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3x05 - A Thousand and Twenty Questions
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00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,167
Hear the legends
of the Kung Fu Panda!
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00:00:15,169 --> 00:00:18,371
Doo-doo-doo-doo
doo-bom doo boom-boom!
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00:00:18,373 --> 00:00:20,273
Raised in a noodle shop
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never seeking glory or fame
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he climbed the mountain top
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and earned
the Dragon Warrior name.
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00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,846
Hu! Ah! Ya!
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Kung Fu Panda!
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00:00:28,616 --> 00:00:31,217
Doo-doo-doo-doo-
sho-bom, doom-doom-doom!
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00:00:31,219 --> 00:00:34,720
Master Shifu
saw the warrior blossom
12
00:00:34,722 --> 00:00:38,257
and master the skills
of bodacious and awesome
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00:00:38,259 --> 00:00:40,126
Kung Fu Panda.
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00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:43,029
Doo-doo-doo-doo
doom-doom-doom-doom!
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00:00:43,031 --> 00:00:44,096
He lives, he trains
16
00:00:44,098 --> 00:00:46,799
and he fights
with the Furious Five
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00:00:46,801 --> 00:00:48,501
protect the Valley
somethin' somethin'
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00:00:48,503 --> 00:00:49,802
somethin' somethin' alive
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00:00:49,804 --> 00:00:51,103
Oh! Ah! Uh!
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00:00:51,105 --> 00:00:54,138
Kung Fu Panda
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Legends of awesomeness.
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00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:57,971
Sweet!
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00:00:59,773 --> 00:01:02,823
[exotic flute music]
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00:01:03,651 --> 00:01:06,836
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
25
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:13,721
[panting]
26
00:01:13,723 --> 00:01:15,856
[footsteps approaching]
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00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,658
[panting]
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00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,126
[slurps]
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00:01:19,128 --> 00:01:23,063
[panting]
Message for Master Shifu!
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00:01:23,065 --> 00:01:27,568
[gasping]
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00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:30,337
Whoa, whoa, big breaths.
[gasping]
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00:01:30,339 --> 00:01:33,741
Just a message, no need to rush.
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00:01:33,743 --> 00:01:35,709
What if it's an urgent message?
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00:01:35,711 --> 00:01:38,345
Oh, my gosh, she's totally right! Is it?
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00:01:38,347 --> 00:01:41,315
Okay, um, breathe once for
not urgent, twice for urgent.
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00:01:41,317 --> 00:01:43,517
[gasps]
Whew!
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[gasps]
Urgent!
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00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:46,153
[gasping]
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00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:47,488
Yeah, now you're just
confusing everybody.
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00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:50,591
[panting]
From Master Yao.
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00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:52,192
Yao? You mean...?
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00:01:52,194 --> 00:01:54,361
The super smart, awesomely
powerful kung fu master
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00:01:54,363 --> 00:01:56,864
who spends all his time
in a meditation box?
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00:01:56,866 --> 00:02:01,001
I was gonna say
"Shifu's man-crush," but yeah.
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00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,504
Master Yao? Did he
write my name himself?
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00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,739
Because that would really be
something for my scrapbook...
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00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:09,009
I mean, personal archives.
[gasps]
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00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:11,378
What is it?
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00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:14,848
He's... he's coming back,here.
To the Jade Palace.
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00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:16,116
- Who?
- Yao.
51
00:02:16,118 --> 00:02:17,518
- No!
- Yes.
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00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:18,852
- Yao?
- Yao.
53
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- When?
- Today.
54
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,121
- No!
- Yes.
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00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:22,690
- No!
- [flatly] Yes.
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00:02:22,692 --> 00:02:26,627
- No!
- What is wrong with you?
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00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,495
[door creaking]
58
00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:38,205
But this is so sudden! We
haven't had time to prepare!
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00:02:38,207 --> 00:02:41,775
Master Yao requires
only a small receiving area
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00:02:41,777 --> 00:02:46,046
for tomorrow's wonder
and wisdom exchange.
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00:02:46,048 --> 00:02:48,616
Master Yao has graciously
offered to share the knowledge
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his years of meditation have given him.
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00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,988
Tomorrow, from sunrise to sunset,
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anyone who brings the master
a new wonder to experience...
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00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,594
some unique sight,
sound, smell, or taste...
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00:03:00,596 --> 00:03:03,564
will be permitted to
ask a single question
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of his vast wisdom.
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00:03:05,635 --> 00:03:08,520
Wait. So we bring Master
Yao something smelly
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00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,405
or whatever, and we
can ask him anything?
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00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:12,640
- Yes.
- Yao?
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- Yes.
- No!
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- Stop that!
- Who?
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00:03:16,245 --> 00:03:18,679
This is awesome!
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00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,948
I've got, like, a
billion questions to ask!
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00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:24,418
Where do I even start?
See? That's another one!
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00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:27,521
Forget it, Po, this event
is going to be a madhouse.
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00:03:27,523 --> 00:03:30,190
C'mon, all your burning
questions answered?
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00:03:30,192 --> 00:03:31,792
How great is that?
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00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:35,963
I don't have burning questions.
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00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,931
Master Shifu, I really don't think...
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00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:39,800
"Master Yao, what do
you look for in a bestie?"
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00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:44,171
No, too aggressive.
"in a kung fu companion?" better.
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00:03:44,173 --> 00:03:45,939
- This is gonna be great!
- I know.
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00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:47,909
Mm-hmm.
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00:03:50,478 --> 00:03:54,615
[clanging]
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00:03:54,617 --> 00:03:59,119
Dad! I'm trying to sleep!
Can't you fail quieter?
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00:03:59,121 --> 00:04:02,122
That's the sound of
impending vengeance, son.
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00:04:02,124 --> 00:04:05,325
Behold, the sphere of unerringly acc...
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00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:09,396
[groans]
90
00:04:09,398 --> 00:04:11,065
Are you done with... ?
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00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:15,369
[long groan]
92
00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:23,043
[groan continues]
93
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:25,879
So it's my turn to talk agai...
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00:04:25,881 --> 00:04:26,880
[groans]
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00:04:26,882 --> 00:04:28,148
The sphere of...
[sharp groan]
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00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:33,020
- Can I at least finish the name?
- I know what it is, Dad.
97
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,588
You've been messing with the same
98
00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:37,024
lame ultimate weapon for years.
99
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:40,027
- It never works.
- One tweak away, my boy.
100
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,763
One tweak from mechanized perfection.
101
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:48,335
One tweak from the Furious Five's
total humiliation and ruin!
102
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:51,605
[rumbling]
103
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:52,840
Unh!
104
00:04:52,842 --> 00:04:54,775
I just don't know which tweak.
105
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:56,210
Ow! Ow! Ow!
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00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,711
Ow!
107
00:04:57,713 --> 00:05:00,447
And Master Yao will
really answer any question?
108
00:05:00,449 --> 00:05:02,516
Well, that's what the poster says.
109
00:05:02,518 --> 00:05:04,518
I mean, if you can't
believe in posters any more,
110
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,121
what can you believe in?
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00:05:11,025 --> 00:05:13,727
"Wonder and wisdom exchange," huh?
112
00:05:13,729 --> 00:05:18,699
This could be quite opportune.
Quite opportune, indeed.
113
00:05:18,701 --> 00:05:21,034
Opportune, do you hear?
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00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:25,005
[evil laughter]
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[music]
116
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We are ready to begin the wonder
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00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:42,756
and wisdom exchange, Master Yao.
118
00:05:42,758 --> 00:05:45,425
Whoo-hoo!
I feel tingly with anticipation!
119
00:05:45,427 --> 00:05:50,264
How wonderful!
Has anyone come seeking answers yet?
120
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,801
[indistinct chatter]
121
00:05:53,803 --> 00:05:58,772
[grunting excitedly]
122
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,775
- Master Yao...
- Hey! No cutsies!
123
00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:05,078
Ah! Of course.
Master Tigress.
124
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,649
I don't have a question, I just...
Master, please reconsider this.
125
00:06:08,651 --> 00:06:10,531
There's too big a crowd. It's not safe.
126
00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:13,487
- I'm just scared that...
- Oh, I don't think asking questions
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00:06:13,489 --> 00:06:16,957
is anything to be afraid of.
Do you?
128
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,926
What? No. I just...
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00:06:18,928 --> 00:06:20,093
Unh!
[groans]
130
00:06:20,095 --> 00:06:21,261
Master Yao, awesome to see you again.
131
00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:24,131
Huge fan of...
meditation and...
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00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,933
knowing stuff.
133
00:06:25,935 --> 00:06:30,938
Splendid! Have you brought
a new wonder to share with me?
134
00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:33,106
Sniff a whiff, my friend.
135
00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:36,176
Freshly. Grated. Ginger. Boom.
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00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,344
[sniffs loudly]
137
00:06:37,346 --> 00:06:40,514
Delightful! Very good.
Now your question?
138
00:06:40,516 --> 00:06:43,450
Okay. So, say an ice
demon marries a fire demon
139
00:06:43,452 --> 00:06:44,785
and they have a baby.
140
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:47,287
Would it be, like, just
an ordinary water demon
141
00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:50,324
or some kind of steam demon?
142
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,461
[sighs]
143
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:56,730
Did you want us to save
you a spot in line, Tigress?
144
00:06:56,732 --> 00:06:59,800
I told you, I don't have
a question for Master Yao.
145
00:06:59,802 --> 00:07:02,202
Besides, somebody has to
keep an eye out for threats.
146
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:05,639
An all-knowing master can hardly
be taken by surprise, Tigress.
147
00:07:05,641 --> 00:07:07,140
What's really troubling you?
148
00:07:07,142 --> 00:07:10,010
[giggling] Excuse me. Lot
of questions. Make a hole.
149
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,513
Nothing.
I'm just doing our job.
150
00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:16,583
Come, come, who is next?
151
00:07:16,585 --> 00:07:19,052
I bring you steamed
apples with honey.
152
00:07:19,054 --> 00:07:23,190
I collect pieces of bamboo
that look like famous people.
153
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:25,926
- This one is Mantis.
- Hey!
154
00:07:25,928 --> 00:07:29,529
The sound of one hand clapping, huh?
155
00:07:29,531 --> 00:07:33,834
Uh, do butterflies remember what
it was like to be a caterpillar?
156
00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:36,103
Will I ever know love?
157
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:39,039
Does this look infected?
158
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,909
[whimpers]
159
00:07:41,911 --> 00:07:43,410
Behold, the wonder of...
160
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:46,346
A villainous inventor in
a cheap novelty disguise!
161
00:07:46,348 --> 00:07:51,551
I love it!
Very good. Now, your question.
162
00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:53,553
I was going to show you... my...
163
00:07:53,555 --> 00:07:56,056
[nervous laugh]
yeah, okay, okay. Great.
164
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:58,859
So I have this sphere
of unerringly accurate...
165
00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:01,128
I am aware of your ultimate weapon.
166
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:04,798
You wish to know why
it is not yet working?
167
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,601
Oh, no, no.
I-I can handle it myself.
168
00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:11,605
I just, um... it's the
rod calibration, right?
169
00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:12,606
No.
170
00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:14,041
[smacks forehead]
171
00:08:14,043 --> 00:08:17,945
Thank you for participating
in the Wonder and wisdom exchange!
172
00:08:17,947 --> 00:08:19,713
Have a wonderful day!
173
00:08:19,715 --> 00:08:23,784
What? No! One more guess!
The pressure regulator?
174
00:08:23,786 --> 00:08:26,486
The poke-jab matrix?
[groans]
175
00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:29,323
Can't you just tell him so he
stops embarrassing all of us?
176
00:08:29,325 --> 00:08:31,291
Rules, young Bian Zao.
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00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:36,063
If you would have an answer,
you must present a new wonder.
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00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:39,633
Behold, the stench of failure.
179
00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:42,502
[sniffs loudly]
Pungent! Very good.
180
00:08:42,504 --> 00:08:43,770
[clears throat]
181
00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:45,973
You must correct for the
sphere's oblong rotation
182
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:48,308
by adjusting the fifth,
sixth, and ninth rods
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00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,911
from the base until
they reach a concavity
184
00:08:50,913 --> 00:08:54,748
similar to the offset
created by your control seat.
185
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,484
Of course! I mean, I would've
gotten there eventually.
186
00:08:57,486 --> 00:09:00,120
Totally headed in that direction.
187
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:03,957
You've humiliated me for
the last time, Furious Five!
188
00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:08,195
Today, Taotie proves that
technology is the true master,
189
00:09:08,197 --> 00:09:10,464
and kung fu is stup...
190
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,832
- Hi-yaah!
- Unh!
191
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:15,769
- Hunh!
- Ow! Oh! Aah!
192
00:09:15,771 --> 00:09:18,338
Bees.
Seriously, what's their deal?
193
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,806
Whoa!
194
00:09:19,808 --> 00:09:20,974
Aah!
195
00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:23,677
I brought the master
a curved piece of wood.
196
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:24,711
Cool.
197
00:09:24,713 --> 00:09:26,113
Aah! Whoa!
198
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:27,714
Unh!
199
00:09:27,716 --> 00:09:29,149
Aah!
200
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,119
[fading shout]
201
00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:36,123
- What did you do?
- Tigress! What's happened?
202
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:40,794
I don't know, why
don't you ask Master Yao?
203
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:45,165
Okay, but it'll have to
be somebody else's question,
204
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,868
'cause I already have got a bee thing.
205
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:56,543
Whatever. I guess I'll just
walk back from the Jade Palace.
206
00:09:56,545 --> 00:10:00,914
And just in time for the test run!
Lucky you!
207
00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:04,985
[groans]
Why am I even sarcastic?
208
00:10:04,987 --> 00:10:06,553
[creaking]
209
00:10:06,555 --> 00:10:08,588
[whirring]
210
00:10:08,590 --> 00:10:11,058
[hissing]
211
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:16,096
Ha! The old fool was right!
212
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:20,600
Then how is he a fool?
Do you even listen to yourself?
213
00:10:20,602 --> 00:10:23,703
Prepare for your
ultimate ruin, Furious Five!
214
00:10:23,705 --> 00:10:25,739
For today, you face...
215
00:10:25,741 --> 00:10:29,776
the sphere of unerringly
accurate acupressure!
216
00:10:29,778 --> 00:10:31,778
[laughs]
217
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:34,714
[creaking]
218
00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:38,819
[evil laughter]
219
00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,529
Again, Po?
220
00:10:49,531 --> 00:10:51,698
I've only asked
seventeen of my questions!
221
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,233
Haven't even touched the subsection
222
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,901
on action figure maintenance.
223
00:10:54,903 --> 00:10:58,238
You'd better hurry.
It's starting to get ugly up there.
224
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,540
Did those two just show
Master Yao a peony blossom?
225
00:11:00,542 --> 00:11:02,709
- That's completely unfair!
- That was going to be my wonder!
226
00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:07,114
[overlapping argument]
227
00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,985
I got it!
Master Yao, have you
228
00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:13,386
ever been hit in the face
with a war hammer?
229
00:11:13,388 --> 00:11:14,421
Ooh!
230
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:15,822
[everyone talking at once]
231
00:11:15,824 --> 00:11:19,092
Okay, we're done here.
232
00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:21,661
[hollow thud]
233
00:11:21,663 --> 00:11:25,165
- Hah!
- How thrilling!
234
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:26,733
[crowd yelling]
235
00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:28,401
Woo-hoo-hoo!
236
00:11:28,403 --> 00:11:30,570
Master Yao?
Is it sundown already?
237
00:11:30,572 --> 00:11:31,972
Unh!
238
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:35,742
[laughs]
This rescue is marvelous!
239
00:11:35,744 --> 00:11:38,245
Woo-hoo-hoo!
240
00:11:38,247 --> 00:11:40,814
[panting] Whoa!
241
00:11:40,816 --> 00:11:43,409
I'm afraid you're going nowhere!
242
00:11:43,444 --> 00:11:45,318
[panicked screams]
243
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,654
Except on a very short journey
244
00:11:47,656 --> 00:11:52,826
- to the land of defeat and shame!
- We're getting neighbors?
245
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:56,029
We are rolling to the valley of victory,
246
00:11:56,031 --> 00:11:59,833
on board the sphere of
unerringly accurate acupressure!
247
00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:04,804
You made a riding massage ball?
248
00:12:04,806 --> 00:12:09,176
It's not a massage ball!
It's a weapon of unspeakable terror!
249
00:12:09,178 --> 00:12:12,546
Hey, send some unspeakable terror
to my lower lumbar region.
250
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,014
I got a knot like nobody's...
251
00:12:14,016 --> 00:12:15,382
Aah! Huh?
252
00:12:15,384 --> 00:12:17,350
Unh!
253
00:12:17,352 --> 00:12:18,351
What? Ow!
254
00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:19,486
[repeated slapping]
255
00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,855
Ow! Stop... Ow!
hitting... Ow!...me!
256
00:12:21,857 --> 00:12:23,690
Aah!
257
00:12:23,692 --> 00:12:24,691
Ooh!
258
00:12:24,693 --> 00:12:25,692
[gasps]
259
00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:26,693
[grunts]
260
00:12:26,695 --> 00:12:29,062
[grunting]
261
00:12:30,364 --> 00:12:32,065
[all grunting]
262
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:34,501
[laughs]
263
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,869
Enough!
264
00:12:35,871 --> 00:12:38,371
Whoa!
265
00:12:38,373 --> 00:12:40,874
Hi-yaah!
266
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:43,810
I've spent years making
detailed pressure point charts
267
00:12:43,812 --> 00:12:45,645
on each one of you!
268
00:12:45,647 --> 00:12:48,181
With one strike from
my unerringly accurate
269
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:53,053
acupressure rods, I can force
Mantis to spin like a child's toy!
270
00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:56,590
Whoooaa!
271
00:12:56,592 --> 00:13:00,393
- Pretzel-ize viper.
- Unh!
272
00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:03,997
- Dance the Monkey.
- Di, di, doo!
273
00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:06,766
Bladder control!
274
00:13:06,768 --> 00:13:10,503
In short, I've found the
perfect weapon to defeat you.
275
00:13:10,505 --> 00:13:13,473
You!
276
00:13:15,109 --> 00:13:17,577
[laughs]
277
00:13:19,547 --> 00:13:22,682
Oh! I have never hidden out
from an angry mob before!
278
00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:26,353
What a wondrous new
experience you have given me!
279
00:13:26,355 --> 00:13:29,723
Very good.
Now, your question?
280
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,726
What? I didn't come
to you for a question.
281
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,962
Yes. Master Shifu, the Dragon Warrior,
282
00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:39,699
and the rest of the Furious
Five all took me up on my offer,
283
00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:43,570
yet you did not.
Why is this, I wonder?
284
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:47,574
I keep telling everyone,
I don't have any questions.
285
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:52,579
Of course you do.
"Is Master Shifu proud of me?"
286
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:56,650
"Am I performing the dipping
phoenix twist kick correctly?"
287
00:13:56,652 --> 00:14:01,621
"Why am I so angry so often?"
288
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:05,091
Aah! I have surprised you.
289
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:07,994
Then perhaps you will
answer me a question.
290
00:14:07,996 --> 00:14:11,956
Why do you refuse to ask
what you wish to know?
291
00:14:11,991 --> 00:14:15,402
I... I...
[shrieks]
292
00:14:15,404 --> 00:14:18,722
- Po?
- Ah! That impetuous scoundrel
293
00:14:18,723 --> 00:14:22,642
Taotie has taken the Jade Palace
with his mighty new weapon.
294
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:25,245
- You knew about this?
- I know everything.
295
00:14:25,247 --> 00:14:27,914
Stay out of sight! I'll be
back after I've rescued them!
296
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:31,685
This would be most unwise,
and entirely unsuccessful.
297
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,153
What?
298
00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:37,190
There is only one way for
you to defeat Taotie's machine.
299
00:14:37,192 --> 00:14:39,292
And that would be... ?
300
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,594
I will be happy to
answer that question.
301
00:14:41,596 --> 00:14:45,332
As soon as you bring me a
new wonder to experience.
302
00:14:45,334 --> 00:14:48,335
What? I...
[growls]
303
00:14:48,337 --> 00:14:52,005
- Here!
- I have seen rocks before.
304
00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:55,342
- This one's... gray?
- Ooh! Good!
305
00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:59,679
But, I've seen that, too.
306
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:02,515
[evil laugh]
307
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:05,185
All: Aah! Ow! Ow!
308
00:15:05,187 --> 00:15:07,721
[growls]
Hi-yaah!
309
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:10,690
- Unh!
310
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:13,960
[quickly] Pretty dingo pony bacon
wanna ride the choo-choo!
311
00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:16,863
Whoa.
There's a pressure point for that, too?
312
00:15:16,865 --> 00:15:19,232
The magic of unerringly
accurate acupressure,
313
00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:23,169
my dear flabby fool!
I can make you do anything!
314
00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:26,740
And yet you still
can't make me respect you.
315
00:15:26,742 --> 00:15:29,843
Release us, Taotie.
You've had your fun.
316
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:33,713
Sure. I've had fun, but
who am I to be selfish?
317
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,982
No, no, no.
318
00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:39,552
We're taking this acupressure
puppet show to town!
319
00:15:39,554 --> 00:15:42,689
Let the entire valley
see how my awesome machine
320
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,725
crushes your pathetic kung fu!
321
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,495
[evil laugh]
322
00:15:48,497 --> 00:15:52,766
I should point out you will
also be personally crushed.
323
00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:58,538
Unh!
324
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:00,774
Whoa!
325
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:04,544
[evil laugh]
326
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:07,046
You're gonna break
your stupid puppet show.
327
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:10,950
Art is suffering, son.
Their suffering.
328
00:16:10,952 --> 00:16:13,920
You can't really expect
us to keep this up forever.
329
00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:18,558
No. Just until your
bodies give out and you die.
330
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,927
[lever cranks]
331
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:29,836
- Ladies and gentlemen!
- Huh?
332
00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:35,408
- Taotie and son entertainment...
- Don't include me.
333
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:39,446
Proudly presents...
these idiots!
334
00:16:39,448 --> 00:16:43,950
[kung fu grunts]
335
00:16:45,419 --> 00:16:47,587
Are you just going
to let this happen?
336
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,556
It is not for me to interfere.
337
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:52,158
I was shown a new wonder
and answered a question.
338
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,061
Where is your wonder?
339
00:16:55,063 --> 00:16:56,229
Ugh!
340
00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:57,764
Aah!
341
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,599
Ooh!
342
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,302
Whoa!
343
00:17:05,172 --> 00:17:07,740
Ma'am, I need you to
find Tigress or Master Yao
344
00:17:07,742 --> 00:17:09,576
And tell them that we... ugh!
345
00:17:09,578 --> 00:17:13,746
[loud kissing]
346
00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:15,582
Gah!
347
00:17:15,584 --> 00:17:18,852
That's my wife!
348
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,488
Uh, that totally wasn't... ow!
349
00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:26,092
- This roof tile.
- I have seen roof tiles.
350
00:17:26,094 --> 00:17:29,696
- The sky.
- Yes, beautiful! Seen it.
351
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:33,433
- This other roof tile.
- That is the same roof tile.
352
00:17:33,435 --> 00:17:35,034
Hunh!
353
00:17:35,036 --> 00:17:36,536
Ooh. Hard style.
354
00:17:36,538 --> 00:17:40,440
Excellent for kung fu,
not so good for people.
355
00:17:40,442 --> 00:17:43,109
[pained grunts]
356
00:17:43,111 --> 00:17:46,279
This parade is
confusing and disturbing.
357
00:17:46,281 --> 00:17:48,781
You're right, the show's
rambling a bit in the middle.
358
00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:51,651
Let's cut straight to the points.
359
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,920
Ow!
360
00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:06,149
- I do not like where this is going.
- Is there a point to this,
361
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:08,334
and if so, can you make it
a little quicker?
362
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,203
Forgive my fascination.
363
00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:13,006
They say that curiosity killed the cat,
364
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:17,710
so how strange to see a cat
who's killed her curiosity.
365
00:18:17,712 --> 00:18:21,481
What did poor curiosity ever do to you?
366
00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:25,852
- Why is the sky blue?
- Wow, that was a very stupid question.
367
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,887
[jeering laughter]
368
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,723
How can soup be sweet and sour?
369
00:18:30,725 --> 00:18:34,060
Aw, what an adorably stupid question.
370
00:18:34,062 --> 00:18:39,065
[jeering laughter]
371
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:42,268
[panting]
372
00:18:47,374 --> 00:18:48,875
I...
373
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,744
[sighs]
374
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:57,917
The stoic Master Tigress
375
00:18:57,919 --> 00:19:02,221
displaying total and
utter vulnerability.
376
00:19:02,223 --> 00:19:04,958
A rare and precious wonder indeed!
377
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,261
Very good.
Now, your question?
378
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,867
How do I beat Taotie's machine?
379
00:19:14,869 --> 00:19:19,672
A splendid question!
First, you will need... a box.
380
00:19:20,308 --> 00:19:22,308
[music]
381
00:19:22,309 --> 00:19:27,313
[kung fu grunts]
382
00:19:38,626 --> 00:19:39,993
[chuckles]
383
00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:43,796
I'm sorry! My body's just
naturally awesome at throwing stuff!
384
00:19:43,798 --> 00:19:47,333
- Monkey, look out!
- Wha... ?
385
00:19:47,335 --> 00:19:50,003
Unh! Hunh!
386
00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:55,174
- What?
- Show's over.
387
00:19:55,176 --> 00:19:58,311
Finally! I wondered what
happened to my last acu-puppet.
388
00:19:58,313 --> 00:20:01,981
Careful, Tigress!
His thing does... things!
389
00:20:03,984 --> 00:20:07,353
I'll be honest, I've been iffy
on the science this whole time.
390
00:20:07,355 --> 00:20:11,257
I'll bite. What's in the box?
391
00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:16,195
Hello, that's Master Yao's box.
392
00:20:16,197 --> 00:20:19,132
He's totally gonna come out and
kung fu you so hard you'll...
393
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,600
[creaking]
394
00:20:24,938 --> 00:20:29,208
Okay, truth bomb?
I was not expecting that.
395
00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:34,280
Yes, hide in cowardice!
396
00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:37,617
For all will learn to fear and
respect Taotie and his mighty...
397
00:20:37,619 --> 00:20:38,718
[battle cry]
398
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,688
[screaming]
399
00:20:44,358 --> 00:20:47,460
What are you... ?
400
00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:51,064
[kung fu grunts]
401
00:20:54,802 --> 00:20:58,237
Aah!
402
00:21:05,145 --> 00:21:07,046
[laughs]
403
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:11,751
[wild laughter]
404
00:21:12,886 --> 00:21:15,254
Hi-yaah!
[whimpers]
405
00:21:18,592 --> 00:21:21,094
- Stop that!
- Hunh!
406
00:21:23,864 --> 00:21:25,364
[gasps]
407
00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:27,834
[yawns]
408
00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:38,745
What?
409
00:21:38,747 --> 00:21:40,780
- Hi-yaah!
- Ooh!
410
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:45,284
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
411
00:21:48,756 --> 00:21:53,760
Stop that!
I acupressure command you!
412
00:21:53,762 --> 00:21:55,762
- Hi-yaah!
- Ooh!
413
00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:57,797
[battle cry]
414
00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:01,634
[shattering]
415
00:22:01,636 --> 00:22:03,136
[screaming]
416
00:22:05,873 --> 00:22:09,208
My sphere of unerringly
accurate acupressure!
417
00:22:09,210 --> 00:22:14,447
It's ruined!
Completely ruined!
418
00:22:14,449 --> 00:22:16,482
Except the one that wrecks
your bladder control.
419
00:22:16,484 --> 00:22:17,950
Unh!
420
00:22:17,952 --> 00:22:21,954
[water trickling]
And there it goes again.
421
00:22:24,992 --> 00:22:26,993
Well done, Tigress!
422
00:22:26,995 --> 00:22:28,729
That was the most awesome...
423
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:32,965
what was that, box-fu?
Kung-tainer?
424
00:22:35,502 --> 00:22:38,171
Anyway, whatever, you can
come out of your box now.
425
00:22:38,173 --> 00:22:40,606
Yeah. I know I can.
426
00:22:40,608 --> 00:22:43,509
Abject humiliation!
Ha! I love it!
427
00:22:43,511 --> 00:22:44,811
[water trickling]
428
00:22:44,813 --> 00:22:46,813
Great! Then can you
tell me how to stop this?
429
00:22:46,815 --> 00:22:51,751
Certainly I can! You must...
Oh, alas, it is sundown.
430
00:22:51,753 --> 00:22:56,322
Our Wonder and wisdom
exchange is over. Bye-bye!
431
00:22:56,324 --> 00:22:59,859
Do you need a best
friend and can it be me?
432
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:02,862
Hey, never hurts to ask.
433
00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:07,430
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
434
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,030
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