All language subtitles for Lopez s01e05 Land of the Rings.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,091 --> 00:00:03,088 (speaking foreign language) 2 00:00:09,679 --> 00:00:12,802 George Lopez! Come here! I need your help with this gardener! 3 00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:16,405 I can't, I'm talking to this lady. Wow, stroller, pink hair, hey! 4 00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:18,371 - George! - Hey, man. 5 00:00:18,491 --> 00:00:20,655 - Wow, last night we talked, huh? - I don't remember. 6 00:00:20,665 --> 00:00:22,598 - I feel like we can talk now, you know? - Yeah, we can. 7 00:00:22,608 --> 00:00:24,917 And you're right, I am having problems with my wife. 8 00:00:24,927 --> 00:00:27,510 I mean, we haven't had marital relations in, like, months! 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,091 I haven't seen her cans! 10 00:00:29,101 --> 00:00:30,780 - Too much, I don't... - That's not a good sign, right? 11 00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:33,212 - Dude, all right, just don't trespass. - Can we talk? 12 00:00:33,222 --> 00:00:35,085 - Okay. - Can I... should I call you, or what? 13 00:00:35,095 --> 00:00:36,363 - Gotta go! - Hey! 14 00:00:36,373 --> 00:00:37,672 George Lopez! 15 00:00:37,682 --> 00:00:40,875 (upbeat Latin music) 16 00:00:40,885 --> 00:00:43,731 17 00:01:02,632 --> 00:01:07,312 Synced and corrected by johnyd13 ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 18 00:01:08,705 --> 00:01:11,448 (upbeat Latin music) 19 00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:13,366 Who puts a dog in a baby carriage? 20 00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:15,293 Dog in a carriage? Sounds cute. 21 00:01:15,303 --> 00:01:18,302 She had him buckled in, and he had pink hair! 22 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,608 - Women in Beverly Hills... - Let me tell you about... oh! 23 00:01:20,618 --> 00:01:22,626 What's all these people doing right here? 24 00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:24,331 Oh yeah, I heard they put in a new Chipotle. 25 00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:26,326 Seriously? That's what they're in line for? 26 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,242 See, here's the thing: they think 27 00:01:28,252 --> 00:01:30,750 they're getting authentic Mexican food, right? 28 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,862 But an authentic Mexican restaurant 29 00:01:32,872 --> 00:01:36,807 doesn't have a sign that says "No Lard." 30 00:01:36,817 --> 00:01:38,985 They got a sign that says "Lard!" 31 00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:41,678 That's right. Manteca de cerdo. 32 00:01:41,688 --> 00:01:43,210 - Right? - Uh-huh. 33 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,808 That's what I'm telling you: We're never gonna find 34 00:01:44,818 --> 00:01:46,958 a place to eat around here. 35 00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:48,546 Let's go back to the old neighborhood, eh? 36 00:01:48,556 --> 00:01:51,863 Where you can have real Mexican food and dogs roam free! 37 00:01:51,873 --> 00:01:55,821 (upbeat Latin music) 38 00:01:55,831 --> 00:01:57,788 (car horn) 39 00:01:59,609 --> 00:02:02,313 - Oh man, that was good. - Yeah, thanks for lunch, homes. 40 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,734 - You got it. - It was good seeing you. 41 00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:06,463 Let's do it again in the near future. Hey, seriously whichever one of you guys 42 00:02:06,473 --> 00:02:08,338 took the tip off the table, go put it back. 43 00:02:08,348 --> 00:02:09,865 - Hey! - What's up? 44 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,882 - What's happening, guys, what's up? - They're doing great! 45 00:02:11,892 --> 00:02:13,793 They won the season championship last weekend. 46 00:02:13,803 --> 00:02:15,779 - You guys are the champs? - Yeah! 47 00:02:15,789 --> 00:02:17,877 Man, when I played on San Fernando, we never... 48 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:20,265 had players that were any good, you know? 49 00:02:20,275 --> 00:02:23,506 - You got some rings? Let me see! - We didn't get them. 50 00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:25,179 They need the ring money to fix the field. 51 00:02:25,189 --> 00:02:27,525 Oh, that's not right. When you're a champ, you gotta have a ring, 52 00:02:27,535 --> 00:02:29,196 - show everybody that you're a champ! - Yeah! 53 00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:31,320 I'll tell you what. I'ma buy the rings for the whole team. 54 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:32,958 - Oh, yeah! - Whoa! 55 00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:34,489 All right, George! 56 00:02:35,663 --> 00:02:37,492 (grooving Latin music) 57 00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:40,148 58 00:02:44,086 --> 00:02:45,488 That was really nice, jefe. 59 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,129 Hey, Manolo, I feel more relaxed. 60 00:02:48,506 --> 00:02:51,206 The sky is bluer, air is fresher, you know? 61 00:02:51,374 --> 00:02:52,576 You know why? 62 00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:55,843 Uh... that Percocet you got off Eduardo? 63 00:02:55,853 --> 00:02:57,478 Yeah, partially, but no. 64 00:02:57,488 --> 00:03:01,166 I think it's because I'm back in the hood, man, amongst the people. 65 00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:02,876 Percocet constipates me. 66 00:03:03,904 --> 00:03:06,871 Hey, what about being able to come back 67 00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:09,357 and buy championship rings for the team? 68 00:03:09,359 --> 00:03:12,309 If you did that, my mom might actually like you. 69 00:03:12,829 --> 00:03:15,085 Hey, wait a minute. Look up there, hey! 70 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,691 - That lot is for sale! - Oh, yeah? 71 00:03:17,701 --> 00:03:21,169 - That one we used to play baseball in! - Yeah. Whoa. Wait, you know what? 72 00:03:21,171 --> 00:03:23,029 - Pull the car over. - A'ight. 73 00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:24,854 74 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:26,595 Wow. 75 00:03:27,297 --> 00:03:28,847 So what do you think? 76 00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:30,822 - Of all the dog crap? - No! 77 00:03:30,832 --> 00:03:32,013 The syringes? 78 00:03:32,023 --> 00:03:35,266 No, Manolo, the lot, man, the location! 79 00:03:35,276 --> 00:03:38,269 - You can see the O'Reilly Auto Parts! - Lift you head above that. 80 00:03:38,271 --> 00:03:40,888 Look at... you can see Hidden Hills; 81 00:03:40,898 --> 00:03:42,807 the reservoir right there that's empty. 82 00:03:42,809 --> 00:03:44,142 You know, I always had a fantasy 83 00:03:44,144 --> 00:03:47,511 of having a place of comfort and tranquility. 84 00:03:47,521 --> 00:03:48,888 Isn't that what you have in Beverly Hills? 85 00:03:48,898 --> 00:03:51,337 No. Beverly Hills, it doesn't have the flavor, 86 00:03:51,347 --> 00:03:53,989 the smells, I mean... (sniffs) Smell that! That's chorizo. 87 00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:56,563 My neighborhood smell like toast. 88 00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:58,398 This is beautiful, right here. 89 00:03:58,408 --> 00:04:00,008 You know what, Manolo? 90 00:04:00,195 --> 00:04:01,709 I'm gonna buy this land. 91 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:05,288 And I'm gonna build a house, and I'm gonna live right here amongst my people! 92 00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:08,041 Hey, jefe? You mind if I start picking up all these bottles and cans? 93 00:04:08,051 --> 00:04:10,296 So I could recycle and make a little extra feria? 94 00:04:10,306 --> 00:04:11,586 Yeah, go ahead. 95 00:04:11,596 --> 00:04:13,311 96 00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:14,973 This will be tranquil! 97 00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:17,925 I'ma call this "Casa de Tranquil." 98 00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:25,406 Hey, jefe, there's a car coming. 99 00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:26,662 Yeah. 100 00:04:27,343 --> 00:04:28,645 Is that her? 101 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,279 That's gotta be Alita Vargas. 102 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,055 Hey, you remember what I told you? 103 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,332 - Yeah. - All right, fool, go ahead. 104 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:38,150 - Don't trip. I got you covered. - Just don't mention me at all. 105 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,453 All right. 106 00:04:41,599 --> 00:04:43,112 (horn honks) 107 00:04:48,373 --> 00:04:50,075 - Excuse me. How you doin'? - Hi! 108 00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:52,389 Mister Manolo, I'm Alita Vargas. 109 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,403 - Yeah, I want to buy this. - Oh, it's an excellent site. 110 00:04:55,413 --> 00:04:58,513 Zoned for business, residential, whatever you want. 111 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,207 Can I ask how long have you been looking? 112 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:04,612 - About 30 minutes? - No, no no, I mean for... um... 113 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,255 You know what? 114 00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:08,290 Here are the site specs. 115 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:12,358 Is that price within your budget? 116 00:05:12,476 --> 00:05:14,245 Yeah, it looks good, I'll take it. 117 00:05:14,255 --> 00:05:16,255 Oh. Have you been preapproved? 118 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,852 You know, for credit? 119 00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:21,850 - If you say so. - (laughs) 120 00:05:22,247 --> 00:05:24,374 You expect me to believe you're the buyer? 121 00:05:24,384 --> 00:05:26,231 What are you going to do, grow beans? 122 00:05:26,241 --> 00:05:28,541 - Yeah, something like that. - Mmm. 123 00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:29,899 Hey! 124 00:05:30,227 --> 00:05:32,027 You know what? I know you! 125 00:05:32,056 --> 00:05:35,126 You're that guy that's always hanging out at La Azteca! 126 00:05:35,136 --> 00:05:37,119 - Manolo! - Who's in the car? 127 00:05:37,264 --> 00:05:38,737 Uh, what car? 128 00:05:38,829 --> 00:05:40,092 That car. 129 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,439 Nobody. 130 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,412 - Nobody, huh? - What's she doing? 131 00:05:44,422 --> 00:05:45,654 - Hey! - No! 132 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,497 Whoever you are, stop being a pussy and show your face. 133 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:50,916 Come on! Let's go, open up! 134 00:05:55,638 --> 00:05:58,644 - George Lopez! - Hey. How you doing, I... I'm um, 135 00:05:58,654 --> 00:06:01,091 working on a new show called, uh, "Hidden Jorge." 136 00:06:01,101 --> 00:06:02,314 It's a lot of... 137 00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:04,462 it's on Telemundo. A lot of cameras out here, recording devices... 138 00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:06,178 - All right, that's a wrap, guys. - Uh-huh. 139 00:06:06,188 --> 00:06:07,888 Yeah, you just didn't want me to know you were the buyer 140 00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:09,277 because you thought I'd charge you too much. 141 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:10,936 - Hey, no. - She's onto us, jefe. 142 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,695 What is George Lopez doing buying in this neighborhood anyway? 143 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,657 - I'm from here, you know? - I know! 144 00:06:15,659 --> 00:06:17,518 The question is why are you back here? 145 00:06:17,528 --> 00:06:19,047 Well you know, I kind of missed, uh, 146 00:06:19,057 --> 00:06:21,049 how beautiful it is out here, and you know... 147 00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:24,400 How breathtaking the scenery is. 148 00:06:25,192 --> 00:06:28,704 Oh, um... are you working with a realtor now? 149 00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:30,869 I am... no. I'm unattached. 150 00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:34,510 Uh... and I don't have a realtor either. 151 00:06:34,637 --> 00:06:36,921 Oh, I suppose I could take you on. 152 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:39,169 Oh, can you handle this? It's a lot to... 153 00:06:39,179 --> 00:06:41,374 - Oh, I love a challenge. - Ooh, okay. 154 00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:44,009 All this back-and-forth is like "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." 155 00:06:44,019 --> 00:06:46,555 You know, where Brad and Angelina try to assassinate each other? 156 00:06:46,565 --> 00:06:47,685 (clears throat) 157 00:06:47,695 --> 00:06:50,058 Okay, go... go get the pistachio shells out of the car. 158 00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:51,693 Claro, s?. 159 00:06:51,863 --> 00:06:56,365 You know, since, um, I already rep the owner, I could charge less commission. 160 00:06:56,565 --> 00:06:58,115 Get you a good price. 161 00:06:58,261 --> 00:06:59,765 That would be great, that's a win-win. 162 00:06:59,775 --> 00:07:01,569 - It is. It really is. - What exactly... 163 00:07:01,579 --> 00:07:03,205 Yes, okay, here's the site specs. 164 00:07:03,207 --> 00:07:06,057 - Okay. Wow. That's a great lot. - Yes, it is. 165 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:08,838 I love weekends here. 166 00:07:09,157 --> 00:07:11,966 That's why if the priest gave scores to the football games, 167 00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:13,976 I'd be at church every Sunday. 168 00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,341 If the Rams move to L.A., 169 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,498 none of us would be going to church on Sundays. 170 00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:19,376 (phone chimes) 171 00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:22,039 - Hey, man, you recording me? - No. 172 00:07:23,395 --> 00:07:25,344 Yes. It's for the podcast! 173 00:07:25,548 --> 00:07:26,834 What did you guys end up calling that? 174 00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:28,045 Cholo Chat! 175 00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,732 (bleep) George Lopez! 176 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,485 You come back to steal more of my stories for your standup? 177 00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:35,945 Hey, man, relax, you're in a public place! 178 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,480 I wrote letters about your terrible show. 179 00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,011 I tried to get it off the air. 180 00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:43,779 Finally got it canceled but that shit's still on my TV, man! 181 00:07:43,789 --> 00:07:45,963 (bleep) George Lopez! 182 00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:48,784 - Dude. - Here, hide it, just hide it, man! 183 00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:50,182 Manolito! 184 00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:53,789 Hey, ma. That's for lunch? I'm starving! 185 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:59,595 No te quiero cerca de mi hijo. 186 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,547 No eres buena persona. 187 00:08:01,684 --> 00:08:04,255 - She says you're a bad influence. - I got a star on the Walk of Fame 188 00:08:04,265 --> 00:08:06,802 when you were in Pelican Bay. How am I a bad influence? 189 00:08:06,804 --> 00:08:09,137 Tienes una boca sucia! 190 00:08:09,253 --> 00:08:11,607 Necesitas ir a la iglesia. 191 00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:13,559 She says you use too many dirty words in your act, 192 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:17,438 - and she's never seen you in church. - I speak Spanish. 193 00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,981 (unintelligible) que va cambiar. 194 00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,599 I didn't say I was going to change! 195 00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:25,236 - Got it all right here. - What is that, a Cholo Chat exclusive? 196 00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,321 Yeah. 197 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,253 (upbeat Latin music) 198 00:08:28,772 --> 00:08:33,219 George Lopez. You are a good man, a great man to buy rings for our team. 199 00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:34,580 Yeah man, thank you. 200 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,824 You know what? Those look nice right there. 201 00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:41,116 Nice, yes, but we want more than nice for our boys, no? 202 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,806 Whoa, man, come on! That looks like a Super Bowl ring! 203 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,050 Exactly. 204 00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:48,510 Each one will be hand-crafted. 205 00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,706 Each one will have little diamonds 206 00:08:50,716 --> 00:08:53,398 that spell out "San Fernando." 207 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:57,219 Wow, San Fernando's a big word. It's actually, uh, it's two words! 208 00:08:57,392 --> 00:08:58,924 It's cool, though. If you give someone a beatdown, 209 00:08:58,934 --> 00:09:01,523 they'll have San Fernando marked all over their face. 210 00:09:01,655 --> 00:09:04,443 So uh, how much are we talking about? 211 00:09:04,654 --> 00:09:07,029 For you, the funny man discount, huh? 212 00:09:07,185 --> 00:09:09,197 $1,400 all in. 213 00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:11,819 Come... that's a relief, phew! 214 00:09:11,829 --> 00:09:14,586 - I can give you that right now! - Hang on. 215 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,720 Right there, I put $1,500, you know. 216 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,203 - Thanks for your help. - (laughs) 217 00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:20,175 George, George... 218 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,928 That's $1,500 per ring. 219 00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:24,750 - Per ring. - What? 220 00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:28,850 Wait a minute man, that... that... Hang on. That's a lot of money. 221 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,539 You said... wait a minute, man, you said $1,400. 222 00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:34,402 - You countered with $1,500. - You did say $1,500, jefe. 223 00:09:34,412 --> 00:09:35,641 You work here? 224 00:09:36,139 --> 00:09:39,339 Why don't we just go with, uh, look and make it easy? 225 00:09:39,376 --> 00:09:41,651 You know right there, you have dice, you can put the score. 226 00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:44,391 - We'll just go with these. - Sure, if you want to play it that way! 227 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:46,873 - (laughs) - But what are people going to say 228 00:09:46,883 --> 00:09:49,959 when Mr. Big Shot TV star builds a water park, 229 00:09:49,969 --> 00:09:52,424 then buys our heroes cheap rings? 230 00:09:53,431 --> 00:09:55,931 - Water park? - On the land you bought! 231 00:09:56,417 --> 00:09:59,334 No, man, come on! I'm not building a water park! 232 00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:02,960 Of course, it is your decision, George Lopez. 233 00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:06,638 You should do whatever makes you feel comfortable doing! 234 00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:08,745 For your former community. 235 00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:11,042 Come on, dude. 236 00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:12,492 Former? 237 00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:16,932 Let's go see Holly. I need some work. 238 00:10:17,238 --> 00:10:19,054 This is what I was telling you, dude. 239 00:10:19,064 --> 00:10:20,767 Every time I try to go back and do something good 240 00:10:20,777 --> 00:10:22,527 I get a mouthful of crap! 241 00:10:22,785 --> 00:10:25,385 Want me to pick you up some breath mints? 242 00:10:26,027 --> 00:10:27,776 You know, I honestly don't know if you're joking or not. 243 00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:30,211 - What? - $1,400, $1,500 a ring? 244 00:10:30,221 --> 00:10:32,471 That guy's crazy! I can't do that! 245 00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:34,416 It's tax-deductible. 246 00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:37,370 How do you know, fool? You don't even pay taxes! 247 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,680 I pay sales tax. 248 00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:46,128 - Ow! - (desk crashing) 249 00:10:46,247 --> 00:10:48,532 Hello my friend. Oh! Hello. 250 00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,798 - Okay. - You get a new ironing board? 251 00:10:50,808 --> 00:10:53,301 No, it's just a standing desk so I can work standing up. 252 00:10:53,311 --> 00:10:54,322 Okay. 253 00:10:54,332 --> 00:10:57,377 Speaking of work, your land purchase went through. 254 00:10:57,387 --> 00:11:00,021 So I'll go ahead and cut a check to the owner, Alita Vargas. 255 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,501 Uh, no, Alita Vargas is the realtor. 256 00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:04,312 - Nope, owner. - What? 257 00:11:04,736 --> 00:11:08,836 She's the owner? I thought... oh, man, I must have read it incorrectly. 258 00:11:09,203 --> 00:11:11,536 Read it wrong? What did she tell you? 259 00:11:11,717 --> 00:11:13,967 - She told me she was the realtor. - Okay, was she hot? 260 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,271 I... I didn't notice. 261 00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:16,908 - (desk crashes down) - Look, buddy. 262 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,350 How many times have I told you: If you want to (bleep) her. 263 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,843 Just let me do the negotiating so she doesn't (bleep) you. 264 00:11:21,853 --> 00:11:24,083 Wait a minute, what's with that (bleep) and the "buddies"? 265 00:11:24,093 --> 00:11:27,919 Okay, wait. Oh... are you trying to sound like Danny? 266 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,504 A little, but... 267 00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:32,853 - I'm trying to toughen up. - Oh, yeah. I get that. 268 00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:34,966 You know when you're 18 and 4 feet tall... 269 00:11:34,976 --> 00:11:38,023 Okay, look. George, your business manager has been riding me 270 00:11:38,033 --> 00:11:39,435 about all this money that you're spending 271 00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:41,196 with the land and those rings you're supposed to buy. 272 00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:43,728 - The cash flow is tight, my friend. - What do you mean, tight? 273 00:11:43,738 --> 00:11:46,181 I mean you might have to sell the Pebble Beach house tight! 274 00:11:46,191 --> 00:11:47,604 No way, no. I bought Pebble Beach, 275 00:11:47,614 --> 00:11:49,262 and that's how I knew I made it. I'm not... 276 00:11:49,272 --> 00:11:50,710 Have you ever been up there? It's beautiful. 277 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,408 Well, there is one other option. 278 00:11:53,227 --> 00:11:55,326 - Remember Tiddly Pie? - The viral kid that 279 00:11:55,336 --> 00:11:57,138 has already turned me down twice? 280 00:11:57,148 --> 00:12:00,035 - Once for creative differences? - Well, it's back in play. 281 00:12:00,037 --> 00:12:02,581 Turns out he's a big Beverly Hills Chihuahua fan. 282 00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,540 Listen, Tiddly Pie, no, no way. 283 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,584 Concentrate on the Vegas thing and let's get some gigs, okay? 284 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,628 Some real gigs. 285 00:12:09,894 --> 00:12:12,885 - I gotta pay for some rings. - This (bleep) desk. 286 00:12:14,424 --> 00:12:15,735 Everyone here is gonna hate me 287 00:12:15,745 --> 00:12:18,285 I don't buy those damn baseball rings, Manolo. 288 00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:21,367 What happened to plain old bragging rights? 289 00:12:22,014 --> 00:12:24,227 Hey, there's Alita right there. Pull over. 290 00:12:24,237 --> 00:12:25,457 What is she doing? 291 00:12:28,065 --> 00:12:31,017 - Oh my, do you need some help? - Oh, my hero. 292 00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:32,976 It's this damn drought. 293 00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:35,873 - There we go. - All right. 294 00:12:35,883 --> 00:12:39,053 Hey, speaking of real estate... So, my manager's got this crazy idea 295 00:12:39,063 --> 00:12:41,352 that the property you sold me was actually yours. 296 00:12:41,362 --> 00:12:42,979 Yeah, it was. 297 00:12:42,981 --> 00:12:44,525 Wait a minute, Alita, you lied to me? 298 00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:46,932 I thought you told me the owner was a guy that got his leg amputated. 299 00:12:46,942 --> 00:12:49,452 It was his foot, and it was true when I told you that. 300 00:12:49,454 --> 00:12:51,871 - I bought it after. - So you could flip it? 301 00:12:52,013 --> 00:12:54,315 Look, Mr. One Foot is a real ladr?n. 302 00:12:54,325 --> 00:12:57,183 If he knew George Lopez was the buyer, he'd have jacked up the price. 303 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,307 So, I bought the land, and I sold it to you 304 00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:00,963 for way less than he would have. 305 00:13:00,965 --> 00:13:02,307 - Smart. - Mm-hmm. 306 00:13:02,317 --> 00:13:04,392 Hey, George Lopez! 307 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,312 Hey, when are you gonna open that water park? 308 00:13:06,322 --> 00:13:08,543 Look, I'm not opening a water park! 309 00:13:08,762 --> 00:13:11,775 Oh, you're keeping raging Lopez on the DL, huh? 310 00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:14,439 - I got you. - Man, somebody started this rumor 311 00:13:14,449 --> 00:13:17,513 that I'm opening a water park on the property I just bought from you. 312 00:13:17,515 --> 00:13:18,785 I'm not! 313 00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:20,038 I like it. 314 00:13:20,274 --> 00:13:23,118 It's good buzz. It will help drive up property values. 315 00:13:23,128 --> 00:13:25,743 - Did you start the rumor? - Me? (scoffs) Come on. 316 00:13:26,026 --> 00:13:28,100 (Latin music) 317 00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:31,465 318 00:13:36,661 --> 00:13:38,148 Thanks for building a water park, George. 319 00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:40,322 You know, why does everybody think I'm building a water park? 320 00:13:40,332 --> 00:13:42,747 So will kids under 5 be admitted for free? 321 00:13:42,757 --> 00:13:44,936 When accompanied by an adult! 322 00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:47,960 Dude, you're making up rules to an imaginary water park. 323 00:13:47,962 --> 00:13:49,404 It's always that. 324 00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:51,090 Is it okay if I join? 325 00:13:51,354 --> 00:13:53,672 Hey Coach, congratulations on the championship, man! 326 00:13:53,682 --> 00:13:55,820 Yeah... George, what's this I hear about 327 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,554 you going with the crappy rings? 328 00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:58,888 The players are very upset! 329 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:02,489 He's a millionaire, and he's giving our boys Cracker Jack rings! 330 00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:04,455 (bleep) George Lopez! 331 00:14:04,465 --> 00:14:07,471 Okay, we're not going with crappy rings, okay. 332 00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:09,381 As a matter of fact, you know, I'm gonna get the gaudy ones, 333 00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:12,937 the big... kind of the ones that Super Bowl winners wear! 334 00:14:12,947 --> 00:14:15,655 Yeah, with diamonds! Gonna leave a big-ass mark, Coach! 335 00:14:15,665 --> 00:14:16,572 All right! All right. 336 00:14:16,574 --> 00:14:18,529 So how many rings are we talking about, Coach? 337 00:14:18,539 --> 00:14:20,936 The nine starters, a sub? 338 00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:23,635 Here's a list of everyone that gets a ring. 339 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:26,558 There's more than a team's worth of names here! 340 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,868 Looks like there's more on the back! 341 00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,995 - Taco. Who's Taco? - He's the mascot. 342 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,275 - Mascots don't get rings! - Mascots get rings. 343 00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:36,353 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 344 00:14:36,363 --> 00:14:40,087 Players, coaches, mascots, trainers, scorekeepers... 345 00:14:40,097 --> 00:14:42,243 - Don't forget the groundskeepers' kids! - Oh, yeah. 346 00:14:42,253 --> 00:14:45,245 - They were chalking the field. - Wha... How many kids did he have? 347 00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:46,856 - Eight. - All right, listen. 348 00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:49,930 I think we should just give them one ring for them to share. 349 00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:52,034 - I mean, they shared the fun! - (laughs) 350 00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:54,569 - They're orphans, George. - Yeah, that's messed up. 351 00:14:54,579 --> 00:14:57,780 How many rings are we... Are we talking about, Coach? 352 00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,547 - 63. - 63? 353 00:14:59,557 --> 00:15:00,762 That's the short list. 354 00:15:00,772 --> 00:15:02,415 Okay, to be honest, I think that only 355 00:15:02,425 --> 00:15:04,991 the actual players who played in the championship 356 00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:07,337 should get rings, because that makes you feel special. 357 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,492 If you didn't participate in the championship, 358 00:15:09,502 --> 00:15:12,156 I think if they get a ring, I think it cheapens the game of baseball 359 00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:16,028 which already has a lot of problems with steroids and infidelities... 360 00:15:16,038 --> 00:15:18,457 I didn't actually play, so what, I don't get a ring? 361 00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:21,753 Won't even give the coach a ring? (bleep) George Lopez! 362 00:15:21,763 --> 00:15:23,325 You get a ring, the players, 363 00:15:23,335 --> 00:15:25,483 maybe the third base coach 'cause he's the one... 364 00:15:25,493 --> 00:15:27,680 The last one that sees them before they score. 365 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,160 What do you want to do, have two celebration banquets? 366 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:33,329 Wait a minute, I'm not... I'm not paying for a banquet. 367 00:15:33,529 --> 00:15:36,119 Why you gotta come down here and let everyone know how rich you are 368 00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:38,788 and then take a giant dump on all of us? 369 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:40,551 (bleep) you, George Lopez! 370 00:15:40,561 --> 00:15:42,160 Okay. Manolo, shall we? 371 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:45,043 I have to go to one of my other charity events where you know, 372 00:15:45,053 --> 00:15:47,848 I give toys to, you know, kids in the hospital. 373 00:15:47,858 --> 00:15:50,045 Yeah, yeah, probably one toy for all the sick kids, 374 00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:53,542 just like one ring for all the groundskeeper's orphans! 375 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,474 (bleep) George Lopez! 376 00:15:55,484 --> 00:15:58,178 377 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,645 You think Jerry Seinfeld has to go through that 378 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,805 when he goes back to Long Island? 379 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,221 Or Chris Rock in Brooklyn? 380 00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:06,930 - Why me? - Uh, jefe? 381 00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:11,240 What do you call one of those questions you don't really want an answer to? 382 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:13,818 Wait, what are all those people doing up there? 383 00:16:13,828 --> 00:16:16,148 All those people are standing on my new lot! 384 00:16:16,158 --> 00:16:17,758 Let's go check it out. 385 00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:21,888 Look, guys. The big waterslide is gonna come right down hill! 386 00:16:22,221 --> 00:16:23,833 It's gonna be great! 387 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,195 Hey, George! 388 00:16:25,823 --> 00:16:27,478 He says you're not building a water park! 389 00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:28,494 I'm not! 390 00:16:28,504 --> 00:16:31,012 See? He's building a community garden and park 391 00:16:31,022 --> 00:16:33,693 so our children can enjoy some green space! 392 00:16:33,703 --> 00:16:35,387 - I'm not doing that either. - (bell dings) 393 00:16:35,397 --> 00:16:37,596 George Lopez es malo! 394 00:16:37,823 --> 00:16:39,529 Malo, malo, malo! 395 00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:41,757 George, Mama don't believe you're building a church. 396 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:44,064 I'm not building a church! You know that! Why would you tell her that? 397 00:16:44,074 --> 00:16:45,321 El diablo! 398 00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:48,941 - Se?ora... - Diablo! 399 00:16:49,162 --> 00:16:51,812 Oh, you were in prison, and I'm the devil. 400 00:16:53,539 --> 00:16:55,226 Where you guys getting this stuff from? 401 00:16:55,236 --> 00:16:56,888 He came to steal our dreams! 402 00:16:56,898 --> 00:16:59,789 Just like he stole my life to make his many TV shows! 403 00:16:59,799 --> 00:17:01,978 (bleep) George Lopez! 404 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,339 - (groans) - I just wanted to come and 405 00:17:04,349 --> 00:17:07,207 - get a place where I could connect... - Green space? 406 00:17:07,217 --> 00:17:08,614 I don't want any green space! 407 00:17:08,624 --> 00:17:11,147 There is going to be a lazy river in the middle! 408 00:17:11,149 --> 00:17:13,082 - A lazy river? - Yes! 409 00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,862 You're gonna keep it secret! It's gonna be awesome! 410 00:17:20,687 --> 00:17:23,059 I know a guy who can make a car bulletproof. 411 00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:25,250 He used to work for El Chapo. 412 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:27,479 Gees, Mano, it's not that bad, dude. 413 00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:29,964 Once the house is built, they'll all forget about the communal garden 414 00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:33,374 - and the whole water park thing. - What about the rings? 415 00:17:33,388 --> 00:17:35,278 Yeah, that's gonna be tough because those kids would have 416 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,874 had those rings their whole life! 417 00:17:36,884 --> 00:17:39,239 Then, every time somebody sees the ring they're gonna say, 418 00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:42,750 "Hey, where'd you get those, from that cheap bastard George Lopez?" 419 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,193 - If you're lucky. - I know what I gotta do. 420 00:17:45,203 --> 00:17:48,187 - Holly, I need money. - Mmm, so you're selling Pebble Beach? 421 00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:51,619 No! I'd rather pull a wagon with that... that... that kid Tiddler... 422 00:17:51,629 --> 00:17:53,798 - Tiddly Pie? - My mom loves that guy. 423 00:17:53,808 --> 00:17:56,545 - She thinks he's hilarious. - How much money can I make? 424 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:59,496 You could make as much as you need if you carry an energy drink 425 00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:02,156 and wear a headband from an app company, hell yeah! 426 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,322 - (groans) - (phone beeps) 427 00:18:04,332 --> 00:18:06,567 - (light applause) - (Pomp and Circumstance plays) 428 00:18:06,577 --> 00:18:08,071 (shutter clicks) 429 00:18:08,081 --> 00:18:10,682 Rivera, who didn't just keep our towels clean. 430 00:18:10,939 --> 00:18:13,326 - He folded some of them. - There you go. 431 00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:15,604 (cheers and applause) 432 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:20,060 Manny Delplato, whose bus driving skills are second to no one. 433 00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:24,624 Except for perhaps Jos? Hern?ndez. 434 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:27,658 Apparently they couldn't have done it without you. 435 00:18:27,668 --> 00:18:30,473 - (shutter clicks) - Maria Delgado, 436 00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:33,505 who made incredible tamales every Christmas. 437 00:18:33,769 --> 00:18:36,508 - How many more do we have? - Uh, 43. 438 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:38,392 (groans) 439 00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:42,547 63 rings and not one thank you! 440 00:18:42,797 --> 00:18:44,671 Well, it was a nice ceremony. 441 00:18:44,681 --> 00:18:46,440 - You did great. - Thank you. 442 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:47,769 Oh, and thank you for letting me 443 00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:50,416 staple my business cards to the back of the program. 444 00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:53,726 I love the community, and you're part of the community. 445 00:18:55,356 --> 00:18:56,776 So, um... 446 00:18:57,839 --> 00:19:00,922 Do you think you're gonna sell the Pebble Beach house? 447 00:19:01,331 --> 00:19:03,559 I don't know. I've been thinking about a lot of things. 448 00:19:03,569 --> 00:19:06,248 Yeah? Me too, George. 449 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:08,740 - (bell dings) - El diablo! 450 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,127 - No, pero Se?ora, you scared... - Diablo! 451 00:19:12,129 --> 00:19:13,724 (bell dings) 452 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,846 You know, there are days that I ask myself, 453 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,583 "Do I want fries with that?" 454 00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:20,052 You want fries with that? 455 00:19:20,062 --> 00:19:21,652 (hip-hop music) 456 00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:23,525 You want fries with that? 457 00:19:23,535 --> 00:19:24,970 (metal squeals) 458 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:28,760 You want fries with that? Yes. Yes I do, every time. 459 00:19:29,012 --> 00:19:32,390 Now, I've got a lot of famous people that have been pulling my wagon lately. 460 00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:36,080 I've had Justin Timberlake, Gwyneth Paltrow, George Lopez! 461 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,201 Yeah, don't worry, I didn't know who he was either. 462 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,445 But, time to pull the wagon! 463 00:19:40,455 --> 00:19:42,922 Hey Lopez, I asked if you want fries with that! 464 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:46,363 Synced and corrected by johnyd13 ~ www.addic7ed.com ~ 465 00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:50,963 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36861

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