All language subtitles for Magnum P.I. s01e04 Thank Heaven For Little Girls, And Big.eng

You can't just turn five
helplessly stranded little girls out into the night.

- Bah, humbug.
- Higgins!

Don't touch it! It's a very sensitive alarm!
[ Alarm Blaring ]

- [ Gasps ]
- [ Barking ]

- There is just no limit
to their imaginations. - There's a girl here to see you.

If she's under 1 6,
I don't wanna know.

Magnum!

- We gave you some really rotten leads.
- If you'd given him a decent lead,

he would've have blown it higher
than a Chinese firecracker.

- Come on, buddy. This is serious.
- I said they ain't here.

But if they do come in, I'll be sure
to tell them you had to leave.

Where'd we park the car?
I don't know. I'm following you.

Higgins and I do this all the time.

It's sort of a game.
A game?

My girls are kidnapped.!
They might die.!

- Five little girls are going to die
unless I deliver that Gauguin. - Who's he?

[ Magnum ] Ask T.C.
Oh, no. Don't ask me nothing.

- I can explain this
whole misunderstanding. - No, you can't.

??[ Classical ]

Aah!
[ Barking ]

[ Barking Continues ]
[ Magnum ] Higgins.!

Higgins.! Higgins.!

Higgins.! Higgins.!

[ Barking Continues ]

Higgins.!

What are they doing
in the wine cellar?

Obviously, protecting the wine
from intruders.

I am not an intruder.
I'm a guest.

Guests eventually leave.
Until I do--

You will settle
for the vintages I select.

October?

??[ Continues ]

Higgins, the wine cellar
is one of the few places left on the estate,

besides the bathroom,
that I can go without fear of my life.

An oversight on my part,
now rectified by my upgraded level of security.

Upgraded level of security
to keep me out of the wine cellar?

Well, there is Mr. Masters's
latest acquisition.

What? The Christmas tree?

Higgins, that's a Gauguin.
Yes.

- Perhaps there's hope for you after all.
- [ Phone Ringing ]

What's it worth?
Two million.

Dollars or pounds?

Marks. Yes, Mr. Masters.

Uh, this is Chan's Laundry.
Is Mr. Magnum there, please?

Mr. Masters's private number
is not to be given out to tradesmen.

- Hello?
- Thomas, it's Rick.

If Higgins finds out I got this number,
he's gonna freak out.

- I told him I was your laundryman.
- My what?

Never mind. Just listen.
A female called on your line, and she wants to hire you.

Uh, no, no.
That's heavy starch on the shirts and light on the shorts.

That's really cute. Now look.

Be at the state capitol building
by 3:00, and she'll approach you.

Now wait--
[ Line Disconnects ]

You starch your undershorts?

Doesn't everybody?

??[ Bells Chiming Christmas Tune ]

[ Magnum Narrating ]
I pride myself on being able to pick out clients,

but this time I was stumped.

All I saw were camera-loaded tourists
taking dozens of pictures...

of the same thing.

??[ Continues ]

Hi.

You with that group over there?

It's really funny.
They must have taken 50 pictures of that statue.

Fifty pictures-- Hi.

This is only the second time
I've been here.

- Are you girls waiting for someone?
- Thomas Magnum?

- Yeah.
- Good. We were afraid you might not show.

You're the ones who want to hire
a private investigator?

Look, if you're worried about
getting paid for this gig, it's okay. We've taken care of all that.

[ Girl ]
He'll never be able to do it. Do what?

- Find her.
- Find who?

- This is a drag.
- No, wait. I just don't know what you're talking about.

We're here from Vermont
for the holidays, and we lost our teacher.

You lost your teacher?

I told you he'd
never be able to do it.

I hate for the younger ones
to know about this.

- They're so impressionable, you know?
- Yeah, right.

Our teacher is a real--

Well, she kind of falls in love easy.

It doesn't take her long
to choose from the menu, if you get my drift.

- I get your drift.
- Quit whispering, Nancy.

We all know
what you're talking about.

Miss Booton got the hots
for some beach bum and split with him for an overnight.

Lesli.
You're telling me...

your teacher
who brought you here...

went off with some stranger,
and left you little kids stranded?

Not really.
She said she'd be back tomorrow night.

But our headmaster phoned,
and he's coming in...

tomorrow morning at 9:00
to spend Christmas with us.

We have to find her
before he gets here.

Or she'll be in big trouble.

Well, she should be in big trouble!

She shouldn't be punished
for her passion.

We'll stay with you
till you find Miss Booton.

- Stay with me?
- We checked out of our hotel.

We're paying you
with the deposit refund.

Yeah, but I didn't even decide
to take the case yet.

Come on, Nancy.
He won't be able to do anything.

You don't even know
where your teacher went. It could take days.

I'd like to help you guys out,
but I don't know--

Well, it is Christmas.

Never! This estate
is for Robin Masters's guests,

not your... clients.

[ Magnum ]
Higgins, it's just for tonight. I promise...

I'll have them out in the morning,
as soon as I find their teacher.

- No.
- Come on, Higgins. It's the holidays.

It's a time for giving and sharing.
Right, kids?

You can't just turn
five helplessly stranded little girls out into the night.

- Bah, humbug.
- Higgins.

- The wine cellar.
- The wine cellar?

- I don't want you in it.
- October wasn't my favorite vintage anyway.

- And I want them out of here
first thing in the morning. - Of course.

[ Girls ]
All right!

Can I still use the kitchen?
For now.

Thank you very much.
You're quite welcome.

Is Magnum married, Huggins?

It's Higgins.

[ Magnum Narrating ]
All I had for clues was the lady's overnight case,

a couple of phone numbers
the girls had found in her room...

and a very rough description
of the guy she went off with.

I had a long night ahead of me,
but, then, so did Higgins.

As long as you're staying here,

there are certain rules
and regulations to obey.

First, you will be restricted
to the second floor guest quarters.

Unless, of course,
you need to use the lavatory facilities.

Those are located
at the end of the hall.

Higgins, who painted this?
Gauguin. Don't touch it!

There's a very sensitive...
[ Alarm Blaring ]

alarm!

[ Alarm Off]

I'm sorry.
I just wanted to feel the brushstrokes.

Don't ever touch
that painting again, ever.

Don't even go near it.
[ Dogs Chomping ]

Zeus, Apollo, what's wrong, lads?

Something's stuck
in their mouths.

Darlene probably fed them gumdrops.

That's usually what does it.

Gumdrops?

I told you not to touch that!

It's crooked.
I was just trying to straighten it.

I don't care if it's upside down.
It's not to be touched.

Nothing on this estate
is to be touched. Is that understood? Nothing!

Okay, okay.

- Lighten up, will you, Huggins?
- Higgins.

We may have some trouble
with that little guy.

Nah, he'll be okay.

We got him so riled up
that he'll probably be exhausted.

And that means he'll sleep well.
What have we got?

The only alarm
is a sensitivity mechanism in the back of the painting.

The switch is on the right-hand wall,
behind the drapes.

What about the dogs?
Good.

Mother Goose,
this is Rubber Duck.

We're in the nest.

There's one alarm.
We've located the switch.

Got it.

[ Rick ]
I still can't believe the voice on the phone was a kid.

That must have been Melissa.
She's very grown up for her age.

""St. Helen's Preparatory School
for Girls. Fall Directory.''

These are your clients?
Yep.

Uh, that's the one right there
who gave me all these numbers.

"Nancy Semko, class of 1982."

Hey, Thomas, they've got
some pretty heavyweight students enrolled in here.

It says here that Nancy's pop
is the head of Bunker Industries.

Yeah, I know.
I think I'm gonna have to run down this address.

This isn't exactly
the high-rent district.

If you go down there,
I suggest you bring a gun or an alligator on a leash.

Rick, I am looking
for a schoolteacher, not a gorilla.

I know that, you know that,
but they don't know that down there.

So I'll tell them.
Hi, T.C. Wanna go to dinner?

Man, you said ""dinner.''
You didn't say the ""Last Supper.''

We're not gonna eat here.
I'm gonna take you someplace nice.

If we ain't gonna eat here,
what the hell we doing here?

I know what it is.
It's another one of your crazy cases, isn't it?

No, it isn't.
Hey, look, don't forget--

You called me.
I didn't call you.

T.C., it is nothing dangerous,
believe me.

??[ Christmas Instrumental ]

Of all the classy restaurants
in Honolulu,

you drag me down here
to a joint like this.

Will you just bear with me?
I am trying to find someone.

Hi there.
I wonder if you can help me.

Beer or whiskey?
Actually we don't want anything to drink.

Except, maybe, a couple beers.

I'm looking for a short,
blonde lady, about 28.

She was with a husky Hawaiian,
beachcomber type.

That'll be five dollars.

- For the beer or the information?
- Don't sound too familiar.

Would another beer
make it sound more familiar?

Sorry, buddy.
No one like her has been in here with a guy like that.

Now, wait a minute.
What about this, uh-- this address?

That's Mano's place, upstairs.

I don't think you're gonna
find a lady in there.

Yeah. Well, thanks anyway...

for the beer.

[ Ringing ]

Yeah?

Nah, he ain't here tonight.
He's out with Roxanne.

Why? What's up?

Oh, yeah?
When did they leave your place?

I think they just
came through the door.

This is Saigon Suzie's, man.
No, it isn't.

- Oh, yes, it is.
- Thanks for the tip.

This place doesn't
even have a jukebox. Come on.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
I'm trying to find someone.

They ain't here.
I didn't ask you who yet.

I don't care.
They ain't here.

This is a short, blonde lady
with a Hawaiian, kind of a lifeguard type.

- Saigon Suzie's.
- Look, I said they ain't here.

But if they do come in,
I'll be sure to tell them you had to leave... abruptly.

Come on, buddy.
This is serious.

I mean,
somebody's life could be in dan-- Will you stop that?

I am trying to tell this man--

Saigon Suzie's?
Mm-hmm.

Hey, fellas,
we didn't mean any offense.

Come on, buddy. Come on--

Where'd we park the car?
I don't know! I'm following you!

Oh!

You don't remember
where you parked the car, do you?

Of course I remember
where I parked the car. Mm-hmm.

See?

Come on.
Let's get this thing going. They'll never catch us in this.

I can't start the car
till I clear the alarm.

Why'd you set the alarm?
Why'd I set the alarm? Look around you.

[ Man On Phone ]
Hey, Mano, two guys just blew through here. They tore this place apart.

I'm pretty sure they're private heat.
They had that look, you know?

He said he was looking for a Hawaiian
hanging out with a blonde chick.

Sounds a lot like your new prize.

I told you to be careful with that one.

Find out who they are
and what they want.

Done.

What's wrong?

You tell me.

All right.

Would you mind telling me
about this lady we almost got killed over?

Her name is Linda Booton,
and I have to find her...

before the headmaster
flies in tomorrow.

- Say what?
- The headmaster from St. Helen's.

Look, I got a call from this client.

Actually, I didn't get the call.
Rick got the call.

He told me to meet this woman
at the state capitol building, which is what I did.

Only when I got there,
this woman turned out...

to be five little girls from Vermont
who'd lost their schoolteacher.

That's Linda.
See but, she really wasn't lost.

She just took up with
a Hawaiian beach bum for the night.

Anyway, like they said,

she shouldn't
be punished for her passion, so I took the case.

- Let me out.
- What?

Let me out!

T.C., I think
you're overreacting.

I always do when I'm riding around
with a lunatic.

Wait. T.C.!

You know what?
You're crazy, boy. You are stone crazy.

Stone crazy out your mind.
I'm crazy for riding with you.

I don't think it's safe
to leave you in this part of town, T.C.

Hey, T.C., come on back.

We'll eat at the Blue Lagoon!

On me!

[ Magnum Narrating ]
If T.C. didn't want to eat at the Blue Lagoon,

then he was really mad.

Oh, well.
He probably wouldn't want to follow up my next lead anyway.

just look at you.
Every time that boy calls,

you're the one that winds up
with your behind in the fire.

Getting into a damn fight
in a room full of Mr. Universes.

Man, you must be out your mind.

[ Magnum Narrating ]
I did a little thinking after T.C. left...

and decided the clues
that the girls had given me weren't really clues,

but ways to shorten
my life expectancy. ??[ Christmas Instrumental ]

Going back to their hotel
was my only hope.

Hi.

"Fruit of Passion. '"
I didn't know Robin Masters wrote agronomy novels.

Huh?
Uh, Miss Linda Booton.

She checked in about three days ago
with five little girls.

Yeah?

You remember them?
Not for five lousy bucks.

Well, kind of.

Do you remember
Miss Booton's boyfriend?

He's a big, Hawaiian lifeguard type.
He might've picked her up here.

Mmm. Yeah, maybe.

How about a license number
or a telephone number she might've called,

or some messages,
something that might lead me to her?

Yeah, I think so.

For another five,
I can give you a number that'd take you right to her.

I'd have to write a check.

Room 2 409.
She's been in all night.

I could've had that for nothing.

[ Magnum Narrating ]
So far, this case had cost me my right to the wine cellar,

the last cash in my pocket
and nearly my life.

If that clerk was lying to me,
I was gonna come back down here...

and shove that Robin Masters
paperback in his ear.

[ Woman ]
Who is it? Miss Booton?

Who is it?
Thomas Magnum.

I think I have something of yours.

Come in.

Oh, those little brats!

Boy, they've really
outdone themselves this time.

A beachboy.

At Easter in Yellowstone
it was a forest ranger.

And at Thanksgiving in New York
it was a cab driver.

Where are their parents?

They're spread out
all over the world.

Some of them
are too isolated to get together with them at holidays.

And the rest of them
would just rather pay me to take care of them.

So these little girls just
make up these stories about you running off with some man?

Isn't that something?

There is just no limit
to their imagination.

If you really were here,
aren't you worried about them?

- It's almost midnight.
- That late?

Yes, it is.
You'd think you'd want to check up on them.

Those kids have been
running around loose since this afternoon.

Wait a minute.
I'm sorry that you got dragged into this,

but don't come in here
and start telling me how I should take care of them.

They told me that
they were spending the day...

and having dinner
with the governor's daughter.

A limo actually...
picked them up at 2:00. [ Ringing ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

- Your phone's ringing.
- Hello.

No, this isn't Nancy,
but Merry Christmas to you too.

The wrong number.

Well, Nancy, is it a go?

I think so.

- [ Magnum ]
How long have you been teaching art? - Three years.

Really?
You ought to see the Gauguin that Robin Masters just bought.

I think you'd really like it.

Gauguin. Sure I would.

Does my driving bother you?
No.

You seem nervous.
No, you're a great driver.

You drive great.

Well, some people don't like
to be taken for a ride.

Anyway, ever since
we got the Gauguin, Higgins--

he kind of runs the place--
he's really tightened security.

The place is harder to get into
than a safe.

I'd certainly hope so.

But you know what
Houdini used to say about safes, don't you?

No, not right offhand.

He said they're easier
to break out of than into.

Oh, really?
Houdini said that?

Houdini.

[ Girls Whispering ]

- Hi, guys.
- Miss Booton.

First of all,
please don't be mad at the girls.

They were really only trying
to help me out.

Second of all,

that Gauguin is a fake.

- Remarkable. She's even
better than you are. - No, really, it's a fake.

We weren't trying to steal the Gauguin.
We were trying to return it.

How'd you ever find her?

- We gave you some really rotten leads.
- That's how.

- Higgins!
- If you'd given him a decent lead,

he would've blown it higher
than a Chinese firecracker.

- I caught the girls.
- Who wouldn't have been here in the first place...

had it not been for
your incredible gullibility.

I'm calling the police.
They can hold you until we find out which is the original.

Oh, no, please, Mr. Higgins.

If you involve the police,
you're gonna bring unwarranted publicity...

to some very prominent families,

including Mr. Masters.

You should be able to tell
which is the original.

Assuming that
you're telling the truth,

what were you doing with the original
in the first place?

It all started when my younger sister
was accepted at the Sorbonne in Paris.

Oh, please,
no soap opera sob stories.

It's not a soap opera.
My parents couldn't afford it.

But she is unbelievably talented,
and I'd do anything to see her go.

So I made a deal with someone
to get enough money so she could.

And I thought you'd have
a flimsy excuse.

- What kind of a deal?
- I authenticate paintings.

Mostly Impressionists.

The art collector
that sold the Gauguin to Robin Masters...

offered me a lot of money
to make a copy of the original,

then authenticate the copy
and give the original back to him.

It's his most prized painting.
Really, I think he'd rather die than give it up.

- So you committed a crime.
- No!

- Well, not totally.
- Oh?

You're only a thief
if you're not caught, huh?

But I didn't go through with it.
When it came right down to it,

I couldn't give him back
the original.

But by then,
the fake had been shipped here.

So you're telling me that...

this whole story about you
and the beach bum...

and them with their crazy
little imaginations...

was just used to get them
into the estate?

That was our idea.

Amazing.
This is the original.

There! You see? I told you!
Now everything is okay.

No, everything is not okay.
You and these five urchins are involved...

- in a very serious crime.
- Urchins?

Hey, cool it, Higgins.
I told you the plan was our idea.

- I'm calling the police.
- Why? What for?

You've got your painting back.

Why get five little girls into trouble
for trying to return something?

I'm reporting you.

If she goes, we go.

At least Huggins let us go.

Why doesn't that make me
feel better?

You'd feel okay if Magnum
hadn't been such a spoilsport about the whole thing.

But I'm afraid he was right.
We were committing a crime.

Well, it worked, almost.
[ Gasps ]

Almost doesn't count,
does it, Miss Booton?

[ Girl ]
Uh-oh.

What's a four-letter word
for ""young girl''?

""Brat.''

""Brat.''
Mahalo.

Doesn't fit.
It does in my book.

It doesn't in my puzzle.
Then what'd you ask me for?

Pardon me.
I should've known better than to bother you...

while you're eating
your breakfast in a club that you're not a member of.

I'm sorry.
I've just been up all night. I'm tired.

I think they call that
an occupational hazard.

No, they don't.
It's called being suckered by five little girls.

[ Intercom Buzzes ]

Yeah?
[ Moki ] There's this girl here to see Magnum.

Is he there?
There's a girl here to see you.

If she's under 1 6,
I don't wanna know.

Who is it?
I don't know, but she sounds like a client.

In that case, send her up.
""Send her up''?

Rick, come on.
She's a potential client, and you could use the business.

I can use finishing my breakfast
in peace.

You can use the bucks. Bye.
Wait a minute.

Oh, no!
The girls have been kidnapped.

Wait. Let me guess.
The kidnapper wants to exchange...

the fake girls for the original--
Stop it!

This is not a joke!
Did you call the police?

No, he said he'd kill them
if I did that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

We've got to do something fast,
or they're gonna die of heat exhaustion.

Of what?
He called a half hour ago.

He said he had them locked up
in a place where the temperature...

would get to be 1 30 degrees
by noon.

That's only three hours from now!

That's very good.
Have you ever considered taking up acting?

I am so unlike the person
you are seeing right now.

I sound like a complete fruitcake.
I know it.

I have a master's degree
from Brown University.

I'm a Phi Beta Kappa.
But look at me! Look at me!

I'm being chased by hoods.
My girls are kidnapped. They might die!

Hey, Linda, come on.
I'm a good, honest person.

I've never done anything
like this before.

I don't believe this is happening!
Now wait. Calm down.

Tell me what happened.

I'm sorry.
Who kidnapped them?

The art collector
I switched the paintings for.

But you canceled that deal.
I told you.

He never would've sold the painting
if he'd thought he actually had to give it up.

He was waiting with a gun last night
when we got back to the room.

He took the girls,
and he said if he didn't get the Gauguin back--

Wait a minute.
Nothing is going to happen to them.

Nothing's gonna happen.

I'll get the fake from Higgins,
and we'll give it to the kidnapper.

If it fooled Higgins,
it can fool him.

- I threw it away.
- You threw it--

You threw away
that beautiful fake?

Madam, please, control yourself.

Control myself? How could you
throw that painting away? Linda--

Boy, you really beat all--
Linda, come here.

Look, Higgins and I
do this all the time.

It's sort of a game.

A game?
My girls may be dying, and you're playing a game?

You're not going to get
anything from him this way.

just trust me.

Higgins, we really do need
that fake Gauguin. This is an emergency.

Somebody has kidnapped the girls.

He has my wholehearted sympathy.

This isn't funny.
They're in danger. just give me the fake.

- I threw it away.
- Oh, come on!

You're just trying to buy time
to think up some sort of a deal.

What's it going to be this time?
The car? My bed?

- My firstborn male child? What?
- I'm buying no such thing.

- I threw that cheap imitation away.
- Then we're gonna have to take the original.

- That's not amusing, Magnum.
- Higgins, five little girls are going to die...

unless I deliver that Gauguin
to the person who's holding them.

I don't care
what that's worth in cash,

but I can't believe
that you think it's worth...

those little girls' lives.!

Or do you?

[ Man ]
There he is.

There'd better be
a kidnapper, Magnum. There's a kidnapper, Higgins.

- Because if there isn't--
- [ Linda ] There is a kidnapper, Higgins.

I'm sweating.

We're all sweating.
But I hate sweating.

Darlene.

I'm scared.
I have to sing when I'm scared.

Melissa, it's important that
we try and conserve our energy.

I wonder how hot it is.
I bet it's over 1 50 degrees.

- That's hot enough to cook a turkey.
- Carolyn.

[ Higgins ]
Don't think you're going to get away with this outrageous scheme.

[ Magnum ]
It's not an outrageous scheme. Would you just shut up?

Once this is over,
there's going to be a whole new set of rules at the estate.

Higgins--
[ Linda ] Can't you drive any faster?

You can no longer
come and go as you please. Higgins--

No longer be allowed
in the main house.

[ Man ]
Okay, let's take them down.

[ Higgins ]
You'll no longer use any of the facilities.

No more of your guests
will be allowed on the premises.

You cannot use the phone.

I think it's time we switched
driving partners.

[ Rumbling ]

- What was that?
- It's the volcano.

It's going to explode
like Mount St. Helens.

Diamond Head
is a dead volcano.

I bet that's what they said
about Mount St. Helens.

I'm scared.

just be quiet, Melissa.
Try to think happy thoughts.

[ Melissa ]
? On the first day of Christmas?

? My true love gave to me ?

? A partridge in a pear tree ?

- ? On the second day of Christmas-- ?
- Melissa.

? On the second day of Christmas-- ?
Melissa.

I have to go to the bathroom.

?Five golden rings?

? Four calling birds
three French hens ?

? Two turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree ?

[ Door Opens ]

Welcome to the party, Thomas.

- Are you in charge here?
- Who's he?

- He's the butler.
- I am not the butler.

I'm head of security
on the Robin Masters estate.

Why were you looking
for Roxanne?

Roxanne?
I don't know any Roxanne.

- That's me.
- How do you do?

- He wasn't looking for her. He was.
- No, I wasn't. I was looking for her.

[ Magnum ]
Ask T.C. Oh, no, don't ask me nothin'.

[ Linda ] Oh, you're T.C.
[ Magnum ] T.C., I'm sorry. This is Linda.

- Knock off
the tea party introductions. - Hey.

I think I can explain
this whole misunderstanding.

- No, you can't.
- Higgins.

See, I was hired by five little girls
to find their schoolteacher.

That is Linda.

But they didn't want me to find Linda,
so they gave me all these false leads.

One of the false leads
was the address to your place.

So, naturally, when T.C. and I...

started asking around about a blonde
with a Hawaiian beach bum... boy,

your friend here just naturally assumed
that I was looking for Roxanne.

But I wasn't looking for Roxanne.
I was looking for Linda, and I found her,

even though they really
didn't want me to find her.

So, see, it was all just this great,
big misunderstanding.

Why were you
looking for Roxanne?

- I told you.
- Will you shut up?

I wasn't looking for Roxanne.

I was looking for Linda
who looks like Roxanne.

- I do not.
- What do you mean by that?

Shut up, all of you! I've been
a successful businessman for years.

Suddenly I get a new girlfriend
who has private eyes following her around, and I'm no longer successful.

- See, I just explained that. Maybe--
- Thomas, please.

- Don't tell that story again.
- First, the listening devices,

then money starts disappearing.

- Now some of my clients
are changing neighborhoods. - All right! All right!

- I was working for Roxanne.
She hired me. - What?

But not to follow you.

- To follow him.
- What?

Oh, it happens this way every time.

The right-hand man tries to take over.
Think about it.

Who has more access to you
than him?

And as for her,
you should be thanking her for turning me on to this.

She was just worried
about you getting wiped out by your best friend.

- Mano, he's crazy.
- Hear! Hear!

You gonna believe this guy?
He's just fast-talking you.

Oh, it's so typical.

They always blame the girlfriend.

Hell, she was just trying
to protect you.

I'll bet that he has the combination
to your personal safe.

Yeah.
Hey, Mano, it ain't like it looks.

I mean, maybe I took
a little now and then.

Nothing big. Honest.
Honest!

It was just pocket money.!

After all the years
we've been together.

Where'd you get all that madness
you was talkin' in there?

I made it up.
Mm-hmm.

You made it up?
It worked, didn't it?

[ Melissa ]
?Four calling birds three French hens?

? Two turtle doves ?

?And a partridge
in a pear tree?

[ Sighs ]

- Wait a minute.
Where are you going? - To make the drop.

No, you're not. He could be
waiting in there for you. I'll take it.

- No, he is expecting me.
- That's right. You're a loose end in his crime.

- What are you saying?
- Linda, he has five little girls locked away where they could die.

He may want them to die.
No.

You are going to have to
face that possibility.

He could be waiting in there
to kill you once he has the painting.

There's no loose ends that way.
I'll take it. No. No.

- T.C.
- Magnum!

Magnum, no! Come--
Magnum!

- [ Door Closes ]
- Two million marks.

I can't believe
I'm letting him do this.

- Well?
- There's nothing in there.

[ Linda ]
What? Except Robin Masters's Gauguin.

The kidnapper is in there.
He has to be!

Believe me, Linda.
There's nothing in there but the fish.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Melissa ]
? Three French hens two turtle doves?

?And a partridge in a pear tree??

[ Magnum Narrating ]
Now that the drop had been made, the worst part was the waiting.

[ Higgins ]
As soon as the kidnapper calls with the girls' location,

I'm calling the police.

Higgins, first we make sure
the girls are safe,

then we get the painting
without involving the police.

- What?
- T.C. and I have it all worked out.

- Don't worry.
- Good. Then you can explain your plan to the police.

Higgins, I don't want to have to
get into this again with you.

We are not going to let Linda
and the girls get in trouble with the police.

[ Ringing ]

Give me that.

Yeah. Yeah.

They're in a civil defense tunnel
in Diamond Head. Come on.

Five-O, I want to report a theft.

This is the chief security officer
of Robin Masters's estate.

Unhand me!

This is outrageous!

Outrageous!

Can't you stall them?

It's Rick.
He trailed the kidnapper to the airport.

[ T.C. ] Good-bye, Gauguin.
Stay with him the best you can.

[ Banging ]

Nancy.! Melissa.!

Get them out of here.
It's like an oven in here.

I knew you'd save us, Magnum.

Come on.

[ Magnum Narrating ]
The girls were fine by the time we got some liquid in them,

but we left them with Linda
at the emergency center just to be sure.

My instinct was to lock
this guy away in that tunnel for a couple of days,

but that would only bring the police
and involve the girls,

so I had another plan.

[ Woman On P.A., Indistinct ]
??[ Christmas Instrumental On P.A.]

They just called his plane.
We've got 1 0 minutes.

If we're gonna
get the painting back, we gotta do it now. It's Gate 1 8.

[ People Chattering ]

[ Woman On P.A.]
Passengers for Pan Pacific Flight 2 1 0...

from Honolulu to San Francisco
now boarding at Gate 11.

Show me one of these leis.

Uh, yeah--
No, this is not me. This is not me.

It's not-- It's not--
It's not manly enough.

I want a manly--
you know, a macho-looking lei.

Show me another one.
Show me another one. just show me another one.

It's not me either.
It's--

You got a macho lei?

?? [ Whistling ]

[ Woman On P.A.]
Captain Walt Connors, please pick up the white courtesy telephone.

Captain Walt Connors,
please pick up the white courtesy telephone.

[ Beeps ]
What the--

- I'm telling you the truth--
- [ Woman ] Pardon me, sir.

I'm gonna have to ask you
to go back through again.

- [ T.C.] For what? Obviously
I don't have anything on me. - Please stay back, folks.

Please go back through.
I gotta go back through?

Yes.

It's a good thing I got here early.
I never would've catched my flight. I'm sure glad I'm not in a hurry.

- [ Beeps ]
- [ Woman ] Can you empty your pockets?

Again? Oh, I got it.

Must be these keys.
Right.

Okay, step back.

Excuse me, sir. Do you know
how to load one of these things? No.

Yeah, me neither.
Me, I'm a simple guy.

I would've been happy
with one of those cameras that James Garner pitches on TV.

[ Man ]
It's your turn to go through. Yeah, right. I'm sorry.

Say, would you mind
holding this for me?

Put it on the ramp.
Put it on the ramp.

Right. I'm sorry.
Excuse me, okay? Excuse me.

[ Woman On P.A.]
Transglobal Flight 50 is now arriving at Gate Six.

Transglobal Flight 50
is now arriving at Gate Six.

I'd give anything to see
the look on that turkey's face...

when he finds out
what's really in there. [ All Chuckling ]

??[ Christmas Instrumental ]

Merry Christmas, Higgins.

I understand it was
a smashing rescue, Mr. Higgins.

I wouldn't know,

having been detained
against my will.

Well, we didn't get to see
much either.

[ Melissa ]
But the best part was when Magnum saved us.

You were wonderful,
Magnum.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

But at least I can tell Mr. Masters
we have the original back.

You called Robin?
I have a call into him in St. Tropez.

As soon as he returns it,
I shall tell him that his Gauguin is now safe,

although it had been stolen
by clients of his guest, Thomas Magnum.

We'll see how welcome
you are around here then.

Gee, I don't know.
What do you think Robin will say...

when you tell him five little girls
beat your security system?

[ Girls, Linda Giggling ]

[ All Laughing ]

??[ Christmas Instrumental ]

??[ Continues ]

??[ Ends ]

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