Original subtitles

Is it just me, or is it really cold in here?

Well, here. Why don't you wear this?

Your letterman jacket?

Yeah. Oh.

You said you were cold.

I did. I am.

Brr. Cold.

(School bell rings)

Well, later, Rooney.

(Both stammer)

Do my crystal-clear

emerald-green eyes deceive me

or did Diggie just give you his letterman jacket?

Con-graz-ulations.

Okay, simmer down, Liv.

I was just cold. It doesn't mean anything.

It's so obvi he likes you, Maddie.

But do you think he like like likes me?

I think I know, but how do I like know know?

(Clears throat)

Well, he gave you his coat coat.

Maybe he's just confused as to how you feel

with all the "s'ups" and the "stuffs"

and the "bam whats" flying at him.

It's honestly amazing that he stuck around this long.

Just tell him you like him already.

I don't know, Liv.

I think Diggie and I are fine the way we are.

I mean, you're acting like every time we see each other

it's completely awkward.

Hey, Rooney.

Just forgot my wallet in my jacket.

- (Gasps) - Um...

Um... (Chuckles)

Oh.

Here you go.

Thank you.

- S'up? - Stuff.

Bam, what?

So what do you think he meant by "stuff"?

(Theme music plays)

Better in stereo

b... b... better in stereo

- I'm up with the sunshine - Let's go

- I lace up my high tops - Oh no

- slam dunk - Ready or not

yeah, show me what you got

- I'm under the spotlight - Holler

I dare you, come on and follow

you dance to your own beat

I'll sing the melody

when you say yea-ah-ah

I say no-oh-oh

when you say stop

all I want to do is go, go, go

you, you, the other half of me, me

the half I'll never be-e

the half that drives me crazy

you, you, the better half of me, me

the half I'll always need

but we both know

we're better in stereo.

Welcome...

From across the void of space

to rocketry club.

Rocketry club is for people with such diverse interests

as building rockets, launching rockets

and talking about rockets.

Ooh, we also occasionally draw rockets

we hope to one day build, launch and talk about.

Fellow rocketeers, I present to you

the viper xt.

(Applause)

Hey, Joey.

Nice bottle rocket. Burn!

Oh!

The problem with rocketry club

is my archnemesis Artie.

Yeah, that's right.

I have an archnemesis.

I'm kind of a big deal.

(Exhales)

The burn is on you, Artie.

The viper xt solidifies my rocketry club dominance.

You can call me

the rocket king. Wah!

Oh, I believe the title of rocket king

is mine.

(Cymbals crash)

(Applause)

Behold.

The falcon 500.

(Squawks)

Ooh, check it, my homies.

Your supercool mom just got the newest smartphone.

Yep. Just holding it makes me feel smart. Whoo!

Pretty strong flash on this baby.

Maybe you boys could show me

some of the more sophisticated a.P.P.S.

Well, here's your first lesson,

"supercool mom."

The homies pronounce it "apps."

Cool! You've got facegab.

That's a video chat.

I use it with all my friends.

Except Simon. He picks his nose,

and I don't need to see that up close.

Okay, here. I'll show you how to call Liv.

You click here, dial her number,

hope she doesn't realize it's you

and decide not to answer.

(Phone rings)

Hello?

Oh! Hey. Hello, Liv.

It's mom.

Guess where I'm calling you from?

I'm going to go with kitchen,

because I can see you...

Sitting in the kitchen.

Hey. Is that our hip-hop Sno-cone maker

beside your bed?

Uh, what Sno-cone maker?

What bed? (Gasps)

Who are you?

How dare they steal our Sno-cone maker?

Let's go rescue the notorious s.N.O.

Bad news from the exterminator, hon.

We've got wood-eating powder post beetles.

Oh. My grandmother had those in her old house.

I never saw that house.

Exactly.

They need to tent our place.

We've got to pack up anything we don't want pesticide on

and clear out for the weekend.

Ooh.

I'm thinking a last minute weekend getaway to Madison

so we can swim, shop, play, shop and shop.

But... This has to be a secret.

If Liv finds out we have bugs,

she will freak out.

Oh, Liv has an irrational fear of bugs.

When she was little, I read her the first three pages

of "Charlotte's web" and she passed out.

Last week, Liv was in the shower.

She saw a ladybug and... This happened.

Turns out it wasn't a ladybug.

It was a jelly bean.

I never know what's in my hair

until I rinse it out.

Ooh, tangerine.

So I'm gonna go on the Internet

and make us a hotel reservation

with my fab new phone. The future is now.

- (Phone beeping) - Oh, I don't like the future.

We saw the Sno-cone maker. Hand it over.

You'll never find it.

I found it.

- (Rap music playing) - Lemon, coconut

strawberry, lime

you make a Sno-cone while I rhyme

Both:

ho ho ho ho

who wants a Sno-cone?

And you wonder why we hid it from you.

(Phone rings)

Oh, it's mom facegabbing again.

She probably doesn't even know she called me.

I'm kind of excited to get out of this house.

I'm so ready for a change.

- Out of the house? - Shh.

- (Phone beeps) - And mute.

Now we can hear them, but they can't hear us.

What does "ready for a change" mean?

Isn't it obvious? They want to get rid of you.

Shh.

This is such a pain to pack everything up

and move out of the house.

It sounds like they sold the house and we're moving.

Moving? No, that can't be right.

I know the kids are gonna complain

about missing their friends,

but they're gonna love Madison.

Madison?!

Madison's two hours from here.

That's a completely different school

with no Diggies in it.

We have to be packed up and out of here by 4:00 tomorrow.

All: Tomorrow?!

How could they not tell us we're moving?

Wow.

Tomorrow's our last day in Stevens point.

Unacceptable.

Mom, dad,

- we heard you. - (Gasps)

What's that noise?

It's your children.

The ones you didn't consult about Madison.

Oh.

(Whispers) The phone was on?

Stupid a.P.P.S

guys, we thought you'd freak out less

if we surprised you with the news.

Well, we're freaking.

You have to call this off.

Sorry. Everything's paid for.

We just got a really sweet deal.

This is an outrage.

Pack your swimsuits. There's a pool.

Ooh, game changer. I'm in.

Wow.

We are really moving.

Yep, it's our last day here.

(Spits)

What? It's somebody else's problem now.

I wouldn't sit in that chair either.

Well, I'm making today count.

I'm gonna take Artie down and leave the school

the undisputed rocket king.

Way to go, munch.

You're an inspiration... To no one.

Okay. (Scoffs)

So what are you doing with your last day?

I've got a few loose ends to tie up.

The less you know, the better.

I might poop with the door open,

but I still have my secrets.

I stayed up all night building a brand-new rocket.

It's perfect...

right down to the decal of the aliens waving in the windows.

Hi, guys.

If I only have one day left here,

I'm gonna tell Diggie how I feel about him.

I'm going to stare right into those

beautiful brown eyes and say

"Diggie, s'up?"

For my last day, I'm gonna convince mom

that I'm sick so I can stay behind

and say good-bye to my childhood home.

126.8.

I'm lucky to be alive.

(Coughs)

And that's why you never floss in space.

Think about it.

(Music playing through phone)

Rocketeers, feast your eyes

on my new rocket.

The "Artie is a wad-bag."

(Applause)

You can't call your rocket that.

Well, I've made a lot of rockets, Artie.

Could you say the name out loud

so I know which one you're talking about?

Nice try.

But do you take me for a fool?

No. I take you for a wad-bag.

It's time we settle who the rocket king is

once and for all.

Speak forth your challenge!

I'm speaking forth, baby.

The falcon 500

versus "Artie is a wad-bag"

in a hallway rocket chair race.

I accept your challenge.

(Squawks)

Wait, when are we doing this again?

I'm a little overscheduled today.

Like 3:00?

Does 3:30 work?

3:30 by the water fountain.

- Or the one that works? - The one that works, duh.

- Well, I didn't know. - Well, now you do.

- Fine. Challenge accepted. - Great.

Goodbye, old house.

We just barely got to know each other again

and now we're torn apart.

Will you comfort me, couch,

collector of afternoon dreams

and loose change?

(Cellphone rings)

(Groans) Facegabbing again, mom?

(Clears throat)

Hey, Pete. It's care bear.

I just saw you walk down the hall.

Those new jeans are looking good.

- (Grunts) - (Phone beeps)

And now I don't have to pretend to be sick.

(Clears throat)

Oh. Au revoir, stained glass window.

You colored my world. (Chuckles)

I remember when I was...

Parker, what are you doing?

I'm filling in my tunnels.

Okay, perhaps I should have been more specific.

What?!

I've been digging an intricate

network of tunnels around the house.

At first, it was an escape from the monotony

of everyday life,

but then it became an actual escape

in case stuff got real.

You've got a serious party going on up there, don't you?

Hey, thanks to these tunnels,

I can get from my bedroom

to the bathroom in three steps.

- Oh. - Sometimes, every second counts.

I decided I should write Diggie a note,

but I wanted to do something memorable.

And he left his basketball at my house,

so I returned it

with the words "I like you. - Maddie"

written on it.

What?

That's as sweet as mad dog Rooney gets.

Whoo! I gotta shower, guys.

I'm sweating like a pig.

I'll see you later, all right?

Oh hey, Maddie returned my basketball.

Okay.

He's reading it.

Oh man, she got it all dirty.

(Clears throat)

S'up, Diggie.

Oh, hey, Rooney.

So, I returned your basketball.

Did you see what was on it?

Oh, that?

Who cares?

What?

Yeah, whatever.

It's not a big deal.

Not a big deal?

To me this was like the biggest deal ever.

Yeah, you know what?

This was a mistake.

Wow. What was that all about?

Yeah, I'm talking to myself in the hall.

Baffling girl moment. Move on.

All right.

Once around the hall.

Winner is declared now and forever

the rocket king.

Holla!

And the loser is declared Joey.

Burn!

Hey, how about we make things

even more interesting?

Let's say the winner

gets to publicly humiliate the loser

for an entire week?

Joke's on him because, win or lose,

next week I'll be in Madison.

Future burn.

Yeah, he'll feel that one tomorrow.

Get ready to eat my exhaust.

You'll never catch the falcon.

(Squawks)

You'll never catch the wad-bag.

(Brays)

That's the sound a wad-bag makes.

Oh, wait.

You already knew that.

Why is everyone in your family acting so weird today?

The rooneys are moving to Madison tonight.

You're moving? What?

Yeah, I know.

I took it pretty hard myself.

But you have to embrace it, Diggie.

After all, if nothing ever changed,

there would be no butterflies.

Yeah, I'll miss you too, buddy.

Let's light this candle.

(Beeps)

(Kids cheering)

As I looked at my fellow rocketeers,

I realized if I became rocket king

and left the next day, who would lead them?

I had to let Artie win.

He was my Nemesis,

but he was also the club's best hope.

(Screams)

- (Crashing) - All: Ooh!

Losing the race bruised my pride.

Smashing into the stairs bruised my shoulder,

my knees and my kidney.

(Cheering)

Yeah! Whoo!

I won.

I am the rocket king.

Lead them well, wad-bag.

Lead them well.

Whoo! Yeah!

Were you just gonna move away without saying goodbye?

Well, I was gonna tell you,

but then I got really hurt

when you blew me off after reading my note.

The one that I wrote on the basketball,

like one does when one is terrified

of getting hurt, like one did.

I must have smudged it with my basketball pig sweat.

What did it say?

I like you, Diggie.

I like you too, Maddie.

(Chuckles)

Coming through, people.

Tunnels don't fill themselves.

Ignore him. Stay focused.

Okay.

If you're moving, I want you to have this.

And not because you're cold.

But because... This means something to me.

Like you do.

Diggie!

I knew you'd come by.

Couldn't let your best pal leave town

without saying goodbye, huh?

(Clears throat)

(SIGHS)

I really like you, man.

Oh.

The doorjamb where mom and dad marked our heights.

I was always an eighth of an inch taller than Maddie,

not that it matters... But it does.

Listen up!

We have some big news.

Maddie and Diggie are officially

in like with each other.

(Squeals) Finally.

The birth of miggie.

Yeah, don't do that.

Aw, I kind of like it.

I hate it.

(Chuckles)

I'm so glad you guys are finally together.

(Groans) This is too much.

I mean, we can't leave.

Our entire lives are here.

I don't care what mom and dad say.

I am staging a live-in.

Who's with me?

Hey, kids.

So I see you guys have packed.

We are not letting you sell the house

and move us to Madison.

Sell the house?

Where on earth did you get that idea?

From when you facegabbed us.

We heard your whole devious plan.

Yeah.

And I heard you talking about dad's new pants.

(Grunts) Gross!

When your father looks even remotely fashionable

I have to encourage that.

It's true.

It's like training a seal.

And second of all,

I don't know what you think you heard

on facegab,

but we are not moving to Madison.

We're just going there for the weekend.

You mean I filled in my tunnels for nothing?

Tunnels?

Stuff just got real.

(Gasps)

Wait.

You're saying I have to go to school with Artie

on Monday?

I will be upstairs packing for Madison...

And crying.

Mostly crying.

Why were you keeping this trip such a secret?

All right. Might as well come clean.

Exterminators are tenting our house.

We're infested with beetles.

Bugs?

Wait. You can't exterminate the beetles.

I spent forever breeding those suckers.

This whole thing is your fault?

Don't blame me. Blame the beetles.

You know what? I'm gonna go have a word with them.

Get out of that hole right now.

We need to talk, young man!

We know you're in there.

I'm going in.

Wow.

So... Looks like you're staying.

We've said some things.

We sure did.

I guess things are gonna be different from now on?

Yeah, I guess.

So... s'up?

Stuff.

(Chuckles)

Bam, what?

(Giggles)

Whoa.

How did I get here?

Joey Rooney,

as loser of the great rocket chair race,

let the public shaming begin.

(Cymbals crash)

(Students laughing)

You have to wear this all week.

So remember to keep it clean, Rooney.

Oops.

Chocolate burn.

Well, there's no shame in free pudding.

(School bell rings)

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