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1
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,267
Extra chunky.
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,965
Don't tell me I don't love you.
3
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,313
It's so good.
4
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,082
I'm gonna go.
Will you be back by 6?
5
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:21,914
Because you got the thing tonight.
6
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,521
I'll see you later.
7
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,447
If we don't go now,
we may as well not go.
8
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:27,245
Factory outlets
on a Saturday, murder.
9
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:31,618
I got it. We take the tunnel to 46th,
46th West, service road to Secaucus.
10
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,588
That's the way
we beat the crowds.
11
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,524
Relax. We're gonna be fine.
Wanna hear the letter again?
12
00:01:36,696 --> 00:01:37,685
Pauly, we heard it.
13
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,957
- "Dear Paul."
- Please don't do this now.
14
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:43,159
No, I'm not.
"Saw your recent film...
15
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:44,667
Enlightened.
16
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,001
- A sensitive eye."
- These outlet stores, they have lunch?
17
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,166
How can you think about food
when there's 60%% off?
18
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:54,313
- "Artistic soul."
- We'll eat afterwards. Let's just go.
19
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,278
"A lifter of human spirit."
20
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,542
If the good stuff is gone,
I'm blaming you.
21
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:02,210
"With love, Yoko Ono."
22
00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:04,717
See. It says "Yoko," then it says "Ono."
23
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,119
- So it's Yoko Ono.
- I see.
24
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,226
It starts "Dear Paul,"
and then "Love, Yoko."
25
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,123
- Very cool, Pauly.
- Are we going?
26
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,320
- Let's go.
- Are you ready?
27
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,022
- I'm ready.
- I've been ready.
28
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:16,066
- Are you ready?
- I'm waiting for you.
29
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,431
Let me read from this part.
"Dear Paul."
30
00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,608
It's not stealing.
31
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,574
- It's not not stealing.
- Yes, it is.
32
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:28,338
How many shirts
did you pay for?
33
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,504
Two.
34
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,047
How many shirts
are in that bag?
35
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:33,742
It was their mistake.
They gave me an extra shirt.
36
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,217
You're still on this thing?
37
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:38,084
I'm trying to teach my wife
a sense of right and wrong.
38
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,885
Done with the Happy
Delight Shrimp?
39
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,687
We didn't find it until the tunnel.
Did you wanna drive back?
40
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,227
I would have felt better.
41
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,127
If nobody's gonna eat
the Wonderful Taste Chicken...
42
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:48,422
What is this stuff?
43
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:51,035
Bean Curd of Majesty and Wonder.
44
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,970
Next time we go back,
we'll return the shirt.
45
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:57,234
- Would that make you feel better?
- Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind.
46
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,344
- It's just that Yoko Ono...
- Pauly.
47
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,411
She feels I'm a lifter
of human spirits.
48
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,516
So it doesn't look good for me
if my wife is a lifter of shirts.
49
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:07,615
You should keep the beige one,
and give back the taupe.
50
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,345
- What is taupe?
- It's like beige.
51
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,548
- The two I bought are beige.
- I thought the first one was tan.
52
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,386
It looked tan, but it was beige.
53
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,762
- That sweater I bought was beige?
- That was off-white.
54
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,822
More like a camel.
55
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,797
That guy never said "camel."
56
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,665
Of course not.
Camel's not a selling point.
57
00:03:25,838 --> 00:03:28,830
- Does it make me look lumpy?
- No.
58
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,908
- I'm getting a headache.
- It's the MSG.
59
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,806
There's no MSG.
60
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,344
This thing with MSG is a myth.
61
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:37,915
My ma put Accent on everything.
There was never an incident.
62
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,483
I'm so full, I could puke.
63
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,324
Thank you.
64
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,050
- No!
- Here you go, Frannie.
65
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,526
You're not supposed to hand someone
their fortune.
66
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,723
I thought it was electric wires
you don't hand people.
67
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,835
You take the one folded
toward you, and pass it to the right.
68
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,495
No! You can't put it down
after you touched it.
69
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:04,006
Tell me there's no MSG
in her food.
70
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:06,768
"Sunny smiles
make for pleasant days."
71
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:08,709
Bend over.
72
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,881
"You are loved by many."
73
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,714
- "Bad luck follows the guilty."
- Hey.
74
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,322
I'm not guilty. Who says I'm guilty?
75
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,186
Look at this.
This is mine.
76
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,488
"Your wife is guilty,
and you're right all the time."
77
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,831
- What's going on?
- I had to use your phone.
78
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,597
See? Bad luck's already here.
79
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,075
- Harriet!
- What is wrong with your phone?
80
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,676
They have this thing.
After 120 days, they shut it off.
81
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,211
Like, what, I'm not gonna pay them?
82
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,309
Did anybody call for us?
83
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,917
Harriet, that's why you should
break up with her.
84
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,110
Honey, who called?
85
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,720
Your mother, my mother,
your mother again.
86
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:54,257
- What is this?
- Yo-yo called.
87
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,089
- Yo-yo?
- Do you mean Yoko?
88
00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:00,494
Whatever. She's your friend.
89
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,592
You didn't get a number?
90
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,466
I was on the other line.
91
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,506
- Get off the phone, please.
- Excuse me?
92
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,667
Lisa, you're being bad.
93
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,571
I'll call you back. What?
94
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:17,204
- Do you know who that was?
- Harriet.
95
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:18,680
No, no, before.
96
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,081
That was Yoko Ono who called.
97
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,846
It didn't sound like her.
98
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,013
- Hey! Do you know...?
- Why would she call you?
99
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,785
I'm never gonna find out
because you didn't get her number.
100
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,293
Call information. How many
Y. Onos can there be?
101
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,624
Listen to me. She'll call back.
102
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,098
- How do you know?
- She's Yoko.
103
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,430
- What does that mean?
- She just will.
104
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:39,935
You didn't get her number!
105
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,007
Can I call Harriet,
or are you still yelling at me?
106
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,303
Please go elsewhere.
107
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,007
It's too late to call her now,
anyway.
108
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,081
You know what time
Yoko Ono goes to bed?
109
00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:54,208
Yes, I do. I read an article
in Vanity Fair.
110
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:58,050
"Sleeping Habits of the Stars."
Tony Randall takes naps.
111
00:05:58,424 --> 00:05:59,482
- Are you done?
- Yes.
112
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,556
Ira, it's me. Did you call here
and pretend you were Yoko?
113
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,325
Swear to me.
114
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:09,628
Swear? If you're lying,
I'll punch you in the lungs.
115
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:12,637
I don't know why she would call.
116
00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,706
Hold on a second. Tell him he
doesn't look lumpy in his sweater.
117
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,400
- You don't. I already said.
- Stop with the lumpy sweater.
118
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:20,876
I wanna get off the phone.
Yoko may call back.
119
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,639
I don't know why
she would call back.
120
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:26,717
I'll tell her you liked the poetry.
Goodbye. Get off the phone!
121
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,715
It wasn't Ira.
122
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:32,255
Excuse me very much.
Yoko Ono called our home.
123
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,620
I understand.
124
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:38,025
- What? What do you understand?
- She called.
125
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,829
You know, you...
You... You...
126
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,697
I can't believe...
127
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,238
Before me, I can't believe
you didn't even like the Beatles.
128
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,605
- I liked them.
- Well, not enough.
129
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,439
I don't have to love
everything you love.
130
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,581
Well, it wouldn't
kill you if you did.
131
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,272
Which one do you like better?
132
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:00,175
Which one is stolen?
133
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,579
I didn't steal it.
It was given to me.
134
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:08,318
Yeah, well, still,
it's ill-gotten gains.
135
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,557
Ill-gotten gains?
136
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:14,359
Yes, ma'am.
Gains that were illy gotten.
137
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,196
You eat grapes.
138
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:21,434
- I don't know what you're saying.
- In the supermarket.
139
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:24,876
Grapes in the supermarket?
That's not stealing.
140
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,773
Besides, they factor that in.
141
00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,246
They probably
factor in the shirt.
142
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:32,077
They know, once in a while,
somebody makes a mistake.
143
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:33,650
They're set up for that.
144
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,481
You don't know what you're saying.
145
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,852
Wait. A grape isn't stealing,
but a shirt is?
146
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,219
That's exactly right.
147
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,953
- So, what is the issue, size?
- Size, value.
148
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:47,327
Wait. It's smaller than a shirt,
but bigger than a grape.
149
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,362
- What is?
- What you're allowed to steal.
150
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,134
You're not allowed
to steal anything.
151
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,205
I didn't steal anything, and I'm
not driving back to New Jersey.
152
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,069
- Close the window. It's freezing.
- You should return it...
153
00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,269
...because, I've mentioned this,
bad luck follows the guilty.
154
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,812
I know.
Stop quoting our dessert.
155
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,540
Yeah, well. Hey, hey!
156
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,415
- What happened?
- That was meant for you.
157
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,525
Is this the stupidest thing
I ever bought?
158
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,163
Yes.
159
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:20,826
- Well, stop me.
- Stop.
160
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,333
I can't. I have to punish myself
for being so stupid.
161
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:28,601
What happened?
162
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,334
That almost hit my foot.
163
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,844
Do you know what?
I think I'm getting your luck.
164
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,345
What luck?
165
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,644
The bad luck that follows
the guilty. That luck.
166
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,155
One day, I'd like
to try hitting you.
167
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:45,957
All right, fine.
I won't say anything.
168
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,992
Okay, all right, come here.
If that shirt is not a jinx...
169
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:52,187
...how come, all of a sudden,
I'm out of cereal?
170
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,300
- Where?
- Right here. Right here. No cereal.
171
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,402
By the way, you notice, it's my cereal.
172
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,198
No problem with your cereal.
My cereal, we're out of.
173
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,841
Somehow, you and I
got all crossed in the cosmos.
174
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,170
They got us confused.
175
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:06,470
- Who?
- Who?
176
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,581
Whoever they are.
The people in charge there.
177
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,146
Damn!
178
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:15,151
They got to make a thing
for getting the shell out of the egg.
179
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:18,754
Damn. Like an eggshell
magnet thing.
180
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,260
Now, what?
181
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:33,203
What have you got,
a fur ball or something?
182
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:36,000
I got a little pit.
183
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,047
Heimlich me.
Heimlich me.
184
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:45,212
If you can say "Heimlich,"
you don't actually need it.
185
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:47,284
Humor me, would you?
Would you just...?
186
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,148
It's, like, stuck...
187
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,123
Okay, okay. There it...
188
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:55,851
This is not
so funny anymore.
189
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,858
What?
190
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,362
- That taupe shirt is trying to kill me.
- Come on.
191
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:04,526
Taupe shirt is trying to kill me. Since
when are there pits in concentrate?
192
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:05,693
Are you kidding?
193
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,271
I was before, but now I'm not so sure.
194
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,875
- Where are you going?
- To turn your life around.
195
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,807
- What are you doing?
- I'm getting rid of the taupe shirt.
196
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,914
Thank you.
197
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,844
- Are you happy?
- I think we'll live longer now.
198
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:23,116
Hello.
199
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:25,351
He's right here. Hold on one second.
200
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:26,684
It's Yoko!
201
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,323
Ono?
202
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,487
I'm pretty sure.
203
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:37,100
- The second you throw...
- It's Yoko Ono on the phone!
204
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,697
Hello?
205
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:44,309
Hi, hi. Well, how are you?
206
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,902
Thank you. Thank you very much.
207
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,173
That's very sweet. Thank you.
208
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,375
Tomorrow night?
Well, we would love that.
209
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,679
My parents wanted to have dinner.
210
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,655
We will absolutely be there.
211
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,591
We look forward. Thank you very much.
212
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,595
- Bye, now.
- What? What?
213
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:11,636
Got to go to a little cocktail party
at Yoko Ono's house.
214
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:15,399
A little cocktail party
at Yoko Ono's house.
215
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,743
Wow, wow, but you know what? Why?
216
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,572
- Don't.
- Why would she invite me?
217
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,714
Don't look for the bad in this.
218
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:26,076
I'm not. I'm not.
Maybe she wants me to do a film.
219
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,241
Maybe.
220
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,787
Maybe she has this rare Beatle
footage she wants me to look at.
221
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:33,982
I'm the only one she would trust
to look at this stuff.
222
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,457
Wouldn't that be really cool?
223
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,653
That would be great.
What am I gonna wear?
224
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,424
- Thank you for caring.
- I'm sorry.
225
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,829
Wear whatever you want,
but nothing that's cursed.
226
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,594
I don't want anything
to mess this up.
227
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,967
Nothing's gonna mess it up.
She loved your work. She'll love you.
228
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,405
I'm gonna do my strong, admiring
wife thing, which I got from her.
229
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,875
And she's gonna love me too.
230
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,442
Suddenly, this is a good day.
231
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,047
Look what I found
in front of your building.
232
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:04,280
- It's still got the price...
- This is going out the window.
233
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,185
- What? Was it your back?
- Pins in the shirt!
234
00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:08,826
Okay. I'll return it.
235
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,466
What time are we supposed
to be there?
236
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:16,623
Eightish.
237
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,667
"Ish"? Yoko said "ish"?
238
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,807
She said it right on our phone, baby.
239
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:25,102
- We are so cool!
- We are very cool.
240
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,177
You don't even like
the Beatles that much.
241
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,075
- I like them.
- Well, not enough.
242
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,045
- I love Yoko.
- Yeah, well...
243
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:32,775
Hey, what are you doing?
244
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,580
- What?
- Blouse of death! Blouse of death!
245
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,750
- No, it's not.
- That looks pretty taupe to me.
246
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,290
It's beige. I returned the blouse of death.
247
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,195
You returned it? All right, all right.
248
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:47,093
- Did you go to the dry cleaner's?
- Yeah. Are you kidding?
249
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,895
- Got my lucky jacket pressed.
- You have a lucky jacket?
250
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,364
Sure. This is the jacket
I was wearing...
251
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,507
...the time I got
the great parking spot.
252
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,600
In front of Gristede's.
253
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,268
- Honey...
- Plus...
254
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:03,415
...I was wearing this the time we won
free pancakes at the IHOP.
255
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,072
The scratch-off thing.
256
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,946
- I'm not sure the jacket...
- Trust me.
257
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:11,146
This wool was worn by lucky lambs.
258
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:15,018
- Who the hell is that?
- I don't know. Would you get it?
259
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:18,755
Yes, because I'm so much
closer to the door than you.
260
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:22,397
- Should I wear earrings?
- Absolutely. Definitely.
261
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,162
What do I care what you're
wearing or not wearing?
262
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,199
It's Fran.
263
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,904
- Hi. What's going on?
- We're getting dressed.
264
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:33,511
You just missed the earring
discussion by two seconds.
265
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,306
Wanna be out of here
in five minutes.
266
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,540
- What's going on?
- Nothing. What are you doing?
267
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,809
I told you. We're going to Yoko's.
268
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,317
Right. Was that tonight?
269
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:47,619
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere. I'm free.
270
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:51,820
- Fran, I can't just bring you.
- I'm your best friend.
271
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,862
- I can't.
- I hired a babysitter.
272
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,330
- No.
- I'm a widow.
273
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,867
- You're divorced.
- I'm divorced.
274
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,005
I'm sorry.
Could I borrow your earrings?
275
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:01,161
Sure.
276
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,468
Cute outfit. I love how
the black offsets the taupe.
277
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:05,940
What?
278
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,505
It's not taupe. I returned the taupe.
279
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,377
- What are you doing?
- I'm proving a point.
280
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:12,574
You ready?
281
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,143
Call you in the morning.
282
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,051
I memorized the entire album
where they were naked.
283
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:19,886
- You got money for cab?
- No.
284
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,117
I got money.
285
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,224
What was that?
286
00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,887
It wasn't me.
287
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,466
I ripped my jacket!
288
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,330
Wear your other one. The gray one.
289
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:35,269
- This is my lucky jacket.
- Fine. I will sew it in the cab.
290
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:38,604
How could I possibly
rip my lucky jacket?
291
00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:40,108
Are you sure that's not taupe?
292
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,711
- I'm telling you, it's beige.
- You said it was off-white.
293
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,284
- It's so off-white that it's beige.
- How come I'm...?
294
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,819
- It's not the one.
- All right, all right.
295
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,394
Thank you.
296
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,055
72nd Street, please,
and Central Park West.
297
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,757
See how lucky we are?
298
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,233
- How are we lucky?
- This is a Checker Cab.
299
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,395
There are six of these
in the whole city.
300
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,370
I love the little jump seats.
301
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:16,212
- Sure you returned the right shirt?
- Yes. Give me your sleeve.
302
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,077
All right. Hey, do me a...
Hey.
303
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,115
You should count
your blessings.
304
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,914
- You don't have a steak knife?
- It could've ripped at Yoko's.
305
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:25,750
You know how embarrassed
you would have been?
306
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,257
Excuse me.
It says "No smoking" back here.
307
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,293
That's in the back.
308
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,192
Yeah, but still. Would you mind?
309
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:36,198
It calms me.
310
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,063
Fine. I understand.
311
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:42,333
- 227. Come in, 227.
- Don't you 227 me.
312
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,941
What time are you getting home?
313
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,474
Make your own dinner.
314
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,477
Did it ever occur to youI might miss you?
315
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,445
We never cuddle anymore.
316
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,646
- Explain to me the luck in this.
- I think they're sweet.
317
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,789
- You're right. I've been remiss.
- You don't care. What do you care?
318
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,322
- I care.
- You don't care...
319
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:03,325
...I'm out here driving in bad weather
with bald tires, no brakes.
320
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:05,554
For all you care
I could drive off a bridge.
321
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,130
Want me to drive off a bridge?
322
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,200
- No. Nobody wants that.
- What do you want from me?
323
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,564
I want you to pull your weightin this marriage.
324
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:16,731
I'm not working hard enough?
Fine. I'll pick up two fares.
325
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:19,934
Excuse me, Rita.
326
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,670
- You already have...
- Get in!
327
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,611
Just get me out of this city
and as close to England as possible.
328
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,149
Got it.
329
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,879
Could you stop on 72nd Street
on the way, please.
330
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,818
I don't grab you Yanks at all.
331
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,788
I'm sorry. What did we do?
332
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,017
Really.
333
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:38,129
Excuse me, this is
the no-smoking section here.
334
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:39,958
I have no patience for health.
335
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,067
- He's allergic.
- Fine.
336
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,668
If we ever go to England,
now we'll know someone.
337
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,138
Hey, you drivingwithout your glasses again?
338
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,298
No.
339
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,604
Then what are they doinghere on my desk?
340
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:57,647
You used to tell me
I had pretty eyes.
341
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,043
Maybe we can get
a little more air back here?
342
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,414
I'll toss it out.
Will that make you happy?
343
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,579
- Yeah. Very much so, yes.
- Fine.
344
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:07,447
Honey.
345
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:10,117
Rita, pull over!
346
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,598
- What are you doing?
- It's taupe, all right?
347
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:18,236
I was trying to prove a point.
You win.
348
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:21,840
Are you kidding?
You practically killed me here!
349
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,335
What are you looking at?
350
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:25,136
She reminds me of my mum.
351
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,574
- There's a Macy's right there.
- So what?
352
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:30,010
- I can get another blouse.
- They're having a sale.
353
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,878
See how lucky we are?
354
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,156
- We're already 20 minutes late.
- Women's blouses.
355
00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:41,792
- Seventh floor.
- Thank you.
356
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,657
Second floor.
357
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,561
Men's furnishings
and accessories.
358
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:54,730
Wallets, belts, ties,
cravats, suspenders...
359
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,204
Excuse me.
360
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,674
- Who are you telling this to?
- You.
361
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,838
Watchbands...
362
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,346
...hosiery, handkerchiefs...
363
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,883
Excuse me. We really
don't need to know this.
364
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:11,754
Would you rather just push a button?
365
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:17,326
- No, no.
- Sorry. Please, go on.
366
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,557
Thank you.
367
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:23,326
Outerwear, sportswear...
368
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,231
...camping apparel...
369
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:26,735
...tents...
370
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:28,202
...huts...
371
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:29,704
...hats...
372
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,399
...socks...
373
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,511
...hip boots...
374
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:37,713
Seventh floor.
Women's apparel.
375
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:39,475
Casual wear...
376
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,050
...eveningwear...
377
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,710
...active wear...
378
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,355
...fun wear...
379
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,991
...leisurewear.
380
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,660
Careful getting out.
381
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:51,988
Miniskirts...
382
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:55,292
Come on. You got the blouse.
Let's pay. Yoko's waiting.
383
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,493
I just wanna look at some shoes.
384
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,228
These don't match
my blouse anymore.
385
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:02,635
I will end your life right now.
386
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,741
All right, 72nd Street.
387
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,783
Where is Rita?
388
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,387
She's looking at shoes.
389
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,418
We're two hours late.
Let's just forget it.
390
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,995
They already buzzed us up.
391
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,220
I bet we woke her.
392
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,698
Her parties go on all night.
I read it in Vanity Fair.
393
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,336
I actually did this time.
394
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,107
Good evening.
395
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,836
- Paul and Jamie Buchman.
- Yes. Come in.
396
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,041
Paul Buchman.
397
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,311
You're on the guest list
for tomorrow night.
398
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,216
Right.
399
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:53,448
Did you say tomorrow night?
400
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,492
Yes. The missis comes back
from London in the morning.
401
00:19:57,796 --> 00:20:01,254
- I don't know... I could've sworn...
- Excuse us. We're very sorry.
402
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,957
Are you two all right?
403
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,035
Actually, I'd love to use the powder room.
404
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,469
Of course, dear.
Right there, in the back.
405
00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:11,806
I've had a very rough day.
406
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,072
Would you like some tea?
407
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,343
I would really love some tea.
Thank you. I'd love some tea.
408
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,577
And a cookie?
409
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,789
Make yourself comfortable.
I will be right back.
410
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,829
Excuse me.
411
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:37,295
- Is that actually his?
- Yes.
412
00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:06,821
- You're in heaven.
- I'm in heaven.
413
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,196
See? If there were a party, we'd have
to talk to people we don't know.
414
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:11,961
You'd never get near this thing.
415
00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:16,835
Do you believe where we're standing?
416
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:22,636
What I would give to sit at this piano
and play one note.
417
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:24,075
Well, go on.
418
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,649
- No. No.
- Go on!
419
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:29,082
- No. It's not right.
- Says who?
420
00:21:29,254 --> 00:21:32,121
I don't know. I just feel like I shouldn't.
421
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,953
Will you do it for me?
422
00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:15,498
"Life with no F is a lie."
423
00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:19,292
Life with no...
424
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:23,134
"Confucius say,
but who will listen?"
425
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:27,371
Now, this... Here.
426
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:31,539
"Hats are wasted on a man
with no head."
427
00:22:31,717 --> 00:22:32,706
Haven't I said that?
428
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:36,285
My grandfather used to say that,
and I wouldn't believe him.
429
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:39,356
"When in doubt, cut to the skyline."
430
00:22:39,406 --> 00:22:43,956
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