56,141 --> 00:09:57,641 Uh, that's very nice of you, 264 00:09:57,642 --> 00:10:01,111 but I'm content where I am. Yeah. 265 00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:03,697 I'm curious. If I could ask... 266 00:10:03,698 --> 00:10:04,982 how-how much are they paying you? 267 00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:06,817 Yeah, it's... 268 00:10:06,818 --> 00:10:08,485 - uh, standard temp rate. - GRAHAM: Right. 269 00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:09,903 Which is like... like, what? 270 00:10:09,904 --> 00:10:11,372 Like, ballpark. 271 00:10:11,373 --> 00:10:15,542 Um... ah, it's $13.82 an hour. 272 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:18,162 I... sorry, I can't, I can't hear you. 273 00:10:18,163 --> 00:10:20,164 - $13.82 an hour. - Oh. 274 00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:22,800 Well, we-we can definitely top that. 275 00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,668 - (laughing): - Oh... If you want. 276 00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:27,004 I mean, just send me your info and I'll just bring you in. 277 00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,839 - Right? - Oh, my God... 278 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,307 - Check that, dude. - Hey. 279 00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:31,976 Pretty happy you came now, huh? 280 00:10:31,977 --> 00:10:34,511 Ooh, they're doing it right there. 281 00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:36,013 - Ah, this is the best... - There you go. 282 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:37,314 (growling) 283 00:10:37,315 --> 00:10:39,265 (guests screaming) 284 00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,269 (growls) 285 00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:43,487 Come on, you stupid thing! 286 00:10:43,488 --> 00:10:44,655 (growls) 287 00:10:44,656 --> 00:10:45,689 Stupid goatskin thing. 288 00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,024 (screaming) 289 00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:48,659 (growling) 290 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,527 - Ah! Ah! - MAGGIE: Josh! 291 00:10:50,528 --> 00:10:51,829 Use your sword! 292 00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,364 - I didn't bring one! - Why not? 293 00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:54,948 Because the Web site said it was a suggestion! 294 00:10:54,949 --> 00:10:57,918 - Oh, my God. - I'm going to eat your soul! 295 00:10:57,919 --> 00:10:59,952 (snarls, yowls) 296 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,374 - You okay, man? - Yeah, I'm... I'm good. 297 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,541 - Just breathe, man. - Yeah, I-I know. 298 00:11:04,542 --> 00:11:05,709 Deep breaths, you got this. 299 00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:06,543 I'm good, I'm fine... 300 00:11:06,544 --> 00:11:07,844 Yah! 301 00:11:10,932 --> 00:11:14,051 (screaming) 302 00:11:14,052 --> 00:11:17,521 (laughing) 303 00:11:17,522 --> 00:11:19,806 - (guests cheering) - MIKE: Yeah, man! 304 00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:26,447 - Uh, keeper! - Uh, I know! 305 00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:28,649 (Maggie laughs) (whoops) 306 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:31,568 307 00:11:31,569 --> 00:11:32,736 - Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey... - Oh! 308 00:11:32,737 --> 00:11:34,238 I love this song! 309 00:11:34,239 --> 00:11:35,706 - (whoops) - Milady. 310 00:11:35,707 --> 00:11:37,374 - Let's do it! - What it is now 311 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,576 What you doing Hey 312 00:11:39,577 --> 00:11:41,245 Where you going Hey 313 00:11:41,246 --> 00:11:42,913 What you want Hey 314 00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:45,582 - Little sister - MIKE: Joshie! 315 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,418 - Who's your brother - Come on over. Dance, man! 316 00:11:47,419 --> 00:11:49,169 - Dance with us! - Come on over my friend 317 00:11:49,170 --> 00:11:51,221 Come on over 318 00:11:51,222 --> 00:11:52,423 Come on over 319 00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:54,508 And let's get wild now 320 00:11:54,509 --> 00:11:57,144 Let's get wild now 321 00:11:57,145 --> 00:11:58,479 It's my party 322 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,597 It's my party 323 00:12:00,598 --> 00:12:02,349 So you and that girl used to date, huh? 324 00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:03,567 Yes. 325 00:12:03,568 --> 00:12:04,651 I noticed, 326 00:12:04,652 --> 00:12:05,736 'cause there was some weirdness. 327 00:12:05,737 --> 00:12:07,571 - I... I know. - Yeah. 328 00:12:07,572 --> 00:12:09,356 And now she's dating that handsome guy. 329 00:12:09,357 --> 00:12:10,941 - Yeah, I'm aware. - Yeah. 330 00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:14,161 How brutal was it when he offered you a job? 331 00:12:14,162 --> 00:12:15,362 - Yep. - And then you told him 332 00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:16,447 - how much you make. - Ooh. 333 00:12:16,448 --> 00:12:17,781 Does anybody care 334 00:12:17,782 --> 00:12:19,249 - that he's not dead yet? - Oh, and then 335 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,368 he was like, "Oh, we can definitely beat that." 336 00:12:21,369 --> 00:12:24,037 And the way that he said "definitely..." 337 00:12:24,038 --> 00:12:26,373 I mean, yikes. Humiliating, right? 338 00:12:26,374 --> 00:12:27,841 I am... well, well aware. 339 00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,093 You can tell she's into him, man. 340 00:12:29,094 --> 00:12:30,594 They're gonna go home 341 00:12:30,595 --> 00:12:32,379 and she is gonna rip his clothes off 342 00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:35,516 - and he is gonna plow her... - Oh, come on. 343 00:12:35,517 --> 00:12:38,302 From dusk till dusk, all right? 344 00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:39,470 Okay. Thank you. 345 00:12:39,471 --> 00:12:41,939 Go get me a cup of coffee, temp! 346 00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:44,358 (demon cackling) 347 00:12:44,359 --> 00:12:45,776 Whoa, baby 348 00:12:45,777 --> 00:12:48,228 (guests cheer, applaud) 349 00:12:48,229 --> 00:12:50,147 DJ: All right. Everybody having a good time? 350 00:12:50,148 --> 00:12:53,984 Let's give it up for Ben and Becky. 351 00:12:53,985 --> 00:12:56,653 352 00:12:56,654 --> 00:12:58,489 Hey, you... uh, do you... you look like you want to dance. 353 00:12:58,490 --> 00:13:00,040 Do you want to dance? 354 00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:01,294 - Um... - Do you want to dance? Yep? Yep? 355 00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:03,294 - Sure, okay. - Yes? Yes? Sure, great, yep. 356 00:13:03,295 --> 00:13:05,679 357 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,264 Here, here, get... 358 00:13:07,265 --> 00:13:08,882 get behind me, like, like, yeah, like, 359 00:13:08,883 --> 00:13:10,267 oh, yeah, yeah. 360 00:13:10,268 --> 00:13:11,685 Oh, this is fun. 361 00:13:11,686 --> 00:13:12,853 I'm gonna get back to my friends. 362 00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,138 - No, please, just wait. - Bye. 363 00:13:14,139 --> 00:13:16,306 No, please! 364 00:13:17,892 --> 00:13:19,977 (cackling) 365 00:13:19,978 --> 00:13:22,228 (cackling continues) 366 00:13:26,999 --> 00:13:30,584 It was hands down the best opera I've ever seen in my whole life. 367 00:13:30,586 --> 00:13:33,221 - Yeah, I heard it's crazy hard to get tickets. - Oh, yeah. 368 00:13:33,222 --> 00:13:34,889 Well, the director's actually a friend of mine, so 369 00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,591 - he kind of hooked us up. - Oh, honey, wait. 370 00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:38,143 - Hmm? What? - You have an eyelash. Here, wait. 371 00:13:38,144 --> 00:13:39,644 - Oh. - Make a wish. 372 00:13:39,645 --> 00:13:42,263 Well, I would, but my wish already came true. 373 00:13:42,264 --> 00:13:46,234 Stop. 374 00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:48,486 - (Maggie laughs) - Did you wish to be a huge piece of shit? 375 00:13:48,487 --> 00:13:50,605 MIKE: Hey, hey, hey, hey. 376 00:13:50,606 --> 00:13:52,440 - Relax. - BEN: Hi! 377 00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:55,443 - Hi! - Hey...! Hey...! 378 00:13:55,444 --> 00:13:57,362 - (chuckles nervously) - Ben and Becky. 379 00:13:57,363 --> 00:14:00,248 Becky, your dress is a work of art. 380 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:02,667 Is-is that French lace? 381 00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,419 - It is. - I knew it. Oh... 382 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:06,671 It's gorgeous. 383 00:14:06,672 --> 00:14:08,890 - Sorry if it got a little hot inside that volcano. - MAGGIE: Oh... 384 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,558 No, the temperature was perfect. 385 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,177 Is, uh, is the flower girl going to be all right? 386 00:14:13,178 --> 00:14:14,729 - Yeah, we'll find her. - MAGGIE: Oh, good. 387 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,147 Graham, we're so happy to finally meet you. 388 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:17,598 We are, too. 389 00:14:17,599 --> 00:14:19,100 Maggie's told us so much about you. 390 00:14:19,101 --> 00:14:20,902 Oh, has she? 391 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:22,520 BECKY: How long have you two been together, now? 392 00:14:22,521 --> 00:14:24,155 - Six weeks. - Six weeks. 393 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:26,574 - Six weeks?! - Yeah. 394 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:27,825 Six weeks! 395 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:31,529 Very, very interesting. 396 00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:33,031 MIKE: Buddy, don't do this. 397 00:14:33,032 --> 00:14:34,332 - Hey... - Don't you dare do this. 398 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:37,085 The calendar is a remarkable instrument. 399 00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,703 - Mm-hmm. - When you think about it. 400 00:14:38,704 --> 00:14:40,621 You know, it often reveals great truths. 401 00:14:40,622 --> 00:14:41,756 Oh, my God. 402 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:43,041 Riddle me this, Graham. 403 00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:45,960 Graham-Graham, Golden Graham, 404 00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:48,796 how-how can a girlfriend be a girlfriend 405 00:14:48,797 --> 00:14:51,265 if, five weeks ago, 406 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,184 MIKE: Oh, my God. she was having sex 407 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:55,053 with me? 408 00:14:55,054 --> 00:14:56,637 MAGGIE: Josh, 409 00:14:56,638 --> 00:14:58,639 that was over two months ago. 410 00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,974 - No, it wasn't. - Yeah, it was. 411 00:14:59,975 --> 00:15:02,694 - Screw you. - No... no, it wasn't. 412 00:15:02,695 --> 00:15:04,979 Because I distinctly remembered 413 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:07,031 that it was May 3, 414 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,984 and today is July... 415 00:15:09,985 --> 00:15:12,453 twenty... 416 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,705 MAGGIE: Yeah. 417 00:15:13,706 --> 00:15:14,655 Shit. 418 00:15:14,656 --> 00:15:15,539 Yeah. Shit. 419 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,711 You are a true asshole. 420 00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:22,797 I'm-I'm not... I'm not good. 421 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,832 Uh, uh, uh, I think you've had enough, okay? I think-I think I know 422 00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:25,883 - when I've had enough. - N-No, no. 423 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,668 Why don't you mind your own business? 424 00:15:27,669 --> 00:15:29,170 - You're acting like a jackass. - I... 425 00:15:29,171 --> 00:15:30,388 - Give me the glass now. - Mind your beeswax. 426 00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,223 - Goddamn it! - (Becky screams) 427 00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,392 (guests gasping) 428 00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,010 (sobbing) 429 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,407 (chuckles) 430 00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:57,364 Yep. Yep. 431 00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:18,729 Rough night, huh? 432 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:19,600 Oh. 433 00:16:19,755 --> 00:16:21,499 Yeah. Yeah. 434 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,534 Yeah, I was, uh... 435 00:16:23,535 --> 00:16:26,787 at this wedding, and it really didn't go well. 436 00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:28,491 Weddings can be hard. 437 00:16:28,524 --> 00:16:30,025 You know, it's not just the wedding. 438 00:16:30,026 --> 00:16:32,744 It's everything... my whole entire life. It... 439 00:16:32,745 --> 00:16:35,894 (groans in frustration) It feels like every single day is just a living nightmare. 440 00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,113 (pained scream) 441 00:16:37,115 --> 00:16:38,399 Sorry about that. 442 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,201 This guy's shoving fire ants up my butt. 443 00:16:40,202 --> 00:16:41,485 (gravelly voice): There you go, ants. 444 00:16:41,486 --> 00:16:43,237 - Get up her butt. - I'm sorry. 445 00:16:43,238 --> 00:16:45,573 You were saying something about your life being bad? 446 00:16:45,574 --> 00:16:46,907 Oh, it's just, I don't know what happened. 447 00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:48,325 (small demon muttering) I turned around and every 448 00:16:48,326 --> 00:16:50,077 single person I knew was getting married 449 00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:52,213 and starting careers, actual careers, 450 00:16:52,214 --> 00:16:53,831 (pained grunting) and I'm just a temp. 451 00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:56,384 And I'm single and I just can't reconcile that 452 00:16:56,385 --> 00:16:58,552 - with everything I did right. - SMALL DEMON: Go up that butt. 453 00:16:58,553 --> 00:17:00,254 I went to college, I got good grades, 454 00:17:00,255 --> 00:17:02,923 I-I played by the rules, and now, what, 455 00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:06,143 I'm 27 and my life is just a disaster. 456 00:17:06,144 --> 00:17:09,847 Grr... ah... 457 00:17:09,848 --> 00:17:11,432 - SMALL DEMON: Right up in the butt. - (woman groaning) 458 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:12,767 Come on, come on, march, march. 459 00:17:12,768 --> 00:17:14,351 (grunting) 460 00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,488 Say, why-why are you... down here? 461 00:17:17,489 --> 00:17:19,240 Eh, I said the earth was round. 462 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,775 (softly): Geez. 463 00:17:20,776 --> 00:17:22,526 (distant screaming) 464 00:17:22,527 --> 00:17:24,161 Yeah, I should probably... 465 00:17:24,162 --> 00:17:26,946 go back there and apologize. 466 00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:32,536 Hey... crazy idea. 467 00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:34,789 You two want to come with? 468 00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:36,540 Mm, up the butt. 469 00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:39,209 Come on. It's Ben and Becky. 470 00:17:41,046 --> 00:17:43,297 Hey, you know what, you guys just go on ahead. 471 00:17:43,298 --> 00:17:44,432 I'll meet you in there. Okay. 472 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,634 All right, do it, yeah. 473 00:17:46,635 --> 00:17:48,135 - (quietly): - Okay. (small demon muttering) 474 00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:49,937 All right. 475 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:52,056 B-Ben and Becky, so sorry for ruining the wedding. 476 00:17:52,057 --> 00:17:54,725 It-it's my fault, purely my fault. 477 00:17:54,726 --> 00:17:57,394 Words can't describe the... 478 00:17:57,395 --> 00:17:59,313 shame I feel. 479 00:17:59,314 --> 00:18:00,647 Yeah, I can stand by that. 480 00:18:02,284 --> 00:18:04,485 - Hey, shithead. - Oh, for God's sake. 481 00:18:04,486 --> 00:18:07,538 Your apology's going to suck my fuzzy ass. 482 00:18:07,539 --> 00:18:09,990 Could you just lay off me for 30 seconds? 483 00:18:09,991 --> 00:18:12,076 (laughing): You remember when you told Graham 484 00:18:12,077 --> 00:18:13,661 how much money you make and then he said, 485 00:18:13,662 --> 00:18:15,079 (Graham's voice): oh, we can definitely top that. 486 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,497 (normal voice): Do you remember that? 487 00:18:16,498 --> 00:18:17,665 Yes, we already covered that in there! 488 00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:19,333 How did you even get here?! 489 00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:20,634 Seriously, don't go in there, man, huh? 490 00:18:20,635 --> 00:18:22,470 - You're not going to fix things. - I-I... 491 00:18:22,471 --> 00:18:24,088 What are you, some kind of masochist?! 492 00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:25,639 Stop! 493 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,142 494 00:18:28,143 --> 00:18:29,810 MIKE: Oh, yeah, Linda. 495 00:18:29,811 --> 00:18:32,011 Oh, I'm in love. 496 00:18:33,315 --> 00:18:37,735 Oh, Joshua! 497 00:18:37,736 --> 00:18:39,353 (laughing) Ooh. 498 00:18:39,354 --> 00:18:41,772 So, uh, what happened? 499 00:18:41,773 --> 00:18:43,858 - What-what do you mean? - I-I ruined... 500 00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,242 I thought I ruined the wedding. 501 00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:46,527 Dude, get over yourself, bro. 502 00:18:46,528 --> 00:18:47,945 It's not about you. 503 00:18:47,946 --> 00:18:49,246 (laughs) Huh. 504 00:18:49,247 --> 00:18:50,698 Yeah, fair enough. 505 00:18:50,699 --> 00:18:52,416 You know what, Mike? 506 00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,868 I learned something tonight. 507 00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:55,753 - I realized that... - Shh... Nobody cares. 508 00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:57,705 (laughs) 509 00:18:57,706 --> 00:18:59,256 Hey, Mike, I learned something today. Meh, meh, meh. 510 00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:00,841 It's not 3-2-1 Contact, bro. 511 00:19:00,842 --> 00:19:02,376 It's a wedding. 512 00:19:02,377 --> 00:19:04,461 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 513 00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:06,380 BOTH: Everybody, conga! 514 00:19:06,381 --> 00:19:08,349 - Oh! Grab my ass! - Okay. 515 00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,383 516 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:17,558 Oh. Hi. 517 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:18,943 Mazel tov. Thank you for having me. 518 00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:20,677 It was a lovely wedding. 519 00:19:20,678 --> 00:19:22,294 Thanks, Jeff. 520 00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:26,208 Sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 521 00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:30,808 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37130

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