All language subtitles for Mad About You s02e01 Murrays Tale.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,459 Down! 2 00:00:04,904 --> 00:00:06,303 Come on. Get down. 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,941 Get off the couch. 4 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,540 What's that? Is that a piece of bloody beef on the floor? I think it is. 5 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,074 - Get down. - Sweetie... 6 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,012 ...let me show you. 7 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,016 Down. Get down. 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,315 Down. 9 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,049 He's not warmed up. 10 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,694 Sit. Okay. 11 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,387 Lay there. Okay. 12 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,863 Murray, you've had the TV all day. So why don't you give us a turn? 13 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,436 - That's it. Reason with him. - He can do this. It's not that hard. 14 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,165 Come on, just get off the couch. Get off the couch. 15 00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,537 Seriously, no kidding around. Get off the couch. 16 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,108 Want to go to a movie instead? 17 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,698 - How's it going? - Want to taste? 18 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,599 - It's great. - Really? 19 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,969 - Wow, that's bad! - I didn't wanna say. 20 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,712 It needs a lot less of something. 21 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,611 - Did you get dessert? - Yes, I did. Right there. 22 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,051 - Please don't eat it now! - Why do you care? 23 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,985 Because I know that means you're gonna eat mine later. 24 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,318 Where is yours anyway? 25 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,925 You're hiding your brownie from me? 26 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:11,486 No. 27 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,393 I'm the executor of your will. 28 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,399 Yeah, but I ain't leaving you my brownies. 29 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,400 Did you talk to your sister about this? 30 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:25,169 - She says the buzzer sticks. - It doesn't stick for normal people. 31 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,579 You're so easy. 32 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,241 I'm coming. 33 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,022 Boy, we got a lot of peas. 34 00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,085 - Lis! - It sticks. 35 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,252 Come in. 36 00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:45,419 Hey, is Murray home? 37 00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:47,689 - Again? - I'm just taking him for a walk. 38 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,994 Let me tell you something. Murray is aware... 39 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,263 ...you're only taking him out to meet guys. 40 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,162 It's not a secret. 41 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,776 Yeah, but why don't you get him a big hat and an El Dorado? 42 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,576 Come on, Paul. It's a half-hour out of his life. 43 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,872 - Yeah, but in dog minutes... - Let her take him. 44 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,382 It's his decision. I just work here. 45 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:10,956 Out? Wanna go out? Yeah, who's a good boy? Who's a good...? 46 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:13,055 Can I get a little help? 47 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:15,820 My client feels this is non-negotiable. 48 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:18,987 And I must say, frankly, I agree. 49 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:27,837 She wants you to go in the kitchen. 50 00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,570 - Out of the question. - Why? 51 00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:35,339 Every time she does this, he leaves stupid, but he comes back depressed. 52 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,348 - Come on, she means well. - But she doesn't do well. 53 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,146 It's fun for Murray. It's good for Lisa. 54 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,085 If she meets somebody, she won't be over here as much. 55 00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,246 Thank you. 56 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,653 Lis, it's okay. 57 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,419 - Where did you find that? - I was looking for peas. 58 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,997 Like your family is just so perfect. 59 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,430 - Fine, take the dog. - Great. 60 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,536 - I want him back in 30 minutes. - Whatever. 61 00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,729 - Not whatever! Just... - Have fun, you two. 62 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,203 I will. 63 00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,363 Behind the peas. 64 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,703 Oh, yeah. You would've found them. 65 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,880 Tell me again. This is whites or colors? 66 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,983 It's striped. 67 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:13,618 I know, but in laundry terms? 68 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,209 Stop badgering me. 69 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,550 - There's Lisa. - No kidding. 70 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,159 And only two hours late. 71 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,061 He's the most irresponsible dog. You won't believe what he put me through. 72 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,166 - You okay? - You okay? 73 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,167 We were worried about you. 74 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,827 He's peppy. What'd you do to him? 75 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,407 I let him off his leash for two seconds to talk to this cute Filipino guy. 76 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,510 You let him off the leash? 77 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,270 All the other dogs were. 78 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,004 - Didn't I mention the leash? - No. 79 00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:45,116 I did. There was a huge leash discussion. Yes, there was. 80 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,412 I looked all over the park. I thought I lost him. 81 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:51,023 - Yeah, you did lose him. - Then I found him. 82 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,181 Yes, but first you lost him. 83 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:56,157 You can't find something you didn't lose. See how that works? 84 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,263 - Lf... - It's okay now. 85 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:01,590 - The whole purpose... - Okey-dokey. 86 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:06,270 - Did you take quarters? - Yes, I have quarters. 87 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:11,699 - He hates me. - He's okay. Sit. 88 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,973 You know, if he doesn't wanna like me, fine. But I'm not gonna beg! 89 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,084 - Do you see this? - You should've seen him. 90 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,156 He was so cute, I could barely speak. 91 00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,285 Say that again. 92 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,824 I believe she was talking to me. 93 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:37,730 Lisa, this is not Murray. 94 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,701 What do you mean? 95 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,070 No, I mean, it looks like Murray, but this isn't Murray! 96 00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,177 - Are you sure? - Yes! 97 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:50,908 Murray has a white spot and vacant eyes. 98 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,681 This dog knows things. 99 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:59,556 - I can't believe you got the wrong dog! - I think it's a pretty good match. 100 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,194 - Get out of here! - Okay. 101 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,727 Take the dog! 102 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,330 - And do what? - You trade him in for Murray! 103 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,024 - I don't know where Murray is. - Well, find him. 104 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,638 - Are you gonna tell Paul? - Yeah, right. Just get going! 105 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,296 - Hi. - I forgot quarters. 106 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,033 I thought you two already went out. 107 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:22,074 That's funny. That's what regular dogs do. 108 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,012 They bark when you say "out." 109 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,314 - Where did that come from? - I taught him. 110 00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:32,151 Good for you. Try teaching him how to sit. 111 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,489 - Done. - So where you going? 112 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,062 We're working on this balancing-ball thing. 113 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,498 - They need 20 minutes. - Two trips in one day... 114 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:45,830 ...I don't want his head to explode. 115 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:49,532 Okay, well, thanks for coming over. Find him. 116 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,177 Murray, that was very impressive. Give me a little hug. 117 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,505 - Paul? - What? 118 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,112 Come here. 119 00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:01,778 What? 120 00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,945 What? 121 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,818 Was there a reason for this trip? 122 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:12,191 Yeah, I just want to say... 123 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,856 I really, really... 124 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,002 I just love you. 125 00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:22,701 I love you too, honey. What's the bad news? 126 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,866 What? 127 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,978 - What's the bad news? - I said I love you. 128 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,706 No, you didn't. You said, "I really, really." 129 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:32,077 You took a pause, and you said, "I just love you." 130 00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:34,549 So I know that can't be good. 131 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,211 Baby, I'm the one who can't be good. 132 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,325 Excuse me? 133 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,155 What is this? Murray, what is this? 134 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,887 Let's dance! 135 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,089 This is really bad news, isn't it? 136 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,291 No, I'm just feeling kind of dancy. 137 00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,503 Isn't that nice? 138 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:03,080 Well, kind of nice, yeah. 139 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,840 Look at him. Murray's dancing too. 140 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,687 Murray's da... Hello! 141 00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:20,963 Thank you very much. 142 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:24,364 - Okay, he's not at any of the shelters. - Maybe the police can help. 143 00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:28,132 The police. No, they don't care. They're all busy with snipers. 144 00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:31,037 - Not all of them. - Well, the good ones. 145 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,269 It's worth a try. Let's get a picture. 146 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,643 Let's face it. Murray probably hasn't even figured out that he's lost. 147 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:39,751 I'm sure he just thinks the apartment got bigger. 148 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,820 Ira, it's very easy to make fun, but picture if Lisa walked you... 149 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,150 - Why would she walk me? - I'm making a comparison. 150 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:48,392 Pauly, I promise. Murray is gonna come out of this thing okay. 151 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:49,960 - That dog is blessed. - Blessed. 152 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,757 Yes, did he ever tell you about the night we found Murray? 153 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,628 - I found Murray. - Who gave him his turkey sandwich? 154 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,599 - Who gave you my turkey sandwich? - Who paid for your turkey sandwich? 155 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,399 - Whose idea was it to eat poultry? - Guys. 156 00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,701 There's an entire heading under "Location Services, Dog." 157 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,141 I need something to write on. 158 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,114 Thank you. 159 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:11,543 He is so smart. 160 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,278 So what? Murray's no genius, but he has a vibe. I'm telling you. 161 00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:17,115 I met more chicks walking that dog. 162 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,850 - Really? - Yeah. Not as many as him. 163 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,859 - Really? - Just find a picture. 164 00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,162 I met my wife walking Murray. 165 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,923 - So? - Why do you make it sound dirty? 166 00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,761 - I didn't make it sound dirty. - Yes, you did. 167 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:33,796 - Hi, Warren. - Here's the film Paul wanted. 168 00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,199 That's not Murray. 169 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:40,036 Murray's lost. Try to cheer him up. 170 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:43,808 No, no, no. 171 00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:47,451 Not him. Him. 172 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,451 Smile. 173 00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:59,290 I'm tapped. 174 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,894 I got one. I got it right here. He looks so lost. Look how lost. 175 00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,199 And that's when you had him. 176 00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:13,741 - I wonder who that could be. - Maybe she found him. 177 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:17,382 I wanted to replace the brownie I ate. 178 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:22,747 Isn't that nice? You lose a dog, and you come back with cake. 179 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,020 I guess I got hungry. 180 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,121 So basically you brought me a bag? 181 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,619 Whatever happened to, "It's the thought"? 182 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,061 - Here's a thought... - Honey, we will find him. 183 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,758 Now, come on! Let's go to the police station. 184 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,995 - Ira, you take the park. - I'll go with him. 185 00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:43,198 - No, not at night. You could get killed. - Yeah, but if she really wants to... 186 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,105 I'll cruise the neighborhood in my car. 187 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:48,337 Take the car. And, Warren, you know what? You ride... 188 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:49,776 What's the word for that? 189 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:52,782 - With her. - Yes, but there's a special word. 190 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,613 - Passenger? - No, it's more official. 191 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,516 - Honey, come on. - In tandem. 192 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,088 - No. - Shotgun? 193 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,122 No. Yes, shotgun. You ride shotgun. 194 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,955 I was really excited about "in tandem." 195 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:18,799 This is the city your sister decides to lose my dog in. 196 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:21,139 Do you want to find Murray or beat up my sister? 197 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,803 Frankly, I'd like to do both. 198 00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:28,147 We have a 10-30 in progress at 9th and Bleeker. Request backup. 199 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,756 10-4 here. All available units, please respond. 200 00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:32,913 - Excuse me. - Yeah. 201 00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,957 - We'd like to... - How long has it been gone? 202 00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,755 - Since this afternoon. - I can't do anything for 48 hours. 203 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,490 Come in tomorrow. You fill out a missing persons report. 204 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:43,999 There's a little snag. It's not a person. It's my dog. 205 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,104 A dog? 206 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,598 Well, that we can take care of now. 207 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:53,338 That poor dog, all alone out there. 208 00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:56,811 And this is such a tough town to meet people. 209 00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,515 Don't worry. I have an amazing gift. 210 00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:02,654 - What kind of gift? - I'm a peripheral visionary. 211 00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,382 Which would be? 212 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,217 I can see into the future, but just way off to the side. 213 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,864 - How often are you right? - Occasionally. 214 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,556 And the other times? 215 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,998 I'm not right. 216 00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,363 How is that different from guessing? 217 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,331 Look, don't mock me. 218 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,947 - This is so nice of you. - Yeah, I had a dog too. 219 00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,106 - So you know. - I know. 220 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:35,344 Armed robbery in progress. All units respond... 221 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:38,516 Sorry for the interruption. 222 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,552 You know, actually, it was my partner, Pete. 223 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:45,160 - So Pete had the dog? - Pete was the dog. 224 00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,799 We met at the academy. Let me show you a picture. 225 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,491 This is us at the graduation. 226 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:52,502 Look at his little tassel. 227 00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:55,105 The last time anybody saw our dog, it was in the park. 228 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:59,037 Petey loved the park. This is us at the precinct barbecue. 229 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:00,200 What's the ribbon for? 230 00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:03,007 We won the five-legged race. 231 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,377 He's a collie. He's like a mixed breed. 232 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:09,317 - You must be very close. - Yeah, really. He took a bullet for me. 233 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:11,285 The mayor came to his funeral. 234 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,823 Ours was misplaced by my sister-in-law. 235 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,893 - I had a sister-in-law too. - So you know? 236 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,393 I know. 237 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,764 Murray! 238 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,627 - Murray! - Yeah! 239 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,069 Murray the dog! 240 00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,633 Murray the dog! 241 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:35,013 If you were a lost dog, what would you be doing? 242 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,978 Probably sniffing your leg. 243 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,242 - Okay, let's try something else. - Okay, name it. 244 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,480 - Ira, give me a break. - What? You don't like me anymore? 245 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,558 It was a year and a half ago. I was drunk at my sister's wedding. 246 00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,751 And, frankly, I needed to punish myself. 247 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,397 Nice, Lis. So you used me just like you used Murray. 248 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,692 I'm gonna go find Murray. 249 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:59,099 Yeah, but I used you first. 250 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,534 You see, that's what made Petey such a good cop. 251 00:14:05,711 --> 00:14:06,871 He was a family man. 252 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,513 Maybe like an APB or something, or... 253 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,708 You know that his youngest daughter was in Annie. 254 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,546 - On Broadway? - No, dinner theater. 255 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,381 - But still! - Sweetie. 256 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:20,218 - It's impressive! - Got some great reviews. Look. 257 00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,553 You know, maybe we should see an officer... 258 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,992 ...who doesn't have as much personal experience. 259 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,793 I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I guess I still got some issues. 260 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:31,061 Of course you do. 261 00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:35,734 You know what? We brought a picture, if that helps. 262 00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:45,173 I... 263 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,145 I think I found your dog. 264 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:55,155 It's just amazing. One day I'm happily married, and then the next, poof! 265 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,591 I saw it coming. 266 00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:01,932 - Why didn't you say anything? - Because I wasn't sure. 267 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:06,697 I thought either Mark would leave you, or Irving Berlin would die. 268 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:11,702 - Irving Berlin did die. - Really? 269 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,706 Keep driving. I'm hot. 270 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,173 Ira! 271 00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:23,113 Ira! 272 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,582 Ira! 273 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,690 I'm sure he's fine. 274 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:35,959 You don't know that. He could be out there eating out of garbage cans. 275 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,569 He does that here. 276 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:42,071 At least it's our garbage, not some stranger's garbage. 277 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:45,176 That's the lowest thing there is, stranger garbage. 278 00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:48,643 Don't use Murray's bowl. Can't you use a different bowl? 279 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:52,306 Fine. This guy gets his own bowl. 280 00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:56,081 Great. What? We're keeping him now? Now we got two dogs? 281 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,485 No, I don't want two dogs. 282 00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:00,818 So then let's just get rid of Murray altogether. 283 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:04,292 Who's Murray? I don't even remember Murray. 284 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,227 I know somebody who needs a nap. 285 00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:11,702 I'm just, you know... I'm just saying, if I vanish one day... 286 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:15,533 ...and some guy suddenly showed up who was exactly like me but better... 287 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:16,902 ...would you keep him? 288 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,976 How is he better? 289 00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,875 - I'm talking hypothetically. - Would he go shopping? 290 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,140 - I don't know. - I just want to understand. 291 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,114 Okay, he's exactly like me... 292 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,447 ...but he doesn't leave wet towels on the bed. 293 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:32,818 - What about socks? - Socks, I'm not so sure. 294 00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,288 - What about his mother? - Pleasant, no phone. 295 00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,122 I'll take him. 296 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,958 Let's take it from your point of view. 297 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,726 How would you like it if I found some woman... 298 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,631 ...who was exactly like you but better? 299 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:47,905 How is she better? 300 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,335 What? 301 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,167 How is who better? 302 00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:55,141 Well, I'm interested. 303 00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:58,181 She's not better. 304 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,910 She's not. No, I say... She's not better. She's different. 305 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,350 You know, she's whatever. She's like you, but... 306 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,513 I don't know. Taller. Can I take that nap now? 307 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,659 No. 308 00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,522 So, what does this Amazon do? 309 00:17:10,929 --> 00:17:14,194 You're so cruel. She's not an Amazon. She's a little tall, that's all. 310 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,426 She's... You... She's... It doesn't matter what she does anyway. 311 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,094 She's... It doesn't matter what I do or what you do. 312 00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,762 There's a quality you have. 313 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:25,603 There's a certain "youness," you know? And that's what I'm in love with. 314 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:26,836 No matter what I do? 315 00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:30,072 Yes. Listen, if love depended on what you do, then I'd love this guy. 316 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,876 But I don't. I love this guy. 317 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,418 - Because? - Because he has a basic Murrayness. 318 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,986 So that's why I love him, and that's why I love you. 319 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,792 I have a Murrayness? 320 00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:45,126 You do. You really do. 321 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,158 You were very close to the edge there. 322 00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:51,393 - But I pulled it off. - You did. You really did. 323 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,061 Let me talk to them. 324 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,228 - The police... - Hello? 325 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,807 ...they love me. - You're kidding. No, put them on. 326 00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:00,308 It's Sergeant Panino. A couple came in with a dog... 327 00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,915 ...who looks just like him but dumber! 328 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,675 Hello. Yes. 329 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:07,148 He's right here. I'll try. 330 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:08,308 Simon? 331 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:13,420 It's Simon. Okay, ours is Murray. 332 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,423 No response at all. That's him. 333 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,563 Great. Great. 334 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,798 They're on their way over. 335 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,298 You know, that girl... 336 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:29,100 - Is my sister. - I know. 337 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,935 You know, Lisa has a Murrayness too. 338 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,374 - Oh, please. - She does for me. 339 00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,775 Then you don't understand Murrayness. 340 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:36,937 I do too. 341 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,846 Well, I thought you did, but I can see you don't. 342 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,253 - Stop that! - We found Murray. 343 00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:43,410 - You did? - Yes. 344 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:46,080 - Oh, my God. - Where is Ira? 345 00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,316 I don't know. 346 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:51,452 - Now you lost my cousin. - But we found Murray. 347 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,729 Thank God that's over. Do you have any food? 348 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,893 Excuse me. That's all you have to say? That's it? 349 00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,839 You're so funny. 350 00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:05,403 How am I funny? 351 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:07,477 You put this whole thing on me. 352 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,637 Yes, well, and I should put it on whom? 353 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,512 Your dog! Be trained or don't be trained. Make up your mind. 354 00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:16,449 Do you see? Lis, okay. See, you don't... 355 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,522 The whole... The whole... I don't... 356 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,749 I lost my whole train of thought now. 357 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,689 - I was... - You were about to forgive me. 358 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,988 No, I wasn't, because every time I forgive you... 359 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,689 ...you do something stupid. 360 00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,198 Look, she puts... 361 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:36,032 That's really nice. I look for your dumb dog and this is what I get? 362 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,106 - You lost my dumb dog! - Give her a break. 363 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,336 I am. I'm not mentioning the VCR she broke... 364 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:44,141 ...or the $600 you owe us or the scratched-up Danny Kaye albums. 365 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,908 And I appreciate it. 366 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,109 - You can't appreciate it. - Paul. 367 00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:51,381 Stop protecting her. She's my family too, and I can yell at her. 368 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,219 - Really? - Lf you'd use your brain once in a while... 369 00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:55,985 ...you know, you might like it. 370 00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:59,092 - You think of me as family? - What? 371 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:01,232 Yes. Of course I think of you as family. 372 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,368 - That's so sweet. - What? Don't... 373 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,504 I'm yelling at you. If you get mushy, it defeats the whole purpose. 374 00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:10,233 No, don't do that now. Don't... 375 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,244 She doesn't even know how to get yelled at. 376 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:18,577 - Thank you. - Fine. All right. Good. 377 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:21,075 That's how you ring a doorbell. 378 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:24,580 - Hi. - Hi. 379 00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:25,814 Murray. 380 00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,424 Did we miss you, buddy boy. 381 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,720 - We're the Buchmans. - We're the Beckners. 382 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,021 - I'm Paul. - Saul. 383 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:33,426 - Janey. - Jamie. 384 00:20:34,666 --> 00:20:35,655 Murray, sit. 385 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,496 Murray, sit. 386 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,836 - It's all in the tone. - Yeah, well, I'll have to remember that. 387 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:44,270 Come in, please. 388 00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:45,740 So where's Simon? 389 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,742 I'll get him. 390 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,346 Let's put Murray in the bedroom. 391 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,448 Meeting Simon, he doesn't need that. 392 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,278 Murray, boudoir. 393 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:59,520 - He's got quite an ear for languages. - Yeah, yeah. 394 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:03,392 - Except English, he's not so good. - English, not so good. 395 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,330 So, what do you guys do? 396 00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:08,796 I teach physics at Columbia. 397 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:10,525 Neurosurgeon. 398 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,995 So you both have little jobs. That's good. That's good. 399 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:17,403 - That's a beautiful jacket. - Thanks. 400 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:20,170 Saul picked it out for me. He loves to shop. 401 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:24,341 - Really? - Hey, here's our Simon. Hey, Simon. 402 00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:26,882 You guys must have been jumping out of your skin. 403 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:30,021 Well, I have to admit, at first, we were a bit dysphoric. 404 00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:33,817 But you know who really held us together was Janey's sister. 405 00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:35,619 The woman is a rock. 406 00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:39,458 Really? Her sister's a rock. Did you hear that? 407 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,259 - Well, honey, we're gonna be late. - Yeah. 408 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:44,364 Simon, go get the elevator. 409 00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:46,036 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 410 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,569 Thank you. Nice to meet you. 411 00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:49,832 - Bye now. - Bye-bye. 412 00:21:50,008 --> 00:21:52,499 Get out of my house. 413 00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,506 Honey, dysphoric? 414 00:21:55,681 --> 00:21:58,115 I'm gonna look it up right now. 415 00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:07,983 - Honey, I'm glad he's home too, but... - Come on, just this once. 416 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,694 Murray, get off the bed. 417 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:13,631 Good boy. 418 00:22:13,681 --> 00:22:18,231 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31884

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