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1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:06,038
Thanks, Byron, that was
actually really, really cool.
2
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:07,940
I've never been to the
Lincoln Memorial at night.
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:11,143
jump into Lincoln's lap
and take a selfie, so...
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:14,146
And I've never run so
fast from security.
5
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,882
But it was your idea
to play Truth or Dare.
6
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,117
I say we keep playing.
7
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:23,022
I dare you to go out on
another date with me.
8
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,759
Oh! I pick truth this time.
9
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,127
Fine. Tell the truth.
10
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,196
Do you want to go to the
movies with me tomorrow night?
11
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,799
I do, yeah. It's a date.
12
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,769
- Cool.
- Oh, uh, you have an eyelash.
13
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:37,970
You know what they
say, if you blow on it
14
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,738
and make a wish, then
your wish can come true.
15
00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:41,740
- Oh, well...
- Oh-kay!
16
00:00:41,776 --> 00:00:42,975
(blows dramatically)
17
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,744
I wish you would leave
my daughter alone
18
00:00:45,780 --> 00:00:47,212
and go home.
19
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:50,783
You know, Mr. Cooper, you
shouldn't say your wish out loud,
20
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,084
'cause it might not come true.
21
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,853
And you shouldn't irritate
your date's father,
22
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,022
or you won't come back.
23
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,191
Oh, look at the time!
24
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,827
- Look at it!
- I'd better get going.
25
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:03,729
- Buh-bye. Buh-bye.
- Okay.
26
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,165
Buh-bye. Look at that!
My wish came true!
27
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,033
Hey! Ha ha!
28
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,868
Dad, come on, that was not cool.
29
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,837
Oh, I'm sorry, but I gotta
brief you on a mission.
30
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,907
Oh, what, is it Operation KC's
Never Gonna Have a Boyfriend?
31
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:17,743
Oh, that's an ongoing mission.
32
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,944
- It's going on...
- Ugh!
33
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,747
...and on till you're 31!
34
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:26,018
? Oh, when danger comes for you ?
35
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:29,021
? You know I'll stand beside you ?
36
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:32,958
? 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ?
37
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:37,096
? I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ?
38
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:41,100
? Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ?
39
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:43,035
? I'm not perfect ?
40
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:47,039
? So many things I wanna tell you ?
41
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:50,943
? But I, I, I, I keep it undercover ?
42
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,978
? Livin' my life, on red alert ?
43
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,147
? Doin' my thing, gonna make it work ?
44
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:58,050
? Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ?
45
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,818
? But I always got your back ?
46
00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:01,787
? Nobody can do it like I can ?
47
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,789
? I gotta find out who I am ?
48
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,758
? Ain't got to worry about me ?
49
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,127
? It's all part of the plan ?
50
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,162
I keep it undercover.
51
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:11,930
I keep it undercover.
52
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,935
This is Henry Parker.
53
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,771
He donated $5 million
to American University,
54
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,141
and they're renaming the
library in his honor.
55
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,143
There's been a bunch of
threats against him,
56
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,778
so you're going to the
ceremony to protect him.
57
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,982
Who would hate someone who
puts money towards a library?
58
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:33,952
[scoffs] I hope it's not Marisa.
59
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,954
No, the threats were spelled correctly,
60
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,990
and there were no hearts over the I's.
61
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,126
Okay, so what am I supposed to do,
62
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:43,896
like, stand in the crowd and
keep an eye out on him?
63
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,899
Not exactly. You're gonna be
doing it from the drumline.
64
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,067
Okay, yeah, one problem. I
don't know how to drum.
65
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,970
Which is why they should've
given this assignment to me!
66
00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,907
I was actually on the
drumline in college.
67
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,843
Pop! Wah!
68
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,712
I'm sorry. Wait a minute. Uh...
69
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,047
Dad, are you suggesting that you can
70
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,882
go undercover as a college student?
71
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,851
Well, I think I could
pass for a senior.
72
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,953
- Pfft!
- Ha! A senior what,
73
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,788
a senior citizen?
74
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,723
Hey, come on.
75
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,925
Okay, okay, okay.
76
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,993
The Organization wants
you up front and center,
77
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,029
which means you have to
get the big drum solo,
78
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:21,099
and you're gonna do it with
these specialized drum sticks.
79
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:36,148
Oh! Thank you, DC!
80
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,151
You know, I got a real
career with this.
81
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,852
- Well...
- Relax.
82
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,922
With these, any idiot
can drum like a pro.
83
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:46,191
- Aah! Ow!
- Okay.
84
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,160
Apparently not any idiot.
85
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:55,000
All right, everybody, we need to
practice for the library dedication
86
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:58,103
for some millionaire Henry
Parker dude, or something.
87
00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,938
Look, I don't know.
88
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,807
I graduate in two weeks.
89
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,809
I am super checked out.
90
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,744
Um, all right, where's William?
91
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,845
We need to go over his solo.
92
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,914
Actually, William couldn't make it,
93
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,682
so I'm filling in for him.
94
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:11,750
I'm Cassandra Bailey
95
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,085
from the drumline at Georgetown.
96
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,119
What's wrong with William?
97
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,788
Something about his neck went out.
98
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,728
But it's cool.
99
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,930
He taught me his solo,
so I'm good to go.
100
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:28,700
All right. Everybody,
this is Cassandra.
101
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,702
I guess she'll be filling
William's shoes.
102
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,938
Ah, actually, brought my own shoes.
103
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:37,009
Ringworm is no joke, people.
104
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:39,011
This is ridiculous!
105
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,113
So, a stranger walks in off the street,
106
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,848
and you're just going to hand her
107
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,116
the biggest drum solo of the year?
108
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,917
Look, man, I know you don't know me,
109
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,719
but I promise you, I got more beats
110
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,054
than a farmer's market.
111
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,790
Ha ha! You know, when
beets are in season.
112
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:52,891
[rimshot]
113
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,726
Thank you.
114
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,862
Oh, and you know what I got?
115
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,797
The rulebook.
116
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,667
According to section five, subsection A
117
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,068
of the Drumline Charter Bylaws,
118
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,937
I hereby invoke my right to a drum-off!
119
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,806
- Come on, Elliot...
- I invoke!
120
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,941
- I invoke!
- All right.
121
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,843
All right, fine, if it'll shut you up.
122
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:15,113
Cassandra, Elliot, it's a drum-off!
123
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:56,188
Oh, ho! Cassandra, you got the solo!
124
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,189
But that's not fair!
125
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,824
It's okay, Elliot,
126
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,026
look, you can play the solo, too, okay?
127
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:03,795
Just "so low" nobody can hear you.
128
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,732
[rimshot]
129
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,899
Thank you again.
130
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,971
[mournful music on TV]
131
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,806
[sniffling]
132
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,878
I don't know why they said
this was a chick flick.
133
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,081
There's a lot in it for
dudes to enjoy, too.
134
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:25,050
What're you doing?
135
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,919
Oh, um, I was watching a war movie,
136
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:31,757
The Guns of, uh... what do you want?
137
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,994
- Where's KC?
- On a mission.
138
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,830
What? No! She's supposed to
help me with my college essay!
139
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,900
The deadline for the Fashion
Institute of Technology is in...
140
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,935
five hours.
141
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,971
Good thing you didn't wait
till the last minute.
142
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,172
Come on, this is not funny.
143
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:50,008
My essay needs to be as
strong as it can be.
144
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,843
All right, fine, I'll help you.
145
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,812
Oh, thank you.
146
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,983
"Dear Fashion Institute of Technology,
147
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,151
Please let me in.
148
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:01,653
Sincerely, Marisa Miller."
149
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,723
I'm bad, right?
150
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,992
No, not bad. Terrible.
151
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,693
This isn't an essay.
152
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,829
Plus, you spelled "Marisa" wrong.
153
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,732
Okay, whatever. I know it stinks.
154
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,101
I don't know what else to write about.
155
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,904
Try writing about your life.
156
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,806
Please, what am I supposed to say?
157
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,908
That I woke up a few
months before graduation
158
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,843
and realized that I'd
actually be good at design
159
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,812
because my designs are
really, really good,
160
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:27,979
and I love design?
161
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,081
That they should accept me
into this prestigious school,
162
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,017
despite the fact that I
failed most of my classes,
163
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,952
but it was only because I
didn't really care about them.
164
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,054
But I know I would be
a success at F.I.T.
165
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,690
because I'm actually really
passionate about this
166
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:42,093
and desperately want to learn
about fashion and design!
167
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:45,130
Yeah, that works.
168
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,833
You're right, it does!
169
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,902
Hey, get me one of those
wrighty thingies.
170
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,137
Uh, you mean a laptop?
171
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,939
Yeah, yeah, one of those.
172
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,779
Okay, now that you've
secured at prime spot
173
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,081
next to Parker at the
library renaming ceremony,
174
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,016
all you gotta do is protect him,
175
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,752
and [mocking] pretend
to play the drums.
176
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,755
Really, Dad? You're still on that?
177
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,924
Look, just being honest,
okay, you can not pass
178
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,759
for a college student anymore.
179
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,127
Maybe if I shaved a little...
180
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,129
Shaved off 20 years?
181
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,732
I get it, KC, I'm older,
182
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,067
but I can still play.
183
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,135
There was a reason they called
me Sticks back in college.
184
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,905
Yeah, wasn't it because you ate
a lot of fried mozzarella?
185
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,074
Okay, there were two reasons.
186
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,876
You know what? I'm gonna make sure
187
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,944
all your surveillance
cameras are in place.
188
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,813
Maybe you should try bashing that drum
189
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:35,981
instead of your dear old dad.
190
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:42,721
Oh, uh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
191
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,990
Excuse me. You can't be on the quad
192
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,758
without a proper wristband.
193
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:47,993
They didn't give me one,
194
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,061
but it's cool... I'm with the drumline.
195
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:54,733
Oh! Well, in that case, yeah,
let me just slap one on ya.
196
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,736
- Ahh...!
- Yeah, that's right.
197
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:02,774
I'm Barney Feffer, Campus
Security, Part-Time Division...
198
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,810
and you are under campus arrest.
199
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:08,079
- For what?
- Suspicion...
200
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,048
of being suspicious.
201
00:09:16,506 --> 00:09:19,474
Okay, look, I think
you've made a mistake.
202
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:22,544
As I've said, see? Check
my visitor's pass.
203
00:09:22,579 --> 00:09:24,646
Student of Georgetown,
Cassandra Bailey, right there.
204
00:09:24,681 --> 00:09:28,483
No, you are a liar!
205
00:09:28,518 --> 00:09:30,752
Because according to my research,
206
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,755
the only Cassandra Bailey who
ever attended Georgetown
207
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,758
died in 1914 of the rickets.
208
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,660
Oh, you know, you look pretty good
209
00:09:38,695 --> 00:09:41,630
for a 100-year-old corpse.
210
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:42,764
Okay, look, you know what,
211
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,467
I should not be telling you this...
212
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,901
but I'm an undercover police officer
213
00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:48,737
sent here to protect the rich guy
214
00:09:48,772 --> 00:09:50,639
who gave all the money to the library.
215
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,841
Oh, that's interesting!
216
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,644
You don't look or feel like a rug,
217
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,847
so why you gotta lie like one?
218
00:09:58,882 --> 00:10:01,883
Hmm, you know, you don't look
or feel like a security guard,
219
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,785
yet here we are!
220
00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:07,522
I can prove it to you, okay?
221
00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:10,592
I have these special drum
sticks in my backpack,
222
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,527
that were given to me
223
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:17,599
by the Police Advance
Technical Department,
224
00:10:17,634 --> 00:10:19,734
Musical Division.
225
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,805
Do I look stupid to you?
226
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,473
You really want me to
answer that question?
227
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:27,642
No.
228
00:10:27,678 --> 00:10:30,512
Just try them out, okay? They're
right there in my backpack.
229
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,781
Anyone who plays with
them can play like a pro.
230
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,554
Wow!
231
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:44,893
Oh, well, I mean, color me embarrassed.
232
00:10:44,928 --> 00:10:47,896
I am so sorry, officer.
233
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:49,664
Yeah, it's no problem.
234
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,801
Yeah, hey, but I guess that means
235
00:10:52,836 --> 00:10:54,903
that we're working the case together.
236
00:10:54,938 --> 00:10:56,805
Oh, well, if by "working
the case together"
237
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,506
you mean going our separate ways
238
00:10:58,542 --> 00:10:59,741
and pretending we never
met, then yeah, bingo!
239
00:10:59,776 --> 00:11:01,476
No! No, no, no, no, no!
240
00:11:01,511 --> 00:11:03,511
Please. This is my last shot
241
00:11:03,547 --> 00:11:05,880
to become a full-time security officer.
242
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:10,585
I mean, right now, my
badge, it's just a sticker.
243
00:11:11,621 --> 00:11:12,620
It's just a sticker...
244
00:11:12,656 --> 00:11:14,456
Okay. Okay, okay, you know what,
245
00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:15,590
um, how about you start
246
00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:17,726
by securing the perimeter
of the campus.
247
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,694
I am on it!
248
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:22,497
Attention all units!
Attention all units!
249
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:25,800
This is Part-Time
Security Officer Feffer
250
00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:28,737
calling for a complete campus lockdown!
251
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,539
Okay, first, that is a
bit of an overreaction,
252
00:11:31,575 --> 00:11:35,944
and secondly, that's not
connected to anything.
253
00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:39,781
Oh! No wonder no one
ever answers me back.
254
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,487
I don't know.
255
00:11:45,522 --> 00:11:47,522
I think it's perfect.
256
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:48,857
I would just probably add
257
00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:50,859
a few of those things
that we talked about.
258
00:11:50,894 --> 00:11:53,862
Right. Commas!
259
00:11:53,897 --> 00:11:56,498
I'd say this is a great essay.
260
00:11:56,533 --> 00:11:59,534
It's real, it's from the heart,
261
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:02,504
it's funny, and it's you.
262
00:12:02,539 --> 00:12:04,773
The Fashion Institute's gonna love it.
263
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,808
Thank you so much, Ernie.
264
00:12:06,843 --> 00:12:09,444
Honestly, like, I couldn't
have done this without you.
265
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,480
It was my pleasure.
266
00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:13,882
[both scream]
267
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:15,583
Oh, okay, yeah!
268
00:12:15,619 --> 00:12:16,918
I'm gonna finish this one at home.
269
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,520
Good idea. Go home.
270
00:12:18,555 --> 00:12:19,687
All right, I-I'll see you later.
271
00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:20,855
- Okay.
- Bye.
272
00:12:20,891 --> 00:12:21,923
[both scream]
273
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,858
- I'm going now!
- Please do!
274
00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:26,928
- Okay!
- Hey, wait, that's my laptop!
275
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,663
Okay...
276
00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:34,536
All right, everybody, get in formation.
277
00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:35,804
We're gonna start with the solos.
278
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,872
Wait, wait, wait, I
can't find my sticks.
279
00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:39,574
Why don't you use mine?
280
00:12:39,609 --> 00:12:41,910
You're taking everything else from me.
281
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:43,678
No, I have to use mine!
282
00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:45,613
Um, 'cause that's gross.
283
00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:47,916
I mean, would you use
somebody else's toothbrush?
284
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:49,684
Are you planning on putting
them in your mouth?
285
00:12:49,719 --> 00:12:51,519
Maybe. You don't know my routine.
286
00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:55,657
Start us off. Now.
287
00:12:57,727 --> 00:12:59,727
One, two, three, four.
288
00:12:59,763 --> 00:13:01,596
Five, six, seven, eight!
289
00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:02,864
- Cassandra!
- What?
290
00:13:02,899 --> 00:13:05,467
Does this group go with,
like, prime numbers
291
00:13:05,502 --> 00:13:07,569
or something? If so, no problem.
292
00:13:07,604 --> 00:13:08,870
Two, three, five, seven...
293
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:11,539
Would you please play?!
294
00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:14,776
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Gotcha.
295
00:13:14,811 --> 00:13:16,878
Here we go. Solo.
296
00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:18,880
Ahem.
297
00:13:29,759 --> 00:13:31,693
Maybe your drumming would sound better
298
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,661
if you did put the
sticks in your mouth.
299
00:13:33,697 --> 00:13:35,897
Okay, Elliot, relax.
300
00:13:35,932 --> 00:13:37,732
It was just a warm-up,
301
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:39,901
just a little bit of a warm-up.
302
00:13:39,936 --> 00:13:41,536
Let's get into this...
303
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,871
[exhales]
304
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,540
[whispers] Five, six, seven.
One, two, three.
305
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,876
Okay. Ahem! Mm!
306
00:14:01,491 --> 00:14:02,824
Come on, Captain!
307
00:14:02,859 --> 00:14:04,792
She's clearly choking!
308
00:14:04,828 --> 00:14:07,428
Give me back my solo!
309
00:14:07,464 --> 00:14:09,664
You got it, Elliot. You can go now.
310
00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,466
Oh, man.
311
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,507
[playing sarcastic coda]
312
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,746
You too, Cymbals?
313
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:25,914
Thought we were friends.
314
00:14:35,392 --> 00:14:37,625
DISN Oh, Officer Bailey!
Officer Bailey!
315
00:14:40,497 --> 00:14:42,463
Officer Bailey!
316
00:14:42,499 --> 00:14:44,632
Shh! What? W-What? What is it?
317
00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:47,702
-I found something! -Well, clearly
it wasn't antiperspirant,
318
00:14:47,737 --> 00:14:51,539
our... I found...
319
00:14:51,575 --> 00:14:55,743
-I found your... [huffs] -Okay, I need
you to stop saying, "I found your,"
320
00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:58,446
- and tell me what you found.
- I found your sticks.
321
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,349
Oh! My sticks! Okay, thank you.
322
00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,284
Wait, were did you find these?
323
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,220
In that drummer guy Elliot's locker.
324
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,654
You know, he seemed suspicious to me,
325
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:08,556
so I invaded his privacy,
326
00:15:08,592 --> 00:15:11,326
which I assumed was my right
327
00:15:11,361 --> 00:15:13,695
when you deputized me.
328
00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:16,698
Of course, no, no, no.
Elliot is the threat.
329
00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:19,367
That's why he wanted the solo so bad.
330
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:22,537
He's trying to get close to Parker
at the dedication ceremony.
331
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:27,275
So, what do I do next?
332
00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,710
Okay, listen carefully, all right?
333
00:15:28,745 --> 00:15:30,712
Hold on.
334
00:15:30,747 --> 00:15:34,415
Okay. I'm listening.
335
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:37,652
I want you to go...
336
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,587
Go.
337
00:15:39,623 --> 00:15:41,522
...home.
338
00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:43,658
Hom... Wait a minute!
339
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,660
It seems like you're
trying to get rid of me.
340
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,296
I want to help! I'm the one
who found the drum sticks.
341
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:54,502
Okay. Okay. I guess another
set of eyes couldn't hurt.
342
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,571
You get full clearance.
343
00:15:56,606 --> 00:16:00,441
Yes! Full clearance. Oh!
344
00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:03,544
I haven't been fully cleared
since the arson investigation.
345
00:16:05,615 --> 00:16:08,283
Listen here, Barney, don't
make me rethink this.
346
00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:13,621
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What do you want now?
347
00:16:13,657 --> 00:16:16,391
I want my drum solo back.
348
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,598
Too late.
349
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:27,335
Yeah, well, I hereby invoke
section five, subsection A...
350
00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:29,671
According to the amendment
bylaws enacted in 1997,
351
00:16:29,706 --> 00:16:31,572
a formal petition must be presented
352
00:16:31,608 --> 00:16:33,574
in advance, for a second drum-off.
353
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:37,445
Per the 2004 addendum
to that amendment,
354
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,681
it clearly states that if there
are extenuating circumstances...
355
00:16:39,716 --> 00:16:41,616
You don't know what
you're talking about!
356
00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:44,585
Okay, enough! Enough!
357
00:16:44,621 --> 00:16:45,653
Two weeks!
358
00:16:45,689 --> 00:16:47,655
I have two weeks of school left,
359
00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,390
and you're ruining it!
360
00:16:52,462 --> 00:16:53,728
So you'll both just do the solo!
361
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,297
You'll both stand on
either side of Parker.
362
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,632
- Got it?
- Nuh, I got it.
363
00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:00,401
Is that cool with you, Elliot?
Does it ruin your little plan?
364
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:03,538
My only plan is to drum my butt off
at Parker's dedication ceremony.
365
00:17:03,573 --> 00:17:06,441
Don't get in my way.
366
00:17:06,476 --> 00:17:08,609
I will be in your way...
367
00:17:08,645 --> 00:17:11,412
except for the parts
where I choreographed
368
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,348
to be out of your way.
369
00:17:13,383 --> 00:17:14,682
Then I won't be.
370
00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:19,354
Or will I?
371
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,691
[cell phone rings]
372
00:17:23,727 --> 00:17:26,294
Um, hey Bryan.
373
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,528
Hey, KC!
374
00:17:27,564 --> 00:17:29,630
I'm at this thing my dad dragged me to,
375
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:32,467
but I'll be free in time for our movie.
376
00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:34,550
-What movie? -The movie we
377
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,604
said we were going to tonight.
378
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,574
The movie I already bought tickets for!
379
00:17:42,512 --> 00:17:44,545
Uh, right. Right, right, right.
380
00:17:44,581 --> 00:17:46,280
Yeah, of course, that movie.
381
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,649
Um, about that. I can't go.
382
00:17:48,685 --> 00:17:50,385
You're blowing me off?
383
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:52,587
No, no. I'm not blowing you off.
384
00:17:52,622 --> 00:17:55,456
I'm just canceling at the last minute.
385
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:58,726
Okay, that is the very definition
of blowing someone off.
386
00:17:58,762 --> 00:18:02,330
No, see, listen, you didn't
let me finish, okay?
387
00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:07,468
I can't go tonight because
my grandma is not well.
388
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:14,275
Yeah, have you ever heard of acute
necrotizing ulcerative gingivitis?
389
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,244
Oh. No, I haven't.
390
00:18:16,279 --> 00:18:18,546
Then that's what she has.
391
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:21,382
I-I am so sorry.
392
00:18:21,418 --> 00:18:23,251
Go take care of your grandma.
393
00:18:23,286 --> 00:18:24,652
- Thank you.
- I hope she feels better.
394
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:25,653
Thank you.
395
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:31,559
[no audible dialogue]
396
00:18:33,663 --> 00:18:35,396
[door opens]
397
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:37,498
Heyyy!
398
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,300
How's it going?
399
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,569
Uh, did you get your application in?
400
00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:43,337
I did! I did! Thank you!
401
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:44,672
Thank you so much for your help.
402
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,407
It was my pleasure.
403
00:18:46,443 --> 00:18:47,608
So we're not gonna talk
about what happened!
404
00:18:47,644 --> 00:18:49,410
- Works for me.
- Oh, me too!
405
00:18:49,446 --> 00:18:51,446
- See you later.
- Ah, see you.
406
00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:53,481
[both scream]
407
00:18:53,516 --> 00:18:57,552
Okay, we clearly need to
talk about what's happening.
408
00:18:57,587 --> 00:19:00,188
Um, what is going on?
409
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,223
I mean, I barely like you,
410
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:04,492
and I certainly don't
"like you, like you."
411
00:19:04,527 --> 00:19:07,662
And I feel the same way about you...
times ten!
412
00:19:09,299 --> 00:19:10,565
So what is going on here?
413
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,434
I don't know. I don't know.
414
00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:18,239
Um, maybe it's because
you're really passionate
415
00:19:18,274 --> 00:19:19,640
about going to this school,
416
00:19:19,676 --> 00:19:22,643
and somehow that passion
417
00:19:22,679 --> 00:19:25,680
spilled over into your appreciation?
418
00:19:25,715 --> 00:19:28,683
Yes! Yes! My passion
419
00:19:28,718 --> 00:19:31,352
spilled over into my appreciation,
420
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,687
and onto your lips!
421
00:19:32,722 --> 00:19:34,455
That makes perfect sense.
422
00:19:34,491 --> 00:19:35,623
- It was nothing!
- Less than nothing.
423
00:19:35,658 --> 00:19:36,657
I'm so glad we cleared that up!
424
00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:37,692
Me too!
425
00:19:46,536 --> 00:19:49,237
[cheering]
426
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,539
Congratulations to our benefactor
427
00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:53,641
and to the man we're
celebrating here today,
428
00:19:53,676 --> 00:19:57,645
Mr., uh, Henry Parker!
429
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,248
[cheering]
430
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,716
And now, in a special salute,
431
00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:05,453
the American University Drumline!
432
00:21:03,546 --> 00:21:06,614
I know you stole my sticks
and put them in your locker.
433
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:10,318
What? What, locker, what
are you, in high school?
434
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,419
I don't have a locker.
435
00:21:11,454 --> 00:21:14,555
Oh. Yeah, right, that makes sense.
436
00:21:14,591 --> 00:21:17,725
Wait, if it wasn't you, then...
437
00:21:21,397 --> 00:21:23,497
Barney Feffer.
438
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,367
Congratulations! I'm
giving you your solo back!
439
00:21:26,402 --> 00:21:28,402
It was never yours to give!
440
00:21:29,606 --> 00:21:31,339
Drumline sounds amazing.
441
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:33,341
Just wish we could see it better.
442
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:36,744
Ooh!
443
00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:39,647
So, you played stupid
and I fell for it.
444
00:21:39,682 --> 00:21:42,650
Played stupid, or am stupid?
445
00:21:42,685 --> 00:21:45,586
Either way, you fell for it.
446
00:21:45,622 --> 00:21:47,555
Well, what's your beef with Parker?
447
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:51,592
It all started 35 years ago
at this very university.
448
00:21:51,628 --> 00:21:55,363
Parker and I were assigned
the same dorm room.
449
00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,765
I distinctly called dibs on
the top bunk, but Parker!
450
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,667
Okay. Okay. I've lost interest.
451
00:21:59,702 --> 00:22:02,503
Okay, I'm taking you in. Let's go.
452
00:22:02,538 --> 00:22:04,405
Yeow!
453
00:22:18,554 --> 00:22:20,388
Nice drum roll, Barney.
454
00:22:39,409 --> 00:22:41,375
Oh, come on.
455
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,445
Well, look at that, Barney.
456
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,314
You just got upgraded
to maximum security.
457
00:22:49,719 --> 00:22:52,319
Wow, Dad, that was amazing.
458
00:22:52,355 --> 00:22:53,654
I'm so glad that we came.
459
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,395
KC? What are you doing here?
460
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:05,466
Rob, your name's on TV!
461
00:23:05,516 --> 00:23:10,066
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