All language subtitles for Man Seeking Woman s01e03 Pitbull.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,381 --> 00:00:06,256 (Elevator bell dings) 2 00:00:21,884 --> 00:00:23,355 Oh... 3 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,668 (Exhales loudly) 4 00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:35,277 Woman's voice: Josh. 5 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:36,559 (Moaning on computer) 6 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,693 - Josh, come on. - Yeah, I know. 7 00:00:39,053 --> 00:00:40,430 We need to talk. 8 00:00:40,450 --> 00:00:42,952 Of course, what... What? What's up? 9 00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:45,486 - I don't want to do this anymore. - What... 10 00:00:45,506 --> 00:00:47,002 What? What-what do you mean? 11 00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:48,959 This just isn't working for me. 12 00:00:49,027 --> 00:00:50,664 It's the same thing every time. 13 00:00:50,732 --> 00:00:52,802 The laptop, the lubriderm. I'm bored. 14 00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:53,870 Aren't you bored? 15 00:00:53,938 --> 00:00:54,971 No, I'm not bored. 16 00:00:55,039 --> 00:00:56,073 This is fun. I think-I think... 17 00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:57,575 I like what we have. 18 00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,612 - I think it's fun. - Remember eighth grade? 19 00:00:59,682 --> 00:01:02,419 Back then, things were so passionate, they were exciting. 20 00:01:02,487 --> 00:01:05,441 God, I'll never forget the day we found that Delia's catalogue. 21 00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:07,228 Or-or that time on the bus on the 22 00:01:07,296 --> 00:01:10,436 - Washington, D.C. trip. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, D.C. was crazy. 23 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,405 But lately, it's gotten so mechanical. 24 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,475 I want more than this. 25 00:01:14,543 --> 00:01:17,246 I want to play guitar. I want to work a loom. 26 00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:18,417 Learn sign language. 27 00:01:18,437 --> 00:01:19,947 And you'll do all those things, but can we just 28 00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:22,585 pick this up in, like, three and a half to four minutes time? 29 00:01:22,653 --> 00:01:24,386 Okay, see, this is what I'm talking about. 30 00:01:24,454 --> 00:01:26,288 It's like we're just going through the motions. 31 00:01:26,355 --> 00:01:28,291 I'm sick of it. I-I want to see what's out there. 32 00:01:28,359 --> 00:01:31,197 I mean, I've only been with one other guy. 33 00:01:32,432 --> 00:01:34,298 What? When? 34 00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:37,100 - At camp. You were asleep. - Was it that 35 00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:41,420 - creepy kid with the dead eye, Tobias? - It wasn't Tobias. 36 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,041 Then who was it? 37 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,747 The point is I just, I can't take this anymore. 38 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,615 I'm sorry, Josh. I'm leaving. 39 00:01:48,683 --> 00:01:50,685 Whoa. Oh, my... 40 00:01:50,753 --> 00:01:53,390 Oh... wait, okay. D-don't go. Please, we can... 41 00:01:53,457 --> 00:01:55,460 We can try new things, we can spice it up. 42 00:01:55,528 --> 00:01:57,394 Different-different web sites. 43 00:01:57,462 --> 00:01:59,885 I... different grips. 44 00:02:00,096 --> 00:02:01,934 Good-bye, Josh. 45 00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:03,871 Good-bye, hand. 46 00:02:06,872 --> 00:02:09,627 Man's voice: don't you even think about it! 47 00:02:10,822 --> 00:02:13,874 S01E03 Pitbull 48 00:02:13,894 --> 00:02:16,977 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 49 00:02:41,604 --> 00:02:44,287 Thank you for joining me for dinner. 50 00:02:44,307 --> 00:02:45,950 Of course. That was fun. 51 00:02:45,970 --> 00:02:48,792 (Phone buzzing) Who is texting you so late? 52 00:02:48,812 --> 00:02:51,231 Oh, Mike. Wow. Let's see. 53 00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:55,432 "Better get hard, son. I'm getting you laid tonight." 54 00:02:55,452 --> 00:02:57,557 - Huh. - Ew. 55 00:02:57,624 --> 00:02:59,258 Yeah, ew. 56 00:02:59,326 --> 00:03:01,992 You don't need that guy to help you get a girlfriend. You know that, right? 57 00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:02,680 Mm. 58 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,929 Like, you're gonna find someone super wonderful, 59 00:03:04,997 --> 00:03:06,499 it's just a matter of time. 60 00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:08,862 Thank you. Thank you, Liz. I appreciate that. 61 00:03:08,882 --> 00:03:12,170 You know, and in the meantime, you can just... focus on you. 62 00:03:12,238 --> 00:03:14,573 - Mm-hmm. - The path to love... 63 00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:16,175 self-love. 64 00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,976 - Oh. Uh, yeah. - You know? 65 00:03:18,043 --> 00:03:19,943 Just maybe taking a yoga class. 66 00:03:20,011 --> 00:03:23,013 - Eh... - Or just go over to the gym. 67 00:03:23,081 --> 00:03:24,815 - Yeah, I guess I could. - Meditate. 68 00:03:24,883 --> 00:03:26,716 - Meditate five minutes a day. - Just... yeah, okay. 69 00:03:26,783 --> 00:03:30,252 - Yup. - These are just tiny little seeds 70 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,056 (phone buzzing) that we're planting here, and it's 71 00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:34,124 maybe not gonna take a day. 72 00:03:34,192 --> 00:03:36,758 Maybe not gonna take a week. A couple months. 73 00:03:36,826 --> 00:03:38,560 (Phone buzzing) Little tiny plant growing. 74 00:03:38,628 --> 00:03:41,055 "Oh, look at this plant." That's you. 75 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:43,566 Beautiful woman's gonna walk by. 76 00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:45,318 She's gonna be like... 77 00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:46,604 "I want that. 78 00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:48,205 "I want this... 79 00:03:48,273 --> 00:03:50,005 in my face." 80 00:03:50,073 --> 00:03:52,472 - Huh. - And you're gonna be like, 81 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:55,541 (buzzing) "Damn. So glad I watered myself." 82 00:03:55,608 --> 00:03:58,508 Whoa, whoa... why don't you go running with me tomorrow? 83 00:03:58,576 --> 00:03:59,940 - You could be my running partner. - Yeah, um... 84 00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:01,274 (Buzzing) You know, it's really good 85 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,808 for your endorphins and 86 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,308 - cardiovascular system and... - Yeah. 87 00:04:04,376 --> 00:04:05,575 Do you want to? 88 00:04:05,643 --> 00:04:07,909 - Yeah. Yup, yup. Yeah. - Yeah? Is 7:00 a.m. 89 00:04:07,977 --> 00:04:10,178 - Too early? - No, 7:00 a.m.'s not early enough. 90 00:04:10,245 --> 00:04:13,612 But, uh, in that case, I should hit the sack... 91 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,882 - Yeah, totally... - of hay. 92 00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:17,052 New and improved Josh. Bright and early. 93 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,887 - Right, no, that's perfect... 7:00 a.m. - See you tomorrow morning. 94 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,122 - See you tomorrow morning. - I'm excited. For you. 95 00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,158 - Oh, good. All right, cool. - Okay. I love you. 96 00:04:23,225 --> 00:04:24,924 - Yeah, I love you. Yeah, good night. - Bye. Good dinner. 97 00:04:24,992 --> 00:04:26,860 - Yes! - Bye, bye, bye. 98 00:04:26,927 --> 00:04:28,328 Wow, thank you. Thank you 99 00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,730 - so much. Well, this is great. - Oh, yeah. 100 00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,332 Uh, so what are-what are their names? 101 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,500 - Whose names? - The, uh... 102 00:04:33,568 --> 00:04:36,003 - slobbering girls. - Oh, no, I didn't mean specific girls, 103 00:04:36,071 --> 00:04:37,505 I just meant whoever's at the bar. 104 00:04:37,572 --> 00:04:39,472 Oh, you don't act... oh. 105 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,407 - Oh. - Come on, let's go. 106 00:04:41,474 --> 00:04:43,940 Yeah, I-I don't know, man. Bars aren't really my thing. 107 00:04:44,008 --> 00:04:47,910 Josh, the only way you're gonna 69 with some flat-chested skanks 108 00:04:47,978 --> 00:04:49,578 is if you go to the bar and talk to them. 109 00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:51,078 Yeah, I know. 110 00:04:51,146 --> 00:04:53,649 - You're not scared, are you? - I... no. 111 00:04:53,717 --> 00:04:55,644 You know how much I love... 112 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,006 - wooing women. - Great. It's on. 113 00:04:58,026 --> 00:05:01,190 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's just pregame first. 114 00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:03,327 Christ. 115 00:05:03,395 --> 00:05:05,177 It's already pretty late. 116 00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:07,532 We'll just pound these beers real quick and then we'll go, okay? 117 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,734 Five minutes. 118 00:05:08,802 --> 00:05:12,140 All right, five minutes. 119 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,145 Too much money, not enough time 120 00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:15,648 Get-get up off my grind 121 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:16,749 You-you stay behind 122 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,818 Too much money 123 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,321 Not-not enough time 124 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,656 Get-get up off my grind 125 00:05:21,724 --> 00:05:25,293 You stay behind 126 00:05:25,361 --> 00:05:26,963 Oh, that's a terrible way to drink beer. 127 00:05:27,031 --> 00:05:28,764 Terrible way to drink beer. Ugh. 128 00:05:28,832 --> 00:05:31,399 Make-make-make-make, make 'em drop. 129 00:05:31,466 --> 00:05:33,467 They call them matches because they match. Look at a... 130 00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:35,469 - Open up a matchbook, they all look the... - What? That's ridic... 131 00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:37,070 - They all look the same. - Oh, it is on. 132 00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:39,105 (Muffled dance music playing) 133 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,771 Uh, da, da, uh, we need to eat something, I think. 134 00:05:41,791 --> 00:05:42,464 What? 135 00:05:42,484 --> 00:05:45,509 Yeah, we-we need fuel for dancing and flirting. 136 00:05:45,576 --> 00:05:48,780 - Dude, it's getting late. - Let's just pound some Mexican food. 137 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:49,883 Five minutes. 138 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,485 - All right, fine. Five minutes. - Okay, come on, 139 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:55,389 Come on, this way. 140 00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:57,726 Too much money, not enough time 141 00:05:57,794 --> 00:06:00,396 Get-get up off my grind, you'll stay behind 142 00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:01,666 Ha! 143 00:06:01,734 --> 00:06:04,370 (Distorted slurp) (Distorted): Mmm. 144 00:06:04,438 --> 00:06:05,906 Too much money, not enough time 145 00:06:05,973 --> 00:06:10,679 Get-get up off my grind 146 00:06:10,747 --> 00:06:12,850 Make-make-make-make, make 'em drop 147 00:06:12,918 --> 00:06:15,586 My name Deezy, also known for making bras pop 148 00:06:15,654 --> 00:06:18,691 I'll put that charm up in that slot and hit the jackpot (Both): Mmm! 149 00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:21,492 Too much money, not enough time 150 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,796 Get-get up off my grind, you-you stay behind 151 00:06:24,864 --> 00:06:27,065 Too much money, not enough time yeah! 152 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:29,468 Get-get up off my grind, you stay behind 153 00:06:29,536 --> 00:06:31,003 Ha! 154 00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:33,405 You stay behind. 155 00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:38,374 Dude, we drank, we ate, it is on. 156 00:06:38,442 --> 00:06:40,241 (Indistinct chatter) 157 00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:41,875 Um... you... wait, wait, let's just, uh, 158 00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:44,983 pound a 10,000-piece Jigsaw puzzle first. 159 00:06:45,003 --> 00:06:46,246 Dude, it's getting... 160 00:06:46,314 --> 00:06:48,416 Too much money, not enough time 161 00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:50,984 Get-get up on my grind, you-you stay behind 162 00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:52,596 (Music distorts, stops) 163 00:06:57,658 --> 00:06:59,526 behind 164 00:06:59,594 --> 00:07:01,229 You stay behind 165 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,830 You stay b... You stay behind 166 00:07:03,898 --> 00:07:05,365 (Beeping) 167 00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,805 (Classical music playing, applause) 168 00:07:09,437 --> 00:07:10,538 (Muffled club music playing) 169 00:07:11,078 --> 00:07:13,176 It is on. 170 00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:14,645 (Indistinct chatter) 171 00:07:14,713 --> 00:07:16,782 (Echoing laughter) 172 00:07:16,849 --> 00:07:18,786 Wait. Uh, okay. 173 00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:21,524 Let's just pound this postmodern epic. Five minutes. 174 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,449 - No. - No. 175 00:07:23,469 --> 00:07:24,793 You know what? 176 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,729 I'm starting to think that you don't want to go in there. 177 00:07:26,796 --> 00:07:28,698 - Why would you say that? - I think you've just been stalling 178 00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,558 because you're afraid to hit on girls. 179 00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,805 Well, it's never gonna happen, is it, man? 180 00:07:33,873 --> 00:07:36,942 These... girls like this don't get with guys like me. 181 00:07:37,689 --> 00:07:39,144 Dude, she just totally checked you out. 182 00:07:39,212 --> 00:07:42,011 Holy Moses. Yeah, okay, let's-let's get in there. 183 00:07:42,079 --> 00:07:43,848 - Uh, let me just tie my shoes. - No, there's no time. 184 00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,250 It is on. 185 00:07:45,318 --> 00:07:46,785 Ooh, it's on. 186 00:07:48,954 --> 00:07:50,789 Oh, shit. 187 00:07:50,857 --> 00:07:54,573 That was Mike and Josh. You stay behind. 188 00:07:55,214 --> 00:07:57,417 Oh, man, it's super late already. 189 00:07:57,485 --> 00:08:00,025 Don't worry. Still plenty of time to score. 190 00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:03,192 Ooh, two clusters, divide and conquer. 191 00:08:03,212 --> 00:08:05,064 Josh: Uh, yeah? You don't want to stick together? 192 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,694 Uh... okay, and you're gone. 193 00:08:06,762 --> 00:08:09,978 (Whoops) This is the best night of my life! 194 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,335 Divide and conquer. 195 00:08:12,403 --> 00:08:14,808 Hey. Hey. 196 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,320 Hi. Uh... hi. 197 00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,802 What's good... What's the spot... 198 00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:20,806 Should I be in the center? 199 00:08:20,874 --> 00:08:22,358 Uh, uh, uh, uh, come on. 200 00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:24,355 Hey. How's it going? Hey. 201 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,043 Where should I be? Okay. Ow! 202 00:08:26,111 --> 00:08:28,680 Hi. Hi. Hey. 203 00:08:28,748 --> 00:08:30,049 Hi, hey. 204 00:08:30,116 --> 00:08:33,052 Hi. Hi. Hey. 205 00:08:33,119 --> 00:08:35,054 Hey, hi. 206 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,932 Mmm, mmm. (Grunting) 207 00:08:42,977 --> 00:08:45,364 That is just disgusting. 208 00:08:50,438 --> 00:08:52,507 Land ho! 209 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,575 Hold that. Uh, hey, I'm Josh. 210 00:08:54,643 --> 00:08:56,577 Uh, can I get you something to drink or... 211 00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:59,179 - Sure. Maybe a Cosmo? - That's a terrific idea. 212 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,237 Uh, barkeep? That'll be, uh, two Cosmos. 213 00:09:02,257 --> 00:09:05,981 - All right, that's 38 bucks. - It's $38? 214 00:09:06,821 --> 00:09:09,155 So, one-one cosmo. 215 00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:10,922 And... 216 00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,290 a glass of water. 217 00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:13,791 - All right. - Thank you. 218 00:09:13,859 --> 00:09:15,425 So, uh, what's your name? 219 00:09:15,492 --> 00:09:16,893 - Sara. - Sara. 220 00:09:16,961 --> 00:09:19,063 That is an oldie but a goodie. 221 00:09:19,131 --> 00:09:20,665 Very, very biblical. 222 00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:23,692 So, oldie but a goodie Sara, what... 223 00:09:24,905 --> 00:09:27,476 Thank... thank you. 224 00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:38,756 Oh, this is so easy. Mmm. 225 00:09:38,824 --> 00:09:41,160 (All laughing) (Mike whoops) 226 00:09:43,564 --> 00:09:46,433 (Laughs) Two shots, please. 227 00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:48,837 Dude, this place is sick. 228 00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:50,674 There's this girl, Sara... she is all over me. 229 00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:52,110 Are you... 230 00:09:52,178 --> 00:09:54,947 How-how is it so easy for you to talk to these girls? 231 00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:56,884 - Like, what's your secret? - Dude, there's no secret. 232 00:09:56,952 --> 00:09:59,287 All you got to do is find a girl, walk up to her, 233 00:09:59,355 --> 00:10:02,025 say "hi," do spiral eyes, ask her her name, 234 00:10:02,093 --> 00:10:03,561 - maybe buy her a drink, and then... - Wait, wait, wait. Go back. 235 00:10:03,628 --> 00:10:04,996 What-what did you just say? 236 00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:06,532 - Buy her a drink. - No, before that. 237 00:10:06,599 --> 00:10:08,467 - Say "hi"? - No, the other... 238 00:10:08,536 --> 00:10:10,736 Uh, spiral something. Something with spiral? 239 00:10:10,804 --> 00:10:13,404 Spiral eyes. You know, it's how you get girls to like you. 240 00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:14,607 One second. 241 00:10:14,674 --> 00:10:16,409 What's up, girl? 242 00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:21,978 - What's up? - See you on the dance floor. 243 00:10:22,046 --> 00:10:23,813 Can't wait. 244 00:10:23,881 --> 00:10:25,181 See? 245 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,084 I-I've never seen that before in my life. 246 00:10:27,151 --> 00:10:28,784 Your-your eyes turn into these spinning... 247 00:10:28,852 --> 00:10:31,222 Spinning hypnotic spirals. Right. Spiral eyes. 248 00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:32,794 Well, how did you learn to do that? 249 00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,429 Well, the same way everybody learns. 250 00:10:34,496 --> 00:10:36,664 The day I hit puberty, a wizard appeared and taught me. 251 00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:38,132 Did that not happen to you? 252 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,035 - No. - Are you sure? 253 00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:42,871 A tall guy, pointy hat, he had a long white beard? 254 00:10:42,939 --> 00:10:44,337 I know what a wizard looks like. 255 00:10:44,405 --> 00:10:45,872 I'm saying I've never met one. 256 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,609 Hold on. Wait a minute. Stop. 257 00:10:47,677 --> 00:10:49,845 If you can't do spiral eyes, how do you hit on girls? 258 00:10:49,912 --> 00:10:52,780 I-I don't know. I just walk up to them and say random stuff. 259 00:10:52,848 --> 00:10:54,783 - About what? - The room we're in. 260 00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:57,088 Or, uh, current events. 261 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,757 Like if there's something going on in the news. 262 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,159 Or if there's a song playing, I'll reference the song. 263 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,242 Stuff like that. 264 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,463 So, you can't do spiral eyes? 265 00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,864 - No. - That's unbelievable, man! 266 00:11:07,932 --> 00:11:09,466 I got to see what it's like to be you. 267 00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,200 - Yeah? - Just two seconds, yeah. 268 00:11:11,268 --> 00:11:13,770 - (Clears his throat) Cool bar, right? - What? 269 00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:17,239 Uh, it's pretty crazy what's happening in the news, huh? 270 00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:18,608 I've got to go. 271 00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:20,108 Of course you do. 272 00:11:20,176 --> 00:11:21,740 (Laughing): Who could blame you? 273 00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:23,606 - That's your life? - Yeah. 274 00:11:23,674 --> 00:11:26,675 That was, like, oh, my asshole and my throat touched 275 00:11:26,742 --> 00:11:28,712 in the center of my body. 276 00:11:28,779 --> 00:11:31,109 No wonder you were scared to come in here, man. Ooh. 277 00:11:31,129 --> 00:11:31,763 Yeah. 278 00:11:31,783 --> 00:11:33,484 - I'm really sorry, but... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just... 279 00:11:33,552 --> 00:11:35,620 teach me how to do, uh, spiral eyes. 280 00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:37,021 Dude, I'm no wizard. 281 00:11:37,089 --> 00:11:39,991 I'm just an ordinary guy. 282 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,325 Who wants some of this? 283 00:11:43,345 --> 00:11:46,746 Yeah, touch it. Touch it. Touch it, yeah. 284 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:50,865 My life is amazing! 285 00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:52,334 (Mike laughs) 286 00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:54,937 No condoms tonight. Mm, mm. 287 00:11:59,575 --> 00:12:03,143 (Sputters, sighs) 288 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,816 (Toilet flushing) 289 00:12:05,883 --> 00:12:07,854 (Imitates gunshot) 290 00:12:07,874 --> 00:12:10,788 (Zippering) 291 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,091 (Man humming) 292 00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:16,095 (Lever clicking) 293 00:12:16,163 --> 00:12:17,899 (Man laughs) 294 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,881 Having a good night. 295 00:12:20,998 --> 00:12:24,337 It's like a vagina party out there. 296 00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:26,123 Supply and demand, 297 00:12:26,143 --> 00:12:29,544 but there's too much demand sometimes, 298 00:12:29,611 --> 00:12:32,484 and, you know, not enough of these, I guess. 299 00:12:32,894 --> 00:12:34,259 Oh. (Laughs) 300 00:12:34,279 --> 00:12:35,363 He had a good night. Ooh. 301 00:12:35,364 --> 00:12:36,555 It smells like curry. 302 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:37,857 One size fits all. 303 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,770 Hopefully, it'll fit. 304 00:12:40,461 --> 00:12:42,314 Oh. 305 00:12:43,294 --> 00:12:44,699 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 306 00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,901 Dude, where you going, man? 307 00:12:45,969 --> 00:12:47,704 I'm going home. Come on. 308 00:12:47,772 --> 00:12:49,206 You can't quit, Josh. 309 00:12:49,274 --> 00:12:50,673 There's still plenty of girls left. 310 00:12:50,741 --> 00:12:52,042 That's not gonna happen, man. 311 00:12:52,110 --> 00:12:53,678 I'm-I'm tired, and I'm broke, 312 00:12:53,746 --> 00:12:56,270 and it's very late. I'm-I'm done. 313 00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:58,984 - Let me buy you drink. - I don't want another drink, man! 314 00:12:59,052 --> 00:13:00,284 Whoa. 315 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:03,650 You, do a shot with me. 316 00:13:03,670 --> 00:13:06,413 - Yeah. Go. - Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. 317 00:13:07,232 --> 00:13:08,526 (Sighs) 318 00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:09,927 Yeah. 319 00:13:09,994 --> 00:13:11,764 (Laughs) 320 00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:13,433 Okay. Hey. 321 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,869 (Woman laughs) Attaboy! 322 00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:19,232 Get it in where you fit it in, dawg. 323 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,766 - Come on. - No, no, no. 324 00:13:49,936 --> 00:13:52,084 (Sniffing) 325 00:13:53,015 --> 00:13:54,323 (Mumbles) All right, okay. 326 00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:56,424 (Sniffing) 327 00:13:57,011 --> 00:13:58,628 (Groaning) 328 00:13:58,695 --> 00:14:01,866 (Slow-motion growling) 329 00:14:08,241 --> 00:14:10,476 All right... ooh. 330 00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:13,016 Ooh. Oh, gosh. Okay. 331 00:14:13,084 --> 00:14:14,651 - Okay. Get down. - Oh, okay. 332 00:14:14,719 --> 00:14:16,286 (Groans) 333 00:14:16,354 --> 00:14:17,422 Now it's like Basic Instinct. 334 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,259 - Take it off. - Okay. Yeah. 335 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,096 - All right. - Now, just take it... 336 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,631 Yeah. (Both moaning) 337 00:14:22,699 --> 00:14:25,067 (Moaning and groaning) Okay. 338 00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:27,268 - (Panting) Oh, give it to me. - Okay. Here we go. 339 00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:29,271 - God. - Just keep it going. 340 00:14:29,339 --> 00:14:30,873 - Just take it off. - I'll take off my shirt, 341 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,164 and you take off yours. Okay. 342 00:14:32,184 --> 00:14:34,607 - Okay. I want it. There we go. - Josh, Josh, Josh. 343 00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:36,681 - Shh. - Okay. Aah. Go. 344 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,945 - You get on top. - Oh, okay. 345 00:14:38,013 --> 00:14:39,279 - Get on top. - Yeah. 346 00:14:39,347 --> 00:14:40,447 - Okay. Okay. - Come on. 347 00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:41,948 Oh. Yeah. 348 00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:44,516 Josh! This is for Josh. Uh. 349 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,013 - Oh, give it to me. - Oh, yeah. 350 00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:47,554 Oh, I want it. Come on. 351 00:14:47,622 --> 00:14:49,089 (Sighs) 352 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,025 - I want you to give it... - Oh, my God. Yes. 353 00:14:51,093 --> 00:14:53,096 - Give it to me. Give it to me. - Oh, yeah, give, give. Oh. 354 00:14:53,163 --> 00:14:54,230 - Uh, uh... - Come on. 355 00:14:54,298 --> 00:14:56,134 Yeah, just let me... Can I just go 356 00:14:56,201 --> 00:14:57,938 to the bathroom real quick? Just two secs. 357 00:14:58,006 --> 00:14:59,341 Yeah. Just hurry. Go. 358 00:14:59,409 --> 00:15:02,177 Hurry. Hurry. 359 00:15:05,585 --> 00:15:07,821 Okay. 360 00:15:10,763 --> 00:15:12,724 Shit! 361 00:15:13,493 --> 00:15:15,301 Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?! 362 00:15:16,545 --> 00:15:18,575 Shit! Think, think, think, think, think. 363 00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:20,546 (Touch tones sounding) 364 00:15:20,613 --> 00:15:22,129 (Phone ringing) Hello. 365 00:15:22,149 --> 00:15:23,420 Yeah. Hi there. Hi. 366 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,750 You just dropped me off a few seconds ago. 367 00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:27,286 You are the drunk boy. 368 00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:29,523 I-I am the drunk boy. Listen, this is 369 00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:31,624 kind of embarrassing, but I lost my dick, 370 00:15:31,691 --> 00:15:33,058 so, can you just take a look 371 00:15:33,126 --> 00:15:34,359 and see if it's there? 372 00:15:34,427 --> 00:15:35,893 I don't see it. 373 00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:38,764 Wait. Uh, may-maybe it rolled onto the floor. 374 00:15:38,831 --> 00:15:40,763 I see no dicks, my friend. 375 00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:43,665 Okay, all right. Uh, thank you. 376 00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:45,668 (Moaning) Hurry! 377 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,636 Uh, just one-one second! 378 00:15:47,704 --> 00:15:50,405 (Phone ringing) What up? What up? 379 00:15:50,473 --> 00:15:52,575 I'll check the... I'll check the lost and found. 380 00:15:52,642 --> 00:15:53,903 Yeah. 381 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,778 Yeah, there's a couple dicks in here. 382 00:15:56,846 --> 00:15:58,279 Oh, great! 383 00:15:58,347 --> 00:15:59,714 - Is it pierced? - No. 384 00:15:59,781 --> 00:16:01,515 - Does it have prongs? - What? 385 00:16:01,582 --> 00:16:03,917 Oh, never mind. That's a cell phone charger. 386 00:16:03,984 --> 00:16:05,486 It's not here. 387 00:16:05,554 --> 00:16:07,396 - Shit! - Woman: Hey! 388 00:16:07,756 --> 00:16:10,473 Jared! Come on! 389 00:16:10,493 --> 00:16:12,994 Just one, uh, second! 390 00:16:13,062 --> 00:16:14,129 (Touch tones sounding) 391 00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:15,729 Uh, no, 392 00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:18,200 nobody turned in any dicks. Sorry, buddy. 393 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,903 Okay, uh, can-can you check the men's room, 394 00:16:19,971 --> 00:16:22,406 because I know I had it with me at the urinal? 395 00:16:22,474 --> 00:16:25,341 You're killing me, dude. Hold on. 396 00:16:25,409 --> 00:16:27,210 Thank you. (Door opens over phone) 397 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,646 All right, I'm in the men's room by the urinals here. 398 00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:31,045 Can't... whoa! 399 00:16:31,113 --> 00:16:35,884 (Thudding, gagging, retching) 400 00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:37,152 (Plopping) Bartender: Uh... 401 00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:38,551 What happened? 402 00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:40,486 Uh, I-I slipped on your dick. 403 00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:42,087 Then it flew in the air. 404 00:16:42,155 --> 00:16:44,188 I landed on my back, and I guess my mouth was open, 405 00:16:44,256 --> 00:16:45,622 'cause it fell right in my mouth. 406 00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,759 And then, I spat it out and, well, 407 00:16:47,826 --> 00:16:49,527 long story short, it's in the toilet. 408 00:16:49,595 --> 00:16:50,961 It's in the...? Oh, man. 409 00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:52,697 Can you please fish it out for me? 410 00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:55,069 Well, I would, but the thing is, last guy in here 411 00:16:55,137 --> 00:16:57,305 wasn't exactly an expert in the fine art of flushing. 412 00:16:57,373 --> 00:16:58,939 Oh, my God. This is... this... 413 00:16:59,007 --> 00:17:00,841 Okay, well, I... I really, really need it, 414 00:17:00,909 --> 00:17:02,609 like, right now, man. 415 00:17:02,677 --> 00:17:05,278 All right, fine, I'll grab it. Hold... 416 00:17:05,345 --> 00:17:06,947 (Bartender yelling, dog snarling and barking) 417 00:17:07,015 --> 00:17:08,647 Let go. Let go. Let go. Give me the... give me that thing! 418 00:17:08,715 --> 00:17:10,215 Is that a dog? 419 00:17:10,283 --> 00:17:11,649 Stop it! Out of the mouth! 420 00:17:11,717 --> 00:17:13,117 (Bartender groans) 421 00:17:13,184 --> 00:17:14,418 What was all that? (Dog whimpering) 422 00:17:14,485 --> 00:17:16,553 Uh, don't worry about it. 423 00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:19,057 Hey, come on! 424 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,792 Oh, yeah, just a... Just a minute! 425 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,661 All right, man, your dick will be 426 00:17:22,729 --> 00:17:25,265 in the cash register for you tomorrow. 427 00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:26,896 No, no, no, no, man, I need it right now. 428 00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:28,229 I'm-I'm with a girl, and she wants to have sex with me! 429 00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:30,031 Well, you know, 430 00:17:30,099 --> 00:17:32,667 sex doesn't necessarily have to involve a penis. 431 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:34,466 Oh, my God. 432 00:17:34,533 --> 00:17:36,667 There are many ways for you to be erotic with your partner. 433 00:17:36,735 --> 00:17:39,039 For instance, a-a long, intimate conversation... sometimes 434 00:17:39,106 --> 00:17:42,506 that can be more sensual than any penetrative act. 435 00:17:42,573 --> 00:17:44,774 Oh, this is the worst night ever. 436 00:17:44,842 --> 00:17:46,343 Hey, buddy, how do you think I feel? 437 00:17:46,411 --> 00:17:48,544 I just wrestled a pit bull for a shit-covered dick. 438 00:17:48,612 --> 00:17:50,412 I think a thank you might be in order. 439 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,046 No, you-you make a fair point. 440 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,750 I'm sorry. Thank you. 441 00:17:53,818 --> 00:17:55,185 All right. Well, you're welcome. 442 00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:56,976 Have a great night. Good luck. 443 00:17:57,921 --> 00:18:00,454 Oh, my God. 444 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,588 Oh, finally. 445 00:18:02,656 --> 00:18:04,925 Um, Krystal, I-I'm sorry. 446 00:18:04,993 --> 00:18:06,360 I don't think I can. 447 00:18:06,428 --> 00:18:08,161 Oh, yes, you can. 448 00:18:08,228 --> 00:18:09,525 I can't. I'm sorry. Uh, no. Oh, yeah? 449 00:18:09,593 --> 00:18:12,693 I can't. Uh, so... yeah. 450 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,427 I-I'm... this has never... 451 00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:16,895 This doesn't usually happen to me. Uh... 452 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,898 Uh-huh. 453 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:23,703 Do you want to have, like, a long, intimate conversation? 454 00:18:24,053 --> 00:18:25,573 What? 455 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,808 Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. 456 00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:30,177 - I hate me, too. - Geez. 457 00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:32,012 (Phone buzzing) 458 00:18:34,018 --> 00:18:36,048 Hey, Josh, are you lost? 459 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,017 I'm-I'm on the south side of the park. 460 00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,719 I'm just gonna be, uh, running loops. 461 00:18:39,787 --> 00:18:42,560 All right. I'm so proud of you! 462 00:18:44,593 --> 00:18:46,494 - Mike: Dude! - What? 463 00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:48,894 - What are you doing here? - Oh, man, I got so drunk, 464 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,629 I forgot my credit card at the bar. 465 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,835 Oh, yeah, uh, that's-that's also what I forgot. 466 00:18:53,903 --> 00:18:56,336 Man, last night was sick! 467 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,970 Me and this banging little skank tore 468 00:18:58,038 --> 00:18:59,907 through a ten-pack of condoms. 469 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:02,209 Yeah. Oh. Filled her up with my milk. 470 00:19:02,277 --> 00:19:04,109 - Milkman's coming. Hello. - Yeah. 471 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,480 (Laughs) Got, like, six gallons of milk for you. 472 00:19:07,549 --> 00:19:09,081 Yeah, I get it, yeah. 473 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,547 - I love this milk analogy, dude. - Yeah. 474 00:19:10,614 --> 00:19:12,315 How'd it go with that drunk chick? 475 00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:14,115 Yeah, very similar. 476 00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:16,617 Lots of, uh, milk, and, uh, it was a very positive experience. 477 00:19:16,685 --> 00:19:18,653 (Laughs) Yeah. 478 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,857 - Ooh, we crushed it, dawg. - Oh, yeah. 479 00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:23,161 - What did I tell you, boy. - Uh! (Groans) 480 00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,629 Hey, here are your dicks. 481 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,998 Thank-thank you. 482 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,986 (Groans) 483 00:19:33,947 --> 00:19:34,879 You want to, uh... 484 00:19:34,946 --> 00:19:36,814 You want to get a bacon-egg-and-cheese, or...? 485 00:19:36,882 --> 00:19:39,184 Yeah, yeah. 486 00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,619 Uh... 487 00:19:41,687 --> 00:19:46,297 - I think we've got each other's. - Yup. Yup, that's exactly... yup. 488 00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:49,561 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 489 00:19:49,611 --> 00:19:54,161 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34909

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.