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1
00:00:08,854 --> 00:00:10,487
(clicking)
2
00:00:10,555 --> 00:00:11,689
Oh, hi.
Hi, can I--
3
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,861
(lid clanging)
4
00:00:16,928 --> 00:00:20,364
- Hi-- Hi, can I get some help
with the copper pots? - Yes?
5
00:00:20,432 --> 00:00:22,666
Oh, those are
professional grade.
6
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,702
Like, for very serious cooks.
7
00:00:24,769 --> 00:00:27,304
Oh, I'm a--
I'm--
8
00:00:27,372 --> 00:00:29,473
I am interested in them.
9
00:00:29,541 --> 00:00:30,973
I need to get a key
to unlock them
10
00:00:31,007 --> 00:00:33,073
and we're about to close up.
11
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,716
Can you believe that shit?
12
00:00:45,287 --> 00:00:48,155
13
00:00:56,364 --> 00:00:58,199
(kisses)
14
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,135
Shh.
15
00:01:01,203 --> 00:01:03,003
And your receipt's in the bag.
16
00:01:03,071 --> 00:01:05,806
Thanks so much.
17
00:01:05,874 --> 00:01:07,107
Hi.
Hello.
18
00:01:07,175 --> 00:01:08,275
Is this everything?
19
00:01:08,343 --> 00:01:10,377
Yeah, I guess so.
20
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,379
Great.
21
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,749
I would have really liked to
have looked at the pots.
22
00:01:15,817 --> 00:01:17,484
What's that?
23
00:01:17,552 --> 00:01:18,953
I was really interested
in those--
24
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:21,589
in the copper pots.
25
00:01:21,656 --> 00:01:23,090
Yeah, we're closing now, though.
26
00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:24,291
Yeah.
27
00:01:27,262 --> 00:01:29,430
Listen, can I--
Can I say something?
28
00:01:29,497 --> 00:01:32,233
Mm-hmm?
I just--
29
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,968
Look, I'm an idiot, okay?
30
00:01:34,035 --> 00:01:36,437
I'm the kind of idiot that will
come into a store like this
31
00:01:36,504 --> 00:01:39,173
and I'll buy tons of stuff
that I don't need,
32
00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:41,275
just 'cause I love
this kind of stuff,
33
00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:42,823
and I probably would
have spent, like,
34
00:01:42,844 --> 00:01:44,845
I don't know,
$2,000 in here today
35
00:01:44,913 --> 00:01:47,615
if you had paid any
attention to me,
36
00:01:47,682 --> 00:01:51,185
so you know, I mean, I get it
that maybe you just work here,
37
00:01:51,253 --> 00:01:52,686
so it doesn't matter to you,
38
00:01:52,754 --> 00:01:54,421
but I would think that
the owners of the store--
39
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,891
I am the owner.
40
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:58,592
You are?
41
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,527
Yes.
42
00:02:00,595 --> 00:02:02,563
Well, all the more reason.
43
00:02:02,631 --> 00:02:03,697
Why didn't you
give me a little--
44
00:02:03,765 --> 00:02:05,099
Why didn't you help me out?
45
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,868
Because, frankly, most of our
clientele are younger,
46
00:02:07,936 --> 00:02:09,336
and they are serious
about cooking.
47
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:11,939
Our customers come here
to find the best,
48
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,173
not because they
want their egos stroked
49
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:14,642
by a young Asian clerk.
50
00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:16,911
Whoa!
51
00:02:16,978 --> 00:02:18,279
Whoa, wait a minute,
I didn't--
52
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,380
I didn't even--
53
00:02:19,447 --> 00:02:20,581
I didn't know you were--
54
00:02:20,649 --> 00:02:21,749
I didn't even
know you were Asian.
55
00:02:21,816 --> 00:02:22,950
Really?
56
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,685
Yeah, no, I don't--
You might've--
57
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,820
I would have thought maybe
you might be Welsh,
58
00:02:26,888 --> 00:02:28,289
maybe you're Welsh.
59
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,424
Oh. Right.
60
00:02:30,492 --> 00:02:32,493
Welsh.
61
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,962
So you just don't care
about your customers.
62
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,531
That whole customer
is always right approach
63
00:02:37,599 --> 00:02:38,699
is kind of old school.
64
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,532
Oh, is it? Oh okay then.
65
00:02:41,599 --> 00:02:43,867
Then noted. Thank you very much.
66
00:02:43,935 --> 00:02:46,270
In the future, I will take
my business elsewhere.
67
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:47,504
Please do.
68
00:02:47,572 --> 00:02:48,605
Please go to Williams-Sonoma.
69
00:02:48,673 --> 00:02:50,307
They'll be very indulgent.
70
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,210
Wow.
71
00:02:53,278 --> 00:02:55,813
Wow, that's a--
That's a new approach.
72
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,181
So you have nothing to learn
73
00:02:57,248 --> 00:02:58,916
from thousands of years
of human commerce?
74
00:02:58,983 --> 00:03:00,284
Just, nothing.
75
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:02,019
I really hope that
works out for you.
76
00:03:02,087 --> 00:03:04,722
Well, I'm 24 and I own my
own store in Manhattan.
77
00:03:07,092 --> 00:03:08,592
All right then.
78
00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:10,828
All right.
79
00:03:10,895 --> 00:03:13,230
I will alert
my entire generation
80
00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:16,266
that your generation
needs nothing from us.
81
00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:18,068
We will just be on our way.
82
00:03:18,136 --> 00:03:19,837
Well, if you could help
clean up the environment
83
00:03:19,904 --> 00:03:21,438
you ruined on your way out.
84
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:23,140
Oh, is there anything else
we can get for you,
85
00:03:23,208 --> 00:03:24,174
your majesties?
86
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:28,870
Do you always get uncomfortable
around younger people?
87
00:03:32,317 --> 00:03:33,283
Yeah, I don't know.
88
00:03:33,351 --> 00:03:34,251
I don't know why.
89
00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:37,154
I think I maybe know why.
90
00:03:37,222 --> 00:03:38,122
Okay.
91
00:03:38,189 --> 00:03:41,225
Because we're the future.
92
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:42,726
You don't belong in it.
93
00:03:42,794 --> 00:03:46,130
Because we're beyond you
and naturally,
94
00:03:46,197 --> 00:03:48,499
that makes you feel kinda bad.
95
00:03:48,566 --> 00:03:52,336
You have this deep down feeling
that you don't matter anymore.
96
00:03:52,403 --> 00:03:55,639
(tapping on keyboard)
97
00:03:55,707 --> 00:03:58,308
Yeah, that's--
That's--
98
00:03:58,376 --> 00:03:59,977
That's pretty true, yeah.
99
00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:01,125
You should be glad, though.
100
00:04:01,146 --> 00:04:02,546
I mean, do you have kids?
101
00:04:02,614 --> 00:04:05,048
Yeah, two girls.
102
00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:07,451
Do you want your kids' world
to be a step above yours?
103
00:04:07,519 --> 00:04:08,585
Isn't that what we're all doing?
104
00:04:08,653 --> 00:04:10,354
Sure.
105
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:12,422
So, doesn't it follow
106
00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:14,691
that if you're a good parent
107
00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:16,727
and your kids evolve
and are smarter than you,
108
00:04:16,795 --> 00:04:17,995
they're gonna make you
feel kind of dumb?
109
00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:19,997
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
110
00:04:20,064 --> 00:04:22,733
So if you feel
stupid around young people,
111
00:04:22,801 --> 00:04:24,183
things are going good.
112
00:04:25,637 --> 00:04:34,859
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
113
00:04:34,979 --> 00:04:39,750
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
114
00:04:39,818 --> 00:04:44,321
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
115
00:04:44,389 --> 00:04:48,992
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
116
00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,093
Louie, Louie
117
00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:53,530
You're gonna cry
118
00:04:53,598 --> 00:04:57,267
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
119
00:05:05,009 --> 00:05:05,843
(policeman over speaker)
Hey, you.
120
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:07,311
Get outta the street.
121
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:08,312
Hear me?
122
00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:10,480
Move it, now.
123
00:05:10,548 --> 00:05:11,949
Keep walking, pal, keep walking.
124
00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:13,016
You hear me?
125
00:05:13,084 --> 00:05:14,751
Stop looking at me.
126
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:18,856
Hey, excuse me.
127
00:05:18,923 --> 00:05:20,591
You.Bag man.
128
00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:24,094
Can you pull over please?
129
00:05:24,162 --> 00:05:25,529
You.
130
00:05:25,597 --> 00:05:28,398
Let's see someidentification, pal.
131
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,767
I'm talking to you.
132
00:05:30,835 --> 00:05:34,171
(sirens wailing)
133
00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:37,040
Let's see some
identification, please?
134
00:05:37,108 --> 00:05:38,575
What the hell?
What's the problem?
135
00:05:38,643 --> 00:05:42,079
I wasn't doing anything.
What the hell's the problem, you jerkoff?
136
00:05:42,146 --> 00:05:44,348
Lenny. Jesus Christ.
Come here, you jerkoff.
137
00:05:44,415 --> 00:05:46,083
How you doing?
You big piece of shit, how are you?
138
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,751
How are you?
It's good to see you.
139
00:05:47,819 --> 00:05:49,848
I haven't seen you in
a long time, yeah,
140
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,049
ain't seen you
in a really long time.
141
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:53,685
I ain't since your sister
dumped me in the trash
142
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:54,920
like a dead baby,
143
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,156
but I see you're
a big-time comedian now, right?
144
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,591
I saw you on the Jimmy--
What's-his-name show.
145
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,826
You were, uh...
146
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,494
You looked like shit,
but you were half funny.
147
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,396
Thanks, man.
It's good to see you, man,
148
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:05,597
it's nice to-- It's good to--
What are you doing?
149
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,199
You walking away from me
when I'm talking to you?
150
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,268
Hey! Sammy!
(tapping on window)
151
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,236
This guy was almost
my brother-in-law.
152
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,806
How about that shit
for a minute, huh?
153
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,774
Ah, he don't care, he's Chinese.
154
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,509
Yeah, well, it's nice
to see you, man.
155
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:18,844
Yeah, you know,
we should hang out sometime.
156
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,473
Sure, yeah.
What are you doing tomorrow?
157
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,414
You want to go to a Knicks game?
158
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,082
Uh, I don't--
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
159
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,117
Don't say you want to hang out
160
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,084
and not hang out with me, Louie.
161
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,286
Come on.
I'm from back--
162
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:28,287
No, no, no, no, I know.
No, no, no, I know.
163
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,289
I didn't--
I wasn't--
164
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,357
Yeah, but I'm saying, I'm from back
home, remember? I wasn't trying--
165
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,892
Yeah, yeah, no, I know.
I'll take you to the Knicks game,
166
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,427
we'll sit on the floor, you can
spit on the players if you want.
167
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,962
You wanna spit on the players?
168
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,897
I mean... You got a phone number?
Give me your phone number.
169
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,766
You got a phone?
170
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,967
Where's your phone?
171
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,739
What's your code?
This is your phone?
172
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:48,774
Yeah.
173
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,042
What's your code?
174
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,343
6-7-8-9.
175
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,745
6-7-8-9.
176
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:54,713
This is a piece of shit,
all right?
177
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,087
I'm calling my phone.
178
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,722
Alright, now we got
each other's phone numbers.
179
00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:01,659
- Okay. - And we'll stay in touch,
I'll call you, all right?
180
00:07:01,726 --> 00:07:03,627
Tomorrow.
All right, sure.
181
00:07:03,695 --> 00:07:04,728
It's a Knicks game!
Okay, sure.
182
00:07:04,796 --> 00:07:05,996
All right, it's great
to see you, Louie.
183
00:07:06,064 --> 00:07:07,298
Yeah, it's good to see
you too, Lenny.
184
00:07:07,365 --> 00:07:08,799
All right, I'll see you around,
you big piece of shit.
185
00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:09,800
Look at you.
186
00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:10,834
All right, man.
187
00:07:10,902 --> 00:07:12,636
This guy's
a big comedian, Sammy.
188
00:07:12,704 --> 00:07:14,557
He's a big, famous comedian.
189
00:07:16,908 --> 00:07:19,009
Excuse me, sir!
190
00:07:19,077 --> 00:07:20,678
Don't let me see youmolesting kids anymore
191
00:07:20,745 --> 00:07:22,546
or I'm gonna bring you in,you understand me?
192
00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:26,347
- All right. - Don't be offering kids candyin the street, you freak.
193
00:07:32,104 --> 00:07:33,170
Shit.
194
00:07:33,238 --> 00:07:34,672
(knocking)
195
00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:36,140
Ah.
196
00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,471
(harder knocking)
197
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,645
Coming.
198
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:42,013
(pounding on door)
199
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,383
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
200
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:47,084
(Lenny) Open the door, dickhead.
201
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:49,387
It's the cops.
202
00:07:49,454 --> 00:07:50,414
Back away from the door!
203
00:07:50,455 --> 00:07:51,389
Hey!
Jesus Christ!
204
00:07:51,456 --> 00:07:52,656
Back away from the door.
Jesus!
205
00:07:52,658 --> 00:07:54,091
Stop it!
Don't move.
206
00:07:54,159 --> 00:07:55,393
Hey, man, cut that out.
Put your hands in the air.
207
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:56,427
Asshole.
What asshole?
208
00:07:56,495 --> 00:07:58,029
You don't insult
the man with the gun.
209
00:07:58,096 --> 00:08:00,765
(mimics gunshot)
That's not funny, that's not funny, man.
210
00:08:00,832 --> 00:08:02,266
Aw, come on,
take it easy, Louie.
211
00:08:02,334 --> 00:08:03,834
Jesus, man.
How are you?
212
00:08:03,902 --> 00:08:05,670
I'm all right.
Ah.
213
00:08:05,737 --> 00:08:08,205
So, uh... this is where
you live, huh?
214
00:08:08,273 --> 00:08:09,840
Yeah, that's where I live.
215
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:11,509
Yeah.
All right.
216
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:12,677
This is how
a comedian lives, huh?
217
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:13,844
This is--
This is nice.
218
00:08:13,912 --> 00:08:16,380
Thank you.
I was being sarcastic.
219
00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:17,715
Okay.
220
00:08:17,783 --> 00:08:19,583
How much they got you
paying for rent here, huh?
221
00:08:19,651 --> 00:08:20,618
Too much.
222
00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:22,053
Yeah, I bet.
223
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,087
Where do you live?
224
00:08:23,155 --> 00:08:24,789
I live in, uh...
Staten Island.
225
00:08:24,856 --> 00:08:26,524
Way nicer place than this.
226
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,292
Oh, good, good, good.
227
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,293
So you ready to go to the game?
228
00:08:29,361 --> 00:08:30,394
Sure, yeah.
229
00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:31,896
All right.
All right, let's go.
230
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:33,798
Louie, Louie, oh!
Okay.
231
00:08:33,865 --> 00:08:36,434
Okay.
Huh, it's good to see you, huh?
232
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:37,568
All right.
Oh!
233
00:08:37,636 --> 00:08:38,536
Hey.
What?
234
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:41,072
Take a bow.
(laughing)
235
00:08:41,139 --> 00:08:43,974
Jesus.
Ah, ball tap.
236
00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:46,744
- You remember, I used to play
basketball for North, right? - Right.
237
00:08:46,812 --> 00:08:49,246
Your sister used to come to all the games.
Yeah, sure.
238
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:50,247
Pretty good, right?
Yeah-yeah.
239
00:08:50,315 --> 00:08:51,549
Oh, Rex goes up for the shot!
240
00:08:51,616 --> 00:08:53,484
It's good!!!
241
00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:56,487
You don't know, the whole thing
with me is ball handling.
242
00:08:56,555 --> 00:08:57,922
- Right. - You know, you gotta be able
to control the ball,
243
00:08:57,989 --> 00:08:58,989
you know what I mean?
244
00:08:59,057 --> 00:09:01,425
Like, try to steal
e ball from me.
245
00:09:01,493 --> 00:09:02,760
Come on, try to steal it.
246
00:09:02,828 --> 00:09:04,061
No, no, no.
Come on, try to steal it,
247
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,596
you try to steal the ball from me.
All right.
248
00:09:05,664 --> 00:09:07,031
Come on, just try
to steal the ball, Louie.
249
00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:08,365
Try to get it.
Okay. All right.
250
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:10,067
This is my patented moves.
I take it here this way--
251
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,035
Oh!
(Louie grunting)
252
00:09:11,103 --> 00:09:12,036
And it--
253
00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:13,237
Oh!
254
00:09:13,305 --> 00:09:14,371
Yes!
255
00:09:14,439 --> 00:09:16,574
In your face, loser!
256
00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:18,109
You suck, man!
257
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,543
In your face, man!
(chuckling)
258
00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:21,078
That's what I do, man!
259
00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,346
All day.
260
00:09:26,618 --> 00:09:28,919
You know, different situations,
you gotta do different things.
261
00:09:28,987 --> 00:09:30,187
You just sneak it in--
(shouting) Don't you--
262
00:09:30,255 --> 00:09:31,255
Don't move!
263
00:09:31,323 --> 00:09:32,323
Son of a bitch!
264
00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:33,791
Right.
Don't you move!
265
00:09:33,859 --> 00:09:34,859
And that's it.
266
00:09:34,926 --> 00:09:36,694
Usually the guy will just--
He'll just--
267
00:09:36,762 --> 00:09:38,362
He'll give up
and that's the end of it
268
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,764
and most of the time you
don't even have to do that,
269
00:09:39,831 --> 00:09:42,299
but sometimes you get
in their face hard, you know?
270
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:43,801
Hard, fast.
271
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,538
I never give a shit if
they're winning or losing,
272
00:09:47,606 --> 00:09:49,340
we're going to a Knicks game,
273
00:09:49,407 --> 00:09:51,842
world's most famous arena,
it's gonna be cool.
274
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:52,843
Yeah.
275
00:09:52,911 --> 00:09:54,311
How you doing, pal.
276
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,513
Hey, you can't come in here.
277
00:09:55,580 --> 00:09:57,248
It's all right, pal,
I'm on the job.
278
00:09:57,315 --> 00:09:58,382
That don't matter.
279
00:09:58,450 --> 00:09:59,784
You can't come in here.
280
00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,218
Hey, what's your
name-- Smith?
281
00:10:01,286 --> 00:10:02,453
You're from the third, right?
282
00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:04,021
Nah.
283
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:05,289
Look, I come in here
all the time.
284
00:10:05,357 --> 00:10:07,024
Everybody in there knows me.
285
00:10:07,092 --> 00:10:08,926
I don't know you.
286
00:10:08,994 --> 00:10:09,927
Come on, bro, look,
you're embarrassing me
287
00:10:09,995 --> 00:10:10,961
in front of my friend.
288
00:10:11,029 --> 00:10:12,163
We're supposed
to go to the game.
289
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:13,197
Well, that's your fault
290
00:10:13,265 --> 00:10:14,465
for thinking you can
come in this way.
291
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:15,399
You can't come in this way.
292
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:16,567
You gotta take a walk.
293
00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:17,668
It's all right, man,
it doesn't matter.
294
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:18,869
It's okay.
295
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,406
No, It don't matter.
It's all right.
296
00:10:22,474 --> 00:10:24,809
Asshole.
297
00:10:24,876 --> 00:10:25,810
That guy's an asshole anyway.
298
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:27,978
All right.
Let's just go to a bar.
299
00:10:28,046 --> 00:10:29,513
We'll watch the game at a bar.
300
00:10:29,581 --> 00:10:31,715
Yeah, you know, we'll go to
a bar and watch the game there.
301
00:10:31,783 --> 00:10:32,817
That's what real fans
do anyway, right?
302
00:10:32,884 --> 00:10:34,051
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
303
00:10:34,119 --> 00:10:35,619
Dickhead.
304
00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,224
Yeah, no, I was--
305
00:10:40,292 --> 00:10:43,330
I was a mess when your
sister broke up with me.
306
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:46,807
I really never saw you after that.
307
00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:50,555
You know, I always saw us
getting married.
308
00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:52,674
You know?
309
00:10:52,742 --> 00:10:55,110
Having kids.
310
00:10:55,178 --> 00:10:57,980
You know, growing old together.
311
00:10:58,047 --> 00:11:02,050
Instead, I'm growing old
by myself, you know, like you.
312
00:11:02,118 --> 00:11:05,487
- Well-- - The thing like about guys
like you and me, it's like,
313
00:11:05,555 --> 00:11:09,024
we're being selected out,
you know, like--
314
00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:10,225
Like we don't even
matter anymore, like,
315
00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:12,427
they're the ones
with the pussies
316
00:11:12,495 --> 00:11:16,431
so they get to decide who has
a family, who has a girlfriend,
317
00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:18,667
you know, who gets
to suck their little titties.
318
00:11:20,098 --> 00:11:22,838
- Well-- - And the thing that pisses me
off with somebody like you
319
00:11:22,905 --> 00:11:25,540
is just like, you know,
you're below average,
320
00:11:25,608 --> 00:11:27,509
you know, you're smart,
321
00:11:27,577 --> 00:11:30,879
and it's sexy, you're up on
stage, but other than that,
322
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:33,548
you got no kind of face
at all and you're fat,
323
00:11:33,616 --> 00:11:36,618
but me, I've always
been attractive to women.
324
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:41,356
It's just--
325
00:11:41,424 --> 00:11:44,126
I just--
I can't...
326
00:11:44,193 --> 00:11:45,694
I just...
I...
327
00:11:45,762 --> 00:11:48,430
I never--
328
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:50,745
I never find one that--
329
00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:52,651
that I really own.
330
00:11:53,611 --> 00:11:56,414
Just, sometimes it just
makes me feel bad.
331
00:11:56,726 --> 00:11:59,544
You know, like,
sometimes I just--
332
00:11:59,831 --> 00:12:02,393
You know, I feel really bad.
333
00:12:09,377 --> 00:12:11,345
Well, so, uh...
334
00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:13,614
How do you like being a cop?
335
00:12:15,116 --> 00:12:17,384
What?
336
00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:18,686
I'm just--
I'm just wondering,
337
00:12:18,753 --> 00:12:19,787
like, how...
338
00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:21,455
I've been doing this
for 19 years, Louie,
339
00:12:21,489 --> 00:12:23,023
and I'm still a patrolman.
340
00:12:25,193 --> 00:12:27,127
How do you think I like it?
341
00:12:27,195 --> 00:12:29,430
I'm sorry, I didn't--
342
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:31,599
No, just...
343
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:33,400
I'm gonna take a piss.
344
00:12:33,468 --> 00:12:34,468
(sipping)
345
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,836
(pounding) Hey.
346
00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,938
Can I get a refill?
347
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:39,073
I gotta take a piss.
348
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:41,609
Okay.
349
00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:44,478
(sighing)
350
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:51,473
I gotta tell you,
I'm really uh--
351
00:12:51,541 --> 00:12:53,375
I'm really proud of your comedy
thing you got going on.
352
00:12:53,442 --> 00:12:55,243
It's cool.
Oh, thanks, man, thank you.
353
00:12:55,311 --> 00:12:57,779
You know, the thing is,
is that, you're not that funny.
354
00:12:57,847 --> 00:13:00,782
You know, I seen you on a few
things, I never really laugh,
355
00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:02,651
I'm always like,
oh, shit, there's Louie,
356
00:13:02,718 --> 00:13:04,686
but it's not like I really
think it's funny,
357
00:13:04,754 --> 00:13:06,188
and you know, that's not
a criticism, you know?
358
00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:07,289
It's not?
359
00:13:07,356 --> 00:13:08,557
No, you know, the thing is,
360
00:13:08,624 --> 00:13:10,425
you gotta find something
that makes you funny.
361
00:13:10,426 --> 00:13:11,760
You understand?
362
00:13:11,827 --> 00:13:14,462
Like, you know those carnie
games with the clowns
363
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:15,897
and the clown is on
the dunk tank
364
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,866
and he insults people
and people try to
365
00:13:17,934 --> 00:13:19,568
throw the baseballs
and knock him in the tank?
366
00:13:19,635 --> 00:13:20,669
That's what you gotta do.
367
00:13:20,736 --> 00:13:21,803
You gotta do
something like that,
368
00:13:21,871 --> 00:13:23,305
you know what I'm saying,
Mr. Clown?
369
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:24,539
You gotta do some
stuff like that.
370
00:13:24,607 --> 00:13:26,208
You totally knock that shit--
Stop it.
371
00:13:26,275 --> 00:13:27,755
What? What are you talk--
Stop, Lenny.
372
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:28,777
What? What are you
talking about?
373
00:13:28,844 --> 00:13:29,711
I'm just--
Stop it!
374
00:13:29,779 --> 00:13:30,946
Stop!
375
00:13:31,013 --> 00:13:32,514
Come on, have some balls,
I'm just--
376
00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:34,816
I'm just playing around.
377
00:13:34,884 --> 00:13:36,952
(laughing)
378
00:13:37,019 --> 00:13:38,853
You know, Lenny,
I'm gonna go home.
379
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,088
What?
380
00:13:40,156 --> 00:13:41,923
I'm gonna walk--
I'm gonna walk home.
381
00:13:41,991 --> 00:13:43,491
All right, well,
I'm walking with you,
382
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,828
so we'll go together.
You know what? I'd rather you didn't.
383
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:48,563
What are you talking about?
Why are you saying that?
384
00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:50,198
I'll go another block over
and I'll walk that way
385
00:13:50,266 --> 00:13:51,566
and you walk another way,
maybe I'll--
386
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:53,401
Maybe I'll see you another time.
387
00:13:53,469 --> 00:13:54,509
Well, what does that mean?
388
00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:55,777
Maybe I'll see you another time?
389
00:13:55,805 --> 00:13:58,373
Why are you saying that?
You know what it means?
390
00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:00,161
It means maybe I won't
see you another time.
391
00:14:02,678 --> 00:14:04,516
Why are you saying that?
Did I do something--
392
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,314
Jesus Christ, Lenny. It can't be that
big a surprise to you
393
00:14:06,382 --> 00:14:09,400
that somebody's having
a hard time being around you.
394
00:14:10,553 --> 00:14:11,953
Honestly, I can't
believe that that's a--
395
00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:14,856
Is that really a big surprise?
396
00:14:14,924 --> 00:14:17,292
I mean, I'm sorry,
but you insulted me
397
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,227
about 30 times tonight.
398
00:14:19,295 --> 00:14:22,564
You don't give a shit
about what I have to say.
399
00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:24,366
Do you ask about me,
about myself?
400
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,767
Do you know that I'm a dad?
I'm divorced?
401
00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:28,136
Do you know that
I have two daughters?
402
00:14:28,204 --> 00:14:29,537
Do you care?
I don't think you do.
403
00:14:29,605 --> 00:14:30,605
And that's fine, that's--
404
00:14:30,673 --> 00:14:32,040
That's who you are.
405
00:14:32,108 --> 00:14:34,376
But you're hitting me
and you're physically hurting me
406
00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:35,677
and that's where I have to
draw the line.
407
00:14:35,745 --> 00:14:38,179
I can't let myself be around
somebody who's physically
408
00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:39,614
hurting me every two minutes.
409
00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:40,882
No, though, I didn't hurt you.
410
00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:42,550
You did.
I'm feeling pain right now.
411
00:14:42,618 --> 00:14:43,618
Oh, no, no, no, no.
412
00:14:43,686 --> 00:14:45,053
Lenny--
I barely even touched you.
413
00:14:45,121 --> 00:14:48,623
I'm telling you that it hurt
and you don't get to deny that.
414
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:49,824
When a person tells you
that you hurt them,
415
00:14:49,892 --> 00:14:51,226
you don't get
to decide that you didn't.
416
00:14:51,294 --> 00:14:52,294
Hurt you?
417
00:14:52,361 --> 00:14:53,762
What about you hurting me?
418
00:14:53,829 --> 00:14:55,497
Huh, what about you hurting me?
419
00:14:55,564 --> 00:14:56,398
How did I hurt you?
420
00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:58,546
By what you're saying,
it's hurting me right now.
421
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,935
How do you think
that makes me feel?
422
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:03,371
How do you think it makes me
feel for you to say that to me?
423
00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:04,706
How do you think it makes
me feel for you to say,
424
00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:06,174
you're no good, Lenny.
425
00:15:06,242 --> 00:15:07,976
You're a piece of garbage
and I hope you die, Lenny.
426
00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:09,044
I didn't say any of that.
427
00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:10,345
Yes, you did!
428
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:14,149
Look, I know that
I'm hard to be around.
429
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:16,117
Okay?
430
00:15:16,185 --> 00:15:18,295
So it is no surprise.
431
00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:23,892
You know how many friends
I have at my job?
432
00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:25,960
None.
433
00:15:26,028 --> 00:15:26,995
More like negative 50,
434
00:15:27,063 --> 00:15:28,229
I've been there 19 years
435
00:15:28,297 --> 00:15:30,231
and I try to be friends
with my partners,
436
00:15:30,299 --> 00:15:31,866
and you know,
they always wind up
437
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:33,168
going to someone else.
438
00:15:33,235 --> 00:15:35,804
And your sister,
she hates me too, okay?
439
00:15:35,871 --> 00:15:38,506
I tried to be friends with her
on Facebook, just to say hello,
440
00:15:38,574 --> 00:15:40,608
and she won't even take
my friend request.
441
00:15:40,676 --> 00:15:42,143
How do you think
that makes me feel?
442
00:15:42,211 --> 00:15:44,012
Huh?
443
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:44,946
And I have no one
else in the world,
444
00:15:45,014 --> 00:15:46,147
now I gotta find out that
445
00:15:46,215 --> 00:15:47,148
you hate me, too?
446
00:15:47,216 --> 00:15:48,316
I'm not...
saying that.
447
00:15:48,384 --> 00:15:49,918
You know what sometimes
I think about?
448
00:15:49,985 --> 00:15:51,319
I think about taking this,
449
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:52,587
I think about sticking it
in my mouth
450
00:15:52,655 --> 00:15:53,555
and blowing my brains out.
451
00:15:53,622 --> 00:15:55,523
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
452
00:15:56,926 --> 00:15:59,286
Where the hell's my gun?
Where's your gun?
453
00:16:01,430 --> 00:16:03,365
Louie.
What happened to your gun, man?
454
00:16:05,901 --> 00:16:07,202
Did I lose my gun?
455
00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:08,336
I don't know, where is it?
456
00:16:08,404 --> 00:16:10,605
Louie.
457
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:11,840
Louie.
458
00:16:11,907 --> 00:16:13,007
I don't know where it is.
459
00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:14,509
Louie, I can't lose my gun.
460
00:16:14,577 --> 00:16:15,577
Louie, do you understand?
461
00:16:15,578 --> 00:16:16,745
I can't--
462
00:16:16,812 --> 00:16:18,580
It's-- It's okay, we'll--
No, no, no!
463
00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:19,748
No, no, do you understand
what will happen to me
464
00:16:19,815 --> 00:16:20,882
if I lose my gun?
465
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,217
Oh, my...
466
00:16:22,284 --> 00:16:23,852
Did I drop--
467
00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:24,986
Louie!
Lenny.
468
00:16:25,054 --> 00:16:26,187
Louie, Louie, Louie.
469
00:16:26,255 --> 00:16:27,222
Do you understand?
470
00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:29,157
I can't lose my gun.
Okay, okay, okay.
471
00:16:29,225 --> 00:16:30,258
We'll go to the bar,
we'll go look for it.
472
00:16:30,326 --> 00:16:31,326
Maybe you lost it at the bar.
473
00:16:31,394 --> 00:16:32,627
Maybe you lost it at the bar.
474
00:16:32,695 --> 00:16:34,229
Oh, my God.
That's the only place we were at.
475
00:16:34,296 --> 00:16:36,197
Oh, my God!
476
00:16:36,265 --> 00:16:37,932
Come on, let's go back--
Louie!
477
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,901
Oh, my God!
478
00:16:39,969 --> 00:16:42,170
Oh, my God!
479
00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:43,271
Louie!
480
00:16:43,339 --> 00:16:46,274
(crowd chatter, laughter)
481
00:16:50,112 --> 00:16:51,346
Excuse me.
482
00:16:51,414 --> 00:16:52,414
Excuse me.
483
00:16:52,481 --> 00:16:53,381
(man) Hey!
484
00:16:53,449 --> 00:16:55,150
Louie!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
485
00:16:55,217 --> 00:16:56,384
We're looking for--
Sorry, we're looking--
486
00:16:56,452 --> 00:16:57,385
(Lenny) No, no, no,
don't ask him that.
487
00:16:57,453 --> 00:16:59,287
Don't ask him that.
Why not?
488
00:16:59,355 --> 00:17:01,489
Because, just don't ask him!
Let me ask him.
489
00:17:01,557 --> 00:17:02,524
Sir?
490
00:17:02,591 --> 00:17:03,525
Did you--
I'm sorry.
491
00:17:03,592 --> 00:17:04,592
Did you find something here?
492
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:05,593
No, what are you looking for?
493
00:17:05,661 --> 00:17:06,561
(Lenny)
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
494
00:17:06,629 --> 00:17:07,762
Louie.
495
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:09,097
What are you supposed to do?
496
00:17:09,165 --> 00:17:10,432
Nothing!
What's the procedure?
497
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:11,866
Nothing, you don't do anything.
498
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:13,768
It's in your apartment.
499
00:17:13,836 --> 00:17:14,869
I was playing with it
at your apartment,
500
00:17:14,937 --> 00:17:16,438
let's go back to your apartment.
501
00:17:21,177 --> 00:17:23,178
Come on, come on...
502
00:17:23,245 --> 00:17:25,814
It's got to be in here.
503
00:17:25,881 --> 00:17:27,048
What rooms were we in?
504
00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:28,149
Where were you?
505
00:17:28,217 --> 00:17:29,184
I don't know.
506
00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:30,285
I don't know.
507
00:17:30,352 --> 00:17:31,820
Where is it?
Huh?
508
00:17:31,887 --> 00:17:32,954
(loud thud)
509
00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:34,689
Okay, Lenny, calm down.
No.
510
00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:35,890
We're gonna find--
We'll find it.
511
00:17:35,958 --> 00:17:36,891
Louie, do you understand
what would happen
512
00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:38,560
if I lose my weapon?
513
00:17:38,627 --> 00:17:42,163
I put a gun on the street
and I lose my weapon.
514
00:17:42,231 --> 00:17:43,965
You can't lose your weapon!
515
00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:44,999
I gotta find it!
516
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:46,401
Okay.
517
00:17:46,469 --> 00:17:47,802
I gotta find it.
518
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,003
I can't do that.
It's all right, man, it's all right.
519
00:17:49,071 --> 00:17:50,071
No, where is it, Louie?
520
00:17:50,139 --> 00:17:51,039
We'll find it.
521
00:17:51,106 --> 00:17:52,307
Where is it, Louie?
522
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:53,641
It's okay, Lenny, calm down.
523
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:54,609
Where is it?
524
00:17:54,677 --> 00:17:55,643
I don't know, Lenny.
525
00:17:55,711 --> 00:17:56,644
It's not here, Louie!
526
00:17:56,712 --> 00:17:57,612
Where is it?
527
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:58,847
I don't know!
528
00:17:58,914 --> 00:18:00,381
(screaming)
529
00:18:00,449 --> 00:18:01,382
No!
530
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,584
Where is it?
531
00:18:02,651 --> 00:18:04,619
We didn't even come in--
Louie, where is it?
532
00:18:04,687 --> 00:18:06,221
Where is it?
(objects rattling)
533
00:18:06,288 --> 00:18:08,022
God, where is it?
534
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:09,390
Louie!
535
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,013
You're stupid!
536
00:18:14,081 --> 00:18:16,149
You're stupid!
537
00:18:17,684 --> 00:18:19,652
Louie, I'm dead!
538
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,222
(crying) Oh, no!
539
00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:24,857
No!
540
00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:26,826
(crying)
541
00:18:26,894 --> 00:18:28,294
Jesus Christ.
542
00:18:28,362 --> 00:18:30,830
You can't lose
your weapon, no, sir.
543
00:18:30,898 --> 00:18:32,265
No, sir.
544
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,299
Lenny, just wait here, okay?
545
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,467
(shouting) No!
546
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:35,927
Just wait here!
(crying) No!
547
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:40,039
Don't move, I'll be right back.
No, no, no.
548
00:18:40,107 --> 00:18:42,975
549
00:18:46,046 --> 00:18:48,214
(brakes squealing)
550
00:18:49,883 --> 00:18:52,018
(crowd chatter)
551
00:18:54,354 --> 00:18:55,388
(bottles clanking)
552
00:18:55,455 --> 00:18:56,556
Excuse me.
553
00:18:56,623 --> 00:18:57,690
Did anybody--
554
00:18:57,758 --> 00:18:59,559
Sorry, did anybody find
anything here today,
555
00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:00,593
like, anything lost?
556
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:01,727
Like what?
557
00:19:01,795 --> 00:19:03,095
Hey...
Like, anything--
558
00:19:03,163 --> 00:19:04,883
Anything unusual, anything--
Get outta here.
559
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,215
Oh, shit.
560
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,124
(man) My Knicks are number
one, my Knicks are number one,
561
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,427
my Knicks are number one,
my Knicks are number one,
562
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,796
my Knicks are number one,
my Knicks are number one,
563
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,232
my Knicks are number one...
564
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,476
Oh, shit.
565
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:13,878
Oh, shit.
566
00:20:13,945 --> 00:20:15,312
Goddamn.
567
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,382
(gun rattling on sidewalk)
568
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:19,410
I can't believe that guy.
569
00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,252
(men laughing)
570
00:20:21,319 --> 00:20:22,253
Unbelievable.
571
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,387
Crazy, huh?
572
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:26,023
I'm starving,
let's get out of here.
573
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:28,792
(man) Oh, man. Oh, boy.
574
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:29,927
Woo.
575
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,033
(doors closing)
576
00:20:40,972 --> 00:20:43,374
(Louie sighing)
577
00:20:43,441 --> 00:20:45,376
(gun scraping)
578
00:20:58,089 --> 00:20:59,857
I'm in so much trouble, Louie.
579
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,858
Lenny.
580
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,726
(keys jingling)
581
00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:06,730
(Louie breathing heavy)
582
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,867
(gun rattling)
583
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,807
Louie.
584
00:21:21,846 --> 00:21:23,948
Jesus.
(Lenny grunting)
585
00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:26,917
(Lenny sobbing)
586
00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:32,957
I gotcha.
I gotcha.
587
00:21:33,024 --> 00:21:36,694
Okay. (sighing)
588
00:21:36,761 --> 00:21:38,028
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
589
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:39,363
(sobbing continues)
590
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:42,066
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
591
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:45,269
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh...
592
00:21:47,386 --> 00:21:49,487
So just watch, okay?
593
00:21:49,555 --> 00:21:50,722
All right.
594
00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:52,223
You dig in back there.
595
00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:53,691
Yeah.
596
00:21:53,759 --> 00:21:55,894
Okay, and then while
it's still here,
597
00:21:55,961 --> 00:21:57,095
you do this thing.
598
00:21:57,163 --> 00:21:58,163
You got that?
599
00:21:58,230 --> 00:21:59,664
Okay.
All right.
600
00:21:59,732 --> 00:22:01,132
All right, and then--
601
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,435
And then you dig in
there in the front
602
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:05,877
and you pull it off...
Oh shit.
603
00:22:06,931 --> 00:22:08,928
Did I do that?
604
00:22:09,048 --> 00:22:11,304
No, no, no, well you did it before,
but not just now.
605
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:13,297
It's alright, man.
606
00:22:20,124 --> 00:22:21,079
Alright, man.
607
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:31,690
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
608
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:36,290
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41790
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