Original subtitles

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com

Is it just me or is the new kid in robotics class driving you crazy?

New kid coming through!

I recently got moved from regular science at my school

up to advanced high school robotics.

I don't mean to brag, but if you don't toot your own horn,

no one else will, unless you build a horn-tooting robot.

- (Gears shift) - (Horn toots)

Oh, wait,

- I already did. - (Toots)

Way to crash and burn on that hydraulics question, munch.

Which one of us is in fifth grade?

(Scoffs)

I knew the answer. I was just...

Distracted.

By Alex, (high pitched)

your girlfriend!

I wish she was my girlfriend.

And by the way, in high school, liking a girl...

not an insult, even if you sing-song it.

It is if she doesn't know you're... (High pitched) alive.

Zip it. Here comes Alex.

I could sit around of course if I did, there'd be no time for algorithms.

And what fun is that?

Hey, do me a favor.

Go up to Alex and ask if she has a partner

for the remote controlled drone project.

Why?

Because if she's my partner, she'll be forced to spend a ton of

time with me and I can trick her into accidentally liking me.

No, I meant why would I help you?

Because I have access to your bare bottom baby

pictures and I am not afraid to use them.

Okay, fine, I'll help.

But for the record, I have an adorable little tush.

Ha, well, maybe having Parker around wasn't such a bad thing.

He could be my bomb sniffing puppy

for the minefield that is high school girls.

Aw, bad news, dude.

She's got a partner.

- Oh, who? - I'll give you a hint.

He's got two thumbs and an adorable tush.

This guy!

(Theme music plays)

Better in stereo

b... b... better in stereo

- I'm up with the sunshine

- Let's go

- I lace up my high tops

- Oh no

- slam dunk

- Ready or not

yeah, show me what you got

- I'm under the spotlight

- Holler

I dare you, come on and follow

you dance to your own beat

I'll sing the melody

when you say yea-ah-ah

I say no-oh-oh

when you say stop

all I want to do is go, go, go

you, you, the other half of me, me

the half I'll never be-e

the half that drives me crazy

you, you, the better half of me, me

the half I'll always need

but we both know

we're better in stereo.

Good news!

Liv has finally found the movie she wants to do

to follow up "Space Werewolves."

(Southern accent ) Fiddle-dee-dee,

I'm fixin' to play a Southern Belle, y'all.

She is a refined, civilized lady.

Ooh.

Oh, oh, oh.

And that is how a lady takes a tumble.

- Oh. - Oh...

What's with the grandma dress?

Or we could ask her if she's okay.

Whoo! I am as sturdy as a peach pit, daddy.

See, she's fine.

Now, what's with the old lady getup?

She is just getting into character, Joey.

Her manager, Becky Bicklehoff, is dropping off the script of "Southern Hoops."

"Southern Hoops" is shooting in Chicago.

I mean, that's only a few hours away.

I wouldn't even have to move.

I could be here on the weekends.

- (doorbell rings) - Oh!

(Southern accent) Why, that must be Becky now.

Kindly hush your vocalities in the parlor.

Oh, um...

- I got it, I got it. - Just slide to the side.

You're making me uncomfortable.

- ...diagonal. - I got it.

Maybe... you know what? I think get... wait.

- Yeah, whoo. - Okay.

Careful now.

(Both squeal)

There's my little Liv-sicle.

(Squeals)

(Southern accent) Why, miss Becky, it is our privilege

to welcome you to our humble home.

Look at you in your folksy Wisconsin garb.

Um, Wisconsin garb?

No, Becky, I'm wearing a hoop skirt,

like the Southern Belles in "Southern Hoops."

Liv, there are no Southern Belles in "Southern Hoops."

(Nervous laughter)

Well, butter my behind and call me a biscuit.

It's about a basketball team.

Basketball?!

Becky: Liv, the script is great!

It's the true story of Holly Bell the scrappy underdog

who single-handedly led her school to the state championships!

(Nervous laughter)

Ha, any chance that scrappy underdog is an actual dog?

'Cause Liv's gonna have a better chance

of pulling that off than playing basketball.

Now, ain't that the truth, suga'?

Alex, I'm glad we're partners.

You make me want to be a better robot maker.

I'm glad too.

If I chose to tap into human emotions, which I do not.

Got it.

Full disclosure, I'm sometimes fueled

by a inner seething cauldron of rage!

But, you know, the good kind.

Hello, fellow roboticists.

I thought you might enjoy some pics of your partner as a baby during tubby time.

That is an aesthetically sound tush.

Told you. I got nothing to hide.

Shall we proceed with the aerodynamics test?

You lack the appropriate security clearance.

What a woman! (Chuckles)

I've always wanted to date a robot.

And Alex is the closest thing I can get in this decade.

Oh, Joey.

I found you the perfect suit at the thrift shop.

Thrift shop?!

Were they all out of suits at the dump?

Trust me. It's really nice.

And you'll need it for my "vice principal swearing in" ceremony.

They don't do a swearing in for the vice principal.

They do now...

By order of the new vice principal.

Yeah, mom, I don't want to wear some dead guy's suit.

Well, I'm sure he's not too happy about the arrangement either.

Who knows?

Will give some extra confidence to my little stinker.

Well, maybe retiring "little stinker" might boost my confidence.

It's a little damp.

Did they bury him in this thing?

Remember to do the calculations in Kelvin.

Whoa.

Pulse quickening, eyes dilated, (rapid inhale) shortness of breath.

Either I just got the flu or...

(Nervous giggling)

You look good, Joey.

The pleasure's all mine, Alejandra.

(Giggles)

Oh, my.

Okay, bye.

I'll see you later. You know, tomorrow...

(Giggling)

Whoa. (Chuckles)

It's got to be the suit. Give me the dead-guy pants.

Okay.

Ugh! Becky, "Southern Hoops" is such a great script!

I want to play this character so badly.

But every actress in Hollywood

must be like lining up for this part, right?

They are, but "Southern Hoops" wants you.

All we have to do is show

the producers you can play!

So awesome basketball stuff... (Clicks tongue)

Go.

Yeah, okay.

There's gonna be some awesome basketball-y stuff coming to you.

(Mouths)

(Breathes deeply)

Oh! Not the face!

What was that?

I told the studio you could play, that I'd seen the trophies.

You led your team to the state fin...

(Trails off, sobs)

It was the other twin, wasn't it?

Lucky for you, you have a highly decorated basketball coach at your disposal.

You really think you can teach her to play basketball by tomorrow?

The producers are waiting.

If I can't do it, no one can do it.

No one can do it.

There's that snowboard movie shooting in Milwaukee.

Anybody can fake that. I'm calling them.

No, no, no, no, no.

Wait, I really want to do "Southern Hoops."

Maddie: Yeah, sure.

Have the injured girl who literally just got back

from physical therapy take out the garbage, cool.

Bam! What? (Snickers)

Hey, sis.

(Giggles)

Um, so remember all those times that you asked me

if you could teach me to how to play basketball,

like all those times that you said that to me?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I never said that.

Well, let's pretend you did, yay.

(Laughs) Liv, why do you want to learn how

to play basketball all of a sudden?

Because, Maddie, they're making this really incredible film.

It's the real-life story about a girl named Holly Bell.

(Gasping)

They're making the Holly Bell story into a movie?

The Holly Bell?!

Like the one who won MVP while also teaching

her mother how to read... Holly Bell?

(Gasps) I love Holly Bell.

I want to be Holly Bell.

If you play Holly Bell, that would be like...

like I'm Holly Bell.

Yeah, well, I can't be Holly Bell unless I can play basketball, so..

Well, then you have to let me teach you how to play basketball.

Ugh, fine, I guess we'll do whatever you want.

I can't wait to show everyone our awesome drone.

I wrote a program that allows it to drop a

cherry on a hot fudge sundae from 10,000 feet.

A cherry dropped from 10,000 feet would reach a velocity

powerful enough to shatter a human skull.

Awesome!

(Funky music plays)

- Joey, I... - Shh, shh, shh.

Let the electricity crackle.

Take a picture, kid, it'll last longer.

I am not saying that this suit is magic,

but I am saying that it makes me feel

like a more funk-tacular version of myself.

It is definitely magic!

(Nervous laughs) Hey, Joey.

Um, wow is my mouth dry.

(Sighs)

Hydrate your bad self.

Seriously! Who is this guy?

Seriously! Who am I?

So, um, do you want to, like, team up for the R.C. Drone project?

What? I thought we were partners!

Sounds like the lady's done babysitting, pal.

Here's the cab fare back to grade school.

Beat it.

See you in class, foxy genius!

(Funky music resumes)

That "cab fare" wasn't even cash.

It was a frozen yoghurt coupon!

Joey and that suit are going down.

Right after I finish this.

I never thought that I would utter these words,

but why exactly are we in a shoe store

and not on a basketball court?

Liv, you are not gonna master basketball in a day.

So we need to turn basketball

into something that you have already mastered.

Liv doesn't get this, but she speaks fluent...

This.

(Whistles)

Oh, no!

I love these shoes, but... (Snaps) I forgot my wallet.

- (Gasps) - I don't want anyone to get these.

What to do?

Ha, now no one will see them

until you get back with your wallet.

I call it the stash and dash.

(Liv laughs)

Why are we high-fiving?

That was a perfect jumper.

Oh, no.

Willow, a jumper is a dress.

Those were sandals and they were far from perfect.

(Laughs, snorts)

No, she means a jump shot.

And, seriously, your form...

Perfect.

- Oh, I did basketball! - Yes!

You sure did, Hollywood.

You guys are miracle workers.

- (Laughs) - Oh, I'm feeling this!

Okay, hand me another ball, size 7 1/2 with a low heel.

Come on.

- You want it? - Yeah.

- Come and get it! - What?

- Let's go, Rooney! Come on! - What?!

Show me what you got, Rooney!

I got you, huh? What?

Yes! Yes.

Whoo! Ha!

That was a steal.

Oh, no, honey.

Last season's style at full retail price is hardly a steal.

(Sighs)

Oh, you mean a basketball steal!

- (Laughs) - Oh, I'm getting this.

Oh, quick, Willow is stealing the last pair

of tolentinos from the door-buster rack.

- What are you gonna do? - (Gasps)

(Both mock gasps)

- Where're you gonna go? - I'm gonna take it.

- Huh? Huh? Huh? - It's gonna be mine.

Not in my house!

- Bam! - Uh, uh, uh.

That is still mine.

Come on, kid. Show 'em what you got.

You know what I got? What? What?

I got game!

(Mouths)

(Mouths)

Oh, yeah? Check this out.

What? Go, uh-huh!

Oh, over here. Over there.

Where am I? I'm over here now.

(Mouths)

Yeah, yeah.

Think Jennifer Lawrence can do this?

Probably.

But that was amazing.

I'm sending this to the studio right now.

- This makes me so happy... - Yay!

I want to tattoo your face on my face.

Question, for the confetti for my swearing in ceremony,

instead of school colors should we go with red, white, and blue?

I don't know. Are you vice principal of the United States?

Liv! Great news!

You got the part.

(Cheers) Yes!

Oh, this is huge!

I get a juicy role in a great film and I don't even have to move away from home.

Well, about that.

They aren't filming in Chicago anymore.

They're filming in R-r-r-omania.

R-r-r-omania?!

R-r-r-omania?!

R-r-r-r-r-omania?!

I know you'll have to move away from home again, but it's the role of a lifetime.

(Sighs)

Liv's gonna leave again?!

She just got here.

Ugh! Why do I have to be such a great coach?

R-l-r-l-r-omania?!

Sorry, I'm a little behind.

'Ey!

Hey, looking good, bro'.

I can see why Alex chose you over me.

No hard feelings? Hug it out?

Not too hard.

Don't want to wrinkle the suit.

Joey's forgetting two things.

One, I'm smart enough to be in high school robotics.

And two, he's dumb enough to hang his suit where I can get it.

I'm glad you learned your lesson.

Now, I'm gonna go find my lady.

Watch me work, son.

(Funky music plays)

(Laughter)

(Laughs)

(Laughs)

(Clears throat gruffly)

Hello.

Morning, girl.

Your man has arrived.

Drink it in.

You wear cat underwear?

It's like you see right into my soul.

No, I just see your underwear.

What?

And so does the rest of the school!

(Mimics explosion)

You ruined my magic suit!

Hey, you started this tush war!

(Both whining)

Does anyone need a robotics partner?

I will literally take anyone!

Both: Alex!

I don't know about you, but I really learned something today.

That self-confidence doesn't come from a suit.

Nope!

That kitty underpants go with just about everything.

(Sighing)

Hi. So, um...

I have made my decision.

It has not been easy, but, um, I think I know what I need to do.

I mean, this, after all, is a really great part.

- (Sighs) - Becky: Yes!

And you're a movie star now.

And we need to build on the momentum

of "Space Werewolves." You need to go.

Karen: Liv, honey, I want to say something.

So going away to Romania

is a much bigger deal than going to Chicago

or Los Angeles.

Honey, I think you should stay.

Surprise, mommy wants you to stay.

Karen.

Listen, honey, it's gonna be hard,

but this is a huge opportunity for Liv.

Honey, you got to follow your dreams.

We're gonna be okay.

We'll be okay.

Yeah.

Liv, I think that if...

This is something that you want, you need to do this.

And, yeah, I'm gonna miss you,

a lot. (Emotional laugh)

But we've dealt with being away from each other before.

And...

This is a chance of a lifetime for you.

I don't think you can pass this up.

Yeah, you're right, Maddie.

This is the chance of a lifetime.

This is my chance to be a teenager with my twin sister and my family.

I came home to Wisconsin for a reason

and it is the exact same reason

why I cannot do this film.

Wait, so does that mean you're staying?

- Yeah. - Ugh! Yes!

I was so lying before.

Oh, Liv, I don't want you to leave.

But, Liv, it's a really great script.

She said she's staying. She's staying.

And, Becky, there will be so many other great scripts.

Are you sure about this?

She's sure. She's sure.

And I can't leave now. I mean, especially now that

Maddie and I like the same after-school activity.

- What, basketball? - No.

Shoe shopping. Let's go!

(Whines) Why can't it be basketball?

...o'er the land of the free

(Vocalizes)

And the home

of the brave.

(Applause, cheering)

(Drone engine roars)

I love high school!

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