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1
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( wind whistling )
2
00:00:32,982 --> 00:00:35,217
( wind whistling )
3
00:01:20,768 --> 00:01:21,968
Thank you.
4
00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:29,208
Life seems lonely
5
00:01:29,276 --> 00:01:31,842
And I'm by myself again
6
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,344
There's no use
7
00:01:38,412 --> 00:01:40,286
In trying topretend...
8
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May I join you?
9
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Of course, please.
10
00:01:45,223 --> 00:01:46,790
Robin.
I'm Louie.
11
00:01:46,910 --> 00:01:48,159
Yeah, I know.
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
12
00:01:48,226 --> 00:01:49,327
You too.
13
00:01:49,394 --> 00:01:50,828
Can I have a cup of coffee?
14
00:01:56,998 --> 00:01:59,567
So... you knew Barney?
15
00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:01,102
Yeah, sure.
16
00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,575
Were you close?
17
00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:08,811
Um, well...
18
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,914
I, uh, I worked at the club.
19
00:02:11,982 --> 00:02:14,383
Oh, the Laugh Circuit.
Yeah.
20
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:17,654
And what did you--
you were close to him?
21
00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:19,123
Were you...
I knew him.
22
00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:20,691
Did you-- were you--
23
00:02:20,759 --> 00:02:22,927
was he a friend of yours
or just. J..
24
00:02:22,995 --> 00:02:25,563
He was my ex-wife's
brother-in-law.
25
00:02:25,631 --> 00:02:27,699
So... he was
important to you.
26
00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:34,707
I'm pretty sure that Barney
27
00:02:34,775 --> 00:02:36,275
was the biggest piece
of shit I ever knew.
28
00:02:36,343 --> 00:02:37,777
Oh, yeah.
29
00:02:37,845 --> 00:02:40,213
He was to me.
30
00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:42,749
( exhaling )
( laughing )
31
00:02:42,817 --> 00:02:44,418
I mean, he was
the worst guy ever maybe.
32
00:02:44,486 --> 00:02:45,719
Oh, yeah, I hated him.
Right?
33
00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:46,754
Yeah.
You hated him?
34
00:02:46,822 --> 00:02:48,122
Oh.
Hated him.
35
00:02:48,190 --> 00:02:49,190
A prick.
36
00:02:49,257 --> 00:02:50,458
He was a prick and an asshole.
37
00:02:50,525 --> 00:02:52,026
Hated him.
Oh...
38
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,328
All the comics hated him.
39
00:02:53,395 --> 00:02:55,029
Serious?
Yep.
40
00:02:55,097 --> 00:02:56,197
He underpaid.
41
00:02:59,235 --> 00:03:01,870
Just mean.
42
00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:03,838
You know, I knew that nobody
would be there today.
43
00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:05,073
Oh, God, yeah.
44
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,541
And I-- like when he--
45
00:03:06,609 --> 00:03:09,077
This is weird, 'cause when
he died, I felt nothing.
46
00:03:09,144 --> 00:03:11,612
Ditto.
I didn't care.
47
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,381
But I knew...
48
00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:16,016
when I pictured him
going in the ground
49
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:19,520
and nobody's there,
he's alone...
50
00:03:19,588 --> 00:03:22,023
it gave me nightmares.
51
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:23,491
Me too.
52
00:03:25,928 --> 00:03:28,329
I was married to
his wife's sister.
53
00:03:28,397 --> 00:03:30,131
I put money into that club.
54
00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:32,467
You did?
About a half-million dollars.
55
00:03:32,535 --> 00:03:35,337
And on top of that, he stole
another 100 grand from me.
56
00:03:35,405 --> 00:03:37,139
Jesus, really?
Oh, yeah.
57
00:03:37,207 --> 00:03:38,240
And I couldn't go after him.
58
00:03:38,308 --> 00:03:39,441
You know, what can I do?
59
00:03:39,509 --> 00:03:41,944
He's family, so I had to...
let it go.
60
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,279
And then here's the worst part.
61
00:03:43,347 --> 00:03:44,580
He kept wanting to be pals
with me, y'know, hang out.
62
00:03:44,648 --> 00:03:47,083
He wouldn't let it go.
63
00:03:47,151 --> 00:03:49,918
He bought a boat with
the money he stole from me.
64
00:03:49,986 --> 00:03:52,020
He kept wanting me to
go out on the boat.
65
00:03:52,088 --> 00:03:54,156
Out on the boat that
he bought with money
66
00:03:54,223 --> 00:03:56,224
he stole from you?
Oh, yeah.
67
00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:57,659
That's amazing.
68
00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:58,660
You know,
the thing about him is,
69
00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:00,562
he wanted everybody
to like him,
70
00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,932
even when he was killing them.
That was the thing with that guy.
71
00:04:02,999 --> 00:04:04,633
He was like
that with everybody.
72
00:04:04,701 --> 00:04:07,002
I mean, he-- he begged comics
to hang out with him.
73
00:04:07,069 --> 00:04:08,804
He'd mistreat us
74
00:04:08,871 --> 00:04:10,239
but then after
the show he'd go,
75
00:04:10,306 --> 00:04:11,440
"Hey, uh, where are we going?
76
00:04:11,508 --> 00:04:13,008
"Come on, let's hang out.
77
00:04:13,076 --> 00:04:14,076
"Where do you want to go?
78
00:04:14,143 --> 00:04:15,410
"Come on, fellas.
79
00:04:15,478 --> 00:04:16,812
"Let's get in the limo.
80
00:04:16,879 --> 00:04:18,914
Let's go to the strip club."
The strip club.
81
00:04:18,982 --> 00:04:20,082
The strip club.
82
00:04:20,149 --> 00:04:21,249
Right.
83
00:04:21,317 --> 00:04:22,250
What was the name
of the place by
84
00:04:22,318 --> 00:04:23,485
the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel?
85
00:04:23,553 --> 00:04:25,120
Sweet Charity.
Sweet Charity.
86
00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:26,155
Every time I came to town,
he kept wanting me to
87
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,423
go down there with him.
88
00:04:27,490 --> 00:04:29,591
He'd go, "Hey, Robbie,
you gotta come down
89
00:04:29,659 --> 00:04:31,794
"and check out the tits
on this new Chilean broad
90
00:04:31,862 --> 00:04:33,029
down at Sweet Charity."
91
00:04:33,096 --> 00:04:35,231
( laughing )
92
00:04:35,299 --> 00:04:36,732
He begged
everybody to go there.
93
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,401
Did you ever go there with him?
No, not once.
94
00:04:38,468 --> 00:04:39,802
Never?
Never.
95
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:41,237
I never went there, either.
No.
96
00:04:41,305 --> 00:04:42,939
I don't know anybody who
went to that club with him.
97
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:44,407
Not one time.
No...
98
00:04:49,346 --> 00:04:51,981
( rock music blaring )
99
00:04:59,289 --> 00:05:01,357
( man ) Gentleman,for the next two minutes,
100
00:05:01,425 --> 00:05:04,494
all lap dances are two for $20.
101
00:05:04,561 --> 00:05:05,895
Right now,for your viewing pleasure,
102
00:05:05,963 --> 00:05:07,964
on the main stage we haveAmber Dambra
103
00:05:08,032 --> 00:05:10,300
and Supa-Loosa.
104
00:05:10,368 --> 00:05:12,602
Let's get those dollars flyingand those drinks flowing.
105
00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:21,612
You want a dance?
106
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,314
Uh, no thank you.
107
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,583
You?
108
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:27,385
Oh, no, no thank you.
109
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,520
Thank you very much.
( sighing )
110
00:05:29,588 --> 00:05:31,556
Want a double dance?
111
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:33,258
No thank you--
thank you.
112
00:05:33,326 --> 00:05:34,760
Yeah, thanks a lot.
I'm good.
113
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:36,228
So you don't want a dance?
114
00:05:36,296 --> 00:05:37,965
No.
No, no.
115
00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:39,400
We're-- not so much--
Then why are you here, then?
116
00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:41,635
Well, uh...
117
00:05:41,703 --> 00:05:44,071
We, uh, we...
118
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:47,007
A friend of ours, uh, uh, died.
119
00:05:47,075 --> 00:05:49,176
Who died?
120
00:05:49,244 --> 00:05:52,814
Just a guy that we knew
who used to come here, so.
121
00:05:52,881 --> 00:05:53,849
I've been working here
for ten years.
122
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:55,517
Who was he?
123
00:05:55,585 --> 00:05:56,718
Barney Ross.
124
00:05:58,354 --> 00:05:59,588
Barney Ross?
125
00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:04,926
Wait, I don't understand.
126
00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:06,461
Barney Ross is dead.
127
00:06:09,965 --> 00:06:11,333
Barney.
128
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,670
I'm sorry.
129
00:06:15,738 --> 00:06:16,804
Come here.
130
00:06:18,374 --> 00:06:19,774
Sister Christian
131
00:06:19,842 --> 00:06:22,176
Oh the time has come
132
00:06:24,179 --> 00:06:28,249
And you know thatyou're the only one
133
00:06:28,316 --> 00:06:30,684
To say...
134
00:06:30,751 --> 00:06:33,286
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm sorry to interrupt
135
00:06:33,354 --> 00:06:35,555
the festivities here
at Sweet Charity for a moment
136
00:06:35,623 --> 00:06:39,259
but we need to pay tribute
right now
137
00:06:39,327 --> 00:06:41,128
to a man...
138
00:06:41,195 --> 00:06:43,597
quite frankly, we all loved...
139
00:06:43,665 --> 00:06:46,333
who had passed away.
140
00:06:46,401 --> 00:06:49,236
A good man, a generous man.
141
00:06:49,304 --> 00:06:51,972
Barney Ross.
142
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,974
Barney...
143
00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:55,809
this one's for you, buddy.
144
00:06:55,877 --> 00:06:58,478
Motorin'
145
00:06:58,546 --> 00:07:01,581
What's yourprice for flight?
146
00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:07,155
In finding Mister Right
147
00:07:09,591 --> 00:07:12,861
You'll be all right tonight
148
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:22,204
Babe you know you'regrowing up so fast
149
00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:28,077
And Mama's worryin' thatyou won't last
150
00:07:28,145 --> 00:07:29,145
To say...
151
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:35,817
Sister Christianthere's so much in life
152
00:07:41,858 --> 00:07:44,259
( laughing )
153
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:45,293
Oh.
154
00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:48,582
Hey, man, it was
nice to meet you.
155
00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,217
Same.
See ya.
156
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:52,019
Hey, can you do me a favor?
Yeah.
157
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:53,688
If...
158
00:07:53,755 --> 00:07:54,956
Oh, I'll go to yours.
Yeah.
159
00:07:55,023 --> 00:07:56,290
Will you...
Whoever dies first.
160
00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:57,525
Okay, good.
161
00:07:57,593 --> 00:07:58,826
Take care, pal.
Good to see ya, take care.
162
00:08:04,894 --> 00:08:05,856
Come on, baby.
163
00:08:06,078 --> 00:08:08,045
Are we gonna go get Jane now?
164
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,114
No, she's with your mom today.
Good.
165
00:08:10,182 --> 00:08:12,416
I want an alone day with you.
Oh, nice.
166
00:08:12,484 --> 00:08:14,018
Me too.
What do you want to do?
167
00:08:14,086 --> 00:08:15,753
You want to get something to eat?
I don't know.
168
00:08:15,821 --> 00:08:17,422
Hang out?
169
00:08:17,490 --> 00:08:18,556
Whatever you want--
Louie...
170
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,825
I wonder if I could
ask you for a favor.
171
00:08:20,893 --> 00:08:22,494
Sure, what's up?
172
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:25,163
I have an emergency
situation and I need--
173
00:08:25,231 --> 00:08:27,499
I'm wondering if you could
watch Never for me,
174
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,334
maybe bring him
home for a play date
175
00:08:29,402 --> 00:08:31,169
and I can pick him up later.
176
00:08:31,237 --> 00:08:32,837
Sure, you have an emergency?
177
00:08:32,905 --> 00:08:34,171
What's wrong?
178
00:08:34,239 --> 00:08:35,906
I'm having my vagina removed.
179
00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:39,910
I'm sorry.
180
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:42,212
No, it's elective.
181
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,782
I've chosen to have it removed.
182
00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:46,183
But I have a consultation
183
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:47,551
and they could
only do it today.
184
00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:49,286
Right.
185
00:08:49,353 --> 00:08:51,321
I have to do it now
to stay on schedule.
186
00:08:51,388 --> 00:08:54,791
I want to get rid of my
vagina before Easter.
187
00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:56,159
Okay, so you need--
188
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:58,662
you need me to watch Never
while you do that?
189
00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:00,064
Yes, could you please?
190
00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:01,565
I know we're not friends
191
00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:03,233
but you're the only person
at this school
192
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:06,637
that I feel I can
confide in or trust.
193
00:09:06,705 --> 00:09:08,806
( Lilly ) Daddy?
What?
194
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:10,608
What?
Daddy, I don't want a play date with Never.
195
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,243
Baby, don't do that.
196
00:09:12,311 --> 00:09:13,411
Her mother needs our help.
197
00:09:13,478 --> 00:09:15,113
But, Daddy!
No, no-- shh.
198
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,181
I'm sorry.
199
00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:18,683
Okay, so you need me
to watch Never
200
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,318
and then you go and...
201
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,086
Yes!
Okay.
202
00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:23,520
That's--
we'll be happy to have him
203
00:09:23,588 --> 00:09:26,390
and just call me after
your thing.
204
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:27,491
Thank you.
Sure.
205
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,093
Oh, also, I need you to know
206
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,828
that I don't say "no" to him.
207
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,901
And he can't eat
anything with carbon in it.
208
00:09:37,969 --> 00:09:39,569
Carbon?
209
00:09:39,637 --> 00:09:41,771
It's all from China.
210
00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:42,906
Right.
211
00:09:47,278 --> 00:09:49,779
Do you have any food
at your house?
212
00:09:49,847 --> 00:09:52,114
Yeah, yeah,
we got plenty of food.
213
00:09:52,282 --> 00:09:53,816
We'll, uh...
214
00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:56,084
Daddy?
Baby, come here.
215
00:09:56,152 --> 00:09:58,086
Look.
Daddy, I really don't want to play with him.
216
00:09:58,154 --> 00:09:59,821
I know, but his mom
needs our help.
217
00:09:59,888 --> 00:10:00,855
( woman screaming )
218
00:10:00,923 --> 00:10:02,156
( horns honking )
219
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:04,425
( tires screeching )
220
00:10:08,163 --> 00:10:10,331
Holy shit!
Run, run!
221
00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:12,166
Get out of here!
Move, move!
222
00:10:12,234 --> 00:10:13,234
Get out of here!
223
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:21,876
( sighing )
224
00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:25,546
All right, gang.
225
00:10:25,614 --> 00:10:26,781
So what do we want to do?
226
00:10:26,849 --> 00:10:28,349
We wanna...
( door slamming )
227
00:10:33,722 --> 00:10:35,656
You hungry?
228
00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:36,624
Okay, come on.
229
00:10:40,229 --> 00:10:41,563
Carbon.
230
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:46,568
Listen, um, Never,
231
00:10:46,635 --> 00:10:48,670
your mom told me that
you can't eat anything
232
00:10:48,737 --> 00:10:50,138
that has carbon in it.
233
00:10:50,205 --> 00:10:53,408
And I-- I, frankly,
I don't know what that means.
234
00:10:53,475 --> 00:10:55,476
So I'm going to need some
guidance from you, okay?
235
00:10:58,481 --> 00:11:00,182
Okay.
236
00:11:00,249 --> 00:11:02,918
Let's see.
237
00:11:02,986 --> 00:11:05,254
How about...
a peanut butter sandwich?
238
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:07,123
I can't have that.
239
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:09,392
Is it the peanuts
or the bread or what's the...
240
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,393
I can't.
241
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,729
My mom says I'll die.
242
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,864
That's pretty serious.
243
00:11:13,931 --> 00:11:14,965
Do you have an allergy?
244
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,034
She says I'll die.
245
00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:18,736
Okay.
246
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,304
How about some eggs?
247
00:11:20,372 --> 00:11:22,406
I'll make you some eggs.
248
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,175
Carrots?
I hate carrots.
249
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:26,810
You want an apple?
I'll die.
250
00:11:26,878 --> 00:11:28,378
All right, listen, Never.
251
00:11:28,446 --> 00:11:30,113
I know your mom says these things to you--
That.
252
00:11:30,181 --> 00:11:31,748
I can have that.
253
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,983
A burger.
254
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:35,151
Want me to make you a burger?
255
00:11:35,219 --> 00:11:36,152
I can't have it cooked.
256
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:37,954
Just the meat.
257
00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:39,722
You want to eat it raw?
In a bowl.
258
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:41,457
I have that a lot--
I like it.
259
00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:44,227
You want me to give you
raw meat in a bowl?
260
00:11:44,295 --> 00:11:46,663
Your mother gives you that?
Yes.
261
00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:49,300
All right, you got it, killer.
262
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,434
( cell phone ringing )
263
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,570
Oh, sorry.
264
00:11:52,638 --> 00:11:53,938
Hello?
265
00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:55,740
Hey, Louie, it's Doug.
266
00:11:55,808 --> 00:11:57,409
Hey, Doug.
267
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:59,911
Hey, can you do a radio
interview in a few minutes?
268
00:11:59,979 --> 00:12:02,080
Uh, what for?
269
00:12:02,147 --> 00:12:04,482
Um, you're playing
Kansas City in two weeks
270
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,585
and ticket sales are
a little soft.
271
00:12:06,652 --> 00:12:09,387
Oh, man, I told you not to
book me in Kansas City.
272
00:12:09,455 --> 00:12:11,322
I-- I--
They hate me there.
273
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:13,625
I got you a live interview on
a major market station
274
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,360
which should really help.
275
00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:18,162
You want me to-- you want
me to do radio right now?
276
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:19,697
It's not even drive time.
277
00:12:19,765 --> 00:12:21,266
Doesn't matter, the economy's
really bad in KC.
278
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,968
Nobody's at work anyway.
279
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,470
The radio ratings have beenmuch higher in the afternoons.
280
00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,372
Yeah, but, Doug,
I hate doing radio shows.
281
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,408
There's always some idiot
and his idiot friend.
282
00:12:29,475 --> 00:12:30,643
I know, I know.
283
00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:31,944
But spend ten minutes
with these guys
284
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,612
and you'll make
way more money next week.
285
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,049
It's worth it.
Can we just book me in, like, a...
286
00:12:36,116 --> 00:12:37,584
a city where
people want to see me
287
00:12:37,651 --> 00:12:39,385
without having to listen to
some high-energy--
288
00:12:39,453 --> 00:12:41,320
Hey, I'm just telling you theeconomics of the situation.
289
00:12:41,388 --> 00:12:42,488
I don't want you
to go to Kansas City
290
00:12:42,555 --> 00:12:44,556
and not make any money.
291
00:12:44,624 --> 00:12:45,824
Okay.
292
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,326
All right, I'll do it.
293
00:12:47,393 --> 00:12:49,094
I'm having them call youin 15 minutes.
294
00:12:49,162 --> 00:12:50,363
Okay.
295
00:12:50,431 --> 00:12:51,331
All right, talk to you later.
296
00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:53,099
Bye.
297
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:54,867
These guys, it's crazy.
298
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:03,842
Never?
299
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:14,753
Did you just throw
my rug out the window?
300
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:16,055
So?
301
00:13:24,031 --> 00:13:25,298
Hey, that's my rug!
302
00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:28,368
Hey, that's--
that's my rug!
303
00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:42,217
Listen, I have an important
phone call to make
304
00:13:42,284 --> 00:13:44,753
so I need something that you
can do while I'm doing that.
305
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,755
Can I play with Lilly?
306
00:13:46,823 --> 00:13:47,956
She's not into it.
307
00:13:48,024 --> 00:13:49,391
You want to watch some TV?
308
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:50,726
My mom doesn't allow it.
309
00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:52,595
Okay, but you're not
with your mom.
310
00:13:52,663 --> 00:13:54,764
You're with me and I say it's okay.
It's not appropriate.
311
00:13:57,568 --> 00:13:59,703
All right, well,
what do you want to do?
312
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:01,571
Can you give me a bath?
313
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:02,806
You want to take a bath?
314
00:14:02,873 --> 00:14:04,674
I want you to give me
a bath and wash me.
315
00:14:04,742 --> 00:14:06,510
That's not gonna happen.
Why?
316
00:14:06,577 --> 00:14:08,445
Because that's not appropriate.
317
00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:10,213
Why?
318
00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:13,149
Look, you can take a bath
319
00:14:13,217 --> 00:14:15,585
but you got to
do it by yourself, okay?
320
00:14:15,653 --> 00:14:17,120
Okay.
321
00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,221
All right, come on.
322
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:27,568
Okay.
323
00:14:27,636 --> 00:14:29,603
All right, Never,
I'm gonna leave you to it.
324
00:14:29,671 --> 00:14:31,038
And I'm gonna ask you
that you just
325
00:14:31,106 --> 00:14:32,840
don't wreck anything.
326
00:14:32,908 --> 00:14:34,275
If you could just
sit peaceful in this tub
327
00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:37,077
while I'm on the phone.
328
00:14:37,145 --> 00:14:38,713
All right, look,
if you can keep it cool
329
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,014
while I'm on the phone,
330
00:14:40,082 --> 00:14:43,017
I'll give you another
bowl of meat, okay?
331
00:14:43,085 --> 00:14:44,552
Okay.
All right.
332
00:14:44,619 --> 00:14:45,453
Good luck.
( cell phone ringing )
333
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,421
Oh, there's my call.
334
00:14:47,489 --> 00:14:48,823
Hello?
335
00:14:48,891 --> 00:14:50,091
( man ) Hi, is this Louie?
336
00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:51,660
Yeah.
337
00:14:51,727 --> 00:14:53,161
I'm Jeff, I produce the show.
338
00:14:53,229 --> 00:14:55,197
We're gonna have you on theair in one minute, okay?
339
00:14:55,265 --> 00:14:56,999
Okay.
340
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,767
Okay, you'll be on withTracer, Pig
341
00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:00,803
and The Hole is Diane.
342
00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,304
The Hole?
343
00:15:02,372 --> 00:15:03,806
You're gonna hearsome music right now
344
00:15:03,873 --> 00:15:05,307
and then you'll be onwith the guys.
345
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,076
Just sit tight, thanks.
Okay, thank you.
346
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:16,051
( man ) That's better, Di!
347
00:15:16,119 --> 00:15:17,586
Coming down, Chow Down!
348
00:15:17,654 --> 00:15:19,655
( man )
That's what the back says!
349
00:15:19,723 --> 00:15:21,924
( woman ) Don't!It's the "MamaJamJamSound."
350
00:15:21,992 --> 00:15:23,526
We've got Louis CK on the line.
351
00:15:23,593 --> 00:15:24,860
Hi.
352
00:15:24,928 --> 00:15:26,896
All right.Hi, Louie.
353
00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:28,264
Hi.
354
00:15:28,331 --> 00:15:29,364
Hey, thanks forcoming on "Chow Down."
355
00:15:29,432 --> 00:15:30,632
We've gotta take time.
356
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,735
Take time.
357
00:15:32,802 --> 00:15:34,536
Well, thank you for having me.
358
00:15:34,604 --> 00:15:37,106
Louie CKis all-time funny-funny.
359
00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:39,408
Ah, he's funny.
360
00:15:39,476 --> 00:15:41,644
And just "jammy"he's going to be at
361
00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:43,746
the Stanford and SonComedy Club
362
00:15:43,814 --> 00:15:46,182
next week, from Thursdaythrough Saturday night.
363
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:49,185
You can get tickets by goingto StanfordsComedyClub.com.
364
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,553
That's right.
365
00:15:50,621 --> 00:15:53,489
So, Louie, hey, what do youthink of the whole
366
00:15:53,557 --> 00:15:55,191
"clammy down chow" thing
367
00:15:55,259 --> 00:15:56,859
going down at the "rowdy down"?
368
00:15:56,927 --> 00:15:58,495
I wouldn't want to be that guy,
you know, he sounds like
369
00:15:58,562 --> 00:15:59,963
he's in a lot of trouble.
370
00:16:00,030 --> 00:16:02,399
Ha-ha-ha.Oh, my God!
371
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,867
That's a "cramadiga."
372
00:16:04,935 --> 00:16:06,703
( speaking gibberish )
373
00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,538
Ah, Pig, shut up!
374
00:16:08,606 --> 00:16:10,373
Wow, that's a "cramalaco."
375
00:16:10,441 --> 00:16:11,975
Aye-ya-ya!
376
00:16:12,042 --> 00:16:14,610
And what about the guy onthe cover of the "Cham Dow"?
377
00:16:14,678 --> 00:16:16,379
He might be a little chatty.
378
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:18,415
Ah, well, you know,
maybe, right?
379
00:16:18,482 --> 00:16:19,482
Ha-ha.
380
00:16:19,784 --> 00:16:22,385
Louie CK.Ah, that's so bad.
381
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:25,654
Louie CK is going to be at theStanford and Sons Comedy Club
382
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:27,523
Thursday throughSaturday night.
383
00:16:27,591 --> 00:16:30,960
Get your tickets now atStanfordsComedyClub.com.
384
00:16:31,027 --> 00:16:32,394
Louie!Yeah?
385
00:16:32,462 --> 00:16:35,030
You ever go to"Dime-A-Dime Penny"?
386
00:16:35,097 --> 00:16:36,865
Yeah, sure,
I'm a single guy-- why not?
387
00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:37,933
Whoa!Don't!
388
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,434
There goesa loud "shebang."
389
00:16:39,502 --> 00:16:41,636
I might wear a couple condoms, though.
Oh!
390
00:16:41,704 --> 00:16:44,773
Louie CK, a dirty, dirty guy.
391
00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:46,341
Louie, hey, what do you think
392
00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:48,577
of the "bat-a-bomb"about Kansas City?
393
00:16:48,644 --> 00:16:50,045
Oh, Kansas City.
394
00:16:50,113 --> 00:16:52,147
Well, I've been going there
to work the clubs
395
00:16:52,214 --> 00:16:53,415
for the last ten years or so...
396
00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:54,783
Uh-huh.
397
00:16:54,851 --> 00:16:56,685
...and I'd have to say
Kansas City
398
00:16:56,753 --> 00:16:58,687
is the worst town
I've ever been in.
399
00:16:58,754 --> 00:17:01,623
I mean, what a dump, right?
400
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,759
It's got to be
the worst city in North America.
401
00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:06,528
And that includes Mexico
and Canada.
402
00:17:10,065 --> 00:17:11,433
Hello?
403
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:14,435
Okay, Louie CK, hey,thanks for coming on the air.
404
00:17:14,503 --> 00:17:17,038
Oh, okay, uh...
405
00:17:17,106 --> 00:17:18,940
Hello?
( Lilly ) Daddy!
406
00:17:19,008 --> 00:17:22,244
Daddy, something smells really
bad coming from the bathroom.
407
00:17:22,311 --> 00:17:23,678
Oh, no.
408
00:17:23,746 --> 00:17:24,779
Jesus!
409
00:17:26,749 --> 00:17:28,349
Damn it.
410
00:17:32,454 --> 00:17:34,689
Never, what...
411
00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:36,958
What is that?
412
00:17:37,026 --> 00:17:38,426
Oh.
413
00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:40,094
Oh, my God.
414
00:17:40,162 --> 00:17:41,862
I "diarrheaed" in the tub.
415
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,330
( Lilly ) Oh, my God!
416
00:17:43,398 --> 00:17:45,199
Daddy, ew!
417
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:47,201
Okay, go, go,
get-- get out of here!
418
00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:48,202
( Lilly ) That is so gross.
419
00:17:49,704 --> 00:17:50,871
I "diarrheaed."
Uh-huh.
420
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:52,372
Okay, uh.
421
00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,711
Uh, okay, we're gonna...
422
00:17:58,779 --> 00:18:00,313
You're gonna...
423
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,682
Um, I'm gonna drain the tub.
424
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,051
Okay, you're gonna step out.
425
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,086
I'm gonna lay this down, okay?
426
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:09,454
Here's what we're gonna do...
427
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,797
( sighing )
428
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,276
Listen, Never, I don't--
I don't know what your deal is.
429
00:18:30,344 --> 00:18:31,678
I know it's just you
and your mom.
430
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:36,616
I just want to--
431
00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:38,117
I just want to say that
if you ever need to
432
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,086
talk about anything,
433
00:18:40,154 --> 00:18:41,721
you know we see
each other in school,
434
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:46,058
so if you need to,
you can talk to me.
435
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,428
Talk about what?
436
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,829
Well, you know,
that's up to you.
437
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,130
It doesn't matter.
438
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,500
If you think of something
you need to talk about--
439
00:18:53,568 --> 00:18:55,002
You might not.
440
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:57,204
I'm just saying.
441
00:18:57,272 --> 00:18:58,639
You can talk to me.
442
00:18:58,707 --> 00:19:00,842
Lilly doesn't like me.
443
00:19:00,909 --> 00:19:02,243
Nope.
444
00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:05,346
No, she does not.
Why?
445
00:19:05,414 --> 00:19:08,583
Because you eat raw meat
and you shit in the tub
446
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:11,319
and you wreck everything.
447
00:19:11,386 --> 00:19:12,787
And as long
as you act like that,
448
00:19:12,855 --> 00:19:14,322
no one's going to like you.
449
00:19:14,389 --> 00:19:16,457
No one's going to
want to be around you.
450
00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:18,560
My mom says that any choice
I make is okay
451
00:19:18,627 --> 00:19:20,228
because I love myself.
452
00:19:22,464 --> 00:19:24,298
Your...
453
00:19:24,366 --> 00:19:26,334
your mom is wrong.
454
00:19:26,402 --> 00:19:27,769
I'm gonna tell her
you said that.
455
00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:29,337
That's okay, you tell her.
456
00:19:29,405 --> 00:19:31,005
I'll take the heat.
457
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,487
( knocking )
458
00:19:45,555 --> 00:19:46,755
Oh, that's her, come on.
459
00:19:49,242 --> 00:19:51,477
( wind whistling )
460
00:19:56,449 --> 00:20:01,386
( speaking foreign language )
461
00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:12,297
I told you before, man,
I don't--
462
00:20:12,365 --> 00:20:13,865
I don't understand African.
463
00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:17,803
( speaking foreign language )
464
00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:19,972
Look, I don't understand what
the hell you're talking about.
465
00:20:20,039 --> 00:20:21,440
If you want to talk to me,
466
00:20:21,507 --> 00:20:24,609
talk to me with
useful stuff, okay?
467
00:20:24,677 --> 00:20:26,311
Oops, I farted.
Okay?
468
00:20:26,378 --> 00:20:27,946
See how cool that is?
469
00:20:28,014 --> 00:20:30,415
All right,
all right, all right?
470
00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:33,051
This dude right here is being
buried in an IKEA shelf.
471
00:20:33,118 --> 00:20:35,286
Look at this dude,
man-- you kidding me?
472
00:20:35,354 --> 00:20:37,528
Since you don't understand what
the hell I'm talking about,
473
00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:39,177
I never go to the adult learning center
474
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:41,421
to learn African,
so I can come back to work
475
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,932
and be here to tell you that I don't want
to hear that African shit.
476
00:20:44,052 --> 00:20:46,359
( speaking foreign language )
477
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,549
Eh?
478
00:20:49,396 --> 00:20:50,461
I hate you.
479
00:20:51,056 --> 00:21:01,148
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
480
00:21:01,198 --> 00:21:05,748
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