All language subtitles for Lopez s01e04 Georges Party.eng

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Hey, boss. Water lovers.
The fuzzy one with many flavors.

Man, that's the same guy
that got jumped into a gang.

I'll get the door.

George. Hey, I had a two-ton
air conditioning unit

delivered to my house last night.
Crane dropped it right in my driveway.

- You seen it?
- I don't... Oh, man, come on.

What do you think? Do you
think I got your two-ton unit

- stashed in my living room?
- No, but I was thinking

maybe you heard
something, saw something.

It's cold in there, isn't it?
It's cold. Ooh, sweater weather.

- You're wearing a jacket.
- You checked over there?

Right over... hey!

(upbeat Latin music)

(

Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

Oh, man. That dude Stephen, that guy's
been up my ass since I moved in.

When I got Benny, he put up
those new pooping zone signs

all over his scraggly ass yard.

Well, you did train
Benny to only go there.

- Yeah, that's... (chuckles)
- Maybe you got off on the wrong foot.

Maybe he doesn't like
that my Mexican feet

- are in this neighborhood.
- Stephen likes me.

He even gave me a bunch
of his old sweaters.

He thinks you're the help.

He also gives me his bottles and cans.

Okay, I will admit that there
aren't very many minorities...

Well, non-Persian
minorities... in Beverly Hills,

but that is even more reason
for you to reach out to them.

- Let them get to know you.
- Well, how would I do that?

We throw a party.

Invite everyone over
for a meet and greet.

If they know you, they will love you.

I don't know about that.
Dad's anti-social.

I don't think that's true.
No, that's true; I am.

I don't like parties, especially my own,

because then people come over, right?

Then they get together
in groups, and they talk.

Then they want to eat.
Then they want to drink.

- Then they touch my stuff.
- Tell her about Dean Martin.

Oh, okay. You know who Dean Martin is?

You know, the guy with
the arrow through his head?

I'm gonna go wash
the truck. I'll be back.

And I'll stop, and I'll
grab some fruit waters too.

Okay, Dean Martin loved to perform,

but when he was done
performing, he liked to be alone.

He didn't like to be alone.
He loved to be alone.

When he went home, he
just wanted to watch TV.

He wanted to watch westerns alone.

- Wow, you said "alone" three times.
- That's how much he liked to be alone.

And when Mrs. Dean
Martin would have a party,

Dean Martin would call
the cops on himself

when he wanted to shut it down
so Dean Martin could be alone.

George, why did you buy this house?

Because it's nice.

It's got great public schools
that we don't use, big lawns.

You won't find a house
like this in San Fernando.

Well, then, why don't
you make the best of it?

So you think if I had a party
that my neighbors would like me?

Definitely.

(upbeat music)

(

(man speaking in Spanish)

(speaking in Spanish)

Why?

Why must you do that

when you talk in another
language in front of me?

Come on, man. If you had another
gear, wouldn't you use it?

Yes, but I don't have
anybody to use my gear with.

There's a lot of your gears everywhere.

(both laughing)

Hey, Sheila wants me to
get to know my neighbors,

so I have to have a party.

Oh, that sounds like a
blast and right up your alley.

- Good luck with that, George.
- But you got to come

- because I need somebody to talk to.
- Other than the guests

- that will be at your party?
- Mm-hmm.

(sighs)

You know what? I'll come.

It'll be great, because remember,

there is a U...

in you.

- What the hell is that?
- Part of my motivational speech.

Arsenio got me some corporate
gigs that he can't do,

- so I'm gonna do them.
- Oh, Arsenio got you some gigs?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- So you're double dipping.
- I'm not double dipping.

It's diversifying, and these
corporate gigs are easy,

'cause you don't have to be that funny.

Well, then, that's perfect for you,
'cause you're not that funny.

You know what? Say what you want,

but I think I found my sweet spot.

All right, hang on.

- (speaking in Spanish)
- (speaking in Spanish)

I asked them if they
were looking for a cook.

(both laughing)

He said no.

I tried... I told him they might
be diversifying. He said no.

There's no black people
here for me to talk black to?

(

Hey, Sheila, have you seen
my clubs that were by that door?

Yeah, I put them in the closet.

What's all this?

I've got a lot of
work to do for the party.

I'm meeting with a caterer in an hour,

and I've got to narrow down the theme.

I think the theme is Sheila is
moving all of George's stuff.

It's just better party flow.

Look, beer mugs at eye level
so people can see and think,

"Hey, yeah, I'd like a beer in a mug."

Oh, and come see this.

What happened to my Mexican candies?

I threw them out; they're too salty.

So I wanted to give the
room more of an open feel

so people can mingle and move.

Yeah, mingle, I don't like the sound of.

Where's everything at?

What's with these books?

Oh, I borrowed them from a
friend who stages home for sale.

They're really good
conversation starters.

Are you serious? "Teacups of the World"

and "The Naked Life
of Georgia O'Keeffe."

Oh, come on.

She should shower in the dark.

See? Good conversation starter.

That's a conversation killer.

- Hey, guys. What's that?
- Nothing.

Okay, if you're gonna have this party,

- I'm gonna invite Bethenny.
- I don't want Bethenny to come.

Why don't you invite one
of your other friends?

- Bethenny can come.
- Thank you, Sheila.

See, she's the coolest
Dad's special friend ever.

Wait a minute.

Where's my weed? Are these real flowers?

Oh, come on, Sheila. Why are
my guitars in the living room?

(

Dude, nothing's ever easy in my life.

She's talking about playing board games

and doing karaoke.

Hey, we could download some
of my band's music to play.

Does everybody have a band these days?

- Pretty much.
- She's making a list of themes.

She wants the party to have a theme.

How about Unhappy Mexican?
That's a good theme.

You know what? I should make a list
of excuses to get out of there.

I think my daughter's sick.
I'm being redeployed.

I have to go get ice.
Those are good ones.

So all them times you
asked me if I needed ice?

Oh, dude, and she's
putting out these books.

She put one out of Georgia O'Keeffe.

O'Keeffe? The painter?

You know all them pictures
of flowers she made?

Every one was really a vagina.

Okay, I put the dogs in the guest room.

This is a lot of food.
Are you sure it's enough?

- Oh, there's plenty.
- You know what?

I'm gonna go get some ice
because we always run out.

George, we have plenty of ice.
We have plenty of everything.

- Okay, cool.
- Are you nervous?

No, I just want everybody
to have a good time.

- I'm anxious.
- Okay, all right.

- (chuckles) Where are the girls at?
- They're upstairs changing.

Okay, well, keep an eye on Bethenny,
'cause she's not the best...

George, why don't you go relax, okay?

- Go sit down.
- (doorbell rings)

Oh, better yet, why
don't you get the door?

- Okay.
- Okay?

All right.

(doorbell rings)

George.

- Party's not for an hour.
- Yeah, I know.

I don't like eating finger
food in front of other people.

I think it shows weakness,

so I'm gonna fill up now
and have some in there

to soak up the alcohol.

Wow, it's like a meat locker in here.

- Jackpot.
- Seriously?

- Can I help you find something?
- Let's see how this feels.

68 degrees. How many zones you
running? Upstairs, downstairs?

Okay, I didn't steal your AC.

- Ridiculous.
- Okay, okay.

(doorbell rings)

Oh, Jesus, Jesus.

- (knocking at door)
- Hang on, I'm coming.

- See? I told you it wasn't a prank.
- I thought it was a prank.

Well, it's a party, but it's in an hour.

- Don Jacobson. Not a fan.
- Hey.

- Where's the bathroom?
- Down the hall on the right.

Feed the good.

Hi, hello, welcome.

Did you hear what that dude said?

He's just being honest;
you have to like it.

All right, well, since they're here,
I'm gonna go get some ice.

No, no, no. What are you, the ice man?

(upbeat music)

(indistinct conversation)

(

Hey.

You moved the mugs.
Why'd you move the mugs?

No, I didn't move them.
Sheila adjust them.

But I think I'm getting used to it.

And that's cool; it makes her happy.

Right.

And you're happy too, right?

I love Chipotle. I was one of
the first people to eat there.

- That's interesting. Do you need ice?
- No, no.

It's very authentic. I even think
the food poisoning problems

are part of them keeping it aut?ntico.

Okay, I'm gonna get ice. Excuse me.

(

Hey, Olly, what's happening?

I am ready to work this Hollywood party.

- Work?
- I'm gonna tweet the hell out of it.

- Tweet?
- Is this a Hollywood party?

- No.
- Is anyone here?

Um, Bobbie, Joelle, and Stephen.

- Ooh, Spielberg?
- Not even close.

Oh, just regular folks, then.

Well, that's okay. Regular folks
like that kind of stuff. I'm on it.

- You're gonna be up all night.
- Maybe.

- Okay, not here, though.
- Relax.

I filled it halfway with vodka.

It's a trick I learned to
get me through high school

and into Princeton.
The vodka calms me down,

but the Red Bull builds me back up
so I can focus and do the job.

I love Sheila. She's super photogenic.

- I didn't know you two were so serious.
- We're not serious.

I just sometimes hold her hand.

So these are your neighbors, huh?

- Yeah, why?
- Kind of nosy, don't you think?

What's that dude doing?

George, you have to
meet Trish and Randy.

They live on the corner.

- Are you prepping for a role?
- No, why?

Oh, that beard/moustache
thing you've got going on.

- Really scary looking.
- I think he looks dashing.

How come you're not smiling?

I just thought you'd
be smiling and laughing.

You used to smile and laugh.

- I smile.
- Not like on TV.

George Lopez. Your house
looks bigger on the outside.

I thought big comedy man
have big comedy house.

Yeah, well, you know,
if you take my houses

and my ex-wife's houses
and put them together...

How big a Christmas
tree can you get in here?

Not even 10 feet.

8 feet max.

Yeah, ours are all 12
feet with room to spare.

We need to go.

Oh, my... hey, girls...
Hey, excuse me. Hey, hey, hey.

What's wrong with you guys?

Hey, pull that stuff over your
shoulders. Cover yourselves up.

Here, go in the laundry room.

What's going on?

Are you gonna tell them
to quit touching your stuff?

Don't change the subject.
What are you guys wearing?

A bikini. It's a pool party.

- It's not a pool party.
- It's a party, and you have a pool.

- What's the big deal, yo?
- Okay, yo.

You can't run around
the house half naked.

Wait a minute, Bethenny. Are you drunk?

I mean, I pregamed.

Erica said that you
weren't gonna let us drink.

No, Erica was right. Okay, so
now Erica, take your friend upstairs.

Put some clothes on,
seriously. Help her.

- Okay, bye.
- Man. Hold her up.

She's not gonna make it
on the stairs. Come on.

So the Japanese invented teacups,

but I think the British perfected them.

Boy, it seems that's the way
it works with everything, right?

I mean, white man's burden, you know?

Oh, yeah, white man's burden.
I don't envy you guys.

You know, party's winding down.

Let me make sure you leave.

Hey, hey, you're good for him.
You soften up his edges.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

- Thank you, Stephen.
- Oh, you took her there.

Thanks. All right.

See, George? It's working.

- Yes, you were right.
- Yes.

- Good night.
- Hey, so...

Hard to say it was fun, but have a
good time walking home, all right?

(laughs)

G Lo, G Lo, G Lo, you ready to party?

- This is nice, man.
- It's kind of over.

It's a little neighborhood party.

I brought my own white
people. It ain't over, man.

It's just a neighborhood little
thing that's winding down.

Oh, you can't wind down.
You can't stop a party at 10:00.

That's a block watch meeting.
We gonna party all night long.

No, wait. What... what's going on?
Hey, wait a minute, everybody.

- What's your name, man?
- Stephen.

- Stephen?
- Yeah, I'm Stephen.

What you doing here? Hey,
everybody, you guys already left.

The party was over.
You guys already said good-bye.

It would be rude for you guys to stay.

Arsenio Hall! You know Arsenio Hall!

(indistinct conversation)

(upbeat music)

(

- Arsenio knows how to throw a party.
- He's very energetic.

- Come on, George, let's dance.
- Oh, no, I don't think

people should dance in the
house. I'm superstitious.

- But you go ahead. Go ahead, have fun.
- Okay.

- Dad?
- What?

We have a problem.

At least she didn't
throw up in the Jacuzzi.

- Oh, man, is she all right?
- Just some bad decisions.

Okay, so call Uber, and let's
get her drunk ass home.

- Go.
- Okay.

Private plane, more money than
I've ever made in one hour,

and I'm home in my
bed at 3:00 a.m., man.

Shut up.

Yo, jefe, what's up? I heard
Arsenio was in the building.

How did you find out about Arsenio?

Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat.

See? I'm working for you.
We're getting it all out there.

Super solid inviting Arsenio.

- Super solid. Are you...
- Whoa.

- Wait, are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm great.

And if I don't pass
out, I might just go home

with somebody I just met tonight.

- I don't want to know that.
- Of course, yeah.

Because that is why I
am all about business

all of the time, 24 of the 7.

- Where's my phone?
- It's in your hand.

No.

This is the phone I do business with.

Okay, business. Hey, what's going
on with the Vegas residency?

You haven't said anything in two weeks.

Vegas is just doing their due diligence,

but I'm optimistic, and
so you should be too.

- Relax. Enjoy your party.
- Are you kidding? I'm over this party.

I just had to put a drunk
teenage girl in an Uber.

- Oh, my God. What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.

Why do you always think I do something?

Wait a minute. You're my manager.
You're supposed to be on my team.

I am on your team. It's just
my job to think the worst

and then be happy when it's
not true. Yay, Team George.

Don't look now. Well, look now.

That's the guy.

- What?
- I think.

It's hard, because he and his
friends all wore the same thing.

Hey, listen, listen.
I want to say I'm sorry.

I should have suspected the
Sadims before I suspected you.

Oh, so now the Sadims
stole your air conditioner.

Yeah, probably halfway to Dubai by now.

(laughs)

It's... I just know
that you didn't do it.

You know, you're not that kind of guy.

- Hey, I'm gonna be honest with you.
- Don't, no.

When you first moved in, I was all like,

"Oh, first the Jews, then the blacks,

and then the moving company

left a Hispanish fellow
behind or something," you know?

- I mean...
- Yeah, listen, man.

You moved in after me,

and we prefer Latino
when we're being insulted.

I'm not sure what the other
groups like to be called.

No, no, yeah, yeah. I had it all wrong.

I mean, you helped me see.

Listen, Arsenio is... is... is black.

Bobbie and Joelle, Jew.

Jews. I mean, Joelle
is kind of annoying,

but Bobbie, she's all right.

Speaking of great racks,
Scarlett Johansson... Jew!

What? What?

How did that happen, you know?

You know, when people are
being racially insensitive,

they usually do it at
a much lower volume.

- Okay.
- All right.

My man and my neighbor getting along.

- How great is this?
- Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

(chuckles) We'll have to
talk about that later.

You know, we have to have you and
your wife over for dinner, okay?

- Aww.
- How about that, hmm?

Yeah, that would be awesome.

Hey, hey, hey, can Arsenio come?

- Oh, sure.
- Should we ask Arsen...

- I'll ask Arsenio.
- Okay, great.

- Is there a Mrs. Arsenio?
- If there is, she's invited.

- All right.
- Yeah.

I mean, really? Listen, I don't
want to have dinner with Stephen

or Mrs. Arsenio or anybody.

I just want people to
get out of my house.

When are people gonna start to leave?

Jefe, Arsenio likes one of my songs.

You have a piano tuner?

- What?
- Hey, Manolo, Manolo.

Never mind. Arsenio can tune by ear.

- Great, come on.
- Never mind, jefe. Thanks.

George, this is a great party,
and I'm gonna enjoy it, okay?

Oh, Jesus!

(

Hey, dad. Thanks for helping
me for Bethenny earlier.

- Did she live?
- What a wreck.

Jefe, Arsenio says we're out of ice.
Want me to go get some?

Wait, he wants ice?
Okay, I got it. No, no. Okay.

Don't stay up too late.

(

Okay, repeat after me.

- Swadoo-do-badoo.
- Swadoo-do-badoo.

- Swadoo-do-badoo.
- Swadoo-do-badoo.

- Ba-ba-boo-boop.
- Ba-ba-boo...

- Ba-ba-boo-boop.
- Ba-ba-boo-boop.

Doo-bop. Go way down low.

- Ba-doop.
- Wa-doop.

- See-da-doo-da-bop.
- See-da-doo-da-bop.

Ba-doop, Ba-doop.

- Ba-doop, Ba-doop.
- Ba-doop.

(sirens wailing)

- Popo.
- Popo. Popopopo...

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop. That's the police.

Oh, oh, the police.

Popo is the police.

Oh, my god!

Everybody get out.
Shh. Everybody get out.

(indistinct conversation)

Get out, it's the police.

- We got a noise complaint call.
- Uh, you heard the officer.

Everybody has to go.

Who would call and complain? I mean,
the whole neighborhood is here.

- Well, Mrs. Lopez...
- No, no.

Sheila.

We came over quick
because the complaint call

came from the house landline.

- From inside the house?
- You never know with these calls.

We could have had a hostage situation.

No, it wasn't a hostage situation.

I'm pretty sure it was
a Dean Martin situation.

Seriously? Dean goddamn
Martin? George...

- Wait a minute. Hold on.
- No, no, you hold on.

This is crazy. I mean,
I can't believe you would do this.

You know what? If you cared about me,

I would think that you would call.

- I would call the cops?
- You saw that I was miserable.

You knew I didn't want to have a party.

You wouldn't leave me alone,
like in "Godfather III."

Every time I thought I was
out, you pulled me back in.

This is a neighborhood
party, not the mob, okay?

- I can't believe you would do this.
- Okay, I didn't even make the call.

Mr. Lopez, if this was
some sort of a prank or joke,

the person who made the call
could be in some trouble,

but we'll go back and check
the voice recordings at dispatch

and find out who it is.

I didn't know you had a voice recording.

I made the call. I'm sorry.
I was having a party.

I... you know, I'm afraid
of social interaction.

I lost control of it. I didn't know
what to do, so I'll pay you the fine

if there's a fine. I know that the
police do charitable things...

- Toys for Tots.
- I'm in.

I'll write a big check, okay?

Okay, thank you. Good night, officers.

You know, I can get
past the kidney thing

and the passing out in the casino

and whatever happened or didn't
happen with that Twitter woman,

but calling the cops on
your own party, our party?

I... I'm done. Done.

Okay, well, I'll make
sure you get your books.

Well, I'm gonna bounce, jefe.
I got her blocked in.

Thank you.

Weren't you happy when
you heard the sirens?

Oh, I was very happy.

- And thanks for not turning me in.
- Never.

I mean, I'm sorry about Sheila.

No, Sheila.

I mean, beautiful and caring, loving.

I mean, I probably would have stayed
with her. You know, fallen in love.

Maybe married her,

gotten sick, needed a kidney,
gotten divorced, lost houses

and, you know, divide everything up.

Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

Repair and Synchronization by
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