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1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:04,367
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,167
I WAS JUST THINKING--
I'M LEAVING--
3
00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:08,767
DO YOU WANT
TO SPLIT A CAB?
4
00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:11,634
ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT
I'D TAKE A WALK.
5
00:00:11,634 --> 00:00:14,167
O.K. DO YOU WANT
TO SPLIT A WALK?
6
00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:15,567
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
7
00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:17,033
I DON'T KNOW.
8
00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:19,367
I REALLY WANTED
TO GO WITH HER.
9
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,934
JAMIE AND I AREN'T DOING
SO GREAT RIGHT NOW.
10
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,868
WE HAVE TO TALK.
11
00:00:29,868 --> 00:00:32,267
WE TOOK A WALK
AROUND THE BLOCK.
12
00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:36,434
SHE GOT INTO A CAB,
AND I CAME HOME.
13
00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,200
BUT IT WASN'T
JUST A WALK.
14
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,501
I KISSED DOUG BERKUS.
15
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:43,300
I GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE.
16
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,868
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
17
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:45,968
I DON'T KNOW.
18
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,801
ARE YOU COMING BACK?
I DON'T KNOW.
19
00:00:47,801 --> 00:00:49,167
SHOULDN'T WE TALK
ABOUT THIS?
20
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:52,601
NO. I CAN'T TALK
ABOUT THIS NOW. I CAN'T...TALK.
21
00:00:52,601 --> 00:00:54,100
O.K., WAIT, JUST WAIT.
22
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,567
WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN NOW? WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
23
00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:57,934
I DON'T KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW.
24
00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:00,901
I'M--I'M--
25
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:03,701
I DON'T KNOW.
26
00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:16,267
[WOMAN] OHH!
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
27
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:17,334
OH, NO.
28
00:01:17,334 --> 00:01:18,634
[IRA]
WHO IS IT?
29
00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,834
[PAUL]
IT'S ME, SPLINKY. OPEN UP.
30
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:24,400
PAULIE, YOU KNOW
WHAT TIME IT IS?
31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,868
IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO OPEN THE DOOR.
32
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:30,167
COME ON.
33
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:31,501
WHAT ARE YOU
WATCHING IN THERE?
34
00:01:31,501 --> 00:01:33,501
NOTHING. WHAT THE HELL
IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
35
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:37,534
OH, NO.
36
00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:38,567
YEP.
37
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:40,267
PAULIE, I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TELL HER.
38
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,434
I DIDN'T LISTEN
TO YOU, AND--
39
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:45,868
I DIDN'T ACTUALLY
TELL HER. I TRIED.
40
00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,367
BEFORE I COULD TELL HER,
41
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:50,601
SHE TELLS ME SHE KISSED
THIS GUY IN HER OFFICE.
42
00:01:50,601 --> 00:01:53,701
YOU KNOW THIS GUY BERKUS?
WELL, SHE KISSED HIM.
43
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,734
SHE DIDN'T
ACTUALLY KISS HIM.
44
00:01:55,734 --> 00:01:58,200
HE KISSED HER,
BUT SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY STOP IT.
45
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,834
SO WELCOME TO MY LIFE.
46
00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:02,601
HEY! NAKED GIRL.
47
00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:04,434
DO YOU SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON BEHIND YOUR COUCH?
48
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:05,968
PAULIE,
THIS IS JOYCE.
49
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,767
JOYCE, THIS IS
MY COUSIN PAUL.
50
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:09,033
HI.
HI, PAUL.
51
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,534
I CAN'T
BELIEVE THIS.
52
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,534
EXCUSE ME. SORRY.
53
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:14,934
DO YOU STILL HAVE
THOSE FAT-FREE COOKIES?
54
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:17,167
YEAH. ON THE SHELF,
NEXT TO THE CHIPS.
55
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:40,100
NO. STAY, STAY. JUST...
56
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,133
I CAN'T FIND THEM.
57
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:45,434
THEY'RE UNDERNEATH
THE GOOD COOKIES-- THE ONES WITH THE FAT.
58
00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:47,300
EVERYTHING'S
SO DIFFERENT NOW.
59
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,601
THE AIR'S
A DIFFERENT COLOR.
60
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,400
I FEEL SO TOTALLY OFF.
61
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,667
I WAS WALKING HERE--
I CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH.
62
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:56,667
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
63
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,067
WE'RE GOING
TO FIGURE IT OUT. I PROMISE.
64
00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,968
WHAT GOOD COOKIES
WITH THE FAT?
65
00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:04,067
JUST A SECOND.
ALL RIGHT?
66
00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:13,100
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
67
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,434
I GAVE HIM THOSE SHEETS.
68
00:03:19,434 --> 00:03:20,434
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
69
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,968
COME IN! IT'S OPEN!
70
00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:26,267
HI, JAMIE.
WANT TO PLAY TWISTER?
71
00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:29,033
TWISTER? NO, THANKS.
72
00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:32,434
HOW ABOUT
A THREE-WAY GAME OF CHUTES AND LADDERS?
73
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,601
MAYBE LATER.
74
00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:35,300
I'LL GO SET IT UP.
75
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,934
LISA...HELP.
76
00:03:38,934 --> 00:03:39,968
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
77
00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:41,000
I'M IN TROUBLE.
78
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,167
WHAT'S UP?
79
00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:44,968
I KISSED DOUG BERKUS.
80
00:03:44,968 --> 00:03:49,133
THAT GUY
FROM THE OFFICE? HE'S SO CUTE!
81
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,434
O.K.,
REALLY NOT THE POINT.
82
00:03:51,434 --> 00:03:52,801
I KNOW.
83
00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:55,133
I MAY HAVE
JUST SCREWED UP
84
00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:57,701
WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
A VERY NICE LITTLE LIFE.
85
00:03:57,701 --> 00:03:58,868
HE'LL GET OVER IT.
86
00:03:58,868 --> 00:04:00,734
MINE. MY LIFE.
87
00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:03,033
ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOT
THE END OF THE WORLD.
88
00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:03,901
COME ON.
89
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:07,467
YOU DIDN'T, UH...
90
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,067
NO. GOD.
OF COURSE NOT.
91
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,400
YOU'LL FEEL BAD
FOR A LITTLE BIT.
92
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,100
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
LIFE GOES ON.
93
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,467
PAUL LEFT.
94
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,534
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
95
00:04:17,534 --> 00:04:19,100
I TOLD HIM
WHAT HAPPENED.
96
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,133
HE GOT UPSET AND LEFT.
97
00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:23,567
I COULDN'T STAY
IN THE HOUSE ALONE.
98
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,434
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO. WHAT DO I DO?
99
00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:27,767
YOU'RE ASKING ME?
100
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,067
YES.
101
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,167
COOL.
102
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:35,400
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
103
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,634
YEAH?
104
00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:37,834
IS HE THERE?
105
00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:39,067
YEAH. IS SHE THERE?
106
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,234
UH-HUH.
107
00:04:40,234 --> 00:04:42,367
NOPE.
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
108
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,534
YOU PUT HER ON.
I'LL PUT HIM ON.
109
00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:48,100
SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO HIM.
110
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,767
SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.
111
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,868
SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO ME?
112
00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:55,934
NO, NO.
IDON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER.
113
00:04:55,934 --> 00:04:58,067
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK TO HER.
114
00:04:58,067 --> 00:05:00,300
WHAT?
VERY MATURE.
115
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,000
HE SAYS HE DOESN'T
WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
116
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,067
VERY MATURE.
117
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:06,133
TOLD YOU.
118
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,033
THEY SAID
YOU'RE VERY MATURE.
119
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:12,601
VERY MATURE SARCASTIC,
OR VERY MATURE SINCERE?
120
00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:14,601
I'D HAVE TO GUESS
SARCASTIC.
121
00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:21,100
I DON'T FEEL
COMFORTABLE TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW.
122
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,067
HUH?
123
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,167
HUH?
WHAT?
124
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,100
WHAT?
NEVER MIND.
125
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:24,968
I DON'T KNOW.
NEVER MIND.
126
00:05:24,968 --> 00:05:25,934
SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
127
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,968
SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
128
00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:28,734
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
HOPELESS,
129
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:31,000
OR SHE DOESN'T KNOW,
LIKE, AMBIVALENT?
130
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,501
GET ON THE PHONE.
131
00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:33,834
NO, NO.
132
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,167
WHAT DID HE SAY?
HOLD ON A SECOND.
133
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,000
HOLD ON A SECOND.
134
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,067
I GOT NOTHING
TO SAY TO HER.
135
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,934
HE HAS NOTHING
TO SAY TO HER.
136
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:40,267
HE HAS NOTHING
TO SAY TO YOU.
137
00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:41,767
HE HAS NOTHING
TO SAY TO ME?
138
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:43,634
WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?
WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?
139
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:46,300
A--SHE SHOULDN'T
BE TALKING TO ANYBODY NOW.
140
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,734
SHE SHOULDN'T
BE TALKING AT ALL.
141
00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,534
SHE SHOULD LOOK
INSIDE HER SOUL
142
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:53,167
FOR SOME ANSWERS
TO VERY STICKY QUESTIONS
143
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,167
ABOUT THE DEFINITION
OF MARRIAGE
144
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:58,767
AND PROPRIETY
AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF ACTIONS
145
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,434
AND THE RAMIFICATIONS
THEREOF.
146
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,601
ANSWERS TO ALL KINDS
OF STUFF.
147
00:06:02,601 --> 00:06:04,634
AND 2--
AND DEUX...
148
00:06:04,634 --> 00:06:06,167
IN A LARGER SENSE--
149
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:07,634
WHAT KIND OF PERSON
IS SHE?
150
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,834
WHAT KIND OF PERSON
IS SHE?
151
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:11,734
WHO IS THIS WOMAN
THAT I THOUGHT I KNEW,
152
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:15,701
WHO HAS MADE A MOCKERY
OF EVERYTHING THAT I HELD SACRED?
153
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:18,400
AND WHEN WE MADE
OUR SACRED MARRIAGE VOWS--
154
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,167
FOR BETTER
OR FOR WORSE,
155
00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,767
FOR SICKNESS
OR FOR POORER--
156
00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:25,300
I DON'T RECALL
ANYBODY MAKING MENTION
157
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,334
OF THE BRIDE
KISSING DOUGLAS BERKUS.
158
00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:29,000
ABOUT THE BRIDE KISSING
THIS CLOWN BERKUS.
159
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,033
AND I'LL TELL YOU,
160
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:33,300
THE NERVE,
THE UNMITIGATED GALL
161
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,033
OF HER TEARING APART
THIS UNION
162
00:06:35,033 --> 00:06:36,300
OUT OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS
163
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:39,100
LEAVES ANY THINKING,
FEELING HUMAN BEING
164
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,767
WITH A PIT
IN THEIR STOMACH.
165
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,167
AND TELL HER
I WANT MY DOG BACK.
166
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:48,067
TELL HIM PEOPLE
WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES,
167
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,968
THAT NONE OF US
IS PERFECT,
168
00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:54,501
AND UNTIL HE'S WALKED
A MILE IN MY SHOES, HE HAS NOT WALKED.
169
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,000
BOY, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE.
170
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,634
AND TELL HIM IF HE
STOPS BY THE APARTMENT TO WATER THE PLANTS.
171
00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:04,167
AND ALSO I LEFT A FROZEN
CHICKEN ON THE COUNTER.
172
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:05,901
IF HE WANTS TO PICK
UP MURRAY,
173
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:07,667
HE CAN COME BY MY OFFICE
AND GET HIM TOMORROW
174
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:09,133
BEFORE HIS JOB
INTERVIEW.
175
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:12,334
AND TELL HIM GOODBYE.
176
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:14,267
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
177
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,767
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
178
00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:18,567
JUST TELL HER
GOODBYE.
179
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:19,434
GOODBYE.
180
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:26,467
HEY.
181
00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,334
LOOK WHO'S LATE
INSTEAD OF ME.
182
00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:30,667
WE COULDN'T GET
ON THE SUBWAY.
183
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,467
MURRAY WOULDN'T SAY
HE'S A SEEING EYE DOG.
184
00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:33,901
PICK A BUTTON.
185
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,434
THE BUTTONS.
186
00:07:35,434 --> 00:07:37,434
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE BUTTONS.
187
00:07:37,434 --> 00:07:39,133
"BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR."
WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY?
188
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,634
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
189
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,167
SO THIS IS MURRAY.
190
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,334
YES.
191
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:48,167
MURRAY, DOUG.
192
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:49,234
DOUG, MURRAY.
193
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,200
HI, MURRAY.
194
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,968
[DING]
195
00:07:51,968 --> 00:07:54,567
LISTEN, JAMIE, I, UH...
196
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:57,934
HEY, CAN WE WAIT
FOR THE NEXT ONE? IS THAT ALL RIGHT?
197
00:07:57,934 --> 00:07:59,300
FOURTH FLOOR, PLEASE.
O.K.
198
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,033
UM, ABOUT YESTERDAY--
DOUG--
199
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:06,801
I DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL
LAST NIGHT.
200
00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:09,968
THAT MAKES 17 OF US.
201
00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:11,434
LOOK, THIS THING
THAT HAPPENED--
202
00:08:11,434 --> 00:08:12,834
DOUG--
203
00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:16,167
CAN I--PLEASE--
LET ME SAY THIS, O.K.?
204
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:19,601
UH, I THOUGHT IN THE BACK
OF MY CRAZY HEAD
205
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:22,934
THAT YOUWANTEDME TO.
206
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,734
NOW, OBVIOUSLY, YOU DIDN'T,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
207
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:26,934
AND IF I HAD NEVER TRIED,
208
00:08:26,934 --> 00:08:29,400
I WOULD NEVER HAVE
FORGIVEN MYSELF. DOUG--
209
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,667
REALLY, I'M--I'M
VERY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS, BUT...
210
00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:37,200
PLEASE KNOW
THAT THIS WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
211
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,367
NO, I KNOW.
212
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,567
I'M REALLY...
AWFULLY FOND OF YOU, JAMIE.
213
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,968
I KNOW THAT.
214
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:47,200
AND MAYBE
IN ANOTHER LIFE, UM--
215
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,000
[DING]
216
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:57,434
IF I THOUGHT
WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS,
217
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,434
I WOULD REALLY
HATE THAT.
218
00:08:59,434 --> 00:09:01,300
MAYBE WE COULD PRETEND
THIS NEVER HAPPENED--
219
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,400
I ALREADY TOLD PAUL.
220
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,000
WHAT?
221
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,367
I TOLD PAUL ABOUT IT.
222
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:06,501
WHY?
223
00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:07,534
BECAUSE I DID.
224
00:09:07,534 --> 00:09:08,968
OH, GREAT.
225
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:10,434
THE STAIRS ARE FASTER.
226
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:11,834
I BET HE WANTS
TO KILL ME.
227
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:13,000
NO, HE DOESN'T.
228
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,767
I HOPE
YOU CAN TELL HIM--
229
00:09:17,634 --> 00:09:19,033
HI.
230
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:20,367
HI.
231
00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:25,200
OH.
232
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,868
HI.
233
00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:27,801
HI.
234
00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,334
WELL...
235
00:09:35,334 --> 00:09:38,133
CAN ANYBODY
THINK OF ANYTHING MORE AWKWARD?
236
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:40,534
HONEY.
237
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,434
OH, ME?
238
00:09:42,434 --> 00:09:43,868
YES, YOU.
239
00:09:43,868 --> 00:09:45,000
I WASN'T SURE.
240
00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,467
LISTEN, I THINK IT'S--
241
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:50,667
[BRAKES SCREECH]
242
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,901
I REALLY DON'T THINK
243
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:54,400
YOU SHOULD SAY
ANYTHING JUST NOW.
244
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,567
IF I--
245
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:58,834
AND I'M REALLY, REALLY
SURE ABOUT THAT FOR YOU.
246
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:01,300
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
247
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,000
THINK THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
248
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,133
THERE'S NOTHING
GOING ON.
249
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:06,934
I REALLY WOULDN'T
CALL IT NOTHING.
250
00:10:06,934 --> 00:10:09,567
I SWEAR TO YOU,
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON.
251
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,434
LOOK HOW NICE
YOU BOTH GET ALONG.
252
00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,300
[ALARM BELL RINGS]
253
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,400
HONEY, THE SECURITY GUYS
COME IF THE ELEVATOR ST--
254
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,601
[RINGING STOPS]
255
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:25,934
[DING]
256
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:31,968
DO YOU WANT TO COME IN
AND TALK FOR A MINUTE?
257
00:10:31,968 --> 00:10:34,968
NO. I JUST WANT TO TALK
TO DOUG FOR A SECOND.
258
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,000
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
259
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,868
I'M JUST GOING
TO TALK TO DOUG.
260
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:59,100
YOU MARRIED?
261
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,667
NO.
262
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:03,567
EVER BEEN MARRIED?
NO.
263
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,167
HMM.
264
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:07,567
BUT I KNOW THAT
IT IS NOT EASY TO--
265
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,901
REALLY?
266
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,234
YES. AND I WANT TO SAY,
PAUL, THAT I'M--
267
00:11:14,234 --> 00:11:15,968
[BRAKES SCREECH]
268
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:19,467
LISTEN, I KNOW
THAT WHATEVER IS WRONG,
269
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:21,367
WHATEVER'S GOING ON
WITH JAMIE AND ME,
270
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:22,701
THAT IS OUR PROBLEM.
271
00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:26,300
WE WILL FIX IT.
THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
272
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:30,067
IT WAS WRONG,
AND I APOLOGIZE TO BOTH OF YOU.
273
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,100
THAT'S VERY SWEET.
274
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,434
I MEAN THAT, PAUL.
275
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:35,834
I UNDERSTAND.
THAT'S AWFULLY CIVILIZED.
276
00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,934
AT THE SAME TIME,
I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU--
277
00:11:37,934 --> 00:11:39,400
AND I MEAN THIS
278
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:44,234
WITH NOTHING
BUT RESPECT FOR YOU AS A PROFESSIONAL...
279
00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:46,834
IF YOU EVERTOUCH
MY WIFE AGAIN--
280
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,400
I WON'T.
281
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,033
[ALARM BELL STARTS]
I PROMISE.
282
00:11:55,968 --> 00:11:57,334
[BELL STOPS]
283
00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:07,434
DID YOU THINK
I WAS GOING TO HIT YOU?
284
00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:09,267
YEAH, I DID.
285
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,434
[DING]
286
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:12,701
GOOD.
287
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:21,801
MURRAY,
I TOLD YOU TO GO BEFORE WE LEFT.
288
00:12:23,901 --> 00:12:25,400
DON'T GIVE ME
THAT LOOK.
289
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,601
UM, MR. BUCHMAN.
290
00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:28,100
HI. YES. PAUL.
291
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,234
HI, PAUL.
292
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:31,100
I'M JANE PAULEY'S
ASSISTANT. HI.
293
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,901
I SEE YOU BROUGHT
A LITTLE FRIEND ALONG.
294
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:35,467
I HAD
A SCHEDULING CONFLICT.
295
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:37,801
I DON'T USUALLY BRING
A DOG TO AN INTERVIEW,
296
00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:39,868
ESPECIALLY A JOB
THAT I REALLY WANT.
297
00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:41,968
I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS JOB.
298
00:12:41,968 --> 00:12:44,300
9 OUT OF 10 INTERVIEWS,
THERE'S NO DOG.
299
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,701
I'M ENTIRELY DOGLESS
THROUGHOUT THE INTERVIEW,
300
00:12:45,701 --> 00:12:47,834
NOT EVEN, LIKE, A PUPPY.
301
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,133
MR. BUCHMAN,
I THINK YOUR DOG--
302
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,501
OOH.
OOH.
303
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:55,834
I BEGGED YOU TO GO
BEFORE WE GOT HERE.
304
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:58,667
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU DO THIS TO ME.
305
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,601
WHY MAURY POVICH?
306
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:06,934
WHAT,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
307
00:13:09,801 --> 00:13:11,400
YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS?
308
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,801
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
309
00:13:33,701 --> 00:13:35,434
[SINGING]
310
00:13:35,434 --> 00:13:37,300
COME ON.
RIGHT ON THE CARPET?
311
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,100
RIGHT BETWEEN
DATE AND LINE.
312
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,033
YOU AIN'T GOING
TO GET THAT JOB.
313
00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:44,834
WHAT DID WE HAVE
IN THAT LAST BAR?
314
00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:45,901
THE SPORTS BAR?
315
00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:47,000
NO. BEFORE THAT.
316
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,234
YES.
THE STRIP CLUB?
317
00:13:48,234 --> 00:13:49,467
IT WAS A MAI TAI.
318
00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:50,634
OW. THAT WAS
THE BIG MISTAKE.
319
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:54,634
BEST THING FOR THAT--
COLD BEER AND SOME KARAOKE.
320
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,434
THIS GUY'S
SLEEPING ON MY COUCH--
321
00:13:57,434 --> 00:13:59,667
3:00 IN THE MORNING
322
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,133
WATCHING FLIPPER
IN HIS UNDERWEAR AND CRYING.
323
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,901
EXCUSE ME
FOR HAVING EMOTIONS.
324
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:07,234
YOU GUYS EVER
HAVE A MARRIAGE THAT FELL TO CRAP?
325
00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,367
YES.
YEAH.
326
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:11,834
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
SO SHUT UP.
327
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:14,267
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US
TO DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
328
00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:18,634
I WOULD REALLY LIKE
TO PUNCH SOMEBODY.
329
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:19,701
WHO--BERKUS?
330
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:21,100
FOR STARTERS, YEAH.
331
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,467
YOU SHOULD HAVE.
332
00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:23,567
WANT TO HIT ME?
333
00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:25,501
WHY? WHAT DID YOU DO?
334
00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,567
NOTHING.
IT'S JUST A RELEASE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
335
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,634
YOU WOULD LET ME
HIT YOU?
336
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,400
SURE. IF IT HELPS YOU.
337
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,400
THANK YOU.
338
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,434
YOU WANT TO?
339
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:35,567
NAH. MAYBE LATER.
340
00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:38,133
COME ON, NOW.
DO IT NOW.
341
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,901
REALLY?
342
00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,267
YEAH. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
343
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
COME ON.
THAT'S NOT A HIT.
344
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,067
PAULIE,
THAT'S NOT A HIT.
345
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:48,701
OW!
THAT'S A HIT.
346
00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:50,167
THERE YOU GO.
347
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,167
ME, ME. WHAT ABOUT ME?
348
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,100
YEAH!
O.K., THERE. NOW...
349
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,334
NOW WE FEEL BETTER?
350
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:57,334
NOT ONE OUNCE.
351
00:14:57,334 --> 00:14:59,334
I WANT TO BE
LIKE JAMIE.
352
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:00,868
I'D LIKE
TO KISS SOMEBODY.
353
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,701
WANT TO KISS ME?
354
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,567
YOU WOULD LET ME
KISS YOU?
355
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:05,868
SURE.
356
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,701
I DON'T WANT
TO KISS YOU.
357
00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:08,901
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
358
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:10,734
THAT HAS
ZERO APPEAL TO ME.
359
00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:11,734
I UNDERSTAND.
360
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:12,767
MAYBE LATER?
361
00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:14,200
MAYBE LATER.
362
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,367
O.K.
363
00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:18,968
RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SOMEBODY
364
00:15:18,968 --> 00:15:20,567
THAT I WOULD
LIKE TO KISS.
365
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,033
SO GO AHEAD.
366
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,167
YOU'D LET ME?
367
00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,801
SURE.
IF IT'LL HELP YOU.
368
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:26,667
YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME.
369
00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:29,334
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I HATE TO NITPICK,
370
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,100
BUT KISSING SOMEBODY
WOULDN'T MAKE YOU EVEN.
371
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,701
WHY NOT?
372
00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:34,100
BECAUSE JAMES
DIDN'T KISS SOMEBODY.
373
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,467
SOMEBODY KISSED HER.
374
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,033
THE MAN HAS A POINT.
375
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:41,200
TECHNICALLY, SOMEBODY
WOULD HAVE TO KISS YOU.
376
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,434
THEN I COULD TAKE
HALF AN HOUR TO PUSH THEM AWAY,
377
00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,067
PRETEND
I DIDN'T ENJOY IT.
378
00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:48,801
HEY, COME ON.
LET'S BE FAIR TO JAMIE.
379
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:52,400
THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING,
AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.
380
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,000
IT WAS A MOMENTARY
LAPSE OF JUDGMENT, OF WEAKNESS.
381
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,934
IT'S NOT A CAPITAL CRIME.
382
00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:58,601
IN EUROPE, THIS HAPPENS
ALL THE TIME. MM-HMM.
383
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,033
WHERE?
384
00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:04,234
IN EUROPE.
385
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:05,567
WHERE IN EUROPE?
386
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,901
WHEREVER YOU WANT--
ITALY, FRANCE.
387
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,467
YOU DON'T THINK
IN FRANCE THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY?
388
00:16:10,467 --> 00:16:12,434
OH. THE FRENCH
DON'T CARE.
389
00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,067
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
390
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:16,200
EVERY DAY, EVERY MINUTE.
391
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,968
BINGO. JUST HAPPENED.
392
00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:22,133
A GUY IN MARSEILLES
JUST GRABBED ANOTHER GUY'S WIFE
393
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:23,634
RIGHT IN THE CROISSANT.
394
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:26,000
WHY CAN'T I DO THAT?
395
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,834
BECAUSE THAT'S NOT YOU.
396
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,300
THESE PEOPLE ARE FRENCH.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
397
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,033
ALL RIGHT.
398
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,667
WHAT ABOUT HER?
399
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,434
WHAT ABOUT HER?
400
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:37,634
WHAT IF SHE KISSED ME
OUT OF HER OWN GOODWILL?
401
00:16:37,634 --> 00:16:40,200
YOU'D BE
ONE LUCKY MAN.
402
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,100
HERE YOU GO.
403
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,567
HERE YOU GO,
SWEETHEART.
404
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:45,901
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
405
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:47,100
SANDRA.
406
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,767
SANDRA, DO YOU KNOW
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY?
407
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,200
OH. IS IT REALLY?
408
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,901
YEP.
409
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:54,767
WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
410
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,901
SO, I TOOK A SHOT
THERE.
411
00:17:00,901 --> 00:17:03,200
DON'T MAKE US
DRAG YOU OUT.
412
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,801
THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE--
I STOP AT THE LINE.
413
00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,601
I DANCE UP TO IT,
SKATE NEAR IT.
414
00:17:08,601 --> 00:17:10,701
I DON'T
GO OVER THE LINE.
415
00:17:10,701 --> 00:17:13,200
MY WIFE CATAPULTS
CLEAR ACROSS THE LINE.
416
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,200
JAMIE DOESN'T CATAPULT.
417
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,334
IF I HAD KNOWN,
I WOULD'VE ENJOYED MYSELF BEFORE.
418
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,334
YOU FEEL GUILTY
JUST LOOKING ACROSS THE LINE.
419
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:24,033
I HAVE NOTHING
TO SHOW FOR MY GUILT.
420
00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:26,601
I'M IN
A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION.
421
00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:29,100
YOU THINK
YOU'RE THE FIRST COUPLE TO GO THROUGH THIS?
422
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,601
FRAN AND I
WENT THROUGH HELL.
423
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:34,734
TWO YEARS SEPARATED--
YOU WORK THROUGH IT, AND IT BECOMES BETTER.
424
00:17:34,734 --> 00:17:36,267
IT'S LIKE A BROKEN BONE.
425
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:38,534
YOU RESET IT,
AND SOMETIMES
426
00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:41,033
IT'S STRONGER
THAN BEFORE YOU BROKE IT.
427
00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:47,100
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
428
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,300
FRAN AND I
WERE JUST MARRIED.
429
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:51,167
THERE'S THIS GUY
IN FRAN'S OFFICE.
430
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:53,300
HE KEEPS CALLING HER
AND CALLING--
431
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,634
NO, I'M SORRY.
NO, THAT WASN'T FRAN.
432
00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:57,601
THAT WAS ANOTHER COUPLE--
THE KOPACKS.
433
00:17:57,601 --> 00:17:58,567
THEY'RE FRIENDS OF OURS.
434
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,834
FRAN TOLD ME--
435
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:02,501
YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING?
436
00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:04,400
WORK THINGS THROUGH.
IT GETS BETTER.
437
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,801
MARK, YOU'RE GOING
TO DEPRESS THE BOY.
438
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:09,834
WHOEVER ORDERED
HANK WILLIAMS, YOUR SONG IS UP.
439
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,601
HERE WE GO.
IT'S OUR TURN.
440
00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,133
JUST WHAT YOU NEED.
441
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,968
A RELEASE.
WHAT DO I NEED?
442
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,234
I DON'T SING.
443
00:18:16,234 --> 00:18:19,200
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
JUST BE LOUD.
444
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,734
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
HERE'S A LITTLE SONG FROM THE BIRTHDAY BOY.
445
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:23,767
THE LYRICS.
446
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,567
MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
447
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,334
NO, NO, NO.
448
00:18:27,334 --> 00:18:31,234
* YOUR CHEATIN' HEART *
449
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,901
* WILL MAKE YOU WEEP *
450
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,801
I DON'T KNOW THESE GUYS.
451
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:38,734
* YOU'LL CRY AND CRY *
452
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:42,868
* AND TRY TO SLEEP *
453
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:46,734
* BUT SLEEP WON'T COME *
454
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,434
* THE WHOLE NIGHT
THROUGH *
455
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:50,701
SING IT, PAUL!
SING IT!
456
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,234
* YOUR CHEATING HEART *
457
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,100
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
458
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,334
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
459
00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:00,100
* YOUR CHEATING HEART *
460
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,267
CHEATING HEART,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
461
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,734
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
462
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:06,133
JUST LIKE
YOUR LITTLE SISTER!
463
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,133
* YOU'LL CRY AND CRY *
464
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,901
SOBBING, SOBBING!
465
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:11,067
* THE WHOLE NIGHT
THROUGH *
466
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,100
THE WHOLE NIGHT
THROUGH!
467
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,167
[STAMMERS]
468
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,901
SING IT LIKE HE DOES!
469
00:19:16,901 --> 00:19:18,901
* THE WAY I DO *
470
00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:20,767
CLOP, CLOP,
CLOP, CLOP, CLOP!
471
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,934
* YOUR CHEATING HEART *
472
00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:24,868
CHEATING HEART!
473
00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,767
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
474
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,267
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
475
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,234
* WILL TELL ON YOU *
476
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,334
WILL TELL ON YOU.
477
00:19:32,334 --> 00:19:38,367
[BARBERSHOP HARMONIES]
* WILL TELL ON YOU **
478
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,200
OH! THANK YOU!
479
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,801
YES!
480
00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:42,834
THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!
481
00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:45,501
THERE YOU GO!
482
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,100
VERY NICE,
PAULIE.
483
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,234
OH, WOW!
484
00:19:49,234 --> 00:19:52,434
THAT WAS
REALLY GREAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
485
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:58,334
THERE YOU GO.
YOU HAPPY NOW?
486
00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:00,400
NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT
I HAD PLANNED AT ALL.
487
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,467
RRR.
488
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,801
AAH-HA!
489
00:20:08,801 --> 00:20:11,734
OW! WOW, THAT HURTS.
490
00:20:11,734 --> 00:20:13,667
WELL, THAT'S IT.
IT'S OVER.
491
00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,267
IT'S BEEN A NICE CAREER.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
492
00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:17,701
WHAT DO YOU GOT--
BUTTONS?
493
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:18,834
YEAH. READ ONE.
494
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:20,601
"BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR."
495
00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:21,968
READ IT AGAIN.
496
00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:22,968
"BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR."
497
00:20:22,968 --> 00:20:24,133
READ IT AGAIN.
498
00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,000
"BROCKWELL FOR MAYRO."
499
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,100
YES.
500
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,934
I'M THE LAUGHINGSTOCK
OF NEW YORK POLITICS.
501
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:31,567
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
502
00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,467
I THINK IT'S
AN ENDEARING MISTAKE.
503
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,968
OH, LISTEN.
IRA HAD THE BEST IDEA.
504
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,934
WE'RE GOING TO BURT
AND SYLVIA'S
505
00:20:37,934 --> 00:20:39,567
AND IRON OUT
THE PARTY-CONFLICT THING.
506
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,033
WHO'S WE?
507
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:44,501
WELL, THERE'S ME.
THERE'S SANFORD, O.K.?
508
00:20:44,501 --> 00:20:47,133
THERE'S BURT
AND SYLVIA. AND IRA.
509
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,300
AND ZIGGY.
510
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,534
AND YOU AND PAUL!
511
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,200
LISA! DID YOU SAY
ME AND PAUL?
512
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,534
YEAH. KIND OF.
513
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:58,267
NO. I'M SORRY.
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. NOT NOW.
514
00:20:58,267 --> 00:20:59,601
DON'T YOU WANT
TO SEE PAUL?
515
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:03,467
NO, I DON'T--I MEAN,
I DO WANT TO SEE HIM,
516
00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:06,567
BUT I AM NOT READY YET.
517
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:09,801
EVENTUALLY, YES,
I WANT TO SEE HIM. I MISS HIM VERY MUCH,
518
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,200
BUT, NO, I AM NOT
READY RIGHT NOW.
519
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,434
I'M SAYING NO.
ARE YOU LISTENING?
520
00:21:14,434 --> 00:21:15,567
AAH!
521
00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:16,534
ALL RIGHT!
522
00:21:16,534 --> 00:21:17,868
THANKS.
523
00:21:21,067 --> 00:21:22,167
[SYLVIA]
WHERE'S JAMIE?
524
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:23,234
WHY?
525
00:21:23,234 --> 00:21:24,834
IS THAT
AN UNREASONABLE QUESTION?
526
00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:26,000
YOU'RE MARRIED
TO THAT WOMAN.
527
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,067
YOU'RE HERE, SHE'S NOT.
528
00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:29,534
SHE HAD TO, UM...
529
00:21:29,534 --> 00:21:31,300
SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO, UH--
530
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,200
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
531
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,200
FORGET IT.
I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED. BELIEVE ME.
532
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,667
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
533
00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:38,767
WHY?
MAKING COFFEE.
534
00:21:38,767 --> 00:21:40,901
IF ZIGGY KLARIK
IS COMING,
535
00:21:40,901 --> 00:21:42,767
I WANT TO GIVE HIM
SOME COFFEE.
536
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:45,334
YOU'RE GOING
TO GIVE ZIGGY KLARIK SOME COFFEE?
537
00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:47,434
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
538
00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:49,801
ZIGGY KLARIK
DOESN'T DESERVE A CUP OF COFFEE!
539
00:21:49,801 --> 00:21:53,234
IT'S NOT
THE GOOD COFFEE.
540
00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:55,400
WHAT'S WITH YOU
AND ZIGGY KLARIK?
541
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:56,601
YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED?
542
00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:58,367
IT'S NOTHING.
FORGET IT.
543
00:21:58,367 --> 00:22:00,000
IT'S A LONG TIME AGO.
544
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,334
TELL THEM ALREADY.
545
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:03,667
1954, A SALESMAN
COMES INTO MY STORE
546
00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:05,567
WITH HIS NEW PRODUCT.
547
00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:07,901
HE SAYS IT'S GOING
TO SWEEP THE NATION.
548
00:22:07,901 --> 00:22:09,367
IT'S A CIRCULAR THING.
549
00:22:09,367 --> 00:22:11,567
IT'S TUBULAR,
A CIRCULAR TUBE.
550
00:22:11,567 --> 00:22:14,467
HE SAYS,
"BURT, THIS IS GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION."
551
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,200
SWEETIE,
THE SHORT VERSION.
552
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,734
HE PUTS THIS TUBE
AROUND HIS WAIST, AND HE STARTS TWIRLING.
553
00:22:20,734 --> 00:22:24,167
A HULA-HOOP?
THIS GUY BROUGHT YOU THE HULA-HOOP?
554
00:22:24,167 --> 00:22:27,334
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE MADE A DEAL FOR ME
555
00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:30,100
TO BE THE EXCLUSIVE
HULA-HOOP DISTRIBUTOR IN THE TRISTATE AREA.
556
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,367
THE VERY NEXT DAY,
557
00:22:32,367 --> 00:22:35,033
I GET A CALL
FROM THIS GUY.
558
00:22:35,033 --> 00:22:37,901
ZIGGY KLARIK OUTBID ME.
HE MAKES MILLIONS.
559
00:22:37,901 --> 00:22:40,667
AND ME, EVERY TIME
I SEE A HULA-HOOP,
560
00:22:40,667 --> 00:22:42,567
I GET A PAIN RIGHT HERE.
561
00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:45,667
DON'T EAT YOUR GUTS OUT.
IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO.
562
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,934
MEANWHILE, HE'S COMING
INTO MY KITCHEN,
563
00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:49,267
AND YOU'RE
MAKING HIM COFFEE.
564
00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:52,167
BECAUSE HIS SON
IS GOING TO MARRY LISA.
565
00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:54,801
FOR EVERYBODY'S SAKE,
COULD YOU AND ZIGGY
566
00:22:54,801 --> 00:22:56,601
TRY TO WORK OUT
A SOLUTION?
567
00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,667
WELL, THERE IS
A SIMPLE SOLUTION.
568
00:22:58,667 --> 00:22:59,868
HE CAN DROP DEAD.
569
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,300
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
570
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:03,400
I THINK IT'S THEM.
571
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,200
THEM WHO?
572
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,334
WHOEVER'S COMING
WHO ISN'T US.
573
00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:10,868
I GOT IT.
I'LL GO GET IT.
574
00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:14,334
HI.
575
00:23:14,334 --> 00:23:16,100
HI.
576
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,767
HI.
577
00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:19,968
I'M GOING TO GIVE
YOU TWO A MINUTE.
578
00:23:19,968 --> 00:23:22,567
I'M SURPRISED YOU CAME.
579
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,367
I DIDN'T WANT TO.
LISA ASKED--
580
00:23:24,367 --> 00:23:26,467
I WASN'T
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS, EITHER.
581
00:23:26,467 --> 00:23:28,901
I KNOW.
582
00:23:28,901 --> 00:23:31,501
ALL RIGHT,
AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE...
583
00:23:31,501 --> 00:23:34,234
MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, SO--
584
00:23:34,234 --> 00:23:36,801
AND THEY DON'T
NEED TO KNOW, SO--
585
00:23:36,801 --> 00:23:38,667
COULD WE PRETEND
FOR THE AFTERNOON WE'RE STILL US?
586
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,834
O.K.
587
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,067
GET THIS INSURED.
I KNOW A GUY.
588
00:23:47,067 --> 00:23:48,634
WHAT'S THE NAME
OF THAT GUY?
589
00:23:48,634 --> 00:23:50,400
SHE'S MARRYING
KLARIKS.
590
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,334
YOU DON'T THINK
THEY'RE INSURED?
591
00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:52,334
HOW DO I KNOW?
592
00:23:52,334 --> 00:23:53,767
HI.
593
00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:55,033
JAMES.
594
00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:56,100
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
595
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,667
HOW IS EVERYBODY?
596
00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:02,100
WE HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY
AND ENGAGEMENT PARTY ON THE SAME DAY.
597
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,534
OTHER THAN THAT,
WE'RE GETTING BY.
598
00:24:03,534 --> 00:24:05,667
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
599
00:24:05,667 --> 00:24:07,167
THAT'S SANFORD
AND HIS DADDY. I'LL GET THAT.
600
00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:09,567
BOY, THE RICH
BUZZ LONG.
601
00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:12,267
ENOUGH ALREADY.
WE HEAR YOU.
602
00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:15,734
BY THE WAY...
YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY.
603
00:24:15,734 --> 00:24:18,200
THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK NICE, TOO.
604
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,267
ALL RIGHT,
SHALL WE?
605
00:24:21,267 --> 00:24:24,067
BECAUSE I'VE GOT
15 MINUTES.
606
00:24:24,067 --> 00:24:26,300
YOU EVER SEEN
A WATCH LIKE THAT?
607
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,033
NO, I WOULD IMAGINE NOT.
608
00:24:29,033 --> 00:24:31,167
HONEY, WE TOOK
A CHECKER CAB.
609
00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:33,334
I SAT IN
THE JUMP SEAT.
610
00:24:33,334 --> 00:24:36,267
COOL. ZIGGY KLARIK,
THIS IS MY SISTER JAMIE.
611
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:37,334
HI.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
612
00:24:37,334 --> 00:24:38,801
JAMIE.
JAMIE.
613
00:24:38,801 --> 00:24:40,467
HI, JAMIE.
HI, SANFORD.
614
00:24:40,467 --> 00:24:42,267
WE TOOK
A CHECKER CAB.
615
00:24:42,267 --> 00:24:44,100
I HEARD.
616
00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:45,667
THIS IS MY
BROTHER-IN-LAW PAUL.
617
00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:46,634
HI.
618
00:24:46,634 --> 00:24:47,667
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
619
00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:48,968
PAUL.
PAUL.
620
00:24:48,968 --> 00:24:50,467
HI, PAUL.
621
00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:52,100
TOOK A CAB?
CHECKER.
622
00:24:54,634 --> 00:24:57,400
AND THIS IS, UH,
PAUL'S COUSIN IRA.
623
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,167
WHAT'S
YOUR NAME?
624
00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:00,834
IRA.
IRA. IRA.
625
00:25:00,834 --> 00:25:04,267
AND THIS IS
PAUL'S MOM SYLVIA.
626
00:25:04,267 --> 00:25:05,734
IMPOSSIBLE.
627
00:25:05,734 --> 00:25:07,334
WHAT?
628
00:25:07,334 --> 00:25:10,567
YOU CAN'T BE HIS MOM.
MAYBE HIS SISTER.
629
00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:12,934
OH, MR. KLARIK.
630
00:25:12,934 --> 00:25:15,367
HIS YOUNGER SISTER.
631
00:25:15,367 --> 00:25:17,701
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
632
00:25:17,701 --> 00:25:19,834
QUIET. WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?
633
00:25:19,834 --> 00:25:22,267
AND I BELIEVE
YOU KNOW THIS MAN.
634
00:25:22,267 --> 00:25:24,133
HELLO, BURT.
ZIGGY.
635
00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:25,467
BEEN A LONG TIME.
636
00:25:25,467 --> 00:25:27,534
UH-HUH.
637
00:25:27,534 --> 00:25:30,167
YOU STILL GOT THAT
12,000 SQUARE FEET ON 8th AVENUE?
638
00:25:30,167 --> 00:25:32,534
THAT'S RIGHT.
639
00:25:32,534 --> 00:25:33,834
SPORTING GOODS?
640
00:25:33,834 --> 00:25:35,367
YEP.
641
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,033
WHAT DID YOU
CLEAR LAST YEAR?
642
00:25:38,033 --> 00:25:39,934
WE DID ALL RIGHT.
643
00:25:39,934 --> 00:25:41,901
HA HA HA HA HA.
644
00:25:41,901 --> 00:25:43,334
I'M SURE YOU DID.
645
00:25:43,334 --> 00:25:47,234
UH, WHERE IS
MRS. KLARIK TODAY?
646
00:25:47,234 --> 00:25:48,834
SHE COULDN'T BE HERE.
647
00:25:48,834 --> 00:25:51,000
SHE HAD TO GO TO
THE BEAUTY PARLOR...
648
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,367
FOR AN ESTIMATE.
649
00:25:54,367 --> 00:25:56,501
SO, ZIGGY, LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION.
650
00:25:56,501 --> 00:25:58,067
OOH, DAD,
LET'S NOT.
651
00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,300
HOW'S THE HULA-HOOP BUSINESS?
652
00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:00,767
OWWW.
653
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,767
COME ON--1954.
WHAT ABOUT IT?
654
00:26:02,767 --> 00:26:04,300
DON'T PRETEND LIKE
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
655
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,467
YOU SCREWED ME,
KLARIK.
656
00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:07,067
I SCREWED YOU?
YEAH.
657
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,534
YOU SHOULD'VE UPPED
YOUR PRICE.
658
00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:10,267
I HAD
A VERY FAIR PRICE.
659
00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,767
SO I WAS MORE FAIR.
660
00:26:12,767 --> 00:26:15,200
IS IT A CRIME
TO BE MORE FAIR?
661
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,167
I HAD A DEAL,
YOU KNOW IT.
662
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,868
I KNOW NOTHING.
663
00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:21,133
EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.
I'M SORRY.
664
00:26:21,133 --> 00:26:24,234
WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS
THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST,
665
00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:27,834
SPECIFICALLY, TWO WEEKS
FROM NEXT SUNDAY-- THE 12th.
666
00:26:27,834 --> 00:26:31,734
SO, IF--IF WE COULD EITHER
MOVE THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY
667
00:26:31,734 --> 00:26:33,133
OR THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY--
668
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:35,033
[RASPBERRY]
ENGAGEMENT PARTY.
669
00:26:35,033 --> 00:26:36,968
THANK YOU,
SWEETHEART.
670
00:26:36,968 --> 00:26:39,467
TRUTHFULLY, UP UNTIL
FIVE WEEKS AGO,
671
00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:42,567
I THOUGHT
MY SON WAS GAY.
672
00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,801
DAD, DON'T START THIS AGAIN.
673
00:26:44,801 --> 00:26:47,801
WHAT AM I STARTING?
WHO AM I?
674
00:26:47,801 --> 00:26:51,434
I'M AN
OLD-FASHIONED GUY. TO ME, YOU'RE GAY.
675
00:26:51,434 --> 00:26:54,501
ALL RIGHT. WHY DON'T
WE CUT TO THE CHASE?
676
00:26:54,501 --> 00:26:56,067
WHO'S GOING TO CHANGE
THEIR PARTY DATE?
677
00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:02,634
HOW MUCH?
678
00:27:02,634 --> 00:27:05,100
HOW MUCH?
HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH?
679
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,133
HOW MUCH? YEAH.
GIVE ME A NUMBER.
680
00:27:07,133 --> 00:27:08,901
A NUMBER?
681
00:27:08,901 --> 00:27:11,067
YEAH, A PRICE.
682
00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:13,400
I GIVE YOU MONEY,
YOU TAKE YOUR PARTY TO ANOTHER SUNDAY.
683
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:14,501
DAD--
ZIGGY!
684
00:27:14,501 --> 00:27:15,734
THAT'S ENOUGH.
685
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,033
IT REALLY IS.
JAMIE.
686
00:27:17,033 --> 00:27:19,033
SORRY, LISA,
THERE COMES A POINT.
687
00:27:19,033 --> 00:27:20,601
MY PARENTS DON'T NEED
YOUR DIRTY HULA-HOOP MONEY.
688
00:27:20,601 --> 00:27:24,501
YOU CAN'T WALK INTO THEIR HOME,
CRITICIZING AND DISPARAGING.
689
00:27:24,501 --> 00:27:26,701
THEY'RE NOT AN APPLIANCE
OR TOASTER.
690
00:27:26,701 --> 00:27:28,400
THESE ARE PEOPLE.
691
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,267
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON 45 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
692
00:27:30,267 --> 00:27:31,701
YOU CAN'T JUST BUY THAT.
693
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,100
I'LL GIVE YOU
$10,000.
694
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:41,968
[BOTH] SOLD.
695
00:27:59,467 --> 00:28:01,734
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION,
EVERYBODY?
696
00:28:01,734 --> 00:28:04,234
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
697
00:28:04,234 --> 00:28:06,167
WHY AREN'T
YOU STANDING NEXT TO YOUR WIFE?
698
00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:07,934
BECAUSE I'M NOT.
699
00:28:07,934 --> 00:28:09,534
MAY I HAVE
EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION?
700
00:28:09,534 --> 00:28:11,534
I KNOW IT'S
NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
701
00:28:11,534 --> 00:28:13,634
GO STAND
NEXT TO YOUR WIFE.
702
00:28:13,634 --> 00:28:15,934
TABBOULEH?
703
00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:16,901
OHH!
704
00:28:18,033 --> 00:28:19,667
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
705
00:28:20,934 --> 00:28:25,000
I'LL GIVE YOU EACH 60 BUCKS
FOR YOUR ATTENTION.
706
00:28:28,467 --> 00:28:30,801
SUCKERS! I WOULD'VE
GONE TO 80.
707
00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:35,400
FIRST, LET ME
SAY I AM SURE
708
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,834
THAT YOU ARE
AS SURPRISED AS I AM
709
00:28:37,834 --> 00:28:42,267
TO BE HERE TO TOAST
MY SON'S ENGAGEMENT.
710
00:28:42,267 --> 00:28:44,267
I THOUGHT FOR THE SURE
THE KID WAS GAY.
711
00:28:48,033 --> 00:28:52,901
MY SON SANFORD
MET A WONDERFUL GIRL...
712
00:28:52,901 --> 00:28:55,133
DUMPED HER...
713
00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:58,467
AND THEN MET LISA,
BUT I KID. I KID.
714
00:29:01,434 --> 00:29:05,200
AND I LOOK FORWARD
TO THE NUTS AND BOLTS
715
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:09,367
OF THE 218-PAGE PRE-NUP
BEING HAMMERED OUT,
716
00:29:09,367 --> 00:29:11,667
AND WE CAN ALL
GATHER TOGETHER
717
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:13,634
AT THE WEDDING TO SAY,
718
00:29:13,634 --> 00:29:15,100
"GO FIGURE."
719
00:29:17,267 --> 00:29:19,901
AND SO NOW
WE RAISE OUR GLASSES
720
00:29:19,901 --> 00:29:22,534
TO MY SON SANFORD--
721
00:29:22,534 --> 00:29:23,734
HEAR, HEAR.
HEAR, HEAR.
722
00:29:23,734 --> 00:29:26,267
AND TO HIS FIANC�E
LISA.
723
00:29:26,267 --> 00:29:27,367
ENJOY YOURSELVES!
724
00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:28,601
AND FOR GOD'S SAKE,
725
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:29,834
DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!
726
00:29:31,901 --> 00:29:33,601
AHH!
727
00:29:33,601 --> 00:29:36,901
YOU GOT TO COME
TO MY CLUB NEXT WEEKEND,
728
00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:41,567
AND THEN
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT DOOKIE BALL.
729
00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:43,334
"DOOKIE BALL"?
730
00:29:43,334 --> 00:29:45,601
YEAH. IT'S GOING
TO SWEEP THE NATION.
731
00:29:45,601 --> 00:29:48,400
HONEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
732
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,234
OH, THANK YOU.
733
00:29:50,234 --> 00:29:52,300
I'M NOT FEELING GREAT.
I'M GOING TO GO.
734
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,400
DID YOU TALK TO HIM?
735
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,467
THIS ISN'T
THE TIME OR PLACE.
736
00:29:55,467 --> 00:29:57,934
O.K., BUT AT LEAST
COME SAY GOODBYE TO SANFORD.
737
00:29:57,934 --> 00:29:59,801
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
738
00:29:59,801 --> 00:30:01,767
YOU GOT
A GREAT GIRL THERE.
739
00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:02,834
DON'T I THOUGH?
740
00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:05,000
HEY, SANFORD, JAMIE
WANTS TO SAY GOODBYE.
741
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,567
I WISH YOU
EVERY HAPPINESS.
742
00:30:06,567 --> 00:30:07,534
THANKS.
743
00:30:07,534 --> 00:30:08,667
AMEN.
744
00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,067
THERE YOU ARE.
745
00:30:10,067 --> 00:30:12,634
I'M SO GLAD
YOU MADE IT.
746
00:30:12,634 --> 00:30:14,367
WE WOULDN'T
HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD.
747
00:30:14,367 --> 00:30:16,100
I WANT TO TELL YOU--
748
00:30:16,100 --> 00:30:18,400
IN THE END,
MONEY MEANS NOTHING.
749
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,400
OH, I WOULDN'T
SAY NOTHING.
750
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,767
IT MEANS SOMETHING,
BUT VERY LITTLE COMPARED TO LOVE.
751
00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:24,400
DAD,
THAT'S TRUE.
752
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,200
BUT TRUST EVEN
MORE THAN LOVE, DON'T YOU THINK?
753
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,334
WHAT'S LOVE
IF THERE'S NO TRUST?
754
00:30:29,334 --> 00:30:32,167
HMM, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
TRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING.
755
00:30:32,167 --> 00:30:36,334
YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY?
APPARENTLYTRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE.
756
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,968
I'LL TALK TO YOU
LATER.
757
00:30:38,968 --> 00:30:41,100
WHERE YOU GOING?
I DIDN'T SAY-- HE SAID IT.
758
00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:42,801
DID I SAY
SOMETHING WRONG?
759
00:30:42,801 --> 00:30:43,567
NO, NO.
SHE'S JUST...
760
00:30:50,234 --> 00:30:51,601
HEY, HEY.
761
00:30:51,601 --> 00:30:53,334
YOU ARE SUCH
A JACKASS.
762
00:30:53,334 --> 00:30:54,501
I'M A JACKASS?
763
00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:56,167
YES.
764
00:30:56,167 --> 00:30:57,501
FINE, SO LEAVE ME
FOR ANOTHER GUY.
765
00:30:57,501 --> 00:30:59,734
I'M NOT LEAVING YOU.
GOD!
766
00:30:59,734 --> 00:31:01,400
YOU'RE HITTING ME.
INTERESTING.
767
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,801
WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?
768
00:31:03,801 --> 00:31:05,400
I DON'T KNOW.
769
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,067
LET'S GO HOME
AND TALK.
770
00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:09,234
NO, I CAN'T.
I DON'T LIKE OUR HOME.
771
00:31:09,234 --> 00:31:11,467
DO YOU WANT TO GO
SOMEWHERE ELSE?
772
00:31:11,467 --> 00:31:12,367
NOT PARTICULARLY.
O.K., FINE.
773
00:31:12,367 --> 00:31:13,667
WHERE YOU GOING?
774
00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,167
IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO TALK-- WHO SAID THAT?
775
00:31:15,167 --> 00:31:16,767
YOU DID.
I DID NOT.
776
00:31:16,767 --> 00:31:18,267
I JUST SAID,
"DO YOU WANT TO TALK?"
777
00:31:18,267 --> 00:31:21,801
I DIDN'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU SAID IT.
778
00:31:21,801 --> 00:31:25,133
I'M SO TIRED OF
NOT TALKING TO YOU.
779
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:27,334
THEN TALK TO ME.
780
00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:33,400
HOW YOU DOING?
781
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,434
I'M FINE.
782
00:31:37,367 --> 00:31:39,200
I DON'T TRUST YOU
ANYMORE.
783
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,667
IF YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO TRUST ME AGAIN--
784
00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:43,634
DID I SAY THAT?
NO, BUT--
785
00:31:43,634 --> 00:31:44,801
STOP PUTTING WORDS
IN MY MOUTH.
786
00:31:44,801 --> 00:31:45,901
I'M SORRY.
THANK YOU.
787
00:31:45,901 --> 00:31:48,434
GEEZ.
ALL RIGHT...
788
00:31:48,434 --> 00:31:50,734
GO--GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
789
00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:52,934
YOU DON'T TRUST ME
ANYMORE...
790
00:31:52,934 --> 00:31:55,033
BECAUSE...
791
00:31:55,033 --> 00:31:56,501
BECAUSE?
792
00:31:57,767 --> 00:32:01,667
BECAUSE I--I KISSED
ANOTHER MAN?
793
00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:06,200
YEAH. THAT'S CERTAINLY
NOT A PLUS, YOU KNOW.
794
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,767
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING
THAT ENDEARS YOU MORE TO ME.
795
00:32:10,934 --> 00:32:13,434
O.K., LISTEN TO ME.
796
00:32:13,434 --> 00:32:16,501
I AM SO SORRY.
797
00:32:16,501 --> 00:32:18,501
I COULD NOT BE
MORE SORRY.
798
00:32:18,501 --> 00:32:20,767
IF I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
799
00:32:20,767 --> 00:32:22,234
EVERY DAY
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,
800
00:32:22,234 --> 00:32:24,734
THEN I WILL, O.K.?
I AM THAT SORRY.
801
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,400
I THOUGHT YOU DID
A VERY NICE JOB AT THE PARTY.
802
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,534
THANKS.
803
00:32:52,367 --> 00:32:55,734
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN
ALL OF A SUDDEN?
804
00:32:55,734 --> 00:32:58,200
IT'S NOT
ALL OF A SUDDEN.
805
00:32:59,901 --> 00:33:03,200
WHY DO YOU
THINK I KEPT SAYING WE NEED TIME TOGETHER?
806
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,467
WHY I KEPT PUSHING FOR US
TO GET AWAY TOGETHER?
807
00:33:06,467 --> 00:33:07,634
SOMETHING WAS GOING ON.
808
00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:09,000
WITH BERKUS?
809
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,133
WITH US.
810
00:33:11,133 --> 00:33:14,234
THIS GUY IS NOT
THE PROBLEM.
811
00:33:14,234 --> 00:33:17,000
YOU KISSED HIM.
812
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,901
YOU KNOW?
813
00:33:18,901 --> 00:33:20,200
YOU KISSED HIM.
814
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,234
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT'S LIKE FOR ME TO IMAGINE?
815
00:33:23,234 --> 00:33:26,400
THAT
ANOTHER GUY'S LIPS WERE ON YOUR LIPS.
816
00:33:28,367 --> 00:33:29,701
WHAT KIND OF KISS
WAS THAT?
817
00:33:29,701 --> 00:33:31,267
YOU NEVER
EVEN TOLD ME.
818
00:33:31,267 --> 00:33:35,167
LIKE WHERE...
WERE HIS HANDS? YOUR HANDS?
819
00:33:35,167 --> 00:33:37,667
STOP IT. STOP IT.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
820
00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,767
REALLY, STOP IT.
PULLING HIM CLOSE TO YOU.
821
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:42,501
YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?
YOU'RE DOING WHAT?
822
00:33:42,501 --> 00:33:43,567
HE LEANED IN--
I--
823
00:33:43,567 --> 00:33:45,534
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP NOW.
824
00:33:45,534 --> 00:33:47,167
STOP ASKING ME
ABOUT IT.
825
00:33:47,167 --> 00:33:50,234
HOW DO I KNOW THAT THIS
NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE?
826
00:33:50,234 --> 00:33:51,467
BECAUSE
I'M TELLING YOU.
827
00:33:51,467 --> 00:33:53,467
SO WHAT'S THAT?
828
00:33:53,467 --> 00:33:55,133
HONESTY'S YOUR STRONGEST
PERSONALITY TRAIT RIGHT NOW?
829
00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:57,133
ACTUALLY, YES.
830
00:33:57,133 --> 00:33:58,334
WHAT HAPPENED
IN ALBANY?
831
00:33:58,334 --> 00:33:59,667
NOTHING HAPPENED
IN ALBANY.
832
00:33:59,667 --> 00:34:01,100
O.K., SAYS YOU.
833
00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:03,300
I DIDN'T EVEN
GET TO ALBANY.
834
00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:05,367
I TURNED AROUND
AND CAME BACK
835
00:34:05,367 --> 00:34:08,434
BECAUSE I WANTED
TO BE WITH YOU.
836
00:34:08,434 --> 00:34:10,467
WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
YOU KNOW. I JUST--
837
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:11,267
I JUST--
838
00:34:15,334 --> 00:34:17,167
I JUST HATE THIS.
839
00:34:17,167 --> 00:34:18,868
WHAT?
840
00:34:18,868 --> 00:34:22,434
I'M GOING TO BE 40,
STANDING IN A PARK,
841
00:34:22,434 --> 00:34:24,567
ASKING YOU QUESTIONS LIKE,
"WHERE WERE THE GUY'S HANDS?"
842
00:34:24,567 --> 00:34:27,534
I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO--
843
00:34:27,534 --> 00:34:31,300
IT'S JUST
SO PEDESTRIAN.
844
00:34:31,300 --> 00:34:34,067
WHO SAID WE'RE NOT
PEDESTRIAN?
845
00:34:34,067 --> 00:34:35,567
I ALWAYS ASSUMED
THAT YOU AND I
846
00:34:35,567 --> 00:34:38,501
WOULD BE IMMUNE
TO THIS CRAP.
847
00:34:38,501 --> 00:34:39,934
WELL, WE'RE NOT.
848
00:34:42,167 --> 00:34:44,667
WHEN I STARTED
WORKING SO HARD THIS YEAR
849
00:34:44,667 --> 00:34:46,267
AND PUT IN
LONGER HOURS--
850
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,634
I ALWAYS
SUPPORTED YOU.
851
00:34:47,634 --> 00:34:49,067
YES, YOU DID.
852
00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:51,167
I SAID GO DO
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
853
00:34:51,167 --> 00:34:52,634
YES, YOU DID.
854
00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:54,234
WHY? I BELIEVED IN,
TRUSTED--
855
00:34:54,234 --> 00:34:55,601
NO, BECAUSE
YOU LIKED IT.
856
00:34:55,601 --> 00:34:57,834
I LIKED YOU
WORKING WITH THIS GUY?
857
00:34:57,834 --> 00:34:59,901
NO. ME NOT
BEING AROUND.
858
00:34:59,901 --> 00:35:02,601
IT WAS O.K. FOR YOU
TO NOT BE AROUND.
859
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,167
EVERYTHING WAS EVEN.
NOTHING WOULD BE YOUR FAULT.
860
00:35:04,167 --> 00:35:05,734
WHAT WOULDN'T
BE MY FAULT?
861
00:35:05,734 --> 00:35:07,501
WHATEVER
IS WRONG WITH US--
862
00:35:07,501 --> 00:35:09,100
HOWEVER MUCH
WE DRIFT APART,
863
00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:10,400
HOWEVER MUCH
WE DON'T TALK.
864
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,968
WHEN DON'T WE TALK?
865
00:35:11,968 --> 00:35:13,868
COME ON.
866
00:35:13,868 --> 00:35:16,334
IN THE LAST
THREE MONTHS HOW MANY TIMES
867
00:35:16,334 --> 00:35:17,634
HAVE WE EATEN DINNER
TOGETHER?
868
00:35:17,634 --> 00:35:19,634
HOW MANY TIMES
869
00:35:19,634 --> 00:35:22,033
HAVE WE DONE
SOMETHING FUN ON A WEEKEND?
870
00:35:22,033 --> 00:35:24,601
WHEN DID WE LAST
MAKE LOVE BECAUSE WE WANTED TO,
871
00:35:24,601 --> 00:35:27,601
NOT BECAUSE
IT WAS GOOD CLINICAL TIMING?
872
00:35:27,601 --> 00:35:29,100
TELL ME. WHEN?
873
00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:31,334
I DON'T KNOW.
874
00:35:31,334 --> 00:35:34,067
IS THAT
WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF MARRIAGE?
875
00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:37,033
DON'T YOU THINK
WE DESERVE BETTER?
876
00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,567
FIRST, I DON'T
KNOW ANYBODY
877
00:35:38,567 --> 00:35:42,000
WHO TALKS MORE THAN WE DO.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO.
878
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,434
WE'RE TALKING,
BUT NOBODY IS SAYING
879
00:35:43,434 --> 00:35:45,934
THE NASTY, OLD,
UGLY TRUTH.
880
00:35:45,934 --> 00:35:47,367
WHICH IS WHAT?
881
00:35:47,367 --> 00:35:48,667
THIS ISN'T WORKING.
882
00:35:50,467 --> 00:35:53,267
I REACH OUT FOR YOU,
YOU'RE NOT THERE.
883
00:35:53,267 --> 00:35:54,834
I'M CERTAINLY
NOT THERE FOR YOU.
884
00:35:54,834 --> 00:35:56,367
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING--
885
00:35:56,367 --> 00:35:58,567
I'VE BEEN WORKING.
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING.
886
00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:00,167
WE'RE KILLING
OURSELVES,
887
00:36:00,167 --> 00:36:01,767
SAVING AND PLANNING,
AND FOR WHAT?
888
00:36:01,767 --> 00:36:05,067
FOR THIS BABY
THAT'S NOT COMING.
889
00:36:05,067 --> 00:36:07,033
WE'VE BEEN
TRYING A YEAR. IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
890
00:36:07,033 --> 00:36:09,634
IS THAT MY FAULT?
891
00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:12,133
NO, IT'S NOT.
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
892
00:36:12,133 --> 00:36:13,067
IT'S LIKE
YOU'RE A CHILD.
893
00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:14,300
THANK YOU.
894
00:36:14,300 --> 00:36:17,200
IS THAT WHAT
YOU THINK I SAID?
895
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,267
I'M NOT SAYING THAT!
896
00:36:19,267 --> 00:36:21,868
FINE. ALL RIGHT.
897
00:36:21,868 --> 00:36:24,968
IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
IT'S NOT SOMETHING
898
00:36:24,968 --> 00:36:27,067
THAT MAKES ME FEEL
PARTICULARLY SWELL, YOU KNOW.
899
00:36:27,067 --> 00:36:29,634
I'M NOT
EXACTLY DOING MY JOB IN THAT DEPARTMENT.
900
00:36:29,634 --> 00:36:32,000
YOU WERE TESTED.
YOU'RE FINE.
901
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,267
SO WERE YOU.
902
00:36:33,267 --> 00:36:34,734
YEAH, BUT COME ON.
903
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:36,601
WHAT?
904
00:36:36,601 --> 00:36:38,400
LET'S STOP
KIDDING OURSELVES.
905
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,868
IF THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG, IT'S ME.
906
00:36:39,868 --> 00:36:42,133
NO. NO.
907
00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,901
LOOK, THE TRUTH IS,
YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE KIDS,
908
00:36:44,901 --> 00:36:46,067
WHEREAS I--
909
00:36:46,067 --> 00:36:47,567
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS.
910
00:36:47,567 --> 00:36:49,400
YOU CAN HAVE KIDS,
SO IF I CAN'T,
911
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,734
THEN, FINE.
912
00:36:50,734 --> 00:36:52,667
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
YOU'LL MOVE ON.
913
00:36:52,667 --> 00:36:55,133
MOVE ON?
YES, YOU'LL LEAVE--
914
00:36:55,133 --> 00:36:56,200
LEAVE?
YOU COULD.
915
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,701
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK?
916
00:36:57,701 --> 00:36:59,267
IF I WAS
IN YOUR PLACE,
917
00:36:59,267 --> 00:37:02,067
AND IT'S
MY ONE CHANCE TO FATHER A CHILD--
918
00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,767
WELL,
THEN SHAME ON YOU!
919
00:37:05,167 --> 00:37:07,901
SHAME ON YOU
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK OF ME,
920
00:37:07,901 --> 00:37:10,968
THAT I WOULD LEAVE YOU?
921
00:37:10,968 --> 00:37:12,534
I'M NOT SAYING
YOU WILL.
922
00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:14,567
NO, BUT IF I DO,
IN CASE I DO,
923
00:37:14,567 --> 00:37:15,567
YOU GO FIND
ANOTHER GUY,
924
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,267
AND WHY DON'T YOU
LEAVE ME FIRST?
925
00:37:19,534 --> 00:37:20,801
MAYBE.
926
00:37:26,467 --> 00:37:28,734
HOW CAN YOU DOUBT
MY LOVE FOR YOU?
927
00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:32,133
BECAUSE I DO.
928
00:37:39,667 --> 00:37:42,334
WELL, THEN,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
929
00:37:42,334 --> 00:37:44,300
YOU WILL NEVER GET IT.
930
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:45,501
WHAT?
931
00:37:45,501 --> 00:37:46,667
YOU JUST--
932
00:37:49,133 --> 00:37:53,033
IF YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS,
I CAN'T HAVE KIDS.
933
00:37:53,033 --> 00:37:55,868
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU
HAPPENS TO ME.
934
00:37:57,100 --> 00:37:58,167
WHATEVER HAPPENS
HAPPENS TO US.
935
00:37:58,167 --> 00:38:01,868
DO YOU NOT GET THAT
BY NOW?
936
00:38:01,868 --> 00:38:04,267
I THOUGHT I DID.
937
00:38:07,667 --> 00:38:10,000
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
BE A BETTER HUSBAND.
938
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,868
I REALLY DON'T,
939
00:38:11,868 --> 00:38:15,200
AND I THINK
I'M PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
940
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,267
YOU ARE.
941
00:38:16,267 --> 00:38:17,868
THANK YOU.
942
00:38:17,868 --> 00:38:20,200
AND...SO AM I.
943
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,667
YES, YOU ARE.
YES, OF COURSE.
944
00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:24,200
I THINK WE'RE BOTH
PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
945
00:38:28,501 --> 00:38:30,734
AND YET,
NOBODY HERE IS HAPPY.
946
00:38:40,601 --> 00:38:41,868
I TOLD YOU.
947
00:38:45,501 --> 00:38:46,534
WHAT?
948
00:38:46,534 --> 00:38:49,601
I TOLD YOU
WHEN I MET YOU.
949
00:38:49,601 --> 00:38:52,634
TWO PEOPLE...
TOGETHER FOREVER--
950
00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:54,734
IT'S NOT REALISTIC.
I THINK IT'S...
951
00:38:54,734 --> 00:38:56,067
I THINK
IT'S TOO HARD.
952
00:38:58,167 --> 00:38:59,567
YES, IT IS.
953
00:38:59,567 --> 00:39:01,300
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
954
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,367
YES, IT IS.
955
00:39:03,367 --> 00:39:05,667
SO MAYBE THIS IS IT.
956
00:39:05,667 --> 00:39:08,534
WE GAVE IT OUR BEST SHOT.
957
00:39:08,534 --> 00:39:12,567
THIS IS AS FAR AS WE GOT.
958
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:14,701
IT'S A LOT FARTHER
THAN MOST PEOPLE GET, YOU KNOW.
959
00:39:17,567 --> 00:39:18,501
MAYBE.
960
00:39:23,501 --> 00:39:24,667
REALLY?
961
00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:29,300
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO DO BETTER THAN THIS.
962
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,734
SO...
963
00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:41,701
SEW BUTTONS.
964
00:39:50,033 --> 00:39:54,734
UM, WOULD YOU
DO ME A FAVOR, AND...
965
00:39:54,734 --> 00:39:56,767
WOULD YOU
TELL YOUR SISTER THAT I'M SORRY?
966
00:39:56,767 --> 00:39:58,767
I--I DON'T--
O.K.
967
00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:53,868
AM I DREAMING?
968
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,534
I'M SORRY.
I'M REALLY JUST SO SORRY.
969
00:44:06,534 --> 00:44:07,934
YOU DON'T
HAVE TO BE SORRY.
970
00:44:07,934 --> 00:44:09,300
I'M THE ONE
WHO HAS TO BE SORRY.
971
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,634
I JUST WANT YOU.
972
00:44:13,634 --> 00:44:15,133
I LOVE YOU.
973
00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:19,834
I JUST LOVE YOU.
974
00:44:24,767 --> 00:44:26,868
I DON'T CARE
HOW HARD IT IS.
975
00:44:26,868 --> 00:44:29,367
I DON'T, EITHER.
976
00:44:29,367 --> 00:44:30,400
I JUST REALLY--
I LOVE YOU...
977
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,667
IS THE THING.
978
00:45:16,367 --> 00:45:17,968
[TIMER TICKING]
979
00:45:24,267 --> 00:45:25,334
[DING]
980
00:45:25,384 --> 00:45:29,934
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