Original subtitles

Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com

Hey... ooh.

Did you play your last game of basketball under a car?

Your blouse is, um, filthy, Maddie.

First of all, it's not a blouse.

It's my Jersey, and by Jersey I mean

Halloween costume. Bam! Boo!

(Laughs)

(Chuckles)

Okay, so Halloween is the one night of the year

that you can go as whatever you want,

and you chose a basketball player.

No.

A dead basketball player! (Laughs)

Yeah, Willow and I are going to Screamfest as team death.

Oh, speaking of Screamfest.

So, I have been thinking about the theme...

no, Liv, when you say "thinking," you mean "changing,"

and these details have been locked.

I mean, the theme is death.

Right, um, I just think that death has been kind of...

You know, done to death.

And as your new Screamfest co-chair,

I have come up with a new theme,

so you might want to sit down so you can rise to applaud me.

It's gonna be more dramatic.

No? Okay. So...

I have come up with a theme that is so fright-tacular,

so scare-diculous, that Screamfest will never be the same again.

Are you ready?

The theme is...

Brown! (Gasps)

- Brown? - Yeah.

That's not a theme, that's a carpet color.

Well, we might as well make the theme

I... uh... turtle necks.

(Yelps) Those are terrifying.

You know what? We should dog-ear that for next year.

Liv, I'm being serious.

Screamfest is supposed to be scary.

And it will be.

I mean, no one looks good in brown.

All right, come here.

Look me in the eyes. I'm going to even say this

in slow motion so that it can really sink in, yeah?

No-o-o-o-o-o.

Great, so you're gonna think about it.

(Theme music playing)

Better in stereo

b... b... better in stereo

- I'm up with the sunshine

- Let's go

- I lace up my high tops

- Oh no

- slam dunk

- Ready or not

yeah, show me what you got

- I'm under the spotlight

- Holler

I dare you, come on and follow

you dance to your own beat

I'll sing the melody

when you say yea-ah-ah

I say no-oh-oh

when you say stop

all I want to do is go, go, go

you, you, the other half of me, me

The half I'll never be-e

the half that drives me crazy

you, you, the better half of me, me

the half I'll always need

but we both know

we're better in stereo.

- (Snoring) - Maddie?

Maddie?

- Maddie! - (Snorts)

Look what I found.

Your child peacefully sleeping,

trying to rest her growing teenage body?

I haven't had a nap since you were born,

so too bad, so sad.

Mmm! I remember this.

This is from my old Halloween costume, right?

Mm-hmm, you were six.

You and Liv were wizards...

And Joey was a kitten being eaten by a shark.

(Laughing)

Things went wrong so young for that boy.

Yeah, and Liv fought me so hard

for this because she was convinced

that it had magical powers. (Laughs)

Okay, it does have magical powers.

I mean, Maddie wished to be a great basketball player

and I wished to be famous. So...

Ma-gic. (Chuckles)

Man, I love Halloween.

Not nearly as much though as I love walking around

- without my knee brace. - (Laughs)

Now that your knee's so strong,

our hypnotherapy sessions will get your mental edge back

in a snap. (Snaps fingers)

That's so weird. (Chuckles)

When you snapped just now, I had this sudden urge

to go clean the entire kitchen.

Huh.

I wonder where that came from.

(Giggling)

Mother, father, we're so happy to see you.

Have you been working out, dad?

Show me the guns.

Bang! Bang!

Whoa, papa got swole.

Okay, holster the guns, Pete.

This much butt-smoochery can only mean

that they want something.

Still feels nice.

So... we were wondering...

spill it so we can kill it.

We want to go to mutilator Mike's haunted house

of terrifying frights and scares.

There's a mad scientist, he clones himself

but the clones turn on him, unscrew the top of his skull,

and eat his brains like a bowl of cereal.

But the brains are rotted, so there's squirming maggots...

(clears throat) You're not going.

Guys, we discussed this.

Mutilator Mike's is not age-appropriate.

How is it not age-appropriate for me?

I am in my prime maggot years.

The movie "pony princess" gave you nightmares.

It was a horse in a dress, mother, can you blame me?

Come on, mom.

Isn't there any way we could go?

Yeah, well, you know, there might be one way.

- (Gasps) - What is it? What is it?

You could clone yourselves

and we'd never know you left.

- (Laughing) - Hey-y!

How cruel can you be?

You know I'm still five years from mastering cloning technology.

(Doorbell rings)

Mom, that's Willow!

Team death is off to Screamfest.

This is gonna be... awesome.

Yeah, okay.

There is definitely someone in there

who is too old to be trick-or-treating.

So beat it, bear.

Wait!

(Blows) Don't kill my childlike sense of wonder.

Willow? Wait, I'm sorry, what are you wearing?

You're supposed to be in your team death Jersey.

It's my brown costume.

Liv texted the whole school and said you guys decided

to change the theme. Go big and go brown!

Go home and go change!

What...

- are you serious? - Yeah.

I told her that we're not gonna do

her stupid brown theme.

Seriously, go home. Go change, I'm not kidding.

Thank you, bye.

(Groans)

Some days, I just really wish I wasn't born a twin.

(Ominous tone)

Okay...

No, thank you. That's really creepy.

Liv!

You told the whole school that we changed

the Screamfest theme to brown?

I told you no.

Be quiet.

Willow?

How did you get up here so fast?

And how did you change so quick?

Both: Shh!

You will wake her.

- (Loud thudding) - (Chain rattles)

- The beast stirs. - (Whimpers)

- (Loud footsteps) - (Gasping)

That's her angry walk. I'm out of here.

(Whimpers)

Uh, okay, who are we talking about?

- Helga. - Who's Helga?

(Growls)

Oo-oh.

You have disturbed my beauty sleep!

Wow!

- You are definitely Helga. - Silence! (Echoes)

- Oh! Okay. - (Underwear stretches)

Ow, wedgie. How's she doing that?

It's a Helga wedgie.

She just thinks it and it happens.

Kneel before Helga,

the Alpha triplet.

Triplets? What is going on?

We're not triplets, we're twins!

Oh... I wished not to be a twin.

That stupid amulet is magic!

Ma-gic.

Who are you people?

Why are you staring at Helga?!

(Growls)

Sister triplets, prepare for helgafest.

Um, don't you mean Screamfest?

(Demonic voice) Helgafest!

(Normal voice) If you cannot listen, I will clean your ears.

(Slurping)

Ew! Oh, no no no no no.

(Squeaking)

Oh, that's so gross. That's actually wet.

(Squeaking continues)

Helga off to feed pet cockroach...

Then to eat it.

Okay, so...

Helga's a freaky nightmare.

(Exhales sharply)

How do you put up with that?

Well, it's like we always say Maddie:

Sisters by chance, friends by force.

Ah, this amulet is perfect for foot scratching.

Have you two seen my magic wish amulet?

Um, no idea what you're talking about.

When someone's looking for something

with magic in the name, you don't just hand it over.

Did you guys know that there is a triplet

named Helga living in our attic?

Duh.

She grew too big for that dragon egg she hatched out of.

(Laughing)

Don't tell her I said that.

(Groans) That stupid amulet made us triplets!

It's supposed to be Liv and Maddie,

not Liv and Maddie and... Helga!

(Loud thud)

Liv: Oh, owsies.

Was that Liv?

Yeah, Helga probably threw her

off the roof again.

What?!

Why would Helga do that?

So she has something soft to land on.

Helga: Helga jumps! (Thuds)

(Chains rattle)

Liv: Double owsies.

(Growl)

Helga: Helga is ready. We go now!

- (Underwear stretches) - Oh! Ooh!

Wow! Okay.

Helga wedgie, I guess I go now.

Ooh, I go now. (Groans)

A magic amulet? (Chuckles)

A world without Helga?

Well, Maddie's finally lost it.

I know, right?

Hey, magic amulet, I wish we had clones of ourselves

so we could go to mutilator Mike's.

- Ooh. - (Ominous tone)

(Both gasp)

Witchcraft!

(Splash)

Ugh, nice job, munch.

If that thing had any shot of being magic,

it's ruined now.

Dude, relax.

We'll rinse it off.

For the record, hummus does not shield magical powers.

Hey, you don't know that.

Hummus is a very powerful spread.

(Grunts) Whoo!

Both: Whoa.

(British accent) Cheerio, mates.

The name's plus. Parker plus.

Come along then, ooey. Chop chop.

(Panting, giggling)

Both: We have clones!

We have clones! We have clones!

Wow, the amulet really was magic.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Ooey.

Ooey.

Ooey says it's jolly good to meet you blokes,

and he has an itch.

(Sighs) Ooey.

He found the spot.

Okay, is it just me or is my clone...

Like, the coolest guy ever?

Ooey. (Chuckles)

It's just you.

Ooey, ooey.

Ooey. (Whimpers)

The poor lad says he was starting to take form

when something went wonky.

Like the magic was shielded somehow.

See?

Told you... hummus!

I don't care what happened to him.

I love him just the way he is.

Hi, little fella.

Ooey.

Okay, here's the deal:

We are going to a haunted house.

You two are staying here to distract our parents.

Yeah, yeah, and if they ask any questions,

your tux is your Halloween costume.

Tell them you're going as Parker with class.

And you're going as...

(Giggles)

Eh, they probably won't notice the difference.

(Ominous music playing)

- (Gong chimes) - Helga is near!

Do not run or we will hunt you down

and you will wind up like our math teacher,

Mr. cove!

He gave Helga a "c"!

(Gasping)

- (Gasps) - (Gong chimes)

She arrives!

All hail Helga!

- All hail Helga! - Students: All hail Helga!

- Willow: All hail Helga! - Students: All hail Helga!

(Chanting continues)

Yeah, things have definitely taken

a little turn for the crazy.

Helga declares helgafest open!

(Gong chimes)

(Sighs)

(Snarls)

More fish for Helga!

Ooey, stop that. I'm making us a spot of supper.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Ooh, Parker, you're cooking.

How unusual.

And Joey, you're licking a chicken.

How Joey.

Ooey, ooey, ooey.

Oh, I get it.

That's your Halloween costume

you're gonna be talking like that all night.

No, that's not gonna get annoying.

So, what are you making?

Well, the cupboards are dreadfully bare,

but I believe I can whip up a lovely pot pie.

Oh, heavens.

We don't have any meat.

I'm stymied.

Oo-eey?

Ooey, no, that's ghastly.

Ooey?

Righty-o, they're not really our mum and dad.

Parent pot pie it is.

W-why are you doing this?

We're sorry. Look... look,

you can go to the haunted house.

Simmer down, mumsy.

"Simmer."

Oh, I'm terrible.

(Ominous music playing)

(Gong chimes)

Time's up, carvers.

Reveal your work.

Approved.

(Cackles)

Approved.

(Demonic voice) Unacceptable!

(Gasping)

Maddie, what are you doing?

Helga said to keep our hoods on.

Yeah, I am done with Helga.

If giant skeleton and wolf guy had a baby,

they would not be nearly as bad as her.

(Chuckles)

Okay, well what are you gonna do? We're triplets.

No, we're not.

We're twins, and I know that deep down inside

part of you still knows that.

I just, like, really need you

to go distract Helga, so that I can sneak out,

get the amulet and save us.

Okay, Maddie, you are making literally no sense,

but if there is even the tiniest chance

that we can get rid of Helga, I'm in.

I mean, I am done sharing a bathroom with her.

The litter box is there for a reason, Helga.

Okay.

Um, hey, Helga!

I think that this party needs a diva moment.

Helga-aa

Is a big meanie, yow!

Only Helga has diva moments!

(Demonic voice) Seize her!

(Chuckles)

Helga-aa

Is just misunderstood.

Yow!

Clap for Helga!

(Demonic voice) Or die.

- (Yelping) - (Applause)

The only thing mutilator Mike's mutilated,

was my love for Halloween.

I know, right?

Total snore fest.

I brought an extra pair of underpants for nothing.

What does a guy have to do

to get a decent scare around here?

Karen: Help, I'm being cooked alive!

He-elp...

(gasps) Evil clones!

We made evil clones!

I told you hummus messes up magic!

It is just so hard watching your clones

grow up and make bad choices.

Snap out of it.

Our selfish wish is killing mom and dad.

You're right.

We must risk life and limb to rescue them,

and then tell them that we have learned our lesson.

Or we could get the amulet and wish our clones away.

Yeah, that sounds like a shortcut I can get behind.

(Grunting)

Stop struggling, mumsy,

or your muscles will flex and make the meat chewy!

Okay.

Ooh.

(Sighs) Okay.

I wish I was a twin again.

(Ominous tone)

Helga?

I... no, 'cause I just wished you away.

Where's Liv? Where's my twin sister?

Who's Liv?

Helga's your twin sister.

Give Helga hug.

Okay, you would think I'd know by now

to be incredibly specific with that amulet.

We need the magic wish amulet.

It's a matter of life and mom.

- And dad. - Oh, yeah, him too.

Seriously, munch? The hummus again?

Mmm...

Helga loves hummus.

- (Crunching) - (Gasps)

No!

You destroyed the amulet,

the only way to get back to normal,

and now we're stuck this way forever.

And you stuck your dirty fish fingers

in the hummus! Come on, Helga!

- (Underwear stretches) - (Yelps) Sorry, Helga.

I love your fingers.

You could be a hand model.

I'm never gonna see Liv again.

I just wish my family would go back to normal!

(Ominous tone)

Maddie?

- Maddie? - (Snoring)

Maddie?

- Liv! (Gasps) - Oh.

Ooh, oh.

I'm still in my knee brace.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Wow, you were really under.

What are you talking about?

Hypnotherapy.

We just spent the last hour

working through your fear

of using your injured knee to shoot a three-pointer,

remember? You kept saying,

"I can make a three. I can make a three."

I did make a three.

We even made your fear into a monster and gave it a name.

What, Helga?

Oh, so you do remember.

Hey, mads, I really need to talk to you.

- Liv! (Chuckles) - Hi. (Chuckles)

Um, I just wanted to apologize for trying to change

the theme of Screamfest to brown.

- I just... - No no no no no.

I love brown. And I love you.

And don't try to change anything,

because I like things just the way they are.

(Sighs)

Perfect. Because the two of us

can go as the scariest combination of brown of all...

Beige and taupe. (Gasps)

It's like blah meets blah.

(Laughs)

Yeah, and I have a tan suede vest

if you wanna go as triplets.

Yeah, definitely not triplets.

Ew.

When you awake, you will feel ready

to take on the world.

(Chuckles) I've never tried this

without the amulet, so how do you feel?

Ooey. (Chuckles)

What?

Ooey.

Ooey?

Ooey?!

Ooey! Ooey!

Ooey! Ooey! Ooey! Ooey! Ooey!

Really have to finish that online course

before I try that again.

Helga: Kneel before Helga!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0