Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:32,238 --> 00:00:33,238
Daddy.
2
00:00:33,351 --> 00:00:34,134
Yeah?
3
00:00:34,254 --> 00:00:36,041
Why are you jogging?
4
00:00:36,154 --> 00:00:38,344
Because I gotta lose 40 pounds.
5
00:00:38,457 --> 00:00:39,627
40 pounds?
Yeah.
6
00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:40,781
Why?
7
00:00:40,894 --> 00:00:44,718
Well, if I want to get
this show, I need to--
8
00:00:44,831 --> 00:00:46,087
I gotta change.
9
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,090
They want a skinnier person.
10
00:00:48,203 --> 00:00:50,359
Daddy, but you're not skinnier.
11
00:00:50,472 --> 00:00:52,128
Daddy, you're fat, Daddy.
12
00:00:52,241 --> 00:00:53,563
Jane...
13
00:00:53,676 --> 00:00:55,533
It's all right, it's true,
I'm a big guy.
14
00:00:55,646 --> 00:00:57,602
You're not a big guy, you're fat.
15
00:00:57,715 --> 00:00:59,537
All right, I got it.
16
00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:00,772
Daddy.
Yeah?
17
00:01:00,885 --> 00:01:01,974
If they want a skinny person,
18
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:03,876
why don't they just get
someone skinny?
19
00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:06,713
Why do you have to change?
20
00:01:06,826 --> 00:01:09,916
Daddy, I don't want you to change.
21
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,167
It's not really about
skinny or fat, it's just--
22
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,822
You know, if you want to get a
big thing in life, you--
23
00:01:14,935 --> 00:01:17,292
you gotta make a big
effort, you gotta try hard,
24
00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:20,963
you gotta do things
you're not used to doing.
25
00:01:21,076 --> 00:01:23,366
I mean, also I gotta get
in shape because this job--
26
00:01:23,479 --> 00:01:25,167
If I get this job, this is
gonna be hard.
27
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,136
This is gonna be
the hardest thing I ever did.
28
00:01:27,249 --> 00:01:30,339
I'm gonna be doing five
shows a week every week.
29
00:01:30,452 --> 00:01:31,907
Getting up early in the morning,
30
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,843
every single Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
31
00:01:33,956 --> 00:01:36,012
doing shows, rehearsing and writing.
32
00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,380
It's gonna be a grind.
33
00:01:37,493 --> 00:01:39,027
But when will you see us?
34
00:01:42,766 --> 00:01:44,667
I'll see you on weekends.
35
00:01:49,772 --> 00:01:52,623
You know, girls, I may not
get this job.
36
00:01:52,736 --> 00:01:54,904
Yeah, but you want this job, right?
37
00:02:02,278 --> 00:02:03,345
Yeah.
38
00:02:04,612 --> 00:02:05,644
Yeah.
39
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:08,643
Well, all right.
40
00:02:11,112 --> 00:02:12,577
Yes.
41
00:02:14,108 --> 00:02:15,207
No.
42
00:02:22,538 --> 00:02:23,804
Yes.
43
00:02:25,303 --> 00:02:26,669
All right.
44
00:02:28,403 --> 00:02:29,903
No!
45
00:02:36,803 --> 00:02:39,392
So you want to take over
for Letterman?
46
00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:42,205
You want to host "Late Show" on CBS?
47
00:02:45,574 --> 00:02:47,496
Yeah, that's...
48
00:02:47,609 --> 00:02:50,132
Here's the thing with that, champ.
49
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,266
That's short for "champion."
50
00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:53,901
If you want to be a talk show host,
51
00:02:54,014 --> 00:02:56,503
it's better if you're funny.
52
00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:59,840
Now, there have been some
guys who were not funny.
53
00:02:59,953 --> 00:03:01,641
Tom Snyder.
54
00:03:01,754 --> 00:03:03,410
David Susskind.
55
00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:06,846
Ted Koppel.
56
00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:09,949
But funny is better.
57
00:03:10,062 --> 00:03:13,265
Now, have you ever had any
experience with being funny?
58
00:03:15,869 --> 00:03:19,927
Yeah, I'm a...
I'm a comedian.
59
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,763
You're a comedian?
60
00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:26,333
I've known you for a week and
you haven't made me laugh once.
61
00:03:26,446 --> 00:03:28,135
I had no idea you were a comedian.
62
00:03:28,248 --> 00:03:30,804
I thought you were a newsman.
63
00:03:30,917 --> 00:03:33,574
No, I'm not a newsman,
I'm a-- I'm a comedian.
64
00:03:33,687 --> 00:03:35,709
Jesus.
65
00:03:35,822 --> 00:03:38,412
Well, all right, let's see it.
66
00:03:38,525 --> 00:03:39,880
See what?
67
00:03:39,993 --> 00:03:41,715
See the funny, make me laugh.
68
00:03:41,828 --> 00:03:43,383
Go.
69
00:03:43,496 --> 00:03:44,818
Go?
70
00:03:44,931 --> 00:03:46,820
Go... funny.
71
00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:48,989
Three, two, one...
and go!
72
00:03:49,102 --> 00:03:51,358
I'm not that kind of funny.
73
00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:52,893
What kind of funny?
74
00:03:53,006 --> 00:03:55,529
The kind where you jut say
"go" and I'm funny.
75
00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:57,664
All right, I think you'd
better leave my office.
76
00:03:57,777 --> 00:03:59,733
Jack-- Mr. Dahl, I--
77
00:03:59,846 --> 00:04:01,935
Look, there's different
kinds of funny, right?
78
00:04:02,048 --> 00:04:04,504
There's different kinds of performers.
79
00:04:04,617 --> 00:04:06,206
I'm not that kind of performer.
80
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:08,442
Let me tell me what kind
of what you are.
81
00:04:08,555 --> 00:04:11,378
You're whatever you have
to be to make people laugh.
82
00:04:11,491 --> 00:04:14,248
Anytime, anywhere, anyone.
83
00:04:14,361 --> 00:04:16,517
You turn it on a dime.
84
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:19,587
You get that belly moving, son,
or you're out.
85
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,622
Now tell the truth.
86
00:04:21,735 --> 00:04:24,625
You're just scared, like a rookie.
87
00:04:24,738 --> 00:04:26,727
You're like some kid at a talent show
88
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,908
with a number pinned to your shirt.
89
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,901
You got nothing
or you would have shown me now.
90
00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:36,870
So get out.
91
00:04:36,983 --> 00:04:39,672
Thank you, have a nice day.
92
00:04:39,785 --> 00:04:41,052
Fine.
93
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:51,350
Look, I-- I-- I can't give
up on this.
94
00:04:51,463 --> 00:04:54,420
I don't, uh...
95
00:04:54,533 --> 00:04:56,789
This is either a door or a wall for me
96
00:04:56,902 --> 00:04:58,391
and it's either
the beginning or the end.
97
00:04:58,504 --> 00:05:01,327
I don't-- Please.
98
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,696
Okay then...
let's see the funny.
99
00:05:03,809 --> 00:05:05,798
Three, two, one, go!
100
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,078
Funny!
101
00:05:12,652 --> 00:05:14,140
This is it, bud.
102
00:05:14,253 --> 00:05:15,675
You want me to start at one and go up?
103
00:05:15,788 --> 00:05:17,722
One, two, three, funny.
104
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,317
Okay, last chance and then
we're really done.
105
00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:26,486
Done and done.
106
00:05:26,599 --> 00:05:28,222
Let's go, kid, you want the big gig?
107
00:05:28,335 --> 00:05:30,024
Let's see it.
108
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:32,659
Make me laugh at the count of three.
109
00:05:32,772 --> 00:05:34,394
One...
110
00:05:34,507 --> 00:05:36,497
Two...
111
00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:39,066
You know what your problem is?
112
00:05:39,179 --> 00:05:40,834
You're--
113
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:44,671
You're just a pencil...
114
00:05:44,784 --> 00:05:46,841
penis...
115
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:49,893
parade.
116
00:05:52,263 --> 00:05:53,697
Ooh, I'm--
117
00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:56,433
Nyah!
118
00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:07,002
You just bought yourself another week.
119
00:06:07,115 --> 00:06:08,449
Go home and get some rest.
120
00:06:18,704 --> 00:06:20,674
Please leave this room.
121
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,496
Sit down.
122
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:43,002
No, genius, sit in the host's chair,
for crying in a cup.
123
00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,610
Okay, interviews.
124
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,003
We-- What?
125
00:06:57,123 --> 00:06:58,850
Conduct an interview!
126
00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:03,575
There's nobody here.
127
00:07:03,688 --> 00:07:06,211
Well, go get someone.
128
00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:07,658
What?
129
00:07:09,627 --> 00:07:11,194
Just a sec.
130
00:07:13,364 --> 00:07:15,332
Jesus Christ.
131
00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:18,924
This is Elaine.
132
00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:21,226
She cleans here.
133
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:23,395
Have a seat, Elaine.
134
00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:24,842
Please.
135
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,207
Okay.
136
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,687
Interviews.
137
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,347
Hello.
138
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,715
"Hello"?
139
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,183
You just introduced her!
140
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,553
You played a song, you
kissed her, she sat down!
141
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,533
"Hello..." what is that?
142
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,925
Uh... how are you?
143
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,627
How is she?
144
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,863
Find out, ask a question.
145
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,398
I can't--
Ask!
146
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,734
If you would stop yelling
at me, maybe I'd do it right.
147
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,669
If you did it right, I
wouldn't have to yell at you.
148
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,204
Interview.
149
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,751
Go!
150
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,846
Tell me about your parents.
151
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:16,651
Oh, well, my mother was
actually dancer.
152
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,152
Really?
153
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,953
What kind of dancer was she?
154
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,356
She was in the ballet.
155
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,090
Really?
156
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:27,160
Did she dance around the house a lot?
157
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,962
I don't know.
158
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,265
I don't remember much.
159
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:38,049
She died when I was eight.
160
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,580
Oh, this is terrific, just wonderful.
161
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,282
Tune in every night, folks!
162
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,895
It's the crying cleaning lady show.
163
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,047
Okay.
164
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,183
Good evening, okay, hi!
165
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,696
Shit.
166
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,129
Good evening.
167
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,297
Asshole!
168
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,065
Shit, cock.
169
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,835
Dick, dick, ass, shit.
170
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,582
Tits.
171
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,741
Okay.
172
00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,088
Okay...
173
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:55,494
Funny in three, two--
174
00:10:03,201 --> 00:10:05,157
Hey.
Daddy.
175
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,326
What's up, everybody?
176
00:10:07,439 --> 00:10:09,528
They insisted I bring them over here.
177
00:10:09,641 --> 00:10:13,366
They just wanted to wish you
luck for your big day tomorrow.
178
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:15,301
Thanks.
179
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:16,414
Daddy, we made you a card.
180
00:10:23,555 --> 00:10:26,611
Daddy, we just wanted to
wish you luck for tomorrow.
181
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,559
We know you can do it.
182
00:11:37,381 --> 00:11:39,149
Hey, Jack.
183
00:11:49,392 --> 00:11:51,982
Here you go, buster, I had
this made for you.
184
00:11:52,095 --> 00:11:53,829
It's beautiful, Jack...
thank you.
185
00:11:57,067 --> 00:12:00,358
Well, I did my part.
186
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,505
This will be the last time
we see each other.
187
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,364
If you get the show, they'll
bring in some young producer.
188
00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:08,800
If you don't, well then,
that'll be that.
189
00:12:08,913 --> 00:12:10,768
In any case, I told you what I know
190
00:12:10,881 --> 00:12:13,338
and the rest is up to you.
191
00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:15,273
It's just...
192
00:12:15,386 --> 00:12:16,908
if you can do it.
193
00:12:17,021 --> 00:12:18,443
That's it.
194
00:12:18,556 --> 00:12:19,777
Listen.
195
00:12:19,890 --> 00:12:21,379
You're a good guy.
196
00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:22,847
I'm not gonna
say I think you can do it
197
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,016
'cause I really have no idea,
198
00:12:25,129 --> 00:12:27,130
but I hope you do.
199
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:31,089
And now I'm gonna tell you
what I know to be
200
00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:34,993
the three rules of show business.
201
00:12:35,106 --> 00:12:39,865
Number one, look 'em in the eye
and speak from the heart.
202
00:12:39,978 --> 00:12:44,637
Number two, you
gotta go away to come back.
203
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:48,041
And number three, if someone
asks you to keep a secret,
204
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:50,177
their secret is a lie.
205
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:51,811
You got that?
206
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:53,346
Yeah.
207
00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:54,948
Uh, thank-- thank you, Jack.
208
00:12:55,061 --> 00:12:56,294
Thanks for everything, really.
209
00:13:00,299 --> 00:13:01,800
Good luck.
210
00:13:19,953 --> 00:13:21,342
How you doing?
211
00:13:21,455 --> 00:13:23,544
Jerry, hi...
How are you?
212
00:13:23,657 --> 00:13:24,745
Good, good.
213
00:13:24,858 --> 00:13:26,213
You nervous?
214
00:13:26,326 --> 00:13:28,315
Uh, no, you know.
215
00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:31,117
Ahh, you'll be fine, you'll be fine.
216
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,153
I--
217
00:13:33,266 --> 00:13:35,955
I didn't know that they--
that you knew I was--
218
00:13:36,068 --> 00:13:40,259
Look, Louie, there's
something you need to know.
219
00:13:40,372 --> 00:13:41,860
Okay.
220
00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:44,496
They're giving me
"Late Show."
221
00:13:44,609 --> 00:13:46,164
I signed the contract this morning.
222
00:13:46,277 --> 00:13:48,333
It's a done deal.
223
00:13:48,446 --> 00:13:50,347
They're printing
the t-shirts.
224
00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:54,373
I heard they weren't telling you
225
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:55,874
and they were still making you do this
226
00:13:55,987 --> 00:13:58,489
and it just seemed unfair.
227
00:14:00,225 --> 00:14:01,781
Wow.
228
00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:03,295
Yeah.
229
00:14:06,832 --> 00:14:09,222
Well, congrats.
230
00:14:09,335 --> 00:14:11,558
Thank you, thank you.
231
00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:15,162
I mean, I want you to come
on the show anytime you want.
232
00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:17,564
Thanks.
233
00:14:17,677 --> 00:14:19,779
That's it.
234
00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,036
Um, thanks for--
235
00:14:23,149 --> 00:14:24,938
Okay, Louie.
236
00:14:25,051 --> 00:14:26,774
You will be fine.
237
00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:29,522
Thanks, man.
I will see you soon.
238
00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:35,049
Hey, um, nobody knows about this yet,
239
00:14:35,162 --> 00:14:37,084
so if you
wouldn't mind, do me a favor.
240
00:14:37,197 --> 00:14:38,497
Keep it a secret.
241
00:14:41,368 --> 00:14:43,490
Sure.
Thank you.
242
00:14:43,603 --> 00:14:45,037
Thank you.
243
00:14:47,274 --> 00:14:50,498
"If somebody asks you to
keep a secret..."
244
00:14:50,611 --> 00:14:53,468
"That secret is a lie."
245
00:14:53,581 --> 00:14:56,016
It's a lie.
246
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,991
Goddammit.
247
00:15:06,393 --> 00:15:07,815
Welcome to
the "Late Show."
248
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:09,183
Let's get right to it.
249
00:15:09,296 --> 00:15:11,797
Here's your host,
Louis C.K.!
250
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:26,100
Thank you very much.
251
00:15:26,213 --> 00:15:28,803
Obama said the economy will
improve in the next four years.
252
00:15:28,916 --> 00:15:31,673
He also said he promises
to kill bin Laden
253
00:15:31,786 --> 00:15:33,320
a couple more times.
254
00:15:35,257 --> 00:15:37,012
You know, jokes-- It's a really
unique thing
255
00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:38,714
to be reading jokes off cards,
256
00:15:38,827 --> 00:15:41,150
'cause you just see your
death in front of you.
257
00:15:41,263 --> 00:15:42,898
You can see-
258
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:47,736
Uh, Polly want to not get
eaten by a dog?
259
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,708
All right.
260
00:15:57,947 --> 00:15:59,502
I don't know.
261
00:15:59,615 --> 00:16:01,516
I'm not saying nothing
about that... just--
262
00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,777
Well, the first time I ever saw you,
263
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:10,412
I guess I was about 11 years old
264
00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:12,081
and I saw"Rocky Horror Picture Show."
265
00:16:12,194 --> 00:16:13,674
You were in that movie a lot.
266
00:16:13,787 --> 00:16:14,787
I was, yeah.
267
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,561
And you were in yourunderwear for part of it.
268
00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:17,442
Yeah.
269
00:16:17,562 --> 00:16:20,689
And I had never seen alady in her underwear
270
00:16:20,802 --> 00:16:22,257
in a movie before.
271
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:23,392
Was it scarring?
272
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:24,960
No, what it was --
273
00:16:25,073 --> 00:16:26,873
What it did was, I went home...
274
00:16:28,876 --> 00:16:32,433
... to my friend's house.
275
00:16:32,546 --> 00:16:34,135
Oh, boy.And I--
276
00:16:34,248 --> 00:16:37,705
Yeah, and I had myselfa little time by myself.
277
00:16:37,818 --> 00:16:39,607
And I had never done that before.
278
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,109
So you--
279
00:16:41,222 --> 00:16:42,944
That was the first time?
280
00:16:43,057 --> 00:16:45,013
Yeah, that's true, you'rethe first person who I ever--
281
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:47,082
Oh my God, that's thesweetest story I ever heard.
282
00:16:47,195 --> 00:16:48,583
That's so sweet...Thank you.
283
00:16:48,696 --> 00:16:50,964
Yeah, thank you.Oh, you're welcome.
284
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,655
Jack is my son and Darby
is my daughter.
285
00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:56,391
Darby?
Yeah.
286
00:16:56,504 --> 00:16:57,992
What is that all about?
287
00:16:58,105 --> 00:16:59,794
Um, well, yeah.
288
00:16:59,907 --> 00:17:01,329
What'd you go and do that for?
289
00:17:01,442 --> 00:17:02,763
I know.
290
00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:05,332
My wife said, "I want to
name my daughter 'Darby.'"
291
00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:08,402
And she said, "I loved
the name ever since I saw
292
00:17:08,515 --> 00:17:12,606
"'The Pelican Brief' with
Julia Roberts."
293
00:17:12,719 --> 00:17:15,543
Are you serious?
I swear to God.
294
00:17:15,656 --> 00:17:17,045
What I wished was the truth,
295
00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:19,247
and I don't think it is,
296
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,884
is that there's no one
named Darby in that movie.
297
00:17:22,997 --> 00:17:24,297
And that you just--
298
00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:33,395
Jackie, I'm watching the feed.
299
00:17:33,508 --> 00:17:34,863
Good work.
300
00:17:34,976 --> 00:17:36,799
It's exactly what we need.
301
00:17:36,912 --> 00:17:38,413
Perfect.
302
00:17:39,548 --> 00:17:41,583
I got an option.
303
00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:46,308
Here's to the new king of late night.
304
00:17:46,421 --> 00:17:47,810
Oh, thank you.
305
00:17:47,923 --> 00:17:49,523
Former king of his own
mother's.
306
00:17:50,491 --> 00:17:51,724
I gotta say, you stepped up.
307
00:17:51,844 --> 00:17:53,715
Great job.
Thanks, man.
308
00:17:53,828 --> 00:17:55,116
I don't know if it--
309
00:17:55,229 --> 00:17:56,618
You know, it's not official,
but I feel pretty good.
310
00:17:56,731 --> 00:17:58,164
I mean...
311
00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:01,501
Doug.
312
00:18:02,508 --> 00:18:04,559
Hey, turn up that TV,
that's about my buddy.
313
00:18:04,672 --> 00:18:06,665
- Hold on a second.
- Shut up, everybody.
314
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:09,264
Official word just coming infrom CBS that David Letterman
315
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:12,033
has signed on for another ten years.
316
00:18:12,146 --> 00:18:14,503
His contract negotiations wentto the last minute we hear,
317
00:18:14,616 --> 00:18:16,171
but it is official.
318
00:18:16,284 --> 00:18:18,586
David Letterman will remainas the host of "The Late Show."
319
00:18:24,326 --> 00:18:25,481
They used you to get his price down
320
00:18:25,594 --> 00:18:27,549
from 60 to 40 million.
321
00:18:27,662 --> 00:18:30,585
They used you.
322
00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:32,154
There's one other thing.
323
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:34,523
The Letterman people called.
324
00:18:34,636 --> 00:18:36,592
They said...
325
00:18:36,705 --> 00:18:38,994
You're dead.
326
00:18:39,107 --> 00:18:41,030
Letterman said
you'll never be on the show.
327
00:18:41,143 --> 00:18:42,810
Never.
328
00:18:44,613 --> 00:18:46,001
Okay.
329
00:18:46,114 --> 00:18:47,970
Lou... look at it
this way.
330
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:51,941
You took $20 million
out of that asshole's pocket.
331
00:18:52,054 --> 00:18:54,610
That's how good you were.
332
00:18:54,723 --> 00:18:56,112
Thanks, man.
333
00:18:56,225 --> 00:18:58,081
I'm sorry.
Bad deal, man.
334
00:18:58,194 --> 00:18:59,916
I'm sorry.
335
00:19:00,029 --> 00:19:02,451
It's official, you suck, man.
336
00:19:02,564 --> 00:19:04,020
He does, too.
337
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:05,221
I'm just kidding.
338
00:19:05,334 --> 00:19:06,334
I'm not.
339
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,266
I did it!
340
00:19:38,602 --> 00:19:40,236
I did it!
341
00:19:42,105 --> 00:19:43,827
I did it!
342
00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:46,363
Hey, Letterman!
343
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:48,343
Hey, Letterman, I did it!
344
00:19:49,612 --> 00:19:50,912
Yo, Letterman!
345
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,800
Letterman!
346
00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:56,231
Fuck you!
347
00:19:56,281 --> 00:20:00,831
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
22941
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof