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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:04,367 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,167 I WAS JUST THINKING-- I'M LEAVING-- 3 00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:08,767 DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT A CAB? 4 00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:11,634 ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT I'D TAKE A WALK. 5 00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:14,167 O.K. DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT A WALK? 6 00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:15,567 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 7 00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:17,033 I DON'T KNOW. 8 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:19,367 I REALLY WANTED TO GO WITH HER. 9 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,934 JAMIE AND I AREN'T DOING SO GREAT RIGHT NOW. 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,868 WE HAVE TO TALK. 11 00:00:29,868 --> 00:00:32,267 WE TOOK A WALK AROUND THE BLOCK. 12 00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:36,434 SHE GOT INTO A CAB, AND I CAME HOME. 13 00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,200 BUT IT WASN'T JUST A WALK. 14 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,501 I KISSED DOUG BERKUS. 15 00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:43,300 I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 16 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,868 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 17 00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:45,968 I DON'T KNOW. 18 00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,801 ARE YOU COMING BACK? I DON'T KNOW. 19 00:00:47,801 --> 00:00:49,167 SHOULDN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS? 20 00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:52,601 NO. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS NOW. I CAN'T...TALK. 21 00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:54,100 O.K., WAIT, JUST WAIT. 22 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,567 WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW? WHAT HAPPENS NOW? 23 00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:57,934 I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. 24 00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:00,901 I'M--I'M-- 25 00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:03,701 I DON'T KNOW. 26 00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:16,267 [WOMAN] OHH! [KNOCK ON DOOR] 27 00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:17,334 OH, NO. 28 00:01:17,334 --> 00:01:18,634 [IRA] WHO IS IT? 29 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,834 [PAUL] IT'S ME, SPLINKY. OPEN UP. 30 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:24,400 PAULIE, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? 31 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,868 IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR. 32 00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:30,167 COME ON. 33 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:31,501 WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING IN THERE? 34 00:01:31,501 --> 00:01:33,501 NOTHING. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 35 00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:37,534 OH, NO. 36 00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:38,567 YEP. 37 00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:40,267 PAULIE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL HER. 38 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,434 I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU, AND-- 39 00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:45,868 I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TELL HER. I TRIED. 40 00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,367 BEFORE I COULD TELL HER, 41 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,601 SHE TELLS ME SHE KISSED THIS GUY IN HER OFFICE. 42 00:01:50,601 --> 00:01:53,701 YOU KNOW THIS GUY BERKUS? WELL, SHE KISSED HIM. 43 00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,734 SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KISS HIM. 44 00:01:55,734 --> 00:01:58,200 HE KISSED HER, BUT SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY STOP IT. 45 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,834 SO WELCOME TO MY LIFE. 46 00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:02,601 HEY! NAKED GIRL. 47 00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:04,434 DO YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON BEHIND YOUR COUCH? 48 00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,968 PAULIE, THIS IS JOYCE. 49 00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,767 JOYCE, THIS IS MY COUSIN PAUL. 50 00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,033 HI. HI, PAUL. 51 00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,534 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 52 00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,534 EXCUSE ME. SORRY. 53 00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:14,934 DO YOU STILL HAVE THOSE FAT-FREE COOKIES? 54 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,167 YEAH. ON THE SHELF, NEXT TO THE CHIPS. 55 00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:40,100 NO. STAY, STAY. JUST... 56 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,133 I CAN'T FIND THEM. 57 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:45,434 THEY'RE UNDERNEATH THE GOOD COOKIES-- THE ONES WITH THE FAT. 58 00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:47,300 EVERYTHING'S SO DIFFERENT NOW. 59 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,601 THE AIR'S A DIFFERENT COLOR. 60 00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,400 I FEEL SO TOTALLY OFF. 61 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,667 I WAS WALKING HERE-- I CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH. 62 00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:56,667 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 63 00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,067 WE'RE GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT. I PROMISE. 64 00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,968 WHAT GOOD COOKIES WITH THE FAT? 65 00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:04,067 JUST A SECOND. ALL RIGHT? 66 00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:13,100 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 67 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,434 I GAVE HIM THOSE SHEETS. 68 00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:20,434 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 69 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,968 COME IN! IT'S OPEN! 70 00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:26,267 HI, JAMIE. WANT TO PLAY TWISTER? 71 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:29,033 TWISTER? NO, THANKS. 72 00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:32,434 HOW ABOUT A THREE-WAY GAME OF CHUTES AND LADDERS? 73 00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,601 MAYBE LATER. 74 00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:35,300 I'LL GO SET IT UP. 75 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,934 LISA...HELP. 76 00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:39,968 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 77 00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:41,000 I'M IN TROUBLE. 78 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,167 WHAT'S UP? 79 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:44,968 I KISSED DOUG BERKUS. 80 00:03:44,968 --> 00:03:49,133 THAT GUY FROM THE OFFICE? HE'S SO CUTE! 81 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,434 O.K., REALLY NOT THE POINT. 82 00:03:51,434 --> 00:03:52,801 I KNOW. 83 00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:55,133 I MAY HAVE JUST SCREWED UP 84 00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:57,701 WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A VERY NICE LITTLE LIFE. 85 00:03:57,701 --> 00:03:58,868 HE'LL GET OVER IT. 86 00:03:58,868 --> 00:04:00,734 MINE. MY LIFE. 87 00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:03,033 ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. 88 00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:03,901 COME ON. 89 00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:07,467 YOU DIDN'T, UH... 90 00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,067 NO. GOD. OF COURSE NOT. 91 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,400 YOU'LL FEEL BAD FOR A LITTLE BIT. 92 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,100 YOU'LL GET OVER IT. LIFE GOES ON. 93 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,467 PAUL LEFT. 94 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,534 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 95 00:04:17,534 --> 00:04:19,100 I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED. 96 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,133 HE GOT UPSET AND LEFT. 97 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,567 I COULDN'T STAY IN THE HOUSE ALONE. 98 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,434 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHAT DO I DO? 99 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,767 YOU'RE ASKING ME? 100 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,067 YES. 101 00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,167 COOL. 102 00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:35,400 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 103 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,634 YEAH? 104 00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:37,834 IS HE THERE? 105 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:39,067 YEAH. IS SHE THERE? 106 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,234 UH-HUH. 107 00:04:40,234 --> 00:04:42,367 NOPE. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? 108 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,534 YOU PUT HER ON. I'LL PUT HIM ON. 109 00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:48,100 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM. 110 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,767 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 111 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,868 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME? 112 00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:55,934 NO, NO. IDON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER. 113 00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:58,067 HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO HER. 114 00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,300 WHAT? VERY MATURE. 115 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,000 HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 116 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,067 VERY MATURE. 117 00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:06,133 TOLD YOU. 118 00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,033 THEY SAID YOU'RE VERY MATURE. 119 00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:12,601 VERY MATURE SARCASTIC, OR VERY MATURE SINCERE? 120 00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:14,601 I'D HAVE TO GUESS SARCASTIC. 121 00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:21,100 I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW. 122 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,067 HUH? 123 00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,167 HUH? WHAT? 124 00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,100 WHAT? NEVER MIND. 125 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:24,968 I DON'T KNOW. NEVER MIND. 126 00:05:24,968 --> 00:05:25,934 SHE DOESN'T KNOW. 127 00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,968 SHE DOESN'T KNOW. 128 00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:28,734 SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOPELESS, 129 00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:31,000 OR SHE DOESN'T KNOW, LIKE, AMBIVALENT? 130 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,501 GET ON THE PHONE. 131 00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:33,834 NO, NO. 132 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,167 WHAT DID HE SAY? HOLD ON A SECOND. 133 00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,000 HOLD ON A SECOND. 134 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,067 I GOT NOTHING TO SAY TO HER. 135 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,934 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO HER. 136 00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:40,267 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. 137 00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:41,767 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO ME? 138 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:43,634 WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? 139 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:46,300 A--SHE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING TO ANYBODY NOW. 140 00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,734 SHE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING AT ALL. 141 00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,534 SHE SHOULD LOOK INSIDE HER SOUL 142 00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:53,167 FOR SOME ANSWERS TO VERY STICKY QUESTIONS 143 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,167 ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE 144 00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:58,767 AND PROPRIETY AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF ACTIONS 145 00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,434 AND THE RAMIFICATIONS THEREOF. 146 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,601 ANSWERS TO ALL KINDS OF STUFF. 147 00:06:02,601 --> 00:06:04,634 AND 2-- AND DEUX... 148 00:06:04,634 --> 00:06:06,167 IN A LARGER SENSE-- 149 00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:07,634 WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS SHE? 150 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,834 WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS SHE? 151 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:11,734 WHO IS THIS WOMAN THAT I THOUGHT I KNEW, 152 00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:15,701 WHO HAS MADE A MOCKERY OF EVERYTHING THAT I HELD SACRED? 153 00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:18,400 AND WHEN WE MADE OUR SACRED MARRIAGE VOWS-- 154 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,167 FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, 155 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,767 FOR SICKNESS OR FOR POORER-- 156 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:25,300 I DON'T RECALL ANYBODY MAKING MENTION 157 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,334 OF THE BRIDE KISSING DOUGLAS BERKUS. 158 00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:29,000 ABOUT THE BRIDE KISSING THIS CLOWN BERKUS. 159 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,033 AND I'LL TELL YOU, 160 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:33,300 THE NERVE, THE UNMITIGATED GALL 161 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,033 OF HER TEARING APART THIS UNION 162 00:06:35,033 --> 00:06:36,300 OUT OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS 163 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,100 LEAVES ANY THINKING, FEELING HUMAN BEING 164 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,767 WITH A PIT IN THEIR STOMACH. 165 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,167 AND TELL HER I WANT MY DOG BACK. 166 00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:48,067 TELL HIM PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES, 167 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,968 THAT NONE OF US IS PERFECT, 168 00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:54,501 AND UNTIL HE'S WALKED A MILE IN MY SHOES, HE HAS NOT WALKED. 169 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,000 BOY, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE. 170 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,634 AND TELL HIM IF HE STOPS BY THE APARTMENT TO WATER THE PLANTS. 171 00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:04,167 AND ALSO I LEFT A FROZEN CHICKEN ON THE COUNTER. 172 00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,901 IF HE WANTS TO PICK UP MURRAY, 173 00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:07,667 HE CAN COME BY MY OFFICE AND GET HIM TOMORROW 174 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,133 BEFORE HIS JOB INTERVIEW. 175 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:12,334 AND TELL HIM GOODBYE. 176 00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:14,267 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 177 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,767 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 178 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:18,567 JUST TELL HER GOODBYE. 179 00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:19,434 GOODBYE. 180 00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,467 HEY. 181 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,334 LOOK WHO'S LATE INSTEAD OF ME. 182 00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:30,667 WE COULDN'T GET ON THE SUBWAY. 183 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,467 MURRAY WOULDN'T SAY HE'S A SEEING EYE DOG. 184 00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,901 PICK A BUTTON. 185 00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,434 THE BUTTONS. 186 00:07:35,434 --> 00:07:37,434 THAT'S RIGHT. THE BUTTONS. 187 00:07:37,434 --> 00:07:39,133 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? 188 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,634 SEE YOU TOMORROW. 189 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,167 SO THIS IS MURRAY. 190 00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,334 YES. 191 00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:48,167 MURRAY, DOUG. 192 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,234 DOUG, MURRAY. 193 00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,200 HI, MURRAY. 194 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,968 [DING] 195 00:07:51,968 --> 00:07:54,567 LISTEN, JAMIE, I, UH... 196 00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:57,934 HEY, CAN WE WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE? IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 197 00:07:57,934 --> 00:07:59,300 FOURTH FLOOR, PLEASE. O.K. 198 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,033 UM, ABOUT YESTERDAY-- DOUG-- 199 00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,801 I DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT. 200 00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:09,968 THAT MAKES 17 OF US. 201 00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:11,434 LOOK, THIS THING THAT HAPPENED-- 202 00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:12,834 DOUG-- 203 00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:16,167 CAN I--PLEASE-- LET ME SAY THIS, O.K.? 204 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:19,601 UH, I THOUGHT IN THE BACK OF MY CRAZY HEAD 205 00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:22,934 THAT YOUWANTEDME TO. 206 00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,734 NOW, OBVIOUSLY, YOU DIDN'T, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 207 00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:26,934 AND IF I HAD NEVER TRIED, 208 00:08:26,934 --> 00:08:29,400 I WOULD NEVER HAVE FORGIVEN MYSELF. DOUG-- 209 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,667 REALLY, I'M--I'M VERY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS, BUT... 210 00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:37,200 PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 211 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,367 NO, I KNOW. 212 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,567 I'M REALLY... AWFULLY FOND OF YOU, JAMIE. 213 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,968 I KNOW THAT. 214 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:47,200 AND MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE, UM-- 215 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,000 [DING] 216 00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,434 IF I THOUGHT WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, 217 00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,434 I WOULD REALLY HATE THAT. 218 00:08:59,434 --> 00:09:01,300 MAYBE WE COULD PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED-- 219 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,400 I ALREADY TOLD PAUL. 220 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,000 WHAT? 221 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,367 I TOLD PAUL ABOUT IT. 222 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:06,501 WHY? 223 00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:07,534 BECAUSE I DID. 224 00:09:07,534 --> 00:09:08,968 OH, GREAT. 225 00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:10,434 THE STAIRS ARE FASTER. 226 00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:11,834 I BET HE WANTS TO KILL ME. 227 00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:13,000 NO, HE DOESN'T. 228 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,767 I HOPE YOU CAN TELL HIM-- 229 00:09:17,634 --> 00:09:19,033 HI. 230 00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:20,367 HI. 231 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:25,200 OH. 232 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,868 HI. 233 00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:27,801 HI. 234 00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,334 WELL... 235 00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:38,133 CAN ANYBODY THINK OF ANYTHING MORE AWKWARD? 236 00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:40,534 HONEY. 237 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,434 OH, ME? 238 00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:43,868 YES, YOU. 239 00:09:43,868 --> 00:09:45,000 I WASN'T SURE. 240 00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,467 LISTEN, I THINK IT'S-- 241 00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:50,667 [BRAKES SCREECH] 242 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,901 I REALLY DON'T THINK 243 00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:54,400 YOU SHOULD SAY ANYTHING JUST NOW. 244 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,567 IF I-- 245 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:58,834 AND I'M REALLY, REALLY SURE ABOUT THAT FOR YOU. 246 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:01,300 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. 247 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,000 THINK THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 248 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,133 THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON. 249 00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:06,934 I REALLY WOULDN'T CALL IT NOTHING. 250 00:10:06,934 --> 00:10:09,567 I SWEAR TO YOU, THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON. 251 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,434 LOOK HOW NICE YOU BOTH GET ALONG. 252 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,300 [ALARM BELL RINGS] 253 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,400 HONEY, THE SECURITY GUYS COME IF THE ELEVATOR ST-- 254 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,601 [RINGING STOPS] 255 00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:25,934 [DING] 256 00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:31,968 DO YOU WANT TO COME IN AND TALK FOR A MINUTE? 257 00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:34,968 NO. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO DOUG FOR A SECOND. 258 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 259 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,868 I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO DOUG. 260 00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,100 YOU MARRIED? 261 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,667 NO. 262 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:03,567 EVER BEEN MARRIED? NO. 263 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,167 HMM. 264 00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,567 BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS NOT EASY TO-- 265 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,901 REALLY? 266 00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,234 YES. AND I WANT TO SAY, PAUL, THAT I'M-- 267 00:11:14,234 --> 00:11:15,968 [BRAKES SCREECH] 268 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:19,467 LISTEN, I KNOW THAT WHATEVER IS WRONG, 269 00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:21,367 WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH JAMIE AND ME, 270 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:22,701 THAT IS OUR PROBLEM. 271 00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:26,300 WE WILL FIX IT. THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 272 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:30,067 IT WAS WRONG, AND I APOLOGIZE TO BOTH OF YOU. 273 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,100 THAT'S VERY SWEET. 274 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,434 I MEAN THAT, PAUL. 275 00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:35,834 I UNDERSTAND. THAT'S AWFULLY CIVILIZED. 276 00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,934 AT THE SAME TIME, I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU-- 277 00:11:37,934 --> 00:11:39,400 AND I MEAN THIS 278 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:44,234 WITH NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR YOU AS A PROFESSIONAL... 279 00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:46,834 IF YOU EVERTOUCH MY WIFE AGAIN-- 280 00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,400 I WON'T. 281 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,033 [ALARM BELL STARTS] I PROMISE. 282 00:11:55,968 --> 00:11:57,334 [BELL STOPS] 283 00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:07,434 DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO HIT YOU? 284 00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,267 YEAH, I DID. 285 00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,434 [DING] 286 00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:12,701 GOOD. 287 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:21,801 MURRAY, I TOLD YOU TO GO BEFORE WE LEFT. 288 00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:25,400 DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. 289 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,601 UM, MR. BUCHMAN. 290 00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:28,100 HI. YES. PAUL. 291 00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,234 HI, PAUL. 292 00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:31,100 I'M JANE PAULEY'S ASSISTANT. HI. 293 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,901 I SEE YOU BROUGHT A LITTLE FRIEND ALONG. 294 00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:35,467 I HAD A SCHEDULING CONFLICT. 295 00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:37,801 I DON'T USUALLY BRING A DOG TO AN INTERVIEW, 296 00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:39,868 ESPECIALLY A JOB THAT I REALLY WANT. 297 00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:41,968 I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOB. 298 00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:44,300 9 OUT OF 10 INTERVIEWS, THERE'S NO DOG. 299 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,701 I'M ENTIRELY DOGLESS THROUGHOUT THE INTERVIEW, 300 00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:47,834 NOT EVEN, LIKE, A PUPPY. 301 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,133 MR. BUCHMAN, I THINK YOUR DOG-- 302 00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,501 OOH. OOH. 303 00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:55,834 I BEGGED YOU TO GO BEFORE WE GOT HERE. 304 00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:58,667 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME. 305 00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,601 WHY MAURY POVICH? 306 00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:06,934 WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 307 00:13:09,801 --> 00:13:11,400 YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? 308 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,801 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 309 00:13:33,701 --> 00:13:35,434 [SINGING] 310 00:13:35,434 --> 00:13:37,300 COME ON. RIGHT ON THE CARPET? 311 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,100 RIGHT BETWEEN DATE AND LINE. 312 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,033 YOU AIN'T GOING TO GET THAT JOB. 313 00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:44,834 WHAT DID WE HAVE IN THAT LAST BAR? 314 00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:45,901 THE SPORTS BAR? 315 00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:47,000 NO. BEFORE THAT. 316 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,234 YES. THE STRIP CLUB? 317 00:13:48,234 --> 00:13:49,467 IT WAS A MAI TAI. 318 00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:50,634 OW. THAT WAS THE BIG MISTAKE. 319 00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:54,634 BEST THING FOR THAT-- COLD BEER AND SOME KARAOKE. 320 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,434 THIS GUY'S SLEEPING ON MY COUCH-- 321 00:13:57,434 --> 00:13:59,667 3:00 IN THE MORNING 322 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,133 WATCHING FLIPPER IN HIS UNDERWEAR AND CRYING. 323 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,901 EXCUSE ME FOR HAVING EMOTIONS. 324 00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:07,234 YOU GUYS EVER HAVE A MARRIAGE THAT FELL TO CRAP? 325 00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,367 YES. YEAH. 326 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,834 ALL RIGHT, THEN. SO SHUT UP. 327 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:14,267 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? 328 00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:18,634 I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO PUNCH SOMEBODY. 329 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:19,701 WHO--BERKUS? 330 00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:21,100 FOR STARTERS, YEAH. 331 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,467 YOU SHOULD HAVE. 332 00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:23,567 WANT TO HIT ME? 333 00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:25,501 WHY? WHAT DID YOU DO? 334 00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,567 NOTHING. IT'S JUST A RELEASE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 335 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,634 YOU WOULD LET ME HIT YOU? 336 00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,400 SURE. IF IT HELPS YOU. 337 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,400 THANK YOU. 338 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,434 YOU WANT TO? 339 00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:35,567 NAH. MAYBE LATER. 340 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:38,133 COME ON, NOW. DO IT NOW. 341 00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,901 REALLY? 342 00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,267 YEAH. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 343 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000 COME ON. THAT'S NOT A HIT. 344 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,067 PAULIE, THAT'S NOT A HIT. 345 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,701 OW! THAT'S A HIT. 346 00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:50,167 THERE YOU GO. 347 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,167 ME, ME. WHAT ABOUT ME? 348 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,100 YEAH! O.K., THERE. NOW... 349 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,334 NOW WE FEEL BETTER? 350 00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:57,334 NOT ONE OUNCE. 351 00:14:57,334 --> 00:14:59,334 I WANT TO BE LIKE JAMIE. 352 00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:00,868 I'D LIKE TO KISS SOMEBODY. 353 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,701 WANT TO KISS ME? 354 00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,567 YOU WOULD LET ME KISS YOU? 355 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:05,868 SURE. 356 00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,701 I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU. 357 00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:08,901 YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 358 00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:10,734 THAT HAS ZERO APPEAL TO ME. 359 00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:11,734 I UNDERSTAND. 360 00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:12,767 MAYBE LATER? 361 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:14,200 MAYBE LATER. 362 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,367 O.K. 363 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,968 RIGHT THERE. THAT'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SOMEBODY 364 00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,567 THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KISS. 365 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,033 SO GO AHEAD. 366 00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,167 YOU'D LET ME? 367 00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,801 SURE. IF IT'LL HELP YOU. 368 00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:26,667 YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME. 369 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:29,334 WELL, YOU KNOW, I HATE TO NITPICK, 370 00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,100 BUT KISSING SOMEBODY WOULDN'T MAKE YOU EVEN. 371 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,701 WHY NOT? 372 00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,100 BECAUSE JAMES DIDN'T KISS SOMEBODY. 373 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,467 SOMEBODY KISSED HER. 374 00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,033 THE MAN HAS A POINT. 375 00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:41,200 TECHNICALLY, SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE TO KISS YOU. 376 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,434 THEN I COULD TAKE HALF AN HOUR TO PUSH THEM AWAY, 377 00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,067 PRETEND I DIDN'T ENJOY IT. 378 00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,801 HEY, COME ON. LET'S BE FAIR TO JAMIE. 379 00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:52,400 THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING, AN ISOLATED INCIDENT. 380 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,000 IT WAS A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF JUDGMENT, OF WEAKNESS. 381 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,934 IT'S NOT A CAPITAL CRIME. 382 00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:58,601 IN EUROPE, THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. MM-HMM. 383 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,033 WHERE? 384 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,234 IN EUROPE. 385 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:05,567 WHERE IN EUROPE? 386 00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,901 WHEREVER YOU WANT-- ITALY, FRANCE. 387 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,467 YOU DON'T THINK IN FRANCE THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY? 388 00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,434 OH. THE FRENCH DON'T CARE. 389 00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,067 IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. 390 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:16,200 EVERY DAY, EVERY MINUTE. 391 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,968 BINGO. JUST HAPPENED. 392 00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:22,133 A GUY IN MARSEILLES JUST GRABBED ANOTHER GUY'S WIFE 393 00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:23,634 RIGHT IN THE CROISSANT. 394 00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:26,000 WHY CAN'T I DO THAT? 395 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,834 BECAUSE THAT'S NOT YOU. 396 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,300 THESE PEOPLE ARE FRENCH. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? 397 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,033 ALL RIGHT. 398 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,667 WHAT ABOUT HER? 399 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,434 WHAT ABOUT HER? 400 00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,634 WHAT IF SHE KISSED ME OUT OF HER OWN GOODWILL? 401 00:16:37,634 --> 00:16:40,200 YOU'D BE ONE LUCKY MAN. 402 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,100 HERE YOU GO. 403 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,567 HERE YOU GO, SWEETHEART. 404 00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:45,901 WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 405 00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:47,100 SANDRA. 406 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,767 SANDRA, DO YOU KNOW IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY? 407 00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,200 OH. IS IT REALLY? 408 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,901 YEP. 409 00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,767 WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 410 00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,901 SO, I TOOK A SHOT THERE. 411 00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:03,200 DON'T MAKE US DRAG YOU OUT. 412 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,801 THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE-- I STOP AT THE LINE. 413 00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,601 I DANCE UP TO IT, SKATE NEAR IT. 414 00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:10,701 I DON'T GO OVER THE LINE. 415 00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:13,200 MY WIFE CATAPULTS CLEAR ACROSS THE LINE. 416 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,200 JAMIE DOESN'T CATAPULT. 417 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,334 IF I HAD KNOWN, I WOULD'VE ENJOYED MYSELF BEFORE. 418 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,334 YOU FEEL GUILTY JUST LOOKING ACROSS THE LINE. 419 00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:24,033 I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MY GUILT. 420 00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:26,601 I'M IN A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION. 421 00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:29,100 YOU THINK YOU'RE THE FIRST COUPLE TO GO THROUGH THIS? 422 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,601 FRAN AND I WENT THROUGH HELL. 423 00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:34,734 TWO YEARS SEPARATED-- YOU WORK THROUGH IT, AND IT BECOMES BETTER. 424 00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,267 IT'S LIKE A BROKEN BONE. 425 00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,534 YOU RESET IT, AND SOMETIMES 426 00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:41,033 IT'S STRONGER THAN BEFORE YOU BROKE IT. 427 00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:47,100 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 428 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,300 FRAN AND I WERE JUST MARRIED. 429 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,167 THERE'S THIS GUY IN FRAN'S OFFICE. 430 00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,300 HE KEEPS CALLING HER AND CALLING-- 431 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,634 NO, I'M SORRY. NO, THAT WASN'T FRAN. 432 00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:57,601 THAT WAS ANOTHER COUPLE-- THE KOPACKS. 433 00:17:57,601 --> 00:17:58,567 THEY'RE FRIENDS OF OURS. 434 00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,834 FRAN TOLD ME-- 435 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,501 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? 436 00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:04,400 WORK THINGS THROUGH. IT GETS BETTER. 437 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,801 MARK, YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRESS THE BOY. 438 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:09,834 WHOEVER ORDERED HANK WILLIAMS, YOUR SONG IS UP. 439 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,601 HERE WE GO. IT'S OUR TURN. 440 00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,133 JUST WHAT YOU NEED. 441 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,968 A RELEASE. WHAT DO I NEED? 442 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,234 I DON'T SING. 443 00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:19,200 YOU DON'T HAVE TO. JUST BE LOUD. 444 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,734 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S A LITTLE SONG FROM THE BIRTHDAY BOY. 445 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:23,767 THE LYRICS. 446 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,567 MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF. 447 00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,334 NO, NO, NO. 448 00:18:27,334 --> 00:18:31,234 * YOUR CHEATIN' HEART * 449 00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,901 * WILL MAKE YOU WEEP * 450 00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,801 I DON'T KNOW THESE GUYS. 451 00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:38,734 * YOU'LL CRY AND CRY * 452 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:42,868 * AND TRY TO SLEEP * 453 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:46,734 * BUT SLEEP WON'T COME * 454 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,434 * THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH * 455 00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:50,701 SING IT, PAUL! SING IT! 456 00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,234 * YOUR CHEATING HEART * 457 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,100 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 458 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,334 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 459 00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:00,100 * YOUR CHEATING HEART * 460 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,267 CHEATING HEART, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! 461 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,734 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 462 00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:06,133 JUST LIKE YOUR LITTLE SISTER! 463 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,133 * YOU'LL CRY AND CRY * 464 00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,901 SOBBING, SOBBING! 465 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:11,067 * THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH * 466 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,100 THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH! 467 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,167 [STAMMERS] 468 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,901 SING IT LIKE HE DOES! 469 00:19:16,901 --> 00:19:18,901 * THE WAY I DO * 470 00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,767 CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP! 471 00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,934 * YOUR CHEATING HEART * 472 00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:24,868 CHEATING HEART! 473 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,767 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 474 00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,267 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 475 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,234 * WILL TELL ON YOU * 476 00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,334 WILL TELL ON YOU. 477 00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:38,367 [BARBERSHOP HARMONIES] * WILL TELL ON YOU ** 478 00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,200 OH! THANK YOU! 479 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,801 YES! 480 00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:42,834 THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT! 481 00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:45,501 THERE YOU GO! 482 00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,100 VERY NICE, PAULIE. 483 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,234 OH, WOW! 484 00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:52,434 THAT WAS REALLY GREAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 485 00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:58,334 THERE YOU GO. YOU HAPPY NOW? 486 00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:00,400 NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED AT ALL. 487 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,467 RRR. 488 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,801 AAH-HA! 489 00:20:08,801 --> 00:20:11,734 OW! WOW, THAT HURTS. 490 00:20:11,734 --> 00:20:13,667 WELL, THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. 491 00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,267 IT'S BEEN A NICE CAREER. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 492 00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:17,701 WHAT DO YOU GOT-- BUTTONS? 493 00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:18,834 YEAH. READ ONE. 494 00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:20,601 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." 495 00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:21,968 READ IT AGAIN. 496 00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:22,968 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." 497 00:20:22,968 --> 00:20:24,133 READ IT AGAIN. 498 00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,000 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYRO." 499 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,100 YES. 500 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,934 I'M THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF NEW YORK POLITICS. 501 00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:31,567 IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 502 00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,467 I THINK IT'S AN ENDEARING MISTAKE. 503 00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,968 OH, LISTEN. IRA HAD THE BEST IDEA. 504 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,934 WE'RE GOING TO BURT AND SYLVIA'S 505 00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,567 AND IRON OUT THE PARTY-CONFLICT THING. 506 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,033 WHO'S WE? 507 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:44,501 WELL, THERE'S ME. THERE'S SANFORD, O.K.? 508 00:20:44,501 --> 00:20:47,133 THERE'S BURT AND SYLVIA. AND IRA. 509 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,300 AND ZIGGY. 510 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,534 AND YOU AND PAUL! 511 00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,200 LISA! DID YOU SAY ME AND PAUL? 512 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,534 YEAH. KIND OF. 513 00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:58,267 NO. I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. NOT NOW. 514 00:20:58,267 --> 00:20:59,601 DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE PAUL? 515 00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:03,467 NO, I DON'T--I MEAN, I DO WANT TO SEE HIM, 516 00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:06,567 BUT I AM NOT READY YET. 517 00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:09,801 EVENTUALLY, YES, I WANT TO SEE HIM. I MISS HIM VERY MUCH, 518 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,200 BUT, NO, I AM NOT READY RIGHT NOW. 519 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,434 I'M SAYING NO. ARE YOU LISTENING? 520 00:21:14,434 --> 00:21:15,567 AAH! 521 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:16,534 ALL RIGHT! 522 00:21:16,534 --> 00:21:17,868 THANKS. 523 00:21:21,067 --> 00:21:22,167 [SYLVIA] WHERE'S JAMIE? 524 00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:23,234 WHY? 525 00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:24,834 IS THAT AN UNREASONABLE QUESTION? 526 00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:26,000 YOU'RE MARRIED TO THAT WOMAN. 527 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,067 YOU'RE HERE, SHE'S NOT. 528 00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:29,534 SHE HAD TO, UM... 529 00:21:29,534 --> 00:21:31,300 SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO, UH-- 530 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,200 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 531 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,200 FORGET IT. I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED. BELIEVE ME. 532 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,667 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 533 00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:38,767 WHY? MAKING COFFEE. 534 00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:40,901 IF ZIGGY KLARIK IS COMING, 535 00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:42,767 I WANT TO GIVE HIM SOME COFFEE. 536 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:45,334 YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ZIGGY KLARIK SOME COFFEE? 537 00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:47,434 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 538 00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:49,801 ZIGGY KLARIK DOESN'T DESERVE A CUP OF COFFEE! 539 00:21:49,801 --> 00:21:53,234 IT'S NOT THE GOOD COFFEE. 540 00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:55,400 WHAT'S WITH YOU AND ZIGGY KLARIK? 541 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,601 YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED? 542 00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:58,367 IT'S NOTHING. FORGET IT. 543 00:21:58,367 --> 00:22:00,000 IT'S A LONG TIME AGO. 544 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,334 TELL THEM ALREADY. 545 00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:03,667 1954, A SALESMAN COMES INTO MY STORE 546 00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:05,567 WITH HIS NEW PRODUCT. 547 00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:07,901 HE SAYS IT'S GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION. 548 00:22:07,901 --> 00:22:09,367 IT'S A CIRCULAR THING. 549 00:22:09,367 --> 00:22:11,567 IT'S TUBULAR, A CIRCULAR TUBE. 550 00:22:11,567 --> 00:22:14,467 HE SAYS, "BURT, THIS IS GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION." 551 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,200 SWEETIE, THE SHORT VERSION. 552 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,734 HE PUTS THIS TUBE AROUND HIS WAIST, AND HE STARTS TWIRLING. 553 00:22:20,734 --> 00:22:24,167 A HULA-HOOP? THIS GUY BROUGHT YOU THE HULA-HOOP? 554 00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:27,334 THAT'S RIGHT. WE MADE A DEAL FOR ME 555 00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:30,100 TO BE THE EXCLUSIVE HULA-HOOP DISTRIBUTOR IN THE TRISTATE AREA. 556 00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,367 THE VERY NEXT DAY, 557 00:22:32,367 --> 00:22:35,033 I GET A CALL FROM THIS GUY. 558 00:22:35,033 --> 00:22:37,901 ZIGGY KLARIK OUTBID ME. HE MAKES MILLIONS. 559 00:22:37,901 --> 00:22:40,667 AND ME, EVERY TIME I SEE A HULA-HOOP, 560 00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,567 I GET A PAIN RIGHT HERE. 561 00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:45,667 DON'T EAT YOUR GUTS OUT. IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO. 562 00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,934 MEANWHILE, HE'S COMING INTO MY KITCHEN, 563 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:49,267 AND YOU'RE MAKING HIM COFFEE. 564 00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:52,167 BECAUSE HIS SON IS GOING TO MARRY LISA. 565 00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:54,801 FOR EVERYBODY'S SAKE, COULD YOU AND ZIGGY 566 00:22:54,801 --> 00:22:56,601 TRY TO WORK OUT A SOLUTION? 567 00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,667 WELL, THERE IS A SIMPLE SOLUTION. 568 00:22:58,667 --> 00:22:59,868 HE CAN DROP DEAD. 569 00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,300 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 570 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:03,400 I THINK IT'S THEM. 571 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,200 THEM WHO? 572 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,334 WHOEVER'S COMING WHO ISN'T US. 573 00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:10,868 I GOT IT. I'LL GO GET IT. 574 00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:14,334 HI. 575 00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,100 HI. 576 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,767 HI. 577 00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:19,968 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU TWO A MINUTE. 578 00:23:19,968 --> 00:23:22,567 I'M SURPRISED YOU CAME. 579 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,367 I DIDN'T WANT TO. LISA ASKED-- 580 00:23:24,367 --> 00:23:26,467 I WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS, EITHER. 581 00:23:26,467 --> 00:23:28,901 I KNOW. 582 00:23:28,901 --> 00:23:31,501 ALL RIGHT, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE... 583 00:23:31,501 --> 00:23:34,234 MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, SO-- 584 00:23:34,234 --> 00:23:36,801 AND THEY DON'T NEED TO KNOW, SO-- 585 00:23:36,801 --> 00:23:38,667 COULD WE PRETEND FOR THE AFTERNOON WE'RE STILL US? 586 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,834 O.K. 587 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,067 GET THIS INSURED. I KNOW A GUY. 588 00:23:47,067 --> 00:23:48,634 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT GUY? 589 00:23:48,634 --> 00:23:50,400 SHE'S MARRYING KLARIKS. 590 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,334 YOU DON'T THINK THEY'RE INSURED? 591 00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:52,334 HOW DO I KNOW? 592 00:23:52,334 --> 00:23:53,767 HI. 593 00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:55,033 JAMES. 594 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:56,100 LOOK WHO'S HERE. 595 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,667 HOW IS EVERYBODY? 596 00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:02,100 WE HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY AND ENGAGEMENT PARTY ON THE SAME DAY. 597 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,534 OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE GETTING BY. 598 00:24:03,534 --> 00:24:05,667 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 599 00:24:05,667 --> 00:24:07,167 THAT'S SANFORD AND HIS DADDY. I'LL GET THAT. 600 00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:09,567 BOY, THE RICH BUZZ LONG. 601 00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:12,267 ENOUGH ALREADY. WE HEAR YOU. 602 00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:15,734 BY THE WAY... YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY. 603 00:24:15,734 --> 00:24:18,200 THANK YOU. YOU LOOK NICE, TOO. 604 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,267 ALL RIGHT, SHALL WE? 605 00:24:21,267 --> 00:24:24,067 BECAUSE I'VE GOT 15 MINUTES. 606 00:24:24,067 --> 00:24:26,300 YOU EVER SEEN A WATCH LIKE THAT? 607 00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,033 NO, I WOULD IMAGINE NOT. 608 00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:31,167 HONEY, WE TOOK A CHECKER CAB. 609 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:33,334 I SAT IN THE JUMP SEAT. 610 00:24:33,334 --> 00:24:36,267 COOL. ZIGGY KLARIK, THIS IS MY SISTER JAMIE. 611 00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:37,334 HI. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 612 00:24:37,334 --> 00:24:38,801 JAMIE. JAMIE. 613 00:24:38,801 --> 00:24:40,467 HI, JAMIE. HI, SANFORD. 614 00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:42,267 WE TOOK A CHECKER CAB. 615 00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:44,100 I HEARD. 616 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:45,667 THIS IS MY BROTHER-IN-LAW PAUL. 617 00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:46,634 HI. 618 00:24:46,634 --> 00:24:47,667 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 619 00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:48,968 PAUL. PAUL. 620 00:24:48,968 --> 00:24:50,467 HI, PAUL. 621 00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:52,100 TOOK A CAB? CHECKER. 622 00:24:54,634 --> 00:24:57,400 AND THIS IS, UH, PAUL'S COUSIN IRA. 623 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,167 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 624 00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:00,834 IRA. IRA. IRA. 625 00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:04,267 AND THIS IS PAUL'S MOM SYLVIA. 626 00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:05,734 IMPOSSIBLE. 627 00:25:05,734 --> 00:25:07,334 WHAT? 628 00:25:07,334 --> 00:25:10,567 YOU CAN'T BE HIS MOM. MAYBE HIS SISTER. 629 00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:12,934 OH, MR. KLARIK. 630 00:25:12,934 --> 00:25:15,367 HIS YOUNGER SISTER. 631 00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:17,701 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 632 00:25:17,701 --> 00:25:19,834 QUIET. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 633 00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:22,267 AND I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THIS MAN. 634 00:25:22,267 --> 00:25:24,133 HELLO, BURT. ZIGGY. 635 00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:25,467 BEEN A LONG TIME. 636 00:25:25,467 --> 00:25:27,534 UH-HUH. 637 00:25:27,534 --> 00:25:30,167 YOU STILL GOT THAT 12,000 SQUARE FEET ON 8th AVENUE? 638 00:25:30,167 --> 00:25:32,534 THAT'S RIGHT. 639 00:25:32,534 --> 00:25:33,834 SPORTING GOODS? 640 00:25:33,834 --> 00:25:35,367 YEP. 641 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,033 WHAT DID YOU CLEAR LAST YEAR? 642 00:25:38,033 --> 00:25:39,934 WE DID ALL RIGHT. 643 00:25:39,934 --> 00:25:41,901 HA HA HA HA HA. 644 00:25:41,901 --> 00:25:43,334 I'M SURE YOU DID. 645 00:25:43,334 --> 00:25:47,234 UH, WHERE IS MRS. KLARIK TODAY? 646 00:25:47,234 --> 00:25:48,834 SHE COULDN'T BE HERE. 647 00:25:48,834 --> 00:25:51,000 SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BEAUTY PARLOR... 648 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,367 FOR AN ESTIMATE. 649 00:25:54,367 --> 00:25:56,501 SO, ZIGGY, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 650 00:25:56,501 --> 00:25:58,067 OOH, DAD, LET'S NOT. 651 00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,300 HOW'S THE HULA-HOOP BUSINESS? 652 00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:00,767 OWWW. 653 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,767 COME ON--1954. WHAT ABOUT IT? 654 00:26:02,767 --> 00:26:04,300 DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T REMEMBER. 655 00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,467 YOU SCREWED ME, KLARIK. 656 00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:07,067 I SCREWED YOU? YEAH. 657 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,534 YOU SHOULD'VE UPPED YOUR PRICE. 658 00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:10,267 I HAD A VERY FAIR PRICE. 659 00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,767 SO I WAS MORE FAIR. 660 00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:15,200 IS IT A CRIME TO BE MORE FAIR? 661 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,167 I HAD A DEAL, YOU KNOW IT. 662 00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,868 I KNOW NOTHING. 663 00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:21,133 EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN. I'M SORRY. 664 00:26:21,133 --> 00:26:24,234 WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST, 665 00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:27,834 SPECIFICALLY, TWO WEEKS FROM NEXT SUNDAY-- THE 12th. 666 00:26:27,834 --> 00:26:31,734 SO, IF--IF WE COULD EITHER MOVE THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY 667 00:26:31,734 --> 00:26:33,133 OR THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY-- 668 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:35,033 [RASPBERRY] ENGAGEMENT PARTY. 669 00:26:35,033 --> 00:26:36,968 THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. 670 00:26:36,968 --> 00:26:39,467 TRUTHFULLY, UP UNTIL FIVE WEEKS AGO, 671 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:42,567 I THOUGHT MY SON WAS GAY. 672 00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,801 DAD, DON'T START THIS AGAIN. 673 00:26:44,801 --> 00:26:47,801 WHAT AM I STARTING? WHO AM I? 674 00:26:47,801 --> 00:26:51,434 I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED GUY. TO ME, YOU'RE GAY. 675 00:26:51,434 --> 00:26:54,501 ALL RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE CUT TO THE CHASE? 676 00:26:54,501 --> 00:26:56,067 WHO'S GOING TO CHANGE THEIR PARTY DATE? 677 00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:02,634 HOW MUCH? 678 00:27:02,634 --> 00:27:05,100 HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH? 679 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,133 HOW MUCH? YEAH. GIVE ME A NUMBER. 680 00:27:07,133 --> 00:27:08,901 A NUMBER? 681 00:27:08,901 --> 00:27:11,067 YEAH, A PRICE. 682 00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:13,400 I GIVE YOU MONEY, YOU TAKE YOUR PARTY TO ANOTHER SUNDAY. 683 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:14,501 DAD-- ZIGGY! 684 00:27:14,501 --> 00:27:15,734 THAT'S ENOUGH. 685 00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,033 IT REALLY IS. JAMIE. 686 00:27:17,033 --> 00:27:19,033 SORRY, LISA, THERE COMES A POINT. 687 00:27:19,033 --> 00:27:20,601 MY PARENTS DON'T NEED YOUR DIRTY HULA-HOOP MONEY. 688 00:27:20,601 --> 00:27:24,501 YOU CAN'T WALK INTO THEIR HOME, CRITICIZING AND DISPARAGING. 689 00:27:24,501 --> 00:27:26,701 THEY'RE NOT AN APPLIANCE OR TOASTER. 690 00:27:26,701 --> 00:27:28,400 THESE ARE PEOPLE. 691 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,267 YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON 45 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. 692 00:27:30,267 --> 00:27:31,701 YOU CAN'T JUST BUY THAT. 693 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,100 I'LL GIVE YOU $10,000. 694 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:41,968 [BOTH] SOLD. 695 00:27:59,467 --> 00:28:01,734 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, EVERYBODY? 696 00:28:01,734 --> 00:28:04,234 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? 697 00:28:04,234 --> 00:28:06,167 WHY AREN'T YOU STANDING NEXT TO YOUR WIFE? 698 00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:07,934 BECAUSE I'M NOT. 699 00:28:07,934 --> 00:28:09,534 MAY I HAVE EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION? 700 00:28:09,534 --> 00:28:11,534 I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. 701 00:28:11,534 --> 00:28:13,634 GO STAND NEXT TO YOUR WIFE. 702 00:28:13,634 --> 00:28:15,934 TABBOULEH? 703 00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:16,901 OHH! 704 00:28:18,033 --> 00:28:19,667 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? 705 00:28:20,934 --> 00:28:25,000 I'LL GIVE YOU EACH 60 BUCKS FOR YOUR ATTENTION. 706 00:28:28,467 --> 00:28:30,801 SUCKERS! I WOULD'VE GONE TO 80. 707 00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:35,400 FIRST, LET ME SAY I AM SURE 708 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,834 THAT YOU ARE AS SURPRISED AS I AM 709 00:28:37,834 --> 00:28:42,267 TO BE HERE TO TOAST MY SON'S ENGAGEMENT. 710 00:28:42,267 --> 00:28:44,267 I THOUGHT FOR THE SURE THE KID WAS GAY. 711 00:28:48,033 --> 00:28:52,901 MY SON SANFORD MET A WONDERFUL GIRL... 712 00:28:52,901 --> 00:28:55,133 DUMPED HER... 713 00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:58,467 AND THEN MET LISA, BUT I KID. I KID. 714 00:29:01,434 --> 00:29:05,200 AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NUTS AND BOLTS 715 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:09,367 OF THE 218-PAGE PRE-NUP BEING HAMMERED OUT, 716 00:29:09,367 --> 00:29:11,667 AND WE CAN ALL GATHER TOGETHER 717 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:13,634 AT THE WEDDING TO SAY, 718 00:29:13,634 --> 00:29:15,100 "GO FIGURE." 719 00:29:17,267 --> 00:29:19,901 AND SO NOW WE RAISE OUR GLASSES 720 00:29:19,901 --> 00:29:22,534 TO MY SON SANFORD-- 721 00:29:22,534 --> 00:29:23,734 HEAR, HEAR. HEAR, HEAR. 722 00:29:23,734 --> 00:29:26,267 AND TO HIS FIANC�E LISA. 723 00:29:26,267 --> 00:29:27,367 ENJOY YOURSELVES! 724 00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:28,601 AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, 725 00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:29,834 DON'T BREAK ANYTHING! 726 00:29:31,901 --> 00:29:33,601 AHH! 727 00:29:33,601 --> 00:29:36,901 YOU GOT TO COME TO MY CLUB NEXT WEEKEND, 728 00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:41,567 AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT DOOKIE BALL. 729 00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:43,334 "DOOKIE BALL"? 730 00:29:43,334 --> 00:29:45,601 YEAH. IT'S GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION. 731 00:29:45,601 --> 00:29:48,400 HONEY, CONGRATULATIONS. 732 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,234 OH, THANK YOU. 733 00:29:50,234 --> 00:29:52,300 I'M NOT FEELING GREAT. I'M GOING TO GO. 734 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,400 DID YOU TALK TO HIM? 735 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,467 THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE. 736 00:29:55,467 --> 00:29:57,934 O.K., BUT AT LEAST COME SAY GOODBYE TO SANFORD. 737 00:29:57,934 --> 00:29:59,801 THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 738 00:29:59,801 --> 00:30:01,767 YOU GOT A GREAT GIRL THERE. 739 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:02,834 DON'T I THOUGH? 740 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:05,000 HEY, SANFORD, JAMIE WANTS TO SAY GOODBYE. 741 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,567 I WISH YOU EVERY HAPPINESS. 742 00:30:06,567 --> 00:30:07,534 THANKS. 743 00:30:07,534 --> 00:30:08,667 AMEN. 744 00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,067 THERE YOU ARE. 745 00:30:10,067 --> 00:30:12,634 I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT. 746 00:30:12,634 --> 00:30:14,367 WE WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD. 747 00:30:14,367 --> 00:30:16,100 I WANT TO TELL YOU-- 748 00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,400 IN THE END, MONEY MEANS NOTHING. 749 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,400 OH, I WOULDN'T SAY NOTHING. 750 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,767 IT MEANS SOMETHING, BUT VERY LITTLE COMPARED TO LOVE. 751 00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:24,400 DAD, THAT'S TRUE. 752 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,200 BUT TRUST EVEN MORE THAN LOVE, DON'T YOU THINK? 753 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,334 WHAT'S LOVE IF THERE'S NO TRUST? 754 00:30:29,334 --> 00:30:32,167 HMM, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. TRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING. 755 00:30:32,167 --> 00:30:36,334 YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY? APPARENTLYTRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE. 756 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,968 I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. 757 00:30:38,968 --> 00:30:41,100 WHERE YOU GOING? I DIDN'T SAY-- HE SAID IT. 758 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:42,801 DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG? 759 00:30:42,801 --> 00:30:43,567 NO, NO. SHE'S JUST... 760 00:30:50,234 --> 00:30:51,601 HEY, HEY. 761 00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:53,334 YOU ARE SUCH A JACKASS. 762 00:30:53,334 --> 00:30:54,501 I'M A JACKASS? 763 00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:56,167 YES. 764 00:30:56,167 --> 00:30:57,501 FINE, SO LEAVE ME FOR ANOTHER GUY. 765 00:30:57,501 --> 00:30:59,734 I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. GOD! 766 00:30:59,734 --> 00:31:01,400 YOU'RE HITTING ME. INTERESTING. 767 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,801 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 768 00:31:03,801 --> 00:31:05,400 I DON'T KNOW. 769 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,067 LET'S GO HOME AND TALK. 770 00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:09,234 NO, I CAN'T. I DON'T LIKE OUR HOME. 771 00:31:09,234 --> 00:31:11,467 DO YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE? 772 00:31:11,467 --> 00:31:12,367 NOT PARTICULARLY. O.K., FINE. 773 00:31:12,367 --> 00:31:13,667 WHERE YOU GOING? 774 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,167 IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK-- WHO SAID THAT? 775 00:31:15,167 --> 00:31:16,767 YOU DID. I DID NOT. 776 00:31:16,767 --> 00:31:18,267 I JUST SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO TALK?" 777 00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:21,801 I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID IT. 778 00:31:21,801 --> 00:31:25,133 I'M SO TIRED OF NOT TALKING TO YOU. 779 00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:27,334 THEN TALK TO ME. 780 00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:33,400 HOW YOU DOING? 781 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,434 I'M FINE. 782 00:31:37,367 --> 00:31:39,200 I DON'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE. 783 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,667 IF YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO TRUST ME AGAIN-- 784 00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,634 DID I SAY THAT? NO, BUT-- 785 00:31:43,634 --> 00:31:44,801 STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH. 786 00:31:44,801 --> 00:31:45,901 I'M SORRY. THANK YOU. 787 00:31:45,901 --> 00:31:48,434 GEEZ. ALL RIGHT... 788 00:31:48,434 --> 00:31:50,734 GO--GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 789 00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:52,934 YOU DON'T TRUST ME ANYMORE... 790 00:31:52,934 --> 00:31:55,033 BECAUSE... 791 00:31:55,033 --> 00:31:56,501 BECAUSE? 792 00:31:57,767 --> 00:32:01,667 BECAUSE I--I KISSED ANOTHER MAN? 793 00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:06,200 YEAH. THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT A PLUS, YOU KNOW. 794 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,767 THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT ENDEARS YOU MORE TO ME. 795 00:32:10,934 --> 00:32:13,434 O.K., LISTEN TO ME. 796 00:32:13,434 --> 00:32:16,501 I AM SO SORRY. 797 00:32:16,501 --> 00:32:18,501 I COULD NOT BE MORE SORRY. 798 00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:20,767 IF I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE 799 00:32:20,767 --> 00:32:22,234 EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, 800 00:32:22,234 --> 00:32:24,734 THEN I WILL, O.K.? I AM THAT SORRY. 801 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,400 I THOUGHT YOU DID A VERY NICE JOB AT THE PARTY. 802 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,534 THANKS. 803 00:32:52,367 --> 00:32:55,734 HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL OF A SUDDEN? 804 00:32:55,734 --> 00:32:58,200 IT'S NOT ALL OF A SUDDEN. 805 00:32:59,901 --> 00:33:03,200 WHY DO YOU THINK I KEPT SAYING WE NEED TIME TOGETHER? 806 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,467 WHY I KEPT PUSHING FOR US TO GET AWAY TOGETHER? 807 00:33:06,467 --> 00:33:07,634 SOMETHING WAS GOING ON. 808 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:09,000 WITH BERKUS? 809 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,133 WITH US. 810 00:33:11,133 --> 00:33:14,234 THIS GUY IS NOT THE PROBLEM. 811 00:33:14,234 --> 00:33:17,000 YOU KISSED HIM. 812 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,901 YOU KNOW? 813 00:33:18,901 --> 00:33:20,200 YOU KISSED HIM. 814 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,234 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE FOR ME TO IMAGINE? 815 00:33:23,234 --> 00:33:26,400 THAT ANOTHER GUY'S LIPS WERE ON YOUR LIPS. 816 00:33:28,367 --> 00:33:29,701 WHAT KIND OF KISS WAS THAT? 817 00:33:29,701 --> 00:33:31,267 YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME. 818 00:33:31,267 --> 00:33:35,167 LIKE WHERE... WERE HIS HANDS? YOUR HANDS? 819 00:33:35,167 --> 00:33:37,667 STOP IT. STOP IT. WHAT WERE YOU DOING? 820 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,767 REALLY, STOP IT. PULLING HIM CLOSE TO YOU. 821 00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:42,501 YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW? YOU'RE DOING WHAT? 822 00:33:42,501 --> 00:33:43,567 HE LEANED IN-- I-- 823 00:33:43,567 --> 00:33:45,534 SHUT UP! SHUT UP NOW. 824 00:33:45,534 --> 00:33:47,167 STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT. 825 00:33:47,167 --> 00:33:50,234 HOW DO I KNOW THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE? 826 00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:51,467 BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU. 827 00:33:51,467 --> 00:33:53,467 SO WHAT'S THAT? 828 00:33:53,467 --> 00:33:55,133 HONESTY'S YOUR STRONGEST PERSONALITY TRAIT RIGHT NOW? 829 00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:57,133 ACTUALLY, YES. 830 00:33:57,133 --> 00:33:58,334 WHAT HAPPENED IN ALBANY? 831 00:33:58,334 --> 00:33:59,667 NOTHING HAPPENED IN ALBANY. 832 00:33:59,667 --> 00:34:01,100 O.K., SAYS YOU. 833 00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:03,300 I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ALBANY. 834 00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:05,367 I TURNED AROUND AND CAME BACK 835 00:34:05,367 --> 00:34:08,434 BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU. 836 00:34:08,434 --> 00:34:10,467 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW. I JUST-- 837 00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:11,267 I JUST-- 838 00:34:15,334 --> 00:34:17,167 I JUST HATE THIS. 839 00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:18,868 WHAT? 840 00:34:18,868 --> 00:34:22,434 I'M GOING TO BE 40, STANDING IN A PARK, 841 00:34:22,434 --> 00:34:24,567 ASKING YOU QUESTIONS LIKE, "WHERE WERE THE GUY'S HANDS?" 842 00:34:24,567 --> 00:34:27,534 I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO-- 843 00:34:27,534 --> 00:34:31,300 IT'S JUST SO PEDESTRIAN. 844 00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:34,067 WHO SAID WE'RE NOT PEDESTRIAN? 845 00:34:34,067 --> 00:34:35,567 I ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT YOU AND I 846 00:34:35,567 --> 00:34:38,501 WOULD BE IMMUNE TO THIS CRAP. 847 00:34:38,501 --> 00:34:39,934 WELL, WE'RE NOT. 848 00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:44,667 WHEN I STARTED WORKING SO HARD THIS YEAR 849 00:34:44,667 --> 00:34:46,267 AND PUT IN LONGER HOURS-- 850 00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,634 I ALWAYS SUPPORTED YOU. 851 00:34:47,634 --> 00:34:49,067 YES, YOU DID. 852 00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:51,167 I SAID GO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. 853 00:34:51,167 --> 00:34:52,634 YES, YOU DID. 854 00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:54,234 WHY? I BELIEVED IN, TRUSTED-- 855 00:34:54,234 --> 00:34:55,601 NO, BECAUSE YOU LIKED IT. 856 00:34:55,601 --> 00:34:57,834 I LIKED YOU WORKING WITH THIS GUY? 857 00:34:57,834 --> 00:34:59,901 NO. ME NOT BEING AROUND. 858 00:34:59,901 --> 00:35:02,601 IT WAS O.K. FOR YOU TO NOT BE AROUND. 859 00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,167 EVERYTHING WAS EVEN. NOTHING WOULD BE YOUR FAULT. 860 00:35:04,167 --> 00:35:05,734 WHAT WOULDN'T BE MY FAULT? 861 00:35:05,734 --> 00:35:07,501 WHATEVER IS WRONG WITH US-- 862 00:35:07,501 --> 00:35:09,100 HOWEVER MUCH WE DRIFT APART, 863 00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:10,400 HOWEVER MUCH WE DON'T TALK. 864 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,968 WHEN DON'T WE TALK? 865 00:35:11,968 --> 00:35:13,868 COME ON. 866 00:35:13,868 --> 00:35:16,334 IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS HOW MANY TIMES 867 00:35:16,334 --> 00:35:17,634 HAVE WE EATEN DINNER TOGETHER? 868 00:35:17,634 --> 00:35:19,634 HOW MANY TIMES 869 00:35:19,634 --> 00:35:22,033 HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING FUN ON A WEEKEND? 870 00:35:22,033 --> 00:35:24,601 WHEN DID WE LAST MAKE LOVE BECAUSE WE WANTED TO, 871 00:35:24,601 --> 00:35:27,601 NOT BECAUSE IT WAS GOOD CLINICAL TIMING? 872 00:35:27,601 --> 00:35:29,100 TELL ME. WHEN? 873 00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:31,334 I DON'T KNOW. 874 00:35:31,334 --> 00:35:34,067 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF MARRIAGE? 875 00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:37,033 DON'T YOU THINK WE DESERVE BETTER? 876 00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,567 FIRST, I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY 877 00:35:38,567 --> 00:35:42,000 WHO TALKS MORE THAN WE DO. I WOULDN'T WANT TO. 878 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,434 WE'RE TALKING, BUT NOBODY IS SAYING 879 00:35:43,434 --> 00:35:45,934 THE NASTY, OLD, UGLY TRUTH. 880 00:35:45,934 --> 00:35:47,367 WHICH IS WHAT? 881 00:35:47,367 --> 00:35:48,667 THIS ISN'T WORKING. 882 00:35:50,467 --> 00:35:53,267 I REACH OUT FOR YOU, YOU'RE NOT THERE. 883 00:35:53,267 --> 00:35:54,834 I'M CERTAINLY NOT THERE FOR YOU. 884 00:35:54,834 --> 00:35:56,367 YOU'VE BEEN WORKING-- 885 00:35:56,367 --> 00:35:58,567 I'VE BEEN WORKING. YOU'VE BEEN WORKING. 886 00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:00,167 WE'RE KILLING OURSELVES, 887 00:36:00,167 --> 00:36:01,767 SAVING AND PLANNING, AND FOR WHAT? 888 00:36:01,767 --> 00:36:05,067 FOR THIS BABY THAT'S NOT COMING. 889 00:36:05,067 --> 00:36:07,033 WE'VE BEEN TRYING A YEAR. IT'S NOT HAPPENING. 890 00:36:07,033 --> 00:36:09,634 IS THAT MY FAULT? 891 00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:12,133 NO, IT'S NOT. GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 892 00:36:12,133 --> 00:36:13,067 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A CHILD. 893 00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:14,300 THANK YOU. 894 00:36:14,300 --> 00:36:17,200 IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I SAID? 895 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,267 I'M NOT SAYING THAT! 896 00:36:19,267 --> 00:36:21,868 FINE. ALL RIGHT. 897 00:36:21,868 --> 00:36:24,968 IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT SOMETHING 898 00:36:24,968 --> 00:36:27,067 THAT MAKES ME FEEL PARTICULARLY SWELL, YOU KNOW. 899 00:36:27,067 --> 00:36:29,634 I'M NOT EXACTLY DOING MY JOB IN THAT DEPARTMENT. 900 00:36:29,634 --> 00:36:32,000 YOU WERE TESTED. YOU'RE FINE. 901 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,267 SO WERE YOU. 902 00:36:33,267 --> 00:36:34,734 YEAH, BUT COME ON. 903 00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:36,601 WHAT? 904 00:36:36,601 --> 00:36:38,400 LET'S STOP KIDDING OURSELVES. 905 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,868 IF THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, IT'S ME. 906 00:36:39,868 --> 00:36:42,133 NO. NO. 907 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,901 LOOK, THE TRUTH IS, YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE KIDS, 908 00:36:44,901 --> 00:36:46,067 WHEREAS I-- 909 00:36:46,067 --> 00:36:47,567 WHAT'S THAT MEAN? IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS. 910 00:36:47,567 --> 00:36:49,400 YOU CAN HAVE KIDS, SO IF I CAN'T, 911 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,734 THEN, FINE. 912 00:36:50,734 --> 00:36:52,667 ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU'LL MOVE ON. 913 00:36:52,667 --> 00:36:55,133 MOVE ON? YES, YOU'LL LEAVE-- 914 00:36:55,133 --> 00:36:56,200 LEAVE? YOU COULD. 915 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,701 THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK? 916 00:36:57,701 --> 00:36:59,267 IF I WAS IN YOUR PLACE, 917 00:36:59,267 --> 00:37:02,067 AND IT'S MY ONE CHANCE TO FATHER A CHILD-- 918 00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,767 WELL, THEN SHAME ON YOU! 919 00:37:05,167 --> 00:37:07,901 SHAME ON YOU IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, 920 00:37:07,901 --> 00:37:10,968 THAT I WOULD LEAVE YOU? 921 00:37:10,968 --> 00:37:12,534 I'M NOT SAYING YOU WILL. 922 00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:14,567 NO, BUT IF I DO, IN CASE I DO, 923 00:37:14,567 --> 00:37:15,567 YOU GO FIND ANOTHER GUY, 924 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,267 AND WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME FIRST? 925 00:37:19,534 --> 00:37:20,801 MAYBE. 926 00:37:26,467 --> 00:37:28,734 HOW CAN YOU DOUBT MY LOVE FOR YOU? 927 00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:32,133 BECAUSE I DO. 928 00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:42,334 WELL, THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT? 929 00:37:42,334 --> 00:37:44,300 YOU WILL NEVER GET IT. 930 00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:45,501 WHAT? 931 00:37:45,501 --> 00:37:46,667 YOU JUST-- 932 00:37:49,133 --> 00:37:53,033 IF YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS, I CAN'T HAVE KIDS. 933 00:37:53,033 --> 00:37:55,868 WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU HAPPENS TO ME. 934 00:37:57,100 --> 00:37:58,167 WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS TO US. 935 00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:01,868 DO YOU NOT GET THAT BY NOW? 936 00:38:01,868 --> 00:38:04,267 I THOUGHT I DID. 937 00:38:07,667 --> 00:38:10,000 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A BETTER HUSBAND. 938 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,868 I REALLY DON'T, 939 00:38:11,868 --> 00:38:15,200 AND I THINK I'M PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 940 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,267 YOU ARE. 941 00:38:16,267 --> 00:38:17,868 THANK YOU. 942 00:38:17,868 --> 00:38:20,200 AND...SO AM I. 943 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,667 YES, YOU ARE. YES, OF COURSE. 944 00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:24,200 I THINK WE'RE BOTH PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 945 00:38:28,501 --> 00:38:30,734 AND YET, NOBODY HERE IS HAPPY. 946 00:38:40,601 --> 00:38:41,868 I TOLD YOU. 947 00:38:45,501 --> 00:38:46,534 WHAT? 948 00:38:46,534 --> 00:38:49,601 I TOLD YOU WHEN I MET YOU. 949 00:38:49,601 --> 00:38:52,634 TWO PEOPLE... TOGETHER FOREVER-- 950 00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:54,734 IT'S NOT REALISTIC. I THINK IT'S... 951 00:38:54,734 --> 00:38:56,067 I THINK IT'S TOO HARD. 952 00:38:58,167 --> 00:38:59,567 YES, IT IS. 953 00:38:59,567 --> 00:39:01,300 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 954 00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,367 YES, IT IS. 955 00:39:03,367 --> 00:39:05,667 SO MAYBE THIS IS IT. 956 00:39:05,667 --> 00:39:08,534 WE GAVE IT OUR BEST SHOT. 957 00:39:08,534 --> 00:39:12,567 THIS IS AS FAR AS WE GOT. 958 00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:14,701 IT'S A LOT FARTHER THAN MOST PEOPLE GET, YOU KNOW. 959 00:39:17,567 --> 00:39:18,501 MAYBE. 960 00:39:23,501 --> 00:39:24,667 REALLY? 961 00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:29,300 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO BETTER THAN THIS. 962 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,734 SO... 963 00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:41,701 SEW BUTTONS. 964 00:39:50,033 --> 00:39:54,734 UM, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR, AND... 965 00:39:54,734 --> 00:39:56,767 WOULD YOU TELL YOUR SISTER THAT I'M SORRY? 966 00:39:56,767 --> 00:39:58,767 I--I DON'T-- O.K. 967 00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:53,868 AM I DREAMING? 968 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,534 I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY JUST SO SORRY. 969 00:44:06,534 --> 00:44:07,934 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY. 970 00:44:07,934 --> 00:44:09,300 I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO BE SORRY. 971 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,634 I JUST WANT YOU. 972 00:44:13,634 --> 00:44:15,133 I LOVE YOU. 973 00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:19,834 I JUST LOVE YOU. 974 00:44:24,767 --> 00:44:26,868 I DON'T CARE HOW HARD IT IS. 975 00:44:26,868 --> 00:44:29,367 I DON'T, EITHER. 976 00:44:29,367 --> 00:44:30,400 I JUST REALLY-- I LOVE YOU... 977 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,667 IS THE THING. 978 00:45:16,367 --> 00:45:17,968 [TIMER TICKING] 979 00:45:24,267 --> 00:45:25,334 [DING] 980 00:45:25,384 --> 00:45:29,934 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 65401

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