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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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What? You can't sleep?
3
00:00:09,392 --> 00:00:12,792
No, I have this terrible feeling we've forgotten something.
4
00:00:13,732 --> 00:00:16,957
Let's see: trash, locks, lights...
5
00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:24,117
oh well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow morning.
6
00:00:28,766 --> 00:00:31,285
Oh boy.
7
00:00:33,753 --> 00:00:37,202
Alright son...son, I think you've learned your lesson.
8
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Ok.
9
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Thanks, dad.
10
00:00:44,286 --> 00:00:45,932
We've got to stop doing this.
11
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Craig's dropping off my pay checks so I asked him to bring in the mail.
12
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I ??? think I need to cancel the Sunday paper.
13
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Someone is going to steal it anyway.
14
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Sounds like we've got nothing to worry about for the next 2 days but having fun.
15
00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:34,112
Mum, Dewey's gonna puke.
16
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Geez, He's done that 4 times.
17
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,932
I would think he'd be empty by now.
18
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We're almost there, honey.
19
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Just keep your head in the bucket.
20
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Just 10 more minutes and we'll get to spend a weekend on a real Indian reservation.
21
00:01:44,842 --> 00:01:45,742
Why do they have casinos?
22
00:01:46,224 --> 00:01:47,612
I don't know, son.
23
00:01:47,612 --> 00:01:48,872
I just thank god they do.
24
00:01:48,872 --> 00:01:51,592
Well the pool at this place just looks pretty good.
25
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You guys are gonna have a nice time.
26
00:01:53,202 --> 00:01:54,762
It's too bad Francis can't be here.
27
00:01:54,762 --> 00:01:56,432
Oh don't you feel bad for Francis.
28
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He's the one who got himself on academic probation.
29
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Francis isn't going anywhere this weekend.
30
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Richie, it's me.
31
00:02:03,282 --> 00:02:07,632
I ditch school, my family is away for the whole weekend so I've got the house to myself.
32
00:02:08,072 --> 00:02:10,962
Call Circus and Justin cos we're gonna PARTY!!!
33
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Sorry dude, they're in jail.
34
00:02:13,122 --> 00:02:14,042
You're kidding. Why?
35
00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:17,632
They got caught trying to steal the giant inflatable panther from the car lot.
36
00:02:18,032 --> 00:02:21,192
Oh man, that would have been great to have.
37
00:02:21,982 --> 00:02:23,082
But you'll come over, right?
38
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I'm not sure.
39
00:02:24,852 --> 00:02:26,332
This weekend is my intervention.
40
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How long do you think this is gonna take, mum?
41
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You better put me down as a "maybe".
42
00:02:40,284 --> 00:02:42,877
Oh man, did I buy a lot of pork rinds.
43
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,442
Oh hey, here we go.
44
00:02:47,662 --> 00:02:48,632
This is nice.
45
00:02:48,632 --> 00:02:49,222
I get the rollaway.
46
00:02:49,222 --> 00:02:50,442
I wanna sleep with Malcolm.
47
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,352
Cool, I get the big bed for myself.
48
00:02:52,352 --> 00:02:52,982
Not fair.
49
00:02:52,982 --> 00:02:54,312
If you get the big bed you get Dewey.
50
00:02:54,552 --> 00:02:55,912
That's not the way you called it, butthead.
51
00:02:55,912 --> 00:02:58,572
Now boys, I'm sure we can find a fair way to figure this out.
52
00:02:58,922 --> 00:03:00,322
Reese.
Malcolm, Dewey.
53
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:03,232
I'm taking a bath.
54
00:03:03,342 --> 00:03:05,552
If anybody's got to go, it's now or never.
55
00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:06,632
Can we go swimming, mum?
56
00:03:06,722 --> 00:03:07,382
Yeah, can we?
57
00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:09,442
And I think I'm going to take a quick look at the casino.
58
00:03:09,712 --> 00:03:11,382
Hal, you've got 2 days to gamble.
59
00:03:11,382 --> 00:03:14,432
Why don't you take the boys to the pool, bef...Hal?
60
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They don't do anything, they're just there...
61
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Hold it there, boys.
62
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No one under 16 is allowed in the pool without an adult.
63
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It's ok, they're with me.
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Sorry, no parent, no pool.
65
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,062
But that's ridiculous.
66
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We do know how to swim...
67
00:03:32,882 --> 00:03:35,072
Ok fine, we just go get my dad at the casino.
68
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Sorry, no kids allowed to the casino, either.
69
00:03:37,892 --> 00:03:40,082
I'm not gonna gamble, I just wanna get my dad.
70
00:03:40,082 --> 00:03:41,662
Look, I don't make the rules.
71
00:03:41,812 --> 00:03:43,682
You're just doing this because you hate kids.
72
00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:45,902
I'm really not, it's just a happy coincidence.
73
00:03:46,612 --> 00:03:48,982
Mum, they won't let us in the pool without an adult.
74
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What are we supposed to do?
75
00:03:50,382 --> 00:03:51,252
I don't know.
76
00:03:51,302 --> 00:03:52,712
Use your imagination.
77
00:03:52,892 --> 00:03:53,432
What?
78
00:03:53,622 --> 00:03:54,592
We're on vacation.
79
00:03:54,592 --> 00:03:56,342
Hey, there's dirt out there, isn't there?
80
00:03:56,582 --> 00:04:00,362
And rocks and lizards and I think a saw an old tire on the parking lot.
81
00:04:00,712 --> 00:04:04,302
There are kids in the world with a lot less than an old tire to play with.
82
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So I don't want to hear another word about it.
83
00:04:08,312 --> 00:04:09,672
Yeah it's great being home.
84
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,602
Catch me up, what's going on?
85
00:04:12,102 --> 00:04:14,052
Well, we had Salisbury steak for dinner.
86
00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:14,542
Yeah?
87
00:04:14,812 --> 00:04:15,652
With cream spinach?
88
00:04:16,082 --> 00:04:16,542
Uh huh.
89
00:04:16,872 --> 00:04:18,122
That's a great side dish.
90
00:04:18,212 --> 00:04:23,472
Now I know they use celery salt and vinegar with that but is that oregano that I taste or tarragon?
91
00:04:23,822 --> 00:04:25,305
Francis, I got to go.
92
00:04:25,305 --> 00:04:26,562
Alright fine, put Finley on.
93
00:04:26,902 --> 00:04:28,312
You already talked to him twice.
94
00:04:28,312 --> 00:04:30,192
Come on, we're playing pool and I'm up.
95
00:04:30,392 --> 00:04:32,362
Ok ok, play your stupid game.
96
00:04:32,502 --> 00:04:34,612
I've got some serious partying to do here anyway.
97
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,442
Yes, I win again.
98
00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:53,579
No fair, my goalie doesn't have any legs.
99
00:04:53,579 --> 00:04:54,692
Hey boys.
100
00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:56,112
Hey dad, how did you do?
101
00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:58,512
Well, you know Black Jack is a complicated game.
102
00:04:58,512 --> 00:05:00,222
You have your ups and your downs.
103
00:05:01,122 --> 00:05:02,582
So, who wants to buy me a coke?
104
00:05:03,007 --> 00:05:04,392
It's too bad you had to quit, dad.
105
00:05:04,392 --> 00:05:06,458
- That shoe is full of tens.
- Huh?
106
00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:08,117
Tens, face cards.
107
00:05:09,286 --> 00:05:10,824
Ok, there are six decks.
108
00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:14,803
They already played out eighteen 9s, 14 8s, 12 7s, but only 2 10s.
109
00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:17,370
A king of spades and a queen of diamonds which leaves...
110
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,567
well, you can do the maths.
111
00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:21,350
No, but YOU can.
112
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:25,187
And that's all that matters, my little genius.
113
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:04,127
Of course we're terribly sorry about this. But you have to believe that this was a momentary lack of judgment on my part.
114
00:06:04,127 --> 00:06:07,232
I realize now that using my son...
115
00:06:07,422 --> 00:06:09,082
Your underage son.
116
00:06:10,472 --> 00:06:14,722
Yeah, my underage son, to count cards was wrong.
117
00:06:15,612 --> 00:06:19,482
I guess I was just trying to look for an activity that the two of us can do together.
118
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,232
You know, it's a tough age.
119
00:06:21,232 --> 00:06:24,538
Yeah, and this is really helping my self-esteem.
120
00:06:24,538 --> 00:06:28,862
You see, I'm not really good at sports and this made me feel...special.
121
00:06:30,632 --> 00:06:31,902
My son and I cook.
122
00:06:32,712 --> 00:06:34,122
Uh, it's a good thought.
123
00:06:34,752 --> 00:06:35,412
We'll have to try that.
124
00:06:36,582 --> 00:06:39,272
In the meantime, you're banned from the casino.
125
00:06:40,322 --> 00:06:40,662
Banned?
126
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:44,262
Oh no no...you don't wanna do that.
127
00:06:45,032 --> 00:06:47,312
It just wouldn't go over so well with my wife.
128
00:06:47,482 --> 00:06:49,152
Believe me, you don't wanna see her angry.
129
00:06:49,722 --> 00:06:50,742
I'm not banning her.
130
00:06:51,572 --> 00:06:51,982
Just you.
131
00:06:52,942 --> 00:06:54,132
Ok, look.
132
00:06:54,342 --> 00:07:04,372
Let's just forget about these 3 grand I won, and just pretend it never happened?
133
00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:06,172
Capiche?
134
00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:09,127
It's very generous of you...
135
00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:13,122
You're still banned.
136
00:07:14,218 --> 00:07:14,714
What?
137
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,912
Alright, then give me my money back.
138
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:20,122
I'm sorry?
139
00:07:20,742 --> 00:07:21,362
What money?
140
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,812
Hey, look pal.
141
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,542
Who said anything about money?
142
00:07:35,942 --> 00:07:38,162
I tell you I'm not that impressed with this place.
143
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,662
They call that a breakfast buffet?
144
00:07:39,822 --> 00:07:41,142
Not a tangelo to be found.
145
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,492
What are you talking about?
146
00:07:42,492 --> 00:07:44,582
Didn't you see that teepee made entirely of sausage?
147
00:07:44,582 --> 00:07:45,832
It's incredible.
148
00:07:46,052 --> 00:07:47,592
I am going to die.
149
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,592
Why didn't anyone stop me?
150
00:07:50,192 --> 00:07:53,842
In our family, we take the phrase "all you can eat" as a personal challenge.
151
00:07:53,842 --> 00:07:54,952
I know what will cheer you up.
152
00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:56,572
Why don't we go gamble a little?
153
00:07:57,702 --> 00:07:58,500
Well now...
154
00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:02,102
who says that just because you're at a casino you have to gamble?
155
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,982
I'd rather spend some more time with my boys.
156
00:08:07,228 --> 00:08:09,852
Oh stop it, dad. Please stop.
157
00:08:09,932 --> 00:08:14,550
Hal, you made me sit for eight hours in that car listening to your foolproof system for winning at keno.
158
00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:15,902
Now you're telling me you don't want to gamble?
159
00:08:16,052 --> 00:08:19,692
We are surrounded by the great outdoors, Lois.
160
00:08:19,692 --> 00:08:21,492
I was thinking we might go out for a hike.
161
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,122
Ok, what have you done?
162
00:08:28,372 --> 00:08:29,172
What do you mean?
163
00:08:29,522 --> 00:08:30,792
Why are you avoiding the casino?
164
00:08:31,272 --> 00:08:34,429
Well sweetheart, we could sit here and I could tell you all about it
165
00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:36,232
and you might find it all very amusing.
166
00:08:36,842 --> 00:08:43,882
Or you could think about the fact that I'm offering to take the boys off your hands for the whole day.
167
00:08:45,342 --> 00:08:46,542
Don't forget the sun block.
168
00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:52,002
Alright, group.
169
00:08:52,802 --> 00:08:58,412
I just happened to find a brochure in the lobby for the old Adiablo ghost town
170
00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,882
just a 5 mile hike from here.
171
00:09:00,232 --> 00:09:01,342
What's a ghost town?
172
00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:02,552
What do you think it is?
173
00:09:02,682 --> 00:09:03,912
It's a town full of dead people.
174
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:05,532
Why can't we just go swimming?
175
00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:07,282
Oh, we can swim at home.
176
00:09:07,412 --> 00:09:07,882
Where?
177
00:09:08,532 --> 00:09:09,862
Come on, it will be fun.
178
00:09:10,362 --> 00:09:12,897
Look, they have a real working old tiny ice cream parlour
179
00:09:15,205 --> 00:09:16,012
WE`RE GOING.
180
00:10:31,725 --> 00:10:32,862
What are you doing here?
181
00:10:33,352 --> 00:10:34,812
Shouldn't you be in military school?
182
00:10:34,992 --> 00:10:36,962
Shouldn't you not be in my father's robe?
183
00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:39,402
That is neither here nor there.
184
00:10:40,302 --> 00:10:42,382
You are in big trouble, my friend.
185
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,602
I'm in trouble?
186
00:10:44,312 --> 00:10:46,062
Yes, big trouble.
187
00:10:48,102 --> 00:10:49,472
I'm telling your mother.
188
00:10:50,712 --> 00:10:50,962
No.
189
00:10:52,022 --> 00:10:53,402
I'm telling my mother.
190
00:11:03,282 --> 00:11:04,902
That's my toast.
191
00:11:05,782 --> 00:11:06,692
We'll split it.
192
00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:10,992
I don't it.
193
00:11:11,092 --> 00:11:13,502
The map says the ghost town is only half an inch away.
194
00:11:13,902 --> 00:11:15,282
Dad, we're lost.
195
00:11:15,872 --> 00:11:17,232
What sounds more idiotic?
196
00:11:17,582 --> 00:11:18,812
"Let's go to the desert, kids!"
197
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,082
Or "good idea, dad!"
198
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,532
Hi, mum.
199
00:11:22,842 --> 00:11:24,642
Dewey, what are you doing here?
200
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,172
I thought you went for a hike with your father.
201
00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:27,002
I couldn't.
202
00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:29,132
I don't like ghosts, they eat little boys.
203
00:11:29,392 --> 00:11:30,222
That's ridiculous.
204
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:31,662
There's no such thing as ghosts.
205
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,922
Except for that one that will get you if you go up on the roof.
206
00:11:34,222 --> 00:11:36,235
Come on, you're too young to be in a casino.
207
00:11:39,792 --> 00:11:41,342
Oh, maybe I'll turn in my free spin.
208
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:47,222
That's right lady, nobody goes home a loser.
(Oh God, I'm ruined!)
209
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:49,142
Ok, let's give it a whirl.
210
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:02,572
Wow, look at that. You have won our champagne dreams package for two.
211
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:06,452
An entire day of his and her spa treatment followed by an evening with dinner and dancing.
212
00:12:06,552 --> 00:12:07,732
Well that's just perfect.
213
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,982
My husband's out on a hike and we're leaving tomorrow.
214
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:11,122
Relax, lady.
215
00:12:11,192 --> 00:12:12,359
It's good for 6 months.
216
00:12:12,359 --> 00:12:13,832
6 months?
217
00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:18,492
I had to work 6 months all overtime in a crummy drugstore just to pay for this trip.
218
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,932
Have you ever had to recommend a haemorroid cream to a complete stranger?
219
00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:24,311
Do you want the prize or not?
220
00:12:31,643 --> 00:12:33,932
You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.
221
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:35,202
Tell me about it.
222
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,503
Alright, now listen. Come on, let's just all get our bearings here.
223
00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:41,842
Alright, here's the sun. What is it telling us?
224
00:12:42,082 --> 00:12:42,922
That it's hot.
225
00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:45,222
Hey, is that a fence over there?
226
00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:47,462
By god, you're right.
227
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,762
See, I told you we weren't lost.
228
00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:50,172
Then where are we?
229
00:12:50,852 --> 00:12:51,702
By the fence.
230
00:12:52,312 --> 00:12:53,822
This is a sure sign of civilization.
231
00:12:53,822 --> 00:12:54,502
I say we go in.
232
00:12:54,612 --> 00:12:55,502
Come on. Come on.
233
00:13:00,252 --> 00:13:01,302
Wait a minute.
234
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:04,792
What if we're already in and instead of going in we're actually going out?
235
00:13:05,322 --> 00:13:07,922
Son, sometimes the genius thing gets a little annoying.
236
00:13:08,202 --> 00:13:10,942
Come on; let's just keep thinking positive thoughts.
237
00:13:16,188 --> 00:13:17,632
Listen to that.
238
00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:18,382
That's a plane.
239
00:13:19,677 --> 00:13:23,096
Help! Help! Here, we need help!
240
00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,913
Oh, we're lost! Oh, for the love of God, help us!
241
00:13:26,913 --> 00:13:27,731
Oh, shall we?
242
00:13:44,538 --> 00:13:45,841
I can't believe this.
243
00:13:45,841 --> 00:13:48,652
I bought my own bus ticket home to spend the whole weekend with you.
244
00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:50,292
I hear you.
245
00:13:51,192 --> 00:13:52,652
It's a shame you had to spend your own money.
246
00:13:53,622 --> 00:13:55,992
I discovered a way you can travel for free through the Internet.
247
00:13:56,312 --> 00:13:58,472
What? Hacking into the airline's reservation system?
248
00:13:58,632 --> 00:13:59,642
No, that's illegal.
249
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:03,732
I go to a chat room and pretend to be a really hot 18-old year girl.
250
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:05,252
I'm Debbie.
251
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,722
Blond, naive and I love to wear sundresses.
252
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:11,302
Right now I'm having a lot of problems at home.
253
00:14:12,262 --> 00:14:13,302
Dad's so mean.
254
00:14:14,698 --> 00:14:16,142
I'm going through all these changes.
255
00:14:16,902 --> 00:14:18,702
All these strange new feelings.
256
00:14:18,702 --> 00:14:19,752
He just doesn't under...
257
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:20,482
The free travel?
258
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:21,342
Right.
259
00:14:22,092 --> 00:14:23,362
Debbie goes to this chat room.
260
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,432
She gets really friendly with some lonely guy.
261
00:14:25,882 --> 00:14:27,832
Before long he's willing to pay for a visit.
262
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,782
Right now I'm sitting on a ticket to Tampa.
263
00:14:31,452 --> 00:14:34,572
But you make sure he buys Debbie full fare coach with no restriction.
264
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,112
She may look good in thong, but she's no dummy.
265
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:40,282
Sweet.
266
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:43,102
I'm thirsty.
267
00:14:43,372 --> 00:14:47,442
Yeah, we would have water if some idiot hadn't used it to write SOS in the sand.
268
00:14:47,442 --> 00:14:48,132
Oh I see.
269
00:14:48,312 --> 00:14:51,182
You people let me carry the water and all of the sudden I'm an idiot.
270
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:52,932
Malcolm, Reese, relax.
271
00:14:52,972 --> 00:14:54,212
We've got nothing to worry about.
272
00:14:54,212 --> 00:14:55,512
Everything's gonna be fine.
273
00:14:56,092 --> 00:14:58,662
I just want you to know that I love you boys very much.
274
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:00,913
He keeps saying this.
275
00:15:02,212 --> 00:15:04,212
Oh great, now I'm hallucinating.
276
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:05,082
I see a cougar.
277
00:15:05,742 --> 00:15:06,702
Don't be stupid.
278
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:08,032
That's a puma.
279
00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:24,903
Ok, everybody ok?
280
00:15:24,903 --> 00:15:26,719
Yeah, I think so.
281
00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:28,162
Oh my god, where's Dewey?
282
00:15:28,732 --> 00:15:29,532
Oh my god.
283
00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:30,872
Oh my god!!!
284
00:15:30,942 --> 00:15:32,562
He's back in the hotel.
285
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:33,832
Ok then.
286
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,452
Everything is fine.
287
00:15:35,832 --> 00:15:37,562
Dad, a cougar just blew up.
288
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,912
I meant besides that.
289
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,182
That's not good.
290
00:15:40,442 --> 00:15:42,042
Cougars just don't blow up.
291
00:15:43,352 --> 00:15:46,562
As near as I can figure, I did it with my mind.
292
00:15:46,922 --> 00:15:48,822
Reese, that's insane.
293
00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:51,332
I wouldn't talk to me like that if I were you.
294
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,234
Okay, there must be some explanation.
295
00:15:53,761 --> 00:15:57,922
Okay, it could have been caused by a blasting cap left by a miner although the explosion was much too big.
296
00:15:58,489 --> 00:16:00,912
Perhaps the cougar ate some dynamite.
297
00:16:01,582 --> 00:16:02,722
That's ridiculous.
298
00:16:03,312 --> 00:16:05,520
Maybe it's just a mirage,
299
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,752
although a mirage usually doesn't ends up all over your shoes.
300
00:16:08,752 --> 00:16:10,792
Which leads me back to the Reese thing.
301
00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:13,042
I accept your apology.
302
00:16:13,952 --> 00:16:15,753
Oh, that feels so good.
303
00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:20,774
I mean you read about celebrities going to spas and enjoy these kinds of treatments, but
304
00:16:20,774 --> 00:16:24,762
you marry young, you start spitting out kids, you can kiss that kind of thing goodbye.
305
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,212
Don't eat the cucumber slices, honey.
306
00:16:28,432 --> 00:16:29,052
Ok.
307
00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:34,222
M, Z, R, Y, C... nice try.
308
00:16:34,222 --> 00:16:35,052
What's that supposed to mean?
309
00:16:35,592 --> 00:16:36,042
Mzryc.
310
00:16:36,322 --> 00:16:37,342
It's another military term.
311
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:39,332
You know, the helmets that horses wear.
312
00:16:39,822 --> 00:16:42,022
Oh, right right right...this is nice.
313
00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:46,042
Hanging out on a Saturday playing scrabble, couple of guys relaxing.
314
00:16:46,812 --> 00:16:47,852
So your folks get along ok?
315
00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:48,252
What?
316
00:16:48,612 --> 00:16:48,922
Nothing.
317
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:50,262
Here we go.
318
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:51,472
Read it and weep.
319
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,722
C, A, T...hey that's 2 cats for you, that's great,
320
00:16:55,942 --> 00:16:57,612
Just playing the tiles I'm dealt.
321
00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:02,902
So, uh, you pick up any bad vibes here on the home front, you let me know, right?
322
00:17:03,412 --> 00:17:03,672
Why?
323
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:06,712
Hey, take it easy cowboy, just making small talk.
324
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,602
Ok, I guess they're doing fine.
325
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,182
She's a strong little lady that mother of yours.
326
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:15,722
Sure we have our moments at work, but you can't stay mad at this woman for long.
327
00:17:16,332 --> 00:17:17,302
You don't have to live with her.
328
00:17:17,692 --> 00:17:18,902
You just don't understand her.
329
00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:20,222
What's to understand?
330
00:17:20,222 --> 00:17:21,542
She's a total control freak.
331
00:17:23,072 --> 00:17:25,482
Maybe she doesn't get the support she needs here at home.
332
00:17:25,842 --> 00:17:28,832
I wouldn't know since she sent me to military school.
333
00:17:28,962 --> 00:17:30,952
Because you're a spoiled brat.
334
00:17:31,422 --> 00:17:34,312
And I'm pretty sure that mzryc ends in a k.
335
00:17:34,926 --> 00:17:36,572
Look. It's a house!
336
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,542
Yes, come on!
337
00:17:44,902 --> 00:17:45,492
Hello?
338
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:46,782
Hello?
339
00:17:47,462 --> 00:17:48,602
They're sitting at the table.
340
00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:49,702
They're just ignoring us.
341
00:17:49,942 --> 00:17:51,492
Because they think we're trying to sell them something.
342
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,622
Hey we're lost, a cougar exploded.
343
00:17:54,622 --> 00:17:55,813
Can we use your phone?
344
00:17:56,952 --> 00:18:00,666
Sorry, we hate to barge in but this is kind of an emergency...
345
00:18:04,195 --> 00:18:05,378
Well, this is a little weird.
346
00:18:08,902 --> 00:18:10,782
Ok, I just figured this out.
347
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,164
Run!!!
348
00:18:19,573 --> 00:18:21,749
We are on an artillery range.
349
00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:23,232
That's why the cougar blew up.
350
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:24,359
It was hit by a shell!
351
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:25,261
Are you sure?
352
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,000
Pretty sure.
353
00:19:39,348 --> 00:19:43,652
Of course we're terribly sorry about this and we realize that fences are there for a reason.
354
00:19:43,652 --> 00:19:47,892
However, in fairness, when we climbed the fence we weren't sure if we were going in or out.
355
00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,252
You wanna explain the theory, son?
356
00:19:49,692 --> 00:19:50,152
Not really.
357
00:19:50,864 --> 00:19:52,792
This is a highly classified testing ground.
358
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,192
And I could very easily detain the three of you indefinitely for national security reasons.
359
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:58,612
You know what nobody has mentioned?
360
00:19:59,142 --> 00:20:01,218
That this is supposed to be the greatest army in the world,
361
00:20:01,627 --> 00:20:03,422
and you couldn't even kill the three of us.
362
00:20:04,042 --> 00:20:06,102
I've got to tell you, I'm not impressed.
363
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,722
Well, the great thing about this trip is,
364
00:20:10,722 --> 00:20:13,067
the next time I hear we can't afford to go on a vacation
365
00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:14,789
I think I'll be ok with it.
366
00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:19,372
I trust everything went well for you and your handsome gentleman friend.
367
00:20:19,372 --> 00:20:21,252
He is handsome, isn't he?
368
00:20:22,367 --> 00:20:23,352
Can I have some ice cream?
369
00:20:23,392 --> 00:20:24,842
You can have anything you want.
370
00:20:24,842 --> 00:20:28,832
Tonight is our special night.
371
00:20:32,728 --> 00:20:33,242
Hello?
372
00:20:33,242 --> 00:20:33,482
Dewey?
373
00:20:33,952 --> 00:20:34,982
Oh thank god.
374
00:20:35,612 --> 00:20:38,868
Look, I only get to make one call so put your mother on so she can come get us.
375
00:20:43,538 --> 00:20:44,174
Who was that?
376
00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:45,648
Wrong number.
377
00:20:55,259 --> 00:20:55,914
Thank you.
378
00:21:00,515 --> 00:21:01,572
My foot is killing me.
379
00:21:02,117 --> 00:21:04,012
Oh, let's be brave soldiers, boys.
380
00:21:04,851 --> 00:21:08,522
We might get there after dark but we've got plenty of water and we'll be ok.
381
00:21:09,571 --> 00:21:11,472
Tell us the story again, dad. Please.
382
00:21:11,842 --> 00:21:12,672
Yeah, yeah.
383
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:14,402
Alright, one last time.
384
00:21:15,582 --> 00:21:18,572
Dewey is tied to a post in the burning sun.
385
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,982
He's covered entirely in honey.
386
00:21:21,872 --> 00:21:22,572
Even his eyes?
387
00:21:23,232 --> 00:21:24,253
Even his eyes.
388
00:21:24,922 --> 00:21:27,528
Oh oh, what's that behind him?
389
00:21:27,528 --> 00:21:29,413
A million fire ants!
390
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,363
Hungry fire ants!
391
00:21:31,363 --> 00:21:35,462
With sharp little mandibles and itchy feet...
392
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,139
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