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1
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:06,940
Oh, monstrous! Oh, strange!
We're hunted!
2
00:00:06,980 --> 00:00:10,780
Pray for us, masters!
Fly for us, masters! Help!
3
00:00:10,820 --> 00:00:14,740
I'll follow you...
4
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,060
Sorry about that.
5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,580
A bit of an epiphany over the
weekend, and I get excited about it.
6
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,860
I can't believe I'm actually gonna
do it! Could we talk afterwards?
7
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,580
It's just...
8
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:29,340
What do you see? You see an ass-head
of your own, do you?
9
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:33,140
Oh. I will walk up and down here
and I will sing. Yeah.
10
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:37,180
That they shall hear I am not
afraid!
11
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:40,060
Well done! That was so great!
12
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:44,100
Maybe Shakespeare isn't such a
massive-collared super-fag, eh, Dennis?
13
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,740
I'm so proud of you and I...
14
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:51,780
Yep. Guys, I'd like to say
something, if I may.
15
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,274
Well, I know a lot of you
have been wondering
16
00:00:54,474 --> 00:00:56,260
what I'm gonna do
when I leave school.
17
00:00:57,020 --> 00:00:59,100
What the next big move will be.
18
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,900
If I'm honest, some of you have been
pretty dickish about it.
19
00:01:01,940 --> 00:01:03,535
The rest of you,
I want you to know
20
00:01:03,735 --> 00:01:05,940
that it looks like
Mr Davies is going to be...
21
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,940
Yes, Robin? Who is he?
22
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:13,980
Robin! You can't have forgotten me!
I haven't left yet!
23
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:53,260
Oh, my goodness! You're...
24
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,980
Anne Finton. Pleased to meet you.
25
00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:57,460
I think I recognise my own
Member of Parliament!
26
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,180
I'm a great admirer. Great admirer.
27
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:04,220
Your "Respect the Veterans" campaign
was electric!
28
00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:06,820
Well, someone has to give them
a voice.
29
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,860
And we're neighbours!
30
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:14,620
Sorry. Brian Ames. Ames Financial
Services.
31
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:16,500
We're small but enthusiastic.
32
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,620
I'll have to pop in on a walkabout.
33
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,020
Today? Oh, that's so frustrating.
34
00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,820
I've taken the day off
to help a friend.
35
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:25,700
Another time. Wonderful!
I'll call my assistant, Barbara.
36
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,580
What day would best suit?
37
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,780
Another time. Must go.
38
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:33,820
Surgery day. A lot of cross people
to soothe. Right!
39
00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:41,780
Betcha-by-golly-wow!
40
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,980
The key is to make them think
you're capable of hitting them,
41
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:48,100
then you just give out the
worksheets. I love supply teaching.
42
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:50,220
Good, Dad. Now, what is this news?
43
00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:54,260
I have to go. It's bloody full-on
here. I'm marking on a Saturday!
44
00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:57,580
What?! Why?! Emma! Coo-ee!
45
00:02:57,620 --> 00:03:00,220
Sorry, I forgot to say. I've shaved
an Ewok.
46
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:02,460
Polly, hi! Are you baking again?
Yes.
47
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,700
It's Jo's Big Shop opening today.
48
00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:09,740
I'm making her some cakes. Oh, is
that today? That is exciting news!
49
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,700
Yes, all very exciting. Plus I have
my own announcement.
50
00:03:12,740 --> 00:03:16,220
Emma doesn't want to hear about
the big trump you did last night.
51
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,700
You animal! Not that, obviously!
52
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,340
Last night, you wanted me to
call the Guinness Book of Records!
53
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:24,660
I get bored!
54
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:27,900
No. Listen, I...
55
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:30,020
Emma? What the...
56
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:33,580
Polly, I was painting the windowsills in
the front room and I knocked this off.
57
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,340
Oh, well done
58
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:39,220
Well, then, my little muffin-top.
Have you got a pot for my brush?
59
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,260
I'm not sure I've got one
big enough!
60
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:46,180
I think you're over-estimating
the size of my brush!
61
00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:49,380
I could just scrub it with some
turps.
62
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,540
I'm not very good at the flirty
stuff.
63
00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:53,580
I don't know what you see in me,
Daddy!
64
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:57,060
Nor do I. It's like having a crush
on the dwarf in Don't Look Now!
65
00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:00,900
Right, if you'll excuse us, we have
something to talk about, Daedalus.
66
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,620
I do wish you'd call him Daddy.
67
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,180
Call me Daddy, lad.
68
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:07,340
You alright? Everybody calls him
Daddy. I don't!
69
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,940
I'm the universal daddy, that's why.
70
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,340
You are! I am! He is! I am!
71
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:16,380
He's everybody's daddy.
He's not MY daddy!
72
00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:21,100
You're not my daddy, so...
73
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:22,940
Eh, lad. What's wrong with 'ee?
74
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:26,820
Oh! Jo's card! Mum, my news!
75
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:30,140
Thee's a bloated ditch rat!
Here we go!
76
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,820
What's thy news?
77
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:34,740
You got shit running through thee
like a stick of rock?
78
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:38,340
That's not news. That's common
knowledge.
79
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:41,460
If this were my house,
I'd break thee.
80
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:45,500
I'd take a pan of hot water to thee
face while tha' slept.
81
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:48,940
Tha'd look like The English Patient
by the time I'd finished.
82
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:52,980
I'll tell thee this.
83
00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:55,900
Tha will call me Daddy.
84
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:59,940
Tha will call me Daddy soon enough.
85
00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:04,820
Daniel and I were just saying
we might go fishing one day.
86
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:07,660
Lovely!
87
00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:16,260
What are you doing? They're making me
re-take my test! Bloody nanny state!
88
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,340
Well, take his car! What, use a
Jaguar to take your driving test?!
89
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:24,740
The lad's got shit
where his brain should live!
90
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,260
Nesta's got to take her test.
91
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:28,860
What do you need the car for?
92
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,100
To drive somewhere and be silly?
93
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:34,900
I want to go and see my friends! They
might actually be interested in my news!
94
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:38,100
What news? Yes, come on, what news?
I'm late, boy!
95
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:40,180
Well...
96
00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:42,820
I've been doing a lot of
soul-searching, recently.
97
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:45,580
And I've finally decided that...
98
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:49,220
..I'm gonna go and live in America.
99
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,900
Try mastering washing your own
underpants, first, Daniel!
100
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:06,940
I AM going to live in America.
101
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:09,220
Aghh! Sorry!
102
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:14,580
My fucking knee!
103
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:17,042
Not my place, but if I'd used that
language in front of my father,
104
00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:18,620
he'd have attacked me
with a hammer!
105
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,940
Daniel, come back! Let me put
some ice on your knee!
106
00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:26,980
No, thank you!
107
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:31,980
Brian, if you won't help me stock
the shelves,
108
00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,460
you can at least tell me what you
think of these shop names.
109
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,260
What about "Big Shop"? No!
110
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:39,060
Sexy Tesco? No!
111
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,780
Death To The West. What?!
Mickey's idea.
112
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:44,037
Look, Brian, you come up
with a name for the shop,
113
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,820
then! "The Full Mental Breakdown"?
114
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:50,100
That's catchy. Jo, it has to be a
name that reflects what you sell.
115
00:06:50,580 --> 00:06:54,260
But we sell everything!
We've been through this!
116
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:58,020
Selling one product that begins with every
letter of the alphabet is not "everything".
117
00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,620
What is all this rubbish, anyway?
118
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:02,980
"I can't beef this,
cos I do big walkin'!"
119
00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:05,220
That's a Beefy Lee wrestling doll.
120
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:09,260
They're so rare, you can't find them
on the internet. I've got 1,400!
121
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:13,380
'Beefy jump high with his mouth
real wide!'
122
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:15,860
Are you sure he's a real wrestler?
I've never heard of him.
123
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:19,060
He's got a doll, Brian!
124
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,540
Well!
125
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,460
I have some news. This whole thing
is a bloody disaster!
126
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,300
Who's the guest of honour?
Who's doing the opening? The monkey.
127
00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,620
The monkey?
128
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,420
Micky's got hold of his uncle's
chimp,
129
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:34,940
trained it to bite through ribbon...
For God's sake!
130
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:37,380
I said I have some news!
131
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:39,940
Jo, you need a proper guest.
You need press!
132
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:43,980
I shouldn't use a monkey?
Of course not!
133
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,580
If I did have a monkey,
134
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,660
it would be OK to keep it
in the stock cupboard?
135
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,940
Oh, my God! Betcha-by-golly-wow!
136
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:55,980
Anne Finton! I'll call Anne Finton.
We had an incredible rapport.
137
00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:58,860
Oh, if I could get her down here!
Oh, my!
138
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,946
It wouldn't negate
the madness of the shop,
139
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:02,900
but it might provide a distraction.
140
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,060
Last time, I said I have some news.
141
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,620
Dan, I can see you've got
a swollen knee.
142
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:14,660
I've got a monkey whose feelings
are about to be very hurt.
143
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,900
'I'm training my fans
to eat no bones.'
144
00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:22,180
Brian?
145
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:23,700
Brian!
146
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:26,580
I mean, if you saw her championing
veterans in the Commons,
147
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,860
her speech made me leap
with excitement.
148
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,460
Christ! THE Anne Finton!
149
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,540
Yes. I'm glad you developed
a dinosaur for our MP.
150
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:36,660
Fellow, have a bit of respect!
151
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,180
Oh, God!
152
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:40,540
Right. Come with me.
153
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:44,580
What? Come with me over here.
It's important.
154
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,460
Right. I see. Understood.
155
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,620
That's a great shame.
156
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,380
She's busy.
157
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:56,620
Of course she's busy.
It's surgery day.
158
00:08:56,660 --> 00:09:00,660
That woman really is the consummate
pubic servant.
159
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:03,340
My God, your knee is enormous!
160
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:07,380
Never mind my knee. And can we just
forget about Jo's shop for one second?
161
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:10,100
I brought you here to our old
playground for a reason.
162
00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:14,140
We need a Plan B. I guess we could ask
that weather girl from local news.
163
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,660
What's her name?
164
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:19,700
Brian, please! Sit down.
Have a swing.
165
00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:29,580
OK. Here goes.
166
00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,100
Last week, when I was sitting at
Dad's gravestone,
167
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,100
I realised,
168
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:39,140
this town, Brian, it's my past.
169
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,660
And, well, my future...
170
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,500
Cathy Painter!
171
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,140
What?!
172
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:49,820
The weather girl. She's no Finton,
but she might attract some press.
173
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:53,860
Brian, I'm trying to tell you
something here!
174
00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:59,140
I'm going to America.
175
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,580
For ever.
176
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:04,020
What do you think?
177
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,740
I think that's not news.
178
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,860
It's massive news! Have you told
Emma? Got a job?
179
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,060
Well, no. No. Thought not.
180
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:15,460
You may as well have said you're
planning on getting a chocolate nose!
181
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,900
It took me a lot of courage
to tell you this!
182
00:10:17,940 --> 00:10:20,140
It's not a decision. It's a whim.
183
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:23,500
Just like resigning.
Just like joining the church.
184
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,100
It's just plucked from the air!
185
00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:28,620
Jesus Christ, Dan, even Jo has
a strategy for life
186
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:32,660
and she thinks it's OK for a chimp
to open a shop!
187
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,580
Let's go and see if Painter's free.
188
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:40,620
You are unbelievable!
189
00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:44,980
Goodbye! Where are you going?
190
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,300
Dan?
191
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:49,220
What the..? Oh, I don't believe
this!
192
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:50,800
Dan!
193
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:55,000
Dan!
194
00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:04,540
Barbara, could you get some
bolt-cutters? I'm stuck.
195
00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:08,580
Hello! Bye-bye!
196
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:11,460
Hello. Could I have my phone back,
please?
197
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,780
Do you want a push? No, thank you.
198
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,820
No. Girls, I really don't want to be
pushed!
199
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,540
Please... Dan?
200
00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:22,580
Dan! OK, girls. Girls, I really
don't want to be...
201
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,420
Girls, please!
202
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:27,000
DAN!
203
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,520
Lee, how you getting on, lad?
204
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,920
What? Well, how fat is he?
205
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,240
"A bit fatter than normal"?
206
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,320
Well, that's not a fat dog story,
then, is it?
207
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,120
Fuckin' hell, lad. Do you want me
to have a stroke?
208
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,920
I can't fill space
with another shed advert!
209
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,960
There is no fucking shed company,
Lee! I made the bastard up!
210
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,040
Fuckin' hell!
211
00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,800
Hello!
212
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,280
I've got a bit of a local story,
if you're interested?
213
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,280
Oh, thank God! Listen to this shite!
214
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,440
'I'm still watching TV.
215
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,760
'Could you pick us up some milky
biscuits from Tesco?'
216
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,120
God knows I've got
the column inches, lad
217
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,400
Oh, dear.
218
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,920
Oh, my!
219
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,480
Jesus wept on a mountain!
220
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,640
That is an absolute beauty!
221
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,960
Sorry, what is? Your melon.
222
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,720
Your pumpkin! That's a front-pager!
223
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,080
Let's have a look at it.
Hang on, what you doing?
224
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,680
I've got to relieve the pressure.
It's puffing up like a baboon's shitter!
225
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,480
Watch this.
226
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,880
Ooh, there you go! Yep, yep, yep.
227
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,120
Why did you cut it so high?
228
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,040
You've made me look like
Rosemary Ford!
229
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,000
Oh, my life! It'll write itself,
this headline.
230
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,560
"Knee Willie Winkie."
231
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,160
"Knee Bother." No, I've got it.
232
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,680
"Knee high to a grasshopper!"
233
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,600
I'll superimpose a grasshopper
on it.
234
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,120
Lee! You snaggled too few bets in.
235
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,960
Get your camera here now.
Massive knee in the office.
236
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,120
My knee isn't the story.
237
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,520
You're joking? That's gold!
238
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,240
Look at that shit!
239
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,640
I didn't come in about the knee.
240
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,400
I work at a local school
and I'm going to America!
241
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,640
Bloody hell, lad!
242
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,920
I go to Florida once a year.
243
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,280
You want me to write about
me and my wife getting bored
244
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,640
with each other in Epcot?!
245
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,360
Yeah, but I'm gonna live there!
It's a headline.
246
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,960
"Local boy bids tearful farewell."
That sort of thing.
247
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,800
Let's go with the knee.
248
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,400
I'm not offering the knee!
249
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,120
I don't need your permission!
That's public interest!
250
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,520
I'll just run it! Well, I'll leave
before you can get a photo!
251
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,800
Well, I'll do an artist's
impression!
252
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,760
What's wrong with you?
America's a great story!
253
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,520
Get off your high horse. You're just
a fat lad with a big knee!
254
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,080
Be thankful I need a story
this badly!
255
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,120
Oh, forget it! No! Lee! Get it!
It's leaving!
256
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,160
Lee, it's going! Lee!
257
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,640
Get away from me! Lee!
258
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,240
My battery's gone! Fuck me, Lee!
259
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,040
If I sent you to Syria, you'd come
back with a photo of a fucking cup!
260
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,080
Piss off! And tell your mother
I'll be back at seven!
261
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,400
Fucking twat!
262
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,120
Girls, please, stop that.
263
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,120
Please, if you could just pass me
my phone! Please, girls!
264
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,440
We pushed the man.
265
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,760
Shall we brush his hair?
266
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,800
No! For God's sake, where are your
parents?
267
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,080
You do realise your pixelated face
is now burnt into my retinas?
268
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,600
'That's how often you're calling.' Yeah.
Alright. Listen, have you got a minute?
269
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,360
Oh, let me check. No. Can it wait?
270
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,400
Yep.
271
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,840
What's wrong with your knee?
272
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,040
Bloody hell, mate! Get it lanced!
273
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,080
It's like that dress Angela Rippon
wore on Morecambe and Wise!
274
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,720
It'll be like Scanners if that pops,
mate!
275
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,760
You know, that dress she wore!
No-one could believe it
276
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,280
cos she's a newsreader!
277
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,320
Ooh!
278
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,240
Hello, dear. Oh, my God!
279
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,640
I don't want to talk about the knee!
280
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,520
Problems?
281
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,240
Nothing you're interested in.
Try me.
282
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,320
I've already told you.
I'm going to America to live.
283
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,520
Right. Well, if that's what you
want.
284
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,440
Yeah. That's about the level of
enthusiasm everyone's mustered!
285
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,920
Daniel, what have you done for Jo?
286
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,221
What? Well, today is
Jo's special day, isn't it?
287
00:15:53,421 --> 00:15:54,960
What have you done to help her?
288
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,200
Jo is not the only one trying to get
on with her bloody life, Nesta!
289
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,720
No. But she's the only one sitting
in an empty shop
290
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,720
hoping that her friends will be
there for her.
291
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,240
Now, we will talk about your
American trip later.
292
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,120
And then perhaps you can help me
work out
293
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,160
what I'm going to do now that
I've lost my driving licence.
294
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,320
You failed?! Yes!
295
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,960
Still, it's not about us today, eh?
296
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:30,160
Oh, shit!
297
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,920
Nesta, I think I've got an idea.
298
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,840
We should get in the car.
You can't drive with that knee!
299
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,040
No...
300
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:45,040
I can't.
301
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,080
Hello, gents!
302
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,280
Christ, what you done to your knee?
303
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,800
You can't be hanging it out
the window. What if she brakes?
304
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,360
That's not even the half of it. This old
lady hasn't even got a driving licence!
305
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,120
He's right. I failed my test.
306
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,520
I've got to get a run, so fuck it,
eh, boys?
307
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,560
Kiss my fat knee, you goblin shits!
308
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,600
That's it!
309
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:18,320
Pretty maiden,
pretty maiden, pretty maiden...
310
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,520
Daniel, I can't lose them!
311
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,160
Good. That's the point!
312
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,200
Brian might not be able to get Anne
Finton to the shop, but maybe I can.
313
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,880
Hello? Yes, could you tell
Miss Finton something?
314
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,334
Could you tell her there's an
80-year-old on the high street
315
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:38,720
that's about to be arrested?
316
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,000
Yep. Oh, yes, she's distressed!
317
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,920
Yes, she's a veteran.
318
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,160
From pensioner to fugitive!
319
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,120
Lee, you'd better get down there.
320
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,400
It's a police chase,
you wonky-toothed turd!
321
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,160
And get my angina pills.
322
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,200
My ticker's going like
a fucking stone!
323
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,800
Well, it's not the dream launch
I'd hoped for.
324
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,560
I may as well just open it.
325
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,960
'Turn the engine off
and get out the car!'
326
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,840
Hands up on the shop.
What on earth's going on?
327
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,000
She was determined to be here for the
launch of her granddaughter's shop.
328
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,840
There was no-one to do the official
opening, so she would do it herself.
329
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,560
You know veterans!
330
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,400
Gentlemen, a word.
331
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,440
Have you any idea what this looks
like?
332
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,520
Girls, I have somewhere to go!
My friend's shop opening.
333
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,120
Please! Get away from him!
334
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,960
Barbara!
335
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,800
Thank God!
336
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,240
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you
so much for coming today
337
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,000
to welcome this new shop
to our high street.
338
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,040
It's so important to keep
our high streets alive.
339
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:09,560
Anne. Brian Ames. Sorry to keep you.
I got trapped in a swing.
340
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,040
Brian, don't be so selfish!
341
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,320
Today's not about us.
342
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:20,360
I declare this...eclectic new shop
open!
343
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,680
Three, two, one!
344
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,520
Jesus Christ! You can't call it
that!
345
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,560
We do, Brian! We cater
for everyone's special needs.
346
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,400
Lee! Shut your fucked-up mouth
and take a picture!
347
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,440
Not that - the knee! Get the knee!
348
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,160
She sells some lovely things!
349
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,200
I might buy a Beefy Lee!
350
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,400
I'm back in the office tomorrow,
if you'd like a tour.
351
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:13,440
And will you still have a swing
attached to your backside?
352
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,760
Thanks, Dan.
It's a well-good opening.
353
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,800
For a while, there, Brian convinced
me this whole shop idea was mental.
354
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,760
No!
355
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,160
You're not really going to America,
are you?
356
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,080
Yeah, I think I am.
357
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,360
I'm not sure how yet, but yeah.
358
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,400
You'll be back for weekends, though,
right?
359
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,440
Yes.
360
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,640
Thanks for the invite, Dan.
361
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,000
So, you and the knee off to America,
then, eh?
362
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,360
Flashy!
363
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,080
You'll miss the kids, though, right?
364
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,640
Will I, fuck!
365
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,680
Your mum's fella is odd.
366
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,320
He asked me to call him Daddy!
367
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,040
I told him, "Buy me a gin
and I'll call you what you like!"
368
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,440
Eeh, tha'
potty-mouthed women these days!
369
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,480
Thee's a disgrace!
Aye. Thee want locking up, lass!
370
00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:19,080
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