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1
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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:05,173
Oh, honey, don't slouch.
3
00:00:05,175 --> 00:00:06,842
- Oh.
- Okay.
4
00:00:06,844 --> 00:00:09,745
So the gal's gala is coming up.
5
00:00:09,747 --> 00:00:13,281
That means girls will be asking
boys to the dance all week.
6
00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:15,484
They're gonna be looking at
you like a steer at auction.
7
00:00:15,486 --> 00:00:17,953
Oh, honey, hold on a second.
8
00:00:17,955 --> 00:00:20,188
You've got an eyebrow hair out of place.
9
00:00:20,190 --> 00:00:23,959
Mother, I do not need
your help to be awkward.
10
00:00:23,961 --> 00:00:25,460
Oh, come on.
11
00:00:25,462 --> 00:00:30,198
I bet the girls are just lining up
to ask my dashing little love bug.
12
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:33,250
Mom!
13
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,770
I mean, (Clears throat)
14
00:00:34,772 --> 00:00:39,341
Don't touch my face creepy old
lady who I have never seen before.
15
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:41,943
Sorry.
16
00:00:41,945 --> 00:00:43,779
Old people like to touch my face.
17
00:00:43,781 --> 00:00:46,848
I have, like, super soft baby skin.
18
00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:48,250
(Laughs)
19
00:00:48,252 --> 00:00:49,518
Don't worry.
20
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,487
I've got a mom, too, love bug. (Giggles)
21
00:00:52,489 --> 00:00:55,791
(Giggles)
22
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:57,626
A cheerleader just talked to me, mom.
23
00:00:57,628 --> 00:01:00,228
Fix my other eyebrow.
24
00:01:00,230 --> 00:01:03,265
Okay, put this on and don't ask questions.
25
00:01:08,538 --> 00:01:10,872
Okay, press the button.
26
00:01:14,844 --> 00:01:16,611
(Sighs) Oh.
27
00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:17,879
Another satisfied customer.
28
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:19,347
(Laughs) Match-tastic!
29
00:01:20,483 --> 00:01:24,519
As Ridgewood High's premier matchmaker,
I am known as the queen of hearts.
30
00:01:24,521 --> 00:01:26,922
The motto is "let Liv let love live."
31
00:01:28,891 --> 00:01:29,958
- Hey, Liv?
- Yeah?
32
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,293
- Can we talk?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:31,295 --> 00:01:32,794
I need advice from the queen of hearts.
34
00:01:32,796 --> 00:01:35,764
Ah, let me guess... You want
to ask Joey to the dance?
35
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:36,832
How'd you know?
36
00:01:42,772 --> 00:01:44,272
Just a hunch.
37
00:01:44,274 --> 00:01:46,408
So will you help me?
38
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:49,845
(Sighs) Willow, your
taste in men baffles me,
39
00:01:49,847 --> 00:01:51,913
but your taste in
matchmakers is impeccable.
40
00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:56,284
So, the queen is going to get
Joey and Willow together.
41
00:01:56,286 --> 00:01:57,853
Jillow is about to be...
real-o.
42
00:01:57,855 --> 00:01:59,988
(Both giggle)
43
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:01,957
All hail the queen of hearts.
44
00:02:03,359 --> 00:02:04,993
I said all hail the queen!
45
00:02:07,363 --> 00:02:09,397
(Theme music playing)
46
00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:10,966
Better in stereo
47
00:02:10,968 --> 00:02:12,934
b... b... better
in stereo
48
00:02:12,936 --> 00:02:15,337
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
49
00:02:15,339 --> 00:02:17,506
-
I lace up my high tops
-
Oh no
50
00:02:17,508 --> 00:02:19,508
slam dunk, ready or not
51
00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:21,776
yeah, show me what you got
52
00:02:21,778 --> 00:02:23,912
-
I'm under the spotlight
-
Holler
53
00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:25,981
I dare you, come on and follow
54
00:02:25,983 --> 00:02:27,983
you dance to your own beat
55
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:29,851
I'll sing the melody
56
00:02:29,853 --> 00:02:31,987
when you
say yea-ah-ah
57
00:02:31,989 --> 00:02:34,356
I say
no-oh-oh
58
00:02:34,358 --> 00:02:36,625
when you say stop
59
00:02:36,627 --> 00:02:38,793
all I want to do is go go go
60
00:02:38,795 --> 00:02:41,863
you you, the other half of me me
61
00:02:41,865 --> 00:02:44,065
the half I'll never be-e
62
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:47,536
the half that drives me crazy
63
00:02:47,538 --> 00:02:50,705
you you, the better half of me me
64
00:02:50,707 --> 00:02:53,074
the half I'll always need
65
00:02:53,076 --> 00:02:54,809
but we both know
66
00:02:54,811 --> 00:02:57,078
we're better in stereo.
67
00:03:09,425 --> 00:03:10,825
Dude, what are you doing?
68
00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:12,928
I accidentally stepped on my cupcake.
69
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:15,630
Don't want to waste the frosting.
70
00:03:15,632 --> 00:03:17,933
That's so nasty.
71
00:03:17,935 --> 00:03:19,634
Want to taste?
72
00:03:19,636 --> 00:03:21,536
You know I do.
73
00:03:21,538 --> 00:03:23,538
Fall in, dragons.
74
00:03:24,674 --> 00:03:26,875
I went to this dojo
when I was Parker's age.
75
00:03:26,877 --> 00:03:29,744
Yeah, I actually made it to
the highest rank possible...
76
00:03:29,746 --> 00:03:31,713
"Iron Dragon."
77
00:03:31,715 --> 00:03:34,916
So, when his sensei made a pilgrimage
78
00:03:34,918 --> 00:03:37,953
out to her ancestral homeland
of Irvine, California,
79
00:03:37,955 --> 00:03:39,788
I volunteered to fill in.
80
00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:41,556
The dragon is back.
81
00:03:41,558 --> 00:03:44,693
Rawr!
82
00:03:44,695 --> 00:03:47,596
But, like, picture that
with, like, fire breath.
83
00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:48,930
Rawr!
84
00:03:49,865 --> 00:03:52,634
I am sensei Maddie.
85
00:03:53,869 --> 00:03:56,698
Due to injury, I will need
assistance demonstrating
86
00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:58,940
moves, so top dragon please step forward.
87
00:03:58,942 --> 00:04:02,744
Uh, we don't have a top dragon.
88
00:04:02,746 --> 00:04:04,613
But do you mean the snack captain?
89
00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:09,818
I guess dragon strike
martial arts has gone soft.
90
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:13,054
Without a top dragon, what
goal do you strive for?
91
00:04:13,056 --> 00:04:15,824
How will you learn the way of the dragon?
92
00:04:15,826 --> 00:04:17,085
What's the way of the dragon?
93
00:04:17,116 --> 00:04:18,994
Burn strong, strike fast, no defeat.
94
00:04:18,996 --> 00:04:25,500
Oh, yeah. That got changed to "smile
bright, hug hard, no owwies."
95
00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:27,602
- (Boys laugh)
- (Laughs mockingly)
96
00:04:27,604 --> 00:04:29,571
Unacceptable!
97
00:04:31,907 --> 00:04:35,844
Next class you will all fight each
other until we find the top dragon.
98
00:04:35,846 --> 00:04:40,815
Your last easy day was yesterday.
99
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:41,317
Rawr!
100
00:04:46,088 --> 00:04:49,958
But, like, picture that but
with, like, fire breath.
101
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:55,897
Joey Rooney.
102
00:04:55,899 --> 00:04:58,767
Behold my glorious face and see the
man who will be attending the dance
103
00:04:58,769 --> 00:05:01,069
with your sister on his arm.
104
00:05:01,071 --> 00:05:03,838
Future
brother-in-law. Burn!
105
00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:09,681
Has Liv actually asked
you to the gal's gala?
106
00:05:09,712 --> 00:05:11,046
A mere formality.
107
00:05:11,048 --> 00:05:13,481
I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.
108
00:05:13,483 --> 00:05:14,683
Why, what have you heard?
109
00:05:15,785 --> 00:05:18,520
Well, actually this
morning Liv was saying...
110
00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:21,256
Nothing about you!
111
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:22,857
(Laughs)
112
00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:24,993
Reeled you in and burned you. Burn!
113
00:05:25,928 --> 00:05:26,995
Yeah!
114
00:05:29,744 --> 00:05:30,865
You sure this is gonna work?
115
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:32,634
Yes, trust your queen.
116
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,770
Now fly, my chicken.
117
00:05:35,772 --> 00:05:37,939
Here comes Willow to ask me to the dance.
118
00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:40,041
Ba-bawk!
Ba-bawk!
119
00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:42,510
Ba-bawk!
Ba-bawk!
120
00:05:42,512 --> 00:05:44,879
Will you go to the gal's gala with me?
121
00:05:44,881 --> 00:05:46,147
Look, Willow...
122
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,718
(Rooster clucks, crows)
123
00:05:50,953 --> 00:05:52,554
She's asking me?!
124
00:05:52,556 --> 00:05:53,888
You're asking Artie?
125
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:56,024
She's asking Artie! (Laughs)
126
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:57,625
All part of the queen's plan.
127
00:05:57,627 --> 00:05:58,134
(Sighs)
128
00:05:58,165 --> 00:06:00,161
Joey would never have said yes to Willow
129
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:03,031
if she'd asked him and I also
knew that if she asked Artie,
130
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:06,534
Joey would get crazy jealous
and try to steal her back.
131
00:06:06,536 --> 00:06:09,637
Really, talking Willow into wearing
the chicken suit was just for me,
132
00:06:09,639 --> 00:06:12,240
but, hey, queen has to have a
little fun. (Clicks tongue)
133
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:15,243
Seriously?
134
00:06:15,245 --> 00:06:16,778
Artie?
135
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:18,580
I thought she was gonna ask me.
136
00:06:19,548 --> 00:06:20,882
I know.
137
00:06:20,884 --> 00:06:23,818
So super crazy weird, right?
138
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:26,287
- Yeah.
- I'm surprised, Willow.
139
00:06:26,289 --> 00:06:28,123
I thought you only had eyes for Joey.
140
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:30,925
I realized I was ba-bawking
up the wrong tree.
141
00:06:32,061 --> 00:06:33,928
S-so, wanna go?
142
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:36,865
Well, let me think.
143
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,566
Hmm. Shall I...
144
00:06:39,969 --> 00:06:42,070
Go to the dance with her?
145
00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:47,142
I guess my answer to
Willow is going to be...
146
00:06:47,144 --> 00:06:49,911
anyone want to jump in under the wire?
147
00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:51,946
In three, two, one...
148
00:06:51,948 --> 00:06:54,115
Zero... chance.
149
00:06:54,117 --> 00:06:55,850
(Deep inhale)
150
00:06:55,852 --> 00:06:57,752
Your loss.
151
00:06:58,821 --> 00:07:03,057
Lady Willow of West Stevens Point, I
cock-a-doodle do want to go with you.
152
00:07:05,995 --> 00:07:08,196
(Laughs)
153
00:07:08,198 --> 00:07:09,964
(Sighs)
154
00:07:09,966 --> 00:07:11,966
(Gasps)
155
00:07:11,968 --> 00:07:13,268
Yeah.
156
00:07:19,809 --> 00:07:21,142
- Fight!
- (Sharp inhale)
157
00:07:21,144 --> 00:07:22,277
(Grunts)
158
00:07:22,279 --> 00:07:23,278
- (Grunts)
- (Groans)
159
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:24,712
Boys: Ooh.
160
00:07:24,714 --> 00:07:25,713
- Ow!
- Ha!
161
00:07:25,715 --> 00:07:26,748
Point, Parker.
162
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:27,916
Now finish him.
163
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:28,883
Finish him? What do you mean?
164
00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:29,884
I already scored the...
165
00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:32,086
I said finish him!
166
00:07:36,659 --> 00:07:37,659
(Shouts)
167
00:07:37,661 --> 00:07:38,760
Maddie: Ah.
168
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,062
Victory to Parker!
169
00:07:41,997 --> 00:07:43,965
Sit on the bench of shame.
170
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:45,767
Go.
171
00:07:46,936 --> 00:07:50,738
Parker, you will fight Reggie
in the finals tomorrow.
172
00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:52,106
There are no friends...
173
00:07:52,108 --> 00:07:53,174
In this dojo.
174
00:07:56,946 --> 00:07:59,848
Dude, your sister's one mean dragon.
175
00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,182
I know.
176
00:08:01,184 --> 00:08:05,053
I don't mind punching a kid in the
gut, but not in the feelings.
177
00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:08,656
I'll go talk to her.
178
00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:11,726
Drop some psychology on her, Dr. P.
179
00:08:13,863 --> 00:08:15,063
- Hey, sis.
- Yeah?
180
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:18,299
I'm a big fan of humiliation and yelling,
181
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:20,835
but it's not the best way
to motivate the class.
182
00:08:20,837 --> 00:08:22,403
Oh.
183
00:08:22,405 --> 00:08:25,073
Wow. Okay.
184
00:08:25,075 --> 00:08:26,207
Never thought about it that way.
185
00:08:26,209 --> 00:08:28,776
(Chuckles) Thanks, little bro.
186
00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:34,015
All right, dragons, let's round
up for a little mat chat, yeah?
187
00:08:36,085 --> 00:08:37,785
So...
188
00:08:37,787 --> 00:08:39,787
Parker here has, um...
189
00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:41,823
Pointed out to me that
190
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:45,460
I might be a little too intense and
might need to lighten up a little bit,
191
00:08:45,462 --> 00:08:46,928
you think?
192
00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:49,030
Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen!
193
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,401
You've all been living
in a "no owwies" world.
194
00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:54,903
Well this world, is full of owwies.
195
00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:57,438
Yeah, and I am gonna toughen you up.
196
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,974
So, Parker and Reggie,
you're gonna face-off tomorrow
197
00:08:59,976 --> 00:09:03,878
until one of you drops, and the loser
will be banned from this class forever!
198
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:04,946
Dismissed.
199
00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:06,714
Banned?
You can't...
200
00:09:06,716 --> 00:09:09,150
I said... Dismissed.
201
00:09:11,086 --> 00:09:13,421
Rawr!
202
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:14,957
Wow.
203
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,255
She's not kidding about that dragon breath.
204
00:09:23,999 --> 00:09:26,167
Huh, what's going on here?
205
00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:30,271
My little strawberry shortcake
Artie is polishing my locker.
206
00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:31,439
Ugh.
207
00:09:31,441 --> 00:09:34,075
Welcome to the Artie party.
208
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:40,248
Oh.
209
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,016
What's this behind your ear?
210
00:09:46,055 --> 00:09:48,122
A rose for my rose.
211
00:09:49,258 --> 00:09:52,460
So, I told Willow that the more
she pretended to be into Artie,
212
00:09:52,462 --> 00:09:54,862
the more it would drive Joey crazy.
213
00:09:54,864 --> 00:09:58,900
I suppose it was a bit cruel to
make Artie a pawn in my plan,
214
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,869
but that is what he gets for
dressing as me for Halloween.
215
00:10:01,871 --> 00:10:05,540
Darling, we have to choose a
moniker for Artie and Willow.
216
00:10:05,542 --> 00:10:07,008
Which do you like better?
217
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:08,076
Wartie...
218
00:10:09,778 --> 00:10:11,079
Or... artillow?
219
00:10:12,514 --> 00:10:14,515
I can't choose.
220
00:10:14,517 --> 00:10:16,150
Joey, what do you think?
221
00:10:16,152 --> 00:10:19,988
Oh, well, I can't decide between
don't know, and don't care.
222
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,356
Joey: Ha.
223
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:24,025
Think I'll go with I don't kn-are.
224
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,363
How can he not kn-are
when I kn-are so much?
225
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:30,231
I don't want to be "wartie."
226
00:10:30,233 --> 00:10:32,300
I want to be "jillow."
227
00:10:36,005 --> 00:10:36,585
So...
228
00:10:36,616 --> 00:10:38,906
I guess you're not into Liv anymore?
229
00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:43,011
I've had what my mom refers
to as a moment of clarity.
230
00:10:43,013 --> 00:10:46,414
From now on, I'm only into
girls that are into me.
231
00:10:47,549 --> 00:10:50,551
Care to skip to class, my peach?
232
00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:53,187
Only if I get to hold
your small, clammy hand.
233
00:10:53,189 --> 00:10:55,256
- Ta-da!
- Ah!
234
00:11:01,563 --> 00:11:04,065
Joey: "Dance... with... Me?"
235
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,867
That's fun, Emily.
236
00:11:05,869 --> 00:11:07,368
Whoever your asking is a lucky guy.
237
00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,570
I'm asking you.
238
00:11:09,572 --> 00:11:11,472
Me?
239
00:11:11,474 --> 00:11:12,974
Why me? I mean...
240
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,143
(Clears throat) Yes.
241
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,249
Wow! Whoo!
242
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:24,085
A cute cheerleader asked me to the dance.
243
00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:25,086
(Giggles) Oh!
244
00:11:25,088 --> 00:11:27,288
This is the best day ever.
245
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:31,092
Even better than the day that I
completed my state quarters collection
246
00:11:31,094 --> 00:11:33,594
by finding the elusive Utah,
247
00:11:33,596 --> 00:11:38,032
which should give you some
idea of how excited I am.
248
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:43,971
And the fake leg is done.
249
00:11:43,973 --> 00:11:47,975
Maddie wants us to take each other
out, then we'll fake a gruesome fight.
250
00:11:47,977 --> 00:11:51,212
Parker: I'm not gonna let either
of us be banished from the dojo.
251
00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:52,613
(Sighs)
252
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:55,383
Quit eating the fake blood!
253
00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:57,385
I can't help it.
254
00:11:57,387 --> 00:12:00,421
You know I have a weakness
for strawberry preserves.
255
00:12:00,423 --> 00:12:02,924
Focus. This has to go perfectly.
256
00:12:02,926 --> 00:12:05,293
When Maddie sees me break your fake leg,
257
00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:08,062
we're gonna scare some
sense into that sensei.
258
00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:09,464
Hyah!
259
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,035
Ooh, that hurt my real leg.
260
00:12:17,306 --> 00:12:19,006
- (Doorbell rings)
- Ah.
261
00:12:21,677 --> 00:12:27,048
Hello, Emily, the cheerleader
that asked me to the gala.
262
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,516
Come in.
263
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:29,584
Hey, Joey.
264
00:12:29,586 --> 00:12:30,918
I brought this for you.
265
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:32,186
Oh.
266
00:12:32,188 --> 00:12:34,922
I wanted to say I'm super
excited about tonight.
267
00:12:34,924 --> 00:12:39,227
Oh, and could you meet me at the
bottom of the stairs at exactly 8:02?
268
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,561
Yeah, yeah, whatever you want.
269
00:12:42,498 --> 00:12:46,234
I will be there, wearing nothing but
a smile and this boutonniere...
270
00:12:47,955 --> 00:12:48,455
And clothes.
271
00:12:48,485 --> 00:12:50,071
I will also be wearing clothes.
272
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,706
Okay.
273
00:12:51,708 --> 00:12:53,474
See you tonight, love bug.
274
00:12:53,476 --> 00:12:55,676
(Joey giggling)
275
00:12:58,147 --> 00:13:02,150
Emily Watson is taking
you to the gal's gala?
276
00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:04,285
Nice job, son.
277
00:13:04,287 --> 00:13:05,353
Thanks, dad.
278
00:13:05,355 --> 00:13:06,454
Prank!
279
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:09,957
What?
280
00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,190
You're being pranked.
281
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:15,530
No way a girl that cute wants
to go to the dance with you.
282
00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:18,733
Perhaps you haven't noticed
because you see me everyday,
283
00:13:18,735 --> 00:13:21,469
but I have blossomed.
284
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:28,109
Earth to blossom, the flower is
so you can be spotted in a crowd.
285
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:30,978
The precise time is when the
prank is being pulled off.
286
00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:34,182
And standing at the bottom of the stairs
is so they can dump stuff on your head.
287
00:13:35,617 --> 00:13:40,021
Probably liquid, but possibly
some sort of animal by-product.
288
00:13:41,123 --> 00:13:42,157
That's how I'd do it.
289
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:46,294
Well, I think you've cracked one
too many walnuts with your forehead.
290
00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:47,595
(Laughs)
291
00:13:47,597 --> 00:13:50,064
She's totally into me.
292
00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:52,066
Right, dad?
293
00:13:52,068 --> 00:13:54,135
Well...
294
00:13:56,071 --> 00:14:00,174
I thought the same thing
as Parker at first,
295
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:03,444
but your mother and I
think you're quite a catch.
296
00:14:03,446 --> 00:14:05,213
Dad's right.
297
00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:07,381
There are plenty of cheerleaders
298
00:14:07,383 --> 00:14:09,749
dying to go out with
members of the rocket club.
299
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:10,618
(Joey scoffs)
300
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:13,621
I am not just a member. Ha!
301
00:14:13,623 --> 00:14:16,490
I am vice chancellor of...
302
00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:19,293
oh, I am so getting pranked.
303
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:34,342
See, my darling?
304
00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:38,346
I told you we'd be the
only ones in lavender.
305
00:14:38,348 --> 00:14:41,082
Yep, here we are at the dance.
306
00:14:41,084 --> 00:14:43,217
Willow and Artie, together.
307
00:14:43,219 --> 00:14:45,620
Just like we both wanted.
308
00:14:47,589 --> 00:14:50,191
These are the texts that I
received from Willow today.
309
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,259
(Clicks tongue) So...
310
00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:53,761
"10:47. Artie's actually into me.
311
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:55,596
Fix this." (Chuckles)
312
00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:59,867
"12:30. Joey has a date. Fix this."
313
00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:04,238
And "3:25. Pre-dance picnic behind
Artie's stepdad's burger stand.
314
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,840
Fix this."
315
00:15:05,842 --> 00:15:07,575
Ugh. I really messed up.
316
00:15:07,577 --> 00:15:10,111
- I have to fix this.
- (Cellphone chimes)
317
00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:12,179
Willow agrees.
318
00:15:13,348 --> 00:15:14,682
Wait!
319
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:16,525
I can't let you two go
into the dance together.
320
00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:18,753
(Sighs) King Artie...
321
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:21,422
The magnificent.
322
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:27,094
You have my attention.
323
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,497
(Insincerely) Liv Rooney,
324
00:15:29,499 --> 00:15:33,467
Artie's my date. What are you doing?
325
00:15:33,469 --> 00:15:35,469
Claiming my king of hearts.
326
00:15:35,471 --> 00:15:38,139
Artie, will you go to...
327
00:15:38,141 --> 00:15:40,341
The dance with me?
328
00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:46,881
Minions, curtain of privacy, please.
329
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:49,817
Let's go. Put it up!
330
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,820
(Excited scream)
331
00:15:52,822 --> 00:15:54,755
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!
332
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:57,558
- Yes! (Laughing)
- (Mouths)
333
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:12,206
Yeah, sure, whatever.
334
00:16:16,211 --> 00:16:19,381
I hope you can forgive me, but
I can live with your hate.
335
00:16:20,182 --> 00:16:21,248
(Shrieks)
336
00:16:32,794 --> 00:16:36,497
I can't help but feel that
some of this must be my fault.
337
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:40,835
Mom, you are looking at a prank-proof box.
338
00:16:40,837 --> 00:16:43,838
This box protects my head from liquids
339
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,508
and my waistband from pantsing. (Laughs)
340
00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:50,678
No one's gonna make me look ridiculous.
341
00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:55,216
Oh, you poor damaged boy.
342
00:17:06,395 --> 00:17:09,463
Joey? What are you wearing?
343
00:17:09,465 --> 00:17:12,967
A big box of dignity, dollface.
344
00:17:12,969 --> 00:17:14,435
Why?
345
00:17:14,437 --> 00:17:15,903
Please.
346
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:17,872
You didn't really want to
go to the dance with me.
347
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:21,542
This was all an elaborate
rouse to prank me.
348
00:17:21,544 --> 00:17:24,612
Well, the rouse is on youse.
349
00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:29,750
Who's trying to prank you?
350
00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:33,721
You and the rest of the
snooty yet beautiful people
351
00:17:33,723 --> 00:17:35,523
who think you own this school.
352
00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:37,425
Let me tell you something, Emily.
353
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:40,361
You may be cute, popular
and on the honor roll,
354
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:43,731
but I have seen your cartwheels and
they are inconsistent at best.
355
00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:45,766
(Gasps)
356
00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:47,668
That's right. I said it.
357
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:48,969
I am my own man.
358
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:52,406
Nobody puts Joey Rooney in a box...
359
00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:55,810
Except Joey Rooney, obviously.
360
00:17:55,812 --> 00:17:59,513
I wasn't trying to prank you.
361
00:17:59,515 --> 00:18:02,917
I wanted to go to the dance
with a cute, sweet, funny guy.
362
00:18:02,919 --> 00:18:04,919
Oh.
363
00:18:04,921 --> 00:18:06,387
Huh.
364
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,450
My bad.
365
00:18:07,481 --> 00:18:11,692
Well, let's not let two
inches of galvanized steel
366
00:18:11,694 --> 00:18:15,763
and bulletproof glass ruin our
night, 'cause I can still dance.
367
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:17,598
Dance, dance, dance.
368
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,899
Goodbye, Joey.
369
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:23,704
Oh, and by the way, my
cartwheels are magnificent.
370
00:18:25,674 --> 00:18:26,707
Wait!
371
00:18:26,709 --> 00:18:28,976
No! Wait! No!
372
00:18:28,978 --> 00:18:29,973
It's not my fault!
373
00:18:30,004 --> 00:18:33,347
I have a father and brother
who have no faith in me.
374
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:35,015
It's okay, baby. It's okay.
375
00:18:35,017 --> 00:18:38,018
Mommy's here. (Mutters)
376
00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:45,392
Dragons, places for the final showdown.
377
00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:51,932
- Fight!
- Boy: Get him good!
378
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,501
Boy #2: Woo! Yeah!
379
00:18:53,503 --> 00:18:55,903
(Boys cheering)
380
00:18:55,905 --> 00:18:57,972
- Boys: Ooh!
- Ooh! (Laughing)
381
00:18:58,974 --> 00:19:00,608
(Screams)
382
00:19:00,610 --> 00:19:01,775
Boys: Ooh!
383
00:19:01,777 --> 00:19:02,943
(Gasps)
384
00:19:02,945 --> 00:19:04,879
I've got an owwie!
385
00:19:04,881 --> 00:19:06,947
I've got a big owwie!
386
00:19:08,817 --> 00:19:10,618
Reggie, are you okay?
387
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:12,486
Don't worry. I'll finish him.
388
00:19:12,488 --> 00:19:14,788
I will not be banished from this dojo.
389
00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:16,724
Dragon heart punch!
390
00:19:16,726 --> 00:19:18,792
(Screaming)
391
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:26,333
Ugh.
392
00:19:26,335 --> 00:19:27,434
Okay.
393
00:19:27,436 --> 00:19:28,969
You've made your point. Show's over.
394
00:19:28,971 --> 00:19:31,005
Dragon arm attack.
395
00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:32,072
(Yelling)
396
00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:38,112
(Screaming)
397
00:19:38,114 --> 00:19:41,749
So, I've realized that,
as my brother was beating
398
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:44,618
his best friend senseless
with his own dismembered arm,
399
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:48,923
I may have pushed the
kids a little bit too hard.
400
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:54,271
Aw, man we're done?
401
00:19:54,289 --> 00:19:56,130
What am I supposed to
do with these fake teeth?
402
00:19:56,132 --> 00:19:57,398
(Spits)
403
00:20:01,503 --> 00:20:03,804
Dragons, I owe you an apology.
404
00:20:03,806 --> 00:20:06,807
I forgot that dragon strike
martial arts is about discipline
405
00:20:06,809 --> 00:20:10,878
and learning how to defend
yourself, not being top dragon.
406
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,446
So, in order to make it up to all of you
407
00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:14,815
I am buying everyone hot
dogs at the go-kart track.
408
00:20:14,817 --> 00:20:16,450
Boys and dad: (Cheering)
409
00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:19,920
Also, dad, can I borrow some
money for hot dogs and go-karts?
410
00:20:21,756 --> 00:20:24,592
All right, dragons, gather
up your loose limbs
411
00:20:24,594 --> 00:20:27,428
and hearts and meet me at the minivan.
412
00:20:27,430 --> 00:20:29,096
It's time to ride!
413
00:20:29,098 --> 00:20:30,431
(Boys cheering)
414
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:32,900
You know I'm not gonna
be holding back out there
415
00:20:32,902 --> 00:20:34,535
on that go-kart track, right?
416
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:37,905
I do not care if you are in middle
school, I am gonna dominate you.
417
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:40,007
I'll run you right into a wall, old lady.
418
00:20:40,942 --> 00:20:42,843
Rawr!
419
00:20:42,845 --> 00:20:44,979
But, like, picture that,
but, like, fire breath.
420
00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:46,046
(Laughs)
421
00:20:51,686 --> 00:20:52,820
Oh, I almost forgot.
422
00:20:52,822 --> 00:20:54,488
(Claps) Minions.
423
00:21:00,929 --> 00:21:01,862
What?
424
00:21:01,864 --> 00:21:03,564
Wait, why do you even have this?
425
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:04,965
You had no idea that I was gonna ask you.
426
00:21:04,967 --> 00:21:06,166
You were all gaga for Willow.
427
00:21:06,168 --> 00:21:09,136
(Laughs) Oh, I was never into Willow.
428
00:21:09,138 --> 00:21:10,137
You were...
you nev...
429
00:21:10,139 --> 00:21:11,205
you what? What? What?
430
00:21:12,173 --> 00:21:14,174
It was all part of my master plan.
431
00:21:14,176 --> 00:21:15,876
Allow me to explain.
432
00:21:15,878 --> 00:21:18,145
Minions, some 'splaining
music. (Snaps fingers)
433
00:21:19,114 --> 00:21:21,148
(Electric keyboard plays)
434
00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:23,884
I knew that a girl with a taste for Joey
could never feel the same way towards
435
00:21:23,886 --> 00:21:26,954
an elegant, gingery flavor such as myself.
436
00:21:26,956 --> 00:21:29,590
It makes no culinary sense.
437
00:21:29,592 --> 00:21:32,626
I knew it had to be the
work of the queen of hearts,
438
00:21:32,628 --> 00:21:35,896
so I faked an obsession
with Willow, giving you
439
00:21:35,898 --> 00:21:37,598
no choice but to jump
on the grenade for her.
440
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,800
And that grenade is me.
441
00:21:39,802 --> 00:21:42,069
Boom! Romance!
442
00:21:43,004 --> 00:21:44,071
(Camera shutter clicks)
443
00:21:47,575 --> 00:21:50,010
Wait, I got outplayed?
444
00:21:50,012 --> 00:21:52,146
You're like an evil genius...
445
00:21:52,148 --> 00:21:54,682
And I'm weirdly impressed.
446
00:21:54,684 --> 00:21:56,116
Wait till you see me tango.
447
00:21:56,118 --> 00:21:58,786
(Tango keyboard music plays)
448
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,207
Hey, Joey.
449
00:22:20,209 --> 00:22:21,575
Oh.
450
00:22:21,577 --> 00:22:23,744
Hi, Willow. You look nice.
451
00:22:23,746 --> 00:22:24,878
Thanks.
452
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,146
Where's Artie?
453
00:22:26,148 --> 00:22:28,682
It's, uh, kind of rude to ditch your date.
454
00:22:28,684 --> 00:22:31,585
Joey, I never wanted to
go to the dance with Artie.
455
00:22:31,587 --> 00:22:33,687
I wanted to go with you,
but I thought you'd say no.
456
00:22:33,689 --> 00:22:35,589
Good instinct.
457
00:22:37,025 --> 00:22:38,992
It's too bad I'm in this box.
458
00:22:38,994 --> 00:22:41,862
We could go dance as friends.
459
00:22:41,864 --> 00:22:44,798
(Metal clangs)
460
00:22:47,268 --> 00:22:48,535
(Squeals)
461
00:22:50,705 --> 00:22:52,873
So, how about that dance?
462
00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:54,908
- I'm afraid to say no.
- Good instinct.
463
00:22:54,910 --> 00:22:56,009
(Screams)
464
00:22:56,945 --> 00:23:01,115
At 10:02, Artie texted
this to the entire school.
465
00:23:04,018 --> 00:23:09,656
But it was all worth it
when at 10:15, I got this.
466
00:23:09,706 --> 00:23:14,256
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