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Synced and corrected by : Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
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Ooh! A package.
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,074
Wait, what's in it? A new blouse?
4
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:10,442
A new bag?
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:13,412
Underwear that doesn't go
all the way up to your waist?
6
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:16,915
It is an antique washboard.
7
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,551
Oh! Isn't she a beaut?
8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:24,022
It's going to help Maddie and me
win the mother-daughter challenge
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,425
at Jessup's pioneer trail this weekend.
10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:30,028
Ugh! Is that that woodsy place that
Maddie and I used to go to on field trips
11
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,298
where the highlight was going to
the bathroom while sitting on a log?
12
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:37,836
Yep! Maddie and I have been doing
this challenge for the last four years.
13
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:42,607
You camp in the woods and live
like people did in the 1800s.
14
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,943
Are you being punished?
15
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:50,582
The most successful mother-daughter
team wins the golden butter churn
16
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,952
and gets to lord it over the
other ladies for the entire year.
17
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,922
Yeah, this is just a picture 'cause
mom and I have never really won it.
18
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:59,958
Well, one of us always seems to get
leprosy or fall into a Wolverine nest
19
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,393
- before we get enough points.
- Yeah.
20
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,895
And by one of us, I mean Maddie.
21
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,464
- Mom.
- Hmm?
22
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,299
I can see and hear you.
23
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,567
Mm-hmm.
24
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:12,371
Ugh! This isn't going to be one of
those things that you drag me to, is it?
25
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,573
[Laughing]
26
00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,643
[Laughs]
27
00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,245
Why are we laughing?
28
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,480
What's so funny about me going with you?
29
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:22,981
Are you inviting me or not?
30
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,952
Liv, this is rough-and-tumble
outdoorsy living.
31
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Of course we're not inviting you.
32
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,590
How dare she not invite me.
33
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:36,628
Sure, it sounds gross and dirty and
stupid, but she should have at least asked.
34
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,231
Then I could have turned her
down and laughed in her face.
35
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No, you wouldn't survive a day.
36
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[Theme music playing]
37
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Better in stereo
38
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,673
b... b... better in stereo
39
00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,675
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
40
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,044
-
I lace up my high tops
-
Oh no
41
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,679
slam dunk, ready or not
42
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,648
yeah, show me what you got
43
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,050
-
I'm under the spotlight
-
Holler
44
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,119
I dare you, come on and follow
45
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,588
you dance to your own beat
46
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,590
I'll sing the melody
47
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,093
when you
say yea-ah-ah
48
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,961
I say
no-oh-oh
49
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,230
when you say stop
50
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,933
all I want to do is go go go
51
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,936
you you, the other half of me me
52
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,938
The half I'll never be-e
53
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:23,408
the half that drives me crazy
54
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,445
you you, the better half of me me
55
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,713
the half I'll always need
56
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,382
but we both know
57
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,484
we're better in stereo.
58
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:37,689
Mom. Mom. Mom.
59
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,957
I caught lunch.
60
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,493
What is it?
61
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,129
I don't know. It all
went down pretty quick.
62
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,464
Mrs. Wakefield.
63
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,632
Put us on the scoreboard.
64
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:52,437
[Laughs] Looks like team Rooney
are the eager beavers this year.
65
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:55,574
Nature pun intended.
66
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,575
Maddie!
67
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:01,480
I am here for the mother-daughter weekend!
68
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:05,517
Who is ready to get
their pioneer par-tay on?
69
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:08,620
Oh, honey, what are you doing here?
70
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,489
I thought this wasn't your kind of thing.
71
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,390
Yeah, and besides, mom and I are already
72
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,392
doing this together and
it's only teams of two.
73
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:18,230
That's why I went out and rustled up a mom.
74
00:03:19,565 --> 00:03:21,199
A mom?
75
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,068
What are you talking about?
76
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,170
Oh, I'm just talking about Bree du monde.
77
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,605
Both: Bree?
78
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:30,709
Bree du monde is the actress who
played my mom on
"sing it loud!"
79
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:35,013
She's a triple threat... gor-gene,
fab-smash, and rock-a-diculous.
80
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,716
- [Leaves rustling]
- Oh! There she is now.
81
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,584
[Bree laughs]
82
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:43,722
Pioneer Bree, reporting to the prairie.
83
00:03:45,057 --> 00:03:47,058
Oops, forgot to lock my horse.
84
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,260
[Chirps]
85
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:52,030
[Both laugh, sigh]
86
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,302
Okay, buddy... womenfolk are out camping.
87
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,737
Dad is out golfing.
88
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,840
And that means we have all
day to do whatever we want.
89
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,408
Way ahead of you, dude.
90
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,510
Why do you think I'm
eating a rib with my foot?
91
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:14,119
As impressed with that as I
am... I've got bigger plans.
92
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,721
You mean like eating a
drumstick with my foot.
93
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:24,763
Okay, buddy, I am talking about
a way to make cold, hard cash.
94
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,797
You have my full attention.
95
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,198
Don't waste this moment.
96
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,335
Liv Rooney residential tour...
97
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,204
for a small fee, members of the
local "sing it loud!" Fan club
98
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:38,410
can see where their favorite teen idol
eats, sleeps, and obsessively flosses.
99
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:42,213
I've been collecting her empty
shampoo bottles and toenail clippings.
100
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,383
Can you say "gift shop"?
101
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:49,854
I knew I'd cash in on how creepy
you were one of these days.
102
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,690
Wipe that sauce off your foot.
103
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,759
The tour shows up in an hour.
104
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,661
Hey, guys.
105
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,332
Golf got canceled.
106
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,800
Bummer for me.
107
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,469
But we get to spend
the weekend together now
108
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,305
for a little father-son bonding time.
109
00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:11,376
Both: Yay.
110
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,613
So while Maddie's off skinning lunch...
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00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:18,650
Why don't we catch up?
112
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:23,488
Bree, it is so good of you to come
and support Liv on such short notice.
113
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,625
Well, Karen, when my TV daughter called,
114
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,627
I just canceled everything
on my schedule to be here.
115
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:29,661
[Chuckles]
116
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,598
Just one of those situations where I
had to drop a butt bomb of mom on it.
117
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,702
"Drop a butt bomb of mom on it"
118
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,638
is something I used to say.
119
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,475
Bree heard it and turned it into
her TV character's catchphrase.
120
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:47,879
Since then, she's made a fortune
dropping a butt bomb of mom on cookbooks,
121
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,882
workout videos, and yogurt
that keeps you young.
122
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,418
I haven't said it since.
123
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,754
I really miss the butt bomb.
124
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,223
Well, mom... - yeah,
sugar? - What, sweetie?
125
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:02,560
Oh... Oh, wow!
126
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,929
[SIGHS, winces] This is awkward, isn't it?
127
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,631
[Laughs]
128
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,467
Hadn't really thought of that. Ha ha!
129
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:12,671
So we should probably go set up our tent.
130
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:16,641
And I'll see you around
the campfire, Karen?
131
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:22,614
All right, we have got to think fast.
132
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:26,251
The girls coming for the Liv Rooney
residential tour will be here any minute,
133
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,354
and dad is acting like he owns the place.
134
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:33,725
He sort of does.
135
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:38,797
We need a project that will keep dad busy.
136
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:42,734
You know how strict mom is
about what goes in the disposal.
137
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,602
That's gonna break it.
138
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,641
Shove it in.
139
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,842
Shove it all in.
140
00:06:54,613 --> 00:06:56,347
[Grinding]
141
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,616
[Metal breaking, clanging]
142
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:01,820
[Whirring, loud thuds]
143
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,421
[Whirring stops, metal pieces clang]
144
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,425
Dad! Something's wrong with the disposal.
145
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,794
You need to fix it.
146
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,796
This is perfect.
147
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,900
You know how dad takes forever
to do pretty much anything.
148
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,702
What'd you do?
149
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:22,707
You know how strict your mom is
about what goes in the disposal.
150
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,609
Yep.
151
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,779
It's jammed up real good.
152
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,381
You can fix it, though... right, dad?
153
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,684
Of course he can. Our father's a man's man.
154
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,886
He can fix anything.
155
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:40,692
Yeah, looks like it's time for
Pete to get his old plumber on.
156
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,666
[Door opens]
157
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:53,772
Greetings, lovers of Liv
and all things Rooney.
158
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:58,510
Welcome to the Liv Rooney residential tour.
159
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,713
And gift shop.
160
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:08,019
We must be very careful not to
disturb any of the other residents.
161
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,687
And we're walking.
162
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,289
And we're walking.
163
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,291
And we're walking.
164
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:25,370
It's like taking candy from a... Artie.
165
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:32,877
Oh, my late arrivals.
166
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:36,748
Welcome to the best place
on earth... the past.
167
00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:41,853
Time to turn in all modern-day devices.
168
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,389
Oh, dear.
169
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,058
Um... [Laughs]
170
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:52,530
So exactly how like
"modern" are we talking?
171
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,766
'Cause, I mean, my phone's pretty old.
172
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,836
I think I've had it for
at least like six months.
173
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,605
Well, if the pioneers didn't
have it, neither can you.
174
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:05,777
[Gasps]
175
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,747
Oh, and don't forget your hairbrushes.
176
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,783
[Gasps]
177
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,686
We're pioneers, not animals.
178
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:18,489
On the frontier women would
whittle hair-grooming tools
179
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,425
made out of leftover firewood.
180
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:22,727
Here's a comb.
181
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,000
My babies.
182
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,970
Don't worry, sugar.
183
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,072
Everyone has their price.
184
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,407
How about I trade you that curling iron
185
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,676
for a signed copy of "a
very butt bomb Christmas"?
186
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,748
Oh, Liv, honey. We should talk.
187
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,651
I'm starting to wonder if you're
upset that I didn't invite you.
188
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,752
[Gasps]
189
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,688
Why ever would you think that?
190
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:54,859
You brought in a substitute mom
from the other side of the country.
191
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:56,127
It's kind of a red flag.
192
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,897
Oh, yeah, maybe you're right, mom.
193
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,765
Maybe I am a little bit upset.
194
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,702
Maybe now I will beat you at your own game.
195
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,973
As the pioneers would
say, I bid you good day.
196
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,712
[Pole clatters, thuds]
197
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,650
This changes nothing!
198
00:10:23,822 --> 00:10:26,925
Right this way, ladies.
199
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,861
And now to our left, the
highlight of the tour.
200
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:34,432
Liv Rooney's sleeping chamber.
201
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:37,802
Please do not disturb
Liv's side of the room.
202
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:42,807
But feel free to stand on the
un-famous twin's bed and take a picture.
203
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,842
[Shutters clicking]
204
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,715
It's exactly how I imagined it.
205
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:55,787
Urban princess contemporary.
206
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,025
How much to get me past the velvet rope?
207
00:11:02,861 --> 00:11:04,062
Sorry, Artie.
208
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,196
That is off-limits.
209
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,664
10 bucks.
210
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,500
I'll give you 20 if I
can have a diva moment.
211
00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:11,769
[Murmurs]
212
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:12,904
Deal.
213
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,605
I really want to see this.
214
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,914
Are you sure this is a good idea?
215
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,683
Parker, I'm not sure any
of this is a good idea.
216
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,822
Ready?
217
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:40,898
[Vocalizing]
218
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:45,203
Liv and Artie forever!
219
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,039
I really want to make fun of that.
220
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,275
But it was nothing short of magnificent.
221
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,711
[Applause]
222
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:58,683
We have been at this for three hours.
223
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,785
How long does it take to churn butter?
224
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,787
Well, obviously it takes
at least three hours!
225
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:09,861
I'm sorry, Bree, I just... I really
want one of those bark necklace thingies.
226
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,763
Liv: [Sighing] Okay, let's check.
227
00:12:16,201 --> 00:12:19,704
[Both laughing]
228
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,807
Ha ha! In yo face, ladies!
229
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:25,143
[Screams]
230
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,014
You... you saw that, right?
231
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,582
We're still going to get credit for that?
232
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,751
No.
233
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,622
But we do have a winner in
the wood-chopping competition.
234
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,991
Congratulations, team Rooney!
235
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,659
Yes!
236
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,798
The secret is to really hate the wood.
237
00:12:47,866 --> 00:12:50,334
[Groans] Mom.
238
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,969
This is finally our year.
239
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:56,074
I mean, we are so far ahead, we've got
that golden butter churn all locked up.
240
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,842
Well, unless we do something dumb...
241
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,877
and by we, I mean you...
so don't touch anything.
242
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,147
Hey, I hear you, mom.
243
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:09,821
So here... Is to the golden butter churn.
244
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,889
Maddie Rooney.
245
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:15,193
Did you just take a nice, long
drink of water to avoid dehydration?
246
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,361
Yes, ma'am.
247
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,863
Then you're dead.
248
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:25,703
Uh... Wha... uh... [
Stammers] Wait, hold on.
249
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,804
I boiled this water.
250
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,307
No no no no. You boiled that water.
251
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,309
Oops!
252
00:13:33,178 --> 00:13:35,613
But we were going to win this year.
253
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,748
Bringing out the dead!
254
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:41,819
Wha... no, mom, I have been so careful.
255
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,855
You know what... we are so far ahead,
256
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,991
you win that golden butter
churn for both of us!
257
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,392
You keep this dream alive!
258
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,698
Let's prepare the body for the viewing.
259
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:59,403
Amazing grace
260
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,906
how sweet...
261
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:08,079
And then Liv's character was
like, "oh, no, you didn't!"
262
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,414
And then the bad girl was
like, "oh, yes, I did."
263
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:13,017
And then they had an angry dance-off.
264
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,120
It was like... [Imitates dance music]
265
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,222
Artie. Artie. Artie! Artie!
266
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,724
That is enough.
267
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,892
Get off the bed.
268
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,295
Fine.
269
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,664
And then they made up
and became best friends.
270
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,699
[Imitates dance music]
271
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,835
Parker: All right, people.
272
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,371
Please direct your
attention to the window seat,
273
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,741
where you will find every stuffed
animal Liv has ever played with.
274
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,442
Also available for purchase.
275
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,979
Do I have to pay for the ones I gave her?
276
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:46,350
I'm not answering that question
until you've returned the gum
277
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,352
you took from under her desk.
278
00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,730
Pete: Hey, boys, you up there?
279
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,499
Dad's coming. Everybody hide!
280
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,901
I mean, to the shoe closet.
281
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,170
All right, people.
282
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,773
And we're moving. And we're moving.
283
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:09,941
And we're moving faster.
284
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,476
So that means move faster.
285
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:18,449
Hey, what are you doing
in Liv and Maddie's room?
286
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,852
We just miss them so much.
287
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:26,357
And why are their stuffed
animals down from the attic?
288
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:31,028
We missed them too.
289
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:35,333
Well, the garbage disposal's fried.
290
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,902
I have to go to the hardware
store to get a new one.
291
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,771
Yeah, you're a real man's man.
292
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,840
I'll see you later.
293
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,342
Hey, do me a favor.
294
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,110
Put those stuffed
animals back in the attic.
295
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,112
They're creepy.
296
00:15:54,786 --> 00:15:57,221
Bree: Oh, thanks for
fetching the water, Liv.
297
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,991
You missed a wonderful wake.
298
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,526
[SIGHS]
299
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,829
Yeah, and now with Maddie out of the game,
300
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:07,531
we might actually have
a chance at beating mom.
301
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:11,102
She did have to trade in all
her firewood for funeral flowers.
302
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,871
Oh, Bree.
303
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,306
I am so proud of us.
304
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:20,344
I mean, first, we create butter
out of nothing but thin air.
305
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,880
Okay, well, five gallons of
milk and three hours of labor,
306
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,216
but still... we made butter.
307
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:35,559
And now we are getting our clothes
squeaky clean... With nothing...
308
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:40,364
But dirty rocks... And soap that I'm
pretty sure is burning my skin off.
309
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:45,870
And if I do say so myself,
I have dropped a butt bomb
310
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,805
of pioneer mom on this here log comb.
311
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,908
Ow!
312
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,343
Ow!
313
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,078
Ow!
314
00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:59,116
I actually took a little break and
cooled my toes off in the stream,
315
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,085
and it was so refreshing
that it made my feet tingle.
316
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,987
You go, girl!
317
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,856
Are those leeches?
318
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,091
[Shrieks]
319
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,327
Leeches! Real, live leeches!
320
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,295
Get these bloodsucking slugs off of me!
321
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,963
Bree, do something!
322
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,432
Get off her, leeches!
323
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,101
Shoo! Shoo!
324
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,869
Come on, Bree.
325
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,971
This is where you drop
a butt bomb of mom on it.
326
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:23,074
Oh, honey, I'm not your mom.
327
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,842
Don't take this the wrong way.
328
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,177
But I'm out of here.
329
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,413
Is there a right way to take that?
330
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:45,262
And as we conclude the tour...
Ooh hoo hoo, this is a rare sight.
331
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,331
Liv Rooney's real-life father.
332
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,067
Don't disturb him.
333
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,535
We'll go out the back.
334
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,304
No way.
335
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,272
I was promised a full tour.
336
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:59,043
My holiday card will have a picture
of me in every room in this house.
337
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,011
Fine.
338
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,613
Just wait here one second.
339
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,582
Also, I hate you.
340
00:18:06,651 --> 00:18:08,285
Hey, pops.
341
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:09,487
Whatcha up to?
342
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,189
While I was at the hardware
store, I picked up an alarm system.
343
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,925
We have a celebrity living in this house.
344
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,027
People would pay to get in here.
345
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,563
Fascinating. Show me everything.
346
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,099
Don't take your eyes off this box.
347
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:27,071
I've never been more interested
in anything you've ever done.
348
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,206
Hold still, Joey.
349
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,674
I'm setting the motion detector.
350
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:34,245
Any movement will trip the alarm.
351
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,579
[Siren wails]
352
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,548
Female voice: Alarm activated.
353
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,083
12 intruders detected.
354
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,118
Pete: What's wrong with this thing?
355
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,554
Joey: Well... well, I know.
356
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,656
Just so excited I can't stand still.
357
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:49,460
[Siren wails, ceases]
358
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,295
Female voice: Alarm deactivated.
359
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,963
House secure.
360
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,434
I thought I told you to put those
creepy things back up in the attic.
361
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,704
I thought I did.
362
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:03,507
You don't think they came
down on their own, do you?
363
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:10,448
If I sing about leeches
maybe they'll go away, LA LA LA
364
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,716
LA LA LA LA LA LA leeches!
365
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:19,123
[Whimpers] Get off me, leeches.
366
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,494
I just saw Bree running and
screaming down the trail.
367
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,964
Well, I can't imagine
why you would think that.
368
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,632
I have never been better.
369
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,468
I have leeches, mom. I've got the leeches.
370
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,704
Oh, yes, you have leeches.
371
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:37,741
Well, lucky for you, every good
mom keeps a credit card handy
372
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,543
in case of an emergency.
373
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:43,314
- [Murmurs]
- Ugh.
374
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,250
Yet another reason to love credit cards.
375
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:47,485
[Chuckles]
376
00:19:49,287 --> 00:19:50,721
[Gasps]
377
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,757
Pioneer women did not carry credit cards.
378
00:19:55,660 --> 00:19:58,329
You are disqualified.
379
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,599
Please surrender your bonnet.
380
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,667
Oh, no, mom!
381
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,769
You have horrible bonnet-head.
382
00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:09,507
Oh, she's not wrong.
383
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,141
You look like a bison.
384
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:18,315
Well, Liv, you are the
last Rooney standing.
385
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:20,017
I couldn't be prouder of you.
386
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:23,554
You're our last chance to bring
home the golden butter churn.
387
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,491
I don't care about some
stupid golden butter churn.
388
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,627
I just wanted to spend time with my mom.
389
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,695
Oh, thank you.
390
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,197
You are talking about me, right?
391
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,665
[Laughs]
392
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,101
I guess I just got a little bit jealous
393
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,602
with all of you and Maddie's
mother-daughter time,
394
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,471
and I just wanted some for me.
395
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:44,441
I never scraped leeches
off of Maddie's legs.
396
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:46,377
[Laughs]
397
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,112
Thanks for taking care of me.
398
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,814
You are one butt bomb of mom.
399
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,683
[Both laugh]
400
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,053
Mama got her butt bomb back.
401
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,422
Boom! Dropped.
402
00:21:01,826 --> 00:21:04,662
You have no idea how
good it feels to be clean.
403
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:08,432
You have to work extra hard to scrub
leech slime off of your fingers.
404
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,467
[SIGHS]
405
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,503
Well, welcome home, mom.
406
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:16,807
While you were away, dad
did some manly things.
407
00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:20,444
Including upgrading your garbage disposal.
408
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,746
- You broke it, didn't you?
- Not the point.
409
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:26,617
Pete, are you sure you know how
to install a garbage disposal?
410
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,253
Not the point.
411
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:30,688
You should try it. It works great.
412
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,323
We tested it with all the
leftovers in the fridge
413
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,358
that we couldn't even get Parker to eat.
414
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:42,099
[Mechanical whirring]
415
00:21:50,408 --> 00:21:52,242
[Whirring ceases]
416
00:21:53,778 --> 00:21:59,583
This is why we have strict rules
about what goes into the disposal.
417
00:22:07,158 --> 00:22:08,892
I got to hand it to you, munch.
418
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:12,896
You came up with a ridiculous
idea and you made it work.
419
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:15,833
The best part is nobody found out.
420
00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:21,705
You two are so busted.
421
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:24,174
We're sorry. We should...
422
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,679
what do you know?
423
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:32,316
Oh, just that you
completely space-invaded me.
424
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:37,254
If you are going to use my favorite
hairbrush to brush out a clown wig,
425
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:41,458
at least remove the nasty
orange hair when you're done.
426
00:22:43,294 --> 00:22:45,462
Yeah, you got us.
427
00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:50,234
We were stealing brushes and
combing clown wigs all weekend.
428
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,636
Totally busted.
429
00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:53,804
Just don't let it happen again.
430
00:22:53,854 --> 00:22:58,404
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