Original subtitles

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com

Come on, Reggie!

We are building a rocket engine, and you put the gimbal block in upside down.

Don't you know anything about gimbal blocks?

No, I don't.

And I'm sick of doing science.

I want to stop.

Stop? When I'm this close to perfecting the invention

that will forever change the way man lives on this planet?

(Sighs) Hate to break it to you, Dr. P,

but someone's already invented the shoe.

This is not just a shoe.

This is a rocket shoe.

Lace these babies up, and they can take you to the moon.

I don't know how you're gonna get back, but I'm working on a sock for that.

I'm all scienced out.

Can't we just do something regular, like dig

a hole or drop some sticks down the sewer?

Look, when we're at your house, we do what you want.

So when we're at my house, we do what I want.

But we're never at my house.

Because we'd have to do what you want!

I have a pool and a trampoline.

What's wrong with you?

Those are toys for kids!

We are scientists!

Scientists were kids before they were scientists.

Hey!

Do either of you guys want to play basketball?

- No! - Yes!

Yes!

With Willow spending all of her time rehearsing with Liv and the band,

and Diggie, you know...

Being a heartbreaking jerk-face,

I really haven't had anyone to shoot hoops with.

Reggie's as good a victim as anyone.

What? We've already been through this.

When we're at my house...

but when we're at Maddie's house,

we do what Maddie wants.

Seriously? You're choosing my sister over me?

It's not you, Dr. P, it's me.

And me is sick of you.

Oh!

Better in stereo

B-b-better in stereo

I'm up with the sunshine

I lace up my high-tops

Slam dunk, ready or not

Yeah, show me what you got

I'm under the spotlight

I dare you, come on and follow

You dance to your own beat

I'll sing the melody

When you say yeah, I'll say no

When you say stop

All I wanna do is go, go, go

You, you, the other half of me, me

The half I'll never be-e

The half that drives me crazy

You, you, the better half of me, me

The half I'll always need

And we both know

We're better in stereo

Liv!

Andie!

Why are we bouncing?

I'm just so excited to tell you about my date with Holden last night.

Date recap!

Spill.

Look at me, talking to my good friend

about the date she went on with the guy I like.

All kinds of mature.

(Sighs)

You know, if I'm ever gonna win an Oscar,

it's going to be for best supporting friend.

Holden picked me up, and we drove to the observatory.

When we got there, he surprised me with a picnic!

No!

Oh! This is so romantic.

Yeah, you'd think, but once you finish the potato salad,

there's, like, nothing really to do.

So, I took him down to the track where my brother was racing!

Okay, wait, but...

Why would you leave a beautiful picnic at the observatory

to watch cars drive in the mud?

Holden asked me the same question, like, several times.

But we weren't just watching.

- (Giddy laugh) - We were down in the pit

right next to the roar of engines.

(Shouting) Hey, guys! What's up?

Um... Holden, you're kinda yelling.

What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you!

My hearing's shot from last night.

That happens the first couple times you go to the track.

Are you talking right now? I can't really tell!

There's Willow.

Gotta go tell her about our magical evening!

Did she say "magical" or "tragical?"

Because it was extremely tragical.

Um, Andie told me she had a really great time with you last night.

(Regular voice) I know.

I'm beginning to think we don't really have that much in common...

You know, other than you.

(Laughs nervously)

Yes, that's me.

The common denominator.

Just... Friend to all.

Guys!

Our band just booked a gig!

The dream is gonna be on TV!

Oh! This is so awesome! What show?

Nimbus at night.

Oh! This is so awesome!

What is that?

Oh, it's Johnny Nimbus' new late night talk show.

There's a live studio audience, and everyone in town's gonna be watching

because it airs right before the crop report.

(Gasps) This is so cool!

That's awesome!

(Shouting) I have no idea what Willow said, but you guys look really happy.

Stupid curtain!

I'm in no mood, people.

Let's just get on with it and run through the parrot bit.

(Bell rings)

Unique New York. Unique New York. Unique New York.

Hello, Stevens point!

It's your old pal Johnny Nimbus,

and I am happy to say it's time for "parrot pet peeves."

That's where I debate the hot-button issues of the day

with everybody's favorite parrot, joanne squawkers.

Hey, joanne.

What are we squawking about, Johnny?

Well, today's topic is... animals!

Should they be allowed to vote?

I say yes!

(Squawks) And they say I'm the birdbrain.

Oh. Ha ha.

- You know what? - What?

I can't do this.

I have a degree from Harvard.

Harvard!

(Bell rings)

Well, this is bad!

Where are we going to find a lady

with a squeaky enough voice to be the parrot?

Excuse me. Excuse me, man who lifts things.

Do you know where the men's room is?

I am interning at Nimbus at night

so I look more well-rounded on my college application.

Right now, all I can list is a failed attempt at jv badminton

and an enviable collection of kitty-cat t-shirts.

Meow.

Joey Rooney!

Your squeaky, half-girl voice just earned you a promotion, young man.

How would you like to be the voice of joanne squawkers?

Now, there's no money, no health insurance, no recognition...

Mr. Nimbus, you can stop the hard sell because I am in!

I am the voice of a lady parrot.

My college app is looking better and better!

So, joanne, how do you think a rhinoceros would vote?

I have no idea, Johnny, but I know how he pays for dinner.

He charges.

(Laughs)

Ha ha!

I like that.

You don't have to tell me, Johnny.

I know it's great.

Come on. Come at me.

Oh, yes!

What's that thing you say?

All right! Bam what?

Ha ha.

(Sighs) You're really cute, but...

Don't push it.

Oh!

Just apologize to Reggie.

Absolutely not, mother.

I still have my pride.

(Chuckles) Well, fine.

While you're standing at the sink, you and your pride can wash some dishes.

You know, pride is overrated.

I'll just go apologize.

Hi, Reggie.

Oh. Hey there...

Maddie's little brother.

Okay, that stung, but I had it coming.

Reggie, I'm sorry.

Whoo! Weight lifted, bridges mended, and we're friends again!

Now let's build us some rocket shoes!

Wow. Way to totally phone in that apology, little bro.

It doesn't matter. It was sent direct to voice-mail.

Ooh!

Hey, want to play another game?

Oh! Someone who cares what I want.

How refreshing.

Oh!

He's mine now.

(Piano melody)

If I could do it all over

maybe I'd do it different

- (Crash) - Oh!

(Laughs nervously)

Hey.

Hmm. Uh, what are you doing?

Well, I was working on something that I thought

that we could play on Nimbus at night.

Hmm.

I couldn't get that song that you sang at prom out of my head.

Oh. (Chuckles)

He means "true love."

Right. The song that reminds me

that my good friend is dating the guy that I like.

Yeah, I can't really seem to get that out of my head either.

I was playing around with the melody a little bit.

So just let me know what you think.

Okay.

(Piano melody)

If I could do it all over

maybe I'd do it different

maybe I wouldn't be here

in this position

I found you then I lost you

looking back is torture

and it hurts to know I let you go

you live right around the corner

Both: and I could have had it all, could have had it all

true love, I know I had it

true love was so hard to find

true love, if I could get it back

I'd never let it go this time

true love

is an inspiration

true love

it was mine all mine

true love

yeah

I'd never let it go

I'd never let it go

(Both) I'd never let it go this time

- Whoa! - Oh!

What's going on in here?

- Um... - Yeah, what's going on in here?

That duet sounds amazing!

We have to do it on Nimbus at night.

Yeah, I'm not sure we want to go down that road.

No, it's killer.

Let's work on an arrangement.

Tell you what, you and Holden work out the song as a couple.

Liv and I will just work on some vocal exercises.

Okay, try this.

(Scale) no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No!

Maddie, you have to fix this.

I just caught Liv and Holden singing to each other all lovey-dovey.

I swear there were cartoon hearts and unicorns circling their heads!

Liv, is that true?

I don't know.

(Scoffs)

Maybe there was, like, one unicorn.

There were multiple unicorns.

Okay.

Fine.

Holden and I had...

A romantic moment,

and it was really intense.

(Sighs) I don't know, guys.

I really thought that I had swept this crush

that I have on Holden under a rug.

But now there's just this big, dusty, like...

Rug bump of feelings.

Then you take that rug out and you beat it with a stick!

Okay. So I think we all just need to calm down a little bit.

Mostly Willow should calm down.

I just have to shut those feelings down for good, that's all.

It's open season on unicorns.

Okay, you, like, seriously need to dial it down.

I know.

(Cheers and applause)

(Laughing) This is great.

Okay, next topic. Pie versus cake.

Which one is better?

I stand in the corner of cake.

Joanne, give me a slice of your opinion.

Squawk!

Cake is the most overrated of all the desserts.

(Audience groans)

Anyone with half a brain knows that pie is better than cake.

Squawk!

Joanne squawkers, if pie was better, you'd have it at birthday parties.

Have you ever heard of a birthday pie?

I don't think so!

You just got nim-busted!

(Bell dings)

(Applause)

Nimbus: Now, we all know...

Hey.

Hi.

I really think that we need to talk abut what happened.

Yeah, I've been thinking about it.

- Okay. - Thinking about what?

Uh, uh...

Just thinking about...

Blowing the roof off this place!

(Imitates explosion)

(Liv laughs nervously)

But, you know, it's just gonna be so tough

- following joanne squawkers. - Yeah.

Good talk, miss squawk.

Hey, folks, we'll be right back with local rock sensation the dream!

Right here on Nimbus... At night.

(Applause)

Oh!

I win again, Reginald.

How does that feel, huh?

Does it burn?

I think I see why nobody wants to play with you.

You Rooneys are intense.

(Scoffs)

What are you doing?

Uhh...

The dishes.

(Band playing, applause)

Welcome back, Stevens point!

Boy, do I have a treat for you.

Joining me here tonight is the winner of this year's battle of the bands,

the dream!

(Cheers and applause)

Hi!

Gimme some! All right!

Hey!

Welcome to the show, guys.

Thank you. Thank you so much for having us.

Now, Liv Rooney, you're kind of a big deal.

Some would even say you're the Johnny Nimbus of Hollywood.

(Laughs) Aw.

No one's ever said that, Johnny.

Ha ha! Give it time, kid, you'll get there.

Now, my sources tell me there is a couple in this band.

(Audience gasps)

Liv, Holden, how long have you been deeply in love?

(Laughs)

(Laughs)

Actually...

Actually... Johnny, Holden and I are the couple.

And don't they make a great one?

They do!

Come on, Stevens point, put your hands together for Holden and Andie.

Handie!

Hey!

You know, old Johnny cupid should have said something there,

'cause I can tell Andie is one smitten kitten.

Guilty.

How about you, Holden?

Are you as smitten as this kitten?

Um...

She's a great... Gal.

Great gal?

How about "light of your life,"

or "apple of your eye," or "one and only"?

Or stop me when you hear one you like.

I'm not sure I want to talk about this on TV.

It's okay, Holden. I don't mind.

Um...

Well, uh...

Why are you being so weird?

Seriously.

I haven't had a conversation this awkward

since my first wife told me she needed a break.

(Laughs nervously)

Is that what's going on?

Holden, are you...

Are you breaking up with me?

Andie, I'm sorry.

I didn't want to tell you like this.

Wow.

Andie.

I-I gotta go.

Don't worry, Mr. Nimbus.

This may be my only chance to be on TV.

I'm not going anywhere.

(Band playing, applause)

Ha! Oh, welcome back, Stevens point.

Well, this was the part of the show where our musical guests, the dream,

was supposed to perform.

Squawk! But they're all gone!

This show's a disaster!

Squawk!

Joanne squawkers, don't be so negative.

We still got Willow here.

She'll sing for us, won't you, Willow?

What? No, I can't sing by myself.

Well, fine. We'll have Joey sing with you.

- Come up, Joey. - Joey?

Joey. Joe...

- Joey! - What?

I mean...

No

Joey? You're the parrot?

I don't want to freak you out, but I had this exact scenario on my vision board.

Everything's coming up Willow!

(Both) could have had it all, could have had it all

(Off key) but true love

(Off key) I know I had it

(Both) true love was so hard to find

true love

if I could get it back

I'd never let it go

this time

Oh, honey.

I saw the show. How's Andie?

Um...

I was actually just with her.

You know, she's pretty upset, but I think she's gonna be okay.

She went to the scrapyard and welded three minivans into a monster truck.

Well, that's good.

The blowtorch does seem to soothe her.

- (Doorbell rings) - I got it.

Holden.

I need to talk to you.

I'll give you guys some privacy.

What were you thinking?

How could you do that to Andie?

I never meant for it to happen like that.

I was gonna break it off with her after the show,

but when Nimbus put me on the spot...

I couldn't lie.

I have feelings for someone else.

- Holden... - Let me finish.

When I first moved back home, I felt something between you and me.

But I wasn't really sure how you were feeling.

And then Andie asked me to prom,

and she's...

Great.

But the more time I spent with her, the more I realized...

She's not the one for me.

Liv...

I like you.

Holden, I really like you, too.

And you're a really great guy.

But...

But...

But you know I can't date you.

I mean, Andie's my friend, and she's hurting a lot right now,

and I'm not just gonna hurt her more, you know?

Friends don't do that to each other.

I'm sorry.

I understand.

Okay.

Okay.

(Door closes)

Now, I'm not going to lie.

I listened to that entire conversation.

I am so sorry, sweetie.

Did I do the right thing?

- You did. - Okay.

You're a good friend.

Oh.

It's 10 to 10.

Next basket wins.

Are you hearing me?

(Shouting) Are you hearing me?

Whoa. And I thought Parker was crazy-pants.

- Uh, Reggie needs a timeout. - You don't speak for me!

I need a timeout.

Still like playing with my sister?

Dude, all she does is scream in my face.

Well, I've got a way for you to beat her.

I'm all ears, Dr. P. I'll do science. I'll do math.

Just please, help me take that crazy woman down.

Behold.

The rocket shoe.

(Dramatic music plays)

You're not getting past me, tiny.

Come on.

I don't have to, 'cause I'm going over you.

(Beep)

(Grunts)

We did it, Dr. P! I win!

Aagghh!

Okay, but you cheated.

There are no rocket shoes in basketball.

Too bad. So sad.

Let's go dig a hole, Reggie.

You make my heart cry, Dr. P.

(Beep)

Joey: Squawk!

(Boing)

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