All language subtitles for Late.Night.Double.Feature.2016

- And that was how we
saw our city tonight

from your second
highest rated news team

in the Peterborough and
Cortha Lakes Region.

- Stay tuned next for Dr.
Nasty's Cavalcade of Horror

on TV13.

- What do they have on the
double feature tonight, Glenn?

- Well first up we have
a film about a family

of cannibals, followed by
one about a male sadist

for hire escort.

- Ew.

- Will you be staying up late
to watch that one, Josie?

- Absolutely not.

The host of that show
is one sick fuck.

- Did she just say
fuck on the air?

- Don't worry, no one's
watching this anyway.

- So what the hell
happened to the news desk?

- Director sold it
to make a movie.

- Naturally.

- Set redress in 20 seconds.

- Okay, who's been
stealing my beer nuts?

- Come with me, doctor,
you only have one minute.

- I'm serious on the nut thing.

- What is she doing?

- Oh, gosh, not again, doctor,
come on, we have to be on.

Come on, we have to
get you on stage.

- I'm going to have
to say hello, please.

Wouldn't be polite otherwise.

Hello.

- I'm new here.

- Yes, I could tell, I've
never seen you before.

- Can you show me the ropes?

- I can show you
a lot of things.

Just be in my dressing
room the next break, okay.

- There you go.

- Get out of the way, I'm
trying to get my gloves on.

- Get your position.

- It's live
television, you know.

I've been doing this for years.

- The
Dr. Nasty show.

- You always get in my
way, what are you, new?

- Hold on.

- Hello my troubled patients.

Dr. Nasty here with another
late night double feature.

Two really sick movies to
keep you up till morning.

I'm your resident doctor
and this is my assistant,

the lovely Nurse Nasty.

What's our first
prescription for Ms. Nasty?

- First, we have the cannibal
classic, Dinner for Monsters.

- Ooh, well you look
good enough to eat.

Perhaps we should carve you up.

I think I'll skip the main
course and go straight

to your dessert.

- Remember when this
show used to be good?

- Nope.

- So, sit back and take
your double prescription

for horror right
after this message.

- No, still driving,
the meeting went late.

I forgot.

I forgot to book the
entertainment for the party.

No, I remember who it was.

It's a clown.

Does anyone like clowns anymore?

Is that a thing?

Are you sure that
that's what he wants.

Uncle Billy, right?

It's Uncle Bobby's, yeah, I
got the poster right here.

- Atta boy.

Got a good lot to go.

Bang it, you did it.

- No, you didn't.

- Next on TV13, the
feature Dinner for Monsters,

then coming up at
2, Slit, followed

by the Farm Report at 5 a.m.

- How long have I
been sitting here for?

Too long for a plate like this.

Just as I expected, cold.

- I'm sorry.

I can get you another.

- No, don't apologize.

I've been coming here
for the past six months

and it's no way close to
the way your father left it.

If I were you, I'd close up
shop, because to be quite frank,

there's probably more
flavor in my right arm

than any dish I've
had here today.

Good day.

- Like you even
need to eat more.

- Fuck!

- Fuck!

What?

Hello, am I speaking

to the restaurant's head chef?

- Yeah, it's him.

- This is Vincent
Debark calling in regards

to the private
dinner party tonight.

- You have the
wrong number buddy.

Dinner for 6, yes.

I was actually just prepping
some stuff right now.

Getting real busy around here.

I had to hire some
extra help actually.

Just to remind you,

dinner should be ready at my
hunting lodge by midnight.

Feel free to bring whatever
you need for tools,

we'd like to help you.

Just remember we're
providing the roast.

- Sure, yeah, perfect.

Well, I'll see you tonight.

I'm excited to meet you.

And by the way, you know
what they say, bon appetit.

Hello?

Hello?

Asshole.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm the chef tonight.

I'm just looking for Vincent.

I was hired for the dinner.

- Yeah, of course.

That's too bad.

Let in our guest.

- Why don't you come in?

- Ah, our chef has arrived.

- Thanks.

- How do you do?

I'm Vincent Debook, we spoke
earlier over the phone.

- It's a pleasure,
thanks for having me.

- Is it?

- Sorry?

- Is it a pleasure?

It's just, on the phone
earlier, you seemed disgruntled.

- Well.

- Don't worry, perfectly
understandable.

I mean, why would a man
like you want to spend

his evening working for a
rich and powerful couple?

I mean surely you, of
all people, have better

things to do with your time.

In fact, it might even save
your life for you to just

turn around and leave right now.

- Right, yeah.

- I'm just busting
your chops, chef.

You're staying with us tonight.

- Yes, you are.

Don't mind my husband.

He clearly lacks any
and all social graces.

Carmen.

How do you do?

I read about your
father in the paper.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

We were big fans
of his restaurant.

Let's hope his talent
runs in the family.

- Thanks.

This is quite the place
you guys have here.

- Aren't you sweet?

Yes, we thought it
rustic and serene,

so of course we had to buy it.

- What do you guys do exactly?

- Entrepreneurs of a sort.

Now can I ask you a
personal question?

- Sure, yeah.

- Do you eat meat?

- Do I eat meat, yeah.

- Of course you do.

After all you're a chef
and I don't suppose

there are many chefs who
don't, now are there?

Now I hate to preach,
but I'm afraid my friends

and I just don't see
the pleasure in it.

I mean, surely there
are alternatives,

substitutions one could make
which are equally satisfying

if not better than
animal, don't you agree.

- Well, you know as a chef,
I'm trained to accommodate

any dietary restrictions
that you guys might have.

- My friends and I, we just
don't feel that animals deserve

such vile treatment.

I mean, why should they
have to suffer and die

just for our selfish
tastes for meat?

Take our friend on
the wall over here.

A holdover from the previous
tenant, I assure you.

So proud.

So majestic.

Once.

Now just a tacky
bit of furnishing.

I keep thinking I
should take him down,

but wherever would I put him.

Whatever would I
put in his place?

- An ex-employee, perhaps?

- And let me ask you this.

Do cattle cause war?

- No.

- Cattle do not cause war,
no, no, all farm animals

are guilty of is feeding
an every growing insatiable

disgusting vile race-

- Darling, darling,
don't work yourself up.

Shall we take a tour
through to the kitchen.

- Yeah, sure, sure.

- This way.

- Ah, kitchen.

- Holy shit.

- It's all yours for tonight.

It's gorgeous, it's
state of the art.

- Yes, well, you should
have everything you need.

Let's check out the roast.

Now, chef, the meal we're
asking you to prepare

may not be one you're used to.

- Yes, we prefer a
specific type of cuisine.

- Are you guys vegan or?

- No, not exactly.

No, we prefer to
dine on humano carne.

- Humano carne, is that
like Italian, German?

- Sometimes.

- What the fuck, what's this.

- It's like how the French
refer to fattened duckling.

It's fois Gras.

Just somehow sounds tasty.

- Are you kidding me?

- No, why would we?

Wouldn't you agree
that it's far smarter

on cutting back the population
rather than feeding it?

- No, I don't think
it's very smart to kill

a human being and eat it.

Okay, you guys are sick.

You're sick.

- Let's be civilized
about this, chef.

My party and I are paying
you a handsome sum of money

to be here tonight.

- I don't care.

- Oh, yes, you do, chef.

You do.

You see, I don't just
hire anyone without

checking up on them first.

Let's review.

The chef here was once the
darling of the culinary academy,

but add a few years
of heaving drinking,

a few failed marriages, a
failed restaurant of your own

and now, as I understand
it, a second restaurant,

inherited from your
father upon his death,

also on it's last course.

Now take a look at the
man on the counter.

He's nobody.

Nothing but a slab of meat.

No one will ever
trace him back to you

or to this meal.

- How do I know that?

- By taking a look at me.

Take a look around you, chef.

I am a man of wealth,
respect and taste.

I own four such properties
and this humble lodge

will soon be renovated to
be the most state of the art

in modern cuisine.

Do you really think a man in
my position would jeopardize

all of that?

I understand your
concern, chef, I do.

But you've been on this
planet long enough to know

that there are two
kinds of people.

You can be the hunter, like me.

Or you can be the hunted,
like our friend on the slab.

Decide what you'd rather be.

- Come darling,
let us get ready.

Our guests will be here soon.

- All right, my dear.

I think chef and I
understand each other now.

Do call us when dinner's ready.

I'm famished.

- Go for the ribs.

It's probably the
easiest way to do it.

Slice.

One slice, it's done.

Just a piece of meat.

Just a piece of meat.

Just a piece of meat.

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing?

How can you fucking do this?

It's him or me.

This guy's already dead.

He's already fucking dead.

If I don't do this,
I'll be fucking dead.

- So I said to him, I said,
"If you won't eat it, I will."

Oh, oh, oh, my
friend, my friend.

Allow me to introduce
tonight's chef.

- How do you do? Hello.

- Now, chef, what
is our appetizer?

- Yes, we're awfully
hungry, aren't we?

- Well, I thought we'd
start the night off

with something a
bit more lighter,

a personal favorite of mine.

Something I like to
call a Greek salad.

- Where's the Greek?

- Yeah, I really don't
think there's any meat

in that salad at all.

- Well, that's because
there's no meat in the recipe,

but, you know, studies show
that if you start the night off

with something a bit
more lighter and clean,

you're consuming a
lot less calories.

- Ch, ch, ch, less calories?

- Did he just call us fat?

- No.

- I think he is.

- I came here for
dinner with my friends

and now I'm being insulted.

Vincent, who is this guy?

- That's not what I'm saying.

- How would you feel if we said
something like that to you?

- Yeah, you're not that
thin, either, buster.

- I'm not calling you fat!

- Chef!

Excuse me.

May I have a word, please.

Excuse us.

Now I'm sure if Vincent and
I were clear enough earlier,

but you're here
to cook one thing.

I don't care if it's your left
arm or that man's over there,

but my husband, our guests and
I expect meat on our plates.

Now, it's my turn to warn you.

If you fail, I can assure you,

you will be on
next week's plate.

Do you understand?

Good luck.

- I can't do it.

I can't do it.

- Okay, come on, let's
just get this done.

- What are you doing?

- Look, I have seen a
lot of chefs come in here

and very few leave.

I just, I don't want you
to be another one of them.

So, let's get cooking.

- Let's listen to some music.

♪ Baby, please don't go ♪

♪ Baby, please don't go ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

♪ And leave me here, you
know it's cold out here ♪

♪ Babe, I'm way down here ♪

♪ You know I'm way down here ♪

♪ Babe, I'm way down here
on old Parchment Farm ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

♪ You know it's cold down here ♪

♪ Baby it's cold out here ♪

♪ Baby it's cold out here
on old Parchment Farm ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

♪ Baby please don't
go and leave me here ♪

♪ You know it's cold out here ♪

♪ I'm half fit down here ♪

♪ I'm half fit down here ♪

♪ I'm half fit down here ♪

♪ On old Parchment Farm ♪

♪ Baby please don't go ♪

- Yes, and you
should see the plot of land

that we have behind the lodge.

- Dinner is served.

- Oh, chef, what
have you prepared for us?

- We have a meal to die for.

- We're all certainly famished.

Please, tell us what
we'll be digging into.

- Our entree this evening
is a man roast with rosemary

and thyme with a side
of baked potato infused

with garlic and bloody gravy.

Ladies and gentleman,
bon appetit.

Where did you find meat

of this quality?

- Well, you see it's
not in the body itself,

but how the meat is prepared.

We made sure he had the most
painful and shocking death.

Isn't that right?

- Yes, it's a little trick
I learned from the Chinese.

You see they sometimes give
the animals stressful deaths

to make the meat taste better.

So, we simply raped his wife
and murdered his children

in front of him and
then tortured him for

and hour and a half
before flash freezing him.

- Overkill.

- Excuse me?

- Nothing.

- No, no, please, by
all means, speak up.

- I was just thinking out loud.

Is it really necessary
to do all that?

- Well, I don't know,
why don't you try chef?

- No, I'm okay.

- But we insist, all of us.

In fact, we won't have
another bite until you do.

- No really, I'm okay guys.

- One bite chef,
no more, no less.

- You're not really the
negotiating type, are you?

- Sit.

- May I?

Wouldn't want you to get dirty.

- For you, chef's first bite.

Let us all revel at the
awesome chef as he samples

his first bite of
Human Con Carne.

- But Vincent, you haven't
told our guests the best part.

We froze the child.

- Carmen never could keep
a secret, yes, that's true.

I wanted to save this for later,

but next week we are all
dining on honey baby.

- Vincent do something!

- How's it taste guys?

How's it taste?

Hey pretty boy.

There you go!

- We'll be right back.

- Hey there horror
fans, Ken Riding here

from KMR and Associates,
your mortgage broker.

We'll get you back to Dr.
Nasty in just a minute,

but we all know what really
keeps you up at night

and that is paying too
much on your mortgage

for your new home,
but don't worry.

KMR has you covered.

We'll slay that boogy
man because we've got

killer mortgage rates.

I slash the high prices
of the big banks.

Choke out the competition
with my great deals.

- Thank you KMR.

- Thank you.

- Thank you KMR.

- Thank you KMR.

- So, horror fans, for
killer mortgage rates,

come and sign with KMR.

You'll get more than
what you bargained for.

- Now back to Dr.
Nasty's Cavalcade of Horror.

- Hey, what's going on?

- Beautiful, isn't it.

You won't find a better
selection on any menu.

- Say one word and
this bitch gets it.

- You asked us what
we did for a living.

Let me tell you chef,
there's quite the market

for human meat.

Well, feast your eyes
on a year's supply.

Carmen and I have been
working on our collection

for some time.

It was difficult at
first, culling the herd,

without anyone noticing,
learning the optimal

means of harvesting, but
with time and practice,

of course, plenty of
that, we made it an art.

The one thing we never
got the hang of, though,

was the cooking, which, of
course is why you are here.

If you won't be one of
us, you'll be one of them.

- I was insane to
cook you that meal.

- You're just like your father.

- You didn't know my father.

- Maybe not all that well,
but I know he was a man

with very great taste.

- What did you
think of the meat?

- Let's have a little taste.

- No, no, no, no.

- One more slab of
meat for the meat pile.

- I got something else in mind.

- Well, chef, I don't know
how you did it, but bravo.

- Thank you, sir.

- The flavor, the
presentation, the taste.

All of it is just outstanding.

It's discovery of an
urban flavor that I just

can't put my finger on.

You do have to tell me, what's
the secret to this roast?

- Well, if you must know,
it's a little something

I like to call humano carne.

- Well, I've never
heard of that before,

but it's delectable.

How about another slice
please, but this time

I want it bloodier.

- Coming right up.

- Oh, baby.

- Gopher Sam.

Where are you Sam?

- Yeah, Shawn, I'll
have these call sheets

done in a moment.

- Never mind that, cue the
doctor, we're on in five.

- Orson, Shawn's
already talked to me.

I'll have everything
after the next film.

- I can get the doctor, you
just get ready to go live.

- I just found out about these

after movie guests
an hour a ago.

I can't even find
their IMDB page.

Are they even real actors?

- You work too hard.

- Where'd I put my boobs?

Wow.

I bet that bitch has my wig.

- Uh, uh.

- Give me back my wig.

John we're on the
air on four minutes.

- I was almost done.

And don't call me John.

- Your turn.

- No.

Getting a little
young aren't we John?

- That girl's got talent.

You on the other hand
need to watch yourself.

What are you, pushing 30?

A few prospects working
on a bargain basement show

like this.

Me, I know I'm washed
up, but I can still get

just about any starlet to
fuck an old geezer like me

for a part.

Think I'm any different than
that director friend of yours?

You watch.

He's gonna kick you
to the curb the moment

he's done with you.

We all have our part to play.

You need to learn your place.

- Okay, ready, and 10, 9, 8-

- Where my cast?

- They're getting in position.

- Cue the doctor.

- And we're live.

- Rock and roll.

- I bet that last movie made
you lose your midnight snack.

Let's see if Ms.
Nasty can help us.

Ms. Nasty likes to feel a
little pain from the doctor.

- No, doctor, no.

- Our next rarely seen
feature is called Slit.

For all you late night sloths.

- Right after this commercial.

- He was half man, half beast,

living off the world
he loved so dear.

Encephalopithecus.

A man and a woman
steeped in the throws

of their own passions.

Little did they know
they were not alone

when they soiled
his sacred ground.

From Felix Broncowitz, producer
of I Suck From Your Arteries

and Dance Recital Massacre
comes a new generation

of backwoods terror.

Filmed in glorious
Betavision black and white.

He hears you, he sees
you, he wants you.

Encephalopithecus.

Come see the film and
survive the terror

the Toronto Film Herald
calls relatively in focus.

Encephalopithecus.

He's been waiting
for you to die.

Now playing at Diamond Cinemas,

214 Townhill Road, Peterborough.

Now to our feature presentation.

- In
further news, police revealed

more information regarding
the gruesome discovery

of a mutilated human
body found in a dumpster

behind the local shopping mall.

Police say that the body
is believed to be that

of a man, but
indication of gender

was difficult to ascertain
as the body has suffered

a number of severe lacerations.

The body was found in the
early hours of Tuesday morning

by county workers when
emptying the dumpster.

Police announced today
that they are now treating

the case as a homicide.

Initial conclusions released
by the coroner's office

suggested the cause of the
laceration and dismemberment

would have to have been a
long and sharp instrument,

most likely a kitchen knife
or other cutting tool.

Though no further information
has been made public yet,

police say they are working
closely with the forensics

and missing peoples
department in order

to identify the remains.

However, due to the
state of the remains,

this may take some time.

Police have conducted
searches of the local area

and questioned locals where
the remains were discovered.

As part of the ongoing
investigation, police are urging

anyone who may have some
information to please go forward

with anything that
may be valuable

to the ongoing investigation.

We will of course keep
you update on the story

as information comes to light.

- You hear about this guy?

- What guy?

All over the 12:00 news.

- Good news or bad news?

- What do you think?

TV said they found the deceased
in a fast food dumpster

behind the mall.

Indignity to the remains.

Internet says the killer had
a knife, used it everywhere.

Genitals removed, face.

- I get it.

- What's the matter?

You don't like hearing
about your competition?

- My competition?

Where'd you hear this shit?

- Man, it's the
word on the street.

- I don't do shit out and about.

- You didn't do it did you?

You wouldn't kill somebody?

- Jesus, you're paranoid.

You really think that's me.

I don't even know
what I would charge

for something like that.

- But you cut, don't you.

- This is a niche
service, Michael.

Not a thrill, it's a business.

I relieve people.

I'm not crazy.

- Are you sure?

- Not at work.

What are you, paranoid bastard?

- Well, we're all a
little funny aren't we?

- I suppose.

- You ought to get a
doctor's office or something

with a waiting room, you know.

- With magazines.

- Yeah, and a sexy
bitch secretary.

- To be honest, I don't
really mind the hike.

It's nice to get out of the
house very once in a while.

- Yeah, for what?

That shit hole out there?

No thanks.

- You got too much to
occupy yourself with here.

- That's the idea.

So, what kind of degenerate
you got lined up next?

- Some girl downtown.

She called me last night.

She's new, so we'll
see how it goes.

- She cute?

- It was out of the
blue when she called.

Said she needed it bad.

- Yeah, I've been there.

- Michael, you haven't given
out my phone number, have you?

- Well, no, 'cause
somebody said it was

against the rules.

You got to trust me more man,

you're the one with the knife.

You don't know her, so what?

- So what?

I'm not going to open myself
up to every pervert fuck

wasting in the alley, okay?

- I didn't give your
number out to anybody.

I don't know anybody else
that's even into this shit.

You'll be okay.

Can we go back to you
trusting me again?

I'm sorry I asked you
about killing that guy.

Listen, I need it.

Your services.

- And I need yours.

- You thief.

- See you next week.

More updates regarding

the human remains
discovered in a dumpster

behind the King Fisher shopping
mall have just come in.

The police have announced
that they've been able

to identify the body
as that of 26-year old

Jeffrey Williford, a resident

from the lower west end of town.

His next of kin
have been contacted,

but as of yet have
not issued a statement

about the discovery.

Friends say that he worked nights
at a fast food restaurant,

including the night prior
to his body's discovery.

Police are questioning his
co-workers and friends,

but continue their request
for members of the public

to come forward if the
have any information

that could help with
the investigation.

We'll keep you informed
of any further updates.

- Hey, mister, do you have
some change for the bus, man?

- No, sorry.

- Like a five or anything
that will help me,

you know what I mean.

- I said fuck off,
I'm using my change.

- You got a bad attitude, man.

- Yeah, well.

- Excuse me.

Are you Bradley?

- So how do you like
the building so far?

- Good, before
the power was cut off.

I don't know, it's all right.

It's a hideout for me.

- How long you been here?

- Not long.

I haven't really laid down
roots or anything, you know.

You got roots?

- I got piles of
junk of that's what you mean.

I don't know about roots.

- This is it.

My bachelor pad.

Do you want anything?

- Like what?

- Like a drink.

- We should get started.

It's our first time
working together

and I'm gonna go over
a couple of rules.

- Where do you want me to?

- Lay down and I can go
your back or some sit

if they like it
done to their legs.

- What do you like?

- Whatever you're paying.

- So how does one get into
this sort of profession?

- Demand.

- So you're a cutting whore?

- I'm an entrepreneur.

- It's amazing what you can
find to do in this city.

- Look, I got two rules.

- Oh, promise, I
won't be naughty.

- I'm sure you won't.

That phone number you have,

that needs to stay a secret.

I don't know what kind
of crowd you run with

or how you got my
number, but that never

should have happened.

There's a lot of
weirdos in this town

and I'm not about
to start handing

my information out to them.

Rule number two, because
it's the first time,

pay me first.

So what would you like?

- My back.

And then I'll flip over.

- Get undressed.

- I'm ready.

- You hired me at your own risk.

- Yeah.

- All right, my instruments
have been sanitized

thoroughly after each session.

That being said, if you don't
take care of your wounds

properly, I can't protect
against infection.

You understand?

- Yes.

- Where do you want it?

- Right here.

- I'll only go as far
as you want me to.

One more thing.

If you record any of
this or report it,

I will catch up to you.

- And do what?

How does a cutter
punish somebody?

- Are you ready?

- Yeah.

- You okay?

- No, keep going, keep going.

- Maybe you'd prefer
a different knife.

- Brii stop.

- There's magic
there, just listen up.

You and I can do this together.

I saw the way that
you looked at me.

I saw the way that
you looked at my arms.

Torture anyone Bradley.

- Brii stop!

That's enough.

I'm done here.

I'm sorry.

You might have got
the wrong impression.

I think it's best that I leave.

- You're not going anywhere.

- Ah!

- That's more like it.

What's the matter Bradley?

You know how many
guys would kill

to be with a sweet girl like me?

Someone who's looking
for a good time?

I thought you would understand
that, you selfish fuck!

What's the matter Bradley?

Am I not pretty enough for you?

What's the matter Bradley?

Am I not pretty enough for you?

Huh?

Am I?

What about now Bradley?

Well, am I?

- Aw, fuck.

Aw fuck.

Aw fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Atlanta Pizza.

- I need a large pizza,
525 Western Heights,

Apartment 2B.

- Okay,
what would you like on it?

- I don't give a shit,
just give it here fast.

Okay, that'll be 14-

- Fuck.

Aw, fuck.

Fuck!

- Shit.

- You stay there.

You know, I think you and I
got off on the wrong foot.

I just don't think
you understand.

I'm actually a pretty
fucking smart girl, Bradley.

I've just been fucked
over too many times.

You know what?

We do it to ourselves.

Our fate, we just don't
realize until it's too late

and we start having flashbacks
to when we were kids.

Then you got the lies of
your mother and the scars

from your father
splitting your insides

and pulling everything
from inside you to opposite

ends of the room.

You know what?

You realize that you
would rather be crushed

like a coreless fruit
in an angry god's hand.

You just want to die.

You cut from the outside in.

You try to get to what's
inside and kill that.

You, guys like you, Brad,
you just keep cutting.

You don't fucking care
about getting to the inside.

You just keep cutting.

Guys like you take
whatever the fuck they want

and then they fuck off and
they leave girls like me

to sit around and hate
themselves afterwards.

We're the ones sitting
there hating ourselves,

but you're the one
who's fucking us up.

You keep cutting, but do
you actually think about

what you're doing to yourself?

Don't you know that you're
just hurting yourself

and you're going to end
up with this in the end?

Huh?

What would you have done
if you had somebody like me

the first time that you
ever dragged your blade

across some soul-less,
helpless little fuck

who just wanted to
feel something again.

But you don't stop.

You don't fucking stop, do you.

Well, it's not your
turn anymore, Brad.

Yeah.

It's my turn.

How about we start doing
things my way, hmm?

How about that.

How about you sit
there, you sit there

and be good and quiet this time.

Yeah, we'll do things my way.

You like that?

Yeah?

What's wrong,
what's wrong, Brad?

Am I pretty enough for you?

Fuck you.

- Hello?

- Are you Michael?

- What the fuck?

Wake up, we got dead air.

- Go to camera one.

Okay, we'll go to camera two.

- Wasn't that just
painfully scary.

Makes me tingle in
all the wrong places

just thinking about it.

How about you Nurse Nasty?

- Oh, yes, doctor.

Stay tuned for our
interview segment

where I'll be talking to-

- You, Nurse Nasty?

Are you sure that your
empty little brain

can handle that all on your own?

- Of course with
your help, doctor.

- Right, my help.

Some people like a
little throbbing pain,

don't they Nurse Nasty.

- Yes, doctor.

I know I do.

I bet you do.

I bet you like it
when people use you

for their own ends like a
whore, wouldn't you say?

You know, wait, no,
no, no, I'm wrong.

At least a whore gets some
kind of payoff in the end.

- Stick to the script
you washed up alcoholic.

- Nurse Nasty.

You shouldn't talk like that.

You've been very, very naughty

and I think I'm going
to have to punish you.

- John, no.

- Shit.

Cut to commercial.

- Okay, what the
hell is going on.

- Hey, it's show biz.

- You asshole.

- All right, everybody
just calm down.

Orson get her out
of this contraption.

- Is that blood?

I'm bleeding.

Oh, you know that
you're fired right?

- Says the girl who
takes the garbage out

at the end of the night.

- Oh, I can so have you fired.

- Go ahead.

I'd much rather to have
you pay me to sit at home

than to have to read that
shit off the teleprompter.

In fact, how about I leave now.

- No, John.

All right, everybody,
let's just take a breath.

No one is firing anybody.

- But Shawn, did you see
what that asshole did to me?

- I'll talk to you
about this later.

- Orson.

No, not later.

You need to fucking
fire him now.

- Sam, I said I'll talk
to you about this later.

- Uh, we're supposed
to be on in one minute.

- Right, put on
the extended spot

and get set up for
the interviews.

And you, John, for Christ's
sake, just sober up, man.

- How are you doing?

- How do you think I'm doing?

I'm just got whipped by a drunk
maniac on live television,

Shawn, and you're telling me
that I have to back out there

and take more of it.

You should have
fucking fired him.

- He has an iron clad contract.

We can't afford paying him
and to hire a replacement.

- I can do the show
on my own, John,

you know I could.

I practically do it already.

- I know, you're the
best actress I know.

But we need him for this show,

at least for a
little bit longer.

- I can't do this anymore.

- I know.

I know.

And you know what?

I hate this as much as you do.

And if we weren't so close
to getting the financing

to get our feature
film off the ground,

you know what?

I would tel that son of a
bitch to fuck right off.

- You've been telling
me the same lines

for the last five years, Shawn.

But you know what?

What you did out there,
sticking up to that monster,

that was the last fucking straw.

- We need him or our
investors will walk.

- I don't care about
the movie or the show,

any of it Shawn.

I'm done.

- What are you doing?

- Packing.

- So you're just leaving?

After all the work we've done?

- We, what we Shawn?

Do we even have a relationship?

- All I know is that we
need to focus on work.

- And it's my work, my
ideas that has gotten

us this far and you know
what, you've just been along

for the girls and the parties.

I'm done, okay,
and I'm not going

to be your work
horse any longer.

- I don't think
of you like that.

- Yes, you do.

You know what?

When I go Shawn, all
of this goes with me.

Like making your movie without
the production schedule,

the tax credit forms, you
know, the call sheets,

you might need those Shawn.

- Okay, Sam, come here.

Come here.

I'm sorry.

That bastard really
hurt you, didn't he?

If it means that much
to you, I'll fire him.

- Really?

- Yes.

Look, he's replaceable.

It's you that I need.

We're a team, remember?

- What about his contract?

- Just don't worry
about that, okay.

We good?

- No, you can be a
fucking bastard sometimes,

you know that right?

- I know but that's
why you love me.

- Sorry, they need
you on the set.

We go live in one minute.

- Thanks Orson.

Look, baby, why don't you just
sit this one out, all right?

I'll let John deal
with the interviews

and then I'll give him
the good news after.

- Yeah, as long as I get to
be there when you fire him.

- Deal.

Orson, take her somewhere
where she can be comfortable,

maybe put some ice on her back.

- Thanks.

- Okay, you crazy kids.

We've got two guests that
were on both of the features.

Can you introduce yourselves?

- I'm Danny, I played
a person in the barn

on Dinner for Monsters.

I believe you see my elbow.

- I play the pizza delivery
boy in the movie Slit.

- Well, don't we get
the big names here

on Dr. Nasty's
Cavalcade of Horror.

- No.

This place is crazy.

I mean do I actually have
a job where I get whipped.

- I've always loved that
tattoo on your shoulder.

- That?

I didn't know you'd seen that.

I did it to pay tribute
to my late mother.

She always loved butterflies.

- I've got a question.

Why am I here at
4:30 in the morning?

Don't you guys pre-tape
this stuff sometime

during the afternoon
or something?

- And how long have you acted?

- Dude, I don't act.

I'm actually a
pizza delivery boy.

Now my true calling is
being a movie director.

- Amazing, I'm sure
you'll be fantastic at it.

- I'm going to be glad
to see this bunch gone.

You know, I've been the station
manager here for 14 years,

and the last few years
seeing this group

tear up the studio like
that, it's been the worst,

especially how he treats you.

- Who, Shawn?

He's just a tough guy
in front of others.

Sometimes I wonder if he
does appreciate me, you know.

- He doesn't understand
you like I do.

- I write all the
scripts for the show.

Now I'm out here
and he's in there,

making a fucking
fool of himself.

- Yeah, I know.

I think that-

- I just take them
all out and take over

the fucking show myself,
you know what I mean?

- I think things will
probably get better for you

once production on the
feature starts on Monday.

- Monday?

Who told you that?

- I heard them talking about
it in between the movies.

What'd you think all that location
scouting you did was for?

- I don't know, but no
one actually told me

we were going to camera yet.

- Hey, why don't you stay
here at the station with me?

You could have your
own show and we could-

- Hey, brownie faces.

Guess who's favorite
hot little intern

just got her first lead role?

It's me.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You got the lead part?

- Yeah.

I mean, I haven't like
read the full script,

but I've skimmed it and
from what I can tell,

it's like, it's like
Grammy award winning.

It's that good.

You know, Sam, I'm
always telling you

and I know that you're
a little bit older

and you don't really
understand this,

but it's all about
social networking

and branding yourself
and you know,

I'm not above texting
directors at 3 in the morning,

posting constant
selfies on Instagram,

Facebooking all the
time to let people

know how driven and
ambitious you are.

I mean it's a networking
job, it's 24/7.

Anyway, is Dr. Nasty in here?

No, well, I'll leave
you guys alone.

See you later.

- Son of a bitch!

- I'm cutting to
commercial in 5, 4, 3.

- If you think you're
leaving me on the sidelines

while you shoot
your feature, Shawn,

you've got another
fucking thing coming.

You know what?

I can only bite my
tongue for so long

before it starts bleeding.

What about all those script
edits I did for you, huh?

The location scouting.

I did everything
you asked me to do.

- No, baby, I read those.

This is my script, you know,
and I just didn't think

I could really use them.

- Shawn, your script sucks.

It's got nothing but zombies
and dead cheerleaders

and a found footage film.

It's nothing but cliches.

- Well, you clearly don't know
what you're talking about.

Why don't you stick to the jobs
that I tell you to do, huh?

- You're fucking this up.

- Do you know how
you got this job?

- What do you mean?

- You heard what I said.

Do you know how
you got this job?

Fucked your way into
it, nothing more.

- I'm going home.

- Okay, princess, but you
did do some pre-production

work and you can throw
that shit on your resume

if you think it's going to help,

but the bottom line
is if you go home,

you're out of a job.

- Is that a threat?

- No, it's a promise.

- I'm a solid actress and
a solid writer, Shawn.

I earned that part.

- Baby, I've seen
all your parts.

You know what?

Fuck it.

Get the fuck out of
here and you can move

out of my place, as well.

I think that we're all
looking for a team player

around here and I
just don't quite think

you're pulling your weight.

You're fired.

- What?

- And you know what?

Don't bother cleaning
out your office, either,

because everything in
there, including the laptop,

is property of this
production and I'm in charge,

so I own it, just
like I own you.

- Fuck you.

- Shawn, I'm not sure if
this is like a bad time

or whatever, but
I was wondering if

we could go over the script.

- Absolutely, let's go this way.

- You're so nice.

- Samantha.

Help me Samantha, he's crazy.

- I did this for you.

This was all for you.

For us.

I'd admire this when I'd
watch you change for the show.

From the back curtain.

I got one.

So we could e together as one.

It's what you wanted, isn't it?

Your own show.

No more scheming ladder
climbers that you have

to worry about.

No more drunken co-hosts
to have to tolerate.

No more ass to kiss.

No more male
bullshit to swallow.

You've got your own show now.

Samantha, this is
your time to shine.

We're going live
in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Action.

- Welcome to the
Nurse Nasty show.